Last week was off because of my b-day and traveling to house-sit for family. I should be back to updates weekly from now on.
Also, short, sweet, and to the point. Maybe.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the forms you see in this story. They belong to the Formal Notices: From The Bureau of Communication by Joshua and David Keay. I also don't own The Avengers, who of course belong to Marvel. I think that's it.
Warning: Obviously, the original formatting of these forms won't hold up in Fanfiction dot Net court, so I've tried my best to make it understandable. Since the forms are fill-in-the-blank originally, any part that is underlined is something that was 'filled in' by the character or characters mentioned. Anything that is bolded and underlined is one of the options chosen by the person or persons filling out the form when applicable. Anything in (parenthesis) is instructions given by the form for options to choose when filling in the blank. I left these in because they are hilarious.
Because, after all, S.H.I.E.L.D. is still a bureaucratic organization.
Dr. Banner was busy at work in his lab, as he usually was these days. It wasn't that he didn't have other things to do, per se. It wasn't even that he had anything particularly important to do in the lab. But, after the twins' birthday party Bruce just wasn't feeling as sociable as he usually was. And considering he wasn't that talkative to begin with…
Well, the lab seemed like the perfect place for him. There was nothing but science all around him, rules and logistics that just made sense in a world that was rapidly losing any semblance of order, and everything was as controlled as he wanted it to be. Nothing new or surprising unless it was a result to some experiment or another. No one around to force him into idle chatter that he couldn't really keep up with (who cared if another celebrity was pregnant, or cheating, or doing some kind of scandal? Who cared if there was an on-going Scrabble match between T'Challa and Natasha? Or if Pietro was supposed to go to Rome, Italy for dinner last night, not Florence, Italy? Or if Steve was supposed to take part in a scheduled fight for a local charity drive and some challenger dressed like a devil ended up beating him somehow? Okay, that last one may have been important, but Steve wasn't upset, so Bruce wasn't either).
Really, everything was nice and peaceful in his lab. It was just the kind of environment that he'd sought out for years for himself. It was everything he wanted.
So why was it that it felt like Bruce was missing something?
Before he could really contemplate his musings any further the door to his lab slid open. With barely a glance up, Bruce acknowledged Tony from behind his beakers and flasks.
"Hey, Tony."
"Bruce."
It was his friend's tone of voice that made him look up sharply. Tony casually walked into the lab, looking for all the world like he didn't really have anything important to do down here. His voice, on the other hand, had the tone of 'I have something important to tell you, but you won't take it well so I'll try to be subtle about it.' Yeah, Tony didn't do subtle very well.
Slowly setting his work to the side, Bruce regarded Tony carefully. "Is something wrong?"
"Wrong?" Tony sounded surprised. Tony was a great actor, Bruce reminded himself. "What could be wrong? You know, other than one of my best friends holing himself up in the lab all day, not leaving for even basic meals, flat out ostracizing himself from society. Which, you know, I thought we'd worked on before. But I guess I was wrong. So, I guess there's that, if you want an answer to your question."
Being friends with Tony was never easy. Still, on some level, Bruce was glad that he obviously cared about his well being. On another level, Bruce wasn't quite ready to admit anything was wrong, even to himself.
"Tony, I'm not avoiding you," Bruce tried to say as soothingly as possible without insulting his friend. "I just have a lot of work to do." A lie, but not as big of one as it could be; Bruce could easily find himself more work to do. Tony probably knew that, but there was no point bringing it up.
Tony, as predicted, didn't look convinced. He walked to the opposite side of the table Bruce was working at to face him head on.
"Yeah, big guy, I don't buy that." Tony gave him a look daring him to try to contradict him. "Ever since Wanda and Pietro's party you've been looking like someone drowned your cat. You especially avoid me and Pepper which is making both of us upset, and quite frankly a little insulted. I think I know what's really troubling you."
Well, that was a surprise. "You do?" Bruce asked. Bruce sure didn't know what it could be.
Tony merely nodded sagely. "I even have the perfect solution, too!" From somewhere behind his back, the genius billionaire pulled out a piece of paper. A familiar looking piece of paper. "A Form stating A Token of My Affections."
Suddenly feeling very, very awkward Bruce started shifting uncertainly on his feet. His throat felt dry all of a sudden. "Oh. Well, that's. Um. Very nice of you, Tony, but I don't think that's very…appropriate."
Tony's face melted into confusion. "What are you talking about? Pepper helped me write it and everything. No way you can say it's 'not appropriate' or anything like that. Not really my style, but I happen to think it's very sweet. Definitely a start for you, but you can't expect me and Pepper to do everything for you."
Now it was Bruce's turn to be confused. He took the Form from his friend's hand and took a better look at it. His face started to heat up as Tony chuckled at him. Bruce was still reading the Form when his friend clapped him on the arm and turned to leave.
"Don't wait too long to send that out!" Tony warned. "I still have the master to that Form, and I can and will fill it out differently and send it out myself if you don't hurry up!"
A TOKEN OF MY AFFECTIONS
To My Dearest (Name of Recipient) Betty Ross, From Your (Title) dearest, most magnanimous (Name of Sender) Bruce Banner
How Are You? It doesn't matter, for I am about to make your day! In this (Modern/Selfish/Dastardly) day and age, we too rarely show appreciation for each other. I've decided it's high time to do something about it, so I'm giving you a (Effusive Adjective) stupendous (gift) Form of My Affection. Yes, it may be hard to believe, and you are surely saying, "Heavens no! That is far too (Generous/Insightful/Brilliant) of you!" But let me assure you that it is deserved.
PLEASE, TREASURE THIS GIFT! It is more than a reminder of me and my generous affections. You should see it not just as a first-class (Kind of Gift) heartfelt letter, but as a celebration of your (Unique Skill or Characteristic) ability to see past the Other Guy and see me for whom I really am. Lest you scheme up with a way to repay me, let me say that no reciprocation is called for. I may even go so far as to refuse your gift—That is how serious I am. Unless of course you offer me (A Particularly Alluring Thing) your continued friendship and love.