Chapter Twenty-Five: It Just Keeps Dragon On!
When we last left our hero, he was in for the fight of his life! After escaping from La Bruja's crashing airship, SheZow (aka Guy Hamdon) was met by his sidekick and friend Maz and his sister Kelly, along with remnants of the Megadale police force led by his father, Officer Boxter Hamdon! After cornering off the area, SheZow felt confident that if nothing else, this fight was over. But he could not have been more wrong if he tried! La Bruja stood, inside the blazing inferno that was her airship and HQ, declaring the fight was not over and began a horrible transformation! We now return to the scene in progress…
SheZow and company looked at the black orb of fire in awe, not sure how to react to this new situation. Just then, massive bat-like wings shot out of the flame, before fanning down extinguishing the flames in a hurricane gale of wind! Shielding their eyes from the gust of wind, everyone present opened their eyes to behold the ghastly transformation La Bruja had under gone! She had transformed into an enormous black and red dragon, about the size of the airship La Bruja had used previously! Her horns slopped back like a headdress, her eyes glowed with a yellow fire, her tail ended in a sickle blade of metallic silver, and her body design brought to mind a poisonous snake1!
A deep chuckle rolled from the throat of the dragon, which quickly turned into a round of maniacal laughter! Truly, she enjoyed the look of horror that had crossed the faces of everyone present!
"Oh, the look on all of you faces truly makes all this effort worthwhile!" exclaimed La Bruja while laughing, "It is such a delight to know that you have come to see the truth…that your end has come! AHAHAHAHA!"
SheZow strode forward, putting up a brave front even though he was close to wetting his skirt, "The only thing you've shown us is the monster that we known was inside of you all along!" said SheZow, in his falsetto voice, with confidence he didn't truly feel. La Bruja continued to laugh at SheZow's defiance before slowly leaning in, as if to tell a naughty secret!
"Oh, you truly naive little puta!" began La Bruja, in a condescending tone, "You truly don't understand do you! Being a monster is one of the greatest things to become! People tell stories and write legends about monster! People hold them up as examples to compare to! Why…I think that people truly want to be monsters, if only in certain aspect!" La Bruja takes a menacing tone for the next line, "There are far, far worse things to be in this world than a monster!2"
The police began to pull out their weapons, getting ready for the fight that was about to break out! "Alright, enough of this!" exclaimed Officer Hamdon, "La Bruja, by the authority given to me by the city of Megadale, I am here by placing you under arrest for mass mayhem and damage to city and private property!"
Again the dragon Bruja laughed with malicious mirth! "Oh you silly little man!" said La Bruja, with absolute confidence and power, "You're a mouse caught in a battle between TITANS! But here! Let me CLEAR THE FIELD!" Raising one of her front claws into the air, crackling with black lighting, La Bruja slammed it back down causing a combination earthquake and hurricane to form! Around the grounded claw formed an expanding circle, covered in runic symbol! With the exception of SheZow, everyone and everything was hurled through the air and landed outside the circle, which had expanded to the radius of a football field!
"Now that the…expendables have vacated the field," began La Bruja, showing her casual dismissal of the police force and SheZow's sidekicks, "I believe it's time to get things started!" With a snap of her digits (they couldn't really be called fingers anymore) a strange tune began to fill the air. It took SheZow a moment to figure it out…it was a theme music for the battle3!
"Really?" asked SheZow, dropping his falsetto voice in sheer disbelief at the rather campy move by La Bruja.
"You know me! I always loved things to be…dramatic!" declared La Bruja, dramatically. Taking that as her cue to start the battle, La Bruja launched herself into the air, flapping her wings to keep herself aloft! Then she shot a stream of green-black fire at SheZow, who rolled out of the way and ran towards the edge of the circle! Only to find that the 'circle' had created a barrier that no one could get in or out of!
Seeing there was no way out, SheZow ran back to the center of the battlefield, around Sartana's giant bust (statue-wise), to keep from being trapped in a corner. La Bruja stay airborne most of the time, sniping fireballs at SheZow whenever she saw her, laughing maniacally at her overwhelming advantage! Finally, SheZow saw an opening as La Bruja flew away from one of her dive-bomb attacks! Thinking quickly, SheZow brought her Boomerang Brush and quickly hurled it at La Bruja, aiming for her wing!
The throw connected right where the wings meet the shoulder, sending a cramp of pain throughout La Bruja's back! This caused here to fall out of the sky right at the edge of the field! Using his super speed, SheZow charged straight to la Bruja's position, hoping to take advantage of the dragon's disorientation! Just as La Bruja started to stand up, SheZow arrived and used her Laser Lipstick to draw first blood! La Bruja shrieked in pain and rage, before using her tail to knock SheZow back several yards!
Looking down to see the damage, La Bruja saw a shallow cut on her foreleg! It wasn't life threatening, but the fact that SheZow could pierce her scales was alarming! Deciding to finish the fight quickly, La Bruja leapt at SheZow, claws, teeth and tail-blade ready to inflict some damage! SheZow, having gotten herself up after La Bruja last blow, swiftly dodged and block a majority of La Bruja's strike, but there were too many, coming from too many different directions!
It was at this point that SheZow used one of the new gadgets he got from Sheila. After La Bruja had sent her televised challenge to SheZow, Sheila helped him prepare for the fight beforehand. That included training and new tools of the trade! It seemed that Guy's Aunt Agnes had gone on an inventing spree before her end at the hand of La Bruja! Many of these devices were untested, like the Eye-She-U contact lenses or Maz's new jetpack. However, Guy was willing to take the risk of malfunction if it helped him defeat La Bruja!
One of the said devices, which SheZow was about to use, was the Perfume Pepper Bomb! Designed to act like a ninja's smoke bomb, the Pepper Bomb unleashed smog that was a combination jalapeño hot pepper flakes and Lady Oder's Flowery Display (one of his Aunt Agnes's least favorite perfume brands, which Droosha kept sending her for her birthday). Designed to both blind an enemy and throw off tracking animals, it would be the perfect way to make a quick escape…if it worked!
"Perfume Pepper Bomb!" said SheZow dramatically, like he did every time he used a device. With that declaration, he threw a first sized pink orb into La Bruja's face!
"Perfume wha-aaaargh!" began La Bruja, before the pepper bomb exploded in her face! The burning in her eyes and nose soon took up all of her thought processes! SheZow, glad that the device worked, began to use the break to think up a plan! Unfortunately, the up-close was doing more damage to him than La Bruja; he just needed something big to bring her down! Looking around the field, SheZow spotted his weapon and ran towards it!
Blinking away the fumes from her eyes, La Bruja began to angrily search the field for SheZow! Unfortunately, he seemed to have disappeared! She would try to sniff him out, but that stupid pepper bomb had destroyed her ability to smell anything! The combination of the pain in her back and cuts also plotted to rob her of her usually analytically skills. How is this brat still alive?! thought La Bruja, angrily. He should be a broken, whimpering heap after all the pain I have brought him! He is nothing but a glory hog; he doesn't care about anyone but himself!
It was this line of thinking which lead La Bruja to her new strategy: taunting Guy out of hiding! "Senor Hamdon, is this how you father would have you face a problem, by HIDING?! I give you a chance to face in one-on-one combat, without henchmen or tricks and you run! So much for the great and courageous SheZow!" As La Bruja got ready to unleash more taunts at SheZow, she heard a rumbling sound, coming from the fallen head of her statue!
Turning towards said head, La Bruja was treated to the sight of SheZow lifting the ten stories tall, many ton, solid granite replica of Sartana Suarez's head! "Hey Sartana!" exclaimed SheZow, setting up the next line, "HEAD'S UP!" With that, SheZow threw the massive head right at La Bruja, who was unable to get out of the way! Smashing into La Bruja, she and the head hurtled through the air before smashing into the barrier surrounding the field! La Bruja was now trapped, with several broken bones, underneath the replica of her own head!
"Well, Brujy," said SheZow in a mocking tone, having just come up with the unflattering nickname, "You had a good run! You did more damage, brought more terror, and lasted longer than a lot of first time super villains! But in the end, like all the rest, you were brought down by your big head! Hahaha! Now comes the part where you decided if you want to come in quietly or not!"
A small rumbling could be heard underneath the statue head, easily mistaken for some rocks shifting. But slowly and surely, the noise grew louder and louder until Guy understood what it was. It was La Bruja's laughter and it grew from mirthful to maniacal as it grew louder! Suddenly, an explosion erupted from the rubble, freeing La Bruja and allowing everyone to see her condition. Her wings were mangled and broken, patches of scales had been torn off and bleeding, one of her horns had broken off, but still, despite all the damage, her eyes revealed a haughty confidence that had not diminished!
"Poor little puta!" said La Bruja, in a mockingly soothing tone, "So desperate for hope that you truly believe that one lucky blow could truly end our dynamic struggle! There is only one way this fight can ever be settled…with one of us DEAD!" And with that, despite obvious injuries, La Bruja charged straight SheZow, claws and Teeth ready!
Having already gone through this stage of the fight before, SheZow decided to use his super speed to stay out of the way of La Bruja's claws and teeth! This proved easier said than done! Though SheZow manage to avoid most of the blows, La Bruja proved relentless to get a killing blow on SheZow! Eventually, SheZow ran to the center of the field, where the statue head had been, to try and think of a way to stop La Bruja!
It was then that SheZow noticed…La Bruja's heart was exposed! There was a raw patch on La Bruja's chest, probably from when she got hit by the statue head! Despite SheZow being able to wound La Bruja, none of the cuts were deep, mostly because the scales seemed almost designed to reflect the laser energy! So here, presented to SheZow was a way to end La Bruja's reign of terror…with a death blow! This caused Guy some hesitation!
Throughout his year long career as SheZow, one of the rules Kelly had practically pounded into Guy Hamdon's head was this: SheZow never killed! Throughout her own career as SheZow, there had been no reported instances of Guy's aunt Agnes using lethal force! As such, Guy had never even thought of killing one of his enemies! None of them had ever really given him a reason to; not Tara, not SheZap, not even Mega Monkey and his whole existence seemed to be centered around killing SheZow!
Guy, as SheZow, had always been able to use quick thinking and more than a little bit of luck to get out of any dangerous situation without lethal force. Now, however, it seemed he had little to no choice. That statue head had been his last chance to just knock out La Bruja and drag her off to jail! So after thinking about it long and hard, SheZow summed up his thoughts with this phrase: "LASER LIPSTICK LANCE!"
For those of you who are no doubt curious, one of the experiments of Guy's Aunt Agnes was modifications to the Laser Lipstick. Among them was the 'Lance mode' as Guy likes to call it, which doubles the length of the handle and blade of the Laser Lipstick. It was designed in case SheZow needed to keep her foes at a distance or was in a close combat fight with a massive opponent. It was partially inspired by an old painting of the Medieval SheZow riding a horse with a lance against a dragon. The irony of the current situation was truly staggering!
While Sartana saw the change in the SheZow's stance and his choice of weapon, the transformed human had given into her animal instincts and only wanted one thing: SheZow's battered corpse! Charging with wild and reckless abandon as Guy aimed the lance straight at her; La Bruja heard a nearby church ringing its bells for the midnight hour. La Bruja could not resist one last quip before the fight's end! As she approached SheZow, La Bruja began to gloat poetically, "Ask not for whom the bell tolls, THE BELL TOLLS…" La Bruja leaps at SheZow, hoping to crush him under her weight…
Only to find the Laser Lipstick Lance, sticking straight through her chest into her heart! Gaping in disbelief, the dragon draws itself back from the lance, leaving a smoking hole straight through her body! She slowly lost her dragon form, turning back into the costumed villain Megadale had come to know. Her clothes were tattered, her tattoos uneven thanks to the cuts and scratches, but the same hole in her chest and look of shock and disbelief on her were face remained the same!
"…for me?!" asked La Bruja, shocked at her own defeat and apparent demise. Her look of shock, however, changes into rage, as smoke appeared from her wounds! Then purple-black fire erupted from all of the wounds and her eyes! SheZow took a step back, not sure as what was about to happen! La Bruja's mouth opened, unleashing an unearthly howl:
"RRRRRRAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!"
With that howl, La Bruja's earthly body exploded in black-purple fire, with the force of a bandolier of hand grenades! SheZow, having looked away from the explosion, turned back to see…a black flaming skeleton figure charging straight at him! All he could do was put his hand in front of him shouting in defiance, when something amazing happened! A pink colored shield appeared and deflected the hideous apparition away! Frustrated at its thwarted efforts, the spectre repeatedly bashed at the shield, to no effect! As the last chime from the church bell could be heard, the ghoul looked around and shrieked before fading away!
A silence gripped the field, before a rousing cheer was heard from the impromptu audience! The police, including Officer Hamdon, threw their hats in the air with absolute joy! Maz and Kelly (still in disguised) rushed over to SheZow's (Guy Hamdon) side, enveloping him is a group hug of warmth and cheer! Normally, Guy would have told them to knock off with the mushy stuff but right now he just wanted to enjoy it! He won, he finally won! As Maz and Kelly let go, SheZow took a confident step forward…and fainted onto the ground! What the battle had been exhausting!
Disclaimer: I don't own SheZow, as I have said numerous times before. Do we really need to write that on EVERY CHAPTER! I just think it gets annoying sometimes. Anyway, all that's left is the epilogue and some announcements I will make on upcoming stories. Don't worry; there is one last twist to come! So to all my readers, Happy Halloween! MUWHAHAHA!
1 Basically a combination of Disney's Maleficent and evil Cynder from Legends of Spyro
2 This paragraph is not a direct quote but it was inspired by a line in Jim Butcher's work in Ghost Story
3 I personally think Cynder's Boss Battle Music from Legends of Spyro: A New Beginning would work best but if anyone has better ideas they are allowed to listen to them