Chapter 25

Maura stretched widely as she woke up late on a Saturday morning. Eyes still closed, she reached to her right to find her girlfriend and was disappointed when her hand only encountered cold sheets. She sat up quickly. She was surprised that she had slept through Jane climbing out of bed.

The dancer threw her toned legs over the edge of the bed and padded through the apartment; not bothering to put anything else on other then the t-shirt and simple pair of boy shorts she had slept in. She found her girlfriend sitting on the window seat, her hands cupped around a mug of coffee, looking down at the street below. The sky was overcast making it look as though they were in for a cold day. She paused for a moment and smiled to herself as she took in the sight of her detective. Long dark hair, curly and mussed from sleep, red and black flannel pajama pants slung low across her hips with a white tank top to top it off. 'So beautiful,' she thought to herself.

She continued towards her and placed a kiss on the top of her head before taking up the space opposite her on the seat. She pulled the cup of coffee from her hands as she cheerfully said, "Morning, babe!" She grimaced as she took a slug from the cup. The coffee had long run cold and the way that they took their coffee was not something that they had on common. Jane took hers practically black while Maura doctored hers up with creams and sweeteners.

Looking up from the mug, the honey blonde got her first real look at Jane's face. She couldn't complete read the expression in Jane's eyes but she knew it wasn't a good one. She placed a warm hand on her knew and asked, "Hey you what's doing on?"

Jane didn't respond at all. She continued to stare out the window in front of her. Maura reached up to take her chin in her hand to attempt to force her gaze but the other woman resisted. "Sweetie, what's up? Talk to me please?" Her hand returned to her leg, this time landing on her thigh.

She waited, hoping that her silence would encourage her to speak. When she finally did – Maura was shocked.

"Are you cheating on me?"

Maura pulled her hand away as if she had been burnt. "What?! How…why…I don't…" She dancer couldn't form the words to ask the questions she wanted.

"Is there something that Ryan has that I don't, maybe besides the obvious of course? Sorry I can't alter my genetics for you." Jane said with a cold tone.

"Ryan? Honey how do you…?"

Jane cut her off, "A text popped up on your phone this morning – I didn't mean to snoop or anything but I guess I am glad I did – it was just there on the screen when I was making coffee. 'Hey, babe, when can we get together so I can help you fix those problems you've been having?' Is that your fun little way of putting it to him? Your little nickname for me? 'The Problem?'"

"Jane it's not like that." Maura attempted to tell her but Jane was hearing none of it.

"I wanted to ignore it." Jane said, "It had to be something else but then I started to think about it…our sex life has dwindled a little in the past few weeks, which I never thought it would. I feel like almost every time I try to touch you I am shot down."

"Honey that's not true!" The honey blonde exclaimed as she placed her hand back on Jane's leg.

"When was the last time we had sex?" Jane asked.

Maura had to think about it...think a little too hard about it. "A month ago?" She said sheepishly.

"Exactly." Jane said. "Every night when we go to bed you kiss me, say goodnight and roll over. Sometimes wonder if you even want me to hold you." The detective tried to fight off the tears that were forming in her eyes. "I tried not to let it bother me and I was doing really well until I saw that text this morning. Then I started thinking about how you haven't been coming to lunch with me anymore either and I realized that we have been spending less and less time together then I actually really acknowledged. I wanted to go crazy and dig through your bag to see if you were hiding anything else from me and I actually tried to but I couldn't find your bag. Are you hiding condoms in your bag? Or something from him is that why you are hiding your bag?"

Maura wanted to tell her to stop that everything she was saying was completely wrong but Jane wouldn't let her get a word in.

"I found your keys though. You have an extra key on there that I don't recognize. The only thing that kept me from storming in there and waking you up is that it looked like it was for a mailbox and not someone's house. What could you possibly be hiding there? Does he send you love letters? Mail you messages about where to meet him? I couldn't take it anymore and I sat down to try to figure out where I went wrong, what I did wrong that could possibly make you want to go to someone else."

"Jane please don't think..."

"What the hell else am I supposed to think? Who the hell is he Maura? Do you love him? Is his dick good for you? Is it giving you everything I can't? Tell me, I want to know!" A few tears slipped down Jane's cheeks and it made Maura's heart break. The words that were coming out of her mouth stung but she couldn't blame Jane for thinking what she did. She understood how she could perceive the situation the way that she was.

Maura took a deep breath and told Jane the truth. "Ryan. That person that I got a text from...she...is my lab partner."

"What?" Jane asked, shocked and confused. "Lab partner?"

"I am going to school Jane."

"You are?" How could she not have known?

"I didn't want to tell you in case I decided that I couldn't do it. I wanted to get through some classes first to figure things out. I didn't want to disappoint you if I dropped out." Maura said quietly

"I could never be disappointed in you sweetie, but I am damn disappointed in myself right now." Jane buried her face in her hands and started to cry. "God I am the worst detective ever and a fucking awful girlfriend for accusing you of everything I just did!"

Maura crawled into her lap, wrapping her arms around her neck and her legs around her waist. "I am sorry for hiding it from you. If I had known that something like this was going to happen I never would've done it. I am sorry for hurting you."

"Oh God Maura no! I am the asshole here. If I would've just come and talk to you rather then ranting and raving and freaking myself out in my head then this never would've happened. I am so sorry!"

Maura just smiled, took Jane's face in her hands and kissed her firmly. The detective immediately buried her hands in her girlfriend's honey blonde tresses and deepened the kiss. They stayed that way, tongues dueling for dominance, before pulling away breathless. Jane held her closely with her face pressed to her pale neck until their panting subsided.

"I am being an ass all over again making this situation about myself." Jane said as she pulled back. "Please, tell me everything. What are you taking? How long has this been going on? What made you decide to do this?"

Maura made no move to crawl out of Jane's lap as she began to answer her questions. "Well, you know the day a few months ago when I ended up the station and stayed with your mom for a while and then went down to the morgue with Jordan?"

Jane nodded, neither of them bringing up the incident that lead to Maura being at the station to begin with.

"Jordan and I got to talking about my dreams of med school and things that I had wanted out of life. I told her how I didn't think it was possible anymore because of how old I am and the money factor, but then she started telling me about internships and the possibility of getting government aid to go to school which I didn't even know was possible. Things started to seem a little more real. She said she would pull some information together for me."

"That packet I brought home for you." Jane said as the pieces fell into place.

"It wasn't old medical journals for me to read. It was information on funding, scholarships, lists of classes, prerequisite classes that I would need to be considered for internships with the morgue."

Jane smiled widely seeing the excitement in Maura's green eyes. "So you enrolled."

"I did. I am taking a lot of entry level, basic stuff but it's required. I am halfway through my first semester. All my midterms were last week. I love my anatomy class. Ryan is my partner in chemistry. There is a section in my math class right now that is giving me a hard time so she offered to help."

"I am so proud of you." Jane said before kissing her.

"Don't be too proud yet!" Maura smirked. "I am still not sure of I can deal with it all."

"You will be fantastic!" Jane grinned.

"I am sorry that I have been so distant lately. With classes and homework and working, I guess it all affected me more then I thought. I am so exhausted all the time and I didn't realize it would be so hard to keep it from you. I even got a PO Box to send all my school information to so it wouldn't end up here. The thought of letting you down was the worst of all." Maura stated as she snuggled into her chest.

"Please don't ever think that!" Jane said as she stoked her hair. "I will always love you no matter what happens." She kissed her again, just hoping that the kiss would reaffirm what she had just said.

"I am sorry for deceiving you." Maura said as their lips parted.

Jane pressed a long finger to the other woman's lips, silencing her. "I don't want to hear you say you're sorry ever again. I am the one in the wrong here. I am the biggest idiot in the world for thinking everything that I did and I am sorry for it."

The dancer smiled and captured her lips yet again. "You're forgiven."

"How are you feeling now? Rested?" Jane asked with a smirk.

"I am feeling better then I have in a while." Maura smiled, "I feel a lot lighter now that you know everything."

"Well then, how about I take you to the bedroom and show you how sorry I am for being the biggest ass in the universe? For ever thinking that you would do something like that to me? For doubting your love for me? I will do whatever I can, for as long as I can, to make it up to you." Jane said sincerely.

The honey blonde just smiled, "I love you."

"I love you too." The other woman replied.

"And Jane," Maura started as she cupped her face with both hands, "Don't you ever think that there is something that I want that you don't have. You give me more then anyone that I have ever been with and while you may not have that one genetic thing that my body might have enjoyed before – that you might have enjoyed before for that matter – that's nothing that a trip to a special store or a quick search in Google can't fix."

Jane's eyes widened at her girlfriend's implication. "You've thought about something like that?"

"A few times," Maura admitted. She leaned in closely and whispered in her ear, "The thought of you inside me like that, filling me like that. I would be lying if I said I hadn't." She licked the shell of her ear and nipped at the lobe. "Now detective, take me to bed?"

Jane rose easily with Maura in her arms, "I will take you there but after everything you just said I can't guarantee I will ever let you leave!"

Maura smiled and kissed her while she carried her through the apartment, "As long as I can get to class on Monday!"

Definitely proud of myself for busting this chapter out so quickly. I hope you enjoyed it! Reviews would make my crazy first week at work even brighter!