Disclaimer: Nope, TRC and all related awesomeness is the soulful property of CLAMP. It's possible they own mine and many other fangirl's souls as well but that's another story.

Author's Note: An introspective piece that turned out a lot longer than it was supposed to be. Some of this is purely my take on the characters sooo… be warned you might see this as out of character. I promise humor in the next one- along with action and dialogue. Also, Gears takes place closer to the end of the anime/manga.

[Edit: Thank you to Burgundy Eyes for pointing out my extremely obvious typo. All fixed. :)]

Gears

~Sakura's Viewpoint~

It took me longer to figure it out than it should have.

Since the moment I woke up, my name a foreign word to my own lips, I could tell there was something wrong. I could see them watching in turn for something… something I couldn't name, even in the empty night when their gaze had no one place to wander- they watched.

Weeks from the start of our journey I would realize what it was that unnerved me so.

The gears turning behind their eyes.

Syaoran's were not unlike my own in color and yet so different in depth. His glances kept to a carefully concealed few when I was watching but of the times our eyes did meet I'd find myself wondering at what I found there and though I've no memories to go on- no way of naming what I see, my heart names it all the same.

Every time I speak his name I see sadness as if I'm saying it wrong and every time he speaks of the past or I mention a recently returned feather guilt blooms to be swallowed just as quickly with need . The same need he fights with… and when Kurogane pats him on the head with a muttered "Good job, kid" I see a child who was waiting for the praise.

So familiar and so not… like something from a forgotten dream…

Kurogane himself watches the world from an entirely different pair of eyes. He often talks of being a ninja, taking great pride in being able to protect others but when he isn't quite so guarded- I can see something else working in his crimson gaze.

Fear.

Subtle and ruefully acknowledged but there nevertheless. It makes me wonder, who did he really start out protecting? There's misplaced anger there as well and, like his protection, it often shifts to 'the mage' though I doubt either of them realizes it quite yet.

Yes. I do wonder.

Fai's eyes are harder to read even still. I've never once found him with his guard down- not truly. His smile is a distraction. We all know it but none of us know quite how to confront him… after all it's a sad thing when you realize someone doesn't know how to laugh without lying.

Sometimes I see something behind those sapphire eyes that I know I couldn't name even if I had my memories. I think it's called self-loathing… a hatred so deep it can't be directed anywhere but the heart where it began. Sometimes I see pain. Horrible, stabbing flashes of pain that echo in every blink.

More so than that though, I see a wall. A delicate method of well crafted and perfectly balanced blankness meant to keep all else still even as he smiles.

And that in itself says far too much.

They are all so different in their expressions and yet one thing remains the same. They are all waiting for something to catch up to us… watching…

Syaoran is watching for a fate already in the making to come and steal away the last strands of hope. Watching for the end of the road pass him by. Watching for that last chance to slip by.

Kurogane is watching for that dreaded moment when all his training is for naught. Watching for the day when he is unable to protect what matters most. Watching for the day he learns what matters most.

Fai is watching for the pain. Every step we take in the sunshine he is counting as two we will have to spend in darkness. Watching for what he believes is inevitable.

Even Mokona is watching, her posture and movements filled with worry around the edge of her smile. Like she too can sense a thread of the unknown future before us.

Their eyes worry me. So dark, afraid, and contemplative for where this journey will take us. The gears continuously turning.

So, I will smile.

I will smile for the future and hope I can re-shape the gears that guide us into the waiting arms of Hitzusen because though they try- my companions cannot.

Author's Note: I know some of you don't like her but I wanted to thank all of you real quick who reviewed, this fic and others, just to tell me I write an interesting/unique/smart/non-blargy/other Sakura. :) It makes the writer in me giggle to know I can pull off writing a character other's don't give a lot of thought to (even though the anime is about her…) especially since I watch/read TRC simply for Kuro/Fai alone.

P.S. By chance, is anyone reading this thinking of going to NMAcon? An anime convention in north-western Michigan? This will be my second year going as of August.