Fair warning: Shirazu has a mouth, and I haven't even tried to edit this. . .

Amnesiac

Funny

Funny how Saiko called him Maman. Sure, Sassan filled the role pretty well with his cooking skills, and that one time they crossdressed and Haise did his own makeup, but that's beside the point. Sassan was more than all the men Shirazu knew combined. It just took some time to realize it, especially when he never had a good reference to begin with. Shirazu feared it would rub on to him.

That trait of Haise's showed in those long days in the garage of the chateau, balanced on the pads of his feet leaning beside Shirazu in front of the boy's bike. In the beginning, only Shirazu visited the garage, spending his free time on one of his first purchases after the quinque surgery. Rust coated the old thing. Missing valuable pieces, like an engine, shifter, even the seat, and some bolts and gears, the motorcycle was little less than scrap metal. But with something to keep him busy from his rather antisocial teammates, he accepted the challenge. It wasn't like they did much besides training. It wasn't until a month into training that Haise got curious and checked on Shirazu in the garage, who tinkered away with his headphones blasting in his ears. Never would admit jumping at his mentor's touch or the feminine squeal that came from him, or how red his cheeks flushed. Of course who would make a shitty impression and screw up his image so quickly. He was supposed to be soldier, right? That's why they recruited him.

"There's a pawn shop on Twelfth Street that have some of the parts you need," Haise mentioned casually, ignoring Shirazu's moment of unmanliness. "Make a list and we'll check it out tomorrow."

Since when did Haise know how motorcycles even work let alone the intricacies that made it function? Just a few books, Sassan had replied like it was the most obvious answer. Apparently, there was a book for everything these days which Haise offered to lend. Funny. How funny. This man who cooked better than most housewives just happened to share his interest.

And so the two shopped as Haise promised the next day.

But like any other person, Shirazu had his bad days where the clouds hung lower than usual, and nothing seemed to go right. Everything he did screwed something up, but he couldn't stop that brashness until it was too late, and he could swear he heard his bastard of a father laughing somewhere watching his son make a fool of himself.

He recalled it to be Father's day, a day that left a bitter taste in his mouth. He should call his siblings, make sure the man hadn't left them again to get pissed drunk, maybe see if Haise would let them stay at the chateau a night or two because honestly the guy's unbearable sober let alone drunk. They didn't need to be around that.

His mood showed during training, getting agitated at Urie's casual taunts that slipped off his tongue so easy. His face pissed him off, and he imagined tearing those goddamned moles off his cheek just below his eyes. His movements were sloppy and his strikes intense, powerful but not controlled. He went down quickly by Urie. And then again. And then again. Each time Shirazu grew more frustrated and desperate to land a blow, playing dirty.

And Sasaki noticed.

"We're done."

"What?" They had only just begun. Warm ups had hardly finished.

"You're dismissed. Shirazu, stay." The boy's knuckles turned white as the three watched him from the corner of theirs eyes, and there was the smugness of Urie's that pissed off Shirazu to no end. He couldn't do it, the glances, this day and what it entails. He could scream - would have screamed if Sasaki didn't stand just feet away from his wearing that face. It reminded Shirazu of his teachers, that pity for the poor boy with poor circumstances. But soon enough that pity would turn to anger and frustration. He would give up like the rest of them, Shirazu knew.

He expected a list of the common questions. "What's wrong with you?" "Why are you so angry?" "What can I do?" "Do you know it's wrong - you could have hurt someone." Yes. Yes, he knew. And at the moment, he didn't care.

But none of these questions came nor the accusations. Instead Haise stood before him in a fight stance. "Knock me off my feet, and I'll buy a new engine for your bike."

At first, the words didn't register, then it took another moment to assess whether or not Haise was serious. The engine was the last necessary piece to make the bike run. Shirazu still had another month until his paychecks stacked up enough for him to afford the right engine. And here Sasaki was, offering him his final piece now. Getting out of town this weekend sounded really nice. "And if I don't manage it?"

"You answer any question I want. Actually, let's add on: If you win, new engine and any question you want. If I win, you answer one question. I'll even keep one hand behind my back."

Shirazu wasn't sure if he should feel insulted. Plus, Shirazu wasn't in the mood for talking, and Haise would definitely ask about why he was pissed (as if the guy hadn't read his file already).

But then again, his mentor seems to keep his life rather private, and there are only so many opportunities to get Sasaki to open up. Shirazu knew nothing of the man before falling under his command. This could be interesting. Any question? This could also be awkward based on the question. Asking if Sasaki and Arima were friends with benefits might be off the list of possible questions simply because he didn't need that answered. . . But this could be interesting.

And the disadvantage of Haise not using an arm should make this easy. Shirazu grinned. "Fine."

The boy didn't wait, rushing towards the man at full speed, preparing to slam him to-

But Haise merely sidestepped and guided the boy to the ground where he face planted. Shirazu stood again, taking Haise from the side, which Sasaki dodged with ease. A punch, a kick. Gripping his foot, Sasaki twisted the boy's ankle with his left hand, the other (his dominate hand, he might add) still behind his back, and twisted Shirazu until the boy fell.

It didn't take long for him to see red. No way would he let this guy make a fool out of him, not today when everything was already shitty enough. His pops would be laughing if he saw him. He breathed through his nose and imagined that asshole standing before him, wearing the smug look that pissed him off. Proper motivation, Shirazu thought.

But Shirazu only stood once more and made another jab - miss. His breathing came ragad. Another punch - miss. Uppercut - miss. He tried taking the man from the side - miss. Sweat dripped from his brow. His father's insults hung at the back of his mind, picking at his already crippling determination. Aiming for his mentor's legs - Haise simply jumped over him. Nothing.

He was livid. With each miss, his attacks became more desperate, looking for any sort of contact. Another run and miss. He wanted to cry. A wildly flung punch that missed its target. And another, but nothing stuck.

And he was running out of stamina. Shit.

"Find a pattern."

Shirazu only swung harder, aiming for that asshole's face.

"Find a weak spot."

But the boy ignored the advice.

"Destroy the foundation."

His eyes were hot. That was the best way to explain it. And he couldn't take it. Without out warning, his knees buckled, panting, because what do you know, he can't even fucking land a hit. He had no control over anything. He could have sworn Haise was laughing at him, that or planning to kick Shirazu from the program. Hell, even Mutsuki was doing well.

"Shirazu."

He couldn't look at him, not with his face so hot and his skin crawling. He fucking failed, couldn't do anything right, just like his shitty father said. But that didn't stop Hasie from kneeling down in front of him. "Breathe, and get back up."

Why even bother? He was just going to screw up again.

"Stand up." Sasaki stood, putting out his left hand (as he kept his right behind his back, as if to rub it in Shirazu's face). Of course, Sasaki would have to pick him up because he couldn't do it himself. But in spite of his frustration, Ginshi took his mentor's hand who carefully held the boy's hand, softly bringing him to his feet. His father's grip was never that gentle.

"Try again. Find your opponent's weak spot."

Taking a deep breath, Shirazu studied his opponent. He attacked, but this time watching. Haise was fast, that was for sure. But using only one hand . . . His right side was left open, and his balance would be sightly off.

He could do this.

He came at Sasaki's right which the man expected, and started to move. Just as Haise lift his foot, Shirazu predicted where he would land and sweep kicked just as Haise touched down, but Sasaki only caught himself with his left hand. Shirazu kicked out again.

A fixed pattern. Destroy the foundation.

The same kind of dodges. Ruin his steps. And so the two went at it again, dodging and punching, but this time Shirazu calculated. Shirazu didn't say anything about not using your surroundings to your advantage. He cornered the two-toned man, and with this time thought-out strength and technique, he crossed over his body, aiming not at Sasaki's face, but for his right shoulder. Knocking the man back, he prepared to sweep him off his feet, but Haise thought otherwise. Using the wall, the man kicked off, knocking Shirazu to the ground and still managing to land on his feet.

They kept at it for hours with only the light from the far window to show them the passing hours. Welts would heal over minutes later, and sweat would dry. Things were perfected on the way as well, as Haise would tell him to raise his elbow, bend his knees more, and so forth. What first was a fight, a challenge, became training.

Of course, in the end Shirazu couldn't beat him. At some point, the boy collapsed, and boy did he dread it. A small part of him hoped Sasaki forgot about the little bet. But this was Sasaki Haise he was talking about.

Seeing how Shirazu couldn't stand, Haise grabbed their water bottles before joining him on the floor. Though Sasaki's breath remained even, sweat damped his forehead. He smirked before saying, "I win."

"Y-yah," the boy croaked, then thanking as Haise handed over the water bottle. "I guess it's too late to back out. . . " Shit. He really didn't think it would be this hard just to knock the guy over, especially when Haise could only use one hand. This day sucked more and more, and really, he could cry if his father's words weren't ringing in his ears. He learnt quickly never to give his father the satisfaction of seeing him cry, and instead bit his cheek."I never had a chance, did I?" he asked then immediately regretted it. Of course, he had no chance. Look at him, he got his ass handed to him.

Haise hummed. "Don't worry, you will soon. . . So about that question."

Shit. Nah, he could get through this. It wasn't like his family wasn't in police reports - noise complaints, DUI, assault even. All of it would be on record, and all of it would be in Haise's hands. So really, he should have expected this much earlier. If Shirazu became a liability while out in the field, there's no saying what consequences their may be, as he would put his team or civilians in danger. Sasaki had to know their weaknesses, anything that could set them off . . . "Yes?"

"Hmm . . . Would you ever consider bringing your siblings around the chateau sometime?"

. . . What? "What?"

"You told me you had siblings right? I was thinking about doing a dinner with Arima and Akira and whoever's relatives. I know Saiko wanted to see her brother, and Tooru's foster mother wanted to come by and see what the Quinx program is like. I figured your siblings would like to know what you've been up to. Plus, this place needs some living up."

He still didn't understand. "What?"

And of course, Haise wouldn't call him stupid or run out of patience. Instead, he smiled warmly. "It would be nice to meet your siblings, maybe get to know you guys better." Shirazu didn't miss the man excluding his father.

"Why? You already know about them. You have my file."

And again, Haise smiled. Unlike his father's, it was sincere. "Only what I had to know, like health reports and training. I wanted to get to know you guys, not just read off a paper."

Oh.

"Besides, I doubt the reports would tell me you like motorcycles."

"Ah, it's a new hobby." Shirazu came back to the same thought: funny. Funny how one of the top members of the CCG, a half-ghoul who already gained a Single White Wing Medal and the Golden Osmanthus Medal at the age of twenty-three, who had Arima Kishou on speed dial, would respect his student's space so much that he would go against protocol and not read their files. Funny how Sasaki Haise acted nothing like how Shirazu knew men to be. He wasn't brash or angry, a drunk or cold-hearted ass. But instead, Haise proved everything he knew wrong. Men didn't treat him so kindly or gently. His father never took interest in his hobbies.

Funny how quickly Sasaki Haise became Sassan and secretly Papan. While Saiko considered Haise like a mother, Shirazu saw him as he wished his own father was. He was strong but gentle, respected yet humble, engaged with his kids in spite of his work load or how probably boring it was to watch Shirazu tighten screws and test the same functions over and over for hours. In spite of how angry Shirazu got (and boy, could he scare people), Sassan never looked at him differently. Never did he turn away from him liked all the other adults in his life - his teachers, his mother, the neighbors, his father, even his friends from school. People abandoned him and his siblings who he began raising himself as soon as they were born.

And then came along Sassan, the man who cooked, filled out paperwork until two in the morning, and trained four screwed up kids, loved them like his own though being only three years older.

They were lucky. For once Shirazu Ginshi was lucky.

Shirazu's a good kid . . . I'll be over here sobbing if you need me.

Question: Favorite line from the Tokyo Ghoul universe (TG, TG:Re, TG:Jack, one-shots, whatever else)? My personal favorite line is either when Tuskiyama told Kaneki, "I'm not going to protect you by being your shield or armor, but I'll be the dagger hidden below your pillow" or during the torture scene when Kaneki says, "I could hear someone laughing off in the distance - It was me." Like ow, there went my heart.

I'll hopefully update by the beginning of Christmas break. Please leave a comment/review!