Meredith felt a lump form in her throat. It shouldn't. She shouldn't be nervous, and yet she was. She was actually feeling sick. She watched as Craig climbed out of his car. He was at her home. She had told him he was welcome anytime. But right now, she wasn't feeling so good about it. Right now she was not so happy to see him. She was just waiting for the shoe to drop.
Meredith heard the knock on the door. She had to pretend she had no idea. She had to pretend that this was unexpected. It was. But at the same time, it was not. Derek was going to be mad. But then it hit her. Why should she care.
"Would you like me to get that, Dr. Grey?" Erin asked quickly as she looked up.
"Um, sure." Meredith said with a shrug as she looked over.
"Are you expecting someone?" Derek asked as he looked over her.
"Um... No." She told him as she shook her head. "I am not."
"LP, you are eating so fast. You better slow down." Derek warned him as he slowly offered another bite. "You are eating like mom used to."
"Lay off it." Meredith growled. "You shouldn't even care, Derek."
"I don't want to see you kill yourself." Derek told her sadly.
"I am fine. I just- I'm stressed out, and I'm not hungry. I'm not on some crazy suicide mission." She told him frankly.
"Hey there..." Craig said in his croatian accent as he walked in.
"Oh... Hi." Meredith feigned surprise as she looked up.
"Craig... What are you doing here?" Derek asked as he looked at them both in shock.
"I just came by to say hello." Craig told him frankly.
"Oh." Derek muttered suspiciously.
Derek was not happy. This wasn't his house anymore, but it was still his home. He didn't like Craig coming here. He knew that he wasn't coming to see him. He was obviously here to see Meredith. Thoughts flashed through his head. Thoughts of Craig's hands on her. Thoughts of Craig's mouth on her body. Him in their bed.
"So do you come her regularly? Just stop by?" Derek growled, somewhat nastily.
"Derek, he's allowed to come by. He is my friend." Meredith explained as she looked at him.
"Well... Never mind." Derek muttered as Liam began talking his loud gibberish.
Erin felt uncomfortable. She wanted the leave. She didn't like being in the middle of this mess. She didn't like the feeling the the poison licking her lungs. The room was filling slowly, and she wanted out before it exploded. She nonchalantly threw her books in her bag.
"I think I'm going to go..." Erin said quickly.
"Nice seeing you again, Erin." Craig said with a smile and a nod.
Nice seeing you again. So they had been seeing each other. That didn't sit well with Derek. It was obvious that Craig had been coming her often enough to know who Liam nanny was. Derek felt his blood beginning to boil. It took all he could to hold himself back.
"Nice meeting you." Derek grumbled as he watched her leave.
"Thank you, Erin." Meredith said with a smile as she watched her walk out.
"So apparently you come here often?" Derek asked smartly as he looked up.
"I do. I like to check up on Mer. This is a big house in the middle of nowhere. I worry about her." Craig said quickly.
"That is why we had a security system installed. I assume you have the code for that?" Derek asked with frustration.
"Don't be a dick, Derek!" Meredith spat quickly "It's none of your business."
"Is he the reason you don't eat, Mer?" Derek asked with a clenched jaw. "Is he the reason why you signed the papers?"
"Fuck you." Meredith growled. "We are just friends. How many times do I have to tell you that?"
"Derek... I just- Mer is my friend. That's it." Craig said quickly.
"Sure it is." Derek said as he shook his head. "I'm sure you guys fuck in our bed, right?"
"I can't do this!" Meredith yelled loudly. "Get out. Say goodbye to Liam and get out."
"Oh, so I have to leave..." Derek said as he shook his head.
"Yes. I will see you tomorrow." She said as she drew in a breath. "But right now, I need you out. Now."
"Whatever, Mer." Derek said as he threw Liam's spoon down and glared at her. "Goodbye, LP. Sorry we had to cut it short."
"Don't do the guilt thing, Derek. You did this to yourself." Meredith growled loudly.
Derek didn't say another word as he kissed his son and walked out. Meredith's face began to scrunch up as she stood there. She looked at Liam, who was drifting off to sleep. She felt Craig wrap his arms around her. She couldn't take it. She pulled away from him and walked across the kitchen, opening the cupboard. Craig watched as she grabbed the bottle of tequila and a glass. Down the hatch.
Meredith poured a shot in a short drinking glass. She had drank all her life. She just needed one shot to calm her nerves. One shot to make her feel a little better. She was so angry at Derek. Angry because she was angry with herself. It was such a mess, and she has no idea if she could or wanted to fix it.
"No, Mer." Craig said as he walked up behind her and grabbed the shot from her hand. "You don't need it."
"I do. You don't know what I need." Meredith growled nastily.
"I think I know what you need more than you think I do." Craig told her as he looked into her green eyes.
"Is that so?" Meredith asked softly as she looked into his brown eyes.
"It is." He said frankly as he leaned in.
Their lips met. It was a soft peck. Meredith's eyes got wide as she pulled back and looked at him. She was in shock. She saw it coming, but she didn't expect it. She wasn't even sure how to feel about it. She leaned back against the counter and took in a deep breath.
"Mer- I- I'm sorry. I didn't- I'm sorry." He said again with a frown.
"I can't take it." She said as she grabbed the shot and slammed it back. "You can't do that. Derek is-"
"An asshole. He called you a whore in front of your nanny and I." He said frankly.
"He didn't call me a whore!" She said defensively. "She was gone. And he never said that. He wouldn't. He's just under a lot of stress. His job- He so busy lately. It just the stress."
"He was thinking about it. He wanted to say it. You need to stop, Mer. Stop doing this to yourself. He gave up. If he cared, he wouldn't have signed the papers. He wouldn't be treating you the way he is. He cuts you down in front of everyone. He forgets about your son. He brushes you off like you don't matter. You matter, Mer! He does not care. And I, for one, and tired of it. I will not allow you to do this to yourself. I will not allow him to do it to you. You need someone who cares about you." Craig said as he pressed her against the counter with his body. "And that is me. I care. I have for a long time."
"What!" She said in shock as she looked at him.
"I am that man... Let me take care of you." He told her as he brushed her face with his hand. "Let me care about you. Derek is gone. Derek doesn't care..." He reminded her. "And I am here. I am waiting. Let me..."
Meredith looked into his eyes. Maybe he was right. Derek gave up. She gave up. There was nothing left of what they once had. And Craig was good to her. And Liam liked him. Meredith looked into his eyes and nodded. Craig smiled as he leaned in and kissed her softly. Meredith leaned into him. It wasn't him. It was the need. She needed to be loved. She was desperate for love. And he was willing to give it to her.
As she pulled away, she felt nothing but guilt. She felt guilty for kissing him. She and Derek were over, but she was still feeling bad. She felt like she betrayed him. She tried to push the thoughts out of her head as she stood there attempting to breathe.
"Did you eat?" He asked as he looked at her.
"I did." Meredith said with a nod. "I ate."
"Are you sure? Maybe we could order something." Craig suggested.
"I ate." She told him as she picked up Liam and walked out of the kitchen.
"So what does all of this mean?" Craig asked as he sat down on the sofa with her.
"I don't know. I just- I need a friend." She told him frankly. "My life is a mess. I just need a friend."
"I want to be more than your friend, Mer." Craig told her honestly.
"I don't know what to do." She said as she leaned back.
"A second ago you were kissing me." He said quickly as he looked into her eyes.
"I'm not just making decisions for me. I am making them for Liam too." Meredith explained.
"If you aren't happy, he can't be. You need to be loved. You need someone you appreciates your beauty. You need a man who makes love to you because he can't keep his hands off of you. You need to remember what it is to be happy." He explained as he grabbed her hand. "I know Liam is your life. And he should be. But you need someone to take care of you while you take care of him."
"It's easier said than done. I had a life mapped out. I knew how it was going to end. Everything has changed. My life is different than what it was supposed to be. I have no idea which way to turn. I have no idea where to go. I just don't know anymore. We gave up. We gave up the fight. We weren't supposed to give up. It was forever. And now, I don't even know what forever is..." She trailed off as she stared into space. She felt Craig grab her hand. Maybe he was right. Just maybe.