Chapter 26 :
Facing him :
After half an hour of talking Angela and Maura finally decided to join Jane in the kitchen to have breakfast.
"Look at you all touchy." Standing behind the kitchen isle, Jane was pleasantly surprised to see Angela walking her right arm around Maura's shoulder.
"Well unlike you, Maura doesn't mind being hugged." Angela replied as she kissed Maura's cheek before releasing her from her embrace.
"You know Angela, contrary to popular belief, Jane is actually quite a hugger, a kisser and also a lot of things I should probably not mention." Smiling, Maura walked towards Jane and snaked her arms around her waist.
"Hey watch what you're saying, my mother and I haven't had " the talk" yet and I'd rather not having to go through it at my age." As she pulled Maura closer to her Jane pressed her lips against her in an attempt to shut her up. What a relief it was for her to be able to kiss Maura, knowing her mother approved their relationship.
"Look at you two bickering like an old married couple, speaking of which are you two planning on tying the knot anytime soon?" Now that she was completely comfortable with their relationship Angela has every intention of putting her nose in it and probing for as much information as she possibly could.
"Ma! Come on, we've only been dating for two months, I know you've been dreaming of seeing me getting married ever since I was a little girl but Maura and I are taking things slow so you're gonna have to wait, okay?" Her eyes almost popping out of her head, Jane could not believe how fast her mother went from being insulting and disrespectful to talking about marriage.
"It's legitimate question Jane, the two of you have been running from your feelings for so long that I think a wedding is long due and besides you wouldn't have to adopt the child if you got married before Maura gives birth. What? I have done some research." The truth was that Angela first instinct when she figured out that her daughter was in love was another woman was to do some research on LGBT rights because she was scared of never seeing her getting married or having children that would be legally recognised as hers.
"That's very thoughtful Angela and you are right. Should we get married before the baby is born, Jane would not have to adopt the baby but that would imply that the biological father waived his parental rights, which is something Jane and I actually would need to discuss." Sighing as she released Jane from her grip and took a step backward, her shame and embarrassment suddenly resurfacing. How many obstacles would they have to overcome before being a family?
"Yes, we do and I actually have a plan to track him down. Hey look at me, what ever happens we'll face it together okay?" Taking a step towards Maura, Jane pulled her back in her arms and kissed her forehead. Despite having avoided the subject of this child's father, Jane had not stopped thinking about him and had come up with a plan to find and deal with him.
"I will leave you two alone. I'll have breakfast later." At that precise moment Angela felt it was time to discreetly walk to wards the back door to give the two women the privacy they needed to address this matter.
"You do?" Rising her head Maura was surprised that Jane wasn't running away from this issue and that she was willing to deal with it.
"Yes, come here. You told me you did not remember his name but that he took you to his place so maybe you could remember where he lives." The simple thought of having to face her child's biological father enraged Jane because she had no idea of how he would react and if he would fight for custody but she knew that facing him and having him waive his parental rights was the only way that she would ever have legal rights on the baby.
"There is something I haven't been honest about Jane." Settling on the couch, Maura took a deep breath and tried to gather her thoughts as best as she could. She had lied to Jane and she could only hope she would forgive her.
"About what?" Jane replied, rising her eyebrows as she reached for Maura's hand.
"It's not that I don't remember his name, I just never bothered to ask him but the good news is that I remember his plates number so we should have no trouble tracking him down." Wrapping an admission of guilt into a good news, really Maura?
"That's terrific news!" The shame on Maura's face was so overwhelming that Jane chose not to mention her lie. Resentment and guilt had talken enough away from them already.
"The only reason I remember is because he had a red Ferrari with custom plates." Looking at Jane in the eyes, analysing her facial expression Maura could see that she was sincere and that she was not mad at her. How could this be? She had lied to her after all.
"Good, we'll go to the station and run them."
"Aren't you going to say anything about the fact that on top of lying to you I had sex with a man without even bothering to ask him for his name? Don't you think it was a completely reckless behavior?" Jane's sudden forgiveness was bothering Maura, she wanted, she needed Jane to blame her, not to forgive her that easily, what she did was terribly wrong and she needed to be punished for it.
"With everything I see on the job yes it was stupid and reckless of you because that guy could have been a rapist or a murderer but I won't judge you for it. I had just left you, you were heart broken and you needed a way to cope with your pain, nothing wrong with that. Actually I'm the one who should apologise over and over for leaving you because If I hadn't none of this would have happened." Maura's guilt over sleeping with that guy was almost as intense as Jane's guilt over leaving her but Jane knew she was the only one to blame for Maura's actions and she was willing to do everything in her power to make up for her actions.
"But I wouldn't be pregnant." As excruciating as living without Jane not knowing what she could have done to push her to leave was, Maura chose to see the bright side of the situation. If Jane hadn't left, she wouldn't be pregnant and that made up for all the nights she had cried herself to sleep.
"True which is a blessing so how about we stop punishing ourselves for our past actions? We need to move on Maura, we really need to." Yes, it was time for both of them to get rid of past bitterness and self blame and look forward, they owed it to their child to move on.
"Okay but for us to do that we need to deal with him, will you drive us to the station after breakfast?" Maura knew that the both of them had a million things to take care of before leaving Boston but facing her child's father was her absolute priority.
"Absolutely. Come on let's get something to eat. I made your favorite omelette and a fruit salad, should keep you going until lunch." How was Jane going to deal with this situation? Would she have to dig up in his past and threaten him or would Maura be able to convince him?
About an hour and a half later Jane and Maura drove to the station and stepped foot in the square room for the first time in months. Walking towards Frost's desk holding hands, they couldn't help but feeling a bit unsettled knowing they would never work here ever again, that their lives were now in Vermont, away from that career they loved and had spent so many years to build.
"Jane, Doc. What brings you here on a sunday?" Smiling at first as he saw his friends walking towards him, it only took a second for Frost to realise that they were probably here to give their resignation but he couldn't help but being incredibly happy to see that Jane and Maura were finally together and that they had found a place where they suited them and where they could build a new life far from Hoyt or all the other ghosts he knew had been haunting Jane for years.
"We're good , we're actually here to see you. Would you mind running that plate for me please?" Far from feeling guilty for using the department ressources for personal reasons Jane handed a piece of paper where Maura had written the guy's plates number.
"Sure, give me a minute...So when will you be talking to Cavanaugh? He heard that you were back and he wants to see you, both of you." Entering the plates number on his computer, Frost took a second to look at Jane and Maura. They were standing in front of him, holding hands visibly comfortable regardless of the number of fellow officers that were watching them.
"Does he know that we're not planning on staying?" Gently squeezing Maura's hand, Jane started to curse Frankie, she was going to kill him with her bare hands if he had dared to tell their boss that they weren't planning on giving their resignation. Cavanaugh had always been very trusting and supportive of Jane ever since she had joined homicide and he deserved to get a proper explanation.
"No, don't worry, you'll have the pleasure to tell hin yourself. Here we go, that car is registered to a Trent Hayes and ...he was killed in a car accident two weeks ago and he's actually still down at the morgue." Unfortunately Frost had no idea who this man was and as he gave them the news as casually as he possibly could .
"Oh my God..." Checking Frost's computer screen to confirm it was him, Maura then literally collapsed in Jane's arms. This was not the way it was supposed to happen.
"Oh baby, I'm so sorry." Far from being happy with the way things had turned out, Jane pulled Maura in her arms and held her as tight as she possibly could and gently kissed her forehead knowing that despite not knowing this guy Maura was going to feel responsible for his death and that she was going to mourn him.
"Did you know him?" Slightly panicked, cursing himself for being so indelicate Frost had no idea of what was going on.
"It's a long story. Why is he still at the morgue? Is there an investigation going on?" If there was an investigation Jane had every intention of highjacking it and finding who had killed this man, not for her but for her child's sake.
"No. Apparently he was crossing the road outside his law firm when he got hit by an SVU. There was an investigation but it was concluded that the car's brakes just malfunctioned and it was filed as an accident but as he had no family his body hasn't been claimed yet." As he turned his computer screen for Jane to get a better view, Frost immediately recognised that look on her face telling him they were just about to re open this investigation.
"I will claim his body." Maura replied rising her head. She did not know that man but he was the father of his child and she felt compelled to take care of him and give him a proper burial.
"Are you sure?" Jane wasn't even surprised and frankly couldn't object or see how claiming his could be a bad thing.
"Yes, I'm sure. I might not know him well but he's the father of our child and he deserves a proper burial." Maura replied, whipping the tears of her face with her sleeve.
"And we'll give him one, I promise." Jane replied kissing Maura's forehead.
"What baby?Are you pregnant?" Did he hear properly? Was Maura pregnant? Was that man the father? That would certainly explain her reaction and desire to take care of his funeral.
"Yes I am and I would like to see his body please."
"Sure, but you know Doc you're still the Chief Medical Examiner so you can se the body and release you under your care anytime you want." Standing up, Frost grabbed his jacket and walked towards the elevator, determined to be there with his friends and support them through this terrible ordeal.
"Right, right." And just like that Maura realised that she didn't even thought of herself as the Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts and she came to understand that it was time for her to focus on the livings not the dead.
So that day Jane and Maura went down to the morgue to pay their last respect to that man they didn't even know but who had given them the most wonderful gift they could have hoped for.
A few days later a small and tasteful funeral was organised by Maura and Angela who despite never meeting that man could feel Maura's pain. To Maura's big surprise despite not having any family Trent had a lot of friends from his firm that had come to pay their final respect to him. Standing there, holding Jane's hand Maura spent a couple of hours listening to every single one of them pay hommage to this man who according to them had the biggest heart any human being could have. Listening to their testimonies Maura learned that despite being a corporate lawyer Trent was not heartless and that he spent all his free time volunteering with several organisations, helping children that needed an advocate. Far from releasing her of the guilt of having waited that long to come back to Boston and tell him about this pregnancy, Maura at least got a glimpse at the kind of man he was and knew that once her child would reach the proper age she could tell him what a formidable man his or her biological father was.
Hi guys! I hope you're not disappointed by the way I handled the situation but I couldn't bring myself to have the guy fight for his parental rights and have Jane threaten him again the way I did in two other stories.
On another note, I think you'll agree with me when I say that my writing has been terrible those past two chapters and I think it's a sign that this story has run its course. The general plot about was Jane's denial and refusal to face her feelings. I think I managed to resolve that pretty well and that it's time to write the conclusion to this great story. I still have two chapters in me and I promise you I will try my best to bring you the good writing I had accustomed you to!