Please see previous chapters for overall disclaimer, rating, summary, spoilers, etc. NOTE: Beginning in Chapter 16 this story is rated M. This chapter has some brief language and violent situations but even that's more in the T category here.
Note: Thank you to anyone who reads, reviews, alerts, favorites, or sends a message. Your interest is truly appreciated and saying "thank you" doesn't quite seem like enough. And I know stories that involve OCs are sometimes not the easiest to swallow. But it has completely gone beyond my expectations how the original characters in this story, and specifically Jesse, Cody, and Rachel, have resonated with some of you. It's more than I could have wished for and I hope what I have planned for them won't disappoint. Things are still on track for three more chapters and an epilogue after this chapter. And every writer should be as lucky as I am to have as fantastic a beta as I do, MioneAlterEgo, who always manages to give me great feedback, point out places that need work, and is always willing to gush about Deeks, whether in this story, her stories (Go read them!), or on the show.
Thank you for reading! And if you feel inclined to review, thanks for taking the time! I hope you enjoy this, the roller coaster that began with the bank robbery just continues . . .
Cold and pain were the first things Kensi sensed as she began to wake up. Her entire left side was freezing from where the rough concrete floor sapped away any body heat she had. And the pain in her back and the left side of her face had moved from the sharpness of the newly acquired to a dull and throbbing ache of several hours old. Kensi opened her eyes slowly, wondering how long she'd been out.
The room where she was didn't tell her much. It was dim and windowless, a dull florescent bulb the only light in the room. Her hands were still tied behind her back but mercifully her legs were free. Kensi twisted and struggled to sit up, taking deep breaths against the pain that shot through her body at the movement.
"Kensi, you're awake," Nell's voice, relieved while tinged with worry, came from her left. Kensi turned to find Rachel and Nell, seated next to each other on the floor, similarly bound. She glanced over them quickly, assessing that while Nell looked as though she'd sustained some painful injuries to her face, they both seemed relatively unharmed. Rachel's green eyes were wide with fear and exhaustion, the fading adrenaline fighting the shock of their situation. Nell looked scared but she was carefully tucking her concern away, focusing on what needed to be done.
Kensi nodded quickly, moving to sit near them so they could talk quietly. The room had a door that was no doubt locked but Kensi could still hear muffled voices and movement outside the room.
"What's going on? How long was I out?" Kensi asked Nell. Nell's eyes shifted nervously to the door, plainly concerned about keeping their presence as innocuous as possible.
"I think it's been about two hours. After they knocked you out we drove for about thirty minutes to this warehouse. I never saw outside so I don't know where we are. Once we arrived the men who took us put us in this room. I haven't seen anyone else," Nell reported, automatically knowing the situational information Kensi would ask about.
"How did they get you?" Kensi asked Nell, knowing the situation had long passed, but still wanting to try and put together the full picture of what had happened that afternoon.
Nell sighed, glancing down before she met Kensi's eyes again. "I called in right before I left and told Eric I was on my way and that you were following. And I passed on your hunch that the robbery was underway. But as I was driving down the road a white van veered in front of me and I was forced off the road. They pulled me from the car and I was too out of it to do anything."
Kensi watched Nell, easily realizing the younger woman was blaming herself for what had happened. When she spoke Kensi kept her voice firm and full of certainty.
"Nell, you did everything you could. There are bigger things happening than any of us could have anticipated. Getting the message to OSP was important, don't forget that. At least they'll know to start looking for us."
Nell's eyes were still troubled but she nodded slowly. Kensi gave her a small smile and then she looked around the room, assessing their situation rationally. They hadn't been killed, just put behind a locked door. Somebody still needed them for something. Her mind instantly flew to Deeks, wondering if whatever it was had to do with him.
"The robbery went off. I heard that much through the door. It's just been a jumble of voices but not long after we got here another group of men arrived. There was some arguing about what happened during the robbery, but I heard enough to figure out that they let Deeks go," Nell replied. Kensi's head shot up, confusion and relief warring emotions that left her unsettled. The relief made tears prick her eyes and she blinked them away.
"Thank God," Kensi murmured. "But why would they let him go?"
Nell paused, worry clouding her eyes. "I think Derek Smith has something planned for him. His voice was pretty loud and I heard enough to figure out what he was saying. He seems to have some kind of vendetta against Deeks. And I thought I heard him arguing with another man that Deeks is still useful to them, that he can keep the FBI away as long as they have us to bargain with."
"Derek has never liked Marty, but I never thought it was anything but general dislike," Kensi replied thoughtfully. There were still pieces to the puzzle of what had happened that day that she didn't know. It was maddeningly frustrating.
Kensi was still considering all the possibilities when Rachel's quiet sniffling caught her attention. She looked over at her friend, her heart lurching at the silent tears streaming down her face, Rachel's green eyes blinking rapidly as she struggled to hold herself together. Kensi hated that Rachel had been pulled into the mess, knowing she was completely unprepared for the trauma she'd already experienced. Kensi resolved in that moment that she would do everything she could so that Rachel wouldn't be further harmed.
"Rachel, are you okay? Did they hurt you?" Kensi asked quietly. Her voice shook Rachel free of her thoughts and she looked at Kensi, her face confused.
"No, they didn't hurt me. I'm fine. What's going on?" Rachel asked, her voice shaking. Kensi looked at Nell, who shrugged.
"I told her we work for NCIS and that you were undercover but that was it. I didn't think we should get into it until you woke up," Nell explained. Rachel's eyes were fixed on Kensi, full of curious expectation.
Kensi sighed, overwhelmed at the sheer amount of information to tell Rachel. She probably should have thought about clearances and only what Rachel needed to know instead of telling her everything. But considering Rachel had been unwillingly made a hostage Kensi decided to ignore protocol.
In hushed tones she explained that Deeks was an undercover cop. She told Rachel about the initial mission to infiltrate a gang of bank robbers. She described how she'd been placed at the law firm so she would have the appearance of a regular job and a regular life as Marty Tyler's girlfriend. Kensi saw the shift in Rachel's eyes as she understood. And as she comprehended the deception.
"So it was all just a cover? You started working there just to pretend?" Rachel asked quietly. Kensi heard the hurt in her voice at the charade and she thought about lying to spare Rachel's feelings. Lies were easy and even comforting. The truth was usually harder. But she sighed, knowing that Rachel deserved the truth.
"At first it was, yes. I was undercover to back Marty up and to give him more of the perception of a life and background. I didn't want to lie to you, Rachel. But sometimes it's a part of my job," Kensi said, wishing there was a less flimsy excuse she could give. As a necessary evil of her job it was a perfectly valid reason. But even knowing that Kensi couldn't justify lying, not even to herself.
Rachel was quiet for a moment, her eyes thoughtful as she looked at Kensi. When she finally spoke the hurt was gone, replaced by open curiosity. "Will you answer me two things? Was our friendship real? And is your relationship with Marty real?"
Kensi took a deep breath at the questions, things she wasn't sure she wanted to reveal. But she couldn't deny that she did think of Rachel as a friend. And friends were something Kensi hadn't had much of in her adult life. What little she did know about true friendships, or at least the kinds of friendships she'd long wished she had, was that you shouldn't lie to your friends.
"Our friendship was real. At least it was real to me. And yes, my relationship with Marty is real," Kensi finished, refusing to look at Nell when she uttered the last sentence. She had no illusions; Nell probably suspected the truth. But knowing it was something else altogether.
Despite their precarious situation, the dank room, their assorted cuts, bruises and torn clothing, and the zip ties making them virtually powerless, Rachel gave her a wide and tremulous smile. Kensi found herself smiling back, the impulse entirely instinctive.
"That's what I thought. I knew that had to be true. I'm glad at least I wasn't wrong about those things," Rachel replied, clearly relieved. Kensi blinked, trying to follow along with Rachel's reasoning.
"You're not mad?"
Rachel shook her head slowly but with certainty. "No, not at you. I can't even imagine everything that you've gone through, having to live this crazy double life. I might be mad if you'd pretended to be my friend. And I saw how you felt about Marty. As long as that's true then I know you're not lying about the rest. And I know you had good reasons for what you did."
Kensi was nearly dumbfounded at the absolute faith in Rachel's voice. It was a little difficult for her to grasp, that to Rachel the important things boiled down to the simple truth that Kensi hadn't been able to really hide her true feelings about Deeks. And that had given Rachel what she needed to see their friendship was real, and to believe and support Kensi now.
"Thank you, Rachel. I'm not sure anyone has ever so easily trusted me before," Kensi replied, unable to keep the note of surprised wonder from her voice. Rachel's return smile was unsteady.
"Well, I'm still really freaking out here so I'm also really trusting that you'll get us out of this mess."
Kensi allowed an apprehensive and tight smile in return to Rachel, nodding quickly as she turned back to Nell, addressing both of them.
"Here's what I know. There's something going on with Derek Smith's brother that was suspicious. And the Contreras Cartel is involved in supporting the bank robbery. Nell, did you see anyone recognizable from the intel you and Eric collected on them?"
Nell shook her head quickly. "No, they were careful in not letting us see their faces."
"I suppose they wouldn't want us to be able to identify them," Kensi mused. She was pondering over the possibilities, wondering at how the three of them might be used as leverage, when footsteps approached and a heavy metallic clang indicated someone was unlocking the door. Kensi automatically positioned herself in front of Nell and Rachel, trying to stand but finding it an awkward struggle with her arms pinned behind her.
The door swung open and a man entered, his arm extended and a gun trained on her. Kensi froze, knowing that while everything in her told her to fight back, there were some situations where it was best to bide her time and be patient for the opportune moment.
Kensi squinted in the darkness, trying to make out the face of the man who entered the room. His eyes, full of violent hatred, nearly had her reeling back. It took more than general aversion of law enforcement to induce that kind of disgust. He looked at her as though he recognized her. She studied his face, trying to place him.
"You don't recognize me, do you?"
His voice was hard and angry, as if he were angrier that she didn't remember him than anything else. Kensi shook her head slowly, then straightened as he rushed towards her, grabbing her upper arm and pulling her to her knees painfully as he shoved the barrel of the gun under her chin, angling her head up to stare into his face. Behind her, Kensi heard Rachel gasp.
"I remember you, Tracey. Just like I remembered that undercover cop. You two thought you were so smart, trying to catch my brother. But you didn't count on me recognizing you, did you?"
Kensi's eyes widened as she heard the name and thought back to the alias from almost two years ago. She'd only interacted with the man twice, once when they met and then she'd seen him the night at the gym when Deeks and Sam fought. She'd looked at his picture a number of times during the Daniel Zuna case but afterwards had forgotten him, just like the dozens of criminals she'd helped put away.
"Dale Johnson," she replied quietly, watching as his self-satisfied smile widened. Johnson nudged the barrel of his gun deeper into her throat and she clamped her jaw shut in an effort not to cry out.
"I guarantee you'll remember me this time," he whispered in a voice low and menacing, his eyes flashing angrily. Kensi allowed the flare of fear that erupted at the sound of Johnson cocking the gun but she was careful to keep her face defiant. There wasn't anything she could do except control her reactions. If Johnson wanted to put a bullet in her brain she couldn't stop him. But she'd be damned if she would let him see how scared she was.
"Dale! Put her down!"
Johnson swiveled quickly, taking Kensi with him. As the gun fell from her chin she was able to adjust her neck. And her eyes fell on Derek Smith in the doorway, his expression annoyed as he took in his brother roughly holding Kensi.
"I told you, we don't kill them. Not unless we don't have a choice or we don't get what we want."
Derek's voice was hard and unyielding and Kensi felt Johnson tense against her.
"She helped put me in prison! And you just let that cop go! They know who we are, they can identify us," Johnson insisted. Derek shrugged, seemingly unworried.
"That's not going to matter once we get the money. We'll be gone. But you kill a cop and they'll never stop hunting us."
"You killed that bank teller. And Mike."
Kensi felt her stomach drop at the words. Two people already dead. And she was more surprised than she would have been able to admit at the thought of Mike Williams, the ringleader of the group, dead at Derek Smith's hands. She instantly thought of Jesse, wondering where he was in all of this. He and Mike had been friends.
"Some things are necessary. Killing her isn't. Not right now," Derek's voice was firm and resisting any argument. It seemed to reach Johnson because his grip on Kensi loosened and suddenly she was allowed to fall in a heap on the ground.
She was struggling to sit up as Johnson pushed passed Derek, clearly not pleased that he'd been ordered away. Derek's eyes drifted over her and Kensi repressed the urge to shudder. He didn't touch her and didn't say another word. But the cold calculation in his face unsettled her more than it ever had before. The only solace she could take was that he'd stayed focused on her and Nell and Rachel hadn't even registered.
Derek closed the door behind him, leaving Kensi to struggle to her knees and move back to join Nell and Rachel. She looked at both of them in turn, expressions of concern mirrored on their faces. Kensi mustered up as reassuring of a smile as she could. "I'm fine. Really."
Both women nodded, accepting the lie. Kensi felt a longing pang, thinking of Deeks and how easily he would have seen through her. She would push on and through this no matter how rattled she was. She'd been in worse situations. And Deeks had always found her. That was what she held on to then. She knew that if Deeks were free it meant he would be back with Callen, Sam, and Eric. And their entire effort would be focused on finding them.
Of her four teammates back at NCIS, Kensi knew that Deeks would be the most worried for her. And that he would be the most driven to find her, even at the detriment to his health and wellbeing. Just as she knew if their positions were reversed that she would do the same for him.
"I heard something while the door was open," Nell whispered. Kensi leaned in close, nodding for her to continue. "They don't know about the second code of malware. Some of the men were talking about how long to wait before accessing the data."
"That's good," Kensi murmured, while her thoughts turned troubled. "But it also means our time is short. Sometime soon they'll want the access information from Marty. And then our usefulness is much, much less."
Nell opened her mouth to speak, then pressed her lips together worriedly. Kensi gave her an encouraging smile. "Out with it, Nell. Whatever you're thinking. We need to consider everything. I'm counting on that big brain of yours."
"How do we know for sure that Deeks loaded the second code of malware? If Smith threatened you—"
"No," Kensi interrupted shortly, knowing where Nell was going without her finishing the sentence. But she wouldn't allow doubt about Deeks' actions to creep in. Not in her mind and not in Nell's. "He loaded all the malware. I'm sure of it."
Nell paused again, clearly not wanting to second guess her further. But her need to consider all the angles and possibilities overruled her hesitation. "But how can you be sure?"
"Because he would have done his job. Because saving me would be selfish. And Marty is the least selfish person I've ever known," Kensi replied, her voice full of firm conviction. Then her lips widened into a dangerous smile. "And because he knows that if he did anything that might jeopardize our mission just to protect me that I would not hesitate to run my car over his precious surfboards."
Rachel and Nell both looked at her with wide eyes. Rachel was the first to speak after shaking her head in amazement. "Wow, you are one bad ass chick. Does Marty know about your violent tendencies?"
Kensi laughed then, allowing the light moment to distract her for just a few seconds. "It's actually one of the things he likes about me."
Rachel looked unconvinced and she glanced over at Nell, who simply nodded, a knowing smile gracing her face. The lighthearted moment quickly faded back to the stark reality of their serious and trapped situation and Kensi looked back at Nell, who continued to look worried.
"Do you think Deeks will just hand the access information over?" Nell asked quietly.
"He'll have to. If we want evidence of their crimes the FBI will want hard proof of what they did. And they won't get that unless they can track the access back to Derek, Jesse, Mike, and the Contreras brothers," Kensi replied. Nell nodded thoughtfully.
"They've been really careful to keep the involvement of Santiago and Mateo Contreras hidden."
"What are you thinking?" Kensi asked. Nell paused, uncertainty passing over her face. Then her lips settled into a firm line.
"I think the Contreras brothers might be trying to ensure that if anything goes wrong Mike, Jesse, and Derek would take the fall. Our abduction could be chalked up to thugs hired by Smith. Right now there's nothing to link Santiago and Mateo Contreras to the robbery, other than Deeks' meeting with them. And any lawyer worth his hourly retainer would be able to get that dismissed."
"That lying sack of crap!"
Nell and Kensi both looked quickly at Rachel after her sudden outburst. She immediately winced, lowering her voice, though her green eyes still flashed with anger. Kensi raised her eyebrows in a silent question.
"Josh. He's the one who gave me your phone after you rushed out. I didn't realize it at the time, but he was very intentional about it. He wanted me to be sure I knew it was yours."
"You think he's in on it?" Nell asked incredulously. Rachel nodded grimly. Nell looked at Kensi worriedly. "Joshua Scott was Detective Benson's contact at the law firm. And Benson was the one to call NCIS this morning and set things in motion so I came looking for you. But there was something off about Benson's call. I didn't think about it at the time, but how quickly he hung up and the fact that we couldn't get a hold of him again? I wonder if he didn't have a choice in calling us."
"So Josh is somehow more involved than we'd previously thought. And if he sold out Benson then the connection to the LAPD and my whole undercover was probably compromised through Josh," Kensi mused. She turned to Rachel. "Is there anything else about Josh that you've noticed? Any strange clients or unexplained absences?"
"Not really. He's always been that guy in the office who is trying to score with anything in a skirt. I just tried to ignore him most of the time." As if remembering the dire situation they were in, Rachel paled for a moment before she took a deep breath and continued. "He's always been kind of a sleazy guy but he's been acting weird the last few days. I didn't pay much attention to it at the time. I should have."
Kensi gave Rachel a reassuring smile. "There's no reason you should have. A sleazy guy at the office shouldn't automatically put you on high alert."
Rachel shook her head in amazement. "But this is what you do, isn't it? Work undercover, figure who the bad guys are, and catch them?"
"It is. But Rachel, there's a dangerous side to this too. And I didn't want you caught up in it. I'm going to do everything I can to get you out of this," Kensi promised, meaning the words as strongly as her heart was beating. She turned to Nell once again.
"Okay, if Josh is involved I'm sure it'll only be a matter of time before Eric and Marty figure it out," Kensi said confidently, having complete faith in their team members.
"So what do we do in the meantime?" Nell asked. Kensi looked first at Nell, then at Rachel, seeing the strong and determined expressions on both their faces. She felt a twinge, hating the idea of letting them both down. She was normally the first one to charge forward with a plan of attack. But she didn't see much choice in their situation.
Kensi settled down next to Rachel, trying to get comfortable with her arms still pinned behind her.
"We wait."
It was hours later when Kensi was abruptly pulled from a restless sleep by shouting in the other room. Derek's voice, high strung and barely in control, was clear even through the door.
"Are you kidding me? You killed a cop? The police won't stop until they find us now!"
Kensi leaned forward, getting quickly to her feet so she could stand by the door and listen. Her heart pounded at the words. A cop had been killed? Any police officer dead was a tragedy. But one particular police officer dead would destroy her world.
"He was a loose end. He could have connected us to taking the women through the lawyer. His death will make it seem like he may have been in on the plan."
The answering voice wasn't one she recognized. It made sense that it probably belonged to Santiago or Mateo Contreras. And Derek's near postal reaction was interesting. He wasn't as in control of making decisions as he might have liked to think he was.
Kensi breathed deeply, realizing they were probably talking about Matt Benson. And she mourned the detective quietly, knowing even from their brief interactions that he'd been a good man. And he deserved better than being betrayed by someone he'd thought was a friend.
"And what about the lawyer? LAPD brought him in, so he must have talked."
"He may have talked but there will be no evidence to follow up on."
"If he talked once, he'll do it again—"
"That problem is being handled as we speak."
The same firm voice stopped Derek's objections quickly and to the point. Kensi puzzled over the words, wondering what fate was in Joshua Scott's future. If Deeks, Sam, and Callen had already talked to him at least they probably knew more about his connections and the part he'd played in their abduction.
Looking back at Nell and Rachel, Kensi met Nell's grim eyes with her own. She saw her confirming thoughts in the slow nod of Nell's head. The Contreras brothers were cleaning house. And they weren't afraid of eliminating threats. And the three of them were definitely threats. They had a limited shelf life for their usefulness.
Kensi began to consider that escape might be their best option. There would be a small window of opportunity up until Deeks provided the access information. She knew he wouldn't hand it over without some kind of insurance or plan to come after them. But plans had a way of diverting. The bank robbery was proof of that.
Looking over at Nell and Rachel, Kensi knew her priority also needed to be getting them out safely. If the situation presented itself she would have to take it. She knew there was a chance that it could risk the FBI's capture of the Contreras brothers if they weren't caught red handed but Kensi reasoned that in the end there was enough evidence to convict Jesse and Derek. And she had a responsibility to protect Nell and Rachel.
The voices on the other side of the door faded away as the men left. Several hours passed and Kensi tried to sleep, urging Rachel and Nell to do the same. The creak of the door opening shook her awake in an instant. Alert in a few seconds, Kensi shifted away from Rachel and Nell, concentrating on the figure that walked through the door, bottles of water and packages of crackers in his hands.
Jesse.
Kensi watched as Jesse entered the room slowly, casting a worried glance outside the open door. Kensi followed his gaze, catching only a brief glimpse of the warehouse through the doorway. It was late in the evening now, probably early morning, and the voices and activity on the other side had lessened as the hours wore on.
Jesse's sad and troubled eyes fell on her and Kensi saw the anger that seemed to tighten his jaw. She felt a pang of guilt at how she'd manipulated Jesse. Not enough to wish she hadn't done it, but enough that she could admit to herself she regretted it.
He was still a criminal. But seeing the shift of uncertain emotions passing over his face, Kensi wondered if she might still be able to reach him. She wondered if she might still be able to convince him to make a better choice. Before she could speak Jesse put down the water and food, then he turned to her, fixing her with a furious stare.
"Was it all lies? Did you and Marty just make it all up? Did you even need me to teach you how to surf? Were you just going to pretend to be my friend and then arrest me?" Jesse's eyes widened with a new and incredulous thought. "Is your name even Kensi?"
She couldn't help the soft and sad smile that graced her face at his last words. It was such a small and insignificant detail. But somehow Jesse had latched on to that as perhaps the most important detail to him. She could have had any number of aliases. She'd never kept her own name for an undercover. But in this case she had kept her first name, as had Deeks. Even mixed in with the lies there had been shards of truth.
"Yes, my name is Kensi. A lot of it was lies. But a lot of it was true too. I know you're hurt and angry—"
"You don't know what I am," Jesse interrupted angrily. He lowered his voice to a hiss. "My friend, or at least the man I thought was a friend, killed my oldest friend, a guy I've known since high school. Mike is dead because he let a cop in too close. Derek is running the show now and there are drug cartel members waiting for results. He's holding them off but even I have no idea why."
Jesse's voice began to spiral towards panic and Kensi wished she could reach for him and lay a soothing hand on his arm. She tried to stretch her arms against her bindings, flexing her fingers against the numbness. Jesse's eyes turned sympathetic and he pulled out a knife, gesturing for her to turn around. Once she did he cut the zip tie around her wrists she was able to try and massage away the discomfort, the feeling of pins and needles up and down her arms reminding her of how long she'd been bound.
Kensi glanced back at Rachel and Nell, noting that both women were still awake but staying silent against the far wall of the room. She thought it might be better that way. She hoped that maybe during a one-on-one conversation with Jesse she could make some progress with him.
"I know you never intended for this all to happen, Jesse. And I know things have gotten much more complicated. But you still have a way out. You haven't killed anyone. And more important, I believe you don't want anyone to get hurt. Jesse, you can make this all stop," Kensi's voice started out soft and turned increasingly persuasive. "You have valuable information on the cartel and the bank robberies. Make contact with Marty. Let him know where we are. And when it comes time I can guarantee we'll speak on your behalf."
Kensi paused, thinking back to the earlier conversation she'd overhead. "A cop is dead? Who was it?"
Jesse looked surprised for a moment, and then nodded. "It was someone named Bennett or Benson. He had information on your cover at the law firm and Mateo knew he was connected to Marty and his cover so they used him to draw Nell out."
Jesse's eyes drifted passed Kensi to settle on Nell, slumped against the wall, the signs of her mistreatment obvious on her face. Kensi stayed silent, hoping that maybe seeing the harm that had come to Nell, had come to a woman he'd been interested in and attracted to, might help sway Jesse.
Kensi watched the emotions shift and pass over Jesse's face. She knew that despite the lies and her perceived betrayal that at least some of what she'd said registered. She couldn't promise him absolution and she was careful not to lie to him again. He'd committed crimes and she knew he would have to pay for them. But there was still the possibility for some measure of redemption.
She thought she might have convinced him, might have won him over. But the uncertainty was slowly replaced with disappointed anger as he shook his head.
"I don't believe you. And I don't have a choice or another way out. Not if I want to keep my parents and my sister safe," Jesse replied firmly.
Kensi felt the weight of disappointment settle in her chest. She understood how Jesse was torn, even sympathized with him. But she still had a mission to complete and people to protect. Rachel and Nell were counting on her to get them out safely. And Deeks was counting on her to make it back to him. She knew that with absolute certainty. And she wasn't going to let them or him down.
"I'm sorry you think that. And I'm just sorry," Kensi said quietly, shifting from one foot to the other. Jesse raised an eyebrow in confusion.
"About what—"
Kensi cut off his question with an elbow to his chest, the air in his lungs leaving his body in a whoosh as he hit the floor. Kensi moved quickly, flipping Jesse over and pinning an arm to his back while she riffled through his pocket for the knife he'd used to cut her bindings. Jesse was just beginning to gasp for breath and struggle against her when she found the knife. She applied pressure to his back with her knee, causing him to grunt in pain and then finally still beneath her.
"Nell, Rachel!" Kensi whispered loudly. The two women jerked forward and Kensi tossed the knife to Nell so she could cut Rachel's bindings loose. Rachel returned the favor to Nell and then Nell threw the knife back to Kensi. Kensi hauled Jesse to his feet, regretting every twitch of her muscles as she was forced to press the blade of the knife against Jesse's throat.
"I knew it had to all be lies," Jesse muttered bitterly. Kensi loosened her grip on his arm a little and glanced at the side of Jesse's face, shaking her head quickly.
"I know you have no reason to believe me, but it wasn't all lies. I want to help you. But I also have a job to do," Kensi insisted. Jesse's face turned dejected and she sighed, knowing she didn't have the luxury of time for emotion. She jerked her head at Rachel and Nell, motioning towards the door.
"Let me try and make sure it's clear. I'll be back, okay?" Kensi whispered. Nell nodded bravely while Rachel stood frozen, her eyes wide with fear. Kensi knew it was dangerous what she was attempting to do. Escape when she didn't know how many men were in the warehouse, where they were, or if there were weapons or cars was an incredibly risky idea. She knew that NCIS would be trying to find them. But she also knew it was her responsibility to try and find a way out and try and minimize the possible harm to Nell and Rachel.
Jesse was pliant against her grip, allowing her to push him through the doorway and into the warehouse. There wasn't a soul in sight and Kensi concluded there were minimal guards in place. Jesse had probably been checking on them out of concern for their welfare rather than a visit allowed by Derek.
Kensi looked around the warehouse, finally seeing several vehicles off to the side. The steady rain still pelted the metal roof of the warehouse, making it difficult to hear. There were offices with doors closed and portable tables with a number of weapons strewn over their surfaces.
Wanting the comfort of something in her hand a little more substantial than a knife, Kensi began to guide Jesse over towards the table. She'd been searching with alert eyes around the warehouse, trying to look in the shadows for movement and trying to listen through the howling storm for sounds when she heard the telltale click of the cocked hammer of a gun.
Reacting instinctively, Kensi whirled towards the sound, taking Jesse with her. The sound had been closer than she'd realized when she was forcefully hit from the side with a series of punches and jabs to her already injured body. She released Jesse, keeping her grip on the knife, flipping the handle so she could strike better, and lashed out with practiced, tight sweeps.
The light in the warehouse was so dim that she couldn't make out how many men might be around her but she realized very quickly that she was outnumbered when another kick came from behind, hitting her in the back, while a fist connected with her jaw. Kensi fell to the ground with a gasp, the knife skittering away as she went to catch herself, her left hand collapsing underneath her as her weight twisted her wrist painfully. She rolled to the side to avoid the foot she saw attempting to connect with her face but when a heavy boot collided with her shoulder, pinning her to the ground, she found she couldn't do much more than struggle against the excessive force keeping her in place.
Kensi allowed a quick and desperate glance back at the room where they'd been held, not sure if she was relieved or worried that the door was shut again. It probably meant Nell and Rachel had been contained. She cursed her failed plan, knowing it had been a risk to try. Hoping it wouldn't result in retaliatory pain for Nell or Rachel, she allowed a moment of fear to overtake her at the thought.
Approaching footsteps slowed to a stop near her and Kensi looked up as a man loomed over her. Even in the barely there light she identified Mateo Contreras from the intel Eric had provided them with. He grinned menacingly as he read the recognition in her eyes.
"Ah, so you do know me, chica. That's not so good for you. And you're proving to be an awfully big handful that we don't really have time for," Mateo admonished, chiding her like a misbehaving child.
"Derek doesn't want her harmed. She's important to Marty, to the cops. She's the best leverage we have."
Kensi felt the wave of gratitude at Jesse's words. He might be a criminal and she might have betrayed him on more than one occasion both in thought and deed. But he still didn't want to see her harmed. And that counted for something. At least to her.
Mateo seemed to weigh Jesse's words. Then he shrugged with indifference. "We still have two more hostages to negotiate with. And this one is proving to be too much of a hassle."
Kensi tamped down her fear. Not for her safety. But she didn't want to be separated from Nell and Rachel. She had to be able to try and protect them. Adopting as submissive an expression and posture as she could, Kensi let her fear color her voice in an attempt to convince Contreras. "Please, I'll be good. I won't cause any more trouble. I promise."
Considering her words for only a split second, Mateo shook his head. "I don't believe you. And I think perhaps a show of force is in order."
Mateo gestured with his hand and she was pulled roughly to her feet. Flanked by two men who held her tight and secure, Kensi tried to resist, but quickly surmised there wasn't much point when the only pain she inflicted was on herself. Mateo reached forward with one hand, gripping her chin and forcing her to look him in the eye.
"I would tell you to pass along a message to your partner, but I don't think you'll get the chance."
He released her chin and then Kensi was bodily lifted and carried towards one of the vans. She struggled as much as her weakened body allowed, tried to kick and lash out with her bare feet. It was a useless struggle though and eventually another solid punch to her stomach had her gasping in pain and seeing waves of black and white, teetering towards unconsciousness. Through her haze she heard tendrils of conversation.
"What do you want us to do with her?"
"Take care of her. Be creative. And dump the body somewhere she'll be found."
Kensi couldn't stop the whimpering that escaped her lips as her hands were bound again, locked in front of her, and she was thrown in the back of the van. The pain from her injuries rolled over her in waves and she tried to grit her teeth against the increasingly throbbing hurt all over her body. She fought to hold on to consciousness despite knowing there would be relief in succumbing to comforting darkness.
But if this would be her last moments on earth she was not about to slip quietly and without a fight into easy oblivion. She wanted the pain, wanted the fierce grip on her anger and despair. The physical agony was nearly overwhelming but it was the memories and the could-have-beens that really pierced her heart and tore at her soul.
Her mother, smiling at her from her hospital bed, her dark eyes lit with love and rimmed with pain and certain regretful knowledge.
Her father, delight lifting his smile as they tramped through the woods and she successfully identified the tracks of the deer they were hunting.
Her world bottoming out under her feet when the MPs appeared at her home.
Diane carrying a birthday cake, covered in pink frosting and seventeen candles, her face happy and her voice delighted as she sang Kensi happy birthday, Cody singing along off key while the General sat off to the side watching with a fond smile.
Seeing Jack for the first time, his chiseled jaw and confidence taking her breath away.
The General's dismissive anger at her engagement, and her hurt and rejected tears.
Saying goodbye to Jack and feeling like a piece of her was going across the world with him.
Waking up alone on Christmas morning, waves of despair over Jack leaving, and knowing she would never be enough for him.
Shaking Sam's hand the first time they met and feeling her answering grin to his wide and friendly smile.
Hugging Callen after he'd been shot, his arms tight bands of steel around her back.
Washing dishes at Dom's house and feeling the utter helplessness at everything she hadn't done and couldn't do.
Meeting the hostile and flippant blue eyes of Jason Wyler, feeling awareness tingle in a way she couldn't explain.
Deeks' hands around her wrists, fingers reaching and grasping for the tightest grip, locking around her painfully and yanking so her arms were nearly pulled from her shoulders, an explosion of fire behind them.
Standing in a hospital, Deeks' badge and watch held tightly in her hands, the cold metal of his watch warming against her skin and knowing that her world had somehow completely altered without her permitting it.
Kissing Deeks for the first time, the real first time, in her apartment in Santa Monica, his mouth hot and insistent and his touch almost needy against her skin.
Seeing Diane again. Cody lifting her up in his strong arms. The General's hand brushing against her hair.
Deeks' arm around her waist. His fingers drifting over her exposed skin. The scruff of his jaw rubbing against her neck. His firm and warm body surrounding her, filling her, cradling her close.
A summer afternoon in the shady backyard of a house, Deeks relaxed against her in a hammock, his attention completely focused on not allowing her to read her book.
Picking out furniture they both liked, testing out a dozen different mattresses at the store to find the perfect padding for their bed.
Decorating a Christmas tree. Allowing herself to hope and plan for a potential future previously thought impossible.
The most impossible image. Deeks, walking ahead of her on the beach, a young girl with long, tumbling blond hair held piggyback against him, her mother's smile and her father's blue eyes startlingly familiar. And a toddler with a mop of messy brown hair and his mother's brown eyes walking alongside them, a hand fisted in Monty's patchy fur as the dog patiently plodded along next to the boy's slow steps. Impossible.
Impossible. Such a powerful word. So finite and resolute.
Kensi thought the world might have stopped spinning but her head was still heavy with aching pain. She fought to hold on, fought to remember why she wanted to keep fighting. Her world tilted without her permission and then gravity and vertigo claimed her with angry demand and she was falling into darkness.
Cold and wet surrounded her like a vacuum and she couldn't breathe. Kensi struggled against the lack of air and the oppressive weight of a tornado of water pushing her down and taking away her feeble attempts of resistance. She fought until her body gave up, unable to keep up with the battle her mind and soul cried for.
Completely against her will she blacked out, sinking into the overwhelming darkness.
"Deeks, wake up, man. We might have something."
Alert within seconds of Sam's words and the shake of his shoulder, Deeks sat up from the couch, scrubbing his face with his hands as he stood. He glanced out the window, seeing the beginning tendrils of light as dawn approached.
Somehow it was now Wednesday morning, almost twenty-four hours since he'd last seen Kensi. His stomach rolled queasily at the thought and he told himself it probably also had something to do with the fact that he hadn't eaten for hours. As if sensing the problem, Callen approached, a large cup of coffee and a box of donuts in his hands.
Continuing to move towards the stairs up to Ops, Deeks took the coffee and a donut with a grateful nod to Callen, noting that Sam merely glanced at the unhealthy food disapprovingly and didn't offer a lecture. Some allowances had to be made during stressful situations.
Knowing the rules about food and drinks in Ops, Deeks quickly chewed and swallowed the donut mostly whole, washing it down with as much hot coffee as he could before he left the cup on the railing outside the room. Entering Ops Deeks immediately searched for Eric, not liking what he saw.
Eric looked beyond exhausted. He was wearing the same clothes from the day before though they actually looked even more creased and rumpled. His eyes were bloodshot and his glasses smudged to the point that he was squinting to see through them. Deeks turned to Hetty, who was watching her lead technical operator with worry she didn't bother to hide. But it was when her gaze turned to him and the deep concern in her eyes turned to unrestrained sympathy that he felt his heart begin to thud painfully.
"What did you find, Eric?" Deeks forced out.
Eric turned a solemn gaze towards the three men in the room, saving his last lingering look for Deeks. Resisting the urge to yell at Eric and everyone to stop treating him like he couldn't handle whatever they had to tell him Deeks took a deep, steadying breath.
"Kaleidoscope got a hit off some unusual activity. Information has been slow coming in thanks to the storm damage, but finally emergency response reports are available. I saw a report that a woman's body was pulled from the L.A. River east of downtown near the Santa Monica freeway overpass. The description matches Kensi," Eric said, his voice quiet.
Deeks sensed Callen and Sam straightening next to him, their posture giving away their tightly controlled emotions while Deeks stayed absolutely still. He blinked a few times but couldn't even process the thought that the person Eric was describing could be Kensi.
"It may not be her. What did the report from emergency response say about the woman?" Deeks asked harshly, wanting hard evidence before he would even entertain the possibility of Kensi's fate.
"I'm still waiting on that. But I did what I could to trace the point of exit to where the woman might have either fallen or been placed in the river. Normally there isn't enough water in the L.A. River to fill a swimming pool but with all the extra water coming down the hills and because the river is mostly concrete lined with sloped sides the amount of debris and flow is exceptionally high."
"Eric, we don't need a lesson on watersheds and flooding. What did you find?" Callen insisted, obviously impatient to hear the whole story. Deeks shared his concern. He wanted to know all the details before he would allow relief or grief to settle over him.
"Right. There weren't any cameras at the location where the body was pulled out. But I followed the L.A. River upstream to find the entry point. I tracked the river backwards under Interstate 10 and Highway 101, east of Elysian Park, crossing under Interstate 5 and north to Griffith Park. I found a traffic camera near Griffith Park at 4:12 a.m. that captured this image," Eric finished, pulling up a dark and grainy video.
Nobody in Ops breathed as the video played out, a white van halting on the bridge overpass, two men sliding open the van's side door and lifting a woman from the back. Although she attempted to struggle her movements were tired and they easily lifted her up and over the concrete railing of the bridge, the woman disappearing from sight.
"That might not be Kensi," Sam was quick to say, shifting his eyes to Eric. "Any details on the van?"
Eric shook his head. "I caught it on a traffic camera a few stops away but the plates had been removed."
"What about the body? Do we know that the woman they pulled out was actually dead?" Callen's voice was almost helplessly desperate at the word dead, his disbelieving eyes demanding answers from Eric.
"I don't know for sure. I'm trying to get a better idea what happened once they pulled her from the river. And Sam's right, it might not be Kensi. The video isn't all that clear—"
"No, it's Kensi."
Deeks felt all the eyes in the room swivel to fall on him at his three quiet and dejected words. He didn't offer up an explanation for how he knew. Whether she was sitting out on a surfboard in the middle of the ocean, across a crowded room or he was following her while storming a building, he would know the shape of her anywhere. And he recognized the skirt and blouse the woman in the video wore as the clothing Kensi had slipped on the morning before.
His brain was numb and his heart ached painfully, his legs unable to hold him up anymore. Deeks leaned forward, using the center console so he wouldn't crumble to the floor.
The silence in the room was almost deafening. Deeks knew without looking that Sam and Callen wanted to object but couldn't find the words. And he could see the sympathy on Eric's face even if he didn't have visual confirmation. But it was Hetty's voice saying his name, steady and comforting at his side, that made him turn his attention towards their boss.
"It's a message to me, to us," Deeks said woodenly, wishing he didn't feel the certainty of his words.
"You mustn't blame yourself, Mr. Deeks."
"Too late for that," Deeks murmured, blinking as he tried not to allow his teammates see the tears in his eyes. "What do we do now?"
What he'd really been asking was how was he supposed to go on, what was he supposed to do without Kensi. It probably wasn't fair to ask Hetty such a desperate and needy question. But something told Deeks that she would understand his loss the most out of all of them. Deeks wasn't completely selfish, he knew losing Kensi would hit the entire team hard. But he was selfish enough to know that he'd lost the most out of all of them.
Hetty laid a comforting hand on his forearm, her fingers pressing gently. "We will determine what exactly happened to Ms. Blye. And we will find out what has happened to Ms. Jones and Ms. Madison. And we will make those responsible pay."
Deeks nodded helplessly, barely registering the heavy hands of Sam and Callen where they squeezed his shoulders. Despite the comfort, and surrounded by the only family he knew, he'd never felt more alone.