Not Alone, Never Alone Chapter 26: Never Forget, a harry potter fanfic

Title: Not Alone, Never Alone
Author: The Original Horcrux
Pairing: Neville/Luna
Rating: T (for violence and coarse language)
Date: 08/04/12
Words: 3,607

Chapter 26
Never Forget

I remained in the hospital wing until I could convince Madame Pomfrey that I was well enough to leave. If it was left up to her, I would have been stuck in that awful white room for an extra week at the very most. The only disadvantage to being out of the hospital wing was that I was off the painkillers for my shoulder, and moving hurt a lot more without them. The wound had healed to a scab, thanks to Madame Pomfrey's potions and I was slowly regaining movement, I could almost reach to pull my box down from the top of my dresser. But the best part about it all is that Neville and I were together again. He was exhausted, as all his efforts were being put into catching the remaining members of the death eater revolt. I was glad to see Nott, Malfoy, Goyle, Zabini and their Gruff voiced leader thrown straight into Azkaban.

After the interrogation with Hannah, which resulted in her being relieved from the imperius curse and having her soul put back together, we had to tell our story, not only to Professor Flitwick and Professor McGonagall, but to the entire wizarding world via the Daily Prophet as well. Everyone was on edge, looking out for the death eaters that had attacked a young Hogwarts girl.

But still, Life goes on, and here we stand. The beginning of May was upon us, NEWTS were over and we were approaching the end of our time at Hogwarts. The four of us were somewhat heroes amongst the students. Ginny and Hermione were sort of put on the backburner, not that they were complaining of course. Ginny told me that it was nice not to have first years running around after them asking for details about the Battle that they'd rather be forgetting.

Abi was the only one among us that bore no physical scars from the death eaters. I of course, had my shoulder, Phoebe had her drooping eye, a result of hitting the ground hard after being knocked out with the purple spell and Aline had a long angry scar up her left arm as a result of the boulder landing on it. Abi however, bore more mental scars than the rest of us put together, she was the one they targeted to get to Harry through me, and she was the one they kidnapped, tortured and humiliated to get to Harry through me. It was all my fault that Abi woke up most nights screaming her head off for weeks after we were let out of the hospital, waking up half the house each time. It got to the point where the rest of our dorm moved in with their other friends so that they could get some sleep at night. Only I remained with Abi, she needed someone to comfort her and slowly, ever so slowly she managed to sleep the whole night through.

Our lives were slowly piecing themselves back together. I had Neville and my dad back in my life, which made my heart feel whole again. Phoebe and Aline's mum, Susan, told me that she didn't blame me in the slightest for what had happened to her daughters, even though the whole thing was my fault and Abi was become more like she was at the beginning of the year every day. It was starting to feel like the Death eater attack had never happened, until the nightmares started. It started off with me walking down a darkened underground passage with only wandlight to see. Those dreams alone creeped the hell out of me and I often woke up in a sweat with the covers tangled all around me. Those dreams progressed into having someone jump out of the shadows at me which made me almost pee my pants every time. I never told anyone, they didn't need to worry, It was my problem to deal with. Until it got to the point where I was scared to sleep, sitting with my back against the backboard of my bed trying to keep my eyes open for as long as possible before sleep drew me back into that horrible world.

I was walking down a dark underground tunnel, the walls were moist with water, It must've been raining. Torches in brackets lit the way, I wasn't sure what I was looking for, only that I must find it. The eerie silence pressed in on my ears and the crunch of the gravel underneath my feet was enough to make me jump out of my skin. I quickened my pace, walking faster now, I had to find whatever was at the end of that tunnel. The torchlight began to flicker and I lit my wand as a gust of wind blew out the torches. Wait, that's not right, I'm underground, there's no wind underground. An anonymous face loomed out of the darkness, blood caked on its fingers and matted in its hair, a knife glinting in its hand. It jumped towards me, knife outstretched.

My eyes flew open, staring at the ceiling of my dorm. My covers and pyjamas drenched in sweat, my hair was damp and went everywhere. I was panting heavily as the image of the face with the knife faded from behind my eyelids.

I am Luna Lovegood. I thought firmly. I am in Ravenclaw Tower, My dream was not real, I love Neville Longbottom, I will be okay. I repeated these affirmations over and over until my heart rate slowed down enough for me to not jump at every noise. I got up and poured myself some water and downed the glass in a gulp. I couldn't sleep, not now. I glanced at my watch, 4am. There would be at least another four hours until the rest of the castle got up. Wonderful, four hours alone in the dorm with everyone asleep. I walked over to the window and opened it. A light wind lifted my damp hair off my sweaty neck. It felt pleasant on my skin, as if the wind were comforting me, telling me that it was just a dream.

I stood there for a while, staring out over the vast expanse of the grounds. Just thinking, mostly about my nightmare, and why mine had only started once Abi's had stopped. I wondered if Aline and Phoebe had nightmares sometimes too. They had each other, their twin bond was stronger than anything and I was positive that If Phoebe had nightmares, Aline would know, and vice versa.

I was beginning to feel good enough to go back to bed and lie awake for the next few hours, when I heard it, a noise I hadn't heard in weeks, the bloodcurdling scream of Abi Rowe.

I sprung into action as lamps flicked on all around me. Xanthea tumbled out of bed, Padma sat up quickly and Bridget turned over and put a pillow over her ears.

"Luna, I thought you said this had stopped!" Xanthea groaned, picking herself up off the floor and getting back into bed.

"I thought it had" I yelled back over the screams, pulling the hangings violently from around Abi's bed to find her writhing around, trapped in that horrible sleep paralysis. "Abi!" I yelled, shaking her shoulder as she screamed "ABI, WAKE UP!"

No response, unless you count screaming.

"Abi please" I yelled "You need to wake up" there was only one thing for it. I seized the water jug from beside her bed and poured the whole thing over her head. She woke up, tears in her eyes, still screaming until she saw where she was, when she lapsed into sobs. I sat down on the bed and wrapped her in a hug. She buried her head in my shoulder as I patted her on the back.

"Hey, it was just a dream, it's not real" I said, doing my best to comfort her.

We sat there for a while, until she had cried herself dry. I sat back as she rubbed her eyes. I didn't think it was the best time to ask, but I had to.

"I thought they'd stopped" I said, rubbing her arm and she shook her head.

"They never stopped" she said, her normally strong voice trembling.

"But you haven't woken up screaming for months" I said, confused.

"I never stopped" she said blandly. That's when it hit me, every night she'd been waking up screaming, but none of us ever heard it because of the hangings that she insisted on keeping around her bed so that she could put silencing charms on them to keep us from waking up. She must've forgotten to put them up tonight.

"Abi, you didn't!" I said angrily.

"I couldn't keep waking you up every night could I?" she said indignantly.

"Abi, you've got sleep paralysis! You don't wake up unless you're forced to." I said, she obviously didn't get the magnitude of the situation. Abi nodded slowly. "Are you meaning to tell me that you've been waiting out the nightmares, screaming your head off and thrashing around for the last month just so you didn't wake us up?"

Abi nodded again "I didn't want to annoy anyone."

"Annoy?" I spluttered "You didn't want to annoy anyone? Are you kidding me? We're worried, not annoyed."

"Nope, we're annoyed" Xanthea piped up from her bed on the opposite side of the room.

"Thanks for the input Xan" I called back. "Not needed though."

"Welcome" she said back, sticking her middle finger up. I rolled my eyes and looked back at Abi.

"Come on, you can't keep doing this. I'm taking you to Madame Pomfrey and getting you the strongest forgetfulness potion that she has." I said, pulling her out of bed and putting on my dressing gown.

"Luna, it's four in the morning! I'm fine, really" Abi protested.

"Bullshit Abi, absolute bullshit. You've haven't been sleeping well for the past two months, and it's the memorial later today, you need to sleep and if you-"

"I WANT TO REMEMBER, LUNA!" Abi yelled "I want to remember what happened and I want to remember how it felt. It's the only think that keeps me knowing that I'm alive. I don't want to forget it"

I stood there, shocked. Abi had never raised her voice at me before.

"I don't want to forget my brother and sister, I don't want to forget the burning of Salem, I don't want to forget the death eater attack and I most certainly do not want to forget the interrogation. If I forget my life will have no purpose, I won't remember the fun times with Ellen and Orion, I won't remember how traumatic it was to be raped and humiliated by death eaters. If I forget those, I'll forget my life." Abi said angrily.

"Wow, Abi, that's really deep" Padma said from her bed in the corner, she was the only one who had followed our conversation from the start to now. "I personally would want to forget, but I fully support your right to be unhappy for the rest of your life if that's what you want."

"Shut up Padma" Abi snapped.

"Is this what you really want?" I asked worriedly "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure" she replied firmly. I shrugged and pulled off my dressing gown, tossing it carelessly over my trunk which sat at the foot of my bed.

"See you in the morning then" said Padma, turning off her lamp and plunging the room into darkness once more.

She denied it later, but long after Xanthea's snores filled the room I could hear her sobbing quietly, indicating to me that I wasn't the only one lying awake.

In the morning, Abi acted like she hadn't woken up screaming bloody murder earlier, In fact, she acted like nobody had even woken up during the night.

"Come on Luna, we're going to be late, and didn't you say that you wanted to walk down with Neville" Abi called as I sluggishly pulled myself out of bed that morning, after managing to scratch an extra hour of sleep after convincing myself that the nightmares wouldn't come back.

"Give me a sec" I grumbled, stumbling over to the bathroom and splashing cold water on my face to wake myself up. I summoned my robes into the bathroom and pulled them on, ironing out the crinkles in them with my wand as I went.

"Hurry up Luna!" she pushed, "We were supposed to leave ten minutes ago"

"Coming!" I called back, dragging a brush through my hair and whipping it into some sort of semi presentable plait. I grabbed my wand off the side of the sink and hurried to meet Abi, who was jumping up and down with anticipation in the doorway.

"Finally, you took your time" she said, hitting me on the shoulder, thankfully not my bad one. I grunted in reply, still not fully with it.

The castle was empty, everyone else was obviously already down in Hogsmeade for the first anniversary memorial of those who had died in the battle, one year ago. We were obviously late. The ceremony started at eleven and it was ten thirty. My stomach growled in protest as we ran past the great hall and into the entrance hall. We were just slipping out into the grounds when I heard a voice from behind me.

"Luna, can I speak to you please?"

I whipped around, it was a voice I knew only too well, the voice of Hannah Abbott. My palms immediately started sweating and my heart rate increased. I hadn't seen her since the interrogation or spoken to her since the last transfiguration lesson before Abi was kidnapped. Abi too tensed up at the sight of her.

"I- I guess" I stammered

"In private" she said, jerking her head to a chamber off the hall. I froze, there was no way I was going into a room with her alone. Abi seemed to read my mind as she bumped my arm and said,

"Hey, I'll be right outside the door"

I smiled at her gratefully and turned back to Hannah.

"Sure" I replied, walking into the little room, she walked in after me and shut the door. "So, what do you want?" I asked, trying to act nonchalant when really I was scared shitless that she was going to do something to me.

"I want to apologise, for what I did, even if I didn't do it knowingly, I still did it. You're a good kid Luna, you didn't deserve any of that. I'm really sorry" she extended her hand. I didn't take it, I was shocked that she was apologising to me, shocked that she didn't expect me to attack her. "Look, I understand that you probably never in a million years would want to forgive me for what I did, and I don't blame you, but I just need to hear it from your lips that you forgive me, so I can move on with my life."

That last statement made me boil up inside, she wanted my forgiveness just so that she could move on with her life, just so that she could have peace, when I had to live with nightmares, bear the scars and feel the pain of that battle for every day of my life, for as long as I lived. I just couldn't give her that satisfaction, even if she genuinely was sorry. I jumped down off the table that I'd been sitting on and walked towards the door, wrenching it open.

"Luna, where are you-"Hannah started.

"I'll forgive you Hannah, but I'll never forget." I said, before slamming the door shut behind me.

From my seat in the Hogsmeade service I could see Mrs Weasley crying silently, and of course I knew why. This day marked the anniversary of Fred's death. No wonder Ginny had been so stony the last week, I mentally smacked myself in the head for not remembering. I made a mental note to apologise later. The list of casualties must've set her off. So many people that she had loved had been lost one year ago today.

"And I now call on Harry Potter to remember those who were lost in the Battle of Hogwarts." The little man who had conducted Dumbledore's funeral at the front said. I saw Harry walk up onto the stage and pull out a piece of paper and set it on the podium in front of him, cleared his throat, and began to speak"

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Girls and Boys, today marks the first anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. One year ago today people fought against the death eaters, One year ago today, people lost their loved ones, one year ago today we united as the wizarding community and brought down the evilest wizard who ever lived. But I'm not here to talk about that. I'm here to acknowledge those who fought, and those who died. One year ago today, mothers lost sons, brothers lost brothers, sisters lost sisters, sons lost fathers, sisters lost brothers and mother's lost daughters. Most of us sitting here today are still left with the scars that we suffered one year ago, we are no closer to healing now than we were then, and we never will be. But in a world now struggling to heal, it is important that we accept everyone for what they are, Muggle born, Half Blood or Pure Blood, because if we discriminate, we allow the past to repeat itself, and the past must never be repeated. I thank you all for coming today to acknowledge, honour and remember those who died in the Battle of Hogwarts, one year ago today." Harry concluded his speech and walked off the stage.

I felt tears stinging in my eyes, it was then that I realised how much I missed everyone who had died. Tonks, Lupin, Fred, Harry was right, the scars we suffered then are no nearer to healing now, and they never will be. I felt a tear escape my eye and roll down my cheek, turning to see other students who had fought in the battle all crying into their handkerchiefs, remembering the events that had happened.

"Now, If you could all stand for a minute of silence to remember those who gave their lives" the little man in black said, and as one, the entire service stood, bowing their heads as the little timer flipped over, signalling the start of one minute. Silence pressed in from all sides, aside from the occasional sniff from someone who had been crying.

I now understood why Abi didn't want to forget all of the terrible things that happened to her, I never wanted to forget the battle, although it was horrible and something that no one should experience, it also defined a whole part of my life, the part of my life that lead me to Neville, the part of my life that I could tell my children.

"Enjoying yourselves are we?" A drawling voice came from behind the service, magically magnified. Before any of us could turn, the three broomsticks was in flames and people in masks were appearing all over the place. The third battle had begun.

AN: Phew, finally got that written. OH MY GHAD! THERE'S ONLY THREE CHAPTERS LEFT! Annd I have them all written, which means if you review they'll come extra extra quick! I'll update when I get 10 reviews, or 1 week, whichever comes first. Sooo, what did you think? Please drop me a line and tell me. It only takes a minute. Holy crap I can't believe I'm almost finished this story! This is insane!

There'll be another chapter and then a two part epilogue AND THEN I'M DONE! Oh man I'm really excited, I've never finished a fanfic before!

Questions for you to answer

Did you think the nightmares were a realistic thing to add in?

Did you think that Hannah's apology was sincere enough?

Reviews make the next chapter be full of exciting surprises!

Until Next Time

~ The Original Horcrux~