Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.

Chapter Twenty- five

Cambridge, Maryland – December 29, 1846

It was late but Sully couldn't sleep. He needed to talk to Michaela. Things had been unresolved for too long and the distance between them felt like a chasm waiting to swallow him up. His conversation with John kept running through his head as well as Josef's comments about Michaela being naïve. Why did everything have to be so confusing? Sully knew that he had to face the inevitable. He would have to talk to Michaela and try to explain things but the thought of it petrified him.

The sound of footsteps on the stairs made him sit up in bed. They were home. Fighting the desire to go to her, he lay back down promising himself to seek her out first thing in the morning no matter how hard this conversation might be. A light tapping at his door made his heart race and he jumped out of bed, sprinting across the room.

Michaela stood there leaning against the door frame with the moon shining brightly through the window behind her. Her hair was a mess and he could see tiredness etched into her face. Sully met her eyes and was overwhelmed with the happiness he saw reflected there. He smiled at her and she returned the smile. The uneasiness that had settled in Sully's chest began to lift as he saw clearly the path that lay before him.

"Hello," she whispered not daring to move.

"You're back," Sully replied softly, fighting the desire to close the distance between them. They stood there just staring at one another simply enjoying the other's presence.

After a few minutes, Michaela broke the silence. "I guess I should go to bed. It's been a long day."

"I'm sure," Sully said smiling. "In the morning, could we talk?"

"I'd like that," Michaela whispered. She did not move towards him but simply reached her hand out in his direction. Sully met her fingertips with his then pressed his palm lightly against hers. "Sweet dreams, Sully."

"Night, Michaela" he breathed as he slowly withdrew his hand from hers.

Boston- December 30, 1846

Josef finished his morning rounds at the hospital and headed back to his office. The morning had been rather busy and he was looking forward to a few quiet moments to collect his thoughts. Anna's words continued to run through his mind and he was anxious to speak with Sully about the adoption. As he opened his office door, he glimpsed Elizabeth sitting in one of the chairs before his desk. Things had been tense since they returned from Maryland and her presence in his office meant no rest for the weary. He had the desire to close the door and simply leave her sitting there. Elizabeth rarely visited the hospital. In fact, Josef could count on one hand the number of times she had been there in the last five years. Reluctantly, he pushed the door the rest of they way open and entered.

"Elizabeth! To what do I owe this honor?" Josef asked as he greeted her with a light peck on the cheek.

Elizabeth was not here for small talk and she got right down to business. "I want you to telegram Anna and have the children come back immediately," she demanded.

"Why?" Josef asked as he furrowed his brows at her unusual request.

"I don't think we should have left Sully and Michaela alone together."

"They're not alone Elizabeth."

"Yes, but none of those people are responsible enough to watch the two of them," she fired back.

"Is this more of your Michaela and Sully have feelings for each other nonsense? You saw for yourself that your daughter likes that Thomas boy, not Sully."

"I think it was an act," Elizabeth replied.

"Right, Elizabeth. She made the whole thing up so that her and Sully could be alone together. Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?"

"I found this," Elizabeth said holding up Sully's sketch book.

"And what incriminating evidence does Sully's sketch book hold?" Josef patronized her. Hastily Elizabeth began flipping through the pages until she found the one that she was looking for. She turned it around so that Josef could see it. There in pencil Sully had done a sketch of Michaela curled up on the window seat in the library. Josef was impressed. He had only ever seen Sully draw landscapes or objects but never a person. The likeness was so remarkable that Josef felt drawn to touch the sketch.

"There's more like this," Elizabeth informed him. "In fact every page after this one is another sketch of Michaela." Josef flipped the page. The next one showed Michaela sitting against the tree in their backyard. Then there was one of her lying on the floor reading. The next few were only partially done as though he had been interrupted mid-picture. "So?" Elizabeth asked.

"So, I think he is very talented," Josef replied.

"You don't think it's strange that he is only drawing pictures of Michaela?"

"Elizabeth, do you know how many sketch books that boy has? Just because he only has sketches of Michaela in here doesn't mean he hasn't drawn other people as well," Josef reasoned. "Where did you get this anyway?"

Elizabeth blushed and exhaled loudly. "From his desk," she said quietly.

"You went through his desk?" Josef asked incredulously.

"Josef, he is a child under our roof. We have a right to know if our daughter is in danger." Josef laughed at Elizabeth's statement and not a small chuckle either. It was a full belly laugh that filled the office and resounded off the walls. "Hope this is just as funny when our daughter's innocence has been robbed from her."

This made Josef laugh even harder but as his wife became angrier and angrier, he began to get himself under control.

"Elizabeth, I know that this worries you but I can't see bringing the children back from Boston based on a hunch. Even if you are right, which I highly doubt, it won't matter soon. I plan to adopt Sully when they return from Boston."

A tremendous change came over Elizabeth when she heard the word adoption. "Thank goodness, Josef. I feel so relieved."

"Good, I live to make you happy," he said teasingly. Elizabeth cast him a reproachful look. "So do you think it would be okay for the children to stay in Maryland?"

"It's against my better judgment but I guess I will have to allow it," Elizabeth consented.

"Good. That's all settled. Will you be staying for awhile? I could take you with me on afternoon rounds?" Josef said smiling as he knew there was no way she would agree.

"No, I think I will be going. I promised Rebecca I would come over for lunch." Elizabeth stood and put on her cloak.

"I hope you and Rebecca have a wonderful lunch. Make sure to kiss the grandchildren for me." Josef walked Elizabeth to the door as he spoke.

"Certainly," Elizabeth replied. "I'll see you later at home." She leaned over and gave him a brief hug. Josef watched as she disappeared down the corridor before closing the door to his office and returning to his desk. The sketch book still sat in front of him open to a half finished picture of Michaela with her eyes closed. Josef chuckled again thinking about Elizabeth's comments. He wasn't even sure Sully had noticed girls yet.

Cambridge, Maryland – December 30, 1846

After a restless beginning to his evening, Sully found that after his brief encounter with Michaela, he had slept reasonably well. He was still extremely nervous about talking to her but the fact that they were on speaking terms again eased much of his tension. When he first woke up, he had headed out to the barn to help John with morning chores. Michaela's door was still closed then and he knew she was still asleep. After chores were completed, he had eaten breakfast with the adults and Marjorie while Ida told them about the day before. Sully only half listened as he kept an ear out for Michaela but she never came down for breakfast.

After breakfast, he tried to sketch. First, he worked on some unfinished pencil drawings that he had started the day before. Quickly he became dissatisfied with one after another, ripping them from his book and tossing them into the fire. When sketching failed to hold his attention, he tried reading but his thoughts continued to drift to Michaela. When he had reread the same page five times and still had no clue what it said, he decided to give up. The waiting was getting to him.

Just as Sully wasn't sure he could take it anymore, the morning room door opened. Expectantly Sully looked up hoping for Michaela. His face dropped slightly as Anna entered.

"Not the person you were hoping to see?" she asked.

"No, it's not that. I…," Sully stumbled over his words, feeling slightly guilty.

"Don't worry,' Anna reassured him. "Mind if I join you for a moment?"

"That would be nice," Sully said smiling at her. She walked over and sat down beside him on the couch.

"Sully, Josef and I were talking the other night and he told me about adopting you," Anna turned to look at Sully. Sully had dropped his eyes to his lap, feeling unprepared for this conversation right now. He had been focused solely on making things right between him and Michaela and had momentarily forgotten about the impending adoption.

"Yeah, he said we would try again after New Years," Sully replied.

"And how do you feel about that?" Anna asked. Sully shrugged his shoulders but did not open his mouth. Sully knew that Anna had some idea about him and Michaela but to actually verbalize his feelings seemed impossible at the moment. "Do you want Josef and Elizabeth to adopt you?"

"No," Sully finally said offering no explanation.

"Sully when Josef and I talked the other night, I encouraged him to ask you how you felt about the adoption. When you get back to Boston, I'm sure he will want to sit down with you and talk about it. You need to be honest with him, Sully." Anna advised. Sully looked away, not wanting to hear what Anna was saying.

"If you don't want to be adopted, you need to let him know."

"But if I tell him no, he'll want to know why."

"Tell him."

"Tell him why I don't want to be adopted?" Sully asked trying to confirm that he had heard her correctly.

"He's going to find out sometime. Don't you think it will be much easier for him to hear it from your own lips?"

"I don't know," Sully honestly replied.

"What's the worse you think could happen?"

"He might send me away." The words slipped out before Sully even was aware of what he was saying. Never had he voiced that fear, not even to Michaela. He looked to at Anna now fearing her silence. Gently she took his hand in hers.

"Do you really think he would do that Sully?"

"I don't know."

"I do know Sully. He isn't going to send you away. He loves you like a son. You need to be honest with him. So does Michaela. I'm not saying it is going to be easy. He might not like it at first but he'll get over it." Anna paused now unsure whether she had succeeded in convincing Sully to be honest with Josef. "Sully will you be honest with him?"

Sully sighed as he closed his eyes and leaned back against the couch. Honestly, he didn't know if he could tell Josef but he felt compelled to assure Anna that he would. "Yes, I'll be honest with him," he said in a small voice.

His words in no way assuaged the doubt in Anna's mind. She had tried. The question that remained was if she would tell Josef if Sully and Michaela didn't. She couldn't answer that now though. Even if it was unlikely she needed to give Sully and Michaela a chance to do the right thing. "Thank you, Sully," she said giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

The door of the morning room opened suddenly startling both of them. Michaela burst in expecting Sully to be alone and stopped in her tracks when she saw Anna.

"Good morning," Anna said letting go of Sully's hand.

"Good morning," Michaela returned giving her grandmother a wide smile.

"Don't worry, I was just leaving," Anna said as she passed Michaela to head out the door.

Michaela looked at Sully. "What was that about?"

Sully shrugged and shook his head. Then he took a deep breath readying himself for what he was about to do. "Ya ready to talk?" he asked.

"Sure," Michaela said as she joined him on the opposite end of the couch. "Things have been a little tense."

"Yeah," Sully agreed. "For several reasons." Michaela nodded at him. Sully wasn't sure how to begin. He knew what he needed to say but the words were having a hard time forming in his throat. His palms had gone all sweaty and he nervously rubbed them on his pants as he chewed on his bottom lip. "Michaela, I… this isn't going to be easy for me."

"Sully, relax. It's just me." Michaela tried to reassure him as she noticed how nervous he had become.

"I know you're upset with me 'cause I agreed with your father about ya bein' naïve but I'd like to try to explain."

"Go ahead," Michaela said a little tersely as she felt a slight anger at the use of that word in reference to her again.

"Things are changin' Michaela." Sully stopped as he thought about how stupid that statement had sounded.

"What things are changing?" Michaela asked growing nervous that maybe Sully no longer liked her in that way.

"Me. I'm changing." Sully blushed as he said it but Michaela didn't notice because her heart had suddenly frozen inside her chest. It was what she had feared. Thankfully, Sully noticed the panicked look on her face. "I mean my body is changin'," he said quickly.

"Your body? I don't understand."

"You looked panicked for a moment. I was afraid you thought my feelings for you had changed."

"They haven't have they?"

"No," Sully said emitting a nervous laugh. "No, they haven't."

"Good," Michaela said as she moved closer to him. She ran her finger lightly down the side of his arm. "So what about your body is changing?"

Sully's leg bounced up and down as he contemplated how to tell her without totally embarrassing her. "Sometimes, when you do things like that," he indicated the arm she had just touched, "my body sort of reacts." Michaela still looked confused. Quickly, Sully decided to change tactics. "Okay, forget that. You know how a woman's body tells her when it's able to have children." Michaela blushed but nodded. "My body is telling me that well…"

"I'm really hungry," interjected Michaela suddenly. She rose from the couch. "Do you think there's any breakfast left?"

"I'm sure Ida saved you something," Sully said giving her a confused look. Michaela started for the door. "What about our talk?" Sully asked.

"As soon as my stomach's full," Michaela called over her shoulder heading off for the kitchen.

"Guess, I'll join her," he said to the empty room and set off after her.

Marjorie had grown board with everything about Maryland. She hated being so far away from the city and she hated that the only people to talk to were servants, her senile grandmother or Michaela and Sully. After breakfast that morning, Marjorie has also had a hard time settling to anything and so she had decided to take a walk. She wasn't planning on going far because the day was rather cold. But as she began to walk, the sun quickly warmed her and she found herself enjoying being alone. Walking along the dirt path through the woods was very peaceful and even relaxing. Her thoughts drifted to home as she walked along. All she could think about was how she was going to miss the New Year's Ball at the Griffin's for some country party. This was Elizabeth's way of continuing to punish her for kissing that boy on Sully's birthday. Marjorie was sure of it.

A noise up ahead startled her and she stopped shielding her eyes against the sun in order to see. The boy who had invited them to the party appeared from around the bend. Marjorie hadn't counted on seeing anyone and was a little put off by his presence as he drew near.

"Good morning," he said giving a little bow in her direction.

"Good morning," Marjorie replied stiffly.

"I'm sorry I didn't catch your name the other day when I was up at the house."

"Marjorie," she answered.

"It's real nice to meet you, Marjorie. I'm Thomas. Are you Michaela's sister?"

"Of course- who else would I be?" Marjorie sneered.

"Sorry, just wanted to make sure. I know Sully isn't her brother. I didn't know if you were her real sister or not."

"Yes, I'm her real sister," Marjorie sighed. "And you are certainly right- Sully is not our brother."

"You don't like him very much, do you?" Thomas asked intrigued by the differences he saw between Marjorie and Michaela.

"Not really," Marjorie answered.

"Your sister sure likes him," Thomas continued.

"That's because my sister has spent most of her life acting like a boy. She fits right in with him."

"Where are you headed?" Thomas inquired.

"I'm just taking a walk," Marjorie replied.

"I was heading over to Miss Anna's house to see Michaela."

Marjorie rolled her eyes. "Well, I don't know if my sister is receiving visitors this morning; when I left she was holding court with Sully."

"What?" Thomas asked.

"Sully and she were holed up in the morning room having some serious discussion. Anna wouldn't even let me go in to get my gloves."

Thomas narrowed his eyes. He had felt so encouraged by Michaela's behavior the other day but this news felt like a blow to the stomach. "Your sister confuses the heck out me."

"Why?" asked Marjorie.

"One minute she seems somewhat interested in me and the next minute she acts like no one even exists except Sully."

"She thinks Sully is her brother."

"No, I think your wrong about that," Thomas said remembering the incident he had stumbled upon at the summer dance.

"What do you mean?' Marjorie asked.

Thomas considered Marjorie for a minute. He needed to use this situation to his full advantage and that meant he couldn't give away all his secrets right up front. "Now I don't think your sister would want me telling all her secrets."

"My sister doesn't have any secrets," Marjorie returned.

"I wouldn't be too sure about that," Thomas teased.

"Listen, I know my sister and she is extremely boring. I'm the interesting one," Marjorie said giving a little shake of her head.

"So you are," Thomas added leaning close to her ear. "But you might be surprised about your sister. She has more secrets than you know. Good day." Thomas turned to head home forgetting all about his plans to visit Michaela as there were new plans to be made and he was going to need his sister's help.

Marjorie was left speechless by Thomas' behavior. The way he had leaned in close to her had strangely thrilled and excited her. He was incredibly handsome and it wasn't like she was officially courting anyone at home. Did he really know something about her sister? If he did it must be something really good or he wouldn't have teased her so. Marjorie smiled to herself. This ball might turn out to be much more interesting than she had originally thought.

Sully watched as Michaela consumed her fourth biscuit loaded down with butter and jam. That was in addition to the eggs Ida had fixed her and the bacon she had eaten before the eggs were even ready.

"Ya done yet?" Sully asked.

"Why, do you want some?" Michaela asked as she held out the basket of biscuits.

"No, thank you," Sully said. "Uhh.. if you're gonna keep eating can I go ahead and tell ya what I was tryin' to tell ya before." Quickly Michaela jammed another biscuit in her mouth and mumbled something indistinguishable. Sully sighed loudly and stood up. "Okay so whenever you're ready, I'll be in the morning room." With that he left.

Michaela felt bad for putting Sully off but she had gone into panic mode as the conversation had taken such a personal turn. Now her stomach hurt from eating too much just to avoid talking. This was silly- she was going to have to face him sooner or later. She might as well get it over with. Rubbing her overfull tummy, she rose from the table and made her way back to the morning room.

As she entered Sully looked up and began to talk before she even had a chance to sit down. "There is no easy way to say this. The other day when we were in my room and you were touching me, I lied about needing to change my clothes." Michaela took a seat and gave Sully a puzzled expression. "If I had turned around… I was afraid… you make things happen to me," he finally spluttered turning a deep shade of crimson. He looked up at her seeing confusion written on her face. "Josef calls it arousal," he said, dropping his eyes to the ground.

"And that could lead to things we don't want to happen like…" was he really going to have to spell it out for her.

"Like making babies," Michaela completed his sentence as the same redness spread across her cheeks. Sully looked up, grateful that she had finally understood. "That can't happen Sully," she said her face growing serious as the previous day played through her mind.

"Michaela, I don't want that to happen but sometimes I can't control the way my body reacts. That's why I think maybe… we ought to be more careful."

"You mean with touching and kissing?" Michaela asked.

"Yeah," Sully said. "I feel bad cause I know I told ya to just act on your feelings. I didn't realize… I mean I knew but I didn't realize…"

"It's okay Sully, I get it. I think I get it anyway. But don't feel bad – you were right I guess I am a little naïve," she admitted smiling at him. "I didn't know or I never would have," she didn't complete the sentence but Sully knew what she meant.

"Michaela, I don't ever want to make you uncomfortable and I don't ever want to push you too far or disrespect you. Sometimes when we are close it's just hard for me to not feel certain ways."

"Sully, I trust you. I'm not worried about any of that. But I think I need to help by not doing whatever it is that makes you, well you know," Michaela finished dropping her eyes to the couch.

"Thank you," Sully whispered.

"Can I still hold you hand?" Michaela tentatively asked. Sully nodded and Michaela reached over and took his hand in hers. It felt good after the distance of the last five days. She relaxed back against the couch savoring the way Sully's hand firmly grasped her own. "We need to talk to Anna about the adoption," Michaela said. "I forgot with everything that has been going on. We don't have much time left."

"That's what we were talking about when you came in," Sully informed her.

"Really, what did she say?"

"That your father is going to ask me if I want to be adopted and that I need to tell him the truth."

"The truth?" Michaela raised her eyebrows. "The truth as in no you don't want to be adopted?"

"Yeah and she thinks I should tell him the reason," Sully added.

"You told Anna?" Michaela gasped.

"No, she just knew," Sully said.

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I don't think I can tell him but if I don't I'm afraid Anna will and I'm scared he might send me away." He looked at Michaela as he said this last line and saw the same fear reflected in her own eyes.

"We can't take that chance," Michaela said. Sully nodded his head in agreement.

"Someday we will have to tell him," Sully reminded her.

"I know but when we do we'll be grown up and he won't be able to separate us then." Michaela smiled at him and gently squeezed his hand. Sully returned the smile as a comfortable silence settled between them. Each was lost in daydreams of what the future held. Thinking about the time when they would openly declare their love for one another without caring what anybody thought. If only things were ever that simple.

Boston, 1866

Sully lightly ran his hand down Michaela's cheek. "I love you," he whispered bringing his lips down to gently kiss the sides of her mouth.

"And I love you," replied Michaela her eyes closed as she relaxed into Sully's embrace. The past few days had taken their toll on her and it felt good to be held and caressed. She waited anxiously for his lips to meld with hers and was surprised when she felt Sully pull her hair away from her neck so that he could plant kisses there instead. She bit her bottom lip as he reached the place where her neck joined her shoulder. Sully lightly ran his tongue along her collarbone causing Michaela to tremble.

"Sully," she breathed into his hair knowing they needed to stop but not really wanting to.

"Hmmm," he murmured as he kissed up the other side of her neck now. He pulled back slightly as he reached her jaw line, looking in her eyes to find a longing there that matched his own. Slowly he descended upon her lips, anticipating the way her tongue would hungrily seek his own. Ever so gently he nipped at her bottom lip with his teeth and Michaela gasped at this new sensation. Sully pulled back again smiling at her. Running her tongue over the place his teeth had been just moments before, she pressed herself into him as their lips finally met in a passion filled kiss. When Sully pulled back, Michaela was surprised.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Couldn't be better," he said.

"Why did you stop then?"

"You're making my body react," Sully said teasingly. Michaela blushed at his words. "Soon," he whispered bringing his thumb up to trace her kiss swollen lips.

"Soon," Michaela repeated as she touched the ring on her finger.

This is my first fan fiction. Please review and let me know what you think! Thanks for reading.