A/N: I don't own the wrestlers! I do own Pixie, Annabelle and Ginger. Miz Mallows and Teh D belong to Darkest-Hearts. HB and Jack belong to PowerPeguin, who is not on here (yet). As always, it's meant in fun.
The Mizard Of Odd
Chapter 26: Miz Gets Transportation
"Are you sure we can't take you any further?" Annabelle asked when, two towns over from the Denny's, Miz asked the band to help them rent a minivan. "We're still pretty far from where we're going."
"I'm sure, but thank you," Miz said. "You've been very helpful, and I don't want anyone else to get bit by Randy." He eyed the Viper, who was "sleeping", though Miz caught him peeking through an open eye at least twice in the last ten minutes.
Annabelle shrugged. "We've had worse happen. But if you're sure…"
"Positive," Miz said. "We don't want you guys to miss your gig because of us. Plus," he said, lowering his voice, "I think Ginger is going to try and kill someone, and I'd rather it wasn't me."
HB sighed. "I keep telling Jack and Teh D not to poke her with any more sticks, but they don't listen."
"Of course they're not going to listen," Annabelle said, "when you're the one that taught them to poke her with sticks."
"That may not have been my best idea ever," HB agreed.
"Anyway," Annabelle said, "we'll take you to the car rental place and you can take off."
"Thanks," Miz said. "I think that will be for the best." He shook his head as Randy looked up hopefully and made a biting motion with his hand. The Viper shrugged and closed his eyes again.
%
Punk and Annabelle went to rent the car alone. Miz would have gone, but it would have required taking the Viper with him, and the less people who were exposed to Orton, the better. It took about twenty minutes, but Punk finally returned with the keys to an SUV. "They didn't have any minivans?" Miz asked.
"What am I, a soccer mom?" Punk asked. "Besides, this will seat everyone and it has four wheel drive."
"Why do we need four wheel drive?"
"Because it's best to be prepared."
"For what?" Miz asked.
"Everything. Which reminds me. We need to stop off and get some Pepsi."
"If I let you get some Pepsi, you have to promise you're not going to try and baptize anyone in the car."
"Fine," Punk muttered. "But can I heal Christian's eyes in the car?"
"No!" Christian said.
"You heard the man," Miz said to Punk. "No healing Christian's eyes in the car."
"I'll do it while he's asleep," Punk said. "He won't feel a thing."
"No," Miz said. "Sorry, Punk."
"If he's getting Pepsi, I want root beer," Christian said. "I don't want to drink Pepsi this trip. I don't even like Pepsi."
"Blasphemy!" Punk said.
"You try having it dumped over your head and poured into your eyes and see how you feel about it!" Christian told Punk.
"It's the holy drink," Punk retorted. "That's how I feel about it."
"It's fine," Miz said. "We'll get Christian some root beer."
"Hmph. I don't want him drinking my holy Pepsi, anyway. It would be wasted on someone like him."
"Okay," said Miz, "now that we've got that settled…"
"I can't believe you said you don't like Pepsi," Punk said to Christian.
"Well, I don't!" Christian said.
Miz sighed. "Can you argue about this in the car? I'd like to get on the road."
"Who's arguing?" Punk said. "We're having a polite discussion about why this heathen said that terrible thing."
Miz took the keys from Punk and unlocked the doors to the SUV. "Everybody in! No, Matt, you sit up front with Punk."
Matt said, "Great! I like being up front!"
Punk took back the keys. "Are you mad at me or something?" he asked Miz.
"What? No. What makes you think that?"
"Matt?" He indicated the front seat.
"I'm trying to keep him and JJ separated so we don't have to deal with Matthew or Godzilla," Miz said.
"I suppose," Punk said. "But maybe next time, you should put JJ up front."
"Then who will keep an eye on Christian?" Miz asked.
Punk sighed. "Why does anyone have to keep an eye on him? If he'd just let me heal his eyes…"
"No!" Christian shouted from the back of the SUV. "Not happening, Punk!"
Miz raised his eyebrows at Punk. "That's why," he said. "Hey, if you happen to see a place that sells snacks, we should stop and get the Pepsi and root beer and something to munch on. And we need a map. It's going to be a long trip."
"We'll get the snacks and stuff," Punk said, "but we don't need a map. The rental car place threw in a GPS unit."
"They did? Why?"
Punk shrugged. "I mentioned that it was going to be a long trip and we had no idea where we were headed, and the guy said for a couple extra dollars a day, we could rent a GPS. So I did."
"Oh. Good thinking, Punk."
"Thanks," Punk said, smiling. "I'd rather not be lost with you idiots any longer than I have to be. We may not be entirely clear on who we're looking for or how they can help us, but that doesn't mean we ought to be wandering around lost like the Israelites in the desert, does it?"
"No, probably not."
"Besides, I'm sure my dad will guide us when we need it. I mean, he's the one who suggested the SUV, and the guy throwing in the GPS was an act of God if ever I've seen one. And believe me, I've seen plenty of them."