Chapter Twenty-six
Her eyes were blinded by a hot ray of florescent lights beaming down on her smooth skin. She felt like a sack of rocks as she shifted slightly to drag the covers over her head and shield herself from the bright light gazing upon her, a cold breeze howling around her and her head feeling like he had been hit by a hammer. Healer couldn't remember what happened apart from shouting and arguing and then someone, followed by a few others coming into the infirmary to help lift her up and onto a gurney where she wrapped herself up like a cocoon and stayed there for awhile.
Her face felt itchy while her legs felt weak and her body felt like a steam-hammer was in her chest, but she fought the urge to succumb to sickness and dragged herself up from the gurney and peeled her sheets off her. The cold prickled her arms underneath her coat as they kissed it gently, the rain lashing against the window suicidal-like and thunder roaring somewhere off in the distance. Healer grimaced and shifted her attention to the gurney with the white clothed curtain around it with no patterns to cheer it's occupant up, and then her question arose; Where was Medic?
He wasn't in the room anywhere fiddling with clipboards or rummaging through her draw for a spare Orbito clast or for a spare book to use. He wasn't anywhere to be seen and the lights in the theatre room were switched off, filling it with a sad monotone sadness.
''Doctor?'' She called out, rubbing her head and getting to her feet. ''Vhere are jou?''
She wobbled around the gurney to the curtain where she gripped it to stable herself so she didn't fall over, but her endless wait for a reply seemed to drag and drone on and she was beginning to get used to Medic ignoring her while he was in thought.
''Doctor, vhere is Kliner?'' Healer called out again, a wave of dizziness swaying her.
''In here, Healer.'' Medic's soft and melancholy tone replied.
Finally, she thought.
As she peeked her head around the corner, she was surprised to see her whole team crammed around the small doll-like figure lying on the gurney with more sheets bundling her up between them. Healer couldn't help but feel deflated as she smiled weakly and forced herself forward beside Medic's side and put a hand on the neck of the gurney.
''How is she?''
''Not gut, I am afraid. Za viruses are spreading quickly. She has lost all function in most limbs, apart from her left arm. And she is constantly slumbering.'' Medic informed carefully.
''Hey, Healer. Ya'll should know, we're here for ya.'' Engineer's soft accented voice tingled in her ears. It almost felt like a good dose of medicine had been administered into her cold body, but it was only an illusion she hoped she could feel. Her team could see how restless and drained she had been; Her cheeks were pasty like wallpaper mix and her eyes were puffy and swollen-though that could have been from her sobbing she had done with Kliner.
''Vat happened to me?'' Healer asked, slowly moving her hand onto Kliner's blue tinged hand.
''Jou fell from exhaustion. I heard shouting, zhen I came in and jou vere on the floor and Kliner vas in hysteric's. I had some fruende's come help, I do hope it vas OK.'' Medic smiled, a hand hovering behind her back as if he wasn't sure if he could touch her or if she would cut it off.
''Yeah...We brought some flowers and all dat.'' Scout added, shrugging his shoulders. ''We didn't ya know, know if we were allowed to come see her so...''
''It's fine.'' Healer assured. ''I'm sure she vould love it. She vill be so happy to see jou all vhen she is up.''
''And jou to, Mon Amie.'' Spy smiled, no cancer stick between his lips like usual and his face revealed for all to see. He was a pretty man underneath it, a man that Kliner had always described to be the perfect 'handsome devil'. Healer felt like crying again as the thought and nodded her head.
''I don't zhink she vill.'' Healer said. ''I vas...I mean I got angry at her and-''
''Why did ya get angry mate?'' Sniper chimed in, arms crossed and a stern look on his face.
''I didn't mean to. It's personal and I don't vant to discuss zhis.''
''How about jou lot stay vith Kliner vhile me and Healer have a vord alone?'' Medic sussed, taking Healer by the arms and escorting her out of the stuffy room before she could pass out again.
The theatre room was much cooler with the con on when they walked in and Medic had switched the lights on. Healer took herself to sit in the black leather chair where countless murders had taken place; Blood had stained the seat even though it had been scrubbed and cleaned until skin was red raw and the leather was tarred from the chemicals. The blood still stuck to it, still infested it like a depression plaguing Healer's mind. It wasn't going away.
Medic sighed and put his hands on his hips, his eyes gorging on Healer's slumped posture on the chair and her fair black hair hanging down by her hips like black liquorice laces. Her large fringe was messy and swept messily to the side while her hands balanced on the tops of her legs, and it was as if her sadness was growing in the room because Medic could feel it tremble through himself.
''Vell, look how far vee have got.'' He said to break the heavy silence ringing around them.
Healer looked up sadly. ''Hmm. I feel as though it is a brilliant breakthrough in science, but also a heavy burden on me and Kliner.''
''Zhing's never come easy.'' Medic sat down beside her on the arm of the chair, hands in his lap. ''Vee have to make za hard choices. Life is never easy vithout hard stepping in place. And I know how zhat feels, Healer.''
Healer bit her tongue and glared up at him, eager for him to continue.
He swallowed hardly and stared to the floor. ''Vhen me and me vife split, I hated her for it. She never understood me, never understood vhy I vas za vay I vas. Mein vatter vas alvays so hard on me for not being excellent, for never being the one to pick-up on zhings vithout asking to learn more. He hated it because I never followed the sheep's trail like most, and so I left vhen I could and started my own vork vith some other Doctor's.''
''Vere zhey nice?'' Healer timidly asked.
Medic waited. Cleared his throat, and continued, ''Nein. Zhey vere cruel to, because zhey didn't like me either. And so, I met Engineer on a business trip at a science event. Vee vere intrigued vith each other's vork, and zhen vee met a lady who vee all know as za Administrator.''
''So jou and Engineer vere za first to met her?''
''Nein, vee vere za second. Sniper and Pyro met her first. Za others followed soon after and vell, a few after zhat, along came jou.''
Healer trembled. It was weird to think that all that time she was fighting through her issue's, that Medic and her friends were doing the same thing. She couldn't help but feel as though it was her destiny to met them, and for a moment, she was glad she had been blessed with it and thanked the godly man himself.
''I am so glad I have jou. I just don't vant to loose her.'' Healer rested her head in her hands and swallowed the lump in her throat. She was certain that this decision would not only kill (hopefully not) Kliner, but it would also kill Healer on the inside to. She would just be a mere walking shell that people would knock on the side of her head and yell, 'anyone in there?'. and they wouldn't get a reply because she would want to be alone.
''My dear Healer.'' Medic softly said. ''Excuse me for zhis, but I feel it is much needed.''
Healer felt a pair of hands scoop her up into a warm hug that made her not flinch, but instead it made her want to hug back and be rocked by the man she had grown so close to since coming here. Whenever she was on the field and he was getting shot at, she would do anything to stop him from getting shot. If a Sniper had him in his sights, she would charge her uber up and use it on Medic so he wouldn't die, or sometimes she would jump in front of him and take the bullet herself just to know he was safe. The bond they had wasn't just on the field, and it was more then a friendship; If he ever died permanently, she wouldn't be able to handle that loss and she would most likely die herself.
She cuddled into him, snuggling her nose into his neck where it tickled and his scent of fresh linen and sterilized tools lingered and kissed her nostrils caressingly. Her heart was thumping like a rabbit's foot on the ground, her mind screaming to her if she was doing it right and her body feeling as though a touch of life had been breathed into her again. She didn't want to let go and she didn't want him to either, she just wanted to stay close to him like this, his warmth her duvet and his heart her entertainment to listen to as a lullaby.
''Don't leave me.'' She whispered.
''Never.'' He replied.
They both pulled away from each other and gazed into each other's eyes, a electric pulse connecting them together and there eyes searching each other for advice as to what they were doing; Healer knew they were leaning forward and so did Medic, but she didn't expect to feel his lips touch hers it almost felt like she was kissing a cloud. It felt almost invisible, but then his hand grabbed her hair and pushed her forward deeper into the kiss so she could feel it.
Her body grew hot and she felt odd about the kiss; Romance was never her thing as kissing was always a way to show love, but as a single tear slid down her cheek it was as if it had opened a new door for her.
The two pulled away from their intimacy, Healer smiled and bit her tongue as she savoured his taste to her buds a little more longer.
''Sorry.'' She said.
''For vat?'' He replied, hooking his hand with hers.
''For za kiss.''
''Don't be. It is za best one I have ever had.''
''Jou liar.'' Healer giggled, looking away.
''Nein, I am no liar.'' He grabbed her chin and forced her eyes on him. ''I am being honest. It is za best.''
Healer took a deep breath, rubbing out all the bad thoughts and refreshed her mind as she rose to her feet with the Doctor holding her hands in his, a brittle but tensed friction between the two of there bodies.
''I believe jou have to make a choice, Liebe.'' Medic solemnly said. ''Kliner is vaiting.''
''I know. How vill I tell her though? How do I tell her zhat she is going to have severe problems if I cure her? How vill I tell her to make zhat decision?'' Healer replied, her Doctor duties sitting at her side again. ''It vill be like telling all zhose patients before I came here zhat a loved one was or has died. Zhat vasn't as painful as zhis.''
''It's because it is a loved one jou know. One zhat jou never got enough time to spend vith. Jou should know zhis.''
''I do. Maybe I just don't vant to admit to za fact zhat I know I have to.''
''And vee vill do it together.''
''I have to do it alone.''
Medic nodded, his hands rubbing the tops of her knuckles as she sniffed away her tears and looked to the theatre doors, a longing zooning out expression painting on her face.
''I vill let za team sat farevell. And zhen I vill talk vith her.'' Healer agreed to herself; Because it felt like she was committing to something she didn't want to do, but yet there was a part of her that needed to do it.
''Alright. Vhen ever jou are ready Liebe.''
The walk was sort of like the Green Mile, only she was going to either be the executioner or the electric chair. Healer had brought the curtain around to let some cool breeze cool down Kliner as the team placed flowers in in a vase, Pyro put drawings down off her with fire coming out of her hands, Scout a baseball with her name signed on it.
''Coz ya know, I'm like technically a celebrity for being the most notorious.'' Scout added when Healer laughed and shook her head.
Engineer gave her a small horse toy while Spy handed her a card with a rose, Demo a badge with 'Best attitude' written on it with a fox, Heavy had made her a necklace with a twig carved bear on it while Sniper had handed her something odd.
He handed over a white and gold bracelet made out of pearls with a Koala hanging of one of the leaf charms. He slipped it over her bony wrist before tucking his hands into his pocket and tilting his hat down.
''She vill love all zhis.'' Healer said softly. ''It is much appreciated.''
''Ay lass, good luck.'' Demo cheered and patted her shoulder.
The team said there farewells to Healer and Kliner before making a painfully slow exit that felt like it dragged on. No one wanted to say goodbye, and Healer hoped that no one would have to either. Healer had prepped a needle filled with her blood just before the team had left and left it balancing on the metal tray beside her. She was going to make sure she could do whatever she could to help persuade Kliner into taking the chance; She wasn't going to loose her again.
When the team had left and Medic busied himself in the theatre, Healer propped herself in a chair beside the gurney where Kliner had left for almost more then a week completely lifeless. She was still, scrunched up and withered like a dead flower, and Healer had to shove back her tears as she grasped her hand in hers.
''Hey my darling.'' She cooed, smiling softly. ''I vanted to let jou know, zhat jou have some big choices to make. It may not seem big to jou or anyone else, but zhey are fiery important. Can jou hear me?''
She didn't reply.
''Hmm...I vanted to say I am so sorry for arguing vith jou. It vasn't jour fault zhat our parents were killed in an accident, it was Kila's. She emotionally tortured jou and I had no idea. I left jou to suffer through it because I vas so busy grieving. But jou vere zhere like mein little light, alvays on vhen I needed jou and alvays off vhen jou veren't meant to be. I am so sorry. I-I love jou, Kliner.''
Healer rubbed her top lip as she smiled to herself and watched Kliner's nose twitch like a rabbit. She was moving her eyes, probably the only thing she could still have control over, spared her beautiful power to see.
''I'm sorry...'' Kliner spoke, her voice all wobbly and weak. ''I didn't mean...All those zhings...I vas just angry at myself, is all.''
Healer kissed her hand and rubbed it along her cheek. ''Nein, don't be sorry. Kliner, I have to ask...''
''I know vat jou have to ask, and I have already made my decision.'' Kliner quickly interrupted, turning to her side and opening her Gem coloured Maldives sea green eyes. They almost took Healer's breath away with there beauty, she stifled a whimper and giggled.
''Jour going to let me help jou? I'm so glad because-''
''Nein.'' Kliner interrupted. Healer felt her heart flutter. ''I am not going to take jour offer.''
''V-Vat?'' Healer sat back slightly. ''Jou can't be serious? Kliner, darling, I have a cure and jour just going to deny it?''
Kliner nodded and smiled proudly. She reached a hand up to Healer's hair and brushed a finger down her cheek, entwining her hair around her finger like a baby snake and then letting the strand flow loosely. Healer was shaking her head 'no' to try and understand Kliner's decision, and it hit her hard like the train did her parents; She needed to persuade her harder.
''Zhink of all za fun zhings vee can do, Kliner!'' Healer smiled, squeezing Kliner's hand. ''Vee can go running, I-I can teach jou Archaeology, Sniper even offered to give jou sniping lessons! Come on, darling.''
''Nein. How do jou expect me to do...All zhose zhings vhile I am paralyzed? Or mein brain is not vorking right?'' Kliner argued sweetly.
''Vee can go travelling.''
''No.''
''Vee could maybe assign jou a job here! Jou could vork for us!''
''I said no, bitte.''
''Vee could even-''
''Nein!'' Kliner shouted, wasting her precious breath all because she wanted Healer to be quiet. ''I said no.''
Healer bit her tongue, her strength squeezing so hard on Kliner's hand it was turning pale and a pale blue. She couldn't think of anything else to say. She couldn't think of any other way to persuade her to stay, to take the offer up and stay with Her. Healer, shattered into a million bleeding shards of glass, had felt as though she had failed as a Doctor and a therapist. It may not have been suicide, but it felt as though Kliner was taking the offer to have Healer commit suicide for her.
''Kliner, please.'' Healer begged once more. ''Vee can make it better after za procedure. I know zhat my blut can corrupt cells if used on a relative vith za same type, but bitte, vee could make it as good as it can be for jou!''
''Nein. I have simply decided zhat vay before I even got sick.'' Kliner smiled, rubbing her cheek against the pillow and humming. ''I knew I vas dying.'' She mumbled. ''I just vanted it to be vith jou, once more.''
''Oh Kliner...''
Healer convulsed into a sob as she held Kliner's hand to her lips. She couldn't believe that Kliner was accepting her invitation to Death's party so easily, not even an effort to fight it off her or run away from it. She simply accepted it without arguments, without tears, without a care that she would never see Healer's face again. She wasn't hopeless; She was ready to go to a better place.
''Kliner jour still meant to stay here.'' Healer pressed once more. ''Jou have to stay here.''
''No I don't, and jou know it. I Von't suffer after jou put jour blut in mein. I don't vant to have no life and be a sitting hollow shell, vhen I can be doing better zhings in mein dreams.'' Kliner sighed softly, her eyes like flickering Emerald sea waves waving goodbye to Healer.
''In jour dreams?'' healer asked, tilting her head. ''Vat do jou mean?''
''I don't know. Vhen I vas resting, I could hear mutter and vatter, telling me it vas OK and zhat I vould be safe. Zhat zhey vere proud of jou. Zhat zhey can't vait for me to be zhere vith...Vith zhem.''
''Kliner please...I can't argue anymore.''
''Zhen don't. Let me be, please. I vant jou to do it.''
''Do vat?''
''Turn za life support off.''
''Nein!''
Healer felt her throat clench angrily, fear, shock, horror all banging against her chest like hands trying to escape there skin-tight prison. Healer was so shocked that her hands were trembling and she couldn't see through the watery flood pooling from her eyes. Her chest was tighter then a rubber band could ever be, the feeling of being squeezed crushing her as she fought the urge to fight against Kliner once more.
''Please?'' Kliner begged softly. ''For me? I'm in pain. Please, Healer?''
Hearing her name for the first time leave Kliner's mouth felt so sweet and soft and silky that it only made Healer want to hear it some more, and then again and then again until she got tied of it. She wanted to see more of her life with Kliner, she wanted to have an adventure with her, she wanted to bond with her more and there were so many words she had not spoken, never got the chance to say them out to her and yet it felt as though the time was tapping it's foot and watching it's watch as Kliner and Healer fought against it.
''I-I can't.'' Healer said. ''I can't kill jou! Mein Gott I vould die!''
''Jou Von't be killing me. Jou vill be helping me. please, please...It hurts to feel anything...It hurts to breath. It hurts to even think. Please, let me go peacefully.''
Healer bit her tongue, dipped her head and then she realised that arguing was pointless. Kliner had made her choice, a sorrowful parting that was good and sad at the same time, something she wanted and Healer wouldn't see her suffer anymore.
Healer couldn't breath properly as she shakily wiped her eyes and her nose with her sleeve, swallowed the lump back a little further and closed her eyes.
''OK...'' She mumbled. ''I'll do it, darling.''
''Oh, thank jou. Thank you...Thank you.'' Kliner repeated, almost as if she couldn't think of anything else to say.
Healer struggled to her feet again, not letting go of Kliner's hand as she faced the life support machine that beeped impatiently in front of her; She always hated how they looked, always felt as if it was scolding her for not being a better Doctor then she hoped. The switch was on the bottom of the machine just underneath the vitals, a red line and a green line deciding which fate to set the patient on.
Healer mentally psyched herself up, her tears gushing to the floor where they plopped and smeared in rainbow coloured shimmer. Healer bit her tongue harder, then harder, a hand reaching for the machine, then she bit harder and harder until tension was clogging her throat and she gasped for breath as she sobbed awfully.
''I-I can't, Kliner!'' She howled. ''I can't do it darling.''
Kliner nodded, a hopeful shine in her Jewel's. She opened her mouth, a sickly pale colour contouring her whole body and her eyes hung with awful rings underneath them. ''Yes jou can. I love jou.''
Healer shook her head, looked away, and then put her finger on the switch. ''I love you to, darling. Say Hallo for me, vill jou?''
And then, with a soft whimper, Healer added pressure to the switch and turned the machine off.
''I...I vill.''