Disclaimer: I do not own CM

A/N: This is a LONG chapter in the making I hope you enjoy

Derek and Clooney were on their way to Pen's apartment when his phone started ringing. He wasn't going to answer it but he decided he better in case it was Hotch.

"Morgan"

"Derek, baby. How are you?"

"I'm good momma. How are you?"

"No complaints, baby. Except I don't see enough of you."

"I know mom. I'm sorry. I have some vacation time saved up and I'll come home soon I promise."

"Derek, I didn't call to lay a guilt trip on you. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Yeah, Ma, I am better than I have been in a long time. Why?"

"It was just a feeling I had and I had to call. I will talk to you soon baby. I love you."

"I love you too mom."

He got to Pen's apartment and knocked on the door and got no answers so he used his key. He let go of Clooney and shut and locked the door. He saw the Chinese food spread out on the kitchen counter. No sign of his Goddess.

"Baby Girl, where are you?"

"In the shower," he heard coming from the bathroom. "You can join me if you want."

"Sweetnesss…," he whined and he heard he throaty laugh as he managed to sit down and wait patiently for her to finish. He leaned his head back and took some deep breaths trying not to think about what she was doing in there and his body was refusing to cooperate. He heard the shower being turned off so he opened his eyes to see Garcia saunter out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel.

"Damn woman, can't you have mercy on a dying man."

Laughing she said, "I did have mercy I put on a towel. It's not my fault that you waltzed in here when I was in the shower."

"I'm just glad you didn't come to the door like that. I am going to take a shower I will be right out and then dinner and a movie and if you are good some cuddling on the sofa before bed. If not no movie and no cuddling and Clooney I go home after dinner."

"You sure you don't need me to wash your back/?"

"Penelope," he growled and she giggled. He shut the bathroom door and locked it. He stepped in the shower and turned it to cold and stood there for several minutes before turning it back to warm. Stepping out several more minutes later he grabbed the towel. He put his sleeping pants and a t-shirt on before going out of the bathroom. He saw his baby girl sitting on the sofa with the food on the coffee table waiting for him to come out.

"Hey there baby girl, you eating without me?"

"Never handsome, I just thought we could eat and cuddle," she said with a glint in her eye.

"Pen, I don't think that is a good idea."

"Come on Derek please", she said batting her eyelashes at him.

"Okay momma, but have mercy huh, he said sitting down beside her and he knew he was in trouble when she climbed on his lap.

"This is what you call mercy," he said laughing. How are we suppose to eat with you in my lap baby?"

"Like this silly,"she fed him from the plate she had pick up. He knew that there was only one place this would lead, but at this point he didn't care, she was smiling and happy. Half way through dinner they gave up eating and settled for kissing. Penelope had just placed her hands under his shirt when his phone started to ring. He decided to ignore it and kept on kissing her until the tenth ring.

"Morgan," he yelled into the phone.

"Morgan, its Hotch."

"Damn it Hotch, there better be dead bodies piling up somewhere. This is getting ridiculous."

"I'm sorry Morgan really I am, but I just got a call from Chicago PD."

"Chicago? Hotch what is going on?"

"Gordenski just called Buford's trail starts next week and you are needed to testify."

"Hotch, I thought they said they wouldn't need me. What happened to the other kids?"

"I don't know Morgan, but they say they need you."

"Hotch"

"I know Derek, I know. I booked you a flight for tomorrow night."

"Okay, I guess I will see you when I get back."

"Derek?"

"I know Hotch, do me a favor okay?"

"Sure."

"Take care of Pen while I am gone."

"Sure, bye"

"Derek, baby what is wrong?"

"I've got to go to Chicago tomorrow."

"For what?"

"Buford's trial. I have to testify."

"What?" She climbed off his lap.

"I am being called to testify." He stood up and began to pace. "Baby I gotta go."

"Derek, wait."

"Baby I will be back I swear, but right now I got to go." He picked up his keys and his phone and practically ran out the door. Penelope stared at the door long after he was gone. Finally she locked it. Sitting down she picked up her own cell phone.

"Hotch"

"Garcia, is everything okay."

"No, not really, Derek is gone and I am worried."

"Yeah I figured as much. He will be okay Pen."

"Hotch, he never talks about it."

"I know Pen but he will have to next week."

"That's not fair. He will be alone with no one in the court room on his side to hold him up."

"His mom and sisters will be there won't they?"

"No, I don't think they even know what really went on between him and Buford and even if they do he wouldn't want them to hear all the details."

"And I guess he won't let you go with him?"

"Hell no."

"We'll work out something. Try not to worry too much okay."

"I'll try and Hotch?

"Yeah"

"Thank you"

"Anytime Penelope."

Penelope closed her cell phone and sat on the sofa and waited. She fell asleep waiting. Derek returned three hours later expecting to see his Goddess in bed already, instead she was sitting Indian style on the sofa, asleep. He smiled. Clooney was sitting next to her standing guard, her hand curled around the scruff of his neck. Derek carefully removed her hand and woke Clooney putting his finger to his lips when it looked like Clooney was about to bark. He took him for a walk and returned as quickly. He found Pen in the same spot still sound asleep. He bent down and placed his lips on hers and her eyes fluttered open.

"Derek, your home," she said with a sleepy smile

"Yeah Baby Girl I am home." She wrapped her arms around his neck as he picked her up and carried her to bed. Once they were settled and she had her head against his chest she spoke again.

"Derek?"

"Yeah"

"I just want you to know if you ever want to talk about it, I will listen. I love you no matter what, you know that right?"

"I know baby. I just can't."

"Good night my love," she said as she placed one final kiss on his chest and closed her eyes.

"Good night my baby girl," he whispered back

Penelope awoke to the sound of whimpering a few hours later. Thinking it was Clooney she looked down at the foot of the bed to see him quietly snoozing. She looked up to see Derek's head moving from side to side as the whimpering continued.

"Derek baby it's ok. It's just a bad dream. Come on wake up and open your eyes for me." She shook him gently and his eyes popped open. She saw the terror, fear and saddess that he usually kept well hidden from everyone. "There are those beautiful eyes, hey handsome."

"Hey"

"Bad dream?"

"Yep"

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Nope, I gotta get up."

"Derek, it is THREE AM, where are you gonna go.

"Out," he said as he put his shirt and shoes on

"Wait and I will go with you."

"NO," he yelled. "I'm sorry baby. I need to be alone," he whisper as he shut the door.

Garcia knew the last thing Derek needed was to be alone, so she dressed quickly and headed to the place she knew he was. She arrived at the park and saw him sitting on the bench staring at the water. She went up behind him and put her arms around his shoulders before coming around to sit with him. She grabbed his hand and place it close to her heart. For a long time neither of them said anything.

"Pen you shouldn't have come here at this time of night by yourself."

"And who's fault is it that I had to come here alone."

"I'm sorry baby."

"You have nothing to be sorry for Derek." She could see the tears streaming down his cheeks. "I just wish you would talk to me, like you make me talk to you."

"I can't Pen."

"Why not Derek I am suppose to be your best friend and the woman you love remember."

"Baby I would give anything to be able to talk to you about this but I can't"

"No Derek, you won't talk to me about it."

"Baby, I just can't do it. I don't want you to see me different than you do now. I couldn't stand it if I were to see the way you look at me change because of what he did to me. It changed the way Hotch and Gideon looked at me. Do you know what it was like to look up and see them standing there and know that they had heard my deepest darkest secret and soon the whole team would know, my mom, my sisters, you. All of you look at me different know even though you don't know exactly what happened, you know enough. You all look at me different. Hell, Hotch wouldn't even give me a recommendation to take over the New York field office."

"Derek Morgan, you really don't believe that do you."

"I don't know baby. I don't know anything except one minute I was thinking how I couldn't get enough of you and the next thinking I have to go into court and tell what he did to me and I hadn't even told you and how I couldn't tell you now because it would be too much. After all we have been through this last week sharing this with you now would be too much." Penelope did not say a word she just put her arms around him and let him cry. The harder he cried the tighter she held him. She knew he was right sharing the horrors of what Carl Buford did to him would have to wait until they were both strong enough.