A/N: Okay, so if you have no memory of this fic or are sick of putting up with my long (looong) stints of writer's block, I completely understand. I want to finish this story, and have an idea of where I'm going, but for some reason I'm struggling. So bear with me...but if you don't, I can't blame you. :)

On the other hand, if you are still reading (or reading for the first time), thanks! And please let me know your thoughts.

But he also felt overwhelming relief. That Galinda was no longer an obstacle, but rather an ally.

It changed everything.

xXx

"It changes nothing."

Fiyero looked up at Elphaba in shock. It was later that evening, and the castle's other residents and guests had retired to bed. The two of them had been in the library working on their assignment...or rather, Elphaba had been working on the assignment. Fiyero had done nothing but chatter on ecstatically about the version of Galinda who had come to them, and about what all that would mean.

Up to that point, Elphaba had remained quiet. In his excitement, Fiyero hadn't paid her silence much mind, simply assuming that she, too, took comfort in the unexpected acquisition of their new ally.

He had, apparently, assumed wrong.

"What do you mean? Of course it does."

"Well," she said carefully, avoiding his gaze, "you're right, in a sense. It does change things, for the better. I'm glad that she knows you, and you her, and that the two of you share a past. I imagine it makes it much easier for you, to have it be her rather than a stranger. Plus, she seems quite likeable, if a bit talkative. And she clearly thinks the world of you, that much was evident..."

"Elphaba!" He interrupted, causing her to glance up at him, startled. "What are you talking about? Surely you can't still think that I would...that there would ever be..." He sighed, raking his hand through his hair. "Besides, she knows about us. About what we were to one another in the past. So she would never try to come between us now. Don't you get that?"

She sighed. "You said it yourself, Fiyero. She knows who and what we were in the past. But this is now. And now, there is no 'us' to come between. I thought I made that clear. There can't be."

"But, Elphaba," he responded pleadingly, "there can. Don't you understand that you're everything to me? You're all that matters. I love you, Elphaba. I always have."

Elphaba bit down hard on her lower lip, casting her eyes to the ground. Why did he have to make this so hard? Didn't he understand that it would be devastating for him—politically, personally—to marry a green freak? Circus freak, no less. If anyone ever found out...he would be a laughingstock. He didn't deserve that.

So she did the only thing she knew to do. The thing she hoped she wouldn't have to do. She hurt him.

"I don't love you," she said quietly, simply. Coldly. It took everything she had to steel herself, to ensure that there was no tremor in her voice that would belie the truth. "I never did. I didn't want to hurt you, because I do care for you very much, but as a...a friend. A brother, almost." She swallowed hard, willing herself to go on. "You wanted so much for things to be like they were before...for me to be her, your Elphaba. So I tried to reciprocate your affection, and I truly was flattered." She met his eyes then, her own almost cold with their guardedness, hiding the powerful, painful emotion that felt like it was burning her from the inside out. "But I'm not her, Fiyero. And I never was. I don't...I don't feel the way she felt."

It was a long while before Fiyero could even find it within him to speak. "You're...unbelievable, you know that? Absolutely unbelievable."

She watched him quietly for a moment, then stood and came to sit next to him. "Fiyero," she began gently, her forced coldness melting, "you have to understand-"

He abruptly got up and moved away from her. "You know what? No. I don't. And regardless, I can't. But you know what I do understand? That you are stubborn to a fault, even when you are completely, utterly, horribly, misguidedly wrong. And you know what else I understand? That I apparently care a hell of a lot more about you than you ever will about me."

She stood then, almost unconsciously reaching a hand out toward him. "Fiyero, you know that's not true!"

He laughed mirthlessly. "You keep telling me what I understand and what I know. But you're wrong, Elphaba. I don't know anything, anymore. Including you."

He drew a deep breath, recognizing that he shouldn't continue, but, at that moment, too angry to care.

"So I guess you're right about one thing. You aren't the Elphaba that I knew, before. It was stupid of me to think that you were. You're nothing like her."

Elphaba took a step back from him. She glanced away, but not before he caught a glimpse of the crack in her mask, the desolate, shattered pain that reflected itself in her eyes.

For a brief moment, he wanted to apologize. To comfort her. But then, she didn't want that from him, did she? She didn't want him at all.

So he left the room, without another word.

The next morning, Fiyero sat alone in the garden, so lost in thought that he didn't hear Galinda approaching.

She sat down next to him.

"So here I am, having traveled years back in time to visit you, and here you are acting all moodified. Really, Fiyero, I expected better from you." She regarded him with mock seriousness, her tone gently chiding.

"Sorry," he mumbled, not meeting her gaze.

She sighed, becoming more serious. "What is it? What's wrong?"

He didn't answer her for a while, unsure of whether to tell her. Finally, he decided that it didn't matter.

"It's Elphaba. She's made up her mind that I shouldn't be with her—that it would be against my father's wishes, and bad for the kingdom." He paused. "She thinks it's best for everyone if you and I are together."

Galinda appeared thoughtful for a moment, then shrugged. "Maybe she has a point."

Fiyero looked at her sharply, and she grinned, raising her hands before her in surrender. "I was kidding, Fiyero."

He glanced down at the ground. "Yeah, well...I'm not really in the mood."

She sighed. "I don't know what you're so worried about. I mean, if you think I went through all this trouble just to sit here and watch you continue to be miserable-"

"But it's not just that, Galinda," he interrupted. "She said...she said she didn't love me."

Galinda waved her hand dismissively. "She's lying. Of course she does."

He paused, then shook his head. "No...I think she was serious. She said she cared for me, like...like a..." He almost choked on the word, "Brother. But that she didn't love for me like I loved her. Like the 'other' Elphaba and I loved each other."

Galinda wrinkled her brow in confusion. "The 'other Elphaba'?" she repeated. "Fiyero, Elphaba's Elphaba. It's not like they're two different people."

"But they are!" He argued, exasperated. "They've had two different life experiences, and-"

"Blah, blah, blah," Galinda broke in, annoyed. "Soul mates, remember? Soul mates don't stop loving each other, simply because they've had 'different life experiences.' Otherwise, they wouldn't be soul mates, right?"

Fiyero shrugged.

Galinda sighed. "I'll talk to her."

"You'd have more luck talking to a brick wall," he responded, glumly.

"Well, if talking to her doesn't work, I'll try that," she responded with a smile.

He didn't laugh, but sat silently for a long time, frowning. "Galinda...can I ask you a favor?"

She sighed dramatically. "Another one?"

That got a slight smile from him, but then he turned to her, again serious. "I don't know whether Morrible will be at Shiz, in this universe. But if she is, please...please watch out for Elphaba. She knows thats a possibility, and that if she sees Morrible, she should keep her distance...but that woman terrifies me. And even though Elphaba can be infuriating...and even if she truly isn't the 'other' Elphaba and doesn't care for me the way I do for her...even then, I don't know what I'd do if I lost her again. If anything...happened to her."

Galinda met his eyes, her own serious, and a little sad. "I know, Fiyero. I'll watch out for her."

They shared an awkward silence, then Fiyero broke it.

"What I did to deserve a friend like you?"

Galinda grinned wryly. "Oz if I know."

Almost too quickly, it came time for the girls to leave for freshman orientation. Elphaba had not spoken to Fiyero since the day in the library, and it wasn't for a lack of trying. Even if she couldn't let herself be with him, for his own sake, she couldn't bear to lose him, for hers.

But he wanted nothing to do with her. He seemed to become an expert at avoiding her. So when he came out to meet them at the carriage, her eyes lit up.

"Fiyero! I hoped to-"

He cut her off. "I only wanted to wish you both a safe journey," he said formally, although emphasizing "safe."

His coldness enveloped Elphaba, and she looked down, biting back emotions that she couldn't let him see.

"We will," Galinda answered cheerfully, although it sounded a bit forced. "And we'll be back in a tick tock. Take care of yourself, dearest!"

Elphaba inwardly winced at the term of endearment.

And with that, he was gone. And they were off.

They rode in silence for a while. Elphaba tried to shake off her overwhelming melancholy. After all, this is what she'd wanted, wasn't it? At least, it's what she'd told Fiyero she'd wanted, and he'd finally respected her wishes. She should be relieved.

In an effort to pretend that she was, and that everything was fine, she made an awkward effort at engaging Galinda in conversation.

"So...what's Shiz like? I mean, you were there...before, weren't you?" Elphaba asked.

Galinda nodded and shrugged. "It was school," she responded with a slight smile, wrinkling her nose.

Elphaba couldn't help but laugh. "You sound like Fiyero." She spoke without thinking, and the sound of his name coming from her own lips filled her with an almost painful despondency.

The other girl's smile became strained. Elphaba observed her quietly.

"You love him, don't you?"

Galinda glanced at her, surprised. "I...well, I guess I did. Once."

Elphaba shook her head. "No. You still do. I can tell."

Galinda was silent for a long while. "I don't know," she finally answered softly. "And anyway, it doesn't matter."

"But it does!" Elphaba responded emphatically. "It makes all the difference! That you know him, and care about him." Elphaba hesitated then, her own words making her feel a little nauseous. But she was certain that this was a good thing for Fiyero. He needed someone like Galinda, who was beautiful, and kind, if a bit flighty. Not to mention that the blonde seemed fun-loving, carefree, lighthearted, and altogether much less serious than was Elphaba herself. She seemed to fit Fiyero much better. And if she couldn't convince Fiyero of that, perhaps she would have more luck with Galinda.

If anyone was worthy of him, it was this girl sitting next to her in the carriage.

"You deserve each other," Elphaba said finally.

Galinda studied Elphaba for a moment with a slight frown. "You just...don't get it, do you?"

It was Elphaba's turn to be surprised. "What do you mean?"

Galinda huffed irritably. "He doesn't love me. He loves you. Always has." There was a sincerity to her tone, albeit edged with bitterness.

Elphaba sighed. "I know he says that, now. But he'll realize, in time..."

"In time?" The other girl interrupted. "For Oz sake, Elphie, he's spent three lifetimes with you, in one way or another. You don't think that's enough time for him to know, with absolute certainty, that he loves you?"

Caught off guard by how passionate Galinda had suddenly become, Elphaba fumbled. "I—I mean, I don't..."

Again, Galinda cut her off. "I saw him, right before I did the spell to send him back. I saw what he was like...has he told you about that day?"

Elphaba glanced up at her, confused.

Galinda seemed to hesitate then. She worried her lower lip and regarded Elphaba silently for a moment, before continuing with a sigh.

"He wouldn't want me to be telling you this, but...you were dying, Elphaba. He'd found you while raiding a fair set up by a camp of vagabonds, but it was too late. You were terribly ill, and you were going to die...and he knew that." Galinda swallowed. "I've never seen anyone so...broken. So incredibly devastated. I knew that if he lost you, that would be it for him. And I loved him too much to let him live out the rest of his life without you."

She paused for a moment, then continued with difficulty. "So you're right, I guess. I loved him, and I still do. And I know you love him, and you think that by forcing him away, you're doing what's in his best interest. But I know that by telling you how wrong you are, I'm really doing what's best for him. Because maybe you can't understand right now how much he loves you...but I can. I did. I saw him that day."

At that last, Galinda's voice hitched, and she turned suddenly to look out the window. Elphaba looked down at her hands, shaken, her mind racing. Fiyero had never told her that she'd almost died. He'd never told her that if he hadn't come back and found her when she was a little girl, she would have stayed there, caged, until it killed her. She shivered at the revelation. Closing her eyes, she leaned back against the seat, taking a deep breath.

She sat that way for a while, trying, without much success, to stop the world from spinning around her.

She thought of what it must have been like to die. She thought of what Galinda had said, about that day. And she thought of the day in the library...of the anger and defeat with which he'd left. She'd pushed him...her friend, her savior, her...lover?...she'd pushed him away too many times. So many times that even if what Galinda had just told her of his love for her were true yesterday, it was most likely no longer true today.

What had she done?

"We're here," Galinda said tersely.