I'm so sorry that this has taken so long to be updated. Life changed and got busy and weird and it's summer and I've just written three chapters in under a day, so I don't really know what to say. This fic is not abandoned, but I cannot promise regular updates. I will write my little tush off and get out as many chapters as I can before I fall off the wagon again. Sorry again for the wait, everyone. I love you all.
(This chapter isn't beta'd. I doubt any forthcoming chapters will be. Sorry about any spelling/grammatical errors!)
XXVI
Robb,
Torrhen's Square has come under siege. Rodrik has gathered two-hundred men to march South and root the invaders from the keep. I'm sure that by the time this message finds you, all will be well. I only write you to assure you that we are fine. I suppose, I also write because I miss you. I just wanted you to know. I miss you and I love you and every morning and every evening I pray for you and your mother and your sisters. We here are happy and wanting for nothing but your return. Worry not.
All my love,
Ella
Robb's hand twitched. He took a deep breath, reminding himself that just because there was no word of his family, that didn't mean that they were dead. He was still shaking, adrenaline coursing through his veins from his outburst moments before.
How can I call myself King if I can't even hold my own castle? How could he do anything at all until he knew the fate of his brothers, his wife, his son? His best advisors urged him to continue moving South, and he was torn. Should he not go back North to assure the safety of his family and land? Should he not make sure that when he went South and got Sansa and Arya, that Winterfell was still there for all of them to come home to? What was the point of all this if they had nothing in the North to return to?
Guilt festered in his stomach and he felt like he was going to vomit. Underneath it all, beyond all of the indecision and uncertainty, there was still the horrible truth that this was all his fault. He never should have sent Theon to Pyke, he should have heeded his mother's warning and never let his trust fall in the Greyjoys' hands. And then there was the horrible question of why. They were brothers, Theon had sworn it – now and always.
Rage replaced the guilt in seconds. He wanted to march North and take Theon's head himself. Regardless of all that past – he felt a thirst for blood in him like no other. But he tempered his thoughts quickly. Bolton said that he'd send his bastard to purge the Greyjoys from the North, and Robb trusted him (warily, though – he wasn't sure who to trust anymore.) He wished more than anything that he had his mother here to comfort him – gods be good, he thought, how must she feel right now? – and provide him counsel, but she was away still in King Renly's camp negotiating an alliance. He felt sorrow like a stab of pain in his heart when he imagined her receiving the news, all alone with no family to comfort her. His heart clenched, wondering if she felt anything like he felt when she received word. Lord Bolton had approached him while he was talking with Talisa, had reported that there was news from Winterfell in such a grave voice that he thought his chest would burst from fear. Robb shook his head.
He looked down at the letter clasped in his hand, swallowing thickly. Ella and the boys were alright, they had to be. He couldn't afford to think anything different.
"Shh."
Benjen whined lowly and Ella froze. Not now, she thought. Please, sweet boy, be calm. Osha seemed so sure that her plan would work, and Ella definitely hoped so. Winterfell was no longer safe for any of them. A high whistle cut through the air – their cue. Rickon had Shaggydog at his side, and Summer trotted along beside Hodor, Bran in his arms. Osha put her arm around Ella, leading them all out and away from Winterfell.
They escaped from their home under the cover of the darkness of night. Ella had scarcely been out of Winterfell and had no idea where Osha was leading them, but the wildling seemed sure that she was taking them somewhere safe. Osha had cared for Bran and Rickon for months and Ella trusted her, and she knew that if that trust was ever betrayed, that Summer and Shaggydog would be more than able to take care of her.
They hid down in the hay bales of a farm close by. Osha had them wade through streams to lose their scents, but they were warm huddled close together in the pile of hay bales. Ella kept Benjen pressed close to the front of her chest, worried that he might get too cold in the night. But he had his father's blood in him, the blood of the North, and Robb hardly ever seemed bothered by the cold, so she hoped that Benjen would be alright.
Ella could hardly sleep that night. Whenever she dozed off, she jolted awake soon after, worried that the next time she opened her eyes, it would be to see the faces of Theon and his men come to kill them. And she had no doubts that they would kill them. She didn't know why they were even alive – Theon didn't seem to have any intention to ransom them, and all of his men wanted them dead. Her best guess that that Theon didn't have it in him. For all his haughtiness and 'Prince Theon' business, he couldn't kill them. They were the best thing he had to a family, and even when his loyalties turned, he could not see them dead.
But she knew Theon well enough to figure that since they escaped, his heart would change, and if they were caught, they would die. She had no doubt in her mind. And Bran, and Rickon, and Benjen…the boys were all too young to die. Ella supposed, in the back of her mind, that she was, too, but she would much rather die than see the boys dead. But Osha was going to keep them alive. She was going to keep them hidden from the Ironborn. And even if the Ironborn did find them, then perhaps Shaggydog and Summer would put up enough of a fight for them to get away.
Ella didn't know how Osha could tell time out here, but she roused them all in the early morning.
"Daybreak is in an hour," she said, voice hushed. "And them Ironborn is going to be looking for us. We'll head back to Winterfell, and when they're gone looking, we'll sneak back in."
"And do what?" Ella asked, worried. "When they return they'll only find us again." And kill us, she wanted to add, but didn't want to scare Rickon.
"We'll hide down in the crypts," Osha replied. She seemed to have everything planned out. Ella figured that she probably had a lot of experience hiding. It was the best thing they had, since otherwise here in the hay bale they were no better than sitting ducks. So an hour before daybreak, they picked up from the farm and began back to Winterfell along the same path they came, even wading through the river again.
Osha found a nook where they could hide until the Ironborn left. It was uncomfortable, but Ella was loathe to move, sure that the Ironborn had vigilant eyes everywhere. Two hours they'd been hidden in the damp cranny before the Ironborn all came thundering out of the gates atop horses, yelling and urging on their searching dogs. When they were away, Osha urged them in, leading the way again. She kept a vigilant eye for any ironborn who would stop them, but it almost seemed as if Winterfell was empty except for them. Regardless, she kept her dagger tight in her hand as she led them to the crypts.
They went all the way as far back as the crypts would go, in the darkest, dampest corner, huddled behind the grave of Lyanna Stark. Ella sat in the corner with Benjen against her chest and the boys at her sides, Shaggydog and Summer draping their bodies over all their laps to keep them warm. Osha and Hodor sat across from them all quietly.
Sometime later, Rickon grew hungry and began to complain. Ella and Bran were hungry, too, and so Osha told them all to stay quiet and stay put as she went above to find them food. Such as it was for several days – or that is what Ella, in the flickering flame light of the crypts, thought it must have been – they huddled together in the crypts with little more to do than to sleep and eat and drink the food and water that Osha stole for them.
Not too long after they began to hide down in the crypts, Osha returned one day with Maester Luwin in tow. He smiled in relief at the sight of them all, his face bright with joy.
"I was so sure you all were dead," he said, and elaborated no further when Rickon scrambled up to hug him. They sat and made idle talk for a long while, and Ella was sure he was not telling her the whole truth whenever she asked how things were above. Rickon had fallen asleep soon, curled up between Hodor and Shaggydog. Osha stood with Maester Luwin in the corridor of the crypt, talking in hushed voices, for she was sure they thought that she and Bran was asleep, too.
"Got as far as the farm, and then doubled back," she said, lighting another candle in their dark corner. "Walked through the stream to throw off the hounds. Hoped this would be the last place they'd think to look."
"You're right," the Maester chuckled, "So far."
"Who was that out there? Hung up at the gates?"
"Must've been the farmer's boys, and his wife," the Maester said, lowering his voice significantly.
"He killed them?" Osha asked in surprise. Ella looked down at the sleeping face in her arms with sorrow in her heart. "And passed them off as the little lords?"
The Maester shushed her. "They mustn't know," he told her, voice thick with grief. "Bran would blame himself."
"They'll never hear it from me," Osha promised. "The little lads have suffered enough."
Their conversation continued quietly. Ella reached out to brush the hair away from Bran's forehead. He met eyes with her, and she shook her head slowly. Taking a long breath, he looked down to his lap. Brushing her fingers over his cheek, Ella moved her hand down to hold his.
Ella didn't know what was happening above, but it was a horrible ruckus, and it scared the boys. At first she thought that it was their salvation, Northmen come to save them, for Robb would surely send some. But as everything continued, the sounds of fighting and destruction… Maester Luwin had said that Theon had twenty men. Robb would have sent more than enough. Why, then, was this going on so long? She felt fear in her heart at the thought of more Ironborn and held the boys close.
And then it was silent.
They waited out the silence, sure that there would be something more to come, but it remained. Osha beckoned them to gather their things, what little they had, and get up. She led them back to the entrance, opening the door slowly and peeking out cautiously. After a moment, something changed in her. She began to stand straight, moving out into the open.
"Osha!" Bran hissed. "What are you doing?"
But as they stepped into the light, they could see. The smoke brunt Ella's eyes, she held Benjen closer to her chest. It was destroyed. Everything was destroyed. Winterfell was in ruins. Fire and ash swept over them. Everyone was gone. Everything was gone. The wolves whined beside their masters as the group moved around silently, surveying the damage. Something, they weren't sure what, drew them all to the godswood. Perhaps they hoped that they might find solace there. They found something else entirely.
Rickon broke away from Osha, sprinting towards the broken figure that lie at the base of the heart tree. As if it hadn't all been enough, as if the sight of their home in tatters hadn't been enough to break them, the sight of Maester Luwin covered in blood was. They approached him quickly. Rickon, on his knees, began to cry. Maester Luwin, with pain in his eyes, greeted them all with a smile.
Tears rose to Ella's eyes as she sat before the Maester, a great lump in her throat made her feel like she was suffocating.
"Tell us what medicine to get from your chambers," Bran said solemnly. Rickon spoke with more passion.
"We'll make you better!"
"I feel just fine," the Maester said softly.
"They burned it down." Anger was plain in Bran's voice. "They burned everything."
"Not everything. Not you." He looked between them all. "But they may come back, you have to go. Put on your warmest clothes, pack as much food as you can carry and go north."
"North's the wrong way," said Osha, standing over them. "Their mother and brother are south."
"We don't know where," Luwin replied. Ella's heart wrenched. She yearned to be back with Robb again, to feel the comfort that Catelyn brought her. Maester Luwin spoke to Bran: "There are too many enemies in the south. Go to the Wall, to Jon. He'll look after you and let your mother know you're safe."
"I don't want to leave you." Bran twined his hand in Maester Luwin's.
"No more than I want to leave you. I pulled you into this world. Both of you, and the babe. And I've seen all your faces almost every day since, and for that I consider myself very, very lucky. Go, now, with Hodor. Go on. I'll be right here."
The boys stood and began away with Hodor, but Ella remained.
"I can't leave you to die out here," she said softly, voice thick with tears. Maester Luwin gave her a sweet look.
"I can promise you, dear girl, I would rather die nowhere else. In the godswood, I am at peace." He gave her hand a brief squeeze. "Now go."
She nodded, standing reluctantly and making to follow the boys. As she turned, she heard Luwin beckon Osha closer. She left them to their conversation as she left. When she reached the gates of the godswood, she paused, and when she turned back, she saw Osha with her dagger unsheathed. A low sob left her, then, and she turned away before she could see what came next.
She went up solemnly to her chambers, climbing over charred wreckage. Winterfell was silent. Everything was empty. Ella didn't know where everyone was. Did she want to? Analysa, when was the last time she had seen Analysa? She shook the thought from her head and continued on.
The room was almost completely untouched. Some of her things had been taken, nice jewelry that had been gifts, but everything else remained. She set Benjen in his cold bassinet, stripping the grimy clothes from her body and casting it aside. There was still water in her wash basin, freezing though it was, and she splashed it over her hands and face before turning back to her wardrobe. She pulled on a thick woolen dress, tying her heaviest cloak over her shoulders. Next she put on two pairs of stockings under her boots, then took her next warmest dress and, with the dagger from under the mattress, she cut it up into swaddling for Benjen. She took her other cloak from the wardrobe, her favorite one with the nice design, and cut it into a makeshift sling to hold the babe.
When she was done, she stood up straight and looked around the room. There were books on the desks, as well as her paints, but she had no use of those now. They were going north, to the Wall. It would be nice to see Jon again, she supposed. They hadn't been very close of friends when she left, but he was family, and she yearned to see a familiar face that didn't mean harm. She looked at the map spread out on the desk. She had kept it there to track Robb's whereabouts whenever he sent her letters. Last she'd known, he'd been at Oxcross. She wondered where he was now.
As she looked at the map, she saw, below them, Castle Cerwyn. She remembered that Robb had told her it was only half a day's ride away. She wondered if that meant, perhaps, that it was a full day's walk. Castle Cerwyn, she was sure, was still loyal to the Starks.
There were enemies down south, she knew – but how many thought that she was dead? How many would truly be looking for her? Going north to the Wall was a perfectly good plan, a perfectly safe plan, but something beckoned her south. It was beyond her yearning to see Robb and Catelyn again. Perhaps, if only she got to Castle Cerwyn, she could figure out a way to get to Robb.
But she didn't forget herself. She had to be quick about getting her things together so they could leave. She gathered Benjen in all his blankets and swaddling, placed him in the sling against her chest, then took the dagger from the bed and slipped it in her belt, hidden behind the folds of her cloak.
When she returned downstairs, she found Bran and Rickon with Hodor and Osha. Hodor had procured a wheelbarrow, filled with blankets for Bran to sit in. Each of them had packs with food and clothes inside. Summer and Shaggydog were sat dutifully beside their masters. Ella gave them a nod when she reached them.
"Let's go, then."
They walked in silence through the ruins of the castle, keeping their eyes down as they passed beneath the burned corpses of the farmer's family. Ella, with relief in her heart, noticed that there was no tiny body of a babe up there, and wondered what Theon used as an excuse. Probably something horrible, she figured, and decided that she didn't want to know.
When they reached the gates of Winterfell, Ella paused.
"What is it?" Osha asked, an undertone of urgency in her voice.
"You go on north," she said, making up her mind for the last time. "All of you go on."
"No!" Bran protested immediately.
"You can't stay here," Osha said.
"And I won't," Ella replied. "I'm going to go south, to Castle Cerwyn. From there, I'm going to find Robb."
"Then we're coming with you," said Bran. Ella shook her head.
"No, you and Rickon must go north. If we all go south it will be too easy for them to find us. Osha and your wolves will keep you safe."
"And who will keep you safe?" Rickon asked, tears welling in his eyes again.
"I can protect myself," she assured, and moved aside her cloak to show them the dagger.
"Do you know how to fight?" Osha asked. Ella was quiet for a moment.
"No," she replied, because it was true. She'd only ever held a sword, never used it. "But I know the fastest way to kill a man. And I know how to do it with a dagger."
Osha was quiet a moment, before giving Ella a sad smile. "Then go, and take good care of that babe of yours."
Ella nodded her thanks. She kneeled before the boys, pulling Rickon into her arms, and then Bran. "Keep each other safe. I love you."
"We love you too," cried Rickon. She had to peel his hands from her dress, kissing each one before letting them go.
"I trust you to protect them as best you can." Osha nodded. Ella turned to Hodor, giving him a smile. "And you, sweet man. Thank you."
She gave the boys each a kiss before turning away from them, beginning down the road south.
Lots of love to everybody who reviewed in my absence. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. It feels good to be back! As of this update, I have the following two chapters written. Hopefully I'll be writing throughout the weekend (that's certainly what I intend to do) and getting out as many chapters as I can. I make no promises on how many chapters I'll get out, and I can't promise that I won't disappear again for months, but this story is not abandoned and I will finish it if it's the last thing I do.
Now, in notes pertaining to the actual plot of the story, this is where things start to become AU. As such, I'll also be messing with the timeline of things juuust slightly. It's subtle now, but it will become more apparent in later chapters.
The next chapter will be up in about a week! I want to space out the chapters a bit to give myself time to write, but chapters 27 and 28 are pretty much done. Wish me luck writing everything else.
I hope you all enjoyed. I appreciate all of your support so much.
Until next time!
-Rex