Writer's Note: Originally written for Avatar_500 over on Livejournal, for the prompt "Mad". Contains spoilers for "The Boiling Rock" duet.

Freedom's Stranger

It was easy to go crazy in prison. Easier, still, when it seemed that the soldiers guarding you seemed to encourage it. They certainly seemed to encourage it for the others, so why would Suki think she was special?

And certainly, they tried. They found it amusing that she, the leader of a group of foreign warriors from the Earth Kingdom, had managed to get herself beaten and captured. They spared no moment mocking her because of it.

"Looks like you're far from home, huh, warrior girl?"

"Your little groupies aren't here to protect you, now."

"What a proud little specimen you are."

And so on. Suki eventually learned to tune them out. That irritated them, but to their credit, they never hurt her for her insolence - she was too valuable to injure. Azula hadn't spared her this, but the soldiers of Boiling Rock apparently were trained to.

In her single cell, she had tried to keep her body and mind fit. She moved through practised forms, swinging imaginary fans and swords, moved and ducked around imaginary enemies. But instead of keeping her energised and giving her purpose, she just felt tired. Dismayed. Disappointed that she hadn't been able to fight for herself and her Warriors.

When exercise failed, she tried meditating. While Kyoshi Island wasn't big on it, Suki and her Warriors had come across it in their travels and found it useful for their training. However, instead of being able to listen to her thoughts and let them go, she found herself dwelling on them, overanalysing them, trying to find answers where they never were.

Pretty soon, she found herself unable to get up from the cot. She found that all she wanted to do was just lie there and think about nothing. She didn't care about her body. She cared even less about her mind. She had no purpose here. She had no reason to fight.

She felt her sanity slipping away, replaced by dangerous and reckless apathy. When others came together and tried to plan their way out, Suki merely sat down in a corner and let herself droop like a wilted flower. She scorned these optimists, found their eagerness for brighter days loathsome.

Sometimes, deep in the night, Suki found herself thinking. Sleep made her vulnerable, and she found herself unable to brainwash herself from the folly of thought.

I wonder if anyone even knows I'm here.

I wonder if the Island has fallen yet.

Are the other girls okay?

What about Sokka? Aang? Everyone else? Were they okay?

I never thought I'd miss the taste of salted fish.

I wish I had found a way to smuggle in a hairbrush.

I would kill to see any other colour than a shade of red.

I miss you, Sokka… Do you miss me, too?

Thoughts like these, these normal and innocent thoughts brought by melancholy, chipped away at her iron will and threatened to make her crumble.

Just like Azula had hoped. She had won.