Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Luna: (amazed) IM A LEGEND! SCORE! I mean…uh…
Pro Zelos: 7 Death to Zelos: 6
Lloyd X: Sheena: 7 Colette: 4
Wow! Looks like Zelos made a comeback! And…looks like Colette will now have every girl's worse nightmare curse known as ' The Girl Who's Best Friends With Hot Guys Who Won't Date Her.' Anyway, thanks for voting! Next chapter will be the cut off for the votes and such.
Chapter 25: A Short Chapter
They traveled to Garocchia Forest. Where it was gloomy and filled with shade.
" Whoa! This place is pretty creepy," observed Lloyd, surveying the area.
" Wow! Its dark!" chirped Colette, cheerful as ever.
" Wow, Colette, your awfully cheery," said Zelos, smirking, " Do you like the dark? Lots of fun things can happen in the dark…"
" Or in a bathroom, or in a hallway, or an alley for you…" finished Genis.
" BLASPHEMY!" came a voice, " Too much sexual innuendoes that any living person should make!"
3 Papal Knights appeared, and glared at them.
" Whoops…My lustfulness has attracted the papal knights…" said Zelos, bored.
" Prepare to die! Your in the Pope's way!"
The fight
began.
The fight ended.
The fight wasn't all that interesting.
" We won, who saw that coming?" asked Genis, bored.
" What else? Make like a banana and spilt!" cried Lloyd.
The gang moved along to the Sorcerer's Ring changer thing. It changed the ring, and it gained the mystical power of sunlight.
" Hey, this time it emits light!" he cried.
" Like a lamp," said Genis, "…but not."
" What do we use it for?" asked Colette, " Tanning?…Wow…I have gotten pretty pasty pale, huh?"
" No." said Raine, abruptly.
" No? That I have a Hollywood Tan?"
" NO! As in no, its
not for tanning!" shouted Raine, " There's probably some plants
here that react strongly to light."
As the gang fought pumpkin
trees and zombies, Lloyd screamed, " Itchy Tasty!" for reasons
beyond his control.
That's when they came across a black treasure chest, that would later have something called a 'Devil's Arm,' in which they'd have to collect it all in order for Presea to gain the ever so happy title of ' Empty Soul' and have really bad weapons. Except for Raine. Because the 'Heart Of Chaos' just seemed to fit her well. ( Correct me if I'm wrong on that…I THINK it's the heart of Chaos)
" Whats with this thing?" asked Lloyd, " WHY WON'T IT OPEN?"
" My foreshadow senses tingle, and I'm guessing it has to do
with a pointless side quest later on…" said Genis, " there fore
we shouldn't mess with it until we've leveled enough that I can
take out one monster with just my kendama."
" Oh…Wow, I wish
I knew random foresh…fore…shadowing like you!" decided Lloyd,
struggling with the exotic word.
Near the exit of the forest, Colette abruptly stops.
" I hear footsteps from far away…" she trailed off.
" I don't hear anything," said Zelos, blinking, " Except the beating of hot-blooded chick's hearts all yearning for me!"
He was ignored.
" Colette's still schizophrenic," stated Raine.
" No, I'm not!" she pouted.
" It can't be good…whether it's a mental disease or actual reinforcements," said Lloyd, sighing.
" I'll send Corrine to go search the area, who does absolutely nothing and does basically no damage while I have Undine that can probably wipe the floor with whatever's coming," said Sheena, helpfully.
Corrine pops out of thin air, mumbles complaints, and then scuttles off.
That's when…DUN DUN DUN! The convict ( Regal) appeared!
" That's why it smelt like rotten eggs mixed with 3 year old sweaty grandpa socks!" cried Genis.
" Man, its just one problem after another!" whined Zelos, "
First, noone really loves me and then everyone treats me like a joke
and then girls use me for sex and then-"
" Wow…Zelos, your
pretty depressed." stated Genis.
" I AM NOT!" he screamed.
Everyone began to feel very uncomfortable just then.
"…I don't want to fight anyone," said Regal, "…Just let me speak to the girl."
" Over my dead body, pedophile!" cried Genis, readying his kendama to send an 'oh-so-deadly' fire ball at him.
" I never intended to kill anyone, my orders were to retrieve a girl who was apparently retarded," explained Regal.
" Me?" asked Colette.
" I will do you no harm…" said Regal, focusing on Presea,
then noticing her Exsphere, " Your yet another victim?"
Just
as Regal approaches, Presea seemed to come out of a trance and attack
him.
REGAL GAINED THE TITLE OF ' PEDOPHILE!'
" Oh no! Presea's in danger!" cried Genis.
"…Wait," said Lloyd, " it's the convict technically in
danger? She attacked him-"
" Shut up! I MUST BATTLE HIM TO
DEFEND PRESEA'S HONOR!" he cried, too far down to help.
He jumped into battle.
The battle began.
The battle was easy.
The man had his hands cuffed in some sort of kinky bondage deal, so it was wasn't too hard to kick his ass.
"…Wow, what kinky hand cuffs!" remarked Zelos, stealing the prior lines.
" He seems to have reasons for his actions," said Raine, suddenly, " Perhaps we should take him prisoner? I'm sure he has much to tell us. We'll just hold-"
" Hold your head high, heavy heart!" sang Lloyd.
"-him hostage a bit…"
Of course Raine only said this because she was sick of being around people much younger than her. Besides, since Kratos was a traitor and all; she had lost all eye candy.
Finally, Corrine comes stumbling back, battered and bruised.
" Sheena! I just got kicked by several soldiers!" she/he cried, " RUN!"
" I really should've summoned Undine…" she mumbled, "
Let's go!"
" The foot steps…keep getting louder,"
announced Colette, then winced, " louder…louder…STOP IT! MAKE
IT STOP! AHHHHHHHHH!"
" Uh…Once the overly happy one has a
break down, I think that's a sure fire reason to run," said
Zelos, watching in horror and morbid fascination as Colette clapped
her hands over her ears and screamed bloody murder.
" Yeah, and if they didn't know we were here before, they sure as hell do now," said Genis, pointedly.
" Looks like we have no choice…" said Sheena, " I'll
take you to Mizuho."
" Whoa there, Sheena!" cried Zelos, "
Isn't Mizuho all secret and mysterious?"
"…No. That just
attracts the tourists."
" I-"
" I think we have an
emergency! I think we have an emergency!" sang Lloyd, " If you
thought I'd leave then you were wrong-"
" I think we should go now…" finished Raine.
" What? Someone soiled themselves?" asked Genis.
" No…it was just…my condition." said Lloyd, sheepishly.
" Hey, Zelos, carry the convict for us, eh?" asked Sheena, walking off.
" What? By myself? I may pull something!" he cried.
Colette picked him up with one hand, humming.
"…My ego has been bruised beyond repair." said Zelos, hurting.
So, they traveled to the Mizho Village. Where many a tourist were.
" And this," said a ninja, in front of eager tourists, " Is
the mystical well!"
Several people took snap shots of it.
" And this," he continued, moving onto the entrance, where
Sheena had just entered, " Is where you can exit and get some gifts
before you leave. Like the mystical smoke bombs to delight and cause
a crowd at parties! Or the mystical cards that will do more than give
you paper cuts-"
Sheena tapped him on the shoulder, "
Orochi…"
Orochi turned around, then cried, " Sheena! Have
you brought more tourists?"
"…No. These are my friends from
Syvalrent."
"…You mean the chick you were supposed to kill and…"
Sheena
nodded, scarlet with embarrassment.
" I see…Okay, you all wait in front of the Chiefs. I need to have a chat with Sheena…"
Sheena leaves with Orchi, leaving the tourists to get caught in tourists traps. In which water bottles cost 5 bucks and candy bars are 3.
Regal finally wakes up, and some how gets to his feet without
using his hands. Plot Hole 33, anyone?
" Where am I…?" he
asked.
" Your our prisoner!" cried Lloyd, " don't try anything funny! Like juggling!"
" I'd like to think its impossible to juggle with my hands bound…" he said, slowly.
" Oh. Oh yeah!"
" Excuse retardo," said Genis, " he
means don't do anything to escape."
Lloyd goes over to the hut
thing where Orchi is, conning more tourists to buy 'mystical good
luck charms' that were actually just plastic Mickey Mouse ones with
the decals scrapped off.
" Oh…the Vice Chief is in to see you now." he said, dismissively.
Inside, they entered. And sat down. On some mats. Luna is so descriptive today.
" My name is Tiga," said the Vice Chief, " Our Chief is a
vegetable-"
Sheena coughed.
" And since someone didn't kill someone-"
Sheena coughed
harder.
" We now face persecution from the Church of Martel."
Sheena needed Ricola.
" Really?" asked Lloyd.
" Yes…Now, what do you plan to do here, in the land of your enemies?" asked Tiga.
Lloyd stopped to consider.
" I've been thinking about that for a long time. Someone asked
me why I came all the way to Tethe'alla…what it is that I want to
do. I want a world where everyone can have a normal life. I'm tired
of people having to become sacrifices. I'm tired of discrimination.
I'm tired of people becoming victims. I'm tired of it all." he
said, " I'm sick of being tired and tired of being sick."
"You
are an idealist. The worlds of Tethe'alla and Sylvarant flourish
only by victimizing the others. So long as that structure remains the
same, anything you say is mere sophistry." said Tiga.
LLOYD OBTAINED TITLE OF ' UNREALISTIC IDEALIST!'
" Yeah! And now all we have to is kick this Yggdrisil guys ass cause violence solves everything!" cried Lloyd.
Tiga laughed.
" Your such a fool. You speak like Mithos, the hero. If he was a
sick sadist…"
" I am not Mithos! I'll use the power of
violence and friendship to conquer the evil in the world!"
"
Think about what you said…" said Genis.
And with that, Tiga agreed to back Lloyd.
Simply because his ideas seemed so bad that they were good.
Luna: A short chapter, I know…the next will be longer. Songs: Phrase that pays-The Academy Is, ' Emergency-Paramore, some Taking Back Sunday Song.
