-x-

Chapter 24: When it Isn't Like it Should Be

By the way, you left with out saying goodbye to me
Now that you've gone away
All I can think about is you and me.

-x-

She ignored the looks of sympathy as she walked down the hall of her godforsaken school. Just twenty more days, she chanted as the only way of getting through the day. Everyone had heard of her break up with Tai and for some reason it was unbelievable to every ear. No one knew why, hell she didn't even really know why, but they were all shocked. She supposed it was because they were the couple that was supposed to get married after high school.

She always thought so.

"Sora!" The unmistakable voice of her brunette friend called behind her. "Wait up!" She finally touched the redhead's arm, trying to catch her breath.

Sora resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Hey Mimi." She greeted swiftly, keeping her pace steady.

Mimi struggled to keep up. "Sora, how about I come over tonight?" She suggested, knowing her best friend had a rough week. "We could do a movie slash slumber party night?" She asked hopefully.

She doesn't want to refuse her, she's been feeling bad for avoiding the poor brunette all week and it isn't really her fault. "Sure." She complied. Sora figured it would be good for her, she'd rather not wallow in self-pity again tonight.

A dazzling smile broke out on to the girl's face. "Yay!" She clapped her hands together in excitement. "I promise, you won't even think about" Mimi paused to look around. "You know who." She whispered.

Sora laughed, for a second understanding the appeal the brunette had to boys. For one thing, she was damn near adorable. "It's a date." She assured, patting the girl's hand.

Mimi couldn't resist the urge to throw her arms around her redheaded friend. "Oh good! Sor, I really thought you were mad at me for a bit there." She said into her hair.

And Sora felt guilty for that. "It wasn't about you. I just needed to be alone." Even guiltier for lying straight to her face.

Mimi nodded. "I get it." She said wholeheartedly. "But I wanna help you, okay?" She requested.

Sora hesitated. "Okay." She said finally.

"And if you're up to it, maybe you'll tell me what happened?" She hinted.

"Maybe." Sora gave her a half fake smile.

-x-

"What are you doing tonight?" He asked, nuzzling his cheek against her hair.

She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Mmm, not you?" She scrunched her nose up at him.

He chuckled. "Believe me, I know." He said with a shake of his head.

She swatted his arm playfully. "It'll happen." She said seriously. "Just give me a couple…" She trailed off sheepishly, they'd never actually discussed the subject of sex. They were almost always interrupted some way or some how and then they broke up. So it never came down to talking.

Matt kissed the side of her head. "I'm not pressuring you." He assured her. "But if it could happen sometime before I'll need Viagra that would be—

"Matt!" She shoved his shoulder, making a face up at him.

"I'm kidding." He grinned.

She settled her head against his chest. "But besides that, I'm busy tonight anyway." She informed him.

A quizzical look passed his face. "With who?" He asked.

"I'm gonna hang out with Sora, I wanna get her out of this slump." She told him.

He frowned. "Yeah, she's pretty down these days." He sighed. She had helped him out a lot when he'd been going through relatively the same thing, he just wished the redhead would let him repay her.

But knowing her, she wouldn't let him anywhere close enough to see her hurt. "But don't expect her to be very…talkative." He warned.

Mimi shrugged a shoulder. "Whether she wants to talk or not, I'm just gonna be there for her." She resolved. "Sora's a good friend and I want to try and help her." She explained.

He kissed her cheek. "Good, I think she needs it." He approved.

She looked up at him with a hopeful glance. "What?" He groaned, knowing she wanted something from him.

"Well…" Mimi began. "It wouldn't kill you to spend some time with Tai." She hinted heavily. "He's been pretty out of it himself." She was referring to the brunette's new stand-offish attitude and cold demeanor. "He barely even talks to anyone anymore." She said anxiously.

"Come on, Mimi. If he wants to talk me to he will." Matt persisted. "I'm not gonna—

She stopped him with the protrusion of her bottom lip. "Please?" She asked, fluttering her eye lashes. "Puh-lease?" She begged further.

Matt shook his head. "Guys aren't like girls, it's time you figured that out." He wasn't budging.

She stopped him mid-step, positioning her body in front of his. "I don't care. Tai is our friend and I want you to spend some time with him." She said firmly. "And I understand if that makes your masculinity uncomfortable but if you love me like you say you do, you'll do it for me." Mimi said quickly.

Matt threw his head back in annoyance. "Mimi, why can't you just leave well enough alone?" He asked, running a hand through his hair.

"And why can't you spend an evening with your best friend?" She countered. "I mean, would you rather I had a slumber party with Tai and you watched a movie with Sora?" Mimi asked sarcastically.

He sighed loudly. "Fine, fine. But just so you know, this is what led to their break up." An assumption on his part, but a correct one at that.

Mimi disregarded this. "Thank you." She said curtly. "Even though I don't know why I had to practically beg you in the first place." She said, a delicate frown on her face.

He smiled a half smile at her terribly adorable pout. "You're cuter that way." He murmured, closing the distance between his mouth and her own.

She kissed him back, slight annoyance at him forgotten as his arm found her waist. "You sure you don't wanna spend tonight together instead of separately?" He asked as a last ditch effort.

Mimi gave a small laugh. "I'm sure." She touched his cheek with her hand. "Thanks for letting me stay with you, by the way." She said gratefully.

"Obviously you wouldn't be able to stay alone." He said with a shrug.

"But only till my parents get back." She said seriously. "Coz I can't spend the rest of my life being scared of my own room." And she meant it too, she wouldn't let that psycho be the cause of any more sleepless nights.

Matt pulled her to his chest and held her as close as he could with out physically crushing her. "You stay as long as you need to." He ran a hand through her hair. "I won't let you get hurt again Mimi, I promise." He vowed.

-x-

Mimi went home with Sora right after school, to give the redhead no time at all to reconsider. Because she knew that if it were up to her best friend, the girl would want to draw her creepy drawings and listen to her depressing music instead.

They sat on the redhead's bed, picking through Mimi's box of nail polishes. "This would look awesome on you." Mimi held up a bottle of "Charged Up Cherry" toe paint. "It's so your color." She holds it against the girl's feet for emphasis.

Sora grabs it from her. "You think?" She asks, examining the bottle herself. It was a bit more daring than she'd ever really tried, but it sure was sexy. "It's probably more you." She sighed in defeat.

Mimi shook her head. "No way, dude." She said honestly. "It's gonna look great." She assured.

"If you say so." The red head shrugged. "So, how are things with Matt?" It wasn't a topic Sora was all too comfortable with but she knew that the conversation would veer towards her and Tai soon if she didn't say anything. And that was a discussion she wanted to put off for as long as possible.

Because when the questions of how and why came up, Sora knew she'd have no answers. And that absolutely killed her.

Mimi gave her a weary look. "Good, I guess. Do you think I'm going to fast?" She had been having thoughts along those lines since their kiss on the porch. "I mean, am I setting myself up for heartbreak and all that jazz?" She wanted Sora's honest opinion, if there was someone she could trust to tell her the truth, it was her best friend. Right?

Sora wanted to say "Yes." Because that's how she felt. Sora wanted to tell Mimi to slow down and maybe even put on the breaks. Because she was worried about the brunette's well being more than anything else. And sure, she'd had some confused concerns about Mimi and Tai the past few weeks but she wanted to get over that.

But she also didn't want to ruin Mimi's happiness. "Uhm, well if you're comfortable." She answered meagerly. She didn't want to be the girl who brings her friends down with her. "I think, you guys are meant to be together, Meems." She gulped down the lump in her throat. She'd thought the same about her and Tai once and the thought alone cause tears to prick against her eyes.

Mimi gazed long and hard at Sora. "You're sure?" For some strange reason, it felt like Sora wasn't saying all that she felt.

Sora squeezed her eyes shut. "I think…" She trailed off, meeting Mimi's expectant gaze.

I think Matt's an idiot. I think he shouldn't have kissed you. I think you shouldn't be with him because, yes it is too soon. I think you're being really rash in your decisions and I think you should have thought before you jumped back into a relationship with him. I think all this because I love you and care about you.

Did Mimi really wanna hear all that? She was happy for god sakes, so what did it matter what Sora thought? And why is she asking, now of all times? When things are already so messed up.

"Sor?" Mimi asked.

She took a deep breath. "I think that things are finally getting good for you guys." She said with a smile. "Maybe it happened a little quickly and with out warning but what does it matter if you guys are happy?" Sora really did believe that, just not as much as she thought that this relationship was doomed.

And maybe she's just too jaded, having seen so much tragedy in such a young life, but she just didn't believe in magical endings. Where the guy gets the girl and they ride off into the sunset together, carefree and problem-less. Because life? Life just didn't let that happen, something always got in the way.

"Oh god Sora, I'm so sorry." Mimi shook her out of her thoughts by throwing her arms around the girl. "I'm totally depressing you here and I just, I wanted to do the exact opposite." She murmured into the redhead's hair.

Sora rubbed her back. "It's okay, Meems. I'm alright." Lie, that's such a lie. She was so far from alright she wouldn't be able to point it out on a map.

Mimi didn't seem convinced, in the least. But wasn't willing to press it, being in a break up was hard enough as it is. With out the added stress of having to talk about it. "So, what movie would you want to watch first?"

-x-

He'd intended to go over to Tai's house after practice. He really was going to keep his promise to his almost girlfriend. He knew that he was skating on some seriously thin ice and he was willing to do just about anything to keep his girl around. Besides, a few games of NBA Live was something he'd do in his free time anyway. Not lately, but usually him and Tai would have "Boys Nights" all the time.

Instead, he ended up parked in a driveway he hated and in a part of town he never came to. He knew what he was doing here, he'd wanted to do this since he'd found out about her lying, cheating ways. But one thing or another got in the way and this was the only time he found to do this. He contemplated letting Mimi know or not, God knows he couldn't keep any more secrets from the brunette, but ultimately decided against it.

He took a calming breath and rang the doorbell. He wanted to be able to talk to her with out blowing up and he knew that he would've needed time for that. Now, he was still mad but it was under control.

She opened the door looking unkempt and disheveled, very unlike her. Her eyes opened wide and her eye brows rose at the sight of him. "You owe me an explanation." He barked, with out beating for a second around the bush.

She sighed. "Okay." She moved out of the way to let him inside.

He stepped inside and waited. "Don't you wanna sit down?" She offered.

He shook his head tightly. "I'm fine. Just start talking, Kira." He wouldn't put up with any of her games.

Kira ran a hand through her oily black hair. "What do you wanna know?" She asked quietly.

"The truth." Matt answered.

"I'm not pregnant, Matt. I never was. Is that what you want to hear?" She looked up from the floor and met his cool blue gaze.

The look on his face was pure disgust. "Yeah, I figured that one out on my own, thanks." He scoffed.

"So? Then what is the problem?" She asked, she didn't know what possessed him to come here. And now, when none of it even mattered any more. "You can go play house with your precious Mimi now."

"Why did you do it?" He ignored her comments. "Why would you screw everything up like that?" He demanded.

She sighed again. "I don't know." That was a lie, she knew exactly what she did it. But she was sworn to secrecy, speaking his name would be a deal breaker. Not to mention potentially dangerous.

"Bull shit." He growled. "Don't fuck with me, Kira. Tell me the damn truth." He was angry all over again, his hands were shaking, his blood pumping.

She took two steps back. "Don't yell at me, Matt." She said sharply. "You never gave a shit about me and as far as I'm concerned I don't owe you a damn thing." Kira retorted.

Matt's eyes flashed dangerously. "You were the worst mistake of entire life, you know that?" He still couldn't believe he actually dated this girl. "And from now on, I honestly don't care what happens to you." His voice hard and firm. "You're dead to me." And he meant it.

She felt his words cut through her with the sharpness of a knife. "I…" She didn't know what to say to him.

Matt shook his head. "I'm giving you one last chance, Kira. Tell me what happened and maintain whatever little dignity you have left." This wasn't over, he could feel it. And he needed any and every piece of information he could get, for Mimi's sake.

When she didn't say anything, he knew he wouldn't get anywhere with her. Not today anyway. "Stay away from me and stay away from my friends." He snarled.

She stared at her feet, avoiding the revulsion and hatred in his azure eyes. The same ones that once told her how much she had meant to him. But then again, that was a lie. Like everything else in their relationship. Everything before and after Mimi, meant nothing to him. And it was high time she acknowledged that.

She reached out to his arm just as he turned away. "It's the past." She got out before he shook off her hand. "Just leave it alone." It was the sagest advice she could give to him.

He didn't bother looking at her. "You heard what I said, Kira." His voice had no emotion, nothing. "I never want to see you again."

His words hurt more than they should have. And as she watched him leave, she couldn't help but feel lonely all over again. Except this time? She actually cared.

-x-

"So you told her, huh?" He asked casually, as they walked along the pier.

She looked up at him. "Psychic, much?" She didn't bother denying it.

He chuckled. "I'm glad you did." He said honestly. "I wouldn't care if you told everybody in this town." And she knew he didn't, if he had it his way, he'd yell it from the rooftops.

"Ken, it isn't that easy." She wished he'd understand.

And maybe he didn't, but he still took her word for it. "Whatever you're comfortable with, Zoe. I mean it." Of course he meant it. He hadn't been anything but perfect to her since she started seeing him, but that didn't mean he wasn't hurt.

Zoe slipped her hand into his. "I know you think I'm hiding this. But I'm not." She wanted so badly to comfort him. "I care about you, Ken. I really do and I just don't want anything to screw this up." She was scared. Scared that when left to the fates, they'd fall apart. Like Matt and Mimi, like Tai and Sora.

And yes, Zoe had told Mimi that most of her reasons for keeping this under wraps was because of her concern for Yolie's feelings. And yes, that was still partially true. But more than that, it was because she didn't want her and Ken to end up another casualty. Zoe wanted to protect herself, the way Mimi hadn't been able to.

Ken stopped walking, holding her wrist to halt her as well. "I'm not going to hurt you." He said it so firmly, so determinedly, she could barely contest it.

He tucked a hand under her chin. "I know it's not easy for you." Zoe had been through a lot, he knew she had. Ken remembered when she told him about her mom and her "dad" and how Matt had first acted. How hurt she had felt when Matt didn't accept her and how incredibly hard she tried to pretend like it didn't get to her. Zoe confided a lot of secrets in him and invested a lot. "But I'm not going to leave you." He also knew that's what she was afraid of.

Because everyone she'd ever cared about, left her in some way at some time.

She blinked blue eyes up at him. "I know…" She mumbled. "But, Ken." Tears welled up in Zoe's eyes for reasons unbeknownst to even her.

Smiling, he kissed her. Long and hard in assurance that he didn't need an explanation. That he wasn't judging her or begrudging her. He wanted her to know, that he accepted her.

And she needed that, so badly. "I really like you, you know that?" He grinned, dark pools of cobalt twinkling. "And we have all the time in the world." That might not be the case, they had until graduation which was looming mighty close. But they'd cross that bridge when they got to it.

"Mimi didn't react bad, at all." Zoe decided to veer off subject just a bit. He was trying and she owed it to him to reciprocate. "She thinks it's good." The brunette didn't use those exact words, because saying them would betray her friendship to Yolie, but she hinted at it.

Ken shrugged a shoulder. "We didn't exactly need her permission."

"I didn't mean it like that." Zoe said, back on the defensive. "I just thought I'd tell you, so that you knew it wasn't that bad." One person at a time was easier to handle than telling her entire world.

He sighed. "I know." He was willing to wait for her, as long as she needed.

"You can say I told you so, if you want." She conceded.

He fought a grin. "It's okay, I'll spare you. This time." Ken kissed her forehead. "But you should really learn not to argue with me." They'd had some not so nice fights over the idea of secrecy at the beginning. But as Ken got to know Zoe and her reasons, he let her have her way.

She wrinkled her nose. "But how boring would we be if I didn't?" She asked. "We'd be like Takari." Zoe said humorously.

"Like who?"

She rolled her eyes. "Tk and Kari, Takari. Come on, you knew that one." She grinned playfully.

He just shook his head and mumbled something that sounded faintly like "Girls…"

"But would you mind so terribly if we didn't tell the world?" She requested, still very uncertain when it came letting everyone know. "Just yet…" Zoe added for good measure. A sort of compromise, that maybe not now but soon.

Another sigh. "I want to be able to hold your hand and walk you to class. I want to kiss you at your locker and carry your books. I want to call you my girlfriend and take you out properly." He didn't bother lying, he didn't see the need to. He had never been anything but sincere with her from the very beginning and there was no point in going back now. "But when you're ready." He lightly touched her long blonde hair and brought his hand to rest at her neck.

Zoe tentatively raised a hand and brought it to cup his cheek. "You're really great, do you know that?" Zoe smiled a brilliantly breathtaking smile that couldn't be described as anything but genuine.

He gave a small laugh. "If you think so, baby." Ken murmured, pulling the petite blonde to his chest.

She buried herself deeper into the soft fabric of his shirt. Letting the smell of soap and subtle cologne surround her. "If I told you I could love you, what would you do?" She put her cards on the table. Do or die time and either she'd be rewarded for her vulnerability or it would blow up in her pretty little face.

She hoped to God it wouldn't be the latter.

"I would tell you that I could love you too, a hundred times over."

And as disgustingly cheesy at it was, she couldn't be happier.

-x-

Been scared and lonely

Tai kept his eyes on a specific spot on the wall. There was nothing real special about it, no significant meaning. Just a miniscule hole in the wall where a picture once hung. And it was his concentration on that hole that kept him tipping back his bottle. Bottle after bottle. And it didn't seem wrong and after a while nothing really seemed right. It all just blended together, like blood and water down an empty drain.

He never in a million years thought he'd be this guy. The one that drank himself under the table during the day and went under the influence at night. The guy who kept his family and friends at arms length, who hurt everyone that meant anything to him. He never thought that he'd end up in the situation he's in now, confused and lost beyond any hope. With nothing but the crap in his head and hole in his heart.

I've asked myself what's wrong with you?

Tai couldn't help but wonder if his decision had been completely wrong? He didn't know if what he did was redeemable. Could it be taken back? Would anything ever be the same again? Was there anything that could make this all okay? And would he ever be able to go back to being the person he used to be? Would it even matter when he did?

My girlfriend told me

And every time he thought of redemption, Tai always thought of her. The girl who'd put everything on the line for him. Who'd let him in when she kept everyone else out. The one he'd give it all for. Sora. And she meant so much to him that sometimes he thought he lost his mind. How could he give up the one thing he had going for him? And how could she let him go so easily?

Had their relationship really been so fragile, so meaningless that the both of them could give up and call it quits with out so much as an argument?

But then he remembered how things actually went down. And how he left Sora no choice but to step aside. How he had broken up with her and how hurt she'd been then. How crushed she was and that knowing look in her eyes that spoke volumes. The way she stared at him, disappointed and broken. It haunted his dreams.

I need time to deal with my issues

Still, somewhere in the depths of his mind, for as much sympathy as Tai had for his ex, he held some resentment. Wasn't Sora the one that had pushed him to Mimi in the first place? Wasn't she the one who insisted that they get involved. Shouldn't Sora have, on some level, expected this?

A knock on his door startled him. Kari had stopped checking in on him, she probably just stopped caring. And he hadn't had visitors since the last time Mimi had left. And he didn't expect her to come around.

"What are you doing here?" He didn't bother keeping the surprise (and a little distaste) out of his voice.

The blonde just nodded before stepping into the other guy's room. "Doing my girlfriend a favor." He answered honestly, walking to the couch in his friend's room.

The brunette ran a hand through his messier than usual hair. "Got it." He nodded, his voice a little strained.

"What's going on, man?" He asked. "What happened, Tai?" For better or worse, they would always be best friends. Whether they liked it or not, they'd always know the other better than anyone else.

Tai shrugged a shoulder. "Things are fucked up." He supplied, his voice emotionless.

"And you look like shit." Matt sighed, not understanding what could have led to Tai making such a bad decision.

Tai shook his head. "Yeah, that's what I'm worried about right now." He scoffed.

Matt ran a hand through his hair and sat back. "Look we don't have to have a heart to heart here, okay?" The thought talking about his feelings with Tai made Matt a little queasy.

Tai ignored him and sat in his computer chair.

"I just kinda wanna know what happened, is all." Matt said with a shrug of his shoulder.

Tai looked over at the blonde. "Me and Sora broke up, man." He kept his voice neutral. "It happens."

The tone of his voice told Matt otherwise. "But to you guys? Come on, dude, it doesn't just happen when it comes—

"We aren't superman and wonder woman here, okay? Shit happens, people grow apart and it's life!" He interrupted in frustration. "And everyone just needs to move the fuck on." Tai grabbed the half empty beer bottle on the desk and puts it to his lips.

Matt shook his head at the brunette. "Dude, you really shouldn't be…" But the sentence just died on his lips. He's reminded that he has no right to tell Tai what to do. No authority whatsoever, especially since he dealt with a similar situation the same way.

Tai looked at him expectantly. "No grand lecture? Nothing to effect of "Tai getting drunk isn't the answer."?" He raised his eye brows in miserable amusement.

"No. More like get me a beer and I'll kick your ass at Halo." The blonde sighed. This was the only thing that Matt could think of to do, the only thing that made any sense given their relationship. He knew he wouldn't be able to get Tai to give up his drinking, in fact it would just have the opposite effect. Tai would just ask Matt to leave.

Tai's surprised to say the least but accepted the offer anyway. He doesn't need Matt to ask him what's wrong or tell him what he's doing is just hurting himself; he just needs the guy to be his friend. And while he doesn't know how to do that, playing a game of Halo seemed to be a harmless way to start. "All right." He mumbled.

Matt nodded. "No bitching either, when we play you go hard." He said with a smirk.

Tai laughed the first genuine laugh he's had in what feels like years. He remembered why they were such good friends, because Matt understood him like no one else. Which made his confusion even worse. What kind of friend develops feelings for his best friend's girlfriend? What kind of douche does that?

"Just bring your A game, man. Coz you'll need it." Tai retorted, momentarily letting go of everything that kept him up at night.

But as soon as he stepped out of his room, the feelings came back like a tidal wave. Crushing him underneath the pain and confusion.

Where was he supposed to go from here?

-x-

"Is it weird that Matt and Tai are under the same roof?" Kari questioned her boyfriend from her spot on the couch.

"And not fighting?" Tk supplied. "Yeah, I don't know, things seem too…" He trailed off at a loss for words.

Kari nodded. "Quiet? Calm? Peaceful?" She sighed. "I know, it worries me." She admitted, the movie on TV forgotten.

Tk put an arm around her shoulders. "And you still think this has to do with Mimi?" He asked.

Kari nodded again, but slightly unsure. "I, I think so. Maybe. I don't really know anymore." She confessed, her brother had become a mystery to her overnight. His drinking had become compulsive, his mood swings unbearable, she tiptoed around when she was home and avoided him at all costs.

Tk tucked a hand under the tiny brunette's chin. "Hey, talk to me." He murmured, seeing her change in demeanor. "I'm here for you, you know that." He tucked her hair behind her ear.

Slowly she met his gaze. "I'm scared for him, Tk." She whispered. Kari had thought that maybe breaking up with Sora was the best thing for Tai but he'd gone into a downward spiral since then. She'd never seen her brother so lost, so helpless. "I wish I could help him but he just he won't let me and I'm just afraid that…" Kari knew that she could just be being dramatic but from what she'd seen the past couple of weeks, this just wasn't going away.

Tk frowned, something that he didn't do often, something that just didn't suit him. "I didn't know you felt this way." He touched her cheek. "But I think that you need to worry less about it."

Kari looked away from him. "I just can't." She said softly. "He's my brother and I love him and I want him to be happy." And it was all she wanted. Just for Tai to be the person he used to be.

Tk cupped the side of her face. "I know and believe me I know how hard it is." He was probably one of the few people that understood the most, having been through it with Matt. "But this is something he obviously needs to figure out on his own." He said honestly.

Kari knew he was right. What he said made sense and was completely true. But it didn't change the fact that she wanted Tai to talk to her. "He's drinking a lot, you know." She said quietly.

Tk ran a hand through his hair. "Babe, he's a guy, he's gonna drink." He said dismissively. "He's going through something and it's gonna take time." Tk doesn't want Kari to stress over something she has no control over.

And he's really beginning to resent Tai for putting her through it.

Kari isn't convinced by his claim but drops the subject nonetheless. "Yeah, I guess you're right." She said anyway. "Do you really think Sora and Tai broke up because of "irreconcilable differences?" like Tai told you?" She wanted to know his opinion on this subject.

"We keep going around in circles, Kar." Tk pointed out. "Yeah, yeah I do. But I told you that already." He knew it wasn't what she wanted to hear.

She grimaced. "I just think there's more to it then that." She'd made that clear enough.

"But we aren't digging around to find out, right?" There wasn't a single thing in the world that could get Tk involved in the mess this had become. "I mean it, Kari, so far we've been out of the line of fire. And I want to keep it that way." His voice was firmer than she'd ever heard it.

She knew there was no arguing with him, even she had wanted to. "For the record, I wasn't saying that." She said honestly. "I just…I kind of just wanted some answers." She shrugged.

He pulled her to his chest, kissing the side of her forehead. "Give him time, baby." Tk said into her hair. "I'm sure he'll come around."

-x-

Mimi had laid awake all night, thoughts and doubts swimming through her head. The minute her eyes would close, she'd see things that she just wished would go away. Remember what happened to her just a few weeks ago and that would bring back thoughts of the fact that he was still out there. And everything she'd gone through, could happen again.

Most days, I try my best to put on a brave face

She also knew that this thing with Matt, she'd gone into it vulnerable and scared. She used him, in a way, as a security blanket. A reason not to be alone, a distraction. He'd take her away from it all, everything that plagued her in the dead of night, and he'd save her. Over and over and over again. And god, she needed that. Mimi needed him more than she liked to admit but couldn't help but feel guilty.

She didn't know if she'd ever get over this, if she'd ever be normal again. Hell, she didn't even know if she'd be able to sleep in her own bed again. But Mimi just couldn't help but wonder, when all was said and done, she'd find those feelings of resentment were still there. Buried and stowed, but there nonetheless. And if those resurfaced, where would it leave them? Where would she go from there?

They had never actually talked about how badly Matt had hurt her in those months that he'd been unavailable. How incredibly stupid and worthless she'd felt when he'd left her. How confused and rejected she'd been when she saw him move on so quickly. And how completely lost she was with out him. She never understood his reasons for not telling her and she just couldn't bring herself to ask.

But inside, my bones are cold and my heart breaks

Because another reason she'd been so keen on going back into a relationship with Matt was under a deluded idea that she owed him something. Matt saved her life and she loved him for it. But did that mean that she only loved him because of it? How can something be real if she wasn't sure if he ever meant it in the first place. And how can she believe in something that had been broken so long ago?

And Mimi just wished she could talk to someone about them. Maybe not Matt just yet but anyone. Anyone who would be able to understand and maybe offer her some perspective. But there wasn't anyone. She didn't have a single person she could go to right now with her concerns. Zoe was MIA, Tai was holed up in his bedroom, Kari and Tk vowed to stay out of it and Sora needed her.

But everyone keep looking to me to be strong and to fight

Mimi knew she barely had herself together some days, did everything she could do from falling apart. And she loved that she could be here for Sora and that Sora was finally starting to kind of get over Tai. But Mimi just didn't think she had any right to give anyone advice or try to cheer anyone up when she felt so crappy inside.

Her doubts and fears kept Mimi staring at the ceiling until the sun began to rise in the sky. But as she struggled to keep those thoughts at bay, she couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by fatigue. And as her eye lids dropped and her fears floated away, a disturbing sound jolted her awake.

The doorbell.

Mimi looked to the redhead beside her, sleeping more peacefully than she'd ever seen her. She looked trouble-free and Mimi had inkling that in Sora's dream world, her and Tai were still together. Probably getting married or something along those lines. And the thought alone made her heart ache. Mimi wished Sora could be happy again but she wished the same thing for herself too.

But I'm just surviving.

The doorbell rang obnoxiously again.

Grumbling and grouchy, she rolled out of bed and padded down the steps. She hoped that the person behind the door had a good reason for disturbing her best friend so early in the morning. Looking through the peep hole she recognized the blonde on the other side.

Sighing, she opened the door. How was it that he knew exactly when to show up sometimes? And other times he had no fucking clue.

"Hey baby." Matt smiled, dipping to catch her lips.

Given her recent musings, Mimi doesn't respond. But he doesn't really notice. "Hi." She raised a hand and let him in.

"Sora asleep?" He questioned, peering around for the redhead.

Mimi nodded. "Seven in the morning, babe. Yeah she's asleep." She was determined to keep the sarcasm out of her voice.

He stared at her for a moment. "You okay?" Matt asked, running a hand up her arm.

Was she okay? How could she even answer a question like that? "Sure, yeah." She gave him a smile.

The way he looked at her then, his dark pools of blue staring right through her, made her lose her breath. "You're lying."

-x-

A/N: School's a bitch and that's all I will say. NO excuses this time, just a simple I'm sorry and please understand my writer's block. I can't bring myself to write sometimes and it's getting harder. Whatever.

Anyway, I guess this was a bit of a filler chapter with some important stuff subtly thrown in. Case in point: The conversation between Z&Ken, beginning of something. Another example: The Takari scene, points out Tai's developing drinking habit. How things are just going downhill for him. And the scene at the end, to show that Mimi didn't go into this relationship with Matt with out doubts. I think the chapter before brushed off the stalker scare as nothing and that's not the way it is at all, Mimato's relationship is the aftermath of it. And Mimi's beginning to wonder if it's a bad thing.

I hope this was worth the wait and a little piece of not that important information: I think this is only going to have thirty chapters (going by MY chapter count, not FF's) so I think after six more chapters, this will finally be finished. Anything more would just be drawing this out unnecessarily and it would get really boring. I wouldn't want that to happen because this story is my pride and joy.

The Soundtrack—

When it Isn't Like it Should Be: Saves the Day (Chapter title, no lyrics)
By The Way: Theory of a Deadman ft Chris Daughtry (Lyrics at the very beginning)
Bottom of a Bottle: Smile Empty Soul (Tai's lyrics)
Sweet Silver Lining: Kate Voegele (Mimi's lyrics)

Like always, please review!

Ciao!
-Chris

P.S! Read&Review my other stories.

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