Keep cool; anger is not an argument - Daniel Webster

Chapter Twenty Five - Testing Times

A week later and Maura had a lot of varying results. When Maura mentioned potential dates for either herself or Jane, Jane always managed to find something wrong with them, however they weren't exactly the kind of men Maura usually dated so Jane had an easy time finding problems with them.

She also took to wearing skirts that were a little shorter than her usual work skirts and blouses that were slightly tighter to gauge Jane's reactions. The day she wore the dark grey skirt with the slit half way up the side was very entertaining for Maura as she knelt by the body and showed most of the side of her leg. She observed Jane's jaw drop slightly as her gaze wandered before she pulled herself together. She then saw the officer next to her ogling Maura so she had grabbed him by the scruff of the neck, told him to have some respect for the lady and exiled him to sign in duty at the police tape before she suggested to Maura that she might want to change into an M.E. jump suit to protect her clothing.

She also began touching Jane as much as she could get away with. Whether it was placing her hand on Jane's arm when they were talking or running her hand through her hair as it was 'a bit out of place' or her personal favourite of pulling her places by her hand. Jane seems to fall easily into this habit and Maura, more often than not, felt Jane's hand in the small of her back as she led Maura through the doors or playful taps to her backside or lingering touches to her hands when she was tearful during their movie nights. However some of the best opportunities for Maura to test her theory came the very next day. She had talked Jane into trying yoga again and they made their way there, Jane grumbling the whole way. She almost rethought her plan when Jane took off her hoody to reveal a short sports top that showed off the detectives toned stomach. She flirted with Brock (the instructor) and noticed that Jorge was staring at Jane. An idea formed in her and she quietly set up a double date with her, Jane, Brock and Jorge. After the class started there was little time to discuss the date but she did have time to watch how adorably clumsy Jane was. Being unable to complete the positions did however make Jane grumpy.

"This hurts." She whispered to Maura.

"Pain is only in the mind." Maura whispered back ignoring Jane's pout. Brock told them to raise their right legs and Jane quickly turned her attention back to her mat as her eyes had lingered for too long on Maura's backside.

"I can't feel my legs." She whispered back to Maura as they were told to move into another position. Jane fell over as she tried, too late, to raise her right leg and Maura's position was corrected by a flirting Brock who then asked them to return to the downward dog position. Jane glared at him and this wasn't lost on Maura, she smirked to herself. "My mind has a cramp." Jane complained to Maura unhappily.

"You know that guy? He keeps smiling at you? Jorge?" Maura asked her, nodding towards Jorge. "He just broke up with his girlfriend."

"Really." Jane asked, interested.

"Double date tomorrow night?" She asked hopefully.

"No!" Jane whisper yelled and was shh'd by several people in the class.

"Sorryy." She cringed. "What does he do?" Jane asked.

"Medicine." Maura whispered. Here were her half truths at work again. Jorge was very proud of being a male nurse but she had no doubt that Jane would have laughed if she told her.

Jane's phone then rang and there were more shh'ing sounds from the room as a whole.

"Oh alright." Jane snapped. "Rizzoli." She answered. Brock crouched in front of her and Jane stared guiltily at him before replying "Ok" to the dispatch officer on the phone. She looked up to see Brock in front of her.

"Mindful awareness is what can subdue the primitive consciousness," he told her and Maura almost laughed, knowing she would be confused. "And bring the physical body in control of the will."

Jane looked blankly at him, she had no idea what he had just said, "I totally agree." She replied, figuring it was the safest course, "I have to go." She hurried as she stood. One, she did really have to go and two, she really did hate yoga.

"Yeah you can't leave before savasna."

"Corpse pose." Maura translated, clearly shocked at the idea of leaving early.

"Maura!" Jane yelled, "Let's go." She insisted, she then turned to Brock. "Thank you." She smiled sweetly.

"Namaste." Maura said as she stopped in front of Brock on her way out.

"Namaste." He replied with a smirk.

Jane rolled her eyes, she really didn't need to see Maura making flirty eyes at another guy who was not good enough for her. "Come on!"

As they made their way to the scene, Maura tried to gauge Jane's reaction to the idea of them both dating the guys from yoga. When she tried to talk to Jane about it, she changed the subject.

When they got to the crime scene, Frost teased Jane that Maura had been able to convince her to go back to yoga before they focused on the victim. As Maura was carefully examining the victim and talking to Jane about it, Jane did her usual routine of guessing the COD and telling Frost what to look for. As Jane commented on how said it was for relationships that the first person that was suspected was the husband or boyfriend, she found the victims iPad and turned it on to find a picture of her with her wife.

Jane questioned the wife with Frost whilst Maura did the autopsy. After she had got all the information she could from the wife, she walked into the morgue and smirked at the sight of Maura taking a lot of time to make sure the sutures were done correctly and neatly. She took a brief second to admire how Maura looked before reverting to her usual sarcasm.

"Oh come on, it's not like she has to worry about the scar!" She said affectionately exasperated.

"Don't rush me." Maura smiled up at her.

"Well multitask then, time of death?" Jane asked.

"The core temperature I took hepatically was 88.4 degrees." She saw the blank look on Jane's face and clarified, "Killed between two and three am."

There was a pause as Jane took this in. She looked at Maura and decided to see how much information she had on Jorge and maybe agree to this double date. She had to do something to take her mind off Maura. He was good looking enough to fit the bill. She had to make it seem like she wasn't interested though, she couldn't let it look like she was ok with being set up.

"Jorge say anything about me?" She asked. Maura looked up, interested. She hadn't thought Maura was actually interested in Jorge.

"Yoga Jorge?"

"No, jaunty lube Jorge."

"Oil change? I don't go there, total rip off." Maura said, knowing she was changing the subject.

"Maura come on, what'd he say about me?" Jane whined.

"He said 'sure' ... When Brock asked about a double date."

"No, I'm not going."

"Oh Jane." She really wanted Jane to go. She had to see what Jane's reaction to her being woo'd by someone was when she could see it first hand. She knew it was cruel if Jane was actually attracted to her but if she wasn't she would know for sure.

"What about DNA substance from the sexual assault?" Jane asked.

"No semen but I did collect some deerskin fibres." Maura advised.

"So we're looking for Bambi?" Jane snorted.

"No. Deerskin apparel."

"Moccasins? A tepee?" Jane prodded.

"Well tepees are generally constructed from buffalo hides." Maura corrected, knowing it would wind Jane up a little.

"Wow, urgh! You are so literal." Jane groaned.

"But deerskin actually has great tactility. Small pores make it soft, tough." Jane looked grumpy at this so she decided to just tell her. "Work gloves."

"So not prints ..." Jane sighed. Maura leant back over the body.

"Oh!"

"What?" Jane asked excitedly, clearly wondering what she had found.

"Jorge thinks you're hot."

"Forget it!" Jane replied.

"Come on Jane, listen to me. Every time he looks at you he contracts his orbiclaris occuli and pars orbitalis."

"Gross."

"It's facial muscles." Maura explained, "Please." She begged, pouting slightly.

Jane already knew she would end up going to this double date but decided to have some fun with her friend. "Only if you tell me what killed her." She fluttered her eyelashes. She knew Maura hates to guess so this would be fun.

Maura frowned and tried to come up with something, she didn't have conclusive COD yet. "There should be more blood associated with her facial lacerations." She ventured.

"I'm going to have so much fun on my couch alone." Jane smirked.

"And it looks like the assault and the rape happened post mortem." She sighed, she hated being rushed. Jane was the only one who could make her guess and she knew that she was just doing this today to tease her.

"What?" Jane asked, this had grabbed her attention and she turned serious again. "She was raped and beaten after she was killed? So what killed her?"

Maura grimaced. She had known that Jane would have wanted to know that and wouldn't have been distracted. "I don't know yet." She almost whined.

"Well I don't know when I'm gonna have time for dinner."

They stared at each other for a few seconds until Maura blurted, "An adrenaline response to panic over stressed her heart which was already compromised by diabetes."

Jane smirked, she had got her answer but then frowned again, "So why rape and beat her once she's already dead?"

Maura picked up a light pen. "Look at this ..." She shined the pen light on the back of the woman's hand. "Merch." She said.

"Mm hm" Jane said, not understanding this.

"Means girl in Welsh." Maura told her.

"Since when do Lawyers have club stamps?"

After leaving Maura in the morgue, she and Frost headed to Merch to speak to the club owner. The only lead they could get was a leaflet for a group who disliked gays. Jane's heart dropped. She had always been angry at the way some people chose to treat each other for the way some people chose to live their lives. As far as she had been concerned, things like race, gender, age and sexuality were not choices, they just were. So having bigots put people down for these reasons filled her with anger. She had always had some taste of this with being a female detective but since she had discovered her true feelings for Maura, she felt more strongly about it. They contacted the President of the Sons and Daughters of Adam and had him some to the station to assist with their enquiries. He arrived later that day looking relaxed and whistled as he entered the squad room but stopped abruptly at the look on Jane's face.

"Sons and Daughters of Adam," Jane said as she slid the leaflet she had taken from the owner of the club, "That's your catch phrase, isn't it?"

"I'm offended to see sacred words associated with pornography." He said turning his head but Jane noticed that his eyes remained fixed on the picture of the two women kissing. She smirked internally. She knew the type. If she checked his browsing history or credit card history she was sure she would find a few 'questionable' purchases or downloads.

"How about associated with murder?" Frost asked.

"I think it's interesting that they sent a female and an African American to interview me about a homosexual murder." He smirked.

"You don't like women or African Americans either?" Frost asked.

"Well I have a right to my opinion." He said.

Jane wanted to hit him. "Only if you don't enforce it with a two by four." Jane replied.

Frost, sensing danger in her voice, said, "We're gonna need to see a list of your members."

"Oh surely." He pulled out a very thick book, "I came prepared."

Jane looked appalled. "Those are all members?" Frost asked.

"We're national." He replied with pride. At Jane's look he continued with, "Satan is using homosexuals to destroy the Kingdom of God."

Oh please, Jane thought to herself but turned to Frost and said, "Be on the look out for a man in a red cape with a tail and pointy ears." Her voice dripped with sarcasm and Frost had to hide his smirk.

"I will pray for you." He told them.

"No thank you. I'll do it myself." She couldn't stand the thought that the God she prayed to was the same God this bigot prayed to. They got rid of him fairly quickly after that and an hour or so later Maura text Jane to remind her of the time and place for their double date that night. As she made her way to the table where Maura, Brock and Jorge were sat, she fidgeted in her dress. Maura looked gorgeous and she was late. As she apologised to everyone, she purposefully kept her gaze on Jorge, especially as the evening wore on and Brock was all over Maura. So when Jorge asked if anyone wanted coffees or deserts she took her opportunity to start to make her exit.

"Actually it's getting kind of late." She smiled.

"You know I think I need to use the ladies room. Jane will you join me?" She asked.

"No I don't need to go." Jane smiled politely.

"Mm hmm." Maura said as she moved to lean down to speak into her ear. "I think you do."

"I need to go to the ladies room. Excuse me." Jane said, super sweetly.

She stood up and followed Maura only to almost walk into Maura once they were out of sight. "Oh!" She exclaimed, slapping her hand over her mouth to stifle the sound.

"Sshh!" Maura whispered.

"I thought you needed to go to the restroom." Jane whispered back, laughing slightly.

"No, that was a ruse. Well, do you like him?" She asks quickly, getting straight to the point.

Jane leans back slightly so she can see Jorge again, mainly to give her time to think. When she leans back she makes up her mind. "He's sexy." She smiles.

"Hm mm, yeah." Maura agrees. "I think you should take him home."

"Maura!"

"What? You said he was sexy." She reasoned.

"Well just 'cause I like the way he looks in yoga class doesn't mean I'm gonna like the way he looks in my bed."

"Right." Maura agreed. She needed to know if Jane would consider another man so she went back to science. "But did you know that sex releases immunglobulin A? It wards off colds." She smiles happily. Jane smiles back and despite both their best efforts they imagined the other in their beds rather than their current dates.

"No." Jane shook her head, trying to clear her head of the sudden image of Maura laying beneath her, looking flushed. "Not tonight ... And I didn't shave my legs."

"Ah." Maura says and pulls out a little shaving kit. "Nice try." She smiles at Jane. Her head was now filled of images of Jane in the bath slowly pulled the razor down her slick leg. She pulls herself together in time to hear Jane reply.

"What kind of person are you?" They both laughed, Maura got Jane to quickly shave her legs and they each left with their dates. Once she was alone with Brock, she came up with some excuse and went home to worry about what was happening with Jane and Jorge. The next morning, she was still worrying as she met Jane outside the station.

"Really?" Jane asked loudly.

"That bad?" Maura asked, grinning internally. It had gone badly, did that mean she just didn't like Jorge? The previous evening she had seen the frustrated looks that she had been throwing her as she had canoodled with Brock but was it jealousy.

"I had always thought you couldn't lie, Princess." Jane asked heatedly.

"What do you mean? I can't." Maura defended.

"You did!" Came Jane's retort.

"Only one time when I said I'd finished my homework and I hadn't and I immediately went vasovagal but that was before I met you."

"Jorge's in medicine?" Jane asked, sardonically.

Ah, now Maura understood. "Technically, yes, he is."

"What's his speciality? Lactation?"

"Orthopaedics ..." She defended then paused. Why was she defending Jorge? "Joe Grant was a detective, he was sexy and he was the perfect man for you."

"Well I kinda liked him." She lied, not for the first time being grateful that she could lie even if Maura couldn't.

"Yeah well you butted heads with him until he moved to Washington." She reminded her.

Jane grimaced, "So you set me up with Nurse Jorge?"

"Well I ..." She started, she did hook her up with him but only because she wanted to see her reaction when she herself was on a date. "I just ... yes." She giggled at the absurdity.

"It's not funny." She said and opened the door for Maura to enter ahead of her. "He wants to be a stay at home Dad. We've just met and he's already planning out kids ... no, not happening."

Maura understood where she was coming from with this so she changes the subject.

"Lunch today?" She asks, "We could try that new Thai place."

"Sure Maur." She grinned. They parted at the elevator and Jane made her way up to the squad room.

"Hey." She said to Frost. "Anything come up on those background checks?"

"Still waiting on that bouncer from the club. No red flags on anybody here." He replied pointing at the list of members from the Sons and Daughters of Adam. She felt a twinge of disappointment at this but this was quickly overridden with annoyance with the arrival of Korsak and what he was carrying. "Somebody's got a boyfriend." He smirked in a sing song voice.

"Somebody should mind his own business." She sing songed back. Korsak grabbed the card from the flowers and Jane tried to make a grab for it. "Wait! No!"

Korsak didn't open the card but put it to his forehead like he was a psychic and said, "Your eyes are like pools of midnight."

"No." Jane laughed uncomfortably, "Come on." She said reaching once again for the card.

"What?" Frost asked grinning. "What?" He was handed the card as Korsak again avoided Jane. "Your lips are like tempur-pedic pillows!" He smirked.

"Really?" Jane frowned. "Just give ..." She reached again and missed. "Just ..." And with a final swipe managed to grab the card, she opened it and read it aloud. "Dinner Saturday, I'm already in the kitchen, Jorge." She rolled her eyes at the message.

"Sounds kinda sissy to me." Korsak grunted and Jane laughed.

"Hey guys cook." Frost defended.

"Yeah no." Korsak replied.

"It's a match." Frost said suddenly.

"Excuse me?"

"The bouncer, Robert Thatcher, that's an alias. Real name is Roy Tompkins." Jane had moved to view Frost's screen.

"So that's why he lied. Look at that. Outstanding warrant, New York City ... for criminal assault. Come on." She smiled at Frost. As they start talking to the bouncer, he tries to run but Frost disables him and they get him back to the station for interrogation. Jane gets a text from Maura saying 'I'm in the observation room. It's important I speak to you.' She left the interrogation straight away.

"What is so important?" She asked as she walked into the room.

"Jorge dropped off lunch for you." She smiled holding up the basket she was carrying. Jane didn't answer, instead she glared at Maura before turning on her heel and started to walk out of the room. "That's not why I interrupted you." Maura said quickly. Jane turned back to face Maura and looked at her expectantly. "I extracted the killer's DNA from the murder weapon."

"Who is he?" Jane asked, excitement coursing through her as it always did when she was close to catching a killer.

"Well, there was no match in CODIS but it's not a he. It's a she."

Jane blinked. "The killer is a woman."

Maura nodded. "I have a full report downstairs, you up for a walk?" She asked. Jane nodded and they headed down to the morgue. Jane filled Maura in on the bouncer and then they arrived at the morgue. "The deerskin fibres I lifted from the murder weapon ..." Maura started.

"Were from the killer's gloves." Jane finished. Maura nodded in agreement. "Seams were breached and the DNA tests confirmed that the sweat was from a female."

"We already know that, and a male accomplice raped her." Jane filled in the blanks.

"No. Injuries are consistent with a non biological phallus-shaped object." Maura advised. Jane looked at the lab tech uncomfortably before replying under her breath. "You mean a dildo?"

Maura paused, fighting the urge to laugh at Jane's expression. "Yes I believe that is the popular term for it." Maura agreed. "But did you know that a 28,000 year old stone phallus was recently found in a German cave? The Ice Age men were using it for knapping flints."

"Yeah, Ice Age women were using it for making sparks too." Jane said without realising she was speaking out loud. Maura giggled and Jane turned slightly red before refocusing on the case. The thoughts of dildo's around Maura was very distracting. "Ok so if she wasn't raped it was probably not a hate crime. It wasn't a robbery." She thought out loud. "I'm beginning to think this was personal." She smiled grimly at Maura. "Come on, let's go check in with the guys. Maybe they've found something." When they got to the squad room, Korsak told her a delivery guy had been with a gift basket for her. Jorge had sent her a chocolate and flowers gift set. She rolled her eyes and went to file Maura's report.

"I wonder if Jorge read the CHUMP study." Maura pondered aloud.

"CHUMP study, he probably wrote it." Jane replied.

"Chocolate Happiness Undergoing More Pleasantness study, yeah it actually concluded chocolate makes us happier." She smiled at Jane.

"Chocolate from Jorge makes me sadder." Came the disgruntled response.

"Mmm flowers." Maura said, smelling the flowers before her. "Flowers have been shown to reduce depression. Come on Jane, Jorge's a catch."

"If you don't want them, can I have them?" Korsak asked, eagerly.

"Jorge? Yeah he's all yours." Korsak walked off in a huff. "Maybe if I get fat he'll stop calling."

Maura frowned slightly, squirting moisturiser in her hands. "I just think if you allow him to see all sides of you, he'll stop calling." Maura said without realising she had insulted her friend. All three of the Detectives looked at Maura as she finished, a little shocked. Maura looked up and frowned before realising what she had said. "You know what? I just heard what that sounded like, and that is ... what I meant to say was that human beings have good and bad traits, you know?" She stuttered, she had only meant that he would realise that Jane didn't like him and their interests weren't shared, not that he wouldn't like what he saw. "And you have, you know, some characteristics that are a little ... not as ... as umm ... wow, fudge clusters." She changed the topic and picked up the little bag, she knew she'd show her true feelings if she finished what she was trying to say.

Frost cleared his throat in amusement. "Katie was deleting her browsing history on her computer."

"Why? What was she hiding?" Jane asked, at Frosts shrug she continued. "Have we checked the wife's alibi?"

"It's solid. Tracked all her calls to ER, 911. Alarm company confirmed she activated her home alarm at 10:03 PM, didn't break the circuit again till 6:17 AM."

"She didn't do it?" Korsak said.

"How do you know?" Jane asked.

"Got Mel's scorecard from the night of the murder. She's a hell of a bowler. She had a turkey."

"Well, why would she do that?" Maura asked, confused.

"That's three strikes in a row, Maura." Jane patiently explained.

"Wish I could get her for our team, but you gotta be divorced."

"Can you try to restore all that history that deleted?" Jane asked, her attention back on Frost.

"Let's give it a shot." He smiled, picking up the laptop and heading towards the coms room. Jane followed but then turned around to watch what she knew would happen. Maura reached for the fudge clusters and, smiling happily, she started to walk away towards the morgue.

Jane cleared her throat and raised her eyebrows at Maura with a smirk and followed Frost, just catching Maura's comment of "Really delicious."