Chapter 25: I've lost it.

Max POV

I hear lots of screaming and commotion outside. I walk up to the front of the store to see what was going on. I saw Rae fighting with her ex-boyfriend, and it looks pretty bad. When I see him actually hit Rae I barge outside like an idiot.

"What the heck do you think your doing?" I say and grab his arm before he can hit Rae again.

"Little girl, get out of my way. Before I hit you too." He snaps.

"I would love to see you beat me up." I retort and let go of his hand. I automatically throw my hands up to block the punch I knew was coming.

"Beginner's luck." He spits. I see Rae pull out a phone behind her jacket and I know she's calling the police.

"Nope. Try super awesome butt-kicking prettier-than-you girl." I say, and dodge another punch.

"I'm getting bored." I say and grab his arm, twist it behind his back, bring him to the ground, and place one knee on his back. He struggles, but I've got him good. He manages to get out and lands a punch on my stomach, and I hit my head against a gas pump. Not my baby. No. Rae gasps as she takes in what I realized. I jump back as I hear sirens pull up. I wrap my hands around my stomach, and I'm scared to death. Both Rae and I explain to the police what happened, mostly Rae. After the police take whatever-his-name-is off in their cruiser Rae turns to me with panic written all over her face.

"Max. I'm so sorry. You should've not interfered. It was my battle, and I could've handled it just fine."

"Obviously. Look at you you're shaking from fear. And you're right I shouldn't have interfered... You should've kicked his fat butt to next year for hitting you!" I yelled. She sat there silently with tears running down her face. Great.

"Rae, I'm sorry. It's those crazy pregnant lady hormones. You kind of can't control them." I joke. After that she cried worse. How do people deal with all this? I'm used to my suck-it-up-and-move-on- flock.

"You don't need to be sorry. In fact, you should call in and say you had an emergency and have to go. I won't mind. You need to rest. Can I get you something to drink?" She wouldn't shut up until I put my hand over her mouth.

"I just need to rest for about 10 minutes or so then we will see what happens after that. I'm just going to lay down in the break room. Ok?" I say.

"That's fine." She says and wipes some tears away. I'm stopped as I walk in.

"You've got blood running down the back of your head and ... down your jeans?" She asks. I'm just as confused as she is. I turn around and examine the front and back of my jeans. Horror fills my every sense.

"Rae, give me your phone. I need to call my brother." I demand and slouch down to the ground. She quickly hands it to me and I dial the number. (I can't call Fang because he is at work he got a new job.)

"Iggy. I need you to come pick me up. Now." I say and hang up the phone. Only a few minutes later I hear that old truck coming down the hill (Steve bought a new car, and gave us his truck so we wouldn't have to walk to work. But I still do.). In case you've not caught on. Normally, when you have bleeding during your pregnancy it means you've had a miscarriage. I couldn't take that. Ig pulls up and jumps out the truck.

"What happened?" He demands, and helps me up.

"I-I- m-my boyfriend-." Rae stutters.

"No time for explanations." I say and get in the truck. Iggy drives me to the Doctor's office, I sign in, and take a seat by Iggy. He holds one of my hands, and strokes it with the other to calm me.

"Mrs. Ride." A nurse comes out and calls my name. I stand up, and reach back to grab Iggy's hand. I don't care who it is right now, I just need someone to hold onto. The nurse leads us to a room, and tells us the doctor will be in shortly.

"Hello, Max. How are you?" Dr. Riley Bennet asks. I stand up to show him my jeans.

"Oh. Let's get you an ultrasound and see what's going on." He says. I lay down and lift my shirt. Iggy turns his head away. Psst. He she me in a bikini. What is a little tummy going to do ?

"Who do we have with us today, Max?" Riley asks.

"I'm her brother. My name is Iggy." Iggy tells him; he knows I'm not in a talking mood. After 15 minutes there's still nothing to be found. Riley looks up at me with a grave look on his face.

"I'm truly sorry, Max." is all He says. That's all it takes for me to burst up, and out of the room with Iggy right behind me. I run to the car, then crouch right beside it, and burst out crying.

"It's all my fault!" I cry into Iggy's shoulder. He's holding me and tries to make sense of everything I'm mumbling.

"Max. Let's get home." Is all he says to me. He steadies me and helps me into the car. He doesn't say anything to me. Iggy can be quite understanding sometimes. We get home, and I demolish the pregnancy test. I throw it in the garbage, and go to the attic for some alone time. It's not really like and attic more like a top most bedroom. I press my ear against the floor and I can hear what's being said below.

"Fig, come get your lunch." Iggy says.

"Coming." He says and makes little airplanes noises until he gets to the table.

"Roger. Roger. Air craft Figgy is making a landing to get more fuel." Ig jokes.

"Thanks Uncle Iggy."

"Eat up. After you finish eating I'm taking you and the others to the park."

"Really?"

"Yes, but you've got to eat every last bite."

"Where's Momma?" He asks.

"Momma is out." He says. I hear the oven beep and a herd of feet coming the hall.

"Did you make cookies?" Gazzy asks.

"Yes. Come and get some. Watch Fig, I'll be right back." Iggy's voice disappears. Soon the stairs that lead to the attic were creaking.

"Max?" Iggy asks and flicks his flashlight on.

"Here." I say. He walks over to me and sits down.

"I brought you 2 blankets, 2 pillows, a cup of milk, and some chocolate chip cookies. Oh and a flash light. Just in case." He says.

"Thanks." I say and he wraps a blanket around me.

"I'm taking the kids out. Do you need anything?"

"No. But what time does Fang get off work?" I ask and lean my head over in his shoulder.

"About 30 minutes to a hour. Depends on how many people are coming in."

"UNCLE IGGY! I'M DONE!" Fig calls out. We both give a little laugh, he gives me a shoulder hug, and then he leaves. I thank him and spread out one of the blankets for me to lay on and then throw the other one aside. I lay in silence thinking about the life my lost child might have had. I think about, if it was going to be a girl, how she would have pretend tea parties, how she'd have daddy take her to the pretend ball, and dance upon his shoes. If it was going to be another boy, how Fig would teach him all sorts of 'secret' boy stuff, and he would maybe learn to cook like Iggy. How either way that baby would be perfect and adored, and most importantly mine. At that thought I lost it again. I don't hear anything until I feel Fang's arms wrapped around me pulling me up to his shoulder. I grab the back of his shirt and cry into it.

"Tell me what happened. All I was told is that it's not good." Fang said with a shaky voice.

"I-I...I lost our b-baby. This guy elbowed me in the stomach." I cry lowly. He puts his hand where our baby should be as if to check to see if I was lying. I feel Fang's hot tears run down my arm.

"Max?" He says in a low tone and squeezes me tight.

"I'm sorry. It's all my fault."

"Not everything is your fault. It's that frickin' jerks fault. Why did he elbow you?" He pets my hair. I shake my head in a no to let him know I don't want to talk about it.

"But why? Why us? All of our lives we've had the crappy hands dealt to us. Why us?" I shake all over. He loosens his grip on me and backs up so we can catch our breaths. We stand up and I grab him back in a hug. He hugs back and rubs my back gently.

"I'm not going to you everything is ok, because it's not. But I'm going to tell you that it doesn't matter what happens I'm here."

"Always?" I question as we stay in a half-dance.

"Always. You see this wedding ring? This means even if it kills me, I will be here next to you." He whispers in my ear and kisses me gently on my lips. We continue to sway until I stop crying.

We go downstairs just in time to see Iggy and Rosetta pull in with the rest of the flock. I quickly compose myself and wait for Fig to run into my arms. In fact, I don't even wait for him to come in; I go outside and get him out of the car. I hug him tight. I get him ready for bed and he's asleep in no time. I slip off to the side of the bed and watch him sleep. I feel tears falling down my cheeks and a stabbing pain in my heart. He turns over and sleeps on his stomach just like I do. I stroke his hair for I have no idea how long. All I know is Fang came and got me. I insisted on staying a few more minutes, and he sat beside me. Sometime after 12:15 Fang drags me from Fig's room.

"Good night." Is all he says to me. Really? Every other time he could come up with a speech that would stop Shakespeare in his tracks, but when I really need to hear that he loves me all that he says is 'Good night.'?

"I love you, Max. I really do." He says as if he is reading my mind.

"I love you too." I crawl in bed next to him and I feel as if I'm in bed with a stranger. At least until his warm, olive arm wraps around me. I cling tightly to him to make sure he's really there. I turn over (still in his arms) and look at his sleeping face. He looks...relaxed. I'm happy for him, but when I blink I get scared because I open my eyes and see Fang's endless pits he has for eyes staring right back at me.

"I'm really sorry." He whispers.

"Sh." I say and put a finger over his lips.

"Just hold me." I say and scoot closer to him. He wraps his arms around me. I fall asleep with his warm breath coming down on me.