Title: Better With You
Rating: T with potential for M (Will warn if it gets to that)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything in relation to Pretty Little Liars or in relation to any pop culture references that are made in this chapter.
Summary: After spending a large portion of their Summer apart, the girls are back together for their senior year at Rosewood High. Mona is in Radley, Garrett's been arrested, Maya is dead, and emotions still run high. Emily returns from Haiti in hopes to move past what she's been put through, and finds happiness in an unexpected place. A Spemily focused story with mentions of Ezria and Haleb. Storyline with "A" but not the main focus. The story follows the regular season one and two storyline, and begins after the opening scene of season three, however the night ends differently.
A/N - Wow, thank you to serialwatcher, aguiarcorina, charmedrocks33, Gutty, FannamedSam, BreyanaXO, kimmyonce, Winkly03, WankyLovatic, and the Guest reviewer that dropped me some feedback! It was incredibly refreshing to see so many reviews. I loved reading all of it. As well, a big thanks to all of the new followers of the story; y'all are great. In response to the few people who commented on the fact that Spencer always seems to be the one at fault, don't worry I noticed my tendency as well. And while this update may make it seem like I'm paying no regard to your suggestions, I assure you to wait it out because there's plenty more to come where Emily gets some sense knocked into her, I promise (especially in the last bit of this story along with the sequel). I hope you like this instalment, and for those that enjoy the drama, don't be fooled by this chapter. There's more to come (; now without further ado...!
Chapter 26 - I Won't Give Up
Losing someone is always a difficult concept to grasp; it's not like losing a possession like your wallet or your phone. Losing someone is something that never gets easier, and never fully goes away. It isn't an event that just comes and goes once; losing someone is a constant cycle.
It's in the way that you come home after having a long, miserable day, looking for someone to remind you of a better tomorrow, but remembering that your better tomorrow has gone. It's in the way that you long for the warmth of the loving and intimate embrace you once had. It's in the way that you crawl into bed at night only to be met with the empty space of what used to be. And every morning, you wake up ready to start the day, only to have emptiness overwhelm you, feeling the loss all over again.
Because when it comes to love, a heart doesn't just break once. It breaks every time you walk past the place you had your first date; and every time you're reminded of your first kiss. It breaks every time you hear their voice, or see their smile, or encounter their scent. It's in the words of every song that reminds you of them, and every movie that seems to tell the tale of your love. Because every memory; every reminder of the kisses, the touches, and the feelings will make you fall in love all over again, only to remind you of what's no longer there.
Usually the first day of a break up is the toughest. Neither girl left their rooms, nor did they allow anyone to enter. After noticing that both girls skipped class the final day before the weekend – Valentine's Day – Alison filled Hanna and Aria in on everything that she knew, causing the girls to conclude that something was not right between their best friends. After visiting both girls and both being turned away, it was easy for them to figure out that the dynamic duo was no longer a duo.
It was Sunday afternoon when Alison finally convinced Emily talk to her. She showed up on the doorstep of the Fields residence with a tub of ice cream and a sympathetic look on her face, and the raven-haired girl finally found it in her to let her friend in. The two made their way up to Emily's room, and by the time they entered, Emily already pried the ice cream over, dipping her finger in and scooping some out to taste it.
"You sure you don't want a spoon for that, champ?" Alison joked. Emily rolled her eyes and glared at her friend, slamming the door behind her before returning to the spot on her bed that she'd grown attached to in the last three days. She dipped her finger back in the ice cream while still glaring at the blonde, and Alison put her arms up in defeat before taking a seat across the room by the window. "What the heck happened, Em?"
"What had to happen," Emily said vaguely, looking down at the ice cream in front of her before scraping the side of it and putting the contents into her mouth.
"Breaking up with her had to happen? Look I get it Em, she snuck around, she accused you of cheating on her with me, and she didn't trust you. I get it, you're mad. But honestly, you can't say you wouldn't have done the exact same thing if the roles were reversed," Alison told her.
"That has nothing to do with why I broke up with her!" Emily snapped, putting the ice cream on her bedside table before lifting her knees to her chest and burying her head in frustration. Alison sighed and stood from her spot, walking over to Emily's bed and sitting at the foot of it.
"Then what gives, Em? You're a wreck, and Spencer's a wreck. How is this good for either of you?" Alison questioned. Emily sighed and looked up from her hands, her eyes red as she visibly tried to stop herself from crying.
"Look I agree with you. I don't blame Spencer for accusing me of cheating on her. I was a complete nightmare to her, and honestly I don't know why she puts up with me. But honestly our fight just felt like it was be a glimpse of what would happen if Spencer and I tried long distance. We weren't even in separate area codes and we got paranoid. We just need to cut our losses and break up now before we end up hating each other," Emily explained, her voice fading to a whisper as she wiped a tear from her eye.
"That's not your call to make Emily, and you know it. I get it; you're trying to protect her. But it's not fair to break up with her without at least talking about it. She probably thinks you hate her, Em. Look, I know I have no right to tell you how to deal with things in your relationship, but last I checked it takes two to be in one. Which means you solve your problems as a team," Alison told the girl. She sighed and stood from her spot, walking in front of Emily and pulling the girl in for a hug. "I didn't come here to scold you, Em. I just wanted to make sure that you were okay, and to bring you some ice cream to cheer you up. I'm not saying get back together with her. I'm just asking you to think about what I said because no matter what, Spencer deserves the truth."
Alison gave Emily one last squeeze in her arms before leaning down and kissing the girl on the forehead, a friendly gesture of reassurance. Emily looked up at the blonde and nodded gently, giving her a weak smile which Alison returned before turning and exiting the room, leaving the swimmer alone with her thoughts.
Seven days had passed before Hanna barged into Spencer's barn, refusing to let the brunette dodge her any longer. It had been a week and as far as any of them knew, Spencer hadn't left her house. Seven days, and Spencer Hastings hadn't shown up to a single class - something that had never happened before. Although Alison and Aria insisted that they let Spencer recover on her own terms, Hanna refused to let it go on any longer. So she stormed through Spencer's barn, instantly going to her room and throwing the door open only to be hit with an overwhelming scent.
"Jesus, Spencer. Who died in here?" Hanna joked as she made her way through the girl's room, glancing at Spencer who was lying down on her bed, head facing the ceiling with a pillow over her face. The blonde rolled her eyes, snatching the pillow from Spencer's hands and hitting her playfully with it, causing her to let out a groan. "You know just because Emily broke up with you, doesn't give you an excuse to not shower."
"Wow Han, thanks for the sensitivity on the matter," Spencer replied sarcastically. Hanna rolled her eyes, plopping down on the bed beside Spencer as she continued to stare at the girl.
"Look I didn't come here to baby you. I came here to get you out of bed and presentable so that you can come see Emily at the hospital," Hanna explained. At hearing the blonde's words, Spencer immediately snapped her head up in a panic before clenching it in pain. "Relax, Spencer. She's there because she just had her rotator cuff surgery."
"Oh right, that's today. It must have slipped my mind," Spencer spoke, leaning back down and staring blankly at the ceiling. "Go without me, I doubt Emily will even want to see me there."
"She said she wanted to see everyone," Hanna argued instantly. Spencer scoffed and rolled her eyes at the blonde's response.
"That's a figure of speech Han. We haven't talk for a week, why would Emily want to see me anyways?" Spencer argued back. She rolled over to her side, now facing Hanna as she grabbed another pillow and cuddled it into her chest. "Besides, I don't really even know that I want to see her. I mean I get that I screwed up, but she was the one who lied and gave up on us so easily."
"Look Spence, issues aside this surgery may change her life forever. So whether or not you're fighting or together or broken up or whatever the hell you guys are, you need to be there for her. Just because you guys aren't together anymore, doesn't mean you have to stop being her friend," Hanna explained. Spencer sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. She knew that Hanna was right; no matter what, Emily was her friend and she couldn't let the swimmer go through it alone.
"Fine, I'll come," Spencer reluctantly caved, causing Hanna to stand from her spot, clapping in excitement. The brunette rolled her eyes and laughed at her friend's reaction, finding humour in her eagerness.
"Perfect. I've gotta get back there right now, but you should shower and make yourself presentable, then meet us there. Sound good?" Hanna questioned. The lanky girl smiled, and Hanna returned it when Spencer nodded in agreement with her. She glanced at her phone to check the time before looking back up at Spencer. "45 minutes, Spencer. Meet us in 45."
Hanna gave her one last smile before waving goodbye to Spencer and walking out. Spencer sat up in her bed, running her fingers through her hair before she let out a deep sigh.
"Well… Here goes nothing."
It had been an hour and a half since Hanna left the Hastings residence, and she was now currently sitting in Emily's hospital room with the rest of her friends, glancing her phone for the umpteenth time.
"I'm sorry Em, I really thought she was going to show up," Hanna spoke. She was expecting the brunette to be at the hospital 45 minutes ago, but she was losing hope. Spencer Hastings and tardiness did not go hand in hand, so the fact that so much time had passed without a single word from the lanky girl was enough to let the blonde assume that she just wasn't coming.
"It's okay Han. We aren't together anymore, so I shouldn't have expected anything," Emily spoke solemnly.
"If it's hurting you so much to be apart, how come you broke up with her in the first place Em?" Aria questioned. Alison coughed and Emily could feel the blonde's eyes on her, her look piercing through the swimmer. Emily let out a deep sigh, lifting her good arm to run her fingers through her hair.
"At first it was out of anger, and I didn't mean it. But now it's more for Spencer's own good than anything. I put her through so much hurt and suffering just because of what ended up being a misunderstanding. I just… I don't want to hold her back when she's at Columbia. I don't want her to be worrying about me instead of enjoying her college experience, y'know?" Emily explained. Hanna narrowed her eyes at her best friend, crossing her arms over her chest in a huff.
"No offense Emily, but that really isn't your call to make alone," Hanna spoke causing Alison to cough again, almost as if to say 'I told you so'. Emily rolled her eyes once more, letting out a sigh of frustration.
"Well it doesn't matter anyways. I mean Spencer must be handling the break up better than me if she had better things to do than v—" Emily began but was immediately cut off by the sound of her hospital door opening. All eyes shifted to the girl in the doorframe, and Emily could have sworn she felt her breath literally being taken away at the sight in front of her. Spencer stood, clad in a simple pair of blue jeans with plain black and white converse as her brown curls fell on either side of her face atop a particular Rosewood Sharks hoodie; Emily's hoodie. No matter what, Spencer was always able to mesmerize the raven-haired girl with the simplest of outfits. The two locked eyes and Emily gave her a shy smile to which Spencer returned as she shifted in her spot before moving her hands from behind her back to reveal a beautiful assortment of flowers.
"I'm sorry I'm so late, I went to the florist to pick these up and the woman at the boutique kept screwing up the arrangement, so I ended up having to do it myself," Spencer explained as she made her way into the room. Emily let out a light giggle at how absolutely adorable Spencer and her OCD tendencies were. The two locked eyes once more, sharing a shy look before shifting their gazes away from each other. It was weird; they were supposed to be angry at each other, but the minute they locked eyes it was as though any residual anger had taken a back seat to the fact that they hadn't seen each other in a week, and they genuinely missed one another. Hanna, Aria and Alison all looked at each other, sharing a knowing look before they simultaneously stood from their spots.
"I've got homework I need to do –"
"— And I've gotta go wash my car."
"— I have a group project meeting."
All three girls mumbled their excuses over one another, scrambling to make it out of the room. Before Spencer or Emily could react, the room was empty leaving the two of them by themselves. Spencer shook her head with a smile on her face as she took the chair right next to Emily's bed, placing the flowers on the bedside table before sitting down.
"Subtlety was never their strong suit, was it?" Spencer joked. Emily smiled and nodded her head in agreement as the two fell into a comfortable silence.
"Thank you for coming, Spence. And thank you for the flowers, they're beautiful," Emily spoke, looking at the colorful assortment of roses. From what she could see, there were 11 roses and ranged in colour from white to pink to yellow to red and more. Spencer's keen eye for arrangements was always something that Emily had admired, and it was clear she spared no effort in the one she put together for the swimmer.
"You know I wouldn't have missed this for the world," Spencer admitted, looking down at her hands as she fidgeted with her fingers momentarily before looking back up. She was contemplating bringing up their break up, but she knew that the hospital wasn't the proper setting for that conversation. So as much as she didn't want to, Spencer avoided the topic all together. "So… How's your arm doing?"
"The medication is starting to wear off, so it's getting a bit sore. The doctor said I'd be in a sling for a few weeks, but I'm just excited to start recovery. The sooner I start, the sooner I'll be back in the pool," Emily replied. Spencer nodded as she shifted in her seat.
"Remember not to overdue it though, hey? I mean I know how annoying it is to be out of commission; you got to experience first hand how restless I was when I broke my leg. But listening to my PT was the best advice you gave me, so make sure you follow your own advice and listen to your PT too," the lanky brunette spoke. Emily held back a smile as she nodded in agreement with what Spencer was saying. It meant the world to her that even after everything that went down with the two of them, Spencer was still concerned about her well being. "So, how's therapy going?"
"It's getting better. I'm slowly being able to sleep through most of the night, and I mean even though I do get triggered pretty easily, a full nights rest is a step in the right direction," Emily spoke, looking over at Spencer who was nodding as she averted her gaze and looked down. The raven-hared girl observed Spencer's actions, noticing that she was shifting in her seat and biting down on her lip, which caused Emily to let out a sigh. "You want to say what's on your mind?"
"What makes you think I have something on my mind?" Spencer retorted as she raised an eyebrow. Emily smirked slightly as she knew that Spencer was responding to her question with another question as her own defense mechanism.
"You know that I know you like the back of my hand, right?" Emily reminded the girl. Spencer rolled her eyes, knowing that the swimmer was completely right. Even if she wanted to, she was never good at hiding her feelings from Emily.
"I was uhm… I was wondering if maybe I could join you for one of your sessions," Spencer spoke out so quietly that Emily almost couldn't make out the words. Upon deciphering what the brunette had said though, Emily was slightly taken aback at the request. It was clear that Emily wasn't sure why the brunette was asking just by the look on her face, and Spencer could tell that she was thrown off by the question. "I just… It's partly because I want to understand what's going on with you, but I also just want to know how to be prepared in case I'm ever around you and you have a panic attack."
"You don't have to do that, Spence," Emily spoke with a slight grin on her face, touched that the brunette was willing to come to one of her sessions. Spencer shrugged and shook her head, disagreeing with what Emily had said.
"Look we don't have to talk about what happened right now, but regardless of everything that went down, I…" Spencer trailed off, twiddling her fingers nervously. "I'd like to think that we're still best friends. Which means I want to be able to help if you're hurt."
"Okay," Emily whispered out after a few moments of silence between the two. Spencer immediately perked up in her seat. "To both. Friends sounds good. And I'd be happy to bring you to my next session."
Emily was released from the hospital the following evening, and she and Spencer made their way into the Fields residence, Spencer holding most of Emily's belongings as the swimmer opened the door. They made their way to Emily's bedroom where Spencer placed the girl's bag on the ground before taking the get-well gifts and putting them on Emily's study desk. Immediately after, Spencer fixed the girl's bed for her, pulling her blanket out so that Emily could easily crawl in. She turned around to see Emily leaning against the doorway, watching the brunette work with a smile on her face.
"Thank you for all of this, Spencer. You really didn't have to do any of it," Emily told her. Spencer shrugged it off, not finding it to be a big deal at all.
"I know I didn't have to, but I wanted to. I mean your mom did ask me to look after you since she couldn't get time off work. I was just doing what she asked," Spencer responded in a very nonchalant tone. She finished fluffing a few of Emily's pillows before stepping aside and gesturing for the swimmer to sit down. The two walked around each other, Emily taking her seat on her bed as Spencer was now headed out the door. As she was about to exit the room, Spencer stopped and turned around, glancing over at the swimmer one more time. "Do you need anything?"
"Wait where are you going?" Emily questioned, now noticing that Spencer was almost out of the door.
"I know you usually have a hard time sleeping at all in hospitals, so I thought you might want to sleep or take a nap now. I was just going to go make up the guest room for myself," Spencer explained, gesturing to the room across the hall from Emily's. The swimmer smiled at Spencer's consideration for her, genuinely appreciating how cautious and caring the girl was being towards her every need.
"I kind of avoid sleep all together lately – anxiety and all. But I was just going to watch a movie. Did you, uhm… Would you maybe want to join me?" Emily asked shyly. Spencer bit her lip, holding back the grin that was threatening to form on her face.
"That depends. Are you going to make me watch The Notebook for the millionth time?" Spencer asked playfully. Emily let out a gentle laugh and shook her head.
"No, I've been trying to wean myself off of the romance movies," Emily admitted. The two briefly shared an awkward look with one another before Emily looked away, her gaze shifting down as she ran her fingers through her hair. "Anyways, we could watch Remember The Titans if you want."
"That's okay Em. I know you're only suggesting that for me," Spencer spoke, winking playfully at the girl. Emily let out a melodic laugh, nodding her head in agreement. Truthfully she didn't care what movie they watched. The swimmer knew she was going to have a hard time concentrating with Spencer in the same vicinity as her. Soon, silence came over the two and their gazes shifted around the room before meeting each other's.
"The Breakfast Club?" the two girls stated in unison before letting out a laugh. Spencer instantly made her way to the DVD player in Emily's room, sifting through the discs as the swimmer observed her. It brought a smile to her face at how easy it was for the two of them to fall back into a groove. She knew the situation between them wasn't ideal, but Emily needed Spencer in her life in some way, shape or form. Was it selfish? It was – in every way possible. But the idea of not having the girl in her life at all scared the hell out of Emily. She zoned back in from her thoughts, noticing that Spencer had put the movie in and was just about to stand up and walk over to the couch.
"You can sit on the bed too, Spence. There's plenty of room for the both of us," Emily offered as she shuffled over in her bed, clearing space for the lanky girl. Spencer contemplated her options momentarily; knowing that being in the same bed with Emily wasn't a good idea at all. But she was weak, and after a week without the girl she relished the thought of being close to her once again. So Spencer accepted the offer graciously, sitting next to the girl but making sure a reasonable amount of space was left between the two. The last thing she wanted was to make her feel uncomfortable. Spence glanced to the side of her, sneaking a look at Emily before pulling the blanket over the two of them and allowing herself to zone into the movie. Even though all they were doing was watching a movie, Spencer felt completely at peace. For the first time all week she was home.
Emily woke to the feeling of her shoulder being shaken. Her eyes barely opened as she squinted them to adjust to the sunlight before realizing that Alison was standing at the foot of her bed, leaning over as she hovered over the girl's face. Her eyebrows furrowed in frustration as she swatted Alison's hand away from her shoulder before going to move only to realize an arm was over her stomach, stopping her from moving.
"What the—" Emily whispered in confusion as she turned her head to see Spencer sound asleep, their limbs tangled into one another's. Her eyes bulged in realization of the fact that they had fallen asleep together. Emily carefully and quietly untangled herself from Spencer's hold, gently lifting herself off of the bed only to be met with Alison leaning against her bedroom wall, arms crossed with a smirk on her face. The blonde quirked her eyebrow in curiosity, causing Emily to roll her eyes and gesture for the blonde to be quiet. "Not a word."
"Your session is in like an hour. I'll be waiting downstairs while you, uh, get yourself together," Alison let out in a playful tone as she muffled her laughter. Emily rolled her eyes and nudged Alison as the blonde walked past her and out of her room. She found a sweater nearby, putting it on overtop of her tank top as she gave the sleeping brunette one final glance before following Alison downstairs. The sound of a chair shuffling in the kitchen caught Emily's attention as she reached the bottom of the steps and walked towards the noise to see Alison comfortably sitting at her kitchen table. "So you two finally kiss and make up or what?"
"Nothing has changed, Ali. Spencer was just taking care of me and we fell asleep watching a movie," Emily shrugged as she made her way to her fridge, looking for something to eat. After coming up short, Emily took the milk out and began looking through her cupboards for the cereal.
"You know at this rate you're not going to be able to resist for long," Alison commented, taking an apple out of the fruit bowl on Emily's counter and taking a bite out of it. Emily sighed as she poured the milk into her bowl of Cocoa Puffs before putting it back into the fridge.
"Well I'm going to have to as long as Spencer's future is in jeopardy," Emily retorted, taking a bite of her cereal. Alison was about to make an argument against the girl's logic, but she stopped herself when she heard footsteps at the door of the kitchen where a disheveled Spencer stood. Emily couldn't help but break out into a smile; she had always loved Spencer's morning look.
"Hey you two," Spencer greeted them with a smile on her face before letting out a yawn. She stretched out for a few moments and then made her way to the chair across from Alison, realizing that the conversation between the two girls had ceased. "Did I interrupt something?"
"Not at all, I was just telling Alison that I was going to bring you to therapy today. I mean if that's okay with you Spence," Emily stated to Alison who cocked an eyebrow before both she and the swimmer shifted their gazes over to the brunette. Spencer smiled and immediately nodded her head excitedly, looking forward to finally sitting in on a session with the girl.
"That's great Em, I'm sure it'll all go well. Since Spencer's got you covered for therapy I won't need to go. So I can go home and finish up the stack of homework that I've been putting off all weekend," Alison said with a laugh. She stood from her seat, giving Spencer a quick hug before making her way over to Emily, pulling her in for a hug and whispering in her ear at the same time. "I want details later."
Emily giggled and reciprocated the girl's hug before saying goodbye to the blonde. As she watched Alison walk out, Emily noticed Spencer observing the exchange between the two of them. Even though she didn't need to, Emily felt that she owed it to Spencer to justify herself.
"Sorry if that kinda caught you by surprise. Ali has just really been there for me with everything," Emily explained briefly, taking another bite of her cereal as she gestured the box of Cocoa Puffs to the brunette, silently offering them to her.
"It's okay Em. I'm glad you two are such close friends. I think out of everyone, Ali is the one person that would protect you exactly how I would," Spencer admitted, standing up from her seat and walking over to Emily to take the box from her. She poured herself a bowl of cereal and the two of them quickly ate in silence before returning to their respective rooms to get ready for therapy.
"So from what I've gathered, Emily's most common tell are her twitchy fingers. I've noticed that she's been easily triggered by loud noises, sudden flashes, and enclosed spaces. Usually you can recognize a panic attack by the normal signs, which can range from shortness of breath to unresponsiveness. She may clench her chest in pain, and it can get as severe as her not recognizing her surroundings, including the people that are in her general area. The important thing is for you to remain calm and make her feel like she's in a safe space. Focus on controlling her breathing and speaking rationally to her in order to keep her in a proper frame of mind. The most important thing is to not let her get too far-gone. It's extremely difficult to bring a person back from a panic attack if they've gone so internally deep that they're almost catatonic. So focus on keeping her with you by talking to her, breathing with her, anything to try and keep her responsive," the therapist explained. Spencer nodded in understanding as she sat beside Emily who was calmly listening to her therapist speak to the brunette.
"Seems logical enough to me," Spencer commented, mentally taking note of everything that Dr. Adamczuk – she had learned was the therapist's name – was saying.
"Now Emily you mentioned earlier that you were able to sleep through the entire night last night. Did you do anything differently from usual?" Dr. Adamczuk questioned, her pen and notepad ready to take notes.
"Not really. I mean Spencer and I were watching a movie and I guess we kind of just dozed off. Next thing I knew Alison was waking me up the next morning," Emily mentioned with a shrug. Dr. Adamczuk nodded, jotting a few notes down before continuing.
"Interesting. Could that possibly have been because Spencer was with you? Usually the presence of a spouse or an intimate partner does subconsciously calm the brain down," Dr. Adamczuk mentioned. Both girls looked at each other, shifting uncomfortably as neither knew what to say.
"Actually," Spencer finally spoke. "Emily and I are no longer together."
"Interesting. And if you don't mind me asking, why is that?" Dr. Adamczuk asked, curious to the new information that was revealed to her. Emily sighed, still leaned back in her seat, as she waited for Spencer to speak up. When she glanced over to see Spencer's lips pursed, not wanting to comment on the situation, she leaned forward and answered herself.
"We had a disagreement. She thought I cheated on her, but in reality it was a big misunderstanding. She snuck around, I lied, we argued and I ended things," Emily explained. Dr. Adamczuk narrowed her eyebrows at the explanation, clearly not understanding the situation fully.
"Now Emily, we've previously discussed your tendency of pushing others away instead of facing your problems. Is this perhaps a situation in which that is once again occurring?" Dr. Adamczuk questioned. Emily quirked an eyebrow, slightly taken aback by the forwardness of her therapist. She crossed her arms defensively, leaning back in her seat.
"I don't think I'm avoiding anything. I think we had an argument, we couldn't communicate, and she didn't trust me. So I ended it," Emily countered. Spencer sat silently, not wanting to interrupt on the conversation. She could tell that Emily's walls were goin up immediately as the girl became immediately defensive.
"Emily we've discussed this before, remember? There is nothing unnatural about avoiding problems. In fact, most people cope with their issues in that exact way. Let me ask you this. Was the break up mutual?" Dr. Adamczuk questioned.
"Yes."
"No."
Both girls responded at the same time and Dr. Adamczuk immediately quirked an eyebrow before nodding her head. Emily snapped her head in Spencer's direction, shooting the girl a glare. Spencer shrugged her shoulders, not understanding why Emily was mad at her for telling the truth. Because it was true; if Spencer had it her way, the two of them wouldn't be sitting miles apart on the couch. They would be cuddled together, holding hands and most importantly they would be together. But Spencer couldn't force the swimmer into a relationship. It was something that Emily needed to want.
"So obviously we have a one-sided break up in this position. Look I'm not trying to pry into your relationship, and under most other circumstances I wouldn't spare more than a few minutes discussing it. However, your anxiety does stem from an aspect of your relationship in the fact that the situation you experienced is directly related to Spencer. Now you're usually very open to discussing other aspects of your life. Is there any reason why you seem so hesitant to voice your thoughts on your relationship?" Dr. Adamczuk asked. Emily looked back and forth between her therapist and Spencer, noticing that the lanky brunette was now listening very intently. Frustrated and feeling cornered however, Emily stood from her seat and quickly grabbed hold of her purse.
"You want my opinion? My opinion is that I didnt come here for a couples therapy session," Emily snapped. She snatched her phone off the table in front of her, throwing it in her bag and before either of the other two girls could react, Emily was out the door. Spencer sighee and ran her fingers through her hair before standing up as well.
"I'm so sorry. Thank you for everything but I should probably," Spencer spoke, gesturing towards the door where Emily had just stormed out. Dr. Adamczuk gave her a sad smile and nodded in understanding before Spencer turned and ran out the door, chasing after Emily. It wasn't difficult to track the girl as Emily's hair seemed to leave a lingering scent that Spencer knew very well. She ran in the direction that her sense were leading her, only to find Emily sitting outside on a bench nearby.
"Emily," the lanky brunette called out softly. She stood from her seat on the bench, trying to walk away only to be stopped by the firm grasp that Spencer had on her arm. "Stop running away and talk to me."
"There's nothing to talk about, Spencer. The sooner you accept that you and I won't work, the sooner you'll be able to forget about me and move on," Emily spoke, trying to get out of her grasp.
"You don't mean that. You're forgetting that I also know you like the back of my hand, which means I know when you're lying. Look Emily, I get it. I screwed up and I'm sorry. And I get that you're scared, and it's okay. But I need you to let me in," Spencer pleaded. Emily swallowed the lump in her throat, trying harder to shake her arm away while she held back her tears.
"Spencer I appreciate what you've done for me since I got my surgery. You've been great, and as for what happened before, I forgive you and I apologize too. It was just as much my fault as it was yours. But at this point it's more than just that. You and I won't work. Our futures just don't involve each other," Emily stated, her voice weak. Spencer shook her head, not agreeing with a single word that Emily was saying. Tears of frustration built in Emily's eyes. "Why can't you just accept it, Spencer?"
"Because it's not true! You know it, I know it, I'm pretty sure everyone in this friggen town knows it Em! I'm the one for you, Emily Fields. And you can try and fight it, and you can try to deny it. But this," Spencer says as she gestures in between the two of them. "This is undeniable. Our love is undeniable. And you may not see it now, but you will soon."
"And what makes you so sure?" Emily questioned, crossing her arms over her chest as Spencer had now let go of the hold she had on the girl. Spencer shook her head, putting on her signature Hastings game face smirk.
"Look, I'm not going to go back and forth with you on this. Just remember what I said. I'm the one for you. You'll see soon enough," Spencer spoke, boldly stepping forward and placing a soft kiss on Emily's cheek before brushing past her and walking away. Emily brought her hand up to her cheek, caressing the spot that Spencer's lips had just lingered, completely confused with what had just happened. One minute they were fighting, and the next she knew Spencer was determinedly professing her love. She wasn't sure what had happened, but she knew she couldn't break under Spencer's words. She refused to hold the lanky brunette back.
After driving around for around an hour and a half, Emily finally arrived back home to her empty house. She sighed at the feeling of loneliness that seemed to inevitably overwhelm her. Though she appreciate the fact that her mother worked hard to keep the roof over their head, it was times like these where all she wanted was to be greeted with a warm hug from her mom. Emily places her keys on the hook beside the door, making her way up the stairs to her room. She smiled to herself, looking at the disheveled bed as she realized that just hours ago she woke to Spencer's arms around her. Emily recalled the feeling of happiness, and more importantly the feeling of fulfillment as soon as she realized that Spencer was holding her. In that moment Emily had felt happier than she recalled feeling in a long time. It crushed her to think that she may never experience that feeling ever again.
Emily walked towards her study desk, replaying Spencer's words in her mind as she looked at the bouquet that the lanky brunette had given her just days before. She smiled to herself, shaking her head at Spencer's confidence as she picked up the bouquet to smell the floral scent only to have a small card fall from the flowers. Emily narrowed her eyes in confusion as she bent down to pick up the card, instantly opening it to read it's contents. Among scanning the card, an uncontrollable smile came across her face.
'Emily,
There are 11 roses in this bouquet of flowers, but none hold a candle to your beauty.
11 may seem like a peculiar number, but what you may not realize is that 11 roses are a way to show the recipient that they are truly and deeply loved.
As you may know, the arrangement of flowers was meticulously thought out by yours truly. Not only to cater to my OCD, but also because each rose holds a significant meaning.
Three pink roses to symbolize my appreciation, admiration, and happiness for everything you do to me and everything you bring to my life.
Two yellow roses to symbolize the foundation of our relationship, which was the strong bond of our friendship.
Two orange roses to symbolize my unwavering desire for your love and affection.
Two white roses to symbolize our young love. And although it's young and blossoming, the white rose also symbolizes my loyalty to you.
One single red rose to tell you that I love you.
And finally, one single yellow rose with a red tip to symbolize the act of falling in love. I am so in love with you, Emily Fields. And if I could, I would give you one of these every day for the rest of my life. Because every single day I find a new way to fall in love with you.
I know you think the best thing for us is to be apart, but you're wrong. We're soul mates, Em. When I think of my future, I can't imagine any scenario where you aren't the person that I come home to at the end of the night. And I'll never give up on us; because you're my always and forever. You're my happy ending. And you're my infinity and beyond.
Love,
Spencer'
Emily read the words over and over again, allowing them to hit home every single time. She smile, letting a tear fall down her face as she shook her head in disbelief at the girl's actions.
"Spencer Hastings, you just don't quit..." Emily mumbled to herself, hugging the card to her chest as she allowed herself to privately bask in the girl's words. She didn't know how she was going to be able to resist Spencer, but judging from the lanky brunette's first strike, she knew it wasn't going to be easy.
Hope you all enjoyed this one and don't forget to leave me feedback whether it's in the form of a review or a PM! Comments, suggestions, anything be it good or bad I look forward to reading. You lot are the best (: thanks again for reading!