"You smelled salt." Caroline huffed into the phone. "Seriously Bonnie? that's all we have?"
Bonnie rolled her eyes as she walked through the airport. "i'm sorry Care- she kept her eyes on the map." Bonnie thought again about what she had seen. "I mean...the floor was wooden, i thought maybe i could see a lot of wood out of the corner of her eyes."
"Like a cabin?" Stefan asked, listening to the conversation as he sat next to Caroline.
They had already checked in a hotel near the airport a few hours earlier and were waiting for Bonnie and Damon to arrive. Kai's locator spell let them know that the Harbingers were somewhere in Anchorage, but that was a very wide area to search with out more information.
"Yeah- could be..." Bonnie shoved Damon's arm as she motioned towards the bathroom. He sighed and gestured for her to go ahead. "Listen- I got to go. I'll see you guys soon."
Caroline sighed. "Okay, Belvafore Hotel, room 614."
"Got it." Bonnie hung up.
Bonnie used the restroom quickly while she thought over what was going to happen next. Damon and her had rented a car and would drive to meet Stefan and Caroline at the hotel outside the Anchorage airport. Thankfully, Kai's locator spell had narrowed it down to the city but now they needed to know exactly where to go or they were sitting ducks.
She found Damon leaning against the airport wall, her duffle bag in his hands, his backpack slung over his back. She smiled softly, unable to suppress it.
"Can we go now?" Damon chided, annoyed she couldn't hold it until they got to the hotel.
She narrowed her eyes at him but nodded. "Yes." Her voice was mockingly chipper.
They walked side by side, occasionally brushing shoulders. He held the door open for her as they left the airport and went to pick up their car.
Neither of them spoke.
They had held hands almost the entire flight, even when one of them would get up to use the bathroom when they sat back down their hands would come back together.
It was alike a bad habit that felt so good neither of them wanted to stop, even though they both knew it was wrong.
Damon couldn't deny anymore the feelings that he had been having for Bonnie on this trip, even before they left. It was always there, just buried beneath everything else. Buried beneath his love for Elena, hidden in all of their fights. His affection for Bonnie had grown into something bigger, stronger, that threatened to shake his entire world.
And right now, as he watched her walking next to him, her arm brushing up against his, he knew what he was feeling for her and it terrified him.
Bonnie caught him looking at her as they approached their rental car. "What?"
Damon blinked a few times before turning away. "Nothing."
What if she isn't feeling what I'm feeling?
What if this is really what friendship feels like and i've just never experienced it like this before?
His mind continued to race as he put their bags in the trunk of the SUV they were renting and went to the drivers side. The keys were waiting in the ignition.
She let me do it...she let me hold her hand...she held mine too.
He watched as Bonnie pulled herself up into the seat, cursing the inventor of SUVs.
"They do not make these for short people."
Damon smirked. "Aw , don't worry, one day you'll grow up and be big and strong." He mocked.
She gave him a forced smile and buckled her seatbelt after closing the door.
"Caroline said the hotel is just a few miles down the road."
Damon nodded as he pulled the SUV out of the car lot.
He drove with his left hand on the wheel, his right resting on the console between them.
Bonnie noticed his hand next to her, and she had to remind herself that holding his hand now, would be crossing a line.
When we were on the plane, he was just comforting me.
It was innocent.
She shook her head slightly as she lied to herself.
She knew it wasn't innocent. At least not on her side. She knew what she felt with his hand in hers. She knew what she felt when he reached for it over and over every time one of them would return to their seat, even when she was fine.
She felt the perfect combination of comfort and fire.
But she didn't know what he felt, and part of her didn't want to.
It was easier to deal with unrequited feelings than have to figure out what they would do if he felt for her the way she was feeling for him.
What about Elena?
Could I do this to her?
Bonnie looked back down at Damon's open hand. She felt her heart jump into her throat at the thought of grabbing it into her own again. She squeezed her hands between her thighs, locking them away.
Bonnie's eyes followed the images passing by the window. Her thoughts racing.
There's still something I need to tell him...It's just never been the right time.
I'm not sure if he is ready to know...
Bonnie debated telling Damon the secret she had continued to hold on to since her return. The truth was that she had something for him, a gift. But she didn't want to give it to him until she knew he was ready for it. Until she was sure he could handle it.
Damon noticed the tension in her body and wondered what was on her mind.
Normally he would just ask her but right now he was afraid to hear the answer.
He didn't like that though, he didn't like that he had suddenly begun censoring himself around her when before, he was always so honest. She was the one person he never had to pretend with. And now, he felt like all he was doing was lying to her.
"Bonnie-"
"Oh look- there it is." Bonnie interrupted him, pointing out the hotel Caroline had mentioned on the phone.
Damon turned his attention to where she pointed and nodded. He took a deep breath as he swallowed back what he was about to say.
Damon pulled into the parking lot and they both got out of the car.
"Hopefully they have their clothes on by the time we get up there." Damon joked.
Bonnie laughed but smacked him in the chest. "Stop. They're happy." She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, a shy smile on her lips.
"Falling in love with your best friend...its the dream right?"
Damon felt his breath hitch in his throat at Bonnie's words, his stomach twisted into a knot.
Is that what this is?
Am i falling in love with my best friend?
He stopped walking for a moment, his legs unwilling to take him further.
What about Elena?
No. I love Elena. I know that I love Elena.
This isn't like that at all..
This is...
Damon remembered his conversations with Stefan about Caroline. He remembered his confusion, his inability to understand what his brother was talking about.
Now he did.
Bonnie didn't noticed at first that Damon had stopped walking. She turned to find him ten paces behind her. His face was a mixture of shock and confusion, his eyes were searching hers.
"Damon?" Bonnie's voice was soft.
His name on her tongue snapped him out of his epiphany and he remembered how to walk again.
"Wha-? Yeah...sorry." He ducked his head as he passed her, going into the hotel ahead of her.
What was that all about?
Bonnie wondered as she followed him inside.
He avoided her gaze as he walked to the stairs, once again going ahead of her, leaving the door to slam into her face.
She pushed it open forcefully. "Thanks man." Her tone was annoyed and concerned all at once.
He ignored her.
What the hell just happened?
Bonnie followed him up the stairs the six flights to Stefan and Caroline's room. She didn't complain about the invention of the elevator, she just watched him as he moved up the stairs. His face cold, his brow furrowed.
When they made it to the top he pushed open the door again leaving Bonnie alone in the stairwell.
She pulled the door open and yelled after him. "What the hell Damon? What's wrong with you?"
Damon spun around, her voice digging into his skin.
"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me?" He sounded like he was going insane, his eyes darting around Bonnie's face.
"UH- Yeah! Did I miss something?" shouted into his face.
"No!" He yelled at her. "You didn't miss something- I did." Damon walked over to her dropping their bags to the floor. He put both his hands on her arms and stared down at her.
His breath was quick, his heart was pounding.
Bonnie was startled by his sudden mood change, his close proximity. She had grown accustomed to the Damon Salvatore mood swings but this was something different. This was something stronger.
She didn't speak, she just stared back up at him, his face inches from hers.
Damon didn't know what he was doing he just knew that he was angry. He was angry at himself. For not seeing it, for not realizing what was happening. He didn't understand how he could have let this happen. Could he really be falling in love with Elena's best friend?
The only way he knew how to deal with it was to lash out, but now looking down at Bonnie he felt a sudden calm wash over him. Being so close to her, he felt his anger and confusion pull away like the tide.
He swallowed, his breathing returning to a normal rate.
Bonnie didn't say anything, she just let Damon have this moment. She knew he was working through something and she wanted him to be able to do that.
Damon didn't turn around even as he heard a door open behind them. He kept his eyes on Bonnie's, he kept his hands on her arms.
"Uh- guys?" Caroline's voice came from behind him and Damon took a deep breath before letting go of Bonnie and turning around.
He didn't say anything as he went back over to the bags and picked them up. He kept walking passed Caroline into the hotel room.
Caroline's eyes were wide, unsure of what she had just walked in on. She mouthed to Bonnie. 'Are you okay.'
Bonnie had tears in her eyes, her emotions from what just happened taking over. She shrugged and walked slowly over to Caroline who held her arms open for Bonnie.
She let her friend hug her, as tears rolled down her face.
Damon walked into the hotel room where he found Stefan standing and staring out the window.
He turned around to face his brother, taking in the look on his face and hearing the hitch in Bonnie's breath in the hall.
Stefan raised his eyebrows, questioning Damon.
Damon just pursed his lips and ignored him. He dropped the bags on the floor and crossed over to the table in the room that had a bottle on bourbon and few plastic cups next to it.
"Good to see you came prepared." Damon said under his breath as he poured himself a healthy amount.
Stefan nodded as he joined Damon at the table, pouring some bourbon in the cup he was already holding.
"So..." Stefan looked towards the hallway where the girls stayed. "You going to tell me what that was all about?"
Damon swallowed and looked at Stefan. He stared at his brother, unsure what he should say, unsure what Stefan would tell him.
Caroline came in then, "Bonnie and I are going to go for a walk." Her voice was deceptively upbeat. "Stefan why don't you tell Damon what you figured out about where the Harbingers could be...and we'll be back in a bit." She gave Damon a look that would have hurt his feelings if he cared about what Caroline thought of him.
Stefan nodded. "Okay. Hold on." He poured some bourbon into two glasses and brought them over to Caroline. "Just in case." He gave her a small smile and she returned it before kissing him on the cheek.
"Thanks." She turned back into the hallway, closing the door behind her.
Stefan took a deep breath. He turned around to face Damon and walked over to the small couch in the hotel room. He picked up his own drink and sat on the couch.
Stefan didn't speak, just waited for Damon patiently.
Damon put both of his hands on the table, leaning his weight on them. He sighed deeply, a groan coming out with his breath.
"I-I don't know how this happened." He finally said, almost a whisper.
Stefan leaned forward, his elbow on his thighs. "What happened Damon?" His voice was soft.
Damon shook his head unsure of how to continue.
"When you started falling for Caroline...you said you were confused."
Stefan blinked a few times, not understanding where his brother was going with that question.
"Uh- yeah. I had never felt like that before, I didn't know what it meant." Stefan smiled softly, his eyes on the floor. "It was just so foreign to me."
Damon stayed quiet, his back still turned to Stefan.
"How did you know it was...real...you know, not just a strong friendship."
Stefan leaned back into the couch again, his brow furrowed.
What is going on?
"Umm..."Stefan stalled, completely confused about the conversation he was having with his brother. "I don't know really. I mean my feelings had changed for her over a long period of time. There was moments here and there that felt loaded, felt like something more. But we were such good friends, i kind of pushed it away."
Stefan took a moment, investigating his brothers body language. He watched as Damon sucked down cup after cup of bourbon.
"Then after i found out about her feelings, i guess some things clicked. I still didn't really understand what i was feeling but i knew it was more than friendship. What that meant...i didn't really know though." He sighed. "Then it just became so difficult not to kiss her. Every time we were together, it was there, at the front of my mind." Stefan smiled again. "Then i really did kiss her...and it just threw me. I felt so much for her, something i had never felt before. It confused me."
Damon nodded slowly. He turned around to face Stefan as he leaned against the table.
"So how did you know it was...what it is now?"
"that's the thing Damon," Stefan stood up. "I think a part of me always knew, i just had to conquer the fear that kept me from admitting it."
Damon's face fell slightly. His eyes searched the floor.
"Stefan-" He started but sighed and shook his head, unable to continue.
"Damon? What's go-" Stefan stopped.
Suddenly something clicked. Stefan put everything together, he knew what was troubling Damon. It was so clear.
Damon has feelings for Bonnie.
Stefan put his hand on his brothers shoulder. He knew Damon was looking for Stefan to give him the answer.
"Damon, I don't think the question you need to ask yourself is if you love Bonnie." He paused, stepping closer to his brother.
"I think the real question...is how you feel about Elena."