Mario Mario and the Bottle of Lightning

by gamer4

Mario finally returns to the Smash Mansion, only to find himself plunged into a tournament between his school and two rival consoles- er, I mean, rival schools! Based on Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Fourth installment of the Mario Mario series! Complete!

26. Winter of our Discotent (Part II)

Gamer4 in. And, after a month-and-a-half hiatus due to power outages, a great deal of family business, and copious amounts of Xenoblade X, we bring you the second part of a random quicky that is neither random (it's been in the works for several months now) nor even that particularly quick- this is likely to be even longer than the last chapter! We've got a ways to go, so I'll just shut up and dive right in. See you on the other side!

Disclaimer: When you're out on the road and feeling quite lost, consider the burden of fame. And he who is wise will not criticize when others fail at the game.

Random Quicky

Winter of our Discotent (Part II)

Thursday

It was a perfectly normal transformation class. Samus stood at the head of the class, pointing at the white board as she gave a lecture about the morph ball, a specially-designed piece of armor that allowed one to- well, morph into a ball. Zelda was following closely, writing down pretty much everything she said, but Mario and Link were hardly paying attention at all- they were busy quietly playing X's and O's on a large piece of paper on Link's desk, doing their best to avoid the glares being shot their way by Zelda.

"Ha! I win again!" Link muttered under his breath as he drew a line through three X's. "Man, you suck at this game!"

"Shut up," Mario grumbled, somewhat distressed by his fifteenth consecutive loss. "Come on, best 16 of 31."

Link smirked as he began drawing the next grid, but was interrupted as the bell rang overhead.

"Which brings this lecture to a conclusion!" Samus announced. "Homework- watch Game Theory's video on the morph ball and write a five-page essay on why MatPat is full of horses***." Mario couldn't help throwing a smirk at Link as Samus said this, and received one in return. "Dismissed."

The class rose and began packing, but Samus coughed and raised her voice again. "Nintendoes, if I could draw your attention back up here for a moment!"

Mario, who hadn't really taken anything out except for a pen to begin with, slung his pack over his shoulder as Samus spoke. "I have an announcement to make! There is going to be a Christmas festival held in Kurain next Saturday, which, in honor of the holiday season, every student will be allowed to go to, regardless of age or class. Kurain will be open throughout that day for Christmas shopping as well. Make of that information what you will. Dismissed."

And so it came to be that there was quite a bit of excited buzzing as the class made their way out of the classroom. Mario was lost in thought- a big Christmas party, huh? Ought to be fun...

He looked up as Link approached him and Zelda. "That is pretty against the grain, isn't it?" he pointed out. "Usually, only a few students are allowed..."

"Yeah, but I doubt the younger students will be complaining," Zelda pointed out with a smile. "So, Mario, you feel like heading down to Kurain with us to do some Christmas shopping?"

Mario froze in his tracks. They were straying dangerously close to the subject he'd been hoping to avoid at all costs. He was on the verge of licking his lips nervously, trying to think of a good excuse, when Link leapt in, taking what was already something of a bad situation and turning it a million times worse: "I know you've got a fantastic present in mind for your good buddy Link, right?"

Mario froze, and slowly turned to look his friend in the face. Ah, crud, think of an excuse, think of an excuse!

Finally, he stuttered out, "Yeah, sure, whatever. Look, I need to... I need to get going soon. I'll come down to eat some lunch with you, of course, but then I... I need to go to the library."

"Library?" Link asked, his eyebrows rising to his bangs. "Doing some research, I suppose?"

"You could say that," Mario agreed, speaking as though he was choosing every word carefully- which he was. "But it's- it's something I need to do on my own."

Link's confusion showed on his face as he asked, "Why? We have all the same classes, surely there's nothing I couldn't work with-"

Mario quickly shook his head. "No, no, I can deal with this one on my own. Come on, let's get going, before all the good food's taken."

With that, he took off, not even sticking around to see the bewildered looks on their faces at his strange behavior.

XXXX

Indeed, Mario hoovered his lunch faster than that word's namesake, before tearing off to the library, leaving his friends behind. Upon arriving, he took a chair next to the window, opening up the catalogue he'd been perusing almost constantly over the past week or so.

The truth was, he did indeed have a Christmas present in mind for his good buddy, Link. It had caught his eye a while back, the ultimate gift, that could communicate to his friend just how important their friendship was. For they were friendly friends who treated each other... friendly. There it was, the holy grail of Christmas gifts- Red Ryder BB guns be smegged. Link would undoubtedly love it, and pretty much everyone else would, too, but there was one catch...

The moment he'd spied it, he'd instantly considered putting in his order at the aviary, until his eyes fell on the price. That cursed little number next to the item that taunted him, reminding him that, while he did have quite a bit of money at the Third National Bank of Smashing, it was more or less out of his reach at the current time. Looking through his personal funds for the Smash Mansion, he found himself sorely lacking what it would take to purchase such a fine gift. His money- two gold coins, a handful of blues, and a single rupee. The price... well, let's just say he didn't have anywhere near enough and leave it at that.

And yet, that gift was so tempting, so alluring...

He bent over near double to rub his eyes as the full, brutal realization dawned on him. If he wanted to get this present for Link...

"I'll have to get a job."

There was nothing else for it. No matter how hard he thought, he could think of no other way to achieve the funds necessary for this fantastic item. But even so... how was he supposed to find a job that would get him this kind of money before next week's visit to Kurain- the ideal time to pick up the present? Let alone one that would let him go easily afterwards- he was only 14, after all, he had a ways to go before he had to start thinking about a long-term career... but what options did that leave him?

Abruptly, words came to him, words he'd heard long ago, filtering through the chapters to his mind... You're going to find yourself in a pretty desperate situation this winter- you'll know it when it happens- and when you do, I want you to open up this envelope and follow the instructions, alright?

Well, it was winter. He was in what could be construed as a desperate situation. But did he even still have the envelope? Quickly, he turned to his pack and turned it upside down, emptying out all sorts of strange odds and ends that would be absent from just about any other schoolboy's pack before he triumphantly produced a battered old envelope. Tearing it open, he read the letter inside, consisting of eight simple words:

Floor 16, East Wing, Room 9. Please come.

XXXX

And so it came to be that Mario ascended the mansion up the several floors necessary to take him to the sixteenth, made his way to the east wing, and tracked down the plain-looking door with a crimson 9 painted onto it. He couldn't help but feel a sense of ominousness as the door creaked open to reveal a room that was almost pitch-black. "Enter," spoke a soft voice from the other side of the chamber. Mario stepped forward, looking around for the speaker. Eventually, his eyes adjusted to the darkness, and he was able to distinguish the room's sole feature- a small, rectangular window on the wall opposite the door, behind which glimmered a pair of bright blue eyes.

"Um... hi," Mario started awkwardly. "I got a letter telling me to-"

"I know why you're here," the voice interrupted. "The question is... do you know why you're here?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure," Mario scratched at the back of his head. "I need money, you see-"

"So you're after a job?"

"Not a full-time thing!" Mario interjected. "I just need some money to buy a friend of mine a Christmas present."

"Well, you've certainly come to the right place," the voice confirmed. "Do you know what this place is?"

"Honestly, I have no idea," Mario admitted.

"This is the troubles center," the voice explained. "When people around the mansion have a pressing issue that needs attending to, be it student, teacher, or staff, they come to me. They leave a request with me, along with an offered reward, and when other people need money, I offer them requests I think will best suit their talents and financial needs. You fill out the request, you get the money, everyone walks away happy. Pretty easy, right?"

"Seems simple enough..."

"Glad to hear it," the voice seemed to nod. "Now, I'm glad you came my way- I just got a request in, nice reward, fairly easy work..."

"What is it?" Mario asked tentatively- the voice made it all sound good, but he couldn't help but feel there was something shady in this whole affair.

"Pretty simple- there's a girl failing her Protection from the Evils class, feels the need to get some extra tutoring. That sound up your alley?"

"Well, it is my best subject..."

"Great! You start tonight! Meet her on the eighteenth floor, south wing, room 2, after dinner. She's a Retro- goes by the name of Chell. Put in an hour or two a night, you oughtta be set up. Here, take this- it'll prove you're with me."

Momentarily, a hand dressed in a red sleeve exited the window, holding a sheaf of paper that Mario took. Before he could actually read it, though, he looked at his own wrist, and noticed the time on his watch. "Holy crud, is that the time?!" he gasped. "Sorry, man, gotta go! I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date! No time to say hello, goodbye! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!"

So he yelled as he dashed out of the room and down the hall, the door slamming shut behind him. In the darkness, the voice chuckled. "See you tomorrow, Mario Mario..."

XXXX

Even at his breakneck pace, Mario was still a good five minutes or so late to the class, where he sat down, panting, next to his comrades.

"What was that all about?" Link asked, staring- Mario wished he wouldn't. "Did you really spend so long in the library that you were late after running here?"

"I'm fine," Mario shook his head, silently begging his friends to press him no further. "It's nothing, I'm fine..."

And he refused to speak about the incident for the remainder of the class.

XXXX

Mario spent the rest of the day struggling to dodge his friends' awkward questions, but had very little time to rest as they headed down to dinner- he had his first meeting with Chell soon enough, after all. Drawing more attention was the last thing he wanted, of course, but, as Goodwill says, on time is late, early is on time. The sooner he got to the meeting place, the better.

Unfortunately, this did mean he drew Link's attention as he downed an entire glass of milk in one gulp. "Geez, slow down a bit, why don't you? What's the hurry?"

"I've got to head to the library," Mario explained quickly, wiping some of the milk from his moustache.

"The library?" Zelda asked, raising her eyebrows.

Wrestling with the urge to snark out Zelda being surprised at anyone going to the library, Mario simply nodded. "Yeah. It'll... it'll keep me for a while. Don't wait up for me, alright?"

Without waiting for an answer, he swallowed one last slice of pizza, picked up his stuff, and tore out of the dining hall.

XXXX

Which, as it turned out, he needn't have bothered. As early as he got up there, it was an hour or so before the door finally opened, and a girl of about eleven years stepped in. He quickly looked her over, trying to size her up. Hmmm... icy blue eyes, black hair, somewhat dark skin... she seemed somewhat Latino and somewhat Japanese, all at once. She was dressed in a white shirt and orange pants, and carried a stubborn look in her eyes as she glared right back at him, clearly sizing him up as much as he was her. "So, you're the one the troubles center sent?" she asked.

"Yeah, it's me, Mario," he nodded. "And you are?"

"Johnson," the girl shot back as she approached the table Mario was sitting at. "Chell Johnson, first year."

"Well, Chell Johnson, first year," Mario spoke back, "the troubles center tells me that you've been having some issues with Protection from the Evils?"

"Yeah," Chell nodded, looking reluctant. "But you're only a few years over me. How can I be sure you're any better at it than I am?"

Mario was taken aback. She was certainly brash... "Well... um..."

"What, just because you took out Tabuu as a baby, you're supposed to be a Protection from the Evils prodigy?"

Mario's jaw dropped. There were plenty of things in that sentence that might have offended him, but one thing caught his interest above all others... "You say Tabuu's name?"

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Well... it's just that... most smashers..."

"Most smashers are idiots," Chell huffed. "How do I know you're any better?"

"Well, I guess you don't," Mario shrugged. "Tell you what- before we get down to any real business here, how about we get to know each other a bit first? I'm Mario Mario, fourth year, my best class is Protection from the Evils, and my favorite color is... red, obviously."

Chell eyed him for a second before slowly responding. "Chell Johnson, first year. Best class- Phys Ed. Favorite color- orange."

"A very pretty color," Mario nodded. "So, how about we get started?"

XXXX

It was a long few hours as they worked together, going over Chell's homework. Mario couldn't help but resist a flow of nostalgia as he recalled working through all these basics back in King Dedede's class. But there was something about Chell... something he couldn't quite put his finger on...

Just as he thought he was finally coming to what it was, he looked up, out the window, and noticed that the sun had long since sunk beneath the horizon. "Ah, crud!" he gasped. "Alright, Chell, we'll pick this up tomorrow. Let's go and get some sleep for now, okay?"

"Already?" Chell asked, looking out the window. "Oh- okay." For some reason, she sounded off-put. "Alright, I guess this is where I should give you your money..."

Mario reached out and felt a weight in his hand as she placed a single gold coin there. "Wait... that's it?"

"Well, yeah," Chell shrugged. "That's what it said in my request, isn't it? One gold coin a night."

With that, she turned and headed out of the room, leaving Mario staring forlornly at the single coin he'd earned.

XXXX

Not that he wasn't grateful, he reflected as he headed up to Rosalina's portrait. Now that he thought about it, it was kind of ridiculous to expect one girl to basically pay for this present in its entirety, but that didn't change the fact that one gold coin a night for the next week still wasn't going to be nearly enough...

"Something wrong, Mario?" came Link's voice as he entered the Nintendo hub. Mario became dimly aware of a light weight on his shoulder as the green swordsman placed a comforting arm over it.

"Nah, it's nothing," Mario shook his head. "Just... something didn't turn out... quite how I thought it would..."

Mario sighed as Link launched into a series of questions about where he'd been all night, all of which he dodged. Not especially gracefully, he'd admit, but he was tired. Sue him.

Finally, he yawned out a final answer- "I- I'm going to bed. We've got a long day tomorrow, you know..."

The statement was truer than Link could know, but Mario could still sense his confusion as he headed up the stairs to his warm bed.

XXXX

Friday

Mario woke up fairly early the next day. Looks like another trip to the Troubles center was on the table... but it could wait until lunch. Heading down to breakfast, he spied Zelda out of the corner of his eye and took a seat next to her, helping himself to some classic breakfast food as he did so. "Hey, Zelda."

"Mario," Zelda nodded her acknowledgement. "Where were you last night?"

"Out and about," Mario replied evasively.

"I see." Zelda didn't seem satisfied, but dropped the subject nonetheless.

XXXX

After this, the most noteworthy thing that happened that morning was Link's near-late arrival to their first class, which brought with it some awkward questions that Mario stepped deftly around. For the rest of the morning, things actually went pretty normally. Unfortunately, this ceased when they went down to lunch, and Mario, the Troubles center on his mind, began wolfing down some food.

"The heck, man?" Link questioned him as he devoured everything faster than a black hole. "Be careful- you're going to make yourself throw up!"

"Sorry, it's just- got something to do," Mario explained evasively.

"Oh, not again- what is it you need to do so bad that you can't even eat a proper lunch?"

"Actually, the way he's eating isn't unlike you, it's just weird because it's him," Zelda put in.

"Not helping, Zelda," Link shot back.

Mario swallowed one last mouthful, feeling relatively satisfied. "Well, see you guys," he bid his friends farewell. With that, he leapt up to his feet and tore across the foyer and up the stairs to the plain door leading to the Troubles Center.

Once more, he knocked first. The mysterious voice bid him welcome, he opened the door, and he stepped in. Once more, everything was pitch-black, the only thing visible of his strange host being those piercing blue eyes.

"Back again?"

"Yeah, I hit a snag," Mario explained, rubbing the back of his neck. "Turns out the job you gave me yesterday isn't going to cut it- not by a longshot."

"Are you giving up on the poor Ms. Johnson?" the voice asked.

"No, no, nothing like that!" Mario objected, raising his hands.

"Glad to hear it- she reported back to me this morning with very satisfactory results."

"She did?" Mario asked, his eyebrows rising. Shaking the thought off, he quickly continued- "That's not the point! The point is, if I'm going to get that thing I'm after, I'll need to take on another request."

"I see," the voice responded. "What exactly is this present, out of curiousity?"

Mario took a deep breath, then told him.

"Well," the voice finally spoke up again, "that is... no small task."

"I know, I'm very aware of that," Mario muttered. "Got another job for me?"

"Well, that is quite a steep price," the voice admitted, and Mario caught his breath... "but I think I have a job that should pay the bill."

"Oh, good, what is it?" Mario asked, relieved.

"It's a job going on out in the grounds," the voice explained. "Sort of like a 'Big-Brothers-Big-Sisters' kind of thing- some of the older students are taking care of some of the more unruly first years. Starting tomorrow, in the afternoon, you join up with the group doing it, get paid, and there you go."

"So, kind of like being a baby-sitter to a whole group of noobs?" Mario summed up.

"Something like that," the voice agreed. "There are three other fourth-years on the job already- two from Sierra and one from Hal. Honestly, they could probably handle it themselves, but if you'd like the extra money..."

"I'll do it," Mario agreed.

"Excellent!" the voice perked up, sounding pleased. "Alright, have the flyer, and they'll see you out on the racetrack tomorrow afternoon!"

XXXX

The rest of the day was pretty stressful for the red-clothed pyromancer. For some strange reason, he couldn't seem to focus on school as much as he probably should have been, especially with Link making repeated attempts to draw the truth out from him. The epitome of all this, however, had to be when he almost used the wrong type of ether in the power-up of the day, and had to be corrected by Link, of all people.

He hated to do it- he honestly did- but Chell called, so, when they all got down to dinner that night, he began plowing through the meal just as he had the night before. No knowing if Chell might turn up earlier that night, after all...

And right he was to take this idea into account, for when he swung open the door to the usual classroom, it was to find Chell already there and waiting, much earlier than the previous night. "Oh, hey, there, Mario," she greeted him. "I'm ready to get started..."

"Alright, whatcha got for me tonight?" he wondered out loud as he looked at the book she already had out and opened on the desk. "Light bulbs?"

"Simon wants us to work on alternate ways of lighting dark places- in case we're ever in a nasty spot, you know?"

"Sounds like something he'd say," Mario agreed. "Well, if you want the wisdom of muggles, then the best way to jury-rig a lightbulb with limited materials is to..."

XXXX

For a while, things were actually going smoothly, much more so than last night, that was for sure. Things changed when they paused for Chell to write something down, and Mario's eyes strayed to her binder, which carried several pictures in it. But what caught his eye was the moving photo in the center- a young, dark-haired girl sitting at a table bearing a cake, with only two people at her side- and they appeared to be her parents. All three wore smiles, but there was something in the girl's eyes that looked sad, as well...

"Is that you?" he wondered out loud.

Chell froze as she realized where her tutor's eyes were focused. "Yeah," she spoke slowly.

"At your birthday party?"

Chell remained silent. And continued to do so for the rest of the meeting, aside from bidding him goodnight when they finally called it. Mario eyed her as she left the classroom. That was strange...

Perhaps if he helped her with this project of hers, she'd open up about that a bit, he considered. Casting his eyes out into the grounds, he wondered offhandedly if Daisy kept any potatoes in the greenhouses...

XXXX

It was very late as Mario finally returned to the hub, juggling the three or four potatoes he snatched from the greenhouses. As he entered, he nearly jumped out of his socks as a voice spoke from nearby- "What the- what are the potatoes for?"

Mario just narrowly managed to catch said spuds before they hit the ground. Spinning around, he saw Link sitting in one of the armchairs. "What, these potatoes?" he asked evasively.

"Yes, those potatoes," Link nodded, and though he may have been imagining it, Mario thought there was some impatience in his voice.

"I'm... uh... making a lightbulb," Mario finally answered. About time he was able to tell Link the truth about something...

"Making a lightbulb?" Link repeated skeptically.

"Yeah."

"You've been staying up so late... to make a lightbulb."

"Yeah, sure, let's go with that," Mario nodded, eager for this conversation to end. "Dang, it is late right now. I'm looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow, aren't you? Come on, let's go to bed."

With that, not waiting to see if Link followed, he sprinted up to the dorm and crashed into his bunk.

XXXX

Saturday

Mario expected to sleep in 'til past noon that day, but to his surprise, it was pretty early that he woke up, staring at the dorm's ceiling. He still had several hours to go before he had anywhere to be, so he tried to return to sleep, but all efforts proved fruitless. Finally, resigning himself, he got up, dressed, and headed down to breakfast.

Most of that morning was spent quietly avoiding his friends- it being the weekend, he was sure they were eager to use the opportunity to question him more thoroughly, which he didn't want at all. Finally, at the proper time, he headed out into the grounds and sought out the Big-Brothers-Big-Sisters group the Troubles Center guy had mentioned.

The other students he was working with, as it turned out, were Lucina, Waluigi, and a Hal girl he knew by sight but couldn't put a name to. "Oh, Mario, you're the new guy?" Lucina asked, raising her eyebrows as she spied him approaching.

"Yeah, that's me," Mario nodded. "You're working with the Troubles Center, too?"

"Nah, me and Wa are working on some extra credit," Lucina brushed aside, glancing over at where the spindly purple boy was performing some wacky antics for the first years. "Funny thing is, they probably think he's putting on an act for them. Nah, he's just being himself..."

Mario smiled slightly as Wa approached a young boy with remarkably tanned skin. "When you a-groin' up, Waluigi gonna help you get married, get a nice bow-tie 'n a lovely lady wit da white dress..."

"Hold on, where's Robin?" he asked, noticing the missing member of Lucina's crew.

"He didn't feel the need to come along," Lucina shrugged. "Probably still sleeping in right now, lucky winnicot..."

XXXX

"And now, the age-old question," Robin muttered to herself, standing in the hallway. "The boy's bathroom, or the girl's?"

After another moment of hesitation, she finally stepped into the girl's, just before a loud screech sounded, and he found himself being punted right back out. Looking down, he noticed he'd switched again just as he'd stepped through the portal. "Ah... crud."

XXXX

"And just when I need her most, too," Lucina muttered. "At least she'd help deal with the witch over there..."

Mario looked up to see Lucina's eyes flicking at the girl from Hal. Her hair was blue and pulled up in two spikes on her head. She wore what seemed to be a lab coat, complete with gloves and a pair of goggles. Following his gaze, Lucina elaborated. "Aura Blackquill, and a sadder excuse for a Hal you won't find. Believe me, I've looked."

"Perhaps you would believe that," Aura spoke as she approached, apparently having overheard. "You Sierrans are imperfect, after all. Influenced by your greed and lust for power, you can't even realize the contradictions inherent in your very existence. I much prefer Hals- even that worthless Lucas Ikari is better than you."

"As you can tell," Lucina muttered, a shadow passing over her eyes, "she makes Link back before the play look like an open-heart advocate of inter-group cooperation."

"So I see," Mario agreed, raising his eyebrows at her.

"Oh, don't listen to her," Aura waved Lucina's criticism aside. "She's just annoyed at being sorted into the most inferior group in the school, being forced to associate with people like the retard over there..."

Infuriated, Lucina slammed her hands against her lap and stood up. Mario, however, reached up and pulled her back down, though he had a firm glare to throw in Aura's direction as well. "Well, Lucina and that moron happen to be friends of mine," he shot back. "You, however, are not, so if you could kindly smeg off, now..."

Aura's eyes narrowed. "Sad," she muttered. "You're Mario Mario, from Nintendo, right? One who defeated the Great Darkness, champion of Nintendo? I thought you'd have a bit more sense in you."

"And I always thought you couldn't be anymore of a b! #," Lucina put in, "but there are surprises anywhere."

Fury in her eyes, Aura finally spun on her heel and left.

XXXX

Sunday

Mario awoke later the next day than the previous, but it was still pretty early for his standards. Once more, his first reaction was to toss and turn a bit, trying to achieve that usual nightly bliss, but eventually, he conceded and got to his feet.

Last night's session with Chell had gone about as well as it could have. They'd met up at the Big-Brother-Big-Sister event (apparently, she was attending it as well,) and they'd headed back to the usual classroom together. She'd been delighted by the samples he'd managed to procure, but had still refused to speak about the photo. She'd talk about anything else, but about the photo- or much of anything about her personal life, really- she'd say nothing at all, clamming up until the subject had changed.

Finishing donning his clothes, he headed down into the dorm, across the hub, and into the hall.

As he set out towards breakfast, he thought he heard footsteps behind him. Every time he stopped walking, they'd stop a second or so later. Looking behind him, he thought he saw a flash of green darting behind the nearest wall. A suspicion crossed his mind- taking out his cell phone, he polished the screen to a mirror shine, turned, and took a few steps forward. Sure enough, in the reflection, he saw Link approaching. Well, that was just fantastic- early in the morning, and he was already working to give his best friend the slip.

XXXX

"Why not just tell him?" Lucina asked that afternoon, as they met up out on the lawn once more. Mario had just spent the past few minutes filling her in. "I mean, would it really be so bad if he found out you're working to get him a Christmas present?"

"He's very touchy about the money situation," Mario muttered. "He might get offended if he finds out I'm working to get money I technically already have, just not here..."

Lucina opened and closed her mouth for a moment before simply sighing and shaking her head. "You know what, Mario? Do whatever you want. Play it your way."

"Yeah," Mario muttered. "And you won't tell him either, will you?"

"Mario..."

"Will you?"

Lucina sighed again. "Alright, I won't tell him."

"Swear it!"

"I swear I won't tell him!" Lucina repeated, raising one hand and crossing her heart with the other. "Geez..."

Further conversation was interrupted by an abrupt uproar between two of the noobs- Juju Black and Cody Hackins. "You're out of your mind!" Cody was shouting. "The Steel Samurai is way better!"

"Than Erde Kaiser? Dream on!" Juju shot back.

"Come on, you two, break it up," Lucina sighed.

"He started it!" both noobs shouted in unison.

Mario stared as Lucina continued in her futile efforts to reconcile the two. Now that he thought about it, the noobs were acting much more immature than he'd expected- less like noobs and more like they were at daycare. There had to be some way to calm them down... some way...

"Geez, this job," Lucina muttered, leaning back on the bench as she returned to Mario. Glancing at him, she asked, "Something on your mind?"

"Yeah... just this... idea I had..."

XXXX

Monday

The next morning saw the return of the routine established the previous week- normal morning until lunch, where Mario rushed through his meal, with his mind set on someplace else. To his surprise, Link didn't say much either, finally taking a break from his usual interrogation. It was strange, but Mario had more important things to focus on...

Like tracking down the drama department, where they'd not-too-long-ago spent two weeks rehearsing that gong show of a play. Even with prior knowledge and the Bombers' Guide to the Smash Mansion at his side, it still took a little longer than he'd have liked. Finally, though, he did track it down, locating Maya Fey, who'd officially joined the club after the ordeal- though Mario couldn't reason why for the life of him.

"Hey, Mario, how ya doin'?" she asked as she saw him approaching.

"Pretty well," he shrugged. "Listen, could you do me a favor?"

"A favor? What kind of favor?"

"Well, I'm working with this bunch of noobs, see..."

XXXX

"What... in the name of peace and sanity... is that?"

Such was Lucina's reaction when Mario came stumping into the racetrack wearing a huge, clunky robot suit.

"My aforementioned idea," Mario explained quickly. "Any of the kids here yet?"

"Doesn't look like it," Lucina shrugged, gazing at the racetrack, empty except for the two of them, Waluigi camping nearby, staring at Mario in dumbstruck astonishment, and Aura Blackquill, staring at him with a mixture of contempt and amusement. "Can't wait to see what that's for... anyways, while we've still got time, I've got something to tell you."

"What's that?"

"Link cornered me after lunch today."

"He did?" Mario asked, raising his eyebrows, though Lucina couldn't see it. Frustrated, he began removing the costume, deciding he could don it when the time was right. For now, it was just too hot. "What did he want?"

"He asked me where you've been," Lucina recalled.

"And did you tell him?" Mario asked urgently.

"Keep your hat on, keep your hat on, I didn't tell him anything," Lucina appeased him. "Challenged me to a swordfight, said I should tell him if I lost..."

"And did you?"

"Heck no, he was way too distracted..."

"But what if you had?!"

"Hard telling," Lucina shrugged. "I knew I was going to win..."

"But what if you hadn't?!"

"Then I'd have come up with something, I guess!" Lucina raised her voice. "Geez, the kids aren't even here yet, and already my stress is going through the roof..."

And right on cue, the noobs began making their way down to the lawn, Chell Johnson making a lonely lead ahead of them all.

XXXX

Things got hectic right away. Lucina and Mario were doing their best to keep things under control, but Waluigi's eccentricities and Aura's general air of coldness did nothing to help. Finally, Mario, wiping his brow, turned to Lucina. "Looks like it's time to pull out the secret weapon..."

Lucina turned and watched as he rushed off and returned in the robot suit, walking in a very strange gait due to the clunky design. The noobs all stopped and stared at his approach. Speaking in what he clearly thought was a suitable voice, he called out, "Nice boys and girls don't-"

And that was as far as he got before they all dogpiled him, virtually tearing him to shreds. Aura bent double laughing, Lucina facepalmed, and Waluigi just seemed confused.

XXXX

Mario was very forlorn as he clunked across the foyer. Well, that was a wash... if he'd had it his way, he'd have ripped the suit off and turned it to ash already. Unfortunately, he had to return it to Maya, and the best way to carry the dang thing was to wear it...

He was halfway across the foyer, when a cry came out from the Dining Hall. "Wow, look, a giant robot!"

Mario cringed as he recognized the voice of Plusle Minun. And it only got better! "Wow, you're right, Plusle! Hey, everyone, come and see this!"

And without warning, the foyer was flooded with seemingly every student at the mansion. Mario mentally cursed the Minun brothers as everyone began pointing, laughing, cheering, snapping pics, and, worst of all, calling out to him...

"Come on, robot man! Do a dance!"

Oh, for the love of...

It was the last thing he wanted to do, but it seemed it was the only way he'd get upstairs in peace. He wasn't the best dancer, but he knew a few steps- or, at least, knew of them. He started off attempting a moonwalk... no, he couldn't do that in his own shoes, let alone this stupid robot costume... Gangnam Style? No, he couldn't cross his arms- not even close. Finally, nothing else left to him, he began enacting the most stereotypical dance he could think of- the robot. As he raised his arm and allowed it to begin dangling, he couldn't help thinking to himself, Man, could these dance moves be any more cliche?

XXXX

Tuesday

Much to Mario's chagrin, nobody could forget the dancing robot the next day. Thankfully, only a handful of students actually knew who was in the suit- Lucina, Aura, Wa, Maya, and Chell, who hadn't been able to stop laughing about it through their session the previous night- but that didn't stop them from endlessly talking about it. He wished they wouldn't- he was tired as-was, and didn't need reminding of his performance on top of that.

The classes that day went by in a haze- while he could go through the motions normally, he felt very disconnected from the things he was doing. It got to the point that he fell asleep in Psychic Powers, where, to his eternal gratitude, Link took pity on him and just let him sleep. Lunch was bliss, as he was actually able to stop and enjoy it for once, with nothing to rush off to. Even better, his friends were content to just let him get on with eating, only asking a couple awkward questions. He did have to come up with a new excuse for why he'd be out that night, but aside from that, best lunch all week.

XXXX

He expected no mercy from Lucina, and received none. "So, got another trump card to play today?" she asked as soon as he arrived.

"Shut up," he muttered wearily.

"What's next, the Steel Samurai?" Lucina pressed on.

"No, seriously, stop, I'm not in the mood," Mario muttered, rubbing his eyes. "Man, I'll be glad when all this is over."

"Won't we all?" Lucina muttered. "Anyone else figure it out yet?"

"No, not yet, just you three, Chell, and the girl who gave me the costume in the first place..."

"Thank the Wave Existence for small blessings, I suppose," Lucina shrugged.

"Alright, that's enough, give it back," came a voice, rising up from the kids.

"No, come on, you had much longer with it!"

"I don't care- it's my toy, give it back!"

Lucina sighed and reintroduced her hand to her face. "Knew it was a mistake to let him take that out," she muttered.

"Huh?" Mario asked, his eyebrows rising.

"Well, let's just say you inspired Cody with that stunt you pulled yesterday," she muttered.

She pointed, and Mario experienced heart failure as he witnessed Cody and Juju wrestling over a small action figure, identical in every way (except size, obviously,) to the suit he'd been wearing just the previous day. "Oh, come on,"

"Give it back!"

"No, it's still my turn!"

"Let me handle this," Mario muttered, standing.

"Oh, please, feel free, be my flipping guest," Lucina muttered.

"Come on, you two, break it up," he called out as he stepped between them. "Aren't you supposed to be in your first year at the Smash Bros.?"

"Yeah, but he won't give me back Erde Kaiser!" Cody snarled.

"Because it's still my turn!" Juju shot back.

"Keep going like this, and Erde Kaiser's gonna have some scorch marks in him," Mario muttered. "Come on, give him here..."

He reached out for it, but neither of the students was relenting, stubbornly hanging on like it was a lifeline until...

S

N

A

P.

All three looked down in horror at the pieces of the robotic action figure beneath them.

A long silence, punctuated only by Aura snorting, "When did the nut take over the nuthouse?"

XXXX

That evening was a nightmare for Mario. Cody had shouted all sorts of threats in response to the breaking of his Erde Kaiser action figure (with real disassembling-reassembling action, as he'd felt the constant need to remind him,) threatening to get his prosecutor father to sue Mario's butt. (Paraphrased.) Eventually, Mario had only been able to pacify him by promising to purchase a replacement. Heading up to the library with this goal in mind, he pulled out a select few catalogues that seemed like they'd feature such a toy, narrowing it down to one before returning forlornly to the hub.

When he arrived, it was to find Link awaiting him, as usual. Perhaps noticing his friend's distress, Link asked, "What is it? Something wrong?"

Stubbornly resigned to keeping his secrets, Mario shook his head. "No, no, nothing. You can head on up to bed, I'll be up in a few..."

Mercifully, Link obliged. Mario listened to him mount the steps before being seized by sudden inspiration. "Wait," he called out faintly.

"Yeah?" Link asked, turning.

"Have you ever heard of something called 'Erde Kaiser?'"

"Erde Kaiser?" Link repeated, confusion in his voice. Abruptly, he snapped his fingers. "Oh, yeah, that's it! I thought that robot from yesterday looked familiar! It was Erde Kaiser- he's a robot superhero! His show's directed at the younger audience, but he's got a broader appeal- I know plenty of adults who like him, too, and-"

That was about enough for Mario. "Oh, really?" he cut his friend off. "Huh. I think I might prefer the muggle superheroes, myself..."

With that, he fell silent, prompting Link to complete his journey upstairs. Mario wearily continued flipping through the catalogue. Erde Kaiser... Erde Kaiser...

Finally, he found it- a toy identical to the one broken earlier that day in every way, shape, form, direction, and velocity. Was this the answer to his problem?

... Not quite, as he realized when his eyes fell on the price. His breath caught in his throat once more. Fire built up within him, with only one way left to go...

"Curse you, Erde KAAAAAIIIIIIISER!"

XXXX

Wednesday

Mario was more tired that day than he thought he'd ever been. Waking up was sheer torture, and he was starting to find it difficult to even move. With yet another several gold coins tossed onto his already considerable debts list, there was only one place to go, and he didn't even bother eating lunch before heading there- staggering out of fourth period and making a painful climb through the floors to the Troubles Center for the third time thus far.

"Oh, hey, Mario!" spoke the pair of eyes behind the window when they saw him open the door by turning the knob and slumping against it. "Didn't expect to see you back so soon!"

"Didn't expect to be bac so soon," Mario muttered. "The thing is..." And once again, he found himself explaining the situation.

"Man, that stinks," the voice agreed as he concluded. "So you're here for another job?"

"One that can pay for the new action figure," Mario nodded. "Do you have anything?"

"You know..." the voice mused, as Mario waited with bated breath, "I think I have just the thing. Came in a few weeks ago, but no one's taken it yet..."

"Why?" Mario asked nervously.

"Oh, it's nothing difficult, don't worry," the voice reassured him. "It's just a student from Sohnee, he wants some company. Just for an hour or two, and he'll pay very handsomely. If you'll do it, I can set it up for tomorrow..."

"That is pretty easy," Mario agreed. "Why hasn't anyone else taken it? Who posted it?"

"He's the one that's always walking around half-naked- you know, in the tunic? I think people have been turning it down because they're scared of him... I don't know, what do you think, Mario?" A long pause. "Mario?"

Mario simply stood there, suddenly white as a sheet.

XXXX

The rest of the day didn't see Mario faring much better- he only had a single bite of lunch before classes recommenced. Just thank the Wave Existence they didn't have to deal with the Ultimate Chimaeras that day. On top of that, he was extremely nervous about the next day- while he'd accepted Kratos's request, he was extremely nervous about it. He wasn't deaf to school gossip- he'd heard the rumors about what he'd done. And on top of that, there was the simple aura of intimidation the young Sohnee student bore around him. He could definitely see why nobody had accepted the request before- all likelihood, the real challenge here was simply to survive the proposed hour- but he was so desperate, he'd accepted the request anyways.

He blinked as he approached the racetrack, seeing a new arrival who wasn't typically there. Standing in front of Lucina, talking down to her as she sat down on a bench, was the unmistakable profile of Sharla Black, proprietor of the Colony 6 Grill and Bar. Lucina looked up and saw him approaching, said a few more words, and pointed over at him. Sharla turned and smiled when she saw him.

"Hey, Mario," Lucina greeted him. "This is Sharla Black. I'm guessing you know her?"

"We've met," Mario nodded.

"When?" Sharla asked, looking confused, and Mario mentally cursed himself- the previous times they'd met, he'd always been under an invisibility blanket or using an alias. From her perspective, this really was the first time they'd met.

"Ah, I've been down to the Grill a few times," he explained, not entirely untruthfully.

"Ah, I see," Sharla nodded. "I get so many people in there, it's hard to remember them all... I just thought I'd remember serving you."

"Yeah, sure," Mario muttered awkwardly, rubbing his foot in the dirt. "It's alright, I just have one of those faces, you know?"

"I guess," Sharla shrugged. "Anyways, I've got something I need to talk to you about. When do you get off here?"

"A few hours, I think."

"Round about then, yeah," Lucina confirmed, glancing at her watch.

"Well, when you do, meet me in the courtyard, alright?" Sharla suggested.

"Yeah... sure... bye," Mario muttered.

Sharla smiled again and headed off. Mario closed his eyes and turned them towards Lucina before opening them. Grimacing at the smirk on her face, he preemptively muttered, "Shut up."

"Well, Mario, I didn't realize you were into older women."

"Shut up."

"Hey, no need to stick around here to pacify me. You can head off to your hot date if you want, I'll cover for you."

"Shut up."

XXXX

As things turned out, however, Mario ultimately took her up on her offer, heading out a half-hour or so early to meet up with Sharla. Lucina, using Waluigi as a distraction for Aura, promised to cover for his absence, so he quickly ran across the lawn and to the courtyard, where, sure enough, Sharla awaited.

"Oh, hello!" she greeted him when she heard his footsteps. "You're a little early!"

"We wrapped things up a little early," Mario mumbled offhandedly. "So, what's this about?"

Sharla's smile dropped, and she took on a much more serious tone. "I hear you had some trouble with Juju yesterday..."

Something clicked. Sharla Black... Juju Black... "Are you his mother?"

Sharla broke into laughter. "Oh, no, no, no... I'm his sister!"

Mario blushed furiously at this little misunderstanding. "Oh- sorry," he muttered, staring at the ground.

"It's alright, it's an easy mistake to make." Sharla's laughter slowly died down, and she abruptly became very morose. "Especially considering I am pretty much responsible for him..."

Mario sensed they were approaching a somewhat sensitive topic. "Your... your parents...?"

"Dead," Sharla muttered. "Died a few years ago."

"In the war against Tab- er, the Great Darkness?" Mario guessed, cutting himself off as he noticed Sharla about to wince at Tabuu's name.

"No, no," Sharla shook her head. "That's a much-too-common cause of death amongst smashers, I'll grant you, but not everyone has that story. No, our parents got very sick one year, and... well... never got better."

"I'm sorry," Mario somberly replied. "I can't imagine what it must have been like..."

"It changed my life, back then," Sharla recalled. "My father died first, not long after Juju was born. I was working to join up with the hunters back then- a smasher policewoman, you know? But that was the day I changed my mind- there was a greater evil than dark smashing I wanted to fight- disease. That was the day I decided to become a medic. I was a few years into my training, too, when... our mother died as well.

"It crushed Juju when it happened, and I felt even worse for not being able to save her. Between that, and Juju needing me to take care of him... I just didn't have time for medical training anymore. I left just a few months before I would have gotten my degree, came back home to Kurain to run the family's restaurant instead."

"Have you ever thought of going back?" Mario suggested.

"Oh, plenty of times," Sharla nodded. "But then I remember my parents, laying on their deathbeds... and I just can't. Besides, I can't leave Juju..." Finally, she took a deep breath. "Why am I telling you all this, though? It's nothing to do with you-"

"Oh- sorry," Mario said for the third time, feeling increasingly awkward.

"Not your fault, not your fault," Sharla waved aside. "I guess you just have this air about you- it feels like your trustworthy, like you're someone people can talk to about their problems..."

"I never really thought of myself as a people person..."

"Sure helped me get some things off my chest," Sharla smiled. "But I didn't call you over here to tell you my life story- I wanted to talk to you about Juju. According to him, you were trying to break up a fight between him and Cody when Cody's Erde Kaiser action figure broke?"

"Yeah..."

"I apologize on his behalf," Sharla said, shaking her head. "He's always been a little too hot-blooded for his own good- kind of a family trait, to be honest. He also said you promised to buy a replacement?"

"I did..."

"Well, don't bother," Sharla shook her head. "It's Juju's fault, he's my responsibility. I'll take care of it."

"Oh, no, really, you don't have to-" Mario objected.

"Mario, between the two of us, which one actually has a steady job?" Sharla cut him off, placing her hands on her hips.

"You do..."

"And which one of us has a brother that actually started the fight?"

"You do..."

"And which one of us was just trying to stop the fight, and can't be held responsible?"

"..."

"Which one of us bears no responsibility?"

"...I don't."

"Correct. I'll take care of replacing the toy. Just throw that worry off your pile- I'm sure you have enough to be dealing with without cleaning up after my brother, too."

Mario sighed, but didn't object any further. "Thanks," he finally spoke.

"No, thank you," Sharla smiled at him. "You're a good boy, Mario Mario. I'm sure you'll grow up to be a good man, too. And, if that day should come... or, if you ever just feel the need to talk..."

She reached into a pocket, pulled out a piece of paper and a pen, and scribbled something down. "Keep this with you, will you?" she asked, handing it over. "See you around." With that, she stood and walked off. Mario, nonplussed, opened up the paper to find a 10-digit number scribbled there. Looking between Sharla's retreating back and the memo, it slowly dawned on him what it was. "Oh. Ohhhhhhhhhhh. Oh."

XXXX

Thursday

Mario was conflicted that day. On the one hand, with Sharla's contribution to the 'Make-Mario's-life-a-little-easier' fund, there wasn't any real need to fill Kratos's request today. And yet, at the same time, he'd feel like a colossal winnicot if he just cancelled on him without warning- no matter how frightening he was. Or, if he was looking at it from the more cowardly position, he was running the risk of Kratos ripping out his spinal cord if he stood him up...

In the morning, as they were eating breakfast, he received a surprise letter from an unknown albatross, instructing him to report to the courtyard at lunchtime, which he did, heading down there first thing after third period.

Standing there, once more, was Sharla Black. "Just a quick conversation today," she spoke quickly. "I'm sure you want to get back to your lunch- here."

She reached out and handed him an Erde Kaiser action figure, just like the one that had broken so recently.

"Why are you giving me this?"

"Juju left without it earlier- I want you to pass it on to him later today and have him give it to Cody. It was his responsibility, he should be the one to patch things up."

"Alright," Mario agreed. He might have argued the point a bit otherwise, but his stomach was rumbling, and he simply didn't want to rush his lunch again that day. He took the toy, placed it gingerly in his pack, and rushed off to lunch, where he couldn't help but feel as though he was receiving more hostility from Link, Zelda, and Luigi, all of whom were sitting alongside him, than was the norm. Strange, but he had no time to be concerned- if he was going to get in some food before the next class, he had to be quick about it.

XXXX

"So, Juju, what do we say?"

"Sorry, Cody..."

"Sorry for what?"

"Sorry I broke your Erde Kaiser figure."

With that, Juju meekly held out the replacement toy, which Cody, taken aback, gingerly took. Examining it closer, he slowly broke into a smile. "Alright, awesome!" he cheered. Taking a course of action no one had suspected, he leapt forward and embraced Juju like a brother. "Thank you so much! I can't sleep properly with that blank spot on my wall!"

Mario smiled slightly as he went over to sit next to Lucina. "So, fixing a few problems lately, are we?" Lucina smiled as he sat down.

"A bit here, a bit there," Mario nodded. "Waluigi seems happy."

Lucina laughed as she saw her purple-clad friend bursting in on Juju and Cody's game of 'Erde Kaiser vs. Steel Samurai,' attempting to play the role of the Steel Samurai's wretched rival, the Evil Magistrate. "He always did have a way with younger generations," she agreed.

"It could just make me vomit," interjected a less welcome voice, prompting Lucina to sigh and facepalm once more.

"Go home, Blackquill, just go home."

Things were much more peaceful that day than they had been before, most of the noobs following Cody and Juju's example. Mario was just noticing Chell standing apart from everyone else when a loud voice shouted out across the grounds. "MariiiiiiiOOOOOOOO!"

"What the-" Lucina wondered out loud as everyone turned to see a man with bleach-white skin approaching, dressed only in a tunic and with a red lightning bolt tattoo over one eye.

"Ten minutes, Mario, you are TEN MINUTES late to fulfilling my request!"

"Look, calm down, tiny, some people's world's don't revolve around you," Aura snarked, only to shrink in size as the boy turned his glare on her.

"THE F& # DID YOU JUST SAY?!"

Aura gulped. "Nothing... nothing!"

"Sorry, I was taking care of things over here-"

"Well, now you can take care of things over by Lake Delfino!" Kratos roared. "Come! NOW!"

Desperately, Mario turned to Lucina, but even she seemed intimidated. "I'll cover for you again," she shrugged, a nervous eye on the white-skinned Sohnee.

"Thanks, Lucina, thanks a whole bunch," Mario muttered, resignedly following Kratos as he stormed off across the lawn.

He didn't dare speak- the heat rolling off the Ghost of Sohnee was almost enough to incinerate him. Finally, they stopped at the shores of Lake Delfino, where Kratos stood, crossing his arms and glaring at the water as though hoping to evaporate it all. Mario, after waiting for a few minutes, tentatively lowered himself to the ground, assuming a sitting position. When Kratos didn't object, he continued to just sit there, glancing from the angry, tattooed, goateed face to the mirror-like surface of the lake and back again. He didn't dare let the silence be broken under any terms except Kratos's.

Finally, the boy spoke. "Beautiful."

"Beautiful?" Mario repeated, confused.

"The lake," Kratos elaborated. "Some people think I can't appreciate true beauty... but believe me, I can."

"I'm sorry about being late," Mario spoke.

"No, no, it's fine... it's all fine," Kratos muttered. "I've been told I have some... anger management issues."

"I think you might," Mario agreed.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?!" Kratos raged, spinning on him, only to raise a hand to his face, rubbing it and forcing himself to calm. "Sorry, sorry... this is... it's just the way I've always been..."

Turning his gaze back to the lake, Kratos muttered, "Alone..."

"Alone?" Mario asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Alone... nobody ever wants to get close to me, because of... well, you know... nobody ever dared to draw near... except for... her..."

Mario sensed this was gradually going somewhere, and patiently waited for Kratos to get there.

"Lysandra," Kratos spoke. "Lysandra- yes, that was her name. The first person to ever get close to me.

"She was a plain-looking girl, I'll admit it- plain-looking enough that no one else would pay her the time of day. But it's the people with the least outward beauty that can see the beauty that lies within..."

Mario was surprised- he hadn't expected to hear such musings from the infamous boat of rage. And yet, something was nagging at the corners of his mind...

"She saw something in me that nobody else ever had... even myself. And even though everyone else called her ugly, to me, she was the most beautiful creature ever to walk the earth. The years I spent with her were the best five years of my life..."

Abruptly, a scowl formed on his face. "If only I'd known, back then... what they were doing to her..."

This was the last thing Mario had expected to hear. "Come again?"

"It can't have been easy for her," Kratos recalled, his scowl growing deeper and deeper. "Having to deal with a boyfriend who exploded at every slight...perhaps that's why she never told me...

"Every day, they tortured her. Every day, that band of students would gang up on her, anywhere they could- in the halls, in the classes when the teachers weren't looking, in the bathrooms... they would surround her and torment her. She never said a word to me. I have to wonder- was she afraid of how I'd react? To her? Or was she trying to protect them? Maybe it was them- even in her note..."

Mario thought he was starting to see where Kratos's story was going, and found his eyes suddenly drawn to the endless blue void of Lake Delfino. No good- he could still see terrible images in his mind's eye as Kratos's narrative carried on. "One day, it got too much for her. She couldn't carry on any longer... and she... she..."

Kratos was almost bent over double at this point, his body trembling with sobs. Mario stood, looking at him. He knew what had happened- he didn't need Kratos to finish that sentence, even if he could. But... he wasn't sure what to do in this situation- one of the most infamously mean students currently on campus was sobbing next to him, and he had no idea what to do about it. Eventually, feeling like a total idiot, he reached out and patted Kratos on his bare back. To his surprise, Kratos didn't object, continuing to sob for several minutes before finally pulling himself together.

He straightened up, Mario removed his hand, and neither of them mentioned it again. Eventually, he continued. "She left a note, telling me about it. But she didn't tell me who they were- perhaps she was afraid I'd try to avenge her. And I would," he added, his scowl forming int a full grimace. "If I knew the names of those bastards, I'd hunt them down one by one. But she wouldn't have wanted that- she didn't want that, that's why she never said..."

It was the last thing Mario wanted to bring up, but he really didn't have any other choice. "And... the rumors?"

"Rumors?"

"The rumors going around that you... well, you know..."

Kratos's brow furrowed, anger filling his expression. "Oh. Those. Well, you can imagine how it looked to everyone else- meek little girl starts going out with that scary-looking guy with knives chained to his arms, turns up later with slit wrists- of course I was the one who did it, right? Nobody wanted to hear anything else, nobody wanted to hear my handwriting didn't match up with her note, nobody wanted to hear that she was the single most important person in the world to me... I had to be the one who'd killed her."

Slowly, he reached out a fist, and for a moment, Mario thought he was about to be punched, until he opened the fist to reveal a small bracelet made of beads and cloth. "This was hers," he explained. "I made it for her a few months after we met, and she never took it off. It was on her, right until... the very... end..."

Tears were forming in his eyes again, but Kratos forced them back. "Thank you for listening to me. I... I needed someone to tell all this to. You're... you're a good person. Now, I feel strong enough... strong enough to do this."

With that, to Mario's surprise, he wound up his arm and threw the bracelet as far as he could into the lake.

"What- why? Why did you do that?" Mario asked, well and truly taken aback.

"I don't need it anymore," Kratos said, though his face seemed to disagree with that statement- it was still fixed on the bracelet, floating gently on the water. "Memories of her will only bind me... force me to keep going as the scary boy who killed his girlfriend. This is the day I turn my back on the past... and begin building my own future. Not as the Ghost of Sohnee, but simply as Kratos."

Turning to Mario, he produced a pouch. "Your pay," he said.

Mario blinked. "What? No, no, I couldn't-"

"I want you to take it," Kratos insisted. "You helped me get all this off my chest- you gave me the strength to turn my back on the past! Take it."

"I can't!"

"TAKE THE D #% MONEY ALREADY!" Kratos bellowed, and Mario jumped, quickly reaching out and accepting his payment. Kratos sighed, muttering another quick apology, before turning and heading off back across the lawn, up to the mansion.

Mario looked down at the money in his hand. A nice thing, to have some extra money from all this, but he wished he could do something to help the boy...

Abruptly, his train of thought was interrupted as a loud splash echoed across the lake. Looking, he saw a gigantic tentacle- the tentacle of the legendary Bloop- breaching the surface and winding higher and higher into the air. Eventually, it splashed back down into the lake- right on top of the cloth-and-beads bracelet Kratos had so recently tossed in. As Mario watched in sheer befuddlement, it sank back to the depths, dragging the bracelet with it. Only once sentence made sense in this situation...

"What the..."

XXXX

"Are you alright, Mario? You seem a little... distracted."

Mario looked up at Chell, sitting across from him once more. "What makes you say that?"

"Well, you just told me the best way to handle floows is to turn into an ice-skating albatross and sing 'I'm Too Sexy.'"

"Did I?" Mario asked. "Well, that's one of the lesser-known strategies..."

"We were talking about portal guns," Chell elaborated.

Mario's face turned red. "Um..."

"Should we call things early tonight?" Chell suggested.

"No, no, I'm fine, let's keep going..."

As they recommenced their studying, Mario found his eyes drawn, once more, to the photo set into Chell's binder. Her and her parents, celebrating a lonely birthday... abruptly, his eyes were drawn to a calendar in the background, marking off all the days to the big one. Well, that was a coincidence...

"What are you looking at?" Chell asked, looking up at him.

"Oh, nothing," Mario said unconvincingly, looking away. Chell eyed him suspiciously for a moment, then turned back to her book.

"If you say so..."

Mario thought for a moment, then cleared his throat. "Chell..."

"Yeah?"

"Do you... have many friends?"

Chell froze. "I... I don't see how that's any of your business..."

"I guess it's technically not, but... loneliness doesn't make the best students out of us..."

Chell looked very uncomfortable as she abruptly stood. "Good night, Mario," she muttered, tossing a gold coin onto the desk and rushing out. Mario stared after her.

"Nice job there, Mario, very good job," he muttered. Taking the coin, he headed out into the hallway.

This had all started as a campaign to buy Link a great Christmas present, he thought, but it seemed to have become so much more since then. What was it Zelda had called it? Main-character-syndrome? The need to solve every problem he solved? Well, either way, he certainly felt he couldn't leave Kratos and Chell as miserable as they were... but what could he do about it?

His steps took him to the library, where he picked out a catalogue and began flipping through it. Yeah, yeah, throw money at the problem to solve it, but he couldn't think of anything else.

Abruptly, he came across one ad in particular... well, that was certainly interesting... ship anything to you within four hours of you sending your order, or your money back... and the items they had to sell... veeeeeery interesting...

Determined not to get ahead of himself, he checked the price- and smiled. Just enough for Kratos's money to pay for it. It would be close, but he just thought he could make it.

The smile disappeared from his face when he heard a wheezing voice out of the darkness. "Flouting our curfew again, Mario?"

Mario winced as he looked up to see Mido's face glaring down at him. Screw his chronic hero syndrome...

XXXX

Friday

The next day, Mario was awoken by Link just in time to make it to first period- rushing through the halls with toast between his teeth. He found himself energized somewhat by the realization that this whole ordeal was almost over- the next day was the big Kurain festival. By tomorrow night, everything would be over- one way or the other.

Between first and second period, he briefly abandoned his friends to rush off to the aviary, sending his orders to Nakamura Shipping down in Kurain, hoping they were actually as fast as they boasted. The rest of the morning was among the most normal he'd had so far, even unto lunchtime, when he and his comrades took their seats in the Dining Hall to eat a nice, normal meal.

...Until a swooshing echoed around the hall, hailing Parakarry's appearance with a large package. Mario couldn't help smiling as he looked up at his approaching bird. "Ah, sweet! Dang, those guys do move fast! Here you go, buddy..."

As he spoke, he gave his beloved albatross a commemorative albatross treat for his trouble, which swiftly disappeared down the bird's gullet. Do birds have gullets? Whatever, moving on.

"So, what's in the package?" Zelda asked, staring as Parakarry lifted off once more.

"Oh, just some... stuff," Mario shrugged, too tired to think of a good lie. "Come on, let's eat- last break before power-ups, after all..."

XXXX

The rest of the day passed in more-or-less normal fashion, from Link being forced to take water ether crystals home as punishment for failing in power-ups all the way to Lucina's laughter upon being told of this incident. His next session with Chell passed with a noticeable chill between them- she didn't seem to have forgotten his nosiness from last night. But still, she'd turned up, and that was a win in his book- especially considering it was their last.

Finally, he returned to the hub, where, as usual, Link awaited him. Link seemed to be somewhat distracted- rather than bombarding him with his usual 'where-have-you-been' questions, he simply asked, "Hey, Mario, help a friend out here, what's the type of ether crystal best suited to Earthcloak gems?"

"...Earth crystals?" Mario suggested, not even pausing as he mounted the stairs to the dorm.

"Right..." he heard Link mutter embarrassedly before he entered their dorm.

Once inside, he immediately went to the package he'd left on his bed and tore it open. To his satisfaction, all four items were present and accounted for- a fishing hat, a fishing vest, a fishing pole, and a mystery fourth item.

"Let's hope this line is as indestructible as they were saying," he muttered, donning the hat and vest, as well as gripping the pole tightly, intent on raising it from perdition. With that, he headed down the stairs- and right into Link's inevitable stare.

"...Where you goin'?" Link asked in a tentative tone suggesting he wasn't sure if he actually wanted to know.

"Out," Mario replied simply. "Don't-"

Before he could even finish the sentence, Link sighed. "Wait up for you, yeah, I know."

Mario shrugged, and made his way out, across the lawn, and to Lake Delfino.

XXXX

The water hadn't frozen over, thank the Wave Existence, but that still meant there was quite a bit of waiting involved- camping out on the shore, staring at the relentlessly smooth water, desperately waiting for the Bloop to bite. The number of times he wrenched on the pole, only to be presented with a flipping Cheep-Cheep...

Finally, he felt a strong tug on the pole, and began fighting with all his strength to pull whatever it was straight out of the water. "Come on, come on, come on!" he muttered.

The lake was turning into a seething, frothing cauldron of boiling water as the Bloop struggled against his line- though, true to the sales pitch, it had yet to break. The problem was, the Bloop clearly had no intention of breaking, either. After a particularly hard tug, Mario grumbled, "So you wanna play hardball, huh? Well, I can play that game, too..."

And with that, he focused on summoning the happiest thought he could think of- the look on Link's face when he saw the Christmas present Mario had gone to so much trouble to secure him. Fire burst off of him, rolling in waves and bringing the water to a quite literal boil. A column of burning plasma burst into the air- surely visible as far away as the Nintendo dorms- and he was certain that the Bloop would not be satisfied in the water. Indeed, it finally gave way, allowing him to drag it to the surface, where a quick look-over revealed the bracelet hooked around one of its tentacles. "I'll take that, thank you very much," Mario smirked, plucking it off. "Now you can go back."

He pushed and shoved and eventually the Bloop sank back into the lake. He watched apprehensively for a moment, only to sigh in relief when the tentacles began moving, propelling the squid-like creature as far away from that area as it could possibly go.

As Mario climbed back towards the hub, he reflected on the past week. It had been rough, but if he was right, it was all about to end for the best... tomorrow night.

XXXX

Saturday

It was, at long last, the day of Kurain's Christmas festival. For most of the day, Mario was very content to hang out with Link and Zelda, laughing and joking around like good old times.

Finally, they arrived at the village itself. It was a picture-perfect Christmas town, all the snow-covered houses, the lights, people singing carols... if this didn't scream Christmas, nothing did. It actually made Mario very reluctant to do what he had to do when he bid his friends a quick farewell and set off into the village, looking for a white top and orange pants.

He had quite a walk ahead of him, past two guys dressed in red and blue battling pokemon- a Vaporeon and a Zubat, by the looks of things- and a girl chasing a scarf being blown away by the wind. His constitutional was only interrupted when he heard a cry of "STOP! THIEF!"

Spinning around, Mario saw her- Chell was sprinting across open ground with a strange man chasing her- dressed entirely in purple, and, even when clearly in distress, a strange sort of smile etched across his face. Quickly, he leapt out in front of them. "Chell! What are you doing?!"

Both Chell and the man in purple turned to him- Chell's face in tears. "They all left me! They all left me alone! So I'm taking the fireworks!"

"So, if you can't be happy, no one can?" Mario asked, steadily approaching. "Is that the kind of person you want to be?"

The purple man, mercifully, remained silent, watching the exchange interestedly. Mario reached into his pocket and pulled something out. "Here- I have a present for you."

"A Christmas present?" Chell asked- for some reason, the idea seemed to depress her.

"No- a birthday present." Chell looked up at him, shocked. "It... is your birthday, isn't it?" Mario asked tentatively.

"Yeah... but... how did you know?"

"The picture," Mario explained. "It had a calendar in the back, marking off the days... not to Christmas, but... to your birthday."

Chell looked taken aback. Steadily, she lowered the pack to the ground so she could open up the package, revealing a DVD case of sorts, blue, with a cover depicting all sorts of smashers charging out from behind a logo proudly announcing: Super Smash Bros. For Wii U!

"What- why?" she asked, looking up at him.

"Because it's the kind of game that's more fun to play with other people," Mario smiled gently. "I bet Juju and Cody would be all over it."

"But those two are idiots!" Chell objected. "Didn't you see them fighting over that toy?"

"Well, I'm sorry, Chell, but if you're waiting for friends who aren't idiots, you'll be looking for a long time," Mario smirked. "But here's a fun little secret- sometimes idiots are the most fun people to be around. Why not give 'em a shot before you write them off?"

Slowly, Chell looked down at the game, the corner of her mouth twitching, almost into a smile. Finally, she turned to the man in purple. "I- I'm sorry," she stuttered. "Sorry I... I took your fireworks."

"Not at all, my child, not at all," the man grinned, looking overjoyed as he lifted the pack back onto his... back. "Perhaps we've learned a valuable lesson from this, hm?"

"Maybe," Chell muttered, looking at the ground. "Mario... thanks."

With that, she turned and dashed back off into the crowd. Mario looked at the man. "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?"

"I do find your face familiar," the man agreed. "The Happy Mask Salesman, at your service."

Which brought up many memories Mario would be just fine not having. "Ah. Yeah. Now I remember. So, fireworks?" he added, eager to change the subject.

"Ah, yes, custom made back home in Lavender Lane," the Salesman grinned. "Brought them over for the party! Nobody really celebrates anything back in Lavender Lane, you see..."

"Well, here's hoping the display goes well," Mario smiled.

"Indeed," the Salesman agreed. "But, in the meantime, I think I'll retreat to get some peace and quiet- and finish off my dinner!" He grinned as he produced a bag of Burger King chicken fries. "My favorite," he smiled.

"I don't blame you," Mario smiled, before they both turned and went their separate ways.

XXXX

Mario had to search around the village for much longer afterwards before finally locating his next target- strange, considering he stuck out like a sore thumb. "Kratos! Hey, Kratos!"

"Hm?" the large white boy grunted, turning. "Oh, Mario- what do you want?"

"Early Christmas present," Mario smiled slightly, lifting a fist and opening it to reveal a small, blue bracelet made of cloth and beads.

Kratos's mouth fell open in a perfect O. "What- how..."

"You can say you don't need it all you want," Mario said, "but I saw your face when you threw it in- you regretted it immediately. You looked like you'd give anything to have it back, so... here it is."

Kratos reached out with a trembling hand, allowing Mario to slip it onto his wrist. Mario looked up at him, dropping the smile. "Look, Kratos... I think you're looking at this the wrong way. You don't want to forget her- no, the opposite! Remember her, the warmth you felt whenever you were with her, so that you remember to always live you life the way she'd have wanted you to."

Kratos looked very taken aback, receiving such a lecture from what, in his eyes, must look like just a scrawny underclassman. "But... it hurts... so much..."

"Don't forget the pain, either," Mario shook his head, deadly serious. "Hold onto it. Embrace it. And with it... tell yourself that nobody else will have to feel that way... because you're going to do everything you can to stop anything like it from happening again."

Kratos stared at the bracelet on his wrist, and Mario could see the emotion building up in him. Tears began to leak from his eyes and stream down his face, before he leaned his head back and cried out to the sky: "LYSAAAAAAANDRAAAAAAAAA!"

Mario, unable to help himself, stepped forward and gave him a man-hug. "It's alright, big guy... let it all out."

And, to his surprise, this time around, Kratos returned the hug, squeezing him like the world would fall apart if he ever let go.

XXXX

Eventually, the two realized they were making somewhat of a scene, and quickly stepped apart, trying to alleviate the awkwardness. "So..." Mario muttered.

"Yeah..." Kratos mumbled, his eyes red but his voice steadying.

"I've got a couple of friends I could introduce you to, if you want," Mario suggested, unable to think of anything else to say.

"Yeah, sure, sounds good," Kratos agreed, seemingly just to break the awkward silence.

The two began pushing their way through the crowds until Mario heard a voice hailing him down. "Mario! Hey, Mario!"

"Lucina!" he smiled, heading towards the blue-haired swordswoman, standing alongside Waluigi, and this time, with Robin present as well. "Should have known you wouldn't miss this party for anything!"

"Yeah, yeah... can we assume you're done with watching over the noobs, then?" Lucina asked.

"Sorry, sis," Mario shrugged. "It was just a one-week gig."

"Some people have all the luck," Lucina muttered. "I'm still in it for another month for my extra credit."

"By the way," Mario spoke, a sudden thought occurring to him, "could you keep a special eye on Chell while you're at it?"

"Chell? The girl with the orange pants?"

"Yeah, her. I think I may have gotten her some friends, but it would definitely comfort me to know whether they hit it off or not."

Lucina was on the verge of speaking again when another, much less welcome voice interrupted. "If you're asking someone to keep an eye on friendship, I don't understand why you're appealing to the most friendship-challenged group in the Smash Mansion."

Lucina groaned. "Freaking Blackquill!"

Sure enough, Aura was back, a condescending smirk on her face. "You must be almost as stupid as the boy in purple over there," she continued from her earlier statement, looking at Mario.

Mario could feel a steady rage beginning to build inside him, but Lucina beat him to it. "Look, Aura, nobody wants you here right now, okay? Why not just head over to the other side of the village- it's a big place, I'm sure you don't have to be here right now."

"Why not? It's a free country, I can stand right here if I want to. If I want to come over and chat with the band of losers and retards, that is my prerogative."

Lucina's eyes lit up, but this time, it was Waluigi, of all people, who intervened. "You will-a not be a-disrespectin' Waluigi's friends!"

"I'd hardly call them your friends," Aura smirked. "More like they take pity on you and hang out with you every now and again based on that."

Waluigi seemed to be swelling with anger. "Waluigi Buu no like you!"

"And now you're throwing out old, overused show references," she smirked. "You lack any creativity whatsoever."

What happened next happened incredibly quickly, over a matter of only a few seconds- Lucina, enraged, stepped forward, hand going for her sword. Aura, seeing it, smirked, and reached for what appeared to be a gun in her belt. Waluigi saw Lucina in danger and moved to grab Aura's hand before she could reach it. Suddenly looking furious, Aura shouted, "Don't touch me, you filthy Sierran!" She grabbed his wrist and forcibly shoved him to the ground, where his head landed, with a sickening *Crunch!* on the corner of the sidewalk.

Everyone fell silent. Mario, Lucina, Robin, Aura, and Kratos all stared down at where a pool of blood was gathering around Waluigi's head. Aura, attempting to regain her composure, arrogantly announced, "You all saw it! He slipped after he tried to assault me!"

Mario heard the sound of thunder, and turned to see Kratos, bending over, heaving and puffing in sheer fury. "You... you evil, foul, loathsome wret ch!" he bellowed.

Aura, seeing her BS wasn't going to fly this time, turned and sprinted off. Kratos, not waiting for anyone to encourage or dissuade him, tore after her, leaving Mario, Robin, and Lucina to stand, horrified, around Waluigi's form on the ground. "Waluigi... not... feel... good," Waluigi muttered.

"It's gonna be alright, Wa! Don't worry, it's gonna be alright!" Robin cried as she bent down over him.

"Are you kidding? Look at that- of course it's not going to be-"

"I know, but can we at least try for some sympathy?!" Robin cried, tears streaming down his face as he cradled Waluigi in his arms.

Mario stood there, panicking for a moment, before a thought occurred to him. "Hold on a second!" he realized. "I have an app for this!"

"What?!" Lucina asked, turning on him. "Mario, this is not the time-"

"Hold up!" Mario silenced her, dialing a number on his cell phone as fast as he could.

XXXX

Sharla was in the middle of cleaning a glass over her sink when she heard her phone ring. Picking it up, she swiped a finger across the screen and lifted to her ear. "Hello, this is Sharla Black speaking."

"Sharla! Get over here! We've got an injured student!"

Sharla reeled back, fumbling with her phone for a few seconds before getting a grip on it and holding it up to her ear. "Mario? What's going on? Say it again- slowly."

"We have a student who's been badly hurt- his head's split open on the curb! We need you over here now!"

Sharla suddenly felt paralyzed- she wasn't prepared for this. "Mario, I know I told you I did some medical training, but-"

"Listen up! You can feel sorry for yourself on your own time! Right now, this could be a matter of life and death, so GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!"

"R-right," Sharla agreed, putting down the glass and heading around the counter.

"Now, what do we need to do to keep him going until you can get here?"

"Well, the most immediate threat is blood loss," Sharla thought quickly. "You need to bind the wound. Any sort of long cloth should do the trick..."

Mario quickly leapt to his feet, looking frantically around the crowd. "Long cloth... long cloth..."

Suddenly, he spied a student walking by- he recognized her as Kay Faraday, though he hadn't spoken with her much. And around her neck was... a long, purple scarf. "Kay!" he cried out, rushing towards her. "KAY!"

"Huh?" Turning around, she saw Mario approaching her. "Something going-"

"I need to borrow your scarf! No time to explain!"

"Hey, I just got this back!" Kay objected as Mario wrenched the scarf from her neck and took off back towards Waluigi. "Wait!"

She pursued Mario... only to pale when she saw Waluigi, seemingly getting worse and worse by the second. "Second thought... yeah, you can borrow my scarf for a bit."

Mario could have kissed her, but he didn't have the time. Looking up, he saw Sharla shuffling through a rapidly-growing crowd, calling out that she was a medic. On her back was slung her rifle. She, too, paled when she saw the state the young man was in. "Oh... oh, that's not good..."

"What do we need to heal him?!" Mario asked forcefully.

"Um... ether crystals!" Sharla struggled to think straight. "We need some water ether crystals, I could load them into my gun, make a healing cloud that would take care of the worst of the damage..."

"Well, that's just great!" Mario muttered. "Where the heck are we gonna get water-"

"Water ether crystals?" came a voice nearby, and Mario spun to see Red and Blue approaching, a sack in their hands. "You say this guy needs some water ether?"

"Don't tell me-" Sharla began, taking the bag and emptying into her hand, revealing several units of pure, crystallized water ether. "How-where did you get this?"

"This guy in green gave it to us just a few minutes ago!" Red recalled. "Seemed eager to get rid of it, to be honest..."

Sharla, however, didn't wait to hear the explanation- she was already loading the crystals into her rifle, aiming it up at the sky, and firing off a single shot. A blue cloud appeared above them, floating gently to the ground, and absorbing into Waluigi. For a long, tense moment, everyone stared, watching, waiting...

Finally, Waluigi's eyes blinked open. "Wa-Waluigi feeling... better?" he asked. Moving gingerly, he forced himself to his feet, feeling at the scarf. "Ah! Waluigi still be hurtin'... but Waluigi back in tha game!" he cheered.

His cheer was met with several more cheers in the crowd. "He's good!" was the general rallying cry.

"Let me through, let me through!" came a loud, gruff-sounding voice, and Mario turned to see Kratos forcing his way back through the crowd. "What happened?"

"He's okay," Mario sighed in relief. "He's going to be fine."

"Where's Aura?" Lucina asked, a shadow passing over her face as she looked at Kratos.

"Oh, don't worry about her," Kratos muttered, scowling. "She won't be bothering anyone for a long time."

Ominous, but Mario had his own things to think about. Somehow, this all seemed too... convenient. Waluigi got hurt, and immediately on hand was a medic, a cloth to bind the wound, and some water ether to heal it? What were the odds? It was like somebody had made sure things happened this way... like someone knew what was going to happen, and planned accordingly... and the one person who could have done that...

His train of thought was broken as Lucina tackled him in a bear hug. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she cried. "I don't know what I'd do without this big lug..."

"Thank you so much," Robin agreed. "If it weren't for you, we'd be down a party member- and that's a position you never want to be in."

"I have to thank you, too," Kratos put in. "If it weren't for you, Lysandra would be looking down on a sad, broken shell of a man right now. But from now on, I'm going to take your advice- less feeling sorry for myself, more making sure nobody else has to feel that pain."

"Speaking of pain," Sharla put in, "I think I owe you a thanks, too. This whole thing... it reminded me why I got into medicine to begin with. Saving people, healing them... it meant so much to me. I think I'll go back to school, now- earn that degree in medicine. If I'm lucky, I could be working in a hospital this time in two or three years!"

Mario was glad to be recognized, of course, but even through all the praise, he had eyes for only two people, on the opposite side of the crowd- two people who had just noticed him. A blond girl in a blue dress, and an equally-blond swordsman, decked in green...

"Thanks, guys," he addressed them all, "but I've got a friend to meet up with. I've kind of been neglecting him, I think it's time I fix that..."

And so it came to be that they all bid him a very fond farewell as he made his way through the crowd towards his greatest friends in the world. The most genuine smile he thought he'd ever felt gracing his face, he asked, "Hey, Link! You ready to watch those fireworks go off? Sounds like it's going to be spectacular!"

Link looked taken aback at first, but slowly, an equal smile crossed his face. "Yeah, let's see them!"

Abruptly, a whistling sound filled the air, followed not long after by a colossal *BANG!* Above their heads, the air was filled with sparks of yellows, reds, blues, violets, greens, oranges...

It had been a hard week, Mario reflected, but at the end of it all, it had been worth it. Glancing over at the smiles on everyone's faces, from Lucina and her crew to Sharla and Kratos to those of his best friends... oh, yes. It had been worth it indeed.

XXXX

The students of the Smash Mansion were still talking fervently to one another as they made their way back up the hill to the mansion. Mario was overjoyed to be alongside Link and Zelda once more, talking and laughing as animatedly as ever. Finally, they arrived in the hub and assumed their usual chairs by the fire. As the usual hustle and bustle surrounded them, Link and Zelda exchanged a meaningful glance, and finally turned on Mario.

"Uh-oh," Mario smiled. "I know those looks- what are you guys gonna ask me?"

"Well, we think it's about time you told us what's been going on this past week," Link said, his arms crossed. "And no feeding us BS about 'oh, I was in the library.' Crud has been going on behind the scenes, and you're going to tell us."

Mario glanced from Link's face to Zelda's, which showed that she agreed with everything Link had just said, and sighed. "You guys aren't going to give me any choice, are you?"

"Nope!" they answered in unison.

"You know what? Alright then," Mario sighed. "You win. I'll tell you everything. But buckle up- seriously, make yourself comfortable. It's a loooooooong story..."

XXXX

Sunday

"So you finally told them what was going on?"

"Sure did."

"And how did they take it?"

"Pretty well, actually. I mean, they were confused, I think, as to why I felt the need to keep it a secret... Link said he wished I just told him from the start- he was imagining much worse things."

"Perhaps honesty really is the best policy."

"Well, if that's the case, why not put your money where your mouth is?"

"Hm?"

Mario turned to the young man on the bench beside him, crossing his arms. "Don't you dare play innocent with me- you've been behind this all from the beginning!"

"Me?" Shulk Clairvoya asked, blinking his eyes in an 'I'm-innocent' kind of way, a halo appearing over his head. "That's ridiculous. How could I?"

The first thing in the morning, Mario had charged up to the Troubles Center and demanded that the blue eyes remove themselves from behind the wall and take a walk with him. They had objected at first, until he correctly identified them as the blond youth in red currently sitting at his side. "You see the future," Mario recalled. "You knew all this was going to happen, ever since the play, at least. You gave me that note to come when I needed to. You knew all these terrible things would happen, but instead of trying to stop it, you twisted things around, manipulating them all towards the best outcome for everyone... you magnificent bastard."

"Well, now, who can say?" Shulk shrugged. "I suppose that's certainly a possibility, but..."

"But nothing," Mario shook his head. "That's what happened, and nothing you say is going to convince me otherwise."

"Are you complaining?" Shulk raised an eyebrow.

"Not at all," Mario smiled. "At the end of it all... well, like I said, it works out best for everyone. Waluigi's alive, Lucina's going to get her extra credit, Kratos can move on from Lysandra's death, Sharla's going back to following her dreams, that psycho Aura's been expelled, and I've got Link's Christmas present all ordered and ready to go!"

"Yes, indeed, quite a wonderful gift," Shulk agreed.

"You're telling me," Mario smiled. "A bigger-on-the-inside camping apparatus complete with dance floor and spinning mirror ball- a bona fide disco-tent."

XXXX

AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! At long last, this is complete! And just in time for the New Year!... he says three days late.

I am so sorry for the hiatus, guys. The original intent was to get it up in early December, then all the aforementioned things happened, on top of several other things... Then I wanted to get it up by Christmas, but then Gandora came back for the holidays (and gave me the best Christmas present ever by telling me he'll be moving back for good in April- WOO-HOO!) and then I started playing several games with my beloved sister, Blue Phoenix, started seeing a psychologist, recommenced my job hunt, set some things up with my godmother... it's been insane over here. My dearest wish is that this absurdly long chapter (43 pages and a whole year in the making) makes up for it- indeed, it has two achievements assigned to it at once! It is both the longest chapter I've ever written for anything, ever, and is the chapter that pushes us over the mark- this is now officially the longest Mario Mario story yet! And we still haven't gotten to the second trial... which I aim to fix! My biggest New Years resolution is to fix my absolutely broken update schedule (though the sad thing is, this still isn't as bad as the Dungeon of Secrets era... shudder...) so, if all goes well, you should see a new chapter up by the end of the week! Not tonight, though... I need to take a nap. I've been setting this whole thing up for so long, it's extremely exciting and cathartic to see it finally going up, but I hope you guys don't blame me for putting random quickies on the shelf for a while. The next several chapters should be main ones, just to give me a break after this huge thing. But to let me know if it was worth it, as ever, please R&R, constructive criticism embraced, flames, not so much, Gamer4 out!