Finding Peace
*tear and steam alert*
Elizabeth walked through the house trying to pack for her trip to Vermont the next morning.
Doug's funeral was just a few days away. She secured a substitute for her class so she could head to Charlottes to do whatever she could to help her and Burke family.
She went up to her room pulling a suitcase out from the closet. Tossing it on the floor before she turned around, flopping hard on her bed. Elizabeth rolled over onto her back, pulling out the list of things Jack asked her to bring. Things like his dress shoes, winter coat, socks, as well as civilian clothes. Most importantly his dress uniform for the services. She was now glad he'd taken time many month ago to explain to her in detail what every piece of it was and how it was important.
She took a moment, staring at the picture of the two of them by the bed. Day after tomorrow he would be back by her side. She promised herself to do her best not to complain about how little he'd he had at home. It was better than most of the women were getting. Besides, this visit wasn't about them. It was about Doug and his family.
Her heart broke for the Burkes with every passing moment. She felt guilty for thinking, "Thank goodness it wasn't Jack." She knew on some level she didn't need to feel guilty. It didn't mean she was glad it had been Doug. If she had her way no one would have died. But the world rarely seemed fair and just.
She sat up and looked down the empty suitcase on the floor, triggering a memory from a time where they felt so young, and unaffected by the world's harsh realities.
End of Junior Year…
Elizabeth laid on the bed in Jacks dorm as he packed up from the end of spring term. She had already moved all her things out of her apartment and into her parents brownstone, ready for next year.
"Can you believe it? Next year will be living TOGETHER as a married couple. Isn't that wonderful? No more goodbyes at the end of the night!"
"I can't wait." Jack grinned as he taped another box shut. "I just wish we didn't have to wait through the summer."
"We'll you're the one leaving for training. Twice." Elizabeth said sitting up on the bed with her hands on her hips teasing.
"I know, but I'm doing it for us. The better I do, the more I can provide for our future." She smiled at him to make it clear she understood.
"About that, you okay with all this? The wedding at the Cape, living in the my parents brownstone next year? They promised it will be all ours and they won't drop by unannounced or anything."
Jack walked over and slid next to Elizabeth on the bed holding her in his arms. "I know, and I'm okay with it now."
"You sure? I know you wanted us to stand on our own two feet."
"I do, and we will. Your parents allowing us to stay at the brownstone will make it easier to save money and it allows us both to focus on finishing our studies strong, while being together. It's a great gift. I don't think I could live through another year not being married to you."
"Agreed!" She said giving him a kiss. "Now, about where we'll sleep. We should take a look around when we drop off your boxes later. I think I already know which room I want. I really like the bedroom to the left of the top of the stairs. Its beautiful, has its own bathroom and the windows let in a lot of light. Which bedroom do you want?"
"Wait, what? Aren't we sharing the same room?" Jack asked confused. "I thought that was one of the benefits of this whole marital bliss thing."
"Of course silly." She laughed. "I just wanted your opinion on which room WE should take."
"Oh, good. You scared me for a moment." Jack laughed at himself. "I think that room sounds fine. Honestly I'm good with any room as long as I get to go to sleep and wake up with you in my arms everyday." He leaned in lightly pressing his lips to her temple. She was disappointed at first, hoping for a little more than that. As if reading her mind, he moved his lips down her cheek and over to her lips. Kissing her slow and passionately. Making her whole body yearn for him.
When they finally pulled away they smiled bashfully at one another. "I love you," he whispered.
"I love you too."
Jack got up and went back to packing while Elizabeth watched him intently. Not knowing how she'd handle being away from with from him for most of the summer. She smiled to herself as she got up off the bed.
"What are you doing?" Jack was surprised to turn around and find her curled up in his suitcase giggling.
"I'm coming with you." She playfully looking up at him.
"That's certainly one way to travel." He knelt down to kiss her forehead.
She sat up, still giggling over her joke and at the fact that she could even fit in the suitcase in the first place.
"You know you could come with me to Vermont." He said turning back around.
"In the suitcase?"
"I was thinking by car or train but whatever." He teased. "But really, you could come."
"I know, but I need to see Julie and you need some time with your family before you go off."
"I'll have plenty of time. What I want is to not be away from you." He squatted down kissing his bride to be.
"I'll think about it. I just don't want to take away from your time with your parents and Tommy."
"But you're a part of that family now. In fact, you're my favorite part. Just think about it okay?"
"Okay I will. Now help me out of this thing or I really will be coming with you," she laughed.
Present Day...
"We were so young then, Jack. Little did we know then life was about to smack us hard in the face."
Elizabeth leaded her head back on the bed just as the doorbell went off. She hurried down the stairs. "This better be important," she grumbled.
Opening the door she was greeted by Dottie Avery, the general's wife and head of the family readiness group(FRG).
"Evening Elizabeth. May I come in?"
"Yes of course. How are you Dottie?" She asked as they went to the living room to sit.
"Not bad. I wanted to bring these by for you." She handed her a small plastic bag of rank insignias. "For Jack's dress uniform now that he's a captain."
"Oh thank you! I was wondering how I was going to get these before I left."
"Happy to help."
Elizabeth place them on the coffee table and turned her focus to her guest. "Dottie, I owe you an apology for last night."
"Whatever for?"
"Yelling at you outside of Faiths home." She was embarrassed. "I shouldn't have done that. I was just scared."
"Oh goodness, no harm done at all. I completely understand. If it makes you feel better, you missed the tongue lashing I gave the men for parking there in the first place." Elizabeth laughed. "I've apologized to them as well. It's such a difficult job they have."
Elizabeth agreed. "Dottie, did Bill ever have to do this? Come home during his tour?"
"Yes in fact he's had to do it twice. That's actually the other thing I was hoping to talk to you about. Visits like this are hard. Not only on the solider, but the family as well."
"How so?"
"Bill would come home but it wasn't the same. They're grieving, and know they have to go back very soon. His mind would still partially be on the mission abroad. It took me a while to realize that it had to be that way. It'd hurt to much to settle in back home and then just leave again."
"I guess I understand that."
"Just know that, him wanting to go back and finish what he's started is a good thing. It doesn't mean he wants to leave you. Jack's a strong, dedicated soldier, and from what I can see he's also a loving husband. They can be both, it's just complicated sometimes."
Elizabeth nodded, thinking over the wise woman's words.
….
At the Ramstein Air Base in Germany, Jack sat as still as a statue as he waited for his flight back to the states. He couldn't turn his mind off from the events of the past couple of days. As he attempted to process Burke's death, he wondered what it had been like for Mr and Mrs. Burke that tragic night. To hear a knock at the door only to open it and find two soldiers standing there, ready to deliver such life changing news. He knew a little of the rehearsed speech they had heard.
"Sir, ma'am, the Secretary of the army has asked me to express his deep regret that your son, Douglas Burke was killed serving in Afghanistan. The Secretary expresses his deepest sympathies to your family during this time of loss."
Jack wondered who the soldiers were. It was a tough, depressing job but someone had to do it, and do it well. It's what you do for your fallen brothers and sisters. Jacks current assignment was important too. He was to make sure Burke returned home and was given the respect and honor his sacrifice had earned.
The weight of it all was becoming too much for Jack. He loosened his jacket and grabbed Elizabeth's journal out of his bag. Opening it to where he'd left off before, giving a weak smile as he read her words.
Back then things seemed simple. They were young, and getting ready to start a new life as husband and wife. They knew of the possible complications that could arise in the future, but they had yet to face them. Jack now wondered, would he ever feel normal again. Would he ever feel anything like he did before.
"Captain Thornton?" Jack looked up to find Sergeant Michael Post, the brother of the fallen officer in Shane's company in front of him. "They're ready to move them onto the aircraft. We should head down."
"Of course. Thank you."
Jack and Michael grabbed their things and made their way out to the runway. Walking over to the rear of the large aircraft to stand at attention amongst their fellow soldiers to give a salute to honor the fallen as they were one by one carried onto the aircraft. Four were heading home. Three from Afghanistan, one from Iraq.
Afterwards, Jack and Michael took their seats in the belly of the aircraft, next to their respected soldiers flag draped coffins.
"We'll be in the air soon gentleman." The pilot spoke and the men nodded in agreement.
"Going home, Burke." Jack spoke quietly, placing his hand over the flag. "You're going home." He looked over at Michael who gave him a nod as they buckled up for the flight.
As he sat back, Jack pulled out the journal again. Looking at the date on the next page he sighed. "I miss you dad."
….
Elizabeth set off for Vermont first thing in the morning. She packed Rip and all her stuff in the Jeep and headed north on the clear mountain roads. It was an easy drive, basically a straight shot up the interstate until for the reached the small town where Jack grew up.
She was only a couple of hours out when she stopped at a rest stop to stretch her legs. Opening the back passenger door, she dragged a protesting Rip from his slumber. They walked around the well kept rest area paths leading to a memorial to those who had fought in Korean War. Further in, there was also a spot to remember those who had served their country in other wars who had lived in Vermont.
It was a beautiful spot covered with trees and hand carved benches. She walked up to one of the benches, wiping the snow covered plaque mounted to its back.
"In Memory of Thomas Alan Thornton" it read. "Forever in our hearts"
"I wish you were here, dad. Jack could really use you right now." She stood there at the bench, remembering when they lost him almost 5 years ago. Sometimes, it felt like yesterday.
Summer before Senior Year…
It had been two weeks since the college term ended and Jack and Elizabeth each went home to spend time with their families. Elizabeth took a job at the local school assisting in summer school while Jack prepared for his first of two intensive training camps.
Elizabeth had been enjoying her time off helping Rosie put more of the final touches on her wedding while working out a few more details for her own. Rosie and Lee would be getting married the weekend Jack returned from his first training, while Elizabeth and Jack planned theirs for the week following his last training. Giving them a couple weeks to themselves before heading into their senior years.
"Beth? Beth wake up dear." Elizabeth woke to her mother gently shaking her shoulder.
"Mom what time is it?" she grumbled, rolling away from her mother.
"It's very early in the morning, I'm sorry. My dear something's happened. I need you to be awake now." Grace was stern but with a shakiness to her voice. The sound was so foreign to Elizabeth that she shot up in bed. "Leland called just a few minutes ago..."
"Is Jack okay?" She interrupted Grace and jumped out of bed to grab her phone. Her mother reached out to stop her before she could press send.
"Dear listen, Mr. Thornton was killed in a car accident late last night."
Elizabeth fell to the floor in tears. Her mother held her for a moment before Elizabeth pushed her away and ran to her closet pulling out her suitcase.
"Beth what are you doing?" she asked has Elizabeth began tossing clothes in the suitcase on her bed.
"I need to get to Jack!"
"I know, Rosie's on her way. You two will drive up together now and your father and I will head out soon after."
Before Elizabeth knew it they were were on their way to Vermont. The beautiful summer view of the green mountains was lost on them as all thoughts were on Jack and his family.
Elizabeth tried to calling Jack from the road, but Lee answered instead. He said Jack was with the rest of his family in the den talking with their pastor. Lee had been at the house with his parents since they found out. Answering phones, making food, and helping to arrange rides and places to stay for those traveling in to grieve with the family. The Thornton's were family to Lee, he couldn't be anywhere else.
The women made it to Vermont in record time. Not making a single stop. Elizabeth was fighting her seatbelt before Rosie even parked the car in the Thornton's driveway. Lee saw them and immediately ran off the front porch to greet them.
"So glad you guys are here." Lee's face was tired a red. It was clear he had been crying as he hugged them both.
"How is he?" Elizabeth asked.
"As good as you'd expect. He's been asking about you. I think it made him nervous, you guys driving up after… anyway, he's inside."
Elizabeth went inside leaving Rosie and Lee on the porch. There were people everywhere inside the house. Some family, some friends from church or work.
"Lizzie?" a kind old voice called out to her.
"Grandpa Davis." Elizabeth rushed to the familiar face, Charlotte's father. His arms quickly embracing her.
"Oh Lizzie, I'm glad you're here."
She looked around but found Jack nowhere. "Grandpa, where's Jack?"
"I sent him upstairs a little while ago. We got the call late last night and he hasn't slept a wink. You know him though, he was down here trying to help any way he could. He just needed rest," he sighed. "He hasn't cried yet. Too busy taking care of everyone else. Like his Mama."
"Where are Charlotte and Tommy?"
"Charlotte is in her room with her sister and Tommy left about an hour ago to take a walk in the woods. I sent a cousin and Dougie Burke with him so he wouldn't been alone."
"Oh, okay. Is there anything I can do now?"
"Yeah. Go on up and see that boy of yours. You know the way I suspect." He gave a weary smile and sent her on her way.
Elizabeth slowly climbed the stairs taking in all the happy pictures filling the stairwell. It wasn't that long ago she did the same thing at New Years. "How could so much change so fast?" she thought.
As she reached Jacks door, she wasn't sure what to do. Should she knock, or should she just go in? She decided to just go on in. It's what she would want Jack to do if the situation was reversed and besides, they'd be married soon enough. At least that was the plan. She decided right there not to push Jack if given everything he needed to wait on the wedding. She knew they loved each other, that was enough was her.
Jack was laying on his back with his eyes closed. He hadn't even made it completely onto the bed as he had one foot still planted on the floor.
"Jack, babe?" She called to him quietly, not wanting to wake him if he was asleep.
Jack opened his eyes and reached for her immediately. Elizabeth ran to him, holding him as he began crying in her arms. His person was there, he could let go.
A few days later, the family and friends gathered at the church and cemetery for Mr. Thornton's service. It had been a beautiful tribute to a wonderful and honorable husband, and father.
At the cemetery a prayer was given, taps was played and after a gun salute his flag was presented to his family.
One by one the crowd around the grave disappeared till only the three Thornton's remained. Charlotte stood like a statue, clinging tightly to her husband's flag. Her son's standing on either side, did their best to stay strong for their mom.
Twenty paces behind stood Elizabeth, Lee and Rosie. Feeling like they'd been pulled out of life as they knew it and placed in some tragic movie. But this was real life, and it shattered their hearts.
Elizabeth felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked back to see Jack's grandfather standing with them.
"I wanna thank you kids for being here. Means a lot to know Jarricks got good people around him."
Elizabeth hug the old man. He held her tight, giving her a kiss on the top of her head. Without another word he walk towards his daughter and grandsons. As they turned to head toward to car, Grandpa Davis took Mrs. Thornton's arm from Jack. Nodding him over towards Elizabeth and their friends.
Jack slowly walked towards them running his fingers anxiously through his hair. Elizabeth ran to him, meeting him halfway. She couldn't be apart from him another moment.
She wrapped her arms around him, holding him as tight as she could. Lee and Rosie joined them giving Jack a big group hug.
Present Day...
Elizabeth stood there for a moment remembering her father-in-law. She said a prayer for the Burkes and Jack before headed back to the Jeep.
….
At the Thornton home, Tom sat in his mom's living room. He had taken the first flight he could get once he found out about Doug. He'd spent the better part of the night before at the Burkes home doing whatever he could to help. Now he had to take a break to focus on school. It was the last thing he wanted though. Memories of spending time with his childhood best friends swarmed about. Making it impossible to deal.
He look up when he heard a car pull into the drive. He stood, placing his laptop aside just as the door opened. His mom's dogs rushing to greet the visitor.
"Hey sis." He tiredly said as Elizabeth entered.
"Tom." She hugged him tightly. "How are you holding up?" She asked seeing his puffy tired eyes.
"Been better, I guess. I spent the morning at Burkes. Mom's still there."
"Okay. What can I do for you?" She said petting the dogs so they'd leave her be. Rip trotted right off to what during the last visit had become his pillow by the wood stove, soon join by Mountie and Bella.
"I'm fine, really. Mom said to order pizza later for dinner and she'd meet us back here."
"Sounds good. We can go grab it together?"
"Sure." He gave her a weak smile. "Hey, want help unloading the car?"
"That would be great." She hugged him again as they walked out to the car.
"Mom said you and Jack should take the loft room above the garage."
"Oh, that's nice of her. It's not rented out?"
"Na. Not this week. It's been going well for her though. Its pretty popular on airBnB with the ski resorts nearby and all."
They grabbed all the bags out of the car and headed up the garage stairs. What was once the empty space where Jack hung a hammock for them was now an elegant farmhouse styled studio apartment. Wood floors, large feather bed and a beautiful gas fireplace.
"Wow!" Elizabeth gasped. "It was rented out last time I was up so I hadn't seen the finished look."
"Yeah. It's a lot different than when you two trouble makers sneaked up here years ago huh?" Tom teased.
"You knew about that?" She covered her face in embarrassment.
Tom let out a big laugh, which he immediately felt guilty for. "Yeah well, I wasn't as asleep as you two might have thought."
"I see." She smiled sympathetically at him. "Tom, It's okay to laugh a little."
"Maybe." He sighed. "You'd think I'd know how to navigate when someone you care about dies but really, I don't have a clue."
"It's never easy." He nodded. "May I ask, why didn't Julie come with you?"
"I told her not to. She has classes."
"So do you."
"Yeah well, I'm a big boy. I can do this on my own." He stood there running his hands through his hair, same way Jack did when he was discouraged or anxious. Elizabeth could tell he regretted telling Julie not to come.
"You could call her and tell her to come," she suggested.
"Na. Not after the fight we had over her not. She probably doesn't want to hear from me right now anyway." He sighed again, this time harder. "I'll let you get settled in okay? I think I'm gonna rest a bit." Elizabeth nodded and let him head back downstairs. The past few days were weighing heavily on him.
Once Tom was back at the main house, Elizabeth pulled out her phone with a thought in her mind.
"Julie? Its me. I have a plan…"
….
Jack's plane landed at Dover Air Force Base in Delaware 9 hours after it left Germany. When it was time, Jack and Michael exited the rear of the plane to join the other soldiers waiting to pay respects. Each of the four men were carefully carried from the aircraft and taken to be prepared for their journeys home.
"Michael?" Jack called. "Good luck on the rest of your trip."
"You too Jack. Sorry to meet like this, but it was still nice to meet you."
"You too."
The two men said their goodbyes as Jack went to check in and find where he was to stay for the night. The mortuary officer came out a little later and informed Jack that Doug would be ready to leave in the morning. Jack thanked the officer and went to check into his hotel for the night.
After grabbing a quick bite to eat Jack sat on the bed, staring at nothing for over an hour. He was lost again in his own mind. Reliving the mission that lead to this moment. When he couldn't take it anymore, he picked up the phone to call Elizabeth. Thinking to himself how he should've just called her in the first place. But he felt exhausted and lost.
"Hello?" Elizabeth's sweet soft voice brought a tear to his eye. She was his peace from the storm he was in. This was just what he needed.
"Hey, it's me."
"Jack! How are you? Where are you?"
"I'm good. Made it to Dover in one piece. They said I should be on an afternoon flight tomorrow to Burlington. Tell me, how are you?"
"Doing alright. I'm at your moms right now with Tom. Julie is flying in in the morning."
"How's Tom? He handling everything okay?"
"He's hurting, not saying much. I think Julie being here will be good. He told her not to come and then they fought about it so I called her and told her to come."
Jack let out a small, weak laugh. "I thought we weren't going to meddle in our siblings relationship?" He teased. "Wouldn't this classify as meddling sweetheart?"
"I didn't meddle!" She joked offensively. "Besides, they needed it."
"Fair enough. Glad you're there for them."
"I am too. We'll have to make sure you and Tom get some time together while you're here."
"Okay. I won't have much time though."
"We'll have enough, and it's important."
"You're right." He sighed. "I can't wait to see you, beautiful. I just need to be with you right now." Jack rubbed his forehead with his free hand. Yearning for his wife, wanting to feel some sort of normal again. He hope having her by his side would do that.
"I can't wait to see you too." She wiped away a rouge tear. "I've missed everything about you. I just want to feel your arms around me again. I need to see you to know you're really okay."
Jack's face broke into a small smile. "Well, I won't be letting go of you as long as I can help it while I'm back."
She giggled. " Sounds like a wonderful plan."
….
The next morning Jack reported back in to Dover, fully dressed in a clean combat uniform. He was given detailed instructions on how to perform his duties as one of the fallen's escorts. When the time came, he and the other men lined up outside to render honors as each of the fallen beginning the next leg of their journey home.
When it was Jack's turn, he stood at the back of the van that was transporting them to the air port to render the honors as Burke coffin, which was now covered in a protective white cardboard, was placed into the back. His stomach tightened. This was hard.
Before he closed the back door of the vehicle he laid his land on Burke, sucking in a deep breath. "Let's go home bud."
…..
Elizabeth was standing near baggage claim in the Burlington Airport., watching all the happy travelers connect with their loved ones. She took another look at her watch. In a few hours, Jack would be with her.
"Hey sister!" Julie's voice cut through the small, noisy airport.
"Julie!" Elizabeth called out across the room. "So glad this worked out!" She hugged her sister tightly.
"I know. Its times like these I'm very grateful for all Dads success. I mean really "Hey Dad can I use the company jet?" and he says "sure." I'm telling ya, this is great. I was prepared to be on standby forever."
"I know, it's not like we've ever taken advantage of it either."
"This was certainly the occasion if ever there was one. Are you sure Tom wants me here though?" Julie said as they ventured out with her suitcase into the cold Vermont air towards the parking garage.
"He does. He's just too stubborn to say it right now."
"Of course. Did you tell him I was coming?"
"No… I figured he'd get less mad at me for going behind his back if he was looking at your beautiful face." Julie laughed at her sister thought process. "So when we get to the house, look cute for my sake okay?"
"Look cute, got it!" They put Julie's luggage in the back of the Jeep and started their 30 minute drive toward the house.
"Hey sis." Tom called up from his perch in the living room without looking up, still plugging away at his studies.
"Hey sweetie," Julie spoke nervously.
Tom jerked his head up, surprised to be looking into the eyes of his girlfriend.
"Jules? What on earth?" He jumped up.
"Elizabeth called and we made a plan." Tom turned to look a Elizabeth, shock still apparent on his face. "Don't get mad at her I was debating doing this anyway. She just made the decision easier."
"I'm not mad." He reached to take Julie's hand to pull her close. He turned to Elizabeth and mouthed, "thank you".
Elizabeth left to give them some privacy. She walked into the kitchen to grab some more coffee and saw Charlotte sitting at the bar reading the paper.
"The boy take the surprise well?" She asked with a weak grin. Elizabeth answered with a smile. "Good."
"Mom, you okay? You didn't get in till late last night." She took a seat next to her mother in law.
"Yes. I'm okay I suppose. Didn't sleep well last night is all. Kept thinking about Patricia." Elizabeth nodded. "I'm not sure how much help I can be to a woman who just lost her son, when I'm sitting there thinking how grateful I am that it wasn't mine."
"I understand, but I'm sure you're a great comfort to Mrs. Burke right now. You've been friends for years right?"
Charlotte nodded as she took another big sip of coffee. "Their whole family was there for us when we lost Tom. Life really doesn't make sense sometimes. So, how much longer till Jack is here?"
….
A couple hours later, Jack's plane touched down in Burlington. He waited anxiously for the funeral director to meet him. He was so close to Elizabeth now, the anticipation was eating at him.
"Jack? Is that you?" An older gentleman called out to Jack.
"Mr. Reed? Hello sir." He extended his hand to the older man.
"I heard you'd be the one bringing Doug home. How are you?"
Jack took in a deep breath at the question. Not sure how to answer. "I'm… okay."
Mr. Reed nodded. "Well, welcome home. You here long?"
"No sir, only about 48 hours. Then I return to my unit."
Mr. Reed nodded again slowly. "Well, let's get going then. Don't want to keep you from your family."
"Thanks." Jack moved to the side to render honor again as Burke was placed into the funeral homes van.
The drive wasn't too long, for which Jack was thankful for. He'd known Mr. Reed most of his life. They attended the same church while Jack was growing up and Mr. Reed had been a great help when Jack's father passed. However Jack wasn't in the mood to catch up or to have small talk. Something Mr. Reed seemed mostly willing to comply with.
"I saw your wife yesterday." The older man said, effectively gaining Jack's attention. "Real special young lady you've got there."
"She's the best."
"You guys have been apart a while now, huh?"
Jack sighed. "Yes we have."
"Well, try to enjoy this time. Even under the circumstances." Jack nodded.
They pulled into the drive of the old, well kept victorian style funeral home. Jack felt his mouth and throat dry up. He hadn't been to this place since his father died. He hoped never to have to come back.
Once inside the funeral home, Jack made sure everything was set for visiting hours later that evening as well as the transportation for the funeral the next day. Being more than ready to leave, he said his goodbyes and thank you's to the staff and headed out to the wrap around porch to wait for Elizabeth. He leaned against the outside wall, saying a prayer to God for strength and peace. "Help me out here God. I'm feeling broken and lost. Help me to put some of this aside and take the time to be with my wife and family. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well."
"Jack?" a soft voice called out. Jack quickly turned around, not believing his ears. Yet there she was, as beautiful as ever. His Elizabeth.
He jumped clear over the railing off the porch, taking large strides through the snow to get to her. He wasted no time pulling her firmly to his body.
"It's really you," he whispered as he held her. "Elizabeth, I need you so much right now."
"I'm here babe." She leaned back slightly, giving him a soft tender kiss on the lips. Oh how she'd been waiting months to do that. It felt amazing, just how she dreamed it would. She pulled back, smiling warmly as she look deep into his dark, deep brown eyes.
Gazing back at her, his hands moved up to cupped her beautiful face. Tears filling both their eyes. There was so much he wanted to say to her. He'd been waiting so long for a moment like this. Now that it was here, he was speechless. All he could think about was how badly he wanted to kiss her.
"Jack, kiss me." He grinned at her seeming ability to read his mind as he leaned in for a kiss. Oh did he ever!
They grasped tightly onto each other as they shared a kiss so passionate, Elizabeth could feel her legs tremble beneath her. Jack pulled back just enough to wipe away the tears running down Elizabeth flushed cheeks.
"You are so beautiful," he whispered. He wrapped himself around her, holding her so tightly that the cold winter air could find no space between them. His kisses became grew more demanding yet so tender as she melted into him matching his intensity with her own. Both wanted nothing more than to feel apart of each other again.
"How did I survive 7 months without you," Elizabeth gasped, catching her breath.
"I was thinking the same thing." Jack laughed slightly. He was starting to feel more like himself now that Elizabeth was by his side. "Come on, let's get out of here." He grabbed his bags and they walked hand in hand to the Jeep.
"You want to drive or should I?" she asked.
"I'd love to, but why don't you for now. My inner clock is kind of messed up at the moment."
"Okay." She smiled as he opened her door for her before going around to the other. "Here, I got you a coffee from that place you always go to when we're up visiting."
"The Village Cup?" Jack took the cup and inhaled its fresh rich sent. "Uh that's heavenly." He squeezed her hand and took a sip.
"Better than what's at base camp Eagle?" She laughed.
"Much better." He leaned over to give her another kiss. Slowly working her lips apart causing her to moan with delight as she tasted the hot caramel on his tongue.
"I love you," they said together with a smile.
"So this is the new sound system huh?" Jack pointed towards the Jeeps dash.
"Yup! I sent you a picture didn't I?"
"You did but if I'm being honest, when I've looked at that picture, I've mostly been looking at you." He said with a guilty look.
"Ah, I get it. Priorities," she teased.
"Exactly." His grin, caused her to giggle. He loved that sound. "Mind if I test it out?"
"All yours big boy!"
Jack turned on the music. His eyes widened as the first song began to play. "Is this the cd I left for you when I deployed?"
"It is." She gazed lovingly over at him. "I made a copy for the house but other than that it's never left the car. I love it, Jack. You've taken such good care of me even being away." She leaned over to capture his lips with hers, taking advantage of the time alone while she could. The hunger she felt for him sent a chill down her spine making her shiver, which Jack could feel on his lips.
"Here." He reached for the heat buttons on the dash. "You're shivering, let's turn up the heat."
Elizabeth brushed a few stray hairs back behind her ear. "Not sure turning up the heat will help with those shivers. But I may need some chapstick if we keep kissing like this." She blushed, biting her bottom lip.
Jack laughed, knowing exactly what was going on. It thrilled him to have that effect on her again. He'd missed showing her his love and feeling hers in return. Over the next two days, he hoped to show enough for her to cling to till he could return for good.
"Elizabeth, I'm sorry this is going to be so short. And on top of that you sort of have to share me with my family and with the services and all I…"
"Jack, it's okay really." She squeezed his hand. "Given everything that's happened, I'm happy for even a moment with you."
Jack nodded, thankful as always for her understanding. He looked back toward the victorian house, thinking again about the Burkes and how later today he'd have to face them.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She pulled his hand to her lips for a kiss.
He let out a hard breath. "Maybe later? I feel like I haven't been able to escape it the last couple of days. Right now, I just want to enjoy being with you as much as I can." He lifted her hand to his lips, returning her kiss.
"Okay." She gave a soft smile. "Well let get you to the house. I don't know who's more anxious to see you. Mom or Tom," she joked as she pulled out of the parking lot.
Before long Elizabeth turned off the main road onto the long snowy drive toward the Thornton country home.
Once parked, Jack quickly made his way over to Elizabeth's side. He opened her door and held out his hand to help her out.
"I've missed this." She beamed.
"Missed what?"
"How much of a gentleman you are."
"Oh I don't know. Would a gentleman do this?" He placed his hands on her hips and nudged her back against the car, kissing her again.
"To his love, yes." Elizabeth smiled. Once he grabbed his bag, she took his hand in hers and led him back toward the garage.
"Where are we going?" Jack asked as he flung his duffle over his shoulder.
"Your mom has us up in the loft now that it's finished. She thought we might like the privacy."
"She was right about that." Jack pulled her against him hard. Feeling like he'd never get enough of her touch as he kissed her again. His tongue smoothly sliding passed her lips, revisiting all his favorite spots. The chaos of the world was falling away fast as he found his peace again in her.
"Hey Romeo!" Tom called from the porch. "Would ya hurry up? The rest of us want to see you too," Tom laughed, enjoying the opportunity to mess with his big brother.
"And there goes my peace…" They laughed shaking their heads.
The family enjoyed the afternoon together, catching up on life as well as sharing with Jack what it had been like at home since the news of Burke's death came in. Jack did his best to answer their questions about that day without scaring them too much.
The whole time they sat there on the couch, Elizabeth never let go of his hand. She held it in her lap and snuggled in close. As he shared about the mission, she held on tighter. Not because she was scared, but to give him strength and reassurance as he spoke about one of the hardest days of his life.
After an early dinner of one of Charlotte's crock pot creations, they all got dressed to head out for calling hours for the Burkes at the funeral home. Jack in his dress uniform and Elizabeth in a fitted navy blue dress. One of Jack's favorites. It hugged her ever curve perfectly.
Jack had encouraged his family to arrive to the funeral home early. He wanted to hand over Doug's personal effects and the letters from the other members of their unit without an audience.
The Burkes were loving and kind as always. Showing no hints of anger or resentment towards Jack. Unfortunately that didn't stop him from feeling all those things and more within himself.
When the friends and family began to enter, Jack and Elizabeth stood off to the side, not wanting to be in the way. Jack would have been content to go completely unnoticed, but that didn't seem possible. A number of people approached him. Thanking him from seeing Doug home, and letting him know that they were happy he was alright.
As they stood there, Jack could feel his heart pounding and his chest tighten. He stood there watching as the line of people entered to pay their respects, and tearfully say goodbye to Doug. When it became too much, he let go of Elizabeth's hand and made a brisk exit out the side door.
"Jack, what's wrong?" Elizabeth called out, following him outside.
"I can't breathe," he snapped with frustration, losing his collar and he stood out in the snow. "I shouldn't even be here."
"Why do you say that?" Her voice quivering with concern.
"What good does it do them to have me here? The officer who failed to keep their son safe."
"Oh Jack," Elizabeth cried.
"I'm standing there, alive and he's gone. It's like I'm mocking them. I just, I can't do this!" He turned to go back to the car but stop when he heard Mr. Burke call out to him from the porch.
"Jack wait!" He called out as he ran to meet him. He'd watched Jack throughout the night, knowing how hard this would be on him too. When he saw Jack leave, Mr. Burke was immediately concerned.
"I'm sorry, sir." Jack said. Everything in his body wanting to run as far he he could.
"Jack I heard what you just said. I need you to listen to me, ok? This is very important." He held Jack's arms, making it impossible for Jack not to face him. "Nothing that happened over there is your fault. Our son signed up to go and fight for his country and for the lives of those in need. There is no "safe" in that. He knew the risks as you do. So did we."
Jack looked down avoiding making eye contact, clenching his jaw.
"Jack, I've known you your whole life. You're a good man. You were a good friend to our boy. He'd tell us all the time how lucky he felt to serve with you. Listen, we hold you responsible for nothing, and we're glad you're here. We're glad you're okay."
With that he hugged Jack tight, hoping at least some of his words would sink in.
"Would you come back in with me?" Mr. Burke asked. "Leland and his wife just arrived. I know they'll want to see you."
Jack swallowed hard and nodded. Elizabeth ran up taken his hand in hers. He held it tight, almost too tight but she didn't care.
"I'm right here Jack. I won't leave your side, okay?" He nodded, giving her hand a kiss as they walked back in.
The rest of the night went better than it started. Still hard, but Jack was able to power through. When everyone had left but a few close friends and family, the Thornton's said their goodbyes, promising to be at the church early the next day to help with anything that needed to be done.
Once they returned home, Elizabeth announced that she was feeling rather tired from the day. Jack polite excused them to the loft for the night. Promising his mother they'd join the rest of the family for brunch in the morning.
In their room, he took off his tie and uniform jacket, placing it back on the hanger for the next day. Jack turned to face his wife and smiled. She took his breath away. They were finally alone, but she seemed distant.
"You look amazing tonight, sweetheart."
"Thanks," she replied, but still seemed lost in another world.
"That was nice seeing Rosie and Lee," Jack continued.
"Yes it was." Elizabeth was starting to worry him. She tried to act normal, but inside she was fighting a battle with her own fears. She held strong for Jack, but the whole night she kept thinking "what if it had been Jack? What if one day it was?" She knew not to borrow trouble. That a person could make themselves sick and crazy in the lan of "what if?", but it was hard not to think on such things now.
"I forgot to tell you, you did a great job with the uniform." Jacks words snapped her out of her worrying. He stood there noticing every detail, pin and medal in its proper place. Included his new rank insignia.
"Really? I was hoping so. I mean you've walked me through it before but I've never had to put it all together alone."
"It's perfect. Everything polished and in place." She gave him a half smile as she walked past him towards her suitcase. "Hey?" He spoke gently grabbing her hand. "Thank you for standing by me tonight."
"Always," she whispered staring lovingly at her husband.
He pulled her to him, wrapping his strong arms around her slender form. With their foreheads resting together and eyes closed, they took the moment to enjoy the comfort of simply being alone. Standing close enough to feel each beat of the others heart.
She felt his fingers make their way up her back, stopping at the top of her dress as he took hold of zipper and began slowly undoing it.
Elizabeth inhaled sharply as the cold air hit her now exposed back. She opened her eyes to met his penetrating gaze as her the dress slid down her shoulders and onto the floor.
Jack's muscles tensed as her hands ran down his shoulders to his waist, grasping the bottom of his dress shirt pulling it free. He let go of her long enough to undo its buttons. Discarding the shirt with her dress. In a matter of moments every piece of fabric separating them laid in a pile on the on the floor.
They needed to be together. To feel as close as possible. To be one. All that matter right then was each other. He lifted her up and moved them toward the bed in one swift motion. Never allowing his lips to move away from hers for long.
Jack laid her back on the bed, taking his time to admire and love her as his lips and finger tips traveled along her body.
Elizabeth tried to breathe in deeply as he continued his way up towards her neck, but no matter how hard she tried, she was left breathless. The feeling of his hot skin against hers flooded her senses as every part of her began to responded to his affections.
It was all Jack could do to hold it together. The distance, time apart and recent tragedy made his need for her unbelievable. The desire running through him was like a charge ready to explode. Finally he reached her mouth again. Kissing her slowly, wanting to taste and savor all of her. She tasted like honey, sweet and wonderful.
Elizabeth needed to feel more of him. She felt the need to be a part of him the same way she needed air. Not able to wait any longer, she arched her body to meet his. Kissing him with a frantic hunger that he was happy to reciprocate.
They loved each other completely, holding nothing back. Its was better than anything they could have ever imagined. In that moment, Jack finally felt at home.