Chapter 25 - Fishsticks

"Sixteen squared!"

"Huh? T-two hundred and fifty six…"

Alexandra nodded, slurping her smoothie loudly. "All right. You're paying attention."

I'm going to take a wild guess and say I'm asleep. Then where does she actually get all this food? Hang on a sec, is she trying to change the topic?! "The fuck have you been?!"

She put up her hands hurriedly in defense. "Hey! I'm not the dumbass throwing away precious sleep."

"I don't have time to sleep!" I retorted, slightly ticked off. It wasn't like I was the one casually slurping on the smoothie.

"Oh yeah? You spent three hours last night waving a sword around!"

I clenched my fists defensively. "It's called training."

"Oh yes, this 'training' pays off oh, I don't know, when you fall asleep when some random assassin tries to kill you!"

Scowling, I looked away. "Well, the hell do you want now?"

"Does it kill to have a nice chat once in a while?"

"Yes."

"Oh whatever. I'll cut to the chase. You're being too obvious," she stated.

"Obvious," I repeated flatly. "Explain."

She paced back and forth, and I anticipated a lecture. "You're responsible for plot changes, no matter how major or minor. But people are starting to notice - 'oh look an issue! I bet Serena knows the answer!'. Subtlety! Take...Xanxus. You just flat out told him what he needed to do! When his insane domination plan doesn't work, who do you think is going to take the short of the stick?"

I coughed. "Well, you see, after the coup d'état, I kinda read his diary. The guy isn't sane. What shit has the guy been drinking?"

"Tequila," she replied, unentertained. "Xanxus is hot. Cut him some slack."

"...You are honestly disturbing."

"Oi! Don't talk to me with that tone. You've probably had at least one fantasy about...about Bel...or Dino – Hibari and Mukuro...and..."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP. DON'T GIVE YOUR SICK FANTISIES TO ME."

She gave me a disbelieving look. "Whatevs. I'll make the next point short. NO inteference of any kind to those matches. Especially Squalo's. Don't help him, don't get anyone else to help him, and for the love of God - don't tell him he's going to lose." By pulling out a pair of glasses, I suppose she was attempting to look more serious. But it just made her look like a receptionist – the flirty unintelligent type. "To be frank, the Cervello seem to hate you. Mess with anything - and that's just begging for their wrath."

"Well, just think about it," I snapped. "Right after Yamamoto wins, Squalo's face is just...planted into the water. And he's unconscious. Screw Yamamoto's mercy for using the blunt side a katana - he's going to drown anyway!"

"I'm sure it'll be fine. Have faith!" Her face lacked the same faith she preached.

"Who's brother is he - yours or mine?!" I yelled, putting forth the rhetorical question. "What exactly is stopping him from being eaten by a shark? God?! Ha! And Bel! Just about now – he's stuck in a room with a bomb, and you just expect him to magically not to be blown to smithereens?"

"Well...uh...it's rare to kill off popular characters in a story...but..."

"This isn't a story," I said coldly.

And I woke up, more stressed and tired prior to my nap. She's as helpful as a manual in Yiddish.

Hibari's chair had been just as uncomfortable as I last remembered. Well actually, last I remembered, the chair was sitting on me – not that it made a difference. Bored, I rummaged through his desk for the hundredth time. I didn't know what I was trying to find – tonfas, dirty magazines, Hibird, a potato, love letters...but I gasped. As I did every other time I rummaged through his desk.

Paper. Shocking. What an interesting guy.

Checking my watch, I yawned. The storm battle, logically speaking, finished a few minutes ago. Slouching in the chair, I noticed a large portion of the ceiling had taken a permanent holiday. Ah, that's right. The Disciplinary Committee's room was on the second floor. Seriously? I slept through that whole battle?

Using the desk as leverage, I tumbled upwards through the ceiling's gap onto shattered glass. Gah. Damn. As I brushed out the larger fragments, a voice blasted out behind me.

"It is almost the promised time."

Speakers? There was an annoying high pitched whine, and it took me a second too long to realize – those weirdo wind turbines were exploding. Which...meant the match wasn't actually over.

How even...? Then I remembered. My watch was fast.

Well. I didn't expect to ignore Alex's advice so soon.

Snapping back to the issues of the present, I dodged forward, noting my exit/entrance had been annihilated. It was easy to leave the building - windows, air ducts, etc. - but I found myself hesitating. The Cervello hate me anyway. I've already trespassed. So...then...Bel...

"God damn it!" I cursed, breaking into a sprint towards the end of the corridor - the library - vaguely aware of the explosions behind. Upon arrival, Gokudera was at the door of the library. I heard a beep.

Kicking Gokudera down the corridor, I skidded into the library in Bel's direction and knocked over a bookshelf onto the both of us – just as the turbine thing exploded. I could've sworn, Bel hugged me. Nevertheless, a word of thanks echoed in my mind to whoever decided to make the Varia coats fireproof. And that word of thanks immediately twisted into an array of swears.

"FUCK! SHIT. ARGH. JUST. ARGH. FUCKER. POTATO. NGH."

I woke to the annoyed grunt of an unfamiliar doctor. Sitting up, I made sense of my bearings. Varia field hospital? Ah, of course. It was a room on the same floor as the Varia's penthouse, formerly known as the janitor's closet.

Surprisingly, my injuries weren't...ghastly. I didn't have a single burn. The only damage I had was from the glass on my hands, and probably an odd bruise or two. That must've been one hell of a sturdy bookcase. Bel occupied the bed beside me - and I didn't need to know rocket science to realise...maybe...he'd...tried...

"Are all your senses okay?" the doctor interrupted, prodding me with a pen for attention. "Do you feel ready for service?"

My vocal cords were fucked up, so I shook my head instead.

The woman nodded, and took hold of my handgun on the bedside table, flicking the safety switchh. "In that case, Boss has ordered me to - "

Snatching the weapon from her hands, I stood up shakily, scowling. Tell Xanxus he can shove his orders up his ass. I walked up to Bel's bedside, slowly taking in the endless bandages on his unconscious figure. Bloody prince. We're even now, savvy?

"You okay?"

Squalo was at the door, arms folded, face somewhat neutral. I tried to throw a thumbs up, but it looked more like an awkward gesture. I'm fucking brilliant. Don't worry. Being siblings, a mutual understanding had formed from various motions and expressions. There was no need for words.

"I'm gonna go training then. I'll be back tomorrow morning. Rest," he stressed, jabbing his finger between my eyes forcefully.

I know, I know...

"By the way, you've got some sort of an acquaintance waiting for you downstairs. The boot weirdo," he remembered, getting in a lift going up. Which confused me. Up? Why would he – actually, it was probably better not knowing.

Feeling refreshed, I ran out of the hotel the Varia were stayng to find Terry, patiently waiting on a bench. "You look alive."

Frowning, I was about to pull out my phone for a reply, but she stopped me. "You know, I can lip-read."

"You can WHAT?"

"Lip-read. And for your information," she added thoughtfully, "you never asked, and you were amusing to watch. It helps that you're easy to read. You know, some people - they're like 'Heart of Darkness'. You? More like 'The Cat in the Hat'."

"What do you want?"

"I'm bored."

I sat down heavily beside her, staring up at the night sky. "Say, Terry, do you have any family?"

She shrugged, nodding in acceptance of the random question. "Actually, I'm an orphan. My parents sold me to some warlord. Went dumpster diving as soon as I could stand."

I blinked. How odd. Every one of my acquaintances had messed up families or some sort. Maybe I was cursed...? I slapped the negative thought away. Oh well, never judge a girl by her cover. "Weren't you working for the French Secret Service?"

"Pfft. I was adopted by this French guy when I was six. Turns out the guy was a spy. Luck, I guess."

"But...but...you're the Ninth's sister's husband's niece...and Iemitsu and the Ninth are both...uncles..."

"The French guy married the Ninth's sister – so I suppose that's my foster family. Bit like yours, but more...ordinary," she decided. "The relations are all over the place - too much paperwork. So technically, the Ninth is my uncle – and Xanxus is my cousin. Iemitsu is still part of the ninth generation, so he's also my uncle. And I'm their only niece."

Terry obviously didn't think any of this was a big deal. But to me, it was like...a once dirty secret revealed to be a squeaky clean fact. "Let me guess. You're a suck up, and you enjoy it."

She rolled her eyes. "First off, I've never had to kiss their shoes. And secondly, it's a façade, Serena. Duh. Look good in front of elders. Then laugh behind their backs. It's a spy thing," Terry shrugged. "Get used to it."

"Yeah…but…it's dishonest to laugh behind their backs. Laughing in their faces feels so much better, you know?"

"Except...laughing in their faces will get you tortured."

"...It's totally worth it."

Later that day...

"Here, I got you some milk," I muttered hoarsely, throwing Yamamoto a carton. Oh how I've missed my ordinary voice.

"Ah, thanks Serena," he grinned, catching it with his free hand. Gently putting down his shinai, he plopped down. I sat down painfully beside him. The guy seriously took things too seriously. By sparring, I hoped he'd gain a little experience with an opponent other than his father. And well, I wasn't really supposed to hold a sword yet.

My poor, poor hands... Faking an anguished scream into a yawn, I focused on Yamamoto. "Take a break. Relax." I recoiled at the taste of milk. Why was it just so...milky? And...cow-like?

Yamamoto noticed. "Something wrong?"

"I hate milk."

"Ha ha, really? Why're you drinking it then?"

I looked grim. "When I was younger, I used to break a lot of bones. Actually, I still do. So Squalo always forced me to drink milk. So we made a deal. Drink milk, or one of Squalo's protein shakes."

He laughed again. "Were his protein shakes that bad?"

I shuddered. "All I know, is that he went to the butcher and only used a blender."

Which is why I drink milk. Voluntarily.

"You two sound really close..." he trailed off, staring absent-mindedly at his milk. "And when you talk about him, he doesn't sound like a bad guy."

Holy shit. I forgot. He didn't know. "Ah – no...he was more of...uh...a rival. He's uh...very nasty guy. Horrible. Despicable - I always hoped someone would teach him a lesson and smash his brains out," I brainstormed, coughing oh-so-inconspicuously. Thankfully, Yamamoto didn't seem to pick up on it.

"Squalo, please!" I pleaded, jogging to keep up with his leisurely stroll.

"VOI! I already told you, I'll slice that puny kid to pieces!" He stared dead ahead.

Gah. I'm not meant to do this. But if I don't try, I'll regret this afterwards. So I decided to give it another shot. "This is going to end badly. Just think about your pride!"

Squalo laughed. "VOI! You think I'm going to lose? The kid has what – two weeks of actual experience? Don't underestimate my pride as a swordsman, Serena."

Grabbing his elbow, I got him to stop. "Remember what our parents' will? Take pride in your actions, a man with honor, was it not? Tell me, where the fuck is the pride and honor in slashing an inexperienced kid to pieces?!"

He glared. "Don't talk to me about pride. You can't even deal with your own problems."

Perhaps I went too far. But I couldn't say I wasn't offended, in the least. I tried to soften my expression, and I let go of his arm. Siblings were born to argue. Both of us took no joy from it. "Squalo, he's not a bad kid - "

"Whatever!"

Bel put an arm on Serena's shoulder and put his weight on her, grinning. Squalo lost? Now THAT, was a surprise. Serena didn't move a muscle. Literally. She'd stopped blinking and breathing, staring at her brother's death (on HD too) projected on the side of a building. He promptly dropped the smirk.

"Oi dumbass, say something."

There was a significantly long pause. "Fishsticks."

Fishsticks? He came to a conclusion.

Serena had snapped.

"Squalo." Behind them, Xanxus laughed loudly, and all turned to stare. "Look at that! He lost! Trash!" His voice dropped several tones. "I'm done with you." Xanxus' hand lit up.

Levi, being the suck up he was, immediately spoke. "Boss, you don't need to raise a hand."

"Shall I?" Mammon joined in. "For a special fee."

Xanxus took a moment to consider. "Scum. Eliminate Squalo."

The Varia fell into silence. Xanxus only called one person 'scum'. There was a slight pause, and Serena started walking in the direction of the battlefield, stiffly.

"Serena, stop. Xanxus, you can't do this!" the Cavallone clotpole hissed, walking towards him.

Yawning, Xanxus reclined in his chair, answering without finding the need to look at him. "That scum is my subordinate. She is your equal. Know your place."

"I swear, if you do this, I will declare - "

"Dino. Stop." Hm? So the Arcobaleno finally spoke. "Leave it."

"Reborn! You can't - "

"It's her choice."

"Please wait!" A Cervello chick? Fool. "It's dangerous to enter the Aquarion – "

There was a slight glint as Serena broke into a sprint, and the foolish Cervello chick slowly crumpled. Serena was already a fair distance away when the body hit the floor. Turning back to the screen, Bel frowned. The baseball kid was carrying Squalo. A fin cut across the water. "What's with him?"

"He doesn't intend to save Squalo, does he?" Mammon murmured.

As they watched, a shark bumped into pillar that had been supporting the area the two had been standing on, and they dropped several feet. In range...now this was starting to get interesting.

Squalo kicked Yamamoto away, and seconds later, was no longer visible. "~Ushi shi shi shi~...that's the end of that annoying Captain..." Bel mused cheerfully, though his mood wasn't quite so. As the shark submerged, there was a second splash.

Dumbass.

Tension rose among the small crowd. And after a minute, it began to fade. Bel considered. Serena could barely hold her breath for half a minute. Perhaps...?

She resurfaced. In the short amount of time, she'd lost her coat, sword and new set of teeth marks ran along her arm. Knowing her better than most, Bel waited for Squalo to burst through the still water. But he didn't. Instead, the water slowly turned scarlet, chunks of flesh bobbing in the water. Raw and bleeding, it was difficult to tell whose it once was.

Serena's face was downcast.

And Xanxus laughed. "Fish food at the very end! Ha ha ha! That piece of trash!"

The brat candidate gently tapped the CEDEF kid's shoulder. "Um...Basil-kun, do you know how close Serena is with Squalo?" His subordinate's worse the same confusion.

The CEDEF kid stared at him, shocked. "Squalo-san is her older brother."

"EH?!"

Bel looked back to the screen. Correction. Was.

DAY 5

"Knock knock."

"Fuck off Mukuro."

"You're meant to say 'who's there', assassin."

I sighed. The thing about voices in your head, is that you can't get rid of them by ignoring them. In fact, that only adds fuel to those damn ever-so-attention-needy voices. "Who's there?"

"Me. Who else?"

"STFU."

"Stuff me? Why would anyone want to stuff me?" he asked, feigning offence. "I assure you, I am far more entertaining than a stuffed animal, assassin."

"Get with the times; it stands for 'shut the fuck up'," I glared.

"...I knew that. I was testing you, ku fu fu fu..."

"Well, your acting deserves an Oscar."

Mukuro looked rather pleased with himself. "Hm? Really? What part did you like?"

"Your stupidity. Oh hang on. You weren't acting. My bad!" I muttered, irritated.

He huffed indignantly in response. "Well, obviously someone is going through that time of the month. Am I correct?"

"Incorrect," I grumbled through gritted teeth. "Now if you don't mind, stop trying to understand female reproduction cycles and leave me alone."

The corner of his mouth twitched into a large smile, and the next second, he burst out into laughter. "Ku ha ha!" Ku ha ha? Is that like a Mukuro Yamamoto hybrid laugh? Freaky. "Don't kid yourself, assassin. Your mind is always a physical wreck. I doubt any amount time alone would repair that damage."

"Did you always talk this much?"

"Yes."

"No. You didn't. Good to see Chrome finally got through to you. Now you don't seem that gay," I murmured, enjoying the seething look on his face.

"Shame to see that you've become weak. A herbivore, as that skylark would've said."

"He's called me an herbivore from day one. I'm sure I was weak all along," I pointed out.

"Your brother isn't dead. Isn't that all you wanted in the first place?"

My eyes narrowed. "What makes you think he isn't?"

"Well, you haven't jumped off a building for starters," he shrugged casually. "Your mind's a wreck, but that doesn't mean it's complex."

"Your stupidity is overwhelming. Doesn't mean you're not a mentally deranged pervert."

Maybe Mukuro was a little upset. But he seemed to keep his act together. "Lancia. He's somewhere in Northern Italy at the moment. I need you to contact him, and get him to come to Japan."

I raised an eyebrow. "Northern Italy's a little vague, Mukuro. About 40 million people in that area. And if I recall correctly, last we met, I wasn't that interested in tasting bricks, cement, and reinforced concrete." For a moment, I recollected my memories. "Actually, right after that, you pushed me out of a window. It hurt, you know."

"You jumped out of the window," he corrected, irritation growing.

"You didn't stop me. That's the equivalent of pushing me out."

"Oh for crying out - ! We were enemies, assassin. Get real!" he spluttered.

Hang on. Something was wrong with that. "Were? I don't recall us ever getting to the 'friends' stage...I think you just appeared in my head, and assumed we were comrades..."

"Can you hurry it up, assassin? We have serious matters to discuss."

But I wasn't focusing on that. "- but friends also give hugs, and presents...and are supportive – nice, and - "

Mukuro groaned. Swiftly, he shoved a lollipop in my mouth, a book appeared in my hand, somehow changed the dull black background morphed into an empty meadow and wrapped his arms around me. Letting go quickly, he pointed at himself, "Hug," the lollipop, "present," the book, "support,"and then gestured at the park with both hands. "Nice."

I looked at the book's spine. You. Are. Shitting. Me. Breaking Dawn?! It looked like it'd been read quite a few times too. The only thing I could seem to say was: "You smell like a wet dog, I hate the pineapples and you read crap like this?"

*Facepalm* "Just - ?!" He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Find Lancia. Get him to Namimori."

Approximately a minute after Bel, Levi, Gola Mosca and Xanxus had left for the Mist battle, I snapped out of my depression. Immediately, I made my way to Nakayama Hospital. Bursting into Squalo's hospital room through the window, my face fell. The stench of antiseptic. The cluttered machines. The red. The white.

I did this.

I put Squalo in this mess. I could blame the Ninth all I wanted, but at the end of the day, I was responsible.

"Serena!" Dino yelled, pulling me into the room before I could fall backwards and break my neck. A nurse standing by chided him to be more quiet. "It's okay," he insisted, pulling me into a hug.

I choked, and my voice that only just returned completely, cracked. "I-I'm so, so sorry...all this..."

"It's not your fault," he cut in. "You saved him."

"But..."

The door to the room slid open. "I so approve."

"You know, I thought she was with that other guy. Oh well. Both have decent fashion sense though. I approve too."

Dino and I parted, reaching for our weapons. "Bianchi! Terry! What the fuck is goin - "

The nurses shushed me, so I dragged Dino out of Squalo's hospital room, and motioned for the three of them to get in an empty room. I took a deep breath. "Squalo's dead. You didn't see anything."

They nodded slowly.

Bianchi glared at Dino. "What's going on here, Cavallone?"

"I'll explain later," I murmured. "What are you and Terry doing together?"

"I was looking for you," Terry shrugged. "I forgot how to get to Namimori Middle. Though...the battle's probably over by now. ARGH. I wanted to see those illusions!"

Seeing Terry distraught, Bianchi continued for her. "I was looking for you as well. Reborn and Tsuna have been acting strange lately - and Lambo's hospitalization was too coincidental."

"That is true..." Dino murmured in agreement. "Does anyone else find it fishy?"

"No. But if you interrupt again, this is going down your throat," Bianchi warned, pulling out a platter of poison cooking.

Terry stared at her, wide-eyed. "Way to go, sister." They high-fived.

Dino and I shared a look.

"Anyways," Bianchi cleared her throat, "I figured that Serena would be the easiest to interrogate. No offence."

I curtsied, despite the fact I wasn't wearing a skirt. "Offence taken."

"More or less, we bumped into each other. We realized that we were both looking for you, and bingo," Terry finished. "What were you two doing together, all over each other?" I opened my mouth to retaliate, but no words seemed to come out. Dino seemed to be going through the same dilemma.

"Oi scum, your plan has a problem."

Yawning, I rubbed my eyes. Did I fall asleep in the hotel the Varia were staying at? No one else seemed to be in the living room. "Those who know the truth about the coup d'état. About time you noticed. Got any ideas?"

"Frame the Sawada brat tomorrow. You can do it after the cloud battle."

"No. I refuse."

Xanxus' eyes flickered dangerously in a very Smeagol like fashion. "What did you say?"

"Did you know that Sawada's cloud guardian is easily tempted into battle?"

And out came the gun. "I don't give the jackshit about Sawada's guardians, scum."

I sighed. Deeply. I'd broken more or less every instruction that Alexandra Knight had been so keen to spew. So breaking another wouldn't exactly make too much of a difference. "Gola Mosca would probably annihilate Hibari Kyoya on full power. You'd win the ring battles, but the issue lies with crackpots in the upper echelon of the Vongola."

"It wouldn't be difficult to kill them all."

Shaking my head, I wondered how good Xanxus was at strategies. "It'd be too suspicious if they all just suddenly dropped dead. The majority of the people in the Vongola would just scram, leaving the desperate, and it'd be more or less a weak little family. Yeah?"

"I only want the Vongola at its strongest, scum."

"If Sawada was the one to severely injure the Ninth, who happens to be in the Gola Mosca suit, would it not be the perfect chance to showcase the victorious son who avenged his father?" I muttered. "Sawada can only intervene after the battle ends, only if his guardian wins."

"Mosca automatically goes on rampage after being knocked down."

I gave a mock salute. "Yes Sir. I believe you can figure out the rest. I won't be attending tomorrow night's match. Good luck, Xanxus."

"I don't need luck, scum."

"Well, having it won't hurt."

DAY 6

"Lal Mirch? Sup?" I greeted, surprised. It was rare for her to call.

"Serena, has Iemitsu been in touch with you in the past six hours?"

Reclining on the couch, I frowned. "Iemitsu? No, the batard's on the other side of the globe. Why?"

"He's missing."

"Okay." Wait. WAIT. "WHAT?! YOU LOST IEMITSU?!"

"We were infiltration the Vongola mansion. We were split up and for some reason, lost connection with him. He was looking for the Ninth. Do you have any idea where he might be?"

I hesitated. Technically, I wasn't supposed to tell them anything about the fake Ninth. "Well, has the Ninth's emergency helicopter left yet?"

"We destroyed it."

"If you can't get in contact with him with technology, he's probably in deep. Basement, sewer deep. At least four or five floors down," I thought logically. "Though there is the possibility that he may've lost his receiver and they're just having tea."

"This is Iemitsu we're talking about. Thank you for your cooperation."

She hung up before I could say she wasn't that welcome. Sleep...finally.

Someone knocked on the door.

Only once, in the whole time since I'd moved to my living quarters in Japan, did someone knock on my house door. Actually, they rang the doorbell. And that was a messenger who didn't even show his face. People didn't just knock. There were no annoying salesmen, pranksters or milkmen. Mainly because my place was among a bunch of abandoned warehouses.

Nevertheless, I pulled out the sword from under the sofa, and walked up to the door. Opening the door quickly, I was about to –

Bel.

"Go away. What are you doing here?" I complained, sheathing the sword.

"~Ushi shi shi shi~...I was stalking you."

"Oh. Lovely. Scram."

His face lit up with a smirk. "Actually, I'm sleeping over."

"Noooo. I paid for that hotel - go sleep over there."

"~Ushi shi shi shi~...I have takeaway."

My stomach grumbled. Hey, a girl's gotta eat. "Hurry up and get in."

Being very, very responsible teens, we didn't drink. Instead, we got high on sugar. And started playing tips. Not childish at all. "~Ushi shi shi shi~...you can't run or hide, dumbass," Bel almost sang, closing the distance. Damn it. The guy was hard to catch and outrun. Despite all that had happened, I found myself laughing almost maniacally, feeling more free than ever.

Looking back ahead, I rammed into a wall.

Wait.

Walls don't go 'I'll bite you to death'.

But...being high, Hibari wasn't much of a threat. "You're it!" I smirked, dodging a jab from Bel, rolling to my feet. A few knives flew over my head. "OI! BEL! We agreed! No weapons!"

Wait, if Bel actually wanted to hit me, the knives would've actually been closer. So that meant I wasn't the target.

Backtracking to see that Bel and Hibari had started a stare-down, I rolled my eyes. Before they started a fight, I ran between. I could see Dino in the distance, sprinting over. Ah, I see. So he'd been sparring with Hibari.

Being between two irresponsible guys that pissed me off to the point of spontaneous combustion, I wasn't exactly thrilled. The sugar rush died completely. Don't get me wrong, I would've loved to watch them fight. And irresponsibly put up bets. But...that would've just been wrong.

"Get out of the way, herbivore."

"~Ushi shi shi shi~...I'm taking this one, dumbass."

"Guardians can't battle, dimwits!" I hollered. "Bel – Hibari's a maniac. Hibari – Bel's a maniac and a genius."

Hibari glared. "Are you suggesting that that herbivore is stronger than me?"

"No! He's still a maniac," I tried to reassure.

"~Ushi shi shi shi~...are you saying that I'd lose against that peasant?" Bel frowned. "How much do you want to bet?"

"Girls girls - you're both pretty, no need for this to get messy," I insisted firmly, staying between the two.

"~Ushi shi shi shi~...dumbass is my toy," Bel declared, putting a hand around my waist and dragging me closer to him. "Get that into your head, peasant. Listen to the genius."

Quickly, I tried to push him away from me. "Let go of me Bel!" To my surprise, Hibari grabbed my other arm and yanked me in his direction.

"The herbivore is my subordinate. Keep your hands off her."

Though dislocating my elbow in the process was just mean. Then again, he could argue that it was accidental. In pain, I fell to the floor, writhing. "FUCKING ASSHOLE! SHITFACE. NGH. What the hell is wrong with you people?!"

"Oi oi, see what you've done?" Bel hissed, a handful of knives appearing in his hands.

"You dare blame me?" Hibari growled. "I'll bite you to death!"

Dino finally reached us. "Hibari! Don't you want to fight Mukuro? Belphegor! What would Xanxus say?"

Both hesitated, but remained in position. Left without much of a choice, I pulled out my pistol and shot both of them. Tranquilizer darts, unfortunately. Looking drunk for a moment, they both hit the floor, unconscious. Cradling my arm, I sat up breathing heavily. "Don't worry, they'll wake up in three hours with a hangover," I explained to a surprised Dino.

"How did you get here...?"

"Sugar rush."

"...What."

"Mukuro, I found Lancia. He should be here tomorrow."

It was faint, but he replied. "About time, assassin. Anything else you wish to discuss?"

"Congrats. You won."

"Obviously."

I coughed. "I started reading 'Breaking Dawn'. It doesn't make any sense, and I find it disturbing."

"Ku fu fu fu fu...I have another suggestion. A friend from another realm wrote it, but I assume it should be in this world soon. The battle was long; I bid you a good night, assassin." He disappeared. Glancing at the book that popped up into my hands, I blinked.

Fifty Shades of Grey.

Maybe I should get Lussuria to read it first...but considering the fact that Lussuria thought Breaking Dawn was revolutional...Hibari? He likes to read, right? Urgh. No one else I know actually reads for leisure. It'll have to do. But...I need to get him to owe me first...

"Serena...Serena!"

I woke up hastily, head banging Squalo's hospital bed. Annoyed, I saw Dino smiling cheesily and apologizing at the same time. A bunch of his subordinates were around him now. "Hm? What do you guys want? Did something happen?"

"Can you watch Hibari's match for me?" he asked, shooting his subordinates a dark look.

"Huh? Can't you go yourself?" I retorted groggily, standing up. My elbow still felt awful, courtesy of one very special prefect.

"Hibari might get distracted if I were there," he shrugged. "And since my men think that he might lose *stares incredulously* I'd feel better knowing you're there."

"Um...I wasn't really planning to go..."

He became very interested in his fingernails. "Did you know, fingernails grow slower after the age of twenty?"

"I got it! I'm leaving," I insisted, putting on my coat as I left the room and made my way for the stairs. Dino knew I hated people talking about pointless facts. It was a waste of brain space, and for some reason, it was permanent.

The walk to Namimori Middle lonely and miserable. The shadows were playing tricks on my eyes – and maybe I was just slightly paranoid of the dark. So my pace was...slow.

Hearing footsteps round the corner, I ran around to confront them, already in a defensive stance. "Who goes there?!"

"S-Serena!" Shoichi gasped, taking a few steps back.

Terry, who was beside him, snickered. "Who did you think we were? And 'who goes there'? What century is this?"

"It's pretty late," I coughed, cursing my paranoid behaviour.

"We just watched a movie," Shoichi explained. "I was walking her home."

"Gentleman, huh? What did you watch? A rom-com? Action? Horror? Thriller?" I guessed.

"A documentary," Terry said flatly. "Gawd woman, your imagination is just weird."

Oh. Lame. "Well, g'nite." We waved our goodbyes and went our separate ways.

Unfortunately due to delays, by the time of my arrival, the cloud match was already over. Hibari and Xanxus were brawling – well, Hibari was brawling, Xanxus was just casually dodging.

"Serena! What are you doing here?" Yamamoto exclaimed, running to me with Gokudera and Ryohei in tow.

"Dino told me to watch..." I murmured, wondering why he would ask. Was it wrong to spectate?

"Ha ha, they're really going all out….."

"Hibari is manly to the extreme!"

...I'm gonna forget that last line. "I suppose you want me to stop them then?"

"If you don't mind," Gokudera coughed awkwardly, looking away.

While he wasn't focused on me, I reached into his jacket pockets to take out two dynamites. "I'm just gonna borrow these. Actually, I won't give them back," I reconsidered.

"Hey! What are you doing?!"

Choosing two adjacent Gatling guns, I sprinted to the area between them and stepped off the fence as leverage to get over. In the air, I threw the two dynamites away from me, so the two Gatling guns weren't facing me. Landing in a roll, I sprinted towards Hibari and Xanxus. But just before I reached them, Gola Mosca started powering up.

Condensed particle cannon. Extremely dangerous. And painful.

My left leg conveniently cramped and I tripped, knocking over Hibari. The cannon missed narrowly his waist, grazed his thigh, and singed my hair. I couldn't tell if Hibari's shock was a result of me or being shot.

Xanxus laughed. "Cervello. Because the cloud guardian refused to let me restrain Mosca, I lost control of him."

Missiles shot out of Gola Mosca, and I dragged Hibari out of the way, cursing at his weight. "Hibari! Oi!" I snapped my fingers in his face continuously.

He shook his head, and his eyes focused on me. His shock turned into anger. "Herbivore..."

"Tourniquet, tourniquet..." I chanted, patting my pockets. Finding a suitable piece of cloth, I double-knotted it just above his injury. It missed his femoral artery, the lucky bastard. Immediately after I tied the knot, another array of missiles came through the air. This time, Hibari was the one who noticed and pulled me away by my collar.

"Hurry up."

"Ah...thanks..." I muttered, twisting the loose ends of the knot to tighten it. His grip on my collar tightened significantly. "Sorry." Getting up, I saw Mosca was flying directly at us.

That has GOT to be illegal. Oh wait. It is.

Whipping out my pistol, I shot out one of its eyes on my first try. Fortunately for me, like me, it wasn't used to operating with only one eye, and swerved away from us. Pulling Hibari's arm over my neck, we ran across the field. Hearing a beep, I looked behind my shoulder. Chrome…! That's a mine…! Ken and Chikusa pushed her instead into the path of a Gatling gun and Mosca.

And then Tsuna arrived. On time. I almost fainted in relief at that moment.

"It was this strong..." Hibari muttered, using his brain for once. I was beginning to think the guy was all brawn.

"Gola Mosca is virtually indestructible. It's still on its lowest level." Hibari was probably starting to feel degraded. "Well, it beats humans with strength, but it lacks resolve. Which is why it'll lose against Sawada."

Gola Mosca was down in less than a minute. It was kinda hard to act shocked when the Ninth tumbled out of the carnage. But it was still gut-wrenching to watch.

Filled with guilt, I nodded to Hibari and left him, moving towards the Ninth.

Dino watched Serena sleep silently at Squalo's bedside, shifting restlessly. Yet it was then when she looked most peaceful. He just couldn't quite take his eyes off her figure.

Squalo's heart rate monitor sped up a little, causing Dino to focus. "Have you come to, Squalo?"

He felt his former friend's eyes move in his direction. "Haneuma..."

Well. This was awkward. Dino was at a complete loss of words. Former friends, emphasis on former. They hadn't exactly chatted for quite some time...and well...only knew vague stories of each other. With a tentative smile, Dino decided to be explanatory. "When Yamamoto fought you, I imagined that he would be in trouble, so I was ready to save him. But...I didn't think it would end like this."

Awkward. He shouldn't have said the last line. It made Squalo sound weak.

"Why did you save me? It would've been better to leave me be..." Squalo muttered gruffly with difficulty.

Dino laughed lightly. "Well, it'd be troublesome if you died on us now." He nodded in Serena's direction. "To be honest, she was the one who saved you. Completely annihilated that shark."

Squalo frowned in response. "You were always soft, Haneuma."

"Yeah probably."

Silence.

"You know, I was thinking. Maybe after the ring conflict, we can be friends again," Dino offered. "The three of us should go camping or something. Live the old days, stuff like that."

"Maybe."

Gah. This was just difficult. Conversation starters. Urgh. "So, how's the weather been lately?"

"We've been in the same place, Haneuma."

Great. Now he sounded mental. "I believe Tsuna is worthy of becoming Vongola Tenth. What about Xanxus drew you in? What does he have that makes you follow him, when all you care about is improving your swordsmanship, Squalo?"

Squalo was silent for a moment. "What did Serena say?"

"Uh...I think it was...because he had this raccoon tail around his neck or something..." Dino attempted. "Or maybe it was the feathers...she kinda said that fluffy thing he has so...how bad can a guy with a soft side be?"

Typical.

DAY 7

"And since I might not be here for a while, let's have a cram session," I decided. Screw Dino. Since when was he a 'oh, you have to go to school today because people might get suspicious and call the police and blow your cover' sorta guy? I found Tsuna staring, and looked away. "Anything you'd like to go through in particular?"

"Where have you been for the past two weeks?" Hana complained. "The sub taught us nothing!"

That's not a topic. And I'm the sub. So your sub's sub taught you nothing. "Yeah, but you guys are ahead anyways, so I doubt it matters," I pointed out. "You guys didn't even miss me."

"You said we'd make light up sparklers!" one of the guys piped up. "Right guys?" There were chants of agreement.

Gosh, can't you just let me survive the next week first?

It was almost like an average day in Namimori. No ring battles, Varia, Xanxus, mafia. Actually, it felt...fake.

I got to the roof moments before Tsuna did. I found a nice shady spot, and Reborn joined soon afterwards. "You're probably going to ask about the Ninth," I foretold, leaning on the building behind me. "Yes, I knew he was in Gola Mosca. In fact, the idea was mine."

"Why?"

"Xanxus wanted me to be the Varia's cloud guardian," I smiled wryly, redoing the bandages around my hands. "I'm not fit to be a guardian. And the Ninth was just...there. So it's my fault whichever way you look at it."

Reborn looked confused. "Being a guardian is a great honor. You have the skills. I don't understand," he said slowly.

"Nobody's asking you to."

We basked in silence for a while.

"Do you think Tsuna stands a chance against Xanxus?" Reborn asked seriously, out of the blue.

"Everyone stands a chance. It's just minuscule," I muttered, staring at the sky.

"Who's side are you on?"

"Whichever way it ends, Xanxus is going to want to kill me, Iemitsu will blow a vein screaming at me, and the Ninth is probably going to do something unspeakably horrible."

"Be more positive, Serena. You've helped Tsuna more than you know - the Ninth and Iemitsu might just turn a blind eye."

"That still leaves the Varia."

Crossing his arms, Reborn sounded like he was a difficult time comprehending something. "I don't get it. What exactly ties you to the Varia? You were forced to join. You hate your job."

I gave a tired smile. "Well, they more or less accepted me from day one. And although they're unorthodox, insane and bloodthirsty, they're the family that I needed then and now."

"Stockholm syndrome?"

"...Probably."

Dumping my school bag on the floor, I sat down in the chair beside Squalo's hospital bed, letting out a deep breath. Starving, exhausted and stressed. Dino, who had been asleep, jumped awake. "Ah, Serena, I was getting worried!" He glanced at the clock on the wall. "What took you so long?"

"Hibari made me count and measure every bloody window in Namimori Middle," I groaned in remembrance of the memory. "And afterwards, the Gagliardo family tried to kill me again. You were right. My cover's almost blown. I need to tell Iemitsu or the Ninth to get me out of this shithole..."

"I forgot to tell you..." Dino muttered, running a hand through his hair. "Uh...Iemitsu's stuck in the Vongola mansion, and he's been shot. The Ninth is still in intensive care so..."

Oh how the table have turned, bastards. But for some reason, the news didn't bring much joy. "Perfect. Well, if you don't hurry, you'll miss the battle," I warned, nodding at the clock. "It's the final hour."

"Nah, I'll stay and watch with you..." he insisted. "Pizza? It's cold now though..."

"Good enough." Taking the box, I got up and dragged him up. "Go. Don't worry, I'll watch Squalo tonight. You've only seen one of the matches," I ushered with a slice of pizza in my other hand.

Before any of us could argue any further, Bianchi burst into the room. "Cavallone! Serena! Lambo's gone!" she reported frantically. "Someone's taken him!"

Behind her, a Cervello chick stepped into the room. If I had a gun on me, I would've totally shot her. Unfortunately, an eighth of pizza isn't very effective. "All guardians have summons to the final battle."

It took me a moment to realize that she meant Squalo. "Wait! What? He's injured!"

Dino got a call, and his face paled. "Serena, it's the Ninth. They've taken him as well."

"W-what? Why?" I demanded, taking a step towards the Cervello. "He's not even a guardian!"

"He is the power source of Gola Mosca. Therefore he has been summoned as well."

"What is wrong with you? This is kidnapping!" I yelled, itching to throw a punch. "Get out!"

"That is not possible."

Swearing, I punched the wall. Calm down. Inner peace. Racking my brains, it didn't take long to find a solution. Dino seemed to have come to the same conclusion. "No, Serena - "

I ignored him, facing the Cervello woman. "I'll take their place. There is no rule that states you can't take up the duties of multiple guardians." I hated every word that came out of my mouth. But there was no other option.

She paused. "That is agreeable."

"Wha - ! Hang on Serena, I can't agree with this! You could be killed!" Dino interjected.

"The Ninth could be killed. Squalo could be killed," I retorted. "Bianchi. Keep an eye on everyone. They're all Varia targets."

"Be careful, Serena."

Dino just stared, frozen. With gritted teeth, I looked at the Cervello that had been standing there, emotionless the entire time. "Lead the way to hell, bitch."

OMAKE: Fishsticks

A/N: Squalo's about 9 years old, Serena's about 3.

"Squalo, what does 'fuck' mean?"

The hair on Squalo's neck stood up. "We went over this, Serena," he said all too sweetly. "The 'f' word is a very bad word."

"Okay. I'll ask Mom," she said thoughtfully, getting off his bed and heading for the door.

"Wait! I'll tell you!" Squalo yelled, jumping off his chair and closing the door. If she went to their mother...without a doubt, that woman would've told her the truth. Or worse - put the blame on him for swearing in front of her.

Serena smiled cheekily. "All right then, what does it mean?"

He hesitated. "When two soul-mates love each other very much...they say 'fuck you'," he explained briefly. "But if you tell that to anyone, they'd get very angry with you because you're not their soul-mate."

"...Really?"

"Yes."

"So what does 'wanker' mean?"

Oh hell. "VOI! Serena, how about this. I'll teach you a new word...that none of these words can compare to. It's so awesome, that...well, there's no other word to describe its...awesomeness," Squalo made up quickly. Urgh...the bullshit...

"Oh yeah? What is it?"

Sniffing the air, he said the first thing that came to mind. "Fishsticks."

"Fishsticks?" she repeated hesitantly. "It's that awesome?"

Squalo nodded and continued on his homework. He didn't think of their conversation much, until he realized Serena had gone into their father's office, directly across his room.

"What are you doing Dad?" he heard his sister ask curiously.

His father probably lifted her onto his lap. "You see this? I spent the last three days making it," he boasted proudly. "There's no way in hell your Mom's Valentine's Day present is going to be better than mine this year..."

"It's...a photo album."

"It's pretty, right?"

She looked at her father thoughtfully. "Can I write something on it?"

"Well...okay," he heard his father say hesitantly. About ten seconds later, Serena beamed.

"Did I spell it right?"

There was silence. "SUPERBI SQUALO! YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE, YOUNG MAN!"

Oh come on. What was it now? His mother called out that lunch was ready, and he quickly made a dash for the door, sadly a fraction of a second too slow. His father stormed into the room, photo album in hand. On the cover, it read 'to my beloved...fuck you.' Without meaning to, Squalo burst into laughter.

"DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TEACHING YOUR SISTER?"

"What was I supposed to say?!" he defended defiantly.

His father's voice turned icy. "And what did you tell her?"

"VOI! I can't remember! It was like...soul-mates who love each other," Squalo said quickly, inching out the door. His father caught him by the collar and sat him down on his bed.

"You're grounded."

"What?! Fuck! Come on, do you have a better explanation?!" he yelled angrily.

"Well..."

But Squalo was on a ranting roll. "VOI! When I was seven and I asked you what it meant, you locked me in a room with porn for five hours! Is that what you wanted me to do? Huh?!"

"Son, I've already told you, I'm sorry," his father said through gritted teeth. "I was drunk."

"That's no excuse!"

The door opened, and Serena burst into the room with a tray of fishsticks. "Hey Squalo, did you know that fishsticks have an earthly form? That's so cool!" she grinned, offering him one.

"Serena, Squalo and I were having a very important talk," their father cut in.

Their mother walked into the room, hands on her hips. "No food past the living room," she lectured.

"Oh Mom, Dad, what does porn mean?" she inquired, innocently chewing on a fishstick.

"...Well...uh..." Their mother looked around the room, murmuring incoherently. Her eyes found the photo album that was still in their father's hand. "What in the – we need to talk!" she growled, dragging their father out of the room.

The room was filled with silence. Squalo took a deep breath. "Nice one, Serena."

"Fishsticks. They're kinda...fishy..." she murmured, making a face.

"Yeah, the uh...earthly version's no good," Squalo lied, falling onto the bed. Honestly. This family was insane. "You remember what porn means, right?" he asked, just to be sure.

"It's a really awkward word because not many people know it, but it's a poisonous flower, right?"

He put a hand on her head. "Yup. Don't forget."

"Hey Squalo?"

"Hm?"

"If 'fishsticks' is a really awesome word, what does it actually mean?"

"I've got your back, and you've got mine."

Grinning, she threw a thumbs up. "Fishsticks!"

Well, have a nice day, ciao~ :]