Summary: Naruto and Itachi make a beautiful team, but even beautiful teams need a back up plan to secure a win.

World Status: Completely AU.

Pairings: ItaNaru

Plenipotentiary.

.

Invested With Full Power.

.

25/01/10

.

"You better fucking be there," was the threat that had come with the envelope and Naruto really, really didn't want to catch Sasuke on a warpath. Hell, Sasuke was scary enough on a normal day, let alone when he was angry.

He'd even got a normal present, something practical and useful. Sasuke had been bitching about how his brother stole his chocolate stash, so Naruto had bought as much chocolate as he'd been able to carry. The result was a wrapped basket, full to the brim of Sasuke's favourites.

He deserved bonus points for his troubles, really.

The house he walked up to was larger than his own and looked as if it had a massive garden. It backed onto woodland and Naruto knew there would be more than one scary stories told about that place. No wonder nothing scared Sasuke when he lived here.

The doorbell was a classic ring, polite and sweet. A dark haired woman opened the door with a sigh.

"Here for Sasuke?"

Naruto nodded and the woman smiled.

"Nothing against you guys, but I'll be glad when the house is normal again. You'd think he's a kid the way he's been planning this. Even got us to set up a proper treasure hunt for you."

"I'm Naruto," he introduced himself, hefting the basket onto the other arm so he could shake hands with the woman. She smiled and took his hand.

"Sasuke's mother. Call me Mikoto and just yell if there's anything I can get you. You're a lovely young man Naruto!"

Naruto wandered down the hallway, following the chatter of teenagers. He was scared, again, by Sasuke's mother. She seemed nice, but very, very crazy. Well, at least she was on his side; she'd said she liked him.

"Finally, we were about to start the treasure hunt."

Naruto rose an eyebrow as Sasuke spoke and glanced to the group of friends. He recognised all but a few people clumped in the corner and they were grinning. Was Naruto the only one who was sane in this house?

"What my mother doesn't know is that the treasure chest..." here Sasuke paused and a scary grin (because when does Sasuke ever grin?) overtook his face. "Is stocked with alcohol and everything, and I really do mean everything, you'll need to make your day even better."

Now Naruto's interest was piqued. So maybe this treasure hunt wasn't such a bad idea?

"It's in the wood." Bad idea, bad idea. The scary wood had been factored in as scenery, yes, but everyone knew about Naruto's fear of ghosts. And there were certainly plenty of ghosts combing through those woods.

"Right, everyone pair up! We cannot let my parents see what's in the treasure chest, so if you win it, meet back at the campfire circle with the chest. You can't misss the circle. There's sign posts to it all over the wood."

Naruto bristled, looking around as everyone, even Sasuke the bastard, paired up with someone. The people in the corner managed to unfold themselves, revealing a blond man, a red haired man and someone who looked suspiciously like Sasuke.

"Itachi you're with Naruto." The suspicious-look-alike nodded to Naruto and shifted his gaze boredly back to Sasuke. "He's petrified of ghosts." Sasuke turned to Naruto. "So I've put you with my big brother."

Naruto ignored the jibe at how scared he was and instead moved to Itachi's side, slipping a hand through his arms to link them. He felt the flinch at contact and looked up.

"You know, I really am scared of ghosts. Maybe we could just stay here and talk to your mother? She said she liked me and-"

"Sasuke has placed embarrassing photographs of both of us inside that chest. Of everyone. I think he hired a private investigator."

Naruto blanched. If Sasuke had dug up any dirt about him it would be the incriminating affair he'd had with Sai. In their defence, it had been truth or dare, just Sasuke, Naruto and Sai, and Sai had been dared to go down on Naruto.

Which he did.

And Sasuke swore he would never tell a soul... but if those photos in there were about anything, it would be that drunken night.

Naruto could only imagine what everyone else in the group had photos of and he had swore that nothing ever happened betwen Sai and himself. Itachi's photos would be embarrassing, even more so. Who else could dig deeper than dearest little brother?

"We're going to go into that wood and find that fucking chest before anyone else, you got it Itachi?"

Itachi rose an eyebrow and smirked. "I think we'll make a beautiful team, Naruto."

.

Three hours later and they didn't look so beautiful anymore. After traipsing through the wood (which was secretly a forest for the amount of time they had spent and not got anywhere) Itachi and Naruto were covered in mud with twigs and leaves stuck to their hair and clothing.

At the current moment they were sitting on tree stumps, staring at the mushy ground. The wellingtons Itachi had thought to wear were caked in mud, least of all Naruto's trainers.

"I hate this wood."

It didn't matter about ghosts or ghouls, what mattered was that they had somehow managed to get swallowed by the wood and lose the track of the treasure hunt all in one. Overall a brilliant evening.

"I have one last trick up my sleeve. First of all I'll find out if it's worth it."

Naruto watched as Itachi pulled a mobile phone from his pocket and dialled in a number. It took a few tones, but the other person finally picked up.

"Hey it's me. Yeah. You're still out here too?" Itachi nodded to Naruto in hope. "No one's found it yet? Okay, thanks."

Itachi clicked the call to an end and smirked at Naruto. "That was my friend, Deidara. He's in this too and he's, well... resourceful. Turns out no one else has found this elusive chest."

Naruto found himself leaning in to every word Itachi spoke. "Which means my trump card will come in handy. I have to make one more call and then we'll get started."

Naruto was left in the blue once again as Itachi picked up his phone and called a number.

"I'm not going to make it in time to walk them. Could you let him out and I'll get the rest? It's just he tends to get grumpy if he's left too long... yes of course. Okay, thank you."

The phone was pocketed away and Naruto looked around, expecting some light just to shine their way to the chest.

"So?" He said after an eternity of silence.

"My mother's taking care of her half. All I need to do is blow this," Itachi pulled out an odd looking whistle from under his top, "And then we can start our half."

After blowing the whistle, which gave off a horrible pitched sound, Naruto and Itachi began to talk. They had started off pretty well whilst in the woods, but it was times like these that people really began to connect.

"I had this old teacher and he used to pull this really freaky face," Naruto pulled his cheeks back and tried to immitate what he meant. "Well I suppose that's when I became mortally afraid of ghosts. I don't care if they're not real, they still scare the hell out of me!"

They laughed together, Itachi's laughter soft and rather quiet. Naruto, who had been looking around the growing shadows, turned to look at Sasuke's brother and instead found himself close to Itachi's nose. Instead of freaking, he moved forwards slightly, feeling Itachi's hand creep closer to his.

By the time they were almost touching lips, Itachi's fingers had captured Naruto's without any complaints. Naruto smiled and almost sealed their fate when he suddenly shot upwards, eyes wide as something brushed his lower back.

"A ghost!"

In the two second panic Naruto had, Itachi sat back and watched with a smile. After the two seconds, in which Naruto broke three sticks and sent numerous birds into the air, he looked back at the supposed ghost.

"A pig?"

"Technically a truffle hog. He's our lucky card. I have his walking lead in my pocket and I made sure a truffle was slipped into the chest. It's not that sturdy and I wanted to win regardless. So, onwards and upwards we go with Madara."

Naruto beant down to greet the black and white pig and he snuffled back gently, little eyes glimmering in the night.

"He's gorgeous," Naruto admitted, stroking the bristly head firmly.

"And our best truffle hog. We have a sow and piglets, but they haven't been trained." Itachi raised an eyebrow at the beaming look on Naruto's face. "When we get back you can give the piglets a cuddle."

Naruto decided right then that he would marry Itachi at any cost.

.

Sasuke, of course, had called them cheats and demanded they hand over the alcohol as forfeit. Technically Madara the Saddleback should have won the prize, but he was content with the truffles in the end. No matter what Sasuke said, he had smiled when everyone was round the campfire and thanked everyone for everything.

There was an almost knowing look in his eye when he looked at Naruto and Itachi, however, but Naruto refused to acknowledge that he could have been set up. Well, they could have been set up.

While it wouldn't be taking place for a long time, Naruto would ensure he got Itachi into that wedding gown.

First, though, he had some piglets to cuddle.

.

Notes:

Again a dedication to cutsycat. I've organised many treasure hunts myself and they're damned stressful!

I've never been truffling with a pig though so you'll have to excuse my lack of knowledge.

Little piggies for everyone who has reviewed!