Chapter Twenty-Five: Not So Alone
Sora woke up to the gentle sound of the alarm clock near his ear. He groaned in annoyance and snuggled closer to the warm body next to him, trying to ignore the sound. The noise suddenly stopped, and the body he was lying on shifted around.
"You have to get up," Riku whispered into his ear, playing with Sora's spikes. "You said Roxas was coming to get you for school."
Sora sighed and rolled onto his stomach so he could look up at Riku. "I could stay with you today, ya know. Roxas would understand."
"Actually…" Riku sighed, "I kinda just want to be alone for awhile. I need some time to think."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah," Riku nodded. "Besides, I don't think I can take everyone asking me if it's true or not."
Sora smiled slightly in understanding. "Okay, I understand. I'll be back as soon as school's over. I'll bring ice cream."
"Not everything can be solved with food, Sora."
"Hmm, but it can help make you feel better. For a little while, at least." He scooted forward and kissed Riku softly on the lips. "Don't hide yourself away."
"I won't…" Riku promised half-heartedly.
Sora nodded and climbed out of bed. He tucked Riku back in with a cheeky smile before heading out of the room. On his way to the bathroom, Sora saw Vincent come out of what must have been his own bedroom. Sora called out to him and ran to catch up.
"I didn't know you lived here," he said by way of greeting.
Vincent inclined his head slightly. "Yes, I have been here for almost two years. My family was killed in a fire and Rufus took me in."
"I'm so sorry," Sora said sincerely.
"It was not your fault," Vincent dismissed.
"I know, but I'm still sorry for your pain."
Vincent seemed surprised for a moment before hiding the emotion behind his perfect emotionless mask. "You are a very kind person, Sora."
Sora smiled and blushed a little. "May I ask a favor?"
"Of course."
"Can you keep an eye on Riku for me?" Sora bit his lip. "I mean, just make sure he's okay. I'll be back after school, but I don't want him to be alone for the entire day."
"I will watch him as best I can," Vincent assured.
Sora smiled brightly. "Thanks Vincent, I owe you one."
"Riku is a good person whom I have always considered a friend. I do not mind helping in anyway I can."
Sora nodded his agreement. "I have to go now, or I'll be late. Do you know where the shower is?"
"Second door from the stairs," Vincent directed.
"Thanks," Sora hurried past him, waving over his shoulder with a smile.
"Hey Sora," Roxas called, waving as his little brother ran out the front door.
"Hey!" Sora yelled back, waving happily. He pounced on Roxas and hugged him playfully.
"What's got you so happy?" Roxas smiled, ruffling his hair. "I thought you'd be depressed."
"Riku's doing a lot better then I expected," Sora explained. "And Rufus is letting him stay here. We were worried about where Riku would stay after he talked to Sephiroth. Everyone knows where Cloud and Leon live, so we weren't sure if it would be safe. But no one can do anything to him if he's here. I think Cloud and Leon will be moving in, too."
"I see," Roxas opened the car door and let Sora climb in before getting in himself. "How long are they gonna stay there, though? They can't live with Rufus forever."
"I know," Sora nodded. "I'm not really sure, to be honest. Cloud has a job at Hot Topic, and I think Leon's a line cook (1) in a restaurant, but Riku's never had a real job."
"He can't live on his own without a job or money," Roxas pointed out.
"He'll probably have to get one, but I'm positive Riku won't mind. He likes working and stuff," Sora made a face, "I can't imagine why."
"Because he's not lazy like a certain someone in this car."
"Oh Rox, I don't think you're lazy," Sora teased. Roxas reached over and whapped his head.
Sora laughed at his brother. "I'll bet that as soon as Riku gets a job and saves up some money, him, Leon, and Cloud will all move in together."
"I wouldn't doubt it," Roxas agreed.
"Maybe I could move in with them, too? Ya know, to help with rent," Sora suggested casually.
"Hmph, sure," Roxas smiled.
Sora was shocked. "What, really?"
"Yeah," Roxas smirked at him. "As soon as Axel and I have a baby."
"Roxas, you can't have a baby with Axel," Sora frowned in confusion.
"You're right," Roxas nodded. "I guess that means you can't move in with Riku."
"Rox!" Sora whined loudly while his brother ignored him.
Sora stretched out on the grass later that day during lunch. Roxas was still in class taking a test and Demyx hadn't showed up for school that day. Axel teased that it was because Zexion had kept them busy all night. Sora's isolation didn't last long, though. Just as he closed his eyes and figured he could take a nap, someone sat down next to him. Sora blinked his eyes open and turned his head.
"Hey Axel," he greeted. "Aren't you supposed to be taking a test? You and Roxas have the same classes."
"Yeah well," Axel sighed. "I decided I wasn't in the mood. I'll retake it later."
"Because the teacher won't say no to a Nobody," Sora rolled his eyes.
"Speaking of which, how's your boyfriend doing?" The redhead asked casually.
Sora slowly sat up. "Why do you ask?"
"Roxas mentioned something to me," Axel shrugged. "And rumors have been flying around. No one's seen him since you two took off for the weekend."
Sora debated about saying nothing, but didn't really see the point. The only reason the gangs didn't know the truth yet was because Riku had only told his brothers. But everyone would find out eventually, and if telling Axel the truth could help keep the lies to a minimum, then he didn't see a problem with it.
"He told his oldest brother, Sephiroth, that he was leaving the Heartless yesterday," Sora explained.
"That must've been fun," Axel said sarcastically.
"Yeah, he didn't take it well," Sora agreed sadly. "Riku's kinda just…sitting back and recuperating. He hasn't seen his other brothers yet."
"Why'd he leave?"
"Because he hates the fighting. He doesn't want to deal with all the pointless crap anymore. He wants to be a normal teenager and not go around hurting people."
Axel smiled bitterly. "Yeah, you'd be surprised how often I hear that sob story."
"What?" Sora stared at him in confusion but Axel ignored him. He stood up and brushed his pants off.
"Tell Roxas I'll see him later." Axel tugged at Sora's spikes before taking off.
Sora watched him leave through the gate and rubbed his head. "That kinda hurt…" he whispered to no one.
Axel stared up at the mansion before him. The last time he had been to the home of the Neutrals was a few months after he first joined the Nobodies. Axel was still a no-rank then, being a new member. He had been sent out with Luxord to deal with two so-called traitors. Axel could still remember the pride he felt at being included in something so important. He couldn't wait to take care of the bastards who had dared turn on their gang. Luxord had been amused at his enthusiasm and commented that Axel would go far in the Nobodies with that attitude.
Axel didn't bother ringing for the gate man and jumped the fence. There were cameras everywhere but Axel didn't even try to avoid them. It wasn't like he was a thief of something. Though that nice ceramic vase looked pretty expensive and it was small enough to hide under his jacket…
"It only looks expensive," a deep voice said from behind the redhead.
"Yeah, the real one's hidden somewhere else. This is just used to fool stupid thieves," a second, more cheerful, voice announced.
Axel allowed himself a brief smile that no one could see before turning around.
"Vincent, Reno," he grinned that large, almost fake, grin. "Fancy meeting you here."
"It's been awhile, Axel," Vincent greeted solemnly.
"I suppose," Axel shrugged. "You don't look very different." He glanced at Reno. "And you've just gotten uglier with time, I see."
"Ah, that's not nice!" Reno whined. He bounced over to Axel and wrapped his arms around his neck. "You're supposed to be nice to your big brother." (2)
"Only by blood. And I'm the older one by two minutes, dumb ass," Axel corrected absently. "Do you guys mind going away? I am here for a reason, believe it or not."
"Riku isn't ready to talk to anyone yet," Vincent frowned. "He hasn't even seen all of his brothers."
"You're point?" Axel frowned. "I ain't gonna stay long." He turned to Reno. "So which room is he staying in, brother?"
"Axel–"
"Be quiet, Recruiter," Axel snapped. "I said I won't stay long, so I won't. I'm just gonna give him something and leave."
"You may give it to me and I will deliver it to Riku," Vincent offered.
Axel ignored him, facing Reno. "Which room, Reno?"
Reno sighed and gestured for Axel to follow him. "Only for a minute though. Stupid kid's pretty screwed up right now."
"Fine, whatever," Axel agreed dismissively. Vincent gave up trying to stop them and decided to follow instead. He would make sure that the conversation didn't last long and Axel didn't do anything to upset Riku anymore than he already was.
Reno knocked on the door to Riku's room and got a soft, "Come in," from inside. He stepped to the side and gestured Axel into the room. The redhead nodded and walked past Reno, shutting the door behind him.
Riku turned to see who had entered and was surprised to see Axel. He gawked at him for a long moment before the redhead finally got annoyed and snapped his fingers, getting Riku's attention.
"What do you want, Nobody?" He asked, frowning in suspicion.
"Not too much," Axel shrugged. "I'm on a one minute time limit before that damn Recruiter comes barging in here and drags me out."
Riku rolled his eyes, turning back to the window he had been staring out of. "I think Sora asked him to keep an eye on me."
"Probably," Axel agreed. He took something out of his pocket and unfolded it. Looking around, Axel found the perfect place to hang the picture; right over the bedside table. He casually pulled out a pin and stuck it on the wall.
"What's that?" Riku asked curiously.
"A reminder," Axel stated easily. "Just in case your determination wavers."
"What the hell do you care?" Riku demanded, voice full of suspicion.
"I don't," Axel replied, "not about you, anyway."
"Then what do you care about?"
"Roxas."
Riku rolled his eyes and ignored him, turning back to the window.
"I meant what I said that night," Axel went on. "It's why I drew that picture. Rumors are already flying around about you, but they're about to get a lot worse."
"Why's that?"
"Because I'm leaving my gang, too," Axel announced, smiling happily. Riku whipped around and stared at him in shock.
"Why?" He asked.
"Because Roxas said something to me once. He said, 'You're better than this.' And, you know, I think I agree with him."
Riku half smiled, recognizing the words. Sora said that to him a lot, too.
"This is all Sora's and Roxas' fault," he said quietly.
"Yeah," Axel agreed, staring at his drawing. "Nothing would have changed if they hadn't come along."
"Thank God they did."
Axel nodded and headed to the door. "Be ready to get support. You'd be surprised how many people are going to follow your lead."
Riku looked doubtful but didn't get the chance to argue as Axel slammed the door shut behind him. He crawled off the windowsill and went to look at the picture the soon-to-be former Nobody drew.
The drawing was of him. Riku recognized it as the night of his last huge fight, when he had gotten the concussion. Riku couldn't help but be amazed by the detail and how real it felt. His eyes were drawn with the same empty look he had worn that night. There was even a small pool of blood where he had hit his head. Axel really had captured how Riku was feeling that night. His body was toneless, his face blank, defeated. He touched the picture gently, closing his eyes as he remembered that moment.
Flashback
The rain made it hard for him to see, but Riku didn't care. A part of him was glad that he couldn't fully make out his opponents' features. As bad as this fight was probably going to be for him, it would be worse for Sora. No matter who won, Sora would be the one hurting. Honestly, Riku would choose physical pain over the emotional turmoil he felt now any day.
They didn't exchange words or insults, as was common before fights. Zexion attacked without warning, putting all his pent up frustration into the fight. Riku responded in kind, forcing thoughts of Sora from his head. Axel watched them for a moment before joining in.
The fight was hard and cruel. It was technically two Nobodies verses one Heartless but that wasn't how the boys fought. Zexion still hated Axel for all the attention Demyx gave. Between attacking Riku, he would often throw a few punches at the redhead as well. Axel was always sure to return the favor so the fight was more every teen for himself, instead of two on one.
Riku was as good a fighter as his reputation said. He not only defended himself well against two attackers, but he was able to fight back and do some damage. All he could think about were the Heartless in the hospital and their grieving parents and families. These people had helped put them there. Riku wanted his revenge or, at least, he thought so.
It was a punch from Zexion, on his cheek, that seemed to knock some sense into Riku. True, the Nobodies had put his friends in the hospital, but why? Because of revenge? The Heartless had put a group of Nobodies in jail but the Nobodies had attacked them first. The trail of blood and violence kept going back and Riku realized that he couldn't find where it started. He had been fighting his entire life; he didn't know what had started the gangs.
Riku then felt the strongest desire to be somewhere else. He didn't want to fight anymore. He wanted to be far away with Sora, somewhere nice and warm where the gangs didn't exist and they could laugh and be together without worry of being separated. This fight meant nothing. All the fighting meant nothing. It might as well have just been a violent pastime, with how pointless it all was.
Riku saw Zexion's punch coming, but he did nothing to block it. He didn't want to block it. Riku wanted the fight to be over now, and the only way for that to happen was for him to lose. He let Zexion hit him full force in the stomach and felt the air knocked from his lungs. He didn't have a chance to recover before another fist, this one from Axel, hit his face hard, knocking him down. The wet pavement made keeping his balance impossible and Riku fell, hitting his head so hard he saw stars.
Axel and Zexion were breathing hard. Riku lay on the ground, not even trying to get up. After Zexion's punch to his stomach, breathing had become painful. He curled slightly into a ball, trying to relieve the pain.
"Get up, Heartless," Zexion ordered. "I know you've got more fight than that."
Riku just closed his eyes and stayed where he was. "If you're still mad, go ahead and beat me up. I don't care."
"What the fuck's that supposed to mean?" Zexion hissed.
Riku's eyes opened and Zexion barely managed to hold back a flinch at lifelessness there. The teen looked at him like he was ready to die: like he was waiting for Zexion to kill him. Zexion couldn't stand the intense look and turned away.
Axel stared down at the other boy. He knew that look. How many times had he seen it reflected in his own eyes? Ever since his mother had given him up so many years ago, that was the look he saw whenever he looked in the mirror. A look like he was just waiting for death.
"Roxas…" Axel began. The other two stared at him in confusion. "Roxas took that look away."
"What?" Riku asked.
"Roxas made me want to live."
Zexion still seemed confused, but Riku understood. Until Sora had come along, Riku had thought his life was complete. He had never noticed the gaping hole dragging him down until Sora had filled it. Riku realized Axel must feel the same way about Roxas. Zexion probably felt the same way about Demyx too, he just hadn't realized it yet.
"It's pointless," Riku whispered into the rain falling around them. "I want to be above this. I want to be someone Sora can be proud to say he loves."
Axel nodded slowly. "Yeah, I know the feeling." You're better than the gangs, Axel. Don't sell yourself short. Roxas' words echoed in his head. They had been echoing ever since the blonde had dared say them.
"It's all so pointless." Riku felt water run down his cheeks and he wasn't sure if it was from his eyes or the rain. He closed his eyes and let his body relax. "I want it to end."
The sound of running footsteps stopped the strange conversation. Axel could just make out two figures, a blonde and brunette, running towards them. For one wild moment, he thought Sora and Roxas had returned, but the people got closer and Axel knew it wasn't them. He looked one last time at Riku.
"So do I." No one heard him, but Axel didn't care. He grabbed Zexion's arm and ran.
Cloud and Leon saw the two running off, but ignored them in favor of helping Riku. Cloud kneeled next to him and flinched at the blood pooling on the ground.
"Riku?" He called worriedly.
Riku didn't even open his eyes. "Sora…"
End flashback
Riku opened his eyes and stared once more at the picture that Axel had brought him. Axel had been right; his determination was failing. But not anymore. He remembered the promise he had made to himself –to be someone Sora could be proud to say he loved. Riku clenched a fist and headed towards the bathroom. He was going to take a shower and go see the rest of his brothers. He would ask them to accept him, but he would not beg. If they still said no…well, Riku still had Sora. And that was more than enough for him.
(1) Line cook: A line cook is someone who works in a restaurant. It's also called a station cook. In larger kitchens you sometimes have one person who is in charge of one specific thing. Like one person is in charge of the meat, another the salads, and so on. At the end of the "line" everything is put together to make the meal.
(2) My beta suggested I explain this little blurb about Reno and Axel being brothers. He said if I didn't people would be all confused. But I decided, I want you to be confused. Hehe. Don't worry, I'll explain next chapter about them.
A/N: Took long enough for me to get this damn thing out. Oh well. I just got back from Japanese tutoring and it was so fun. My teacher (she's native Japanese) had us talk almost the entire time in Japanese. I managed to figure most everything out, but I had to stop and think after almost every sentence. But at the end she said she really enjoys teaching me because I pick things up faster than a lot of her students. I felt so smart! (smiles)
Hey damn it, I should be talking about the chapter, not bragging. Um, the flashback scene is from that set of three chapters, 15-17, and the picture I mentioned is the same one Axel drew in 18. I have been waiting forever to get this scene out. I planned it back in chapter 15, but am only just now writing. I tell ya, it took a lot of self restraint to not just throw the flashback scene out there. I'm glad I waited.
I guess that's all. Longer A/N than usual. Well, much love to all, ja matta!!!