A/N: My name, unfortunately, is not J.K. Rowling. Therefore I did not invent this marvelous place called Hogwarts, therefore I have no rights to this story except for the plot and my own characters.

Hey guys,

I'm sorry that I worried some of you when I didn't post two days in a row. You see, college is taking over my life again now that NaNo is done. I have three presentations in the next week alone, one presentation and a paper in the week after that and three papers the week after that one. Right thereafter it's Christmas break that serves as our study period for our oncoming exams in January. So to say that I'm feeling a little overwhelmed about it all would be an understatement.

I am going to keep on trying to upload daily, because I missed hearing from you guys ): And well, it kept me motivated to keep on writing.

The next chapter is definitely going to be a bit lighter or at least I'm going to try to make it so :P

For those of you waiting for another chapter of Living In The Moment, I'll try and write something tomorrow, but I can't promise anything. I'm still figuring out the plot, and I want it to be good!

Hope you enjoy and again, I am so sorry for worrying you. I am fine, I'm in good health, and I saw this hot hunky dude on the train the other day. Life couldn't be better ;)

Love,

Kelly

Chapter 26

You give me no worries,
It seems a little vicious,
To give you my worries.
~ Norwegian Stars - Hooverphonic

The week passed quickly, unfortunately for me. It was Tuesday morning when I realised that I had only two more days left to come clean with Lily. To tell her everything I had told James and do a better job at it too. So far James had indeed kept his word, and he didn't treat me any differently than he had before.

Well, apart from the fact that he wasn't sending me narrow-eyed glares any more. That definitely was a plus. The Marauders and Lily hadn't really understood how we patched things up so quickly, but whereas the Marauders had seemingly just shrugged it off, Lily kept on giving me weird looks whenever James nodded at me in the hallways.

"It's still so weird to see you being friends with him," Lily complained during our History of Magic class.

I shrugged. "I wouldn't say we are friends per se, Lils," I said, trying to ease her mind. What was it with her and all these insecurities? I wasn't going to leave her for another new, shinier friend. I honestly wasn't and I didn't really understand her fear of me doing so.

Okay, so maybe that was a tiny lie. I knew I had this way about me of shutting myself off from the public whenever things got rough, but I was working hard on this, wasn't I? For Merlin's sake I was trying to come up with a way to tell her about my past! Even with James I had just blurted it out as I made it up on the spot.

But if James Potter didn't treat me differently than surely Lily wouldn't either, right? Especially since she did in fact know me, whereas James did not?

Oh, that reasoning was bullocks.

Would she pity me all the more because she knows me? Because she knows I still cry out at night? Because she knows how broken I actually am?

What would she do if she knew that people were still out there, wanting me dead?

Surely this would only worry her that much more?

I didn't think that Lily deserved another problem on top of her own worries with Snape. My eyes fell on James' back. I couldn't help but feel a little grateful towards the lad.

He had listened to me and treated me like he would any normal witch or wizard. It was like he had completely forgotten about me being a banshee and was just very understanding about the fact that my parents had died.

Why was that? Why didn't he take the news worse than he had? I frowned at that until I realized how stupid it was to analyse something like that.

Why couldn't I just be glad that he had accepted it? Honestly, why must I always be so paranoid?

"I hate this class," I told Lily, trying to distract myself from my own thoughts.

Lily shrugged. "You need it to go to your last year," she pointed out.

Yes, thank you. I sighed and thudded my head against the desk. "Do I have to stay here?" I asked miserably.

"Unfortunately, yes," Lily replied with a giggle. "Although I have already summarised this chapter."

"Obviously," I said with a smile. "May I by any chance borrow that summary?"

Lily raised an eyebrow. "What will you give me in return?" she asked with a little smile of her own.

"My undying gratitude?" I offered.

"Tempting," she mused with humour in her eyes, "but not tempting enough."

I thought quickly. "What's your counteroffer?"

"A truth," Lily replied swiftly, giving her answer no thought at all.

I blinked. "A truth?" I repeated slowly.

"Yes. I ask you a question and you have to answer me truthfully," Lily explained as she tapped her feather against her desk.

For some reason my eyes were drawn to the Marauders, and I saw James nodding at me. I smiled. He winked. I turned back to Lily. Lily frowned.

Well then. "Sure," I replied carefully, not really wanting to upset her by keeping any more from her. Besides I was supposed to open up to her, right? Then why not just answer her question?

"What did you and James talk about that made you guys so close so quickly?"

Well, except that.

I hesitated and it must have shown because I saw Lily withdraw. She looked back to her parchment and her feather stilled on the desk. I bit my lip. If I didn't tell her, I'd hurt her and if I did, I'd probably hurt her as well since I confided in someone she hated faster than I confided in her.

There was no good solution here. "About my parents," I finally whispered, watching her carefully.

Should I have kept quiet? Lily's rigid pose told me that I should have tried telling her something else. Anything else.

But then I would have been lying and she didn't deserve that either.

I felt like hitting my head against the desk again. This friendship thing was terrible.

Should I feel guilty that I told James first? Did it make me a bad person because I didn't tell her?

"Your parents," Lily repeated deadpanned.

"Yes," I replied again, a bit stronger this time. I wasn't going to feel ashamed that I had told James instead of her, I decided. I simply refused to. I was pretty damn proud of myself for telling someone at last and I wasn't going to let that feeling be jeopardized by anything. Not even my need to comfort and befriend Lily. I was stronger than that.

Or I certainly hoped so.

"I see," she murmured, eyeing James herself now. I saw James look up, catch her eyes and look away again. He seemed to realize what had happened about a second later, because his head snapped back in a flash as his eyes drank in Lily watching him. A smile started forming on his face that quickly changed into a knowing smirk.

"Prick," she muttered when he waggled his eyebrows at her.

I couldn't really disagree. "Lily," I started, but she shook her head.

"Look, I don't know what made you trust him over me," she whispered slowly, "and I'm not going to pretend that doesn't hurt. I am, however, glad that you've found someone to talk to even if that person isn't me."

I started smiling at her, but she shook her head quickly. "No, don't smile at me right now," she told me sternly. "You have to trust me sometime, sweetie. I know that that's something you can't force and I don't want you to trust me out of obligation or something, if that even makes any sense," she babbled. "I don't understand it though. I thought you hated him, Nika. You hit him!"

I bit my lip again and sighed. I closed my eyes for a second, before opening them again and looking straight into piercing grey eyes.

Time froze, I swore it did. I know that it's such a cheesy thing to say, but it was like everything was muted for those few seconds. Lily's confused babble, my whirlwind of emotions and the professor's droning voice. All that remained was this feeling of utter and complete peace as I stared in wonder at Sirius Black.

He held his head slightly to the side, and gave me the saddest look I had ever seen. He looked so much like a lost puppy there that tears sprung to my eyes. I saw his eyes travelling over my face before he looked away. He shook his head as he said something to James, who looked over his shoulder at me.

A tear was falling down my left cheek as he gave me a comforting smile. Apparently all of a sudden my little crush on his best friend wasn't that pathetic any more?

I didn't really know how to interpret that smile, so I decided to not even try. I turned back to Lily and the world came back to life. "Can I talk to you, please?" I asked her, interrupting her mid-sentence.

She blinked. "Why are you crying?" I saw her looking at a certain Marauder, and her confused eyes found mine again.

I laughed darkly. Why was she so concerned about me? Why was she so nice? I obviously didn't deserve her, especially since I had just hurt her feelings. Again.

Lily seemed to realise that too, since her gaze hardened. "I thought we were talking?"

I gave her a comforting smile, not unlike James'. "You were talking, Lily. Raging, really," I started slowly. "But I would like to tell you something later tonight if you're up for it."

Lily gave me a confused shake of her head. "What do you want to tell me then?" she sounded exasperated, and I couldn't really blame her.

I sighed but remained quiet.

"How about we talk now?"

How about we don't talk about my dead parents in a classroom full of students? "How about we talk tonight?" I tried again.

Lily gave me another one of her infamous frowns. "Fine, but I'm not happy with this situation," she told me, thudding her feather against the desk again.

"Duly noted."

I just hoped my courage wouldn't have left me by then. "So how about that summary?"

After our last class I took Lily for a stroll on the grounds. She had been quiet all day, not exactly ignoring me but I could tell that I had hurt her with my confession. She had been reluctant to go with me at first, but as I started explaining to her what had happened to my family, she kept pace with me easily.

We stopped next to the lake and I finished my story, staring over its surface. Lily was quiet for several moments, before she spoke: "I am so sorry." She grabbed my shoulders and gave me a fierce hug.

I hugged her back a bit awkwardly. "Not your fault," I announced.

Lily looked at me, and I was surprised to see tears in her eyes. "Of course it isn't my fault, you silly person, but I am still sorry. I knew something must have happened to your family, especially since you keep calling for them in your sleep every now and then, but I couldn't have imagined this. I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that," I told her softly and gave her another hug. I wiped her tears away and gave her a smile. "And stop crying, please. I hate it when you cry," I confessed.

Lily gave me a watery smile. "Why did they come after you though?" She cleared her throat, and I heard her sniffle a little.

I hesitated right then and there. This would be the time to come clean completely right? I just couldn't. It would just add more on Lily's pile of nonsense and I couldn't. I would tell her, I told myself, but not now.

"I don't know how they found us," I muttered, hating myself as I did so. Oh, how I hated this. "And who knows why Voldemort does the things he does?"

Lily nodded, giving my hand a little comforting squeeze. "I'm glad you told me."

I gave her a genuine smile. "Me too."

"I'm sorry I was such a tosser," Lily told me on our way back to the castle, a little while later. "Maybe you should smack some sense into me every now and then like you did with Potter."

I laughed at that. "Yes, because then you won't attack me like a raging fury on her period."

Lily grinned at me. "Now, wouldn't that be a sight?"

I giggled a little and hooked my arm in hers. I knew there was at least one Gryffindor who would like to see Lily in a muddy catfight, that I knew for sure.