Title: Instinct

Author: HigherMagic

Pairings: Dean/Castiel, Sam/Gabriel

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: WIP

Spoilers: None

Summary: Werewolf/Were-cat AU. The Pack meld is going ahead, and though it's not going exactly smoothly, that's the least of Dean's problems.

Notes/Warnings: MPreg. Wussy non-wars that Meyer would be proud of .

Unbeta'd. All mistakes are my own (:

It took me a few minutes to realize it, but once I got it, it seemed obvious.

Balthazar was blind.

Of course he was – no wolf has blue eyes if they don't have some sort of blindness or partial sight. Still, it seemed weird because he'd managed to chase me down pretty well and find my neck easily enough. I knew there were instances of other senses becoming heightened with the loss of one but still, it was scarily good, how he managed to hold his own when we escorted him back to the Pack. We put Scott's unconscious body on him, so that none of us were slowed down by him and if Balthazar should bolt he would have the added weight of Scott as well holding him back. I still felt really nauseous and lightheaded from the run, recovering slowly. Sam and Castiel were in front of us and Bobby brought up the rear.

"Where's Lucifer?" I finally asked, remembering that Castiel had taken both a wolf and a cat with him when going to scout the enemy camp. With a pang I remembered Adam, my brother, God, my brother…If Dad was alive right now he'd tear me apart for losing my baby brother. They could be hurting him right now, and he wasn't exactly thinking clearly…

Castiel's tail flickered over my shoulder briefly; he'd hesitated a little so he was walking more alongside me than before. "He stayed behind on the borders. I told Uriel, Lisa and Jo to stay with him, just in case."

"You told Lisa and Jo?" I asked, angered by that. "Jo's just had a baby, Cas. What the hell?" I couldn't believe that Castiel would tell a new mother to stay in a dangerous situation, wouldn't command her to stay away like he was doing to me.

Castiel's ear twitched a little. "They were nearby," he said defensively, "and I cannot expect my pack or yours to uphold rules that you or I wouldn't." And I fell silent at that, because I didn't want to fight about this right now. I swallowed back another rolling wave of nausea in my gut, and Jesus I'd kind of hoped morning sickness would have gone away. Apparently not. Or maybe it was the stress…

"I don't mean to pry." My eyes flashed over to Balthazar, and I felt another clenching in my gut, but this time for a different reason – this guy was a wild card and I didn't know what to think of him, and that he and Castiel had…history. Jesus. I didn't even know what kind of history, but my stomach was currently not in agreement with any kind. Still, I held my tongue. "Your kind will be safe," he said, "Gordon was only after one wolf," his eyes flashed to me and I didn't know how he could do that. It was creepy. "I imagine this whole thing will end very quickly once the rabble comes to realize Gordon is dead."

Strangely enough that didn't make me feel better, though I know it should have, but I didn't comment. "How can you chase so well?" I asked instead, wanting to know how he'd managed to hold his own even with his blindness.

Balthazar cocked his head to one side. If he were human he'd be smiling and I could hear it in his voice. "I can see what you all see, and I am only partially blind. I can see shadow and when I'm about to run into a tree, and when others are in phase I can pick up images through their eyes, see things that they are not necessarily consciously thinking about. You don't think about seeing, you just do it, but I can pick up where you do think about it."

There was nothing overly hostile about him, I think that's what the problem I had with him was. He just showed up, worked for the boss man and then once Gordon died he was all compliant and carefree and just willing to help and reassure. "Who's side are you on?"

The smile became a little toothier. "I'm on my own side, Alpha wolf," he said plainly, tail flicking behind him and hitting Bobby's nose. The old man shorted and moved his head aside. "When someone comes along and threatens your mate and friends, you stand up and take notice."

I frowned, not knowing what he meant by that, but Castiel snarled before I could say a thing; "What happened was long in the past, Balthazar, and you will do well to remember that you have no ties to my Clan or those in it anymore, do you understand me?"

He sounded murderous, and I stopped walking, staring at him, shocked, because seriously, what the hell? Castiel wouldn't meet my eyes and the whole party ground to a halt because I refused to move and so did Castiel, staring me down while I just stared back at him. So many questions, and his reaction to what I considered to be a pretty innocuous statement just confused and frustrated me. I felt like I was being kept out of the loop in my own war.

"If Castiel and I leave your escort, will you run?" I asked Balthazar, wanting to be able to trust him at his word because, to be fair to him, he didn't give me much reason not to. Plus, Sam's pretty fast when he wants to be and Bobby's one hell of a tracker. He wouldn't get far. The mottled wolf bowed his head and I nodded, then bit gently on Castiel's shoulder, tugging. "You, come with me. We have to talk." He hesitated briefly. "Now, Castiel."

He let out a discontented rumble, but stepped aside and let Balthazar take his place, Bobby on the other side so the three wolves were walking abreast of each other, and I nodded at them to keep going. Sam licked me once on the muzzle before catching up with the rest of the group, and once they were out of sight I changed back into a human. Without Gordon or Scott loose in the woods already I felt a hell of a lot safer. It didn't seem like the enemy pack had planned for full-on invasion, just little bands of enter-attack-flee and without a leader wolves act pretty shittily on their own, and so I didn't fear an attack any time soon. Besides, Castiel was still channeling the 'badass Alpha' thing and so I didn't feel wary of being attacked, or at least of not making it out of an attack.

When he was a human as well, we stared at each other for a long moment, before I sighed, folding my arms over my chest. "Talk," I demanded, and though he knew what I meant the bastard still had the nerve to look confused, frowning and cocking his head to one side.

"What about?" he asked innocently. I almost growled at him.

"Don't play innocent, Cas," I said stiffly. "There's obviously something going on here that I'm not getting, and I want in." He blinked at me. "I mean it. Don't keep secrets from me."

It's really hard to concentrate when he's touching me, and he knew that, so I backed away when he reached a hand out to me, wanting to pull me closer, and though I shook my head, he followed me, meeting me step for step and then catching up until I was within the circle of his arms, surrounded by his scent and his warmth and damn the fucking pregnancy hormones. I went from angry and frustrated to wanting in three seconds flat.

Castiel didn't press the advantage like I knew he could have. He walked us over to the base of a large pine and sat us down, his back against the trunk and me in his lap, back to chest and between his legs as his arms surrounded me, resting heavily on my chest and the growing bulge of my stomach. He pressed his lips to the mating bite on my neck that was starting to fade, since it had been a while since he'd bitten me in the heat of the moment. Too much stress and not enough time, combined with the idea that he could hurt me if we did anything too strenuous, meant that he was afraid to do more than kiss me for a long while, since Gabriel told me I was pregnant again. Sure, there was that one time I'd made love to him, but that was kind of it.

He was silent for a long while. I think he was waiting for me to relax, loosen my muscles against his skin and leaned into his chest, feeling his heartbeat against my back. He rested his head next to mine; I could feel the stubble on his jaw against my cheek.

"You are not the first wolf my Clan has ever met," he began, softly enough that even as close as he was, I could barely hear him. I tensed up a little, because we all know how my meeting with him had gone, and I really hoped he wasn't about to tell me that sleeping with wolves is kind of a thing for him. He brushed a hand along my chest, flattening his palm over my heart and kept talking; "And I feel I should tell you that, because of the way were-cats form their next generation, we are not very diverse genetically. I have many half-brothers through my mother and father, both, and therefore really, it's not a huge exaggeration to say that pretty much every cat in my generation is related to me, one way or another.

As an Alpha, I was encouraged to meet other Clans, to either win over or trade different males and females, so that we can keep our genetic pool as wide as possible." He paused, then, nuzzling against my temple, and I could tell from the way his voice got a little deeper, remembering, that he wasn't quite in the present anymore – his eyes were set years back, probably way before I was even born. "Along our travels, we came across a small werewolf pack. I can't even call it a pack. It was more like three families – three males, two females and several cubs.

One of the males was Balthazar, and he did not have a mate. He was an outsider within that small group and I offered him sanctuary in my Clan, because we met with many wolves along the way and I knew that he would probably, quickly, be able to find a mate or someone willing to take him in along the way."

He sighed gently, his chest rising and falling against my back and I shifted a little, sensing the change of mood coming, bracing myself.

"Balthazar and I grew to be very close friends. He started up an interest with one of my half-brothers, Raphael," he whispered in my ear, his voice low with sorrow and a little anger, hands tightening on my body. "At that time I didn't know how serious wolves were with their relationships. I had to learn the hard way how you thought, how you didn't treat mates the same way we do – that you actually had mates." He gave a short, bitter laugh. "When Raphael slept with a female during the mating season, Balthazar was enraged. He tried to kill Raphael and he damn near succeeded – I've never seen a werewolf fight as fiercely as we do, like he was trying to rip Raphael apart atom from atom, and I didn't think anyone in love could be so cruel, but he seemed to have gone mad with anger, with betrayal, and we didn't understand it. In our eyes, Raphael had done nothing wrong."

He sighed again. "He was a very close friend of mine, and Raphael survived before Balthazar could really slay him. It took four of us to pull him off my half-brother's body, and Gabriel had not yet returned to us at this point. It's frankly a miracle he survived that attack at all, and I couldn't bring myself to order Bal's death and he didn't actually murder, so I didn't think I could justify it. I called him to my tent that night and I wanted to talk to him, to see what he had done, how he'd thought, why, everything. I had so many questions and it was like he was a whole new person in my eyes. He'd usually been so gentle and light-hearted and it honestly hurt to have seen him as anything else."

I closed my eyes, able to imagine it. Balthazar had seemed kind to me, if a little of a follower type of wolf, prone to violence if it was ordered of him, and I shuddered, thinking of Adam, how angry he'd been when Michael had died. I thought of Sam and how I could easily see him getting angry over something happening to his mate, but I didn't think any of us would hurt our mates. It kind of scared me to think of getting so angry, feeling so betrayed, that you would hurt the person you love, hurt them and want them to die. It scared me to sometimes see that anger in Castiel's eyes.

"It was then I learned how you wolves think. How you mate and court and fall in love, like Alphas do, like Bal did, and how you're all so driven by your emotions. Balthazar was devastated when he came back to himself, but he was still so angry, just thinking of the betrayal, that eventually I had to banish him from my lands. I couldn't see any other option besides killing him and I didn't want to do that. I knew sending him out on his own would likely kill him but at least it wouldn't be by my hand.

He stayed the night and I allowed him to remain with us until morning so that he wouldn't have to travel at night. During that night while we slept he snuck into Raphael's tent and killed him. We found his body the next morning, and Balthazar was long gone. It broke all ties I will ever have with that wolf."

Castiel's head turned and I felt his lips against my skin, and I closed my eyes, letting out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding. I could understand that, at least – I would have been far less kind to anyone who injured my brothers. Even Castiel – I knew now that just because he may not show it, it doesn't mean he doesn't love his brothers very deeply, and I could see him hating a murderer of a half-brother. It made me understand. His other hand moved down over my stomach, gently stroking his thumb along the more swollen bump and he sighed against my neck.

"When I saw him chasing you," he whispered, voice taking on a dangerous edge, "I could see Raphael's body in front of my eyes, knew what he was capable of. Never mind Gordon – I hated that creature, but I feared Balthazar." He shivered lightly, shaking his head, and I didn't, for once, want to see what he was seeing. I didn't want to know what he was picturing, how he must have felt, and I swallowed back the guilt that it was my fault, because I'd chased after Adam and for what? To have him get captured anyway?

God, this was just turning into a fuck-awful week.

"I didn't know," I finally said, when the silence seemed to be stretching on too long, and turned my head so I could nose against his chin, resting my forehead against his jaw. "I'm sorry I brought it up, I just -."

"I know," he replied with a light smile and a laugh I could feel against my back. "You were jealous," he accused teasingly, stroking a hand over my stomach again. "You thought I had a habit of seducing wolves."

"If I recall correctly, I seduced you," I snapped back, unable to come up with anything else and he laughed again, kissing the bridge of my nose (which was not totally adorable and did not make me blush, thank you). "That's how you know so much about us, isn't it?" I asked. "You learned us first-hand."

He nodded, sighing a little, eyes on the ground beneath us. "It was also why my Clan hated you and Sam at first. We live long lives and don't forget things very quickly or easily. I wouldn't be surprised if more than half of them looked at you two and just saw Raphael's dead body. It's also why, when I laid my claim to you, the Clan weren't all that surprised. It had happened before."

I swallowed, hesitating over the next question I wanted to ask, and he nuzzled against my neck again, pulling me a little closer. "Speak, Dean," he encouraged, "let me ease your heart."

"I just…" I looked down again, biting my lip, trying to think of how I wanted to ask; "If, when you first met me and Sam, you were just reminded of him, why did you…well, why didn't you just kill us? Why accept what I was offering and not just cast us away or throw us to the mob or something, if you knew how emotional we could get?"

He paused again, his thumb still moving over my stomach, and I felt him take a big, heavy breath, shivering when he exhaled against my shoulder. "Because you didn't leave Sam behind," he whispered. I turned my head, finally meeting his eyes, confused. They were dark and almost five different shades of blue. Beautiful. "Balthazar was easily led from his pack and his family. You sacrificed your freedom for your brother, defended him and yourself, you stood up to me, you fought for people you didn't know and tried to help people who hated you. For years you have been trying to mend the divide between our peoples and you've been succeeding – you know our ways better than Balthazar did. You had – and still do have – fire in your heart and the logic to put in place, and the recklessness to take risks and the luck to have them, mostly, not blow up in your face. You are a fascinating, beautiful creature, Dean, and I count every second that I am with you as the happiest times of my life."

"…Do you rehearse speeches like that?" I asked, half-teasing, and smiled shakily at him when he laughed.

"It just comes out," he replied sardonically with a roll of his eyes, and then placed another light kiss to my lips, his arms squeezing a little tighter around me. "Now, we aren't out of the woods yet, so to speak. Do you think you can walk with me back to the pack or would you like to rest some more?"

"Do I really have to answer that?" I complained, still smiling though, and forced myself to my feet, pulling him up after me. I really didn't want to leave the circle of his arms but there was still stuff to do before we were even remotely 'out of the woods' again, and I wanted my pack to be safe more than anything else at that moment. Besides, the nausea seemed to have passed and I was feeling a lot better. I changed into a wolf and waited until Castiel was a cat again before we took off running, though I noticed he didn't let us run too fast (commence eye-rolling), and we managed to catch up with Sam, Bobby and Balthazar right on the border of our camp.

I ended up bringing almost every cat and wolf I could spare, that I thought were capable or should be there in the confrontation. Balthazar still carried Scott on his back and was keeping weirdly silent, and we met Jo, Lisa and Lucifer on the borders, several hundred feet away from the other camp. I could smell their scents, as we were downwind from them.

Now that I knew, I wasn't surprised when we led Balthazar through the camp, at Castiel's people's reactions – I was more prepared for them than Sam and Bobby were, I can tell you. There was a risk of an outright fight more than once, but that was nothing compared with when he met Anna.

Let's just say we had to physically restrain her.

The air was uneasy and I let them sense us, coming out into the open air. We weren't going to skulk around like thieves or anything – I wanted this open and honest and, hopefully, peaceful. Balthazar stood between me and Castiel, and Scott was still unconscious (either he'd been knocked reunconscious, or Sam'd done a number on him. I wasn't going to ask which). The other wolves were rag-tag. A lot of them were lone males and females – there wasn't a mated pair in sight and the youngest wolf there was Scott. It made me strangely sad for a moment, but we were here on business.

Time to cut to the chase; "Gordon is dead," I announced, not wanting to beat around the bush. There was a low murmuring through the other wolves. "And we have two of your people. I'm willing to give them over in exchange for mine, and we can call this a huge misunderstanding and put it behind us."

There was a pause, and it was too long for my liking. I really had to push this thing home. "I will warn you that if you do not agree to this, I will have no problem laying you all to waste. I have easily twice your number," A lie, but they didn't need to know that, "and many more allies coming in all the time. I think compliance is in your best interests."

One of the females stepped forward, her upper lip curling back to show white, serrated teeth. "No need for threats, Alpha wolf," she sneered, and though I bristled at her tone I let it slide, because it wouldn't do to start something just because I was too prideful to bear a little condescension. "We'll exchange and go. But know that this abomination of a pack won't be stood for much longer. There are more like us and we will not stand by forever while you grow strong and inbreed with these pests."

There were growls from around the assembled were-cats, but they were silenced when Castiel projected an image at the female. It was the image of him tearing Gordon apart and the subtle intent to do it again. I was a little smug when she fell silent, tail and head dropping down just a little.

"Bring the captives," she commanded and two male wolves nodded and went away behind the line. Confusion ran through me for a moment. "We will trade."

Castiel nodded to Balthazar who walked across the divide, bearing Scott still, and as he crossed into the protection of the enemy wolves two bodies were dumped into the No Man's Land between us. One of them I recognized as Adam immediately – he looked a little bruised but there was no blood on him and even as I watched he moaned, blinking blearily towards us. I let out a little sigh of relief, and then looked towards the second.

He was very thin, possibly malnourished, and tanned from many days in the sun. He looked like someone had taken several rounds with him with their claws – the side of his neck bore the marks of three slashes from under his ear to down, around his shoulder and then up under his arm again, ending at his heart. There were also deep furrows dug into his hips and legs and bruises marred his body. His hair was short; a jet black and lightened with mud and blood crusted the side of his face. He wasn't moving but I could hear his slow, steady heartbeat, and his wrists were reddened and scarred from rope burns.

"We didn't have a second man," I whispered to Castiel, for I didn't recognize that man, and then I heard Gabriel gasp.

"Sean?"

HAPPY 2011 EVERYONE! :D