Updated twice this week, so if you missed Thursday's, jump back a chapter ;p

Missing And Missed

Oghren's snores were very loud. With each inhalation there was a loud grunt, and with each exhale there was a low whistle, and because of it, Rafael couldn't sleep. He turned over again and groaned as a rock jabbed into his hip; he grabbed the offending stone and tossed it into the bush.

"We're as bad as each other," Olivia whispered.

Rafael rolled over and looked at her; she was on watch, sat on a rotting old log.

"What are you talking about?" he asked gruffly, his voice weary even to his own ears.

She poked the fire with a stick and the bright orange embers floated up into the darkness. "Not being able to sleep," she clarified.

"The ground is uncomfortable," he huffed.

"You've slept on far worse," she mused.

"Well, there wasn't a snoring dwarf those times," he said stubbornly.

"It's not the ground or his snores keeping you up, Rafey."

His throat was dry as he swallowed. "I miss him," he rasped.

Even in the darkness he could feel the smile touching her lips. "I know, and I miss Lenny." She stretched, and her back popped in several places. "Won't be too long now, should be at the marsh tomorrow evening."

He let out a sigh. "And then we have to find Kristoff."

"He'll have a camp… there should be tracks," she said hopefully.

"Olivia," he replied soberly.

"You don't know for a fact that something's happened; we can't give up hope," she maintained.

"I'm just being realistic."

"No, you're being a pessimist. We survived the darkspawn ambush, didn't we? Just because we haven't heard from him, doesn't mean he's dead," she insisted.

He stared up at the sky. "He was my friend."

"Is. He is your friend, Rafael," she said resolutely.

"You have too much faith in people, in this world."

"Not all of the time." She exhaled. "I thought Lenny was lost to me. He very nearly was. You saved his life."

He snorted. "I rather think the healer did, not I."

She shook her head. "If you hadn't come running in, Neri never would have dropped her barrier," she explained bitterly.

Rafael sat up and rubbed his shoulders. "You resent her."

She chewed on her lip. "I wanted to kill her," she clenched her fists. "I wanted to put my sword through her cold black heart."

He squeezed her knee. "If I was in your place, with Maxime crawling across the floor, I probably would have." There was nothing he wouldn't do to save Max, nothing.

"I don't trust her," she admitted quietly.

"She did what she had to do; there were too many darkspawn," he reasoned.

"But the blood magic…"

He let out a small sigh. "She isn't using any demons; she won't suddenly turn into an abomination, so she isn't a threat to us. So, I don't really have any problems with it, just as long as she doesn't make a habit of using it."

"You don't know that she isn't a threat to us. The spell she used was powerful; you don't get that powerful without practice."

"You're suggesting she practices on living people?" he asked incredulously.

"I don't know. I just know somebody willing to do what she did, even to a darkspawn, is not someone I will ever trust."

"She saved us, Olivia."

"No, she saved herself and Anders. We were just lucky she had her own blood to use as fuel. She said it uses the taint in her blood, right? Well we're all tainted; what's stopping her from using us to fuel such spells? If she was too injured say? How quickly would she turn on us to save herself, or Anders or Arietta?"

"Olivia…"

"You said she did what was necessary, well what if that becomes necessary? Would she hesitate? Would she refuse to do such a thing because it was morally wrong? Or do you think she would simply do whatever it took?"

Rafael scowled down at the fire.

"Pah, don't mind me. Maybe I do resent her because of Lenny; I know I'm biased against blood mages." Olivia shifted on the log. "Get some sleep, Raf. I'll wake you in a few hours."

"Eh, finally done whining, are you?" the dwarf grunted.

"We were not whining, Oghren," Olivia sighed.

"The Warden's a damn firecracker, I'll give you that, but she's the sodding slayer of the bleedin' Archdemon; show some damn respect, woman," he grunted.

Rafael smirked as Olivia opened and closed her mouth a few times. "Sorry," she mumbled, her cheeks a bright rosy pink.

With a sigh, Rafael laid back down on his bedroll.

His sleep was fitful at best, his mind was racing; he couldn't stop thinking about the attack, about Neri's blood magic, about Maxime nearly dying, about the night they had spent together afterwards… Maxime had said the words; those three little words that had made his heart skip a beat. He had kicked himself for not being able to say it back. His throat had constricted and his tongue had felt heavy in his mouth, so he had kissed him instead, hoping that it was enough, for now. Everyone he had ever loved was dead or gone. He knew it was stupid, that they were just words, and they didn't just magically make someone drop dead, but it was scary how soon his lovers had died once he had said that to them in the past. And if someone truly wished harm on Max, they would do so; it wouldn't matter if Rafael had told him the words, because he was openly affectionate with the mage now. It was all out in the open. And it pissed him off to no end that he still couldn't say those damned words even after everything they had been through. It was pathetic. Weak.

He sighed.

But he had always been weak for the mage. Even in the face of rejection, Maxime had persisted; damned pesky man with his thick, luscious hair, plump kissable lips, long fingers and round little ass. For the longest time, Rafael had believed he wasn't worthy of someone as sweet and kind as Maxime; Rafael had done terrible, horrible things to survive his adolescence. There was a darkness inside him, and he worried constantly that he would darken Maxime's pure soul.

Because of Rafael's apprehension, their relationship had been a gradual thing; banter had turned to conversations, and then to dinners together, and those dinners had turned into late nights by the fire. Sometimes they spoke into the early hours; other times they sat in amicable silence as the fire popped and cracked. But no matter how much Rafael believed he wasn't worthy of the mage, Maxime had believed otherwise. Their night together after the attack had been one of sweet loving making, each of them cherishing every second, realising how close to losing one another they had come. Rafael never wanted to experience that kind of panic ever again.

Olivia finally tapped him on the shoulder and he took up watch instead. Despite her reservations about being able to sleep without Lenny, she fell asleep rather quickly. It wasn't surprising though; she must have been exhausted. She had taken a head and knee injury from the archer the morning of the attack, then fought her way through darkspawn and helped hold the main hall with Neri, and then helped clear out the cellar. The next day she had helped Arietta wipe out an entire smuggler's ring in Amaranthine, and since then they had been walking briskly to the marsh. She always worked hard though; she was the bravest and toughest Warden he knew, always trying to make up for her past.

Oghren was snoring away; Rafael didn't have much of an opinion of the dwarf just yet. Rafael preferred to walk in silence, particularly when there was so much on his mind: Maxime, the letter from the First Warden, Neri, Kristoff, the Keep, Arietta… So much was happening and so many things needed to be dealt with. But Oghren kept making jokes or telling stories. The dwarf had asked Rafael why he only kept one dagger on his belt. "What good is one dagger?" he had asked. Rafael had rolled his eyes. It had always been his preferred fighting style; he had learnt to fight with his fists first and foremost on the streets, only later learning to fight with weapons. It just made sense to use both skills together. Oghren liked the idea of punching a darkspawn to death, and had wandered off, chuckling to himself.

Of course, Rafael could use other weapons well enough, but most of his mercenary work required quick assassinations, snapping of necks, or slitting of throats; his dagger was good for that. And the technique stuck; there was nothing more exhilarating than fighting in close quarters, hand-to-hand, and most enemies weren't expecting such an intimate and brutal style of fighting, so it paid off more often than not. It was certainly a lot more precise than the dwarf's gory axe swings; he did not envy whoever had to clean the basement after they had killed everything down there.

He stared up at the fluffy clouds drifting past the full moon. Rafael had spent many a night under the stars with Kristoff; they all had. Kristoff had been a kind of mentor to Rafael; he trained him and guided him. The old Warden had a wife and family waiting for him, a family he was due to be returning to as soon as this last job was dealt with. If something had happened to him, knowing that he was due home so soon would only make his death more painful.

Too many were dead.

And these talking darkspawn… The thought of such things sent shivers down his spine. Their attack had been coordinated, planned, almost as if an Archdemon was leading them. He groaned slightly; what if Neri had done something, somehow left the Archdemon alive? He still needed to question her on her exact method of survival, which was not a conversation he was looking forward to.

But what if they're not being led at all? What if they're sentient now?

What would such creatures want? Would they simply want revenge against Grey Wardens for all the deaths of their brethren? Or would they want to start a civilisation? Whatever they wanted was probably not good, and he would not let them survive this. They made it personal by attacking the Keep. They made it personal by killing so many. They would pay.

Oghren took the final watch, and Rafael returned to rest his eyes. In no time at all though, the sun was peeking through the trees and turning the sky a bright red.

Red sky in the morning, Shepherd's warning, he thought grimly.

The last leg of their journey was undisturbed; it appeared that nothing lived in these parts. No birds, no bugs, and no sign of any life anywhere. Even the trees were all dead and then the wind died too, leaving them in an eerie silence.

It was as Olivia predicted: they reached the marsh at sunset, and Rafael suddenly wished they had arrived during the day, for it was a gloomy, desolate place. The cold clung to his clothes and the air was rank with death, and yet there were no decaying bodies.

The typical scratching of darkspawn pricked at the periphery of his mind and he sighed, drawing his dagger. "Darkspawn ahead," he warned.

They were not darkspawn though, but blighted wolves. They killed them quickly and moved under a series of trees; the branches were curved over their path, almost like they were moving to strangle them all.

"I don't like this," Olivia whispered.

"Eh, it just needs some colour. Let's paint it red." Oghren grinned.

More blighted wolves attacked; this time they were accompanied by something much larger.

"Are those – are they werewolves?" Olivia said with a gasp.

"Dead, is what they are!" Oghren charged, and swung his axe at the monsters.

Once the beasts were dead they examined them more closely.

Olivia was scowling at the corpses. "The Commander battled werewolves during the Blight. She said the curse was never cured; perhaps these are survivors?"

Rafael's mouth pressed into a thin line. "Or they are the result of some other twisted magic."

They found Kristoff's campsite shortly after. There were no tracks, no signs of life or his things. Rafael stood with his hands on his hips frowning at the old camp fire.

"This does not sit well with me. Where are the tracks, his things? This site has not been used for some time," he said worriedly.

"Maybe he moved on to another? We should check the surrounding area; we'll find him, Raf," Olivia assured him.

They did indeed find him, or his body at least.

Rafael crouched down over his friend's corpse and closed his eyes. "Be at peace, brother," he whispered. "I will find whoever did this to you, and they will die," he vowed.

His mind was suddenly a blur of activity, as darkspawn moved to surround them. The blighted wolves had been a cover-up the entire time.

These darkspawn are smart, too smart.

"Yes, that is your Grey Warden," a darkspawn spoke. "The Mother told me that if he was lured to this place, and slain, that in time you would come."

Rafael clenched his fists. Bastards.

"And the Mother, she was right. The Mother is always right!" The darkspawn cackled.

Rafael drew his dagger. "Did she also tell you how you would die?"

"Will not be dying, I here before you is the First, and I am bringing you a message. The Mother, she is not permitting you to further his plan, whether you think you know this or not. So she is sending you a gift."

He had enough time to think what the fuck before its fist glowed black and then green, and the world faded from view.

A/N: Thank you so much to those who recently followed, and of course to my loyal reviewers. Your support means so much to me. Of course, I'd be nowhere without my darling beta; thank you, ElyssaCousland! Most of you are probably already reading her fic There And Back Again, but if you aren't, and you're an Alistair fan... well it is simply a crime. Go check it out! :D

An update on gifts! I've more or less completed Terrible Two, just need to beta it. And I am almost done with Don't Dare Die, and Dare or Dare too. I've been in a writing mood lately so that bodes well for us all! See you all Thursday my darlings, as always, don't be afraid to drop me a PM, I'm always up for a chat.