This is a revised version of my story, with some minor editings here and there. More importantly, I changed the tense I used, for reasons I think most of you already know. Hopefully, it will make for smoother reading. Enjoy. ^_^

Chapter 1- THE BEGINNING

White sheets and curtains. Doctors and nurses in white. That was my first impression of hospitals. My first impression of anything in my life, for that matter. It was a colour (or perhaps non-colour) that I found myself unconsciously staying away from for the next ten years. In fact, I went to the other extreme and dress myself in black or dark colours most of the time.

I am an orphan. Many would call that tragic, but it seems that fate did not abandon me after all and I was adopted by a wealthy businessman, Takeda-san, after my parents died in a car accident. At least, that was what I was told happened to them. I woke up in a hospital a day after my sixth birthday with no memory of anything before that moment. Takeda-san told me that he was my father's partner in a firm they set up together and they had been close friends since college. Since I was all alone, he decided to adopt me. He took over sole ownership of the firm, but I was still left with a considerable inheritance.

Uncle Takeda was a widower and had only one daughter, Takeda Hina and we grew up together - the typical childhood sweethearts, I suppose. Hina... she's a sweet girl, pretty, kind and totally in love with me. She have always wanted to be my bride and in one of those role-playing games we used to play when we were children, I promised to marry her. It might be a promise of a child, but it was a serious promise for her, and as we grew up, it became a natural course of event. Of course I would be marrying her. Never mind that I never felt the way she felt for me. I never felt that way about any other girl either and Hina was the one girl in my life who was a constant presence. I knew her better than I knew anyone else and we have been together for almost my whole life (the life I can remember anyway). It just seemed natural that we date and as soon as we came back from our first date, Uncle Takeda was already talking about announcing our engagement. He was pleased, of course. He knew me and knew I would take care of his daughter.

I knew Hina would make a good wife for me and I accepted the fact that she would always be by my side and we would be married one day. But it was still many years away. We were to wait till we both graduate from college, so it was not something I trouble myself over. Still, sometimes, at odd moments (and for some strange reason, when I caught sight of a full moon), I found myself wondering if there could be something more for me. I didn't know it then, but my destiny was just beginning to unfold.

My 18th birthday was unremarkable, except that Hina-chan insisted on having a proper celebration. I stopped celebrating birthdays years ago, but I guess the first birthday after graduating from high school was an occasion for celebration. From Hina's point of view anyway. I didn't care one way or the other. But that night I turned 18 was when the dreams started. A girl in a long white gown, face always obscured in a fog, appealing to me desperately to find her the ginzuishou. I probably could have ignored that- blame it on the champagne I drank or something- but when I woke up suddenly after the dream, I found myself wearing a tuxedo, complete with a top hat and cane, standing on the rooftop. I did not even know how I got there. I was lucky that it was it was 3am in the morning and no one saw me.

After that, it was the same dream every night until I finally broke down and decided to get her what she wanted. Whether it was so that she would leave me alone or to know if she was somehow connected to my forgotten past, I did not know at first. In any case, it was the start of my life as a thief. Of course, though most label me as that, I did not keep any of the jewels that I stole. I had no need of them once I ascertained that they were not what I was looking for. I left them (those that were not intercepted by Sailor V anyway) in different police stations where they were then returned to the rightful owners. The media simply chose not to broadcast that fact. Or perhaps the police did not reveal that fact, to maintain their reputation and not seem incompetent. In any case, I was branded as a thief till the end.

Sailor V was another story. From the very first, she seemed to know of me and thwarted my attempts several times. Of course, she did not gain the upper hand all the time. She seemed to know who I was and that was something I was not going to let slide. I could not afford to be caught. Though to give her credit, she never did make much effort to catch me, just to get me to return the jewels. Still, two could play the game and it was one of those times that I discovered her real identity. Idol singer Aino Minako. That was a surprise. Still, it did not mean I was going to reveal her identity to the world. It was simply a leverage and she knew it too. Unless she exposed me, I was going to let her be. After all, as I well knew, we all have our secrets.

The scenes from this chapter is taken from Episodes 1-6 of the PGSM Live Action.

Chapter 2 - FIRST SIGHT

3 October 2003. Friday. That was the day I first met Tsukino Usagi. We didn't fall in love at first sight. Far from it. I was at the Renaissance Hall to check out a jewelry show by a famous jewel designer, Osaka Mayumi, that would be held there the next day. I couldn't let such a chance go by. The Ginzuishou might be there, no matter how unlikely the possibility.

I was just passing by some clothes rack when I bumped into her. She was in her school uniform and at that time, looked like any other typical middle school girl to me. The only thing striking about her was her unusual hairstyle, which made me notice her a bit more than I usually would, but did not hold my attention for long. I was quite sarcastic as per usual and we certainly didn't leave each other with a good impression. If not for the later events, we probably would part as strangers and never give each other a single thought for the rest of our lives.

Fate intervened though.

The next day was the first time I saw Sailor Moon. I couldn't make her out at all. What kind of person was she? Dressed in a sailor suit, not unlike the school uniform I saw a girl wearing just the day before, but flitting past the youma's attacks like a gazelle. Her impossible leaps and bounds, and finally, a surge of tremendous energy from a slender rod destroyed the youma in a shorter time than I thought possible. I was mesmerized.

I had already checked the jewels, deeming them of no significance and was about to go back when I saw her battling the youma. Hiding behind a pillar, I watched the whole battle unfold before me. She seemed not unlike an avenging angel, at least until she suddenly started jumping up and down, congratulating herself on her success. The image I had was dispelled at once. I could not help but smile though. Her exuberance was delightful. There were certainly worse things than a mini-skirted heroine saving the day, even if she did behave more like a teenager than a superhero.

I was about to leave when a flash caught my eye. A jagged crystal was flying straight at her and she, like the proverbial deer caught in the headlights, was shocked into a rigid stance. I did not think. I simply acted to save her, shoving her out of harm's way. Seemed that despite her saving the day, I was going to be the knight in shining armour after all. The look of awe in her eyes told me as much and I left the Hall somehow in a lighter mood than I usually would be after yet another failed mission. It was the first of our many encounters.

We met several times over the next few weeks, both in our civilian and non-civilian forms. It was as if, after establishing the initial connection, the pull of fate was strengthened. The threads of destiny spared no effort in binding us tighter and tighter by throwing us together all the time in different situations.

Of course, I was probably reading too much into it. After all, we, and the Dark Kingdom were after the same things and a perfectly logical explanation was that we met each other all the time because we were both in the same area so as to find the Ginzuishou/ fight the enemy (which amounted to the same thing anyway).

It was during one of those encounters that we first learned each other's name. I was at the PGS Cultural School Ceramic Art Exhibition, after seeing a photo on the newspaper from an article about the exhibition. I spotted the lecturer in charge of the exhibition wearing a necklace with a pendant that looked as if it might be the Ginzuishou and I went to check it out. I dropped my name tag along the corridor though and of course, Usagi was the one to find it. It was such moments like this that made me question logical explanations.

"Chijou Ei." She pronounced my name wrongly.

I snorted in disbelief that anyone her age could have gotten the kanji wrong, but that was simply very Usagi.

Tsukino Usagi. It was a name that might have sounded ridiculous for anyone else, but... how fitting for her. Still, to be perverse, and I admit, just a bit aggravated that she had gotten my name wrong, I called her "Piggy". I was like that sometimes. This part of my character just slipped out without my notice at odd moments. Like a mischievous imp that could not be caged. Despite this, and notwithstanding the fact that we were pretty much still strangers, her name somehow stayed in my mind.

As Tuxedo Kamen, I took on a role as her protector, even though I told myself on several occasions that I should have nothing to do with them. My main mission was to find the Ginzuishou and stop the dreams that haunted me every night. More vitally, I needed to find out what was so important about those dreams and if it had anything to do with my forgotten past. Rationally, I knew that I would hardly have anything to do with such matters at such a young age, but the six years of blankness still worried me, no matter how much I tried not to care. I wondered if there was some dark secret in my past that was hidden by my memory loss and the dreams were my subconscious trying to reveal that to me. No matter how implausible, these thoughts lingered and being who I was, I had to analyze and probe. It was no use telling me to leave things be. It's simply not in my nature.

However, in spite of everything, I could not help myself. Something about Sailor Moon drew me in and I could not just stand by and watch her get hurt. There was no reason for it. It was just not possible for me. It seemed almost programmed in me to protect her. Not that she needed much saving, especially after the other senshi joined her in battle. She could take care of herself quite well, that much I could see. She was a natural fighter and watching her battle the youmas with the other senshi was almost like watching a beautifully choreographed, if deadly, dance. Still, the occasional time I was able to help, such as assisting her out of that sub-space, made me more determined to stay close. And the more I watched, the more she rose in my estimation.

She was beautiful, of course, but that was a given. All the senshi were beautiful. But even then, she was more than that for me. I respected her courage and admired her selflessness, but looking back, it was her sunny nature and optimism that appealed the most to me. She was able to see beauty in everything, no matter how bad things were. I had to smile at the memory of that day when we fell off a building together. I was at Zaibatsu Sakuraki's birthday party to see if the Blue Crystal she was debuting was in fact the Ginzuishou and as usual, was duly involved in the senshi's battle. Sailor Moon's dive to save the crystal threw her off-balance and I had watched in horror as she was about to plunge down seventy storeys.

NO!!!

I had thrown myself after her and caught her just in time but the impact of her fall made it impossible to haul her up. It was in fact, pulling me down as well.

"It's no good. Just let me go." She was characteristically selfless. But it was an impossible demand. I could not let her go. I chose not to question why. Instinctively, I knew the answer to that was not one in which I was ready for. Might never be ready for.

As I was falling with her, oddly, I was at peace. I was plunging to my death and all I could think about was that she was with me. I only regretted that I could not save her. I guess I should have known better. Super heroes do not die so easily. A soft warm glow encased us and instead of plummeting to the ground, we drifted instead. While I was still shocked by the turn of events, she was already past that, joy emanating from her very being as she sang a popular song that I often heard on radio those days. She did not even seem fazed by the experience and instead was entranced by the beauty surrounding her. The quintessential optimist, as opposed to me, the eternal pessimist. Her singing might be just average, but I could not help but smile at her infectious enthusiasm. It was what made her song beautiful.

As we touched the ground, her endearing apology had made me smile again. She just saved me and instead of expecting thanks, she was apologizing. Only she would do something like that and sounded utterly sincere about it. It delighted and annoyed me all at once. I did not need to like her more than I already did. I had a mission after all, a very important one, and I could not afford to keep being distracted from it. Which probably accounted for the sardonic and slightly harsh tone I took later on as Luna questioned me about my identity and motives. It was a question I was not even sure I had answers to, and it reminded me that Sailor Moon and I were searching for the same thing.

"As long as we search for the same thing, perhaps we're enemies."

I told Luna that and that was going to be my mantra as well. I needed to keep this fact firmly in mind. I might feel compelled to protect her all the time but I was not going to let it affect my primary goal.

Still... Enemies.

Why did that one word pain me though?

The scenes from this chapter are taken from Episodes 7-9 of the PGSM Live Action.

Chapter 3 REVELATION

It seemed that one second was all it took to drastically change my view of the world.

Motoki had called me, asking me to go to the amusement park with him, with some other girls. Normally, amusement parks were not my kind of place but with my nocturnal activities and involvement with senshi battles, I had not seen him for quite some time. It was nice to have a change of pace at times, to let go of the mission for a moment. Motoki's cheerfulness certainly could help me with that. He normally lifts my brooding thoughts with his inane remarks and that was why we get along so well, despite our opposing natures. It was impossible to feel depressed with Motoki around.

In any case, I learned later on that the whole event was supposed to be centred on Usagi and Motoki. From Makoto's hint, it seemed that Usagi liked Motoki. I had no problem with that and I could see that they were having fun. Usagi especially, was going through all the rides in the park with a child-like abandon that was rather infectious.

Still, I did not see them together. It was not jealousy. Certainly not that. I prided myself on my observation skills and a rather good judge of character. Motoki had been my good friend for a long time and even though I knew him as a loyal and dependable person, I had to admit it, he could be too enthusiastic and emotional.

For an 18-year old almost-man, he was impossibly naive. If they really did become a couple, it would seem more like children getting together, I supposed. I could not imagine them in a more mature relationship. They were just too alike. Motoki needed someone to calm him down, someone more rational and rock-solid to keep his feet planted firmly on the ground. He needed someone to balance him out, not aggravate his over-excited tendencies and Usagi, without a doubt, fell into the second category.

But I wasn't going to get involved. It was none of my business and the most I would do was to drop a hint to my somewhat obtuse friend on Usagi's feelings. I was fairly sure he had not realized it at all.

The Mirror World was where my world fell apart. I lost Makoto in the maze and found Usagi instead. After our usual tiff, I concentrated on getting us out and finding Motoki. Without thinking, I had grabbed her hand so that we would not become separated too. Her hand was soft and warm in mine. It was also tiny compared to mine and I suddenly felt a surge of protectiveness. I shrugged it off though. I was probably around Sailor Moon too much and my protective tendencies had gone into overdrive.

As we neared the exit of the maze, I went off alone to make a final check on the route we were to take. I did not want to risk going deeper into the maze. When I came back though, I heard the words.

"Moon Prism Power, Make Up!"

It was with disbelief that I watched the scene unfold before me. As I watched Usagi transform into a senshi... into Sailor Moon, something shifted in the fundamentals of my universe in that instant. My memories of Sailor Moon overlapped with the slight girl in front of me. It was surreal.

When she ran off, I ran after her. Despite the overwhelming-ness of it all, I understood all too well that another battle was at hand. And I wanted to protect her. I flung myself in the path of the energy blast meant for them - Sailor Moon and Jupiter - and was injured in the process. I was lucky that even though I did not have offensive powers like the senshi (at least none that I know of) besides speed and instinctive fighting skills, I seemed to have enough magic to be somewhat indestructible, though of course, not totally that. It would be hard to defend myself or protect her otherwise. Besides, I healed faster than most as well.

As I started to walk away though (as per my style), Sailor Moon was her usual sweet self and bandaged my injured hand using her handkerchief. Pink with prints of hearts all over. How Usagi. It got easier by the second to treat them both as the same person. In fact, I could not comprehend how I did not know before. Once I knew, the similarities in features and personality were so obvious they were practically screaming to be recognized. Which brought me to another problem I previously held at bay but was no longer able to do so.

Before that, I could still treat Sailor Moon as a magical superhero, whom I might have some fantasies or unrealistic dreams about. She was someone unattainable and not someone who could intrude in my normal civilian life. And so, I could choose to ignore any feelings I had. But after that, it was no longer possible. She and Usagi had merged into one. Into a girl that was within easy reach. Someone I could be with. If I was not with Hina. And that last thought doused me in cold water.

I was with Hina and nothing could change that. I was an engaged man, for crying out loud, and I was not free. Nor would I ever be free. I owed that to her and to her father, who took me in and brought me up. My duty and responsibility lie with Hina. Not with some other girl, not even a girl that I was beginning to realize I was liking too much for my peace of mind. In the confines of my home, I decided it was a moot point anyway. It was not as if anything was going to happen between us. She had a mission and I had mine. I kept her handkerchief though, reasoning that I might be able to return it to her someday. Folding it carefully, I slipped it into a drawer.

The next few weeks, I spent on keeping a tight lid on my emotions.

It was then I decided on my next course of action. I knew both the Dark Kingdom and the Sailor Senshi were also looking for the Ginzuishou, and they had far more advantages than I had. I had to even up the score a bit if I were to stand a fighting chance. Allying with the media seemed reasonable.

And, it worked! I had the whole nation helping me locate the Ginzuishou. It just worked a bit too well. I certainly hadn't anticipated the frenzy that accompanied the search. Nor the multiple Tuxedo Kamens that turned up. Now, that was annoying. I thought I was supposed to be unique!

In the end, after all the fuss, I was still nowhere near finding the Ginzuishou, but at least there was one bright spot. Watching Sailor Moon save my imposter was one of the most entertaining things ever. Her lack of confidence in my stealth exasperated me a little (as if I would be seen that easily!) but her exuberance and determination to save "me" caused a warm glow to spread somewhere in the vicinity of my chest. I did not expect the imposter to molest her though and I almost dived in to kick him away when she did the exact same thing herself. The unexpected surge of violence that rose up in me took some time to control but I managed to speak up in time to warn her to transform to escape the police. Then I swooped in and led her out of harm's way. I really enjoyed that part.

"I must look stupid," she said after we were safe. She looked adorable. I smiled. I always seem to want to smile in her presence.

"I want to know who I am," I revealed to her. For once, I wanted to be honest with her, as honest as I could anyway. The dreams were too private to share with anyone, even her.

"I don't even know what your face looked like." She wanted to see me, my true self and for a second, I wavered before reason came back.

"This way is better." It truly was better. She should not be involved in my life more than she already was. Nor should I be in hers.

The scenes from this chapter are taken from Episodes 11-12 of the PGSM Live Action.

Chapter 4 FACE OFF

Zoisite. Who was he? Did he know me? Of my past? Of my dreams? Of why I was haunted by them? Questions upon questions crashed upon me that night but it had been too late to find out anything from him. He had disappeared, probably incapacitated by Venus' direct beam shot at him. I was too late to stop her. Though except for wanting some answers, why I had felt an instinctual reaction to stop her was beyond me. He was the enemy after all. Someone who wanted to hurt the senshi, hurt Sailor Moon and that was something I could not allow. But when he faded away, I felt pain. As if someone dear to me was taken from me.

It started in the battle that took place at the I.O.Z Hall. I reached there just in time to prevent Zoisite from brainwashing Sailor Moon, but as I gripped his hand, a shock of recognition had passed through me. He seemed to know me as well, and just as suddenly, I was in the dream again.

It was more potent than the ones I had while sleeping. I was almost there, instead of just being an observer. The images were still indistinct and hazy but I saw the girl in my dreams again, and she sounded clearer than ever. This time though, I realized that she was a princess. I did not even know how I knew that. I just did. But the most astonishing thing was that I saw myself standing next to her in a formal attire. That had never happened before. And I was aware that I was not alone in this vision. Zoisite was there too. He was seeing everything I was seeing. It lasted a moment before we were thrown apart from the energy.

"Who are you?" He demanded. But there was almost a kind of recognition on his face.

I could not answer him then. I needed answers myself.

The images haunted me for days after that. My brain was overworked, exploding with the possibilities. I couldn't shake off the feeling that Zoisite and I were connected somehow, impossible as it seemed.

Then, Sailor V or Sailor Venus as she called herself, revealed herself as the princess. I could not put my finger to it, but I knew something was not right. At least, she was probably not my princess but I could not be totally sure. After all, how many princesses could there be? Especially a princess connected to the Sailor Senshi. It could not be that much of a coincidence. Yet I could not reconcile her to the princess in my dreams. Or maybe it was simply an overload of information and my brain had finally shut down. In any case, when I saw Zoisite gunning for her, I swiftly stepped in.

I could not attack though. Neither could he.

Venus had taken that opportunity to blast him with her energy beam and he faded into nothingness, leaving me with two words.

"Master Endymion."

A strangely familiar name. A name I should know but didn't.

Was that my name?

All I knew was, it was probably the key to my memories.

The scenes from this chapter are taken from Episode 13 of the PGSM Live Action.

Chapter 5 SHIN (Part One)

The day started out innocently enough until Motoki interrupted my peaceful morning with a frantic call. Kamekichi was missing. It was a serious enough matter to rouse me out of my musings about Zoisite. That turtle was Motoki's life, laughable as it might sound. I had to help him find it. Reasoning that a turtle could not move that fast, I scouted around the neighbourhood. By pure luck, a mother taking her child out had seen a man feeding a turtle near his home. Her child had been interested in the turtle.

I got the address of the man from her and went back to fetch Motoki. Usagi was there. I supposed I should not have been surprised. She and her friends always seemed to be there. After I knew about her identity, it hadn't been hard to figure out who the other Sailor Senshi were. I assumed that the Crown Karaoke must be their usual meeting place or something. In any case, Usagi tagged along with us. Her caring and helpful nature appeared to know no bounds.

We found Kamekichi all right, but Shin, the man who found the turtle was an enigma. He seemed to know us and so, Usagi and I stayed behind for tea.

"Actually I don't remember my name... I lost my memory. I don't know who I am." With this admission, I was hooked. He was like me. Actually, he was in a worse state than I had been. I just lost six years of memory. He lost about twenty years. He did not even want to step out of the house.

"I do not need to remember," he declared without conviction.

I could empathise. I remembered the feeling of loss and confusion, the liking of the constant. The hating of change. But I had overcame that and I was sure he could too, if he wanted.

Usagi, ever the helpful girl, immediately took it upon herself to help him regain his memory. I wanted to help him too, but I didn't think Usagi would know how to help. It was not that simple. Besides, I did not want to force the issue. From experience, I knew that he had to be ready, to come to terms with himself before anyone could help him, and he did not seem to be ready. So, I followed Usagi on her quest in case she caused more trouble. That was what I told myself anyway. If I were to be truthful to myself, I would admit that I had not wanted her to be hurt. Helping someone regain their memories was not something she could accomplish within the short term, and with her selfless nature and ability to feel deeply about things, she might blame herself for not succeeding. I wanted to be there if that happened. She was a friend of sorts, after all.

Spending time with her was surprisingly entertaining. Her emotions were so transparent and I enjoyed watching every expression that crossed her face. Even our usual bickering was more teasing in nature, especially after I found that I could accurately tell what she was thinking through her body language. She was that kind of rare person whose thinking and speech corresponded. There was no mask on her face. Unlike me. That thought sobered me a little but it was our first time together alone as Mamoru and Usagi after I knew her identity and I was eager to compare my memory of Sailor Moon with the small slip of a girl before me. How similar or how different they were. She seemed more vulnerable and I felt my protective instincts rising up again, even though there was no danger near.

After walking through dozens of stores (that girl really had an endless store of energy), she finally decided to give up. She did not have the money to buy the things she wanted and I could tell that she felt disappointed and guilty even though she had no reason to feel that way. Shin was not even her friend, just a stranger we met a few hours before, but she was already putting her whole heart and soul into it. She looked so despondent that I desperately wanted to cheer her up. She should be smiling, not sighing. Without thinking, I offered to drive her to a nearby beach so that she could collect some sand and seashells.

It was only when she climbed onto my bike that I realized she was the first girl besides Hina who had sat on it. I never allowed any others to ride with me. It was not a line of thought that I wanted to pursue. Yet as I sped past the streets, I acutely felt her behind me. Her whole body was pressed against my back and I felt her every tremble. Perhaps from the cold or fear of the speed. Her hands were clasped at my waist and I could not help but revel in her touch. I wanted the journey to continue forever. But of course, it had to end.

After she collected the items she needed, I decided to warn her ahead.

"Remembering the past isn't that simple. There's probably a part of him that's scared to know himself." I did not know whether I was telling her about Shin or revealing something about myself. Part of me wanted her to understand me while the other part wanted to stay silent. The two parts were in constant war with each other. So after that, I hastily covered up my slip with my usual sarcasm. She reacted rather predictably and I softened my tone.

"I know you can't help it, but... don't be too disappointed." It was my original aim after all.

I did not want to crush her hopes but I had to prepare her for that eventuality. I did not want her to feel guilty or too depressed.

We spent the rest of the time either in companionable silence or occasional bickering. It was one of the most relaxing day I had in a long time. My spirits was considerably lightened and mood much improved over the past few days when I had been worrying about Zoisite and Venus. For the first time in a long while, I was at peace.

"My way of saying thanks for this," she spoke shyly as she offered me half a bun. It was at that point, sitting by the breakwaters, looking into her half-raised eyes through her long lashes that I suddenly realized something.

I had gone past liking.

I was in love with Tsukino Usagi.

It was the best and worst thing that could happen.

The scenes from this chapter are taken from Episode 13-14 of the PGSM Live Action.

Chapter 6 SHIN (Part Two)

I went to Shin's house the next morning to pass him the items Usagi bought and collected. I was still reeling from my epiphany the day before, but as I tossed and turned in bed the night before, I decided one thing. I was not going to do anything about it. I couldn't. Hina was the one I was supposed to love and I was going try to do just that for the rest of my life. My obligations were to her. She deserved that from me, her future husband.

In any case, Usagi did not see me in that way. I was probably just an annoying jerk to her, though the day before did prove we could spend time together without arguing all the time. As for Sailor Moon, I would continue protecting her. And also continue to compete with the senshi for the Ginzuishou. So it was an impossible situation anyway. It was not as if I was in too deep. I could rein in my feelings. I had to. I had to believe I could do it. And I was not going to be melodramatic about it.

I took a deep breath and gritted my teeth as I stood before Shin's house. For the moment, I concentrated on Shin.

"I know what's it like to be afraid to remember. I was the same at first. But I can't run from myself. Even without my memory. That's why... I'm going to keep trying to find myself."

I knew I could not really be of assistance, but hoped my personal experience could help a little. My search was probably much more complicated than his, what with princesses, crystals, youmas and magical girls, but the theory should be the same.

His answer puzzled me though. "Perhaps what I'm truly afraid of is of losing myself, the part of me that likes these things... if I said I wasn't human, would you believe me?"

It seemed almost prophetic. After those words, Shin did lose himself. A strange wind whipped out of nowhere and I was thrown to the floor. Shin collapsed as well. I tried to get to him but the gale in the house was too strong. I did not understand what was going on, but I was sure it was nothing good. There was a stench of evil to it. Then I saw Shin's eyes. Youma. They looked like the eyes of the youmas the senshi had been battling, filled with mindless hatred.

As I crouched against the wall, protecting myself from the punishing force of the wind, I suddenly thought of her.

Usagi.

Usagi was coming to Shin's house at any moment.

I have to stop her.

Painfully and almost excruciatingly slowly, I made my way to the door. I shoved the door open with my whole body and finally managed to get it open. Casting a helpless look at Shin who was curled up in agony on the floor, I stumbled out of the house. I could not help him. My priority was to first save Usagi.

I was in time. Spying her at the gate, I just managed to intercept her before she reached the house itself. I was relieved when she accepted my lies easily and even more so when she received a call that made it impossible for her to stay any longer. I wanted her out of harm's way.

As soon as she was out of my sight, I rushed back to the house. It was too quiet, a contrast to the few minutes before. The unnatural storm was over. In place of Shin, was a man dressed in a similar attire to the Shitennou I had been battling. Yet there was a subtle difference. With him, I could feel his deadly power. His whole stance spoke of a readiness to battle. I had the distinct feeling he was more powerful than the rest of them combined. I knew then that I was facing my most dangerous opponent. I was right. Even as I got ready to defend myself, he attacked so swiftly I did not have time to react. Then he disappeared.

It was then I felt Sailor Moon in danger. I seemed to have developed a link with her during the past weeks. It was not very strong but it was there. I was able to sense it when she was battling youmas and I had found that if I concentrated hard enough, I could feel a slight pull which would lead me to her. That was how I managed to get to her in the I.O.Z Hall before Zoisite could harm her. I did not know why this link had appeared and could only assume that it was part of my magical abilities. Something that came along with the transformation, speed, healing abilities and fighting skills. Whatever the case, it was convenient.

After transforming into Tuxedo Kamen, I sprinted to where she was. The Juban Performance Hall. I was too late. Shin, or more fittingly, Kunzite, had already gotten to her. I was not fast enough. As Sailor Moon fell, I could only stare in horror. For a moment, I thought she had died. I wanted to die. Then, as I rushed to her side, I realized she was breathing. Relief overwhelmed me as she stood up on her own.

It was then I saw her eyes. I was in a nightmare. It was the exact same eyes I had seen earlier. With Shin.

No... no... no!!!

"Sailor Moon," I whispered. I refused to believe what happened to Shin would happen to her.

I could only retreat as she advanced towards me, eyes filled with hatred. My mind was a blank. It was something even my worst nightmares could not conjure up.

Then she stopped.

Her eyes returned to normal. She returned to normal.

I thanked all the gods I never believed much in.

"Are you really fine?" I still worried though. Her hatred-filled eyes were a sight I would never be able to forget. Was she really going to be able to suppress the evil energy?

That worry bothered me all through the New Year holiday, though I assumed she was fine since I did not feel anything from my link to her. So, I found myself at the Crown Karaoke the next day, my feet unconsciously leading me to where I wanted to be, instead of to the library where I originally intended to go. I promised myself I would take one look to ensure she was fine and walk away. Instead, I saw her slumped over her friend, Ami, a slight girl who was obviously having difficulty supporting Usagi's weight.

As I rushed over to help, my worst fears were confirmed when I glimpsed the hair on the back of her neck. She was losing the battle with the demon within. She was going to change into a youma. I had to stop that from happening. I did not know how to but I was not going to leave her at that point. On impulse, I offered to carry her back home.

As we walked to Ami s home, I felt Usagi getting colder and colder. She was unconscious and entirely limp. It was a Usagi I was not used to. She was always full of energy and life. It was almost as if she were dying. I could not shake off the grim thoughts.

As I left Ami's apartment after settling Usagi there, I stationed myself near the building. I wanted to be there if anything happened. Usagi was turning into a youma. I felt useless. The only thing I could do was wait.

Minutes turned to hours. Each minute was a torture. Then, as the first stars appeared in the night sky, I sensed Sailor Moon in danger. At almost the same moment, Ami ran past me. What I feared had happened. I shot off in an instant, following the pull. I was going to be there for her.

She was not going to turn into a youma.

I was desperate to believe that. I would believe that.

And by some miracle, my wish came true.

When I got there, Sailor Moon was there, not Usagi. She did not turn into a youma. I did not even have time to feel the relief and joy when Kunzite attacked. I blocked it. I was not going to let him hurt her a second time. Once was more than enough.

As we pitted our strength against each other, I could feel the dark power emanating from him. He was truly no longer Shin. The man who had liked white flowers, greenery and the sea was gone. Or at least hidden so deep that he could not be found. After Sailor Moon blasted her power at him, he disappeared once again.

Sailor Moon was back. Usagi was back. I smiled.

The scenes from this chapter are taken from Episode 15 of the PGSM Live Action.

Chapter 7 BLOOM

"Breaking news. There was a burglary at idol singer Aino Minako's house last night. Stolen from the house were jewelry and some money..."

Aino Minako. Sailor V. Sailor Venus. Princess. That girl seemed to have multiple identities. I wondered if she was related to the princess in my dreams.

Perhaps, if I ask Sailor Moon?

I put a brake to that train of thought. No. I could not keep on finding excuses to see her. Didn't I already decide to stop my feelings for her? I was not going to break my promise to Hina. I could not let this situation continue. Even if it killed me to stay away.

Then, as if I needed another reminder, I received a call from Uncle Takeda. He and Hina had came back from their overseas trip and were to come home the next day. I was to go over to their house to discuss the formalization of our engagement. Even though we had been privately engaged, we had not announced the news yet.

I panicked.

The wedding seemed much closer than ever. I wondered if he was thinking of pushing forward the date. We had agreed to have the wedding after we both came back from our studies in London. Did he change his mind? My fist clenched. I needed to reassure myself.

"The agreement was by graduation time, right?" I almost choked.

Yes.

I let go of the breath I was holding. I still had time.

Then immediately I was ashamed. I should not be relieved. Hina deserved better. We were going off to London to study in a few weeks, and I would be leaving Usagi behind anyway. Nothing was going change. I needed to get her out of my head. Out of the blue, I remembered that day in the amusement park. She seemed to like Motoki. I felt the first prick of jealousy. I ignored it.

Perhaps, if I encourage Motoki a little... the green-eyed monster reared its head again. I stamped it down.

If she is Motoki's girlfriend, I will have to stop thinking about her that way. Perhaps, in time, as long as I know that she's happy, I will be happy for her as well.

Immediately, I went to the Crown to accomplish just that. Yet when Motoki denied anything between them, and stated that Usagi did not feel that way towards him, I could not help the leap of happiness in my heart. I was beginning to realize my total lack of control over that particular organ. And as if things couldn't get worse, it started doing a little jig when I spotted Usagi coming in with her friends. It was good to see her healthy and cheerful again, a contrast to the last time I saw her at the Crown.

Fortunately, I had perfected the art of looking cool and uninterested over the years, and did not betray my emotions. My mask was perfectly in place. After she shyly thanked me for carrying her that last time though, I quickly went off before my mask could slip. There was something about her that made me want to throw all caution to the wind and face her with my true self. It was simply insane. As was my feelings for her. Just insane.

**********

I still couldn't help myself though, when I received a call from Usagi s friend, telling me that Usagi wanted to meet me at the auction house. How did she get my phone number anyway?

More importantly, I wondered what important thing she wanted to tell me. Has she found out about my identity as Tuxedo Kamen? I reasoned to myself that I needed to meet her, in case of that, not because I wanted to see her again.

Sometimes, I really despised my weak will with regards to her.

**********

It turned out to be nothing. A mistake, as Usagi called it. I was disappointed. I had no reason to stay on. But then, Usagi, with her usual luck, stumbled across the stolen jewelry of Aino Minako. I knew what she was going to do before she even moved and as I had expected, she started to chase after the thieves. I gave an exasperated sigh. I hurried to stop her before she could chase after them. It was not a situation that called for Sailor Moon after all, and how could she, in her normal guise, go up against three ruffians who might be armed? She might be hurt! How was I going to protect her if she persisted on being so careless with her own safety? How was I going to be able to leave for London with a peace of mind?

I was irrationally angry with her.

She needed to learn to leave the dangerous jobs to others. Like the policemen. That was what they were there for.

Unfortunately, the policeman on duty was very dismissive of us. That meant Usagi was not going to be diverted.

"I knew I'd have to do it myself!" She proclaimed indignantly.

"How?" I sighed, exasperated. I was resigned to the fact that I was going to have to take charge. I was certainly not having Usagi go her own way and risk getting hurt, or worse.

"Well, transform into Sailor Moon..." she came to a sudden stop, abruptly realizing what she was saying.

My eyes widened before I quickly put on a cool facade again, feigning ignorance. In my mind though, I was resigned. How typically her.

**********

Executing the plan to get back Aino Minako's jewelry was actually more exhilarating that I expected. It was, in fact, the most fun I had in ages! I had been so focused on the mission those past months and before that, had spent most of my time on studies that it had been a very long time since I did anything I truly enjoyed.

Being with Usagi made me feel very much more alive, even reckless for that moment. I enjoyed every minute, from the smoke bombs to the escape by motorbike, notwithstanding how crazy the whole scheme had been or how unlike my usual serious demeanor. As our laughter filled the air, Usagi exclaimed, "I bet Minako-chan will be so happy!"

I smiled. Once again, she was putting others' happiness before hers.

I was despairing of ever finding a reason to lessen my love for her.

Then, a youma appeared.

Usagi seemed to always find herself in the middle of trouble. We both could not transform in front of each other, and so the situation became dangerous quickly. I made a decision on the spot. Rushing the youma, I propelled it away from Usagi before letting it push me off the railing. I was not going to be hurt much after all, and that left Usagi clear to transform. I knew she could handle a single youma on her own and she did.

In the aftermath, I found myself in a curiously similar situation of being bandaged by Usagi once again. It was another pink handkerchief, though with rabbits this time.

As I looked upon her face, memorizing her every expression, I knew that I was never going to stop loving her. I treasured every stolen moment with her before reality crashed. Even if I had no right to feel that way about her, it was difficult not to want to spend more time with her when I knew that I was not going to be seeing her after I went abroad. That there would be no more connection between us. At that thought, I sat up abruptly and walked to my bike. I had decided that I was not going to let myself wallow in misery. I was just going to have to deal with it.

In the meantime, I had at least a little more time with Usagi and I did not intend to waste it.

The scenes from this chapter are taken from Episode 16-19 of the PGSM Live Action.

Chapter 8 HINA AND USAGI

The next time I saw Usagi, she was standing near my apartment.

And... I was with Hina.

It was out in the open.

Somehow I felt guilty, though obviously, I did not need to. I had not told her about Hina. Mostly because I did not make it a habit to discuss my private life with others, and Usagi and I were not that close in any case. Still, seeing Usagi while Hina was hanging off my arm made for an uncomfortable situation. I wanted to get away as soon as possible.

I thought that she was just passing by. After all, she had walked away without acknowledging me, though evidently, she had seen me. Her expression was one I had not seen before though. It looked... sad. I wondered what had happened. Still, with Hina there, there was nothing I could do. It was perhaps just as well. As I had already decided so many times before, I was not going to be involved in her life.

I did not even contemplate the possibility that she was there to see me. There was no reason for her to.

Since Hina came back from her trip, she had been spending most of her time with me, so my nocturnal activities were almost at a standstill. During that time, she began talking a lot about our future. As I gazed into her face, I wondered not for the first time, why I was not in love with her. She was pretty and intelligent, gentle and demure. Most importantly, she had only eyes for me since young. It should have been so easy to fall in love with her. But I didn't. No matter how much she talked about our marriage, I was not able to see her as my bride.

Marriage was an uncomfortable topic for me and my mind had strayed to Usagi often, no matter how much I tried not to. I kept on reminding myself that I was committed to Hina. I needed to be loyal to my fiancee. I could not betray Hina. I could not hurt her.

And so I went with her, at her request, to survey a church she wanted us to get married in, trying to put my heart to it. As I bowed my head for the prayer, I sincerely prayed that I would be free from the conflict in my heart soon.

Before I could complete my prayer though, we were attacked. I immediately pulled Hina to safety but could not transform in front of her, which very much limited my ability to protect her. Luckily, as the youma caught up to us, the Sailor Senshi arrived. Upon seeing Sailor Moon, I finally gave in to the darkness, trusting her to save all of us.

My last thought before slipping into unconsciousness was that I would always believe in her.

When I woke up, the senshi were gone.

I met Usagi again on Valentine's Day. Hina had dragged me to town, wanting to buy her father a gift. She had already prepared a present for me, something she had gotten on her overseas trip, but wanted to give it to me later that night over a meal she had prepared.

It was there we bumped into Usagi and a young girl, whom Hina identified as a friend of the boy she was tutoring. I focused on Usagi, wondering if she was really feeling sad. She had behaved oddly the last two times we met, near my apartment and on the streets a few days before. Even though she seemed cheerful, I still sensed that something was not quite right with her. She was much too quiet, for one, and her smile had lost its sparkle. I couldn't help but wonder what was wrong. It was not my place to ask though, so I refrained.

Before we left, Hina passed a candy each to Usagi and her young friend. Even though I was still worried about her, the comical aspect of the situation did not escape me. Hina obviously thought of Usagi as a child. And in some ways, I could not deny it, she was very child-like. I could not help smirking, although I could see the irony as well.

A college guy in love with a middle-school girl. It sounded faintly illegal.

After sending Hina to the house of the boy she was tutoring so that she could give him a present, we were on our way home when I heard some noises that sounded like minor explosions. I felt the Sailor Moon's pull at the same time. Youma.

I needed to get to her.

After giving some vague excuses to Hina and asking her to wait for me, I transformed and rushed to where Sailor Moon was, just in time to save her from an attack from the youma.

When the battle was over though, I was surprised with her Valentine's gift to me.

Does she like Tuxedo Kamen? I was both pleased and displeased with the idea.

"Don't you have a person to give that to?"

The conflict within me had made my words came out sharper than I intended. I regretted it almost as soon as the words left my mouth. I did not want to know if she had someone she liked. Even if it was good for me to know, so that I could not hang on to any hope, no matter how tiny. If she did not, that might be worse. I would then continue to hope.

"No, I made a muffler for that person," she stated, blushing.

So she did have someone she liked. I could not breathe for a moment. My heart constricted painfully.

"But I don't think I'll give it to him," she went on, explaining that the person she liked already had someone else.

I wondered if that was why she had looked so peculiar and acted so oddly the past few times I saw her. She must really like him. I felt a sharp pain in my heart. But, if he made her happy, then...

"If you love him, don't give up so easily. You might give it to him one day." I forced myself to say those words. I wanted her to be happy.

Yet my words sounded hollow to myself. Don't give up. Advice from someone who had already given up. It was ironic.

That night, after sending Hina back home after celebrating Valentine's, I turned Sailor Moon's gift over and over in my hand before storing it carefully together with her two handkerchiefs.

Regardless of her feelings for another, I was still going to continue to protect her. For as long as I could. It was all I could do.

The scenes from this chapter are taken from Episode 20-22 of the PGSM Live Action.

Chapter 9 BLISS AND AGONY

It was a surprise to see Usagi again so soon after the previous encounter. The boy Hina was tutoring, Daiichi, had asked us to bring him and his 'girlfriend' to the amusement park for their date. I was amused. Only seven years of age and already having a girlfriend. What a young Casanova, I smirked. Of course, I had agreed to marry Hina at that age. But that didn't count.

Hina had something on though, so at her request, I agreed to act as their 'chaperone'. It was not as if I was busy after all and a day with kids might be what I needed to take my mind off Usagi. And of course, it naturally turned out to be otherwise. That seemed to be the situation with us all the time.

When Usagi arrived with Daiichi's young girlfriend, I was both surprised and elated. Another day alone with Usagi (kids did not count!) was not something I had counted on. It was something I had hoped for though. I could not deny that. Besides, she seemed happier that day, no trace of sadness on her face. Whatever the reason for that, I was glad that she seemed happy to see me too. I was not able to keep a smile off my face that day.

Watching Usagi having fun became one of my favourite activities. Her obvious enthusiasm and ability to make everything seem fun gave me joy.

That day, I was able to put aside all my 18-year old gravity and joined in the games, taking delight in all the activities that I had not participated in ages. Usagi's excitement was contagious. She took part whole-heartedly in everything the kids did with childish abandon, seeming to enjoy herself even more than them. Yet, the way she took care of and interacted with the kids also showed a more mature side of her, a nurturing side that I had not seen before. I had not known that I could love her more.

As we walked down the path, hand-in-hand in a row, I felt a tug in my heart. We looked like a family. I had a sudden vision of us, together, with our children, laughing happily as we strolled together in a park. It was gone in an instant but the vision was so beautiful that my heart had ached for it. I knew it was just my imagination going into overdrive, but I wanted it to be true. So much.

Still, I suppressed it. I did not want my selfish desire to mar our day together. It was a day of pure bliss, but I should have known that things had been going too well for it to last. Hina arrived just as we were taking a break and it went downhill from there.

I was astonished to see Hina, who had gone to the amusement park because her business ended early. The day with Usagi had seemed encased in a bubble, a surreal world where reality could not intrude but Hina's arrival had popped the bubble. Daiichi's innocent declaration of our engagement to Usagi further cemented the reality of it. We could never be.

It was then Usagi started fidgeting nervously. I was so in tune with her by then that I knew something was not right. Her vague excuses before running off confirmed the feeling. It had to be youmas again. I wanted to help. But I did not realise that Makoto was tailing us and she witnessed my transformation. Being who she was and with the situation at that point of time, she did something fairly typical of her.

Punching me.

It hurt. That girl had a vicious streak to her. But the punch did not hurt as much as her words. I provoked it, I knew. She had found out that I knew their real identities. I also as much admitted that I had gotten close to Usagi to make use of her. To find out about the princess and the Ginzuishou. To find out who I was. It was not the whole truth, but it was the only answer I could give. I could not admit to being in love with Usagi.

"You are a scum."

"Never go near her again!"

Her words echoed again and again in my mind the next day. They were like sledgehammers, pounding through my head all day. I was fraught with indecision. Should I heed Makoto's words, or rather, commands... or should I continue to protect Usagi?

Yet, I knew that protecting Usagi was just an excuse to continue to be close to her.

One more month. I had only one more month before I was to go to London. I did not know if I could abandon Usagi and my quest, my past. I did not know if I was able to move forward. If I was able to leave her.

Hina's question finally decided the answer for me. I was in a daze, full of doubts and misgivings when she asked,

"Mamoru, I know you've always been searching for your past. But in the end, if you still don't remember your past, are you really okay keeping your promise to study abroad and marry me? You don't regret that promise to Papa?"

At that moment, it was as if all my misgivings had come to a head. And the answer was clear. It was the only answer that could be.

"It might be better if I don't go after my past." That was my answer to Hina. But the true answer was in my heart. Because if I go after it, I'm sure it would involve Usagi.

I should not come into contact with Usagi anymore. I knew that right from the start but I had let my heart rule my head all those time. It was time for my head to lead. Usagi had someone she liked after all. She would be happier without me around. As for protection, she had her senshi. She did not need me. While I... I had made a promise to Hina and Uncle Takeda. I had to keep that promise. It was time to let Usagi go. From my head. From my heart.

It was the right decision.

I believed that.

The scenes from this chapter are taken from Episode 23-24 of the PGSM Live Action.

Chapter 10 THE TRUTH IS OUT

Just when I decided to forget my past, Zoisite came back into my life. A ghostly apparition (with a piano, no less!) materialized in my house just when I came back from a shopping trip with Hina.

An apparition who once again called me "Master Endymion".

Zoisite.

"I knew I was not mistaken. Master... it is you."

"I want you to remember a time when you were once called Endymion."

So, my speculation was correct. My name had been Endymion. Why couldn't I remember that? Who was he? Why did he know me?

"Quietly let our minds become one." His voice echoed softy.

As the piano strains continued, I felt myself lulled into a kind of dream-like state.

The distant past.

I could almost taste it. It was so close within my grasp... when Hina's voice barged in.

The spell broke, and with a surge of panic, I suddenly remembered that I had left Hina outside the house when I first heard the music, and rushed out to stop Hina from going in. Hina should not know all that. She was not involved in that part of my life and it was going to stay that way.

After I sent her home, I was conflicted once again.

Why now? When I have just decided not to search for my past anymore?

It was bitter to realize that with Zoisite, I might just be able to find the thing I had been looking for; he was the key to my memories, but he had re-appeared too late.

I... had promised Hina and Takeda-san. My life was no longer my own. I decided to cut myself off that part of my life. It was decided.

Fate did not let me off the hook that easily though.

Almost as if on a string, I was led to her again. I did not want to meet her again. It would test my resolution too much. But it was lucky I was there to save her that time.

I was out to dump my tuxedo, a symbolic act for me to cut off the last evidence of my alternate identity when we met on the streets. As I was trying to compose myself at the unexpected encounter, she walked right onto the road!

I did not think. I just rushed to move her out of the way of a massive truck about to hit her. I was furious. If she had been hit... if she had died...

Idiot! The light is still red!

"Why are you calling me an idiot!" she cried. Before looking away in embarrassment at her outburst.

I startled. I did not realize that I had yelled the words out loud. I could never keep a calm and collected front before her. She was aggravating. And looking at her flushed face, my heart pounded. She was... adorable.

I decided to escort her to the Crown, not trusting her to keep herself safe even with that short distance.

Or more probably, I was an addict. Trying to get my last shot of heroin before I quit.

Whatever it was, I gave the excuse of going to see Motoki and went with her. We did not talk but I was very aware of her by my side. I savoured the moment, storing up the image and feelings, for when I could not be by her side.

All too soon, we reached the Crown.

Unexpectedly, Motoki broke the news of my impending departure to Usagi. She looked taken aback and there was a strange expression on her face that I could not decipher. It was as if she was feeling a sense of loss but it couldn't be. Before I could puzzle out what that expression was, Makoto arrived, with a hostile expression directed at me and I was diverted.

Then, she turned away and I did not even get a chance to say goodbye.

Depressed, I went on my original mission when suddenly, a voice captured my attention.

"Master... this way... way..."

Zoisite.

And then, I found myself in the Science Building, in the Planetarium Room.

I did not even know how I got there.

Zoisite was there and as the music played, his voice brought me to a trance once again.

"This is the distant past that we are looking at. The night sky. And the thing that you couldn't stop loving - the Moon. Remember, you are Master Endymion. Before, you fought to protect this planet."

As my eyes closed, I started to remember. Bits and pieces of memory flashed past by mind.

The Moon. An inferno. Princess. Myself with the princess, hand in hand.

Then, another more recent memory intruded.

The first time I saved Sailormoon.

It seemed that even in the trance I was in, my heart refused to see me with another girl.

My eyes snapped open and I broke out of the trance.

"Stop it!" I shouted. I was not about to go through that again. I had made my decision and I was not going through the whole agonizing process again.

With determination, I continued. "I am Chiba Mamoru." That was who I was. I was not Endymion. No matter how much I knew deep down that I was.

"I do not need some surprise past turning up!" With effort, I turned away, from my past, and strode out of the building. It should have ended there, except that Kunzite had turned up. What is it with the Shitennou and their strange fascination with me?

He was no Zoisite though. He wanted to kill me.

As we sparred, I knew I was no match for him. As I had felt instinctively since the first time I saw him, Kunzite was dangerous.

"How sad. Once you were Master Endymion. Now you are this powerless," he mocked before striking me down.

Why am I not surprised? He knows me too. He was probably also from that distant past Zoisite had told me about. A past life?

"It's your fault. You betrayed us and thus this planet was destroyed. I will have my revenge on everyone who's against me. First, Master, will be you!"

Betrayed? Planet destroyed? What is he talking about?

I was confused. Did I really do all that? Inexplicably, I felt guilty. But I was not even been sure what I was guilty about.

I did not have time to think though. He started his attacks almost immediately and I was rendered powerless. Until Sailor Moon showed up, like an avenging angel.

Zoisite appeared too, but like me, he was no match for Kunzite and was defeated quickly. That left Sailor Moon.

Ironic. Our roles changed and she was my protector. Perhaps she never did need my protection. Her power at that instant demonstrated that point amply enough. As she withstood Kunzite's energy blast and was forced down her knees, I feared for her, and struggled to get up to help her. But then, she glowed golden. Her power increased exponentially.

She was glorious.

"Moon Twilight Flash!" With that, Kunzite turned tail and disappeared. I was immensely proud of her but just as immediately, she fell in exhaustion. I stumbled to my feet and struggled to her side, holding her as she tried to catch her breath.

"It's my fault. You covered for me. I'm sorry." It was my fault. I should have been the one protecting her, not she me.

"No." Of course she would not let me blame myself. "More importantly, have you seen this man? He's about as tall as you. His name is Chiba... Mamoru. The enemy might have attacked him! Have you seen him?"

Her face was one of anxiety. Mine was of shock. Luckily my expression was hidden behind my mask.

Why would she be looking for me? How did she know I was here?

Questions buzzed in my mind, and I could only reply, "No."

Her face fell in disappointment, then set in resolve. "I must hurry... and save him!"

She got up with difficulty and started limping away.

"No! The enemy's already gone. You don't have to look for him. He'll be fine!" I tried to persuade her. After all, she obviously would not be able to find me. Unless I found a chance to transform back.

"No!" Her refusal was adamant. "What if he's hurt?"

Her energy was obviously spent but she still trudged on. I could not believe what I was seeing.

Why would I matter so much to her?

I could not help myself. I had to know. "Wait! Why are you going so far for him?!"

She hesitated before murmuring softly, "Before... I told you about a person I wanted to give a muffler to, right? He's that person. So, I have to save him!"

My heart stuttered to a stop. Then it raced again. She likes me? It can't be!

My mind was a blank before emotions flooded in again. I wanted to laugh. To sing. To yell. To hug her. I felt too much at that point, and I was barely able to keep a lid on my emotions. It was an impossible fantasy come true and I did not know what to do or how to deal with it. And so, I just continued following her, watching her, waiting to see if all that happened was just a dream, a cruel joke and if I was going to be awoken at any time. It simply couldn't be happening.

Then she tripped and fell down the stairs. I was not in time to catch her.

Horrified, I rushed to her side and in a move reminiscent of that morning, I yelled at her.

"Are you an idiot?!" I was still not sure why I said that. It might simply have been a slip, something unconscious on my part. Or it might have been that, subconsciously, I wanted her to know my identity.

"Why are you calling me an idiot!" she cried reflexively. The damage was done.

Recognition bloomed in her eyes. As if in slow motion, she reached up and removed my mask. I did not stop her.

The truth was finally out.

The scenes from this chapter are taken from Episode 25 of the PGSM Live Action.

Chapter 11 CROSSROAD

As we stared at each other, the secret finally out, she suddenly seemed to realize something. She turned scarlet and started to run away.

No! I caught hold of her arm.

I could not let her go. "Usagi!" I called without thinking.

She was shocked. "You know."

Flustered and horrified, she stuttered, "I'm sorry. It's all different now... I don't..."

I knew what she was going to say and I did not want to hear it. I did not want to hear a denial from her lips. Not when I finally knew that my feelings were reciprocated. Not when I love her.

"I also..." Love you. The words was almost out of my mouth before I could think. I was barely able to stop the rest in time as almost as instantly, Hina's face flashed in my mind.

I wanted to rail at the unfairness of it all.

But I couldn't. I could only let go of her. And turn away.

I knew that I was leaving my heart behind. Each step away was a torture.

Things seemed to come to a head.

I just got home from the planetarium, relieved at the numbness that had spread to my entire body when Motoki called. It was too painful to feel just then.

Hina was at the Crown and something was wrong with her.

When I got to the Crown, Motoki was in a ridiculous turtle costume, ready for my farewell party. Only him. I sighed mentally.

His next words shattered my amusement.

"Hina-chan said she saw a woman's handkerchief in your home."

Usagi's handkerchiefs. I groaned quietly. I should have kept them in somewhere more inconspicuous.

Motoki's face turned serious as he looked at me.

"Actually, I'm really worried about you, Mamoru. I know Hina-chan's father took you in and raised you; he's your benefactor and Hina-chan believes in you."

Motoki's words echoed what I had been telling myself. Suddenly, I was frustrated and irrationally angry at him. He was my best friend and I had confided in him about Hina but I did not need him to remind me of my duties.

He continued. "I know she's the daughter of your benefactor and you feel obligated to fulfill your promise to her."

Hina appeared silently behind him at that point.

"But if you marry her without loving her, what kind of life will you have?"

Her face turned so pale. Without a word, she ran out of the door.

Damn! I wanted to hurl something at Motoki.

Instead I had settled for staring angrily at him before chasing after Hina.

I never meant for her to find out. I intended to keep my feelings to myself and be a good husband to her. This is not happening!

Halfway through the pursuit, the youma attacks started. Hina stood in the middle of the plaza, oblivious to the danger around her.

"I'm truly an idiot, aren't I? She asked brokenly. I had never seen her acting that way in all the years we had been together. "We've been together since we were little, it only seemed natural... Mamoru, the feelings that you have for me... You've never told me even once!"

It was true. She had told me countless time that she loved me but I was unwilling to tell her those same words. I was not able to lie outright to her.

"No more! Just go to whoever you want!" She screamed at me before taking off again.

I was pained by the anguish in her voice. I had to find her and make things right somehow. Besides, I had to protect her from the youma. I ran after her.

Then I saw Usagi.

I wondered if fate was playing a cruel joke on me.

It was as if I was at a crossroad. Usagi and Hina were both in front of me and it was time for me to choose one or the other. The moment stretched as I looked into Usagi's eyes.

I ran to Hina.

She had collapsed on the ground after being attacked and was left without her energy.

"Mamoru. Always be with me. My papa was your benefactor, Mamoru. If not for papa, Mamoru... that's why... even if you don't like me, stay with me. Please."

Her voice was weak and pleading. It was the first time I heard that tone from her. She was like a rag doll, broken and lifeless, and it was not only due to the youma attack. I knew I had hurt her badly. Hina was a kind and gentle girl. Under normal circumstances, she would never have dreamt of using Uncle Takeda as leverage against me. But it was not normal circumstances. And she was grasping at straws, like a drowning person. I made her stoop to that. I was disgusted at myself.

"Don't talk like that!" I demanded. Then, in a softer tone, I looked to Usagi and continued. The next words were as much to Usagi as it was to Hina.

"I've been with you since we were little. You're important to me. Those feelings are real. That's why, until you say 'no', I will be with you." My eyes pleaded wordlessly with Usagi.

Usagi's smile was heartbreakingly beautiful. Her eyes shone with unshed tears. I knew she understood what I was trying to say.

I broke two girls' hearts that day. As well as my own.

But there was no choice to make. Hina was always been my future. It had been decided a long time ago. With Usagi, I strayed from my path. I did not regret loving her. It was impossible not to, but she should not have loved me back. It was my burden, my trial, and she should not have to suffer for it as well. I only regretted that.

"Hurry and run." Usagi then whispered in a shaky voice, before dashing off.

Of course, she was there because of the youma. With that realization, I knew I had to help her. For the last time, I told myself. Gently, I laid Hina down on a bench before preparing to go after Usagi.

"I'll be back," I promised Hina and I intended to keep the promise. I would just be there to make sure Sailor Moon was safe and then go back to Hina.

I did not expect to die.

I was only in time to shield Sailor Moon from Kunzite's sword. I was not able to defend myself. It was either her or me. I chose her. As his sword slashed through my body, waves of pain crashed upon me. I knew I was not going to survive that.

Dying for her. It's cliche but somehow fitting. Perhaps that was the best way. I got to protect the girl I love without betraying the girl I was bound to.

"I wasn't able to return your feelings. But at least..." Her tearful face was the last thing I saw before I slipped into unconsciousness. Or more accurately, I died.

I remember wishing I had told her that I loved her.

The scenes from this chapter are taken from Episodes 25-26 of the PGSM Live Action.

Chapter 12 PRINCESS

I did not remember much of where I was after I died (sort of). The memory of it was murky. I could only recall that I seemed to be in a sort of dark passageway, when suddenly a light had glowed so brightly that I was not able to open my eyes. When I was finally able to open them, I had been revived by the Ginzuishou. The Princess' Ginzuishou. Usagi's Ginzuishou.

The revelation of Usagi as a princess was a shock, but yet it wasn't. I think somehow I had known it at the back of my mind, a forgotten memory. Something I had acknowledged subconsciously but did not want to recognize.

My dreams and the image of Usagi in front of me merged into one. Usagi was the princess in my dreams. The one pleading for me to bring her the Ginzuishou. I stared at her as if in a daze. Perhaps I was. It was difficult to believe that I was not still in my dream, with Usagi in front of me, in a white gown and looking so ethereally beautiful.

"Princess Serenity." Venus whispered.

Something clicked in my mind. I knew that name. Princess Serenity and Prince Endymion. Usagi and I from a previous life.

The Moon Kingdom and the Earth Kingdom.

Bits and pieces of memory flickered through my brain, but they slipped away before I could get a good grasp on them. I tried to focus but a blinding pain pounded through my head and a wave of nausea swept over me.

Then, darkness overwhelmed me again.

When I next woke, I was in a hospital. I had been sent there together with the other victims of the youma, who had not been near enough to receive Usagi's healing blast of power. I probably was too drained of strength even after the healing by Usagi. After all, I had died.

It was not been something I wanted to think too deeply about. I was to be discharged that same day though, so it was not anything too serious.

I was pondering over the revelation of the day before when Zoisite appeared again. If I did not know better, I would have thought that man to be a stalker...

"She is the Princess, Master. This connection comes from your previous life. However, your bond with the Princess is of a sinister omen. If you break if off, then perhaps tragedy..."

Before he was able to finish his sentence, Hina interrupted. He shimmered out.

Hina had fully recovered from the attack. But her expression was guarded and careful when I saw her, even though she tried to seem cheerful, as if nothing had happened. As if I had not destroyed her world as she knew it.

I had hurt her and no matter what I remembered about Usagi and I, and our past lives, my responsibility was to Hina. I would do whatever it was to mend our relationship. We were to leave for London the next day. As I looked at the air ticket she passed to me, I resolved to use the next four years in London to make it up to her. And to forget Usagi.

The damage was done though and the injury too raw for Hina to be happy in my presence. As the awkwardness stretched, she became more and more uncomfortable before she left abruptly.

I slumped back to bed and my mind once again wandered to Zoisite's words.

Bond with the Princess. Previous life. Sinister omen.

I had a feeling that it was something to do with what Kunzite had said. Destroying of the planet. But how could love between the princess and myself in a previous life destroy a planet? For that was what it had been. I did not remember much from that life, but I was sure that the princess and I had been in love.

Usagi and I in love in the distant past. And in love again in this life.

And both times, it seemed, were doomed to fail.

The scenes from this chapter are taken from Episode 26 of the PGSM Live Action.

Chapter 13 TURNING POINT

That next day at the airport was a turning point in my life.

I will be with you until you say 'no'. That was what I had told Hina.

That day, at the airport, she said 'no'.

"Mamoru, we've always been together. We grew up together, but don't you know that I have a really strong pride? I'm only 'important' to you. How did you think I can marry you knowing that you don't even love me? I realized that I was being petty."

With that, she tore her air ticket and declared that she was not going to study abroad.

She broke up with me. Never had I ever imagined that.

But, she was right. I did not know her. I thought I did, based on the years we had been together. Perhaps I had, in a way, but apparently not in the way that mattered. I never did make much effort to find out what Hina was like, besides being my intended wife. I knew much more about Usagi in the few months that I had known her, her personality and idiosyncrasies better than I knew Hina in the ten years we had been together. I never felt the urge to observe and analyze her every word and every move, nor was she constantly in my thoughts no matter what I was doing, the way it was for Usagi.

Hina was a better person than I had been. And she was kind to the last. She knew it was my dream to study abroad. At least, it had been my dream. She did not know that my dream had changed. So, she ensured that I was still able to go to London.

"It doesn't matter whether or not we marry. Papa is pleased to do this for you." I could see the effort it took her to say those words. My mind was chaotic. I was ready to do whatever it took to make her happy but she gave me a way out instead. She gave me a chance at happiness, at her expense. I was not prepared to accept that.

But Hina was nothing if not thorough. She did know me and knew how I would react, so she pre-empted my every step.

"I want you to go. I don't want you in Japan." She refused to look at me. "You said until I say 'no', right?"

"Well, I'm saying 'no'." It was then she looked at me full in the eyes. I was rocked by the strength and determination in her eyes.

I conceded defeat.

"Goodbye." There was a finality in her voice. "Someday, let's meet again after we've had families of our own." I knew that I was not going to be seeing her again in the near future. Perhaps, someday, when she had only fond thoughts left of me, when she could see me as her family instead of as her love.

Someday.

My heart was too full at that moment. Memories from our childhood filled my mind. Hina had always been there. She was a friend, a sister, a confidante. Her departure left a hole in my heart.

"Hina. I really think you're important!" I shouted to her as she left. And she was. Very important. She was my family. I could not love her the way she wanted me to, but that did not make her any less significant in my life.

Yet I realized that I had been selfish. If I had married her without loving her, she would not have been happy with me. She deserved someone who is devoted to her, not someone who did not love her, no matter how much she loved me. She would have been miserable. She made the right choice at the airport.

Perhaps I should be grateful to Motoki after all, although I wanted to strangle him at that time. Without him, I would have perpetuated a mistake.

Hina. I would forever be grateful to her for waking me up and for giving me the choice. Although I knew she would not want it.

I could only hope that she would indeed find someone she loves and who loves her, and we would meet one day, a family again.

When Motoki arrived at the airport to send us off, I was still reeling with the enormity of what had happened.

Relating what happened to Motoki put everything in perspective.

"It was my fault." That was my conclusion. And so it was.

"What'll you do?"

Motoki's innocent question brought me back to my dilemma.

Should I go to London?

As I stared at the air ticket, my mind grappled with all the choices I had. To stay or to leave. To embrace my past. To be with Usagi. To take charge of my own future.

Choices. I have choices now.

And that was because of Hina.

I made my decision.

"I'm... going."

"Once again, searching for who I am. I want to try that again."

London... I did not know if that was the right choice but I did know that I could not stay either. I needed to sort out my feelings, to find myself once more.

Do I really love Usagi, or is it just a residual of feelings from a past life?

I was already unfair to Hina. It would not be fair to Usagi either if I found out later that I was not in love with her after all, but reacting to my past life's feelings for the princess. For our sakes, I had to leave. I wanted find out for myself, away from Usagi, if my feelings were true. I owed Hina, owed her that much, at the very least.

As I walked to the departure gates, I thought about leaving Usagi a message. But what could I say to her?

I'm leaving? Wait for me? I will be back? I love you?

Even though I was granted the freedom I never had before, I was not able to say all that. I was not even sure of them myself. I knew she was safe for the moment and that was what was important then.

The future... would be resolved some way or another.

As the airplane took to the air, I was determined that I would resolve it my way.

The scenes from this chapter are taken from Episodes 27-32 of the PGSM Live Action.

Chapter 14 PRINCE IN LONDON

Piano strains sounded in my apartment. I bit back a groan.

Zoisite. He is here again. Why am I even surprised?

Ever since I reached London and moved into the on-campus residence, he had been appearing almost every other day. Not the most conducive atmosphere for a little inner peace and figuring out what to do with my future when a ghostly apparition popped up all the time to remind me of my past.

I sat up on bed, idly deciding whether to just ignore him today. But as the melody crescendoed, I sighed. He wasn't going to make it easy to be ignored. Giving up, I threw on a shirt and got ready my books for class before making my way to the floor length mirror in the hall. He was there, as usual.

It had been unnerving the first few times to look into the mirror and see another person instead of your own reflection.

I sighed again as I got ready to argue with him the meaning of my existence for the twentieth time, give or take a few times. Impasse, all right.

I recalled one of the arguments we had.

"How long are you going to fear your past life? Even though the path you must take is already decided." Zoisite had started the first volley.

"If everything was decided by my past life, then what am I now?" I had rebutted. That had been the crux of everything for me.

"You are... yourself."

That had been a fine answer. Which answered nothing, in my opinion.

My name, my past, everything might have been controlled by strangers or my past life but that was why I did not want my future to be the same way. I did not know if I could find my answer in London, but I was certainly going to try.

But Zoisite did not let me be.

One moment I was in my residence, the next, I was transported to the Dark Kingdom.

I tensed, ready for a battle.

Zoisite. Nephrite.

Then Kunzite walked in.

"So now you're interested in your past life as well?" he taunted Nephrite before turning to Zoisite. "I know you remember what the Master did!"

His voice was full of bitterness.

Zoisite looked down, pained and unable to deny the truth of his words. And snapshots of the Shitennou's death invaded my mind. Perhaps it was the presence of all four of the Shitennou, or that Zoisite's memory-awakening music had finally broke through.

My head throbbed painfully as I suddenly remembered the destruction of the Earth Kingdom. Jadeite, Nephrite, Zoisite. All dead. Kunzite, the strongest and the only one alive, roaring his fury to the dark skies.

As the Shitennou argued before me, over whether or not to kill me, and if their past life was integral to their present one, a memory become clearer and clearer. I remembered them arguing in the same way before. In a past life. The issue they were arguing over was still vague in my mind and the splitting headache I rapidly developed did not help matters. All I knew was that I had to stop them before my head burst.

"Cut it out!" I shouted.

They paid me no heed. That was the trigger. I felt something shift as another personality took over me. It was as if I was shoved to the background, making way for another spirit deep within my soul.

"Stop it!" My voice took on a rich timbre, echoing in the hall. It was a command, as if I was used to being the authority all my life.

"Kunzite! Zoisite! Nephrite! Jadeite!" For some reason, I knew Jadeite was listening from beyond the doors.

I was not able to control what I was saying. By then, I realized that the personality that had taken over was probably Prince Endymion. My previous life.

"Things like the past life... why concern yourself with something that happened so long ago?! And why do that need to be so terrible?" My anger, or rather, our anger reached a peak and I felt a brief transformation. It had been too brief for me to decipher what I had transformed into, though from the expressions on the Shitennou's faces, it was something momentous.

At that moment, the spirit left.

Zoisite looked delighted. Kunzite sneered.

"Master," he called mockingly, "Will you continue as you are now and go back to some nook somewhere? If you do that, you can live in peace until the day of your destruction. However, if you can't..." he stepped forward threateningly.

I ignored him, concentrating on the newfound memories and what my past life had said.

"Zoisite. You said before, I am myself... you might be right."

I had finally understood what he was trying to tell me. My past life might have affected everything in my life, but I was still myself. Only I could make the decisions on how much I would let the past affect my future. I looked straight at Kunzite. "I've decided. I'm not running anymore." I might have caused their deaths so long ago in a past life but that did not mean I was going to repeat it. I wanted to change the outcome this time round.

Kunzite slashed angrily at me with his sword, to no effect. I was then transported back to my own room again. I realized that I was not really there. It had simply been a mind flight. Zoicite's trick.

I settled heavily into the sofa, exhausted. The flight had drained much of my energy. But my mind was clear.

I made my decision.

All of a sudden, there was a sharp pain in my chest. I couldn't breathe. It had been all I could do to not fall into a faint. I knew Usagi was in trouble. My connection with her had all but hit me on the head with it. Even thousands of miles away.

Only much later did I find out that Usagi had been knocked unconscious at that precise moment, after being attacked by Sailor Mercury who had been controlled by the Dark Kingdom at that time.

She may be injured... more than injured... I was not been able to continue that line of thought.

It was as if the light that had been sustaining me just winked out of existence. I needed to get to Usagi. Staggering to the hallway, I tried to reach the door, but before I could do so, darkness swept over me, and I hit the ground.

When I awoke, the pain constricting my chest was gone. I looked at the clock and realized that I had been out cold for hours. Usagi! For a moment, I panicked. But then... somehow, I knew Usagi was safe. I did not know how I knew, but there was no doubt in my mind about it. As I staggered into an upright position, I finally noticed that something was not right. My clothes seemed heavier than they should be. A flash of white on the mirror next to me caught my eye. I was in a formal attire. Not a black tuxedo, but a white formal attire.

Recognition.

The colour was a mark of royalty in the ancient past. Prince Endymion's royal attire. My royal armour.

As I gazed into the mirror, I realized that I was clutching the hilt of a sword hanging off my side. I slowly withdrew the sword out of its scabbard. It was heavy. But suddenly, I realized that I knew how to wield it.

A flash of memory.

A man teaching me how to fight.

But the image was gone as swiftly as it had appeared. Then the strike of the clock announcing the hour brought me out of my reverie.

I need to get to Usagi. It was not a conscious thought. I knew she was safe, but there was an overwhelming need to see her. To see that she was safe for myself. As soon as I thought that, I felt something shift. The room was a blur. In an instant, I had moved. Shifted between space.

What do you know... teleportation. That's convenient. Moving my head, I caught a glimpse of a building sign and froze. Tenth Street Elementary School, Los Angeles.

Wonderful. I'm in America.

It seemed that I had not regained all my ability to teleport after all. I needed to be a lot more precise if I wanted to get back to Azabu Juban (Translation: Tenth Street), Tokyo. To where Usagi was.

I did not even question my need to get to her. After that near-death experience (I presumed) for her, I came to a realization. Or perhaps, an epiphany.

She is my life.

It was not as if I was not coming to that conclusion on my own anyway. Those past few weeks away from her had been something akin to pain. If there was one thing I realized after weeks of contemplation, it was that I loved Usagi.

In Japan, I had not realized how much I depended on seeing her, either accidentally or in the form of a fight with youmas. I told myself that it was to protect her when I threw myself into her battles, but it was an excuse to get close to her, to be near her.

The thousands of miles away from her made me realize my need to be with her. I missed her. I thought about her almost constantly. I wanted to be by her side. It did not matter whether or not she was the princess. That might have played a part too, but I accepted that, along with my own past life. More crucially, it was Usagi that I needed to see. That cheerful, loving girl who captured my heart in the few months that I had known her. The need was so strong that it bordered on the painful side at times. If that wasn't love, I did not know what was. At least I was sure of that.

I was also sure of another thing.

I would not let the past destroy my future with Usagi.

And so, I concentrated my energies and tried again. That time I shifted into somewhere in Australia.

At least it's closer now...

Glancing around again, I sighed. It was going to be a long journey.

The scenes from this chapter are taken from Episode 32 of the PGSM Live Action.

Chapter 15 RETURN

After countless attempts, I finally managed to get the hang of teleportation. I needed to get a precise image and lock on my location.

Taking a deep breath, I tried again and smiled with relief when I shimmered into my apartment. I was back in Juban.

Just then, I felt a tug through my connection to Usagi.

Danger.

Usagi was in danger. I didn't hesitate. Immediately, I focused on Usagi and in a moment, I had teleported to where Usagi was. I thanked my lucky stars that I had perfected my skill at that. For I arrived just in time. The youma was strangling Usagi!

Seeing Usagi limp in the youma's stranglehold sent a boiling rage through me. A sudden red haze filled my vision. But there was more.

Fear.

Usagi had to be fine. Desperately, I struck a blow at the youma with my sword and caught hold of Usagi as the youma was forced to release her to defend himself. Clasping her close to me, I willed her to open her eyes while focusing on keeping the youma away from her with a few parries of my sword.

When she finally did become conscious, I could breathe again. She's fine.

Then, I concentrated on the youma as Usagi transformed. Between the two of us, the youma never had a chance. He was vanquished in just a few minutes. It was good to feel powerful for once.

After re-sheathing my sword, I slowly turned to face her.

Usagi. Sailor Moon.

She walked towards me, an inexplicable expression on her face, an expression caught somewhere between happiness and sorrow.

"I heard you were missing." Disbelief flashed in her eyes.

Oh. Right.

I had been too anxious to find Usagi, too caught up with experimenting with my new found power that I totally forgot that I would be considered as missing in London. I did not think to contact anyone in London regarding my whereabouts. I would have to settle that problem later. But first, Usagi.

"I returned without telling anyone." I decided to explain about my teleportation later. There were more important things to say at that moment. The rest could wait.

To my astonishment, she suddenly collapsed, as if a great load was lifted off her.

"I... thought something happened," she sighed with relief, "I'm so glad." A beautiful smile graced her face.

I was not able to speak. My heart was full to overflowing at that point. I felt that I would never be able to love her more than during that instant. I could only gaze into her eyes, trying to convey all that I was feeling to her. She blushed a rosy red under my gaze before looking down and softly suggesting that we de-transform.

Moments later, we strolled along the harbour, back in our normal guise. The sunset cast a warm glow over the area and the fiery orange disk muted to a gentler shade. Watching the light dance on the waves, I decided to broach the topic. Then chickened out.

"Do you remember everything about your past life?" That was a safer area than what I really wanted to say. Moreover, we had to confront that sooner or later.

"Not at all..." she replied. I did not know what to feel at that. It meant that she would not be troubled by our past lives, but it also meant that we still did not know what had happened before, and hence still had no clue as to how to prevent it from happening again.

"My relationship with you destroyed the planet. We are a threat to those who desire to prevent the past life from repeating... Do you believe it?" I looked at her, intent on conveying my determination with my next words.

"I won't believe it. That's what I decided. That's why I returned. To prove that with you." I stated my resolve quickly, wanting to get it across before my nerves got the better of me.

Usagi's eyes widened with shock. Is that a good sign? Or not? I was not able to tell. I swallowed.

To the main subject matter.

All of a sudden, I felt awkward, like a young boy all over again. It was a similar feeling that one got before taking a major exam, multiplied ten times.

I knew she liked me, or perhaps even love me, but I did not know if her liking for me was strong enough to make her want to brave through the uncertain future together with me. After all, we were not a usual couple. Being together with me meant defying our past lives and fighting to prove to all the others that we would not destroy the planet. It was a heavy responsibility to shoulder. Besides my heart, I had nothing else to offer her, and instead had to saddle her with an enormous burden.

I was unsure. And nervous. I stumbled over my next question.

"That muffler..." I hesitated, then plunged on, "if you still have it... may I have it?"

A round-about way of asking her if she still wanted to be with me.

I held my breath as I awaited her reply.

Her face crumbled. My heart fell.

"That... I can't!" Tears rolled down her cheeks.

My heart constricted painfully. I could almost feel it starting to shatter.

"It'll be summer soon," Usagi continued, still sobbing.

I could almost sweatdrop, anime style, if there was such a thing in real life.

The shattered portions pieced themselves back together rapidly. My face broke into a grin and the relief made me sarcastic.

"Baka! That's not the problem," I declared before doing something I had wanted to do for a very long time. Hugging her.

As I enclosed her within my arms, breathing in her light floral scent, I vowed both to her and to myself, "I swear... the planet will not be destroyed."

She was finally mine. I had never felt happier.

The scenes from this chapter are taken from Episodes 33-36 of the PGSM Live Action.

Chapter 16 HAPPILY EVER AFTER?

Next in line was getting things in order. I contacted the University administration in London to let them know I was deferring my studies. I certainly could not leave Japan or Usagi when the situation with the Dark Kingdom was getting serious. I would still achieve my dream of studying abroad for a business degree later, when the danger had passed.

Then was Uncle Takeda. I thought it would be hard to let him know about Hina and I, but I should have known. Hina had already informed him. He had such hopes for us and must have been disappointed, but being the kind man he was, he did not let on any of those sentiments.

As I stood before him in his office, feeling smaller than I had ever felt, he simply looked at me and said somberly in his deep baritone voice, "As much as Hina is my daughter, you are my son too. I don't know what happened between the two of you but as long as you two are happy with the path you have chosen, so am I."

He let me walk my own path. Without any recriminations, any censure. I was not able to speak.

He was not my father, but he might as well be.

After that was the trickiest character of all... Motoki. I could only laugh at the look on Motoki's face when he first saw us and realized what had happened. It was simply priceless.

When I stepped into the Crown with Usagi that day, I prepared myself for the inevitable barrage of questions. I was not disappointed. Luckily I had my Usagi there to face it with me and she did not disappoint either, able to match Motoki's intensive interrogation with her own overblown imaginary account... we could not tell the truth after all! All I had to do was to sit by, nod at appropriate moments and watch my Usagi.

My Usagi.

I was full of joy that we were officially together. I was able to see her every day, hear her voice whenever I wanted to, think of her without feeling guilty. Life seemed so free and bright. And we were happy, more than happy. I laughed more than I could remember. We dated like any other normal couples, and just enjoyed being with each other. I finally got the white muffler from her. It was over-long and not too well knitted in some areas but it was full of her love for me. It was a reminder of how I had first found out that she liked me. It was the best gift I had ever received.

And I had given her something in return, a token of my love. That day, we had gone out to buy a 'get-well' present for Venus, or Minako, as Usagi called her. She seemed to have overworked and had fainted at her concert. We even bickered as per normal for us, this time over the difficulty she had in calling me by my name. I was quite annoyed by that. I wanted to hear my name from her lips but for some unfathomable female reason, she did not want to do so.

Females. I could never understand them.

In any case, Usagi had liked a pocket watch we saw from a shop, and I immediately wanted to buy that for her as well. It was a delicate pentagon-shaped object, polished in rose gold and hung on a slender gold chain. There was something about that watch which called to both of us.

I had nervously presented her with the watch, trying to be nonchalant about it.

"As an exchange for the muffler... I have never given you anything," I had said.

Her whole face had lighted up as she murmured her thanks. Then when she gently rested her head on my shoulder, I felt pretty close to heaven.

These days, I almost felt as though I was living a fantasy, if not for the fact that there were dark clouds near. The Dark Kingdom and the unknown of our past life could not be forgotten. Zoisite was constantly there to remind me of that (besides trying to persuade me to stay away from the princess). But I was determined that Usagi felt no fear of that. I could worry for us both. I wanted her to stay the same girl she was, a ray of sunshine, who brought light into the life of anyone who crossed her path. Her light should not be dimmed by any troubles.

Moreover, we were still in the dark, which meant that we were not able to do anything about it in any case. Zoisite was not able to provide me with more information on our past and why they believe that Endymion's relationship with the princess had destroyed the planet. He did warn me that Queen Beryl was plotting something though.

It came in the guise of an idol-singer, Kuroki Mio. I met her was when she 'fainted' right in front of me and I had to send her to a hospital. Of course I did not know who she was.

Later, I found out that she was a sort of projection of Queen Beryl, a shadow warrior created specially by her to spy on Usagi.

Once she had found out about me though, she did not take long to change her target and set her sights on me instead. I would never understand why she was so obsessed with me. It was not as if I was a prince anymore. She was the powerful Queen of the Dark Kingdom while I was simply an ordinary student, albeit with some memories of my past life and some skill with a sword. Yet, she was still obsessed and tried ways and means to get me to her Dark Kingdom.

She made the first attempt through Kuroki Mio, using mind control. I was not prepared and almost immediately fell under the spell.

Come with me. Follow.

Those were the only words that I heard while under the spell. It was as if I was in a daze; my mind was fogged and I could only obey. A small corner of my mind realized something was wrong though and tried to fight back, but it was futile to struggle against the bonds. Help came from an unexpected source.

Kunzite.

He appeared just in time, distracting her enough such that I was able to reassert control over my own mind. Not that Kunzite was trying to help me. He had his own agenda, as usual. Yet, it was fortunate that he did. I might not have been able to escape otherwise. Once Kuroki Mio's control over me slipped, my memory of Usagi was enough to help me break free.

Then Sailor Moon was there in person and her presence alone was enough to give me strength. Kuroki Mio shimmered out but Kunzite and Jadeite remained. The fight that ensued between them and us was fierce and might easily had gone badly were it not for first, the appearance of Sailor Venus and later, Queen Beryl's summoning back of the Shitennou. I was just relieved that Usagi was safe.

It was our last reprieve.

The second time I saw Mio, she simply stated one word to get me to go with her.

Shitennou.

I might not have remembered much about them, but I did instinctively know that they were important to me. Or perhaps to my past life. I had to follow.

She led me to a plain meadow, directly into the presence of a tall woman with flame-red hair before disappearing. Automatically, I tensed. The stench of evil surrounding her was the strongest I had ever encountered.

"At last. After tens of thousands of years, Endymion! I've waited for this moment for a very long time... we're finally reunited!"

Her whole countenance exuded smugness.

Her voice... the fiery hair...

A flicker of recognition.

She was...

Queen Beryl.

My senses screamed danger at me.

"I see that you still remember me. As I you. I have always been watching you," she almost purred.

I felt goosebumps on my arms. Watching me? How? I could not imagine anything more horrifying.

At that point, Sailor Moon arrived, with the rest of the senshi. She was as surprised to see me as I was to see her. My first thought was that I did not want her to be near Beryl. She's not safe!

"Princess!" Beryl addressed Usagi directly. "You can start saying your goodbyes. From now on, your Endymion belongs to me!"

My jaws dropped in shock. What...??!!

Beryl then declared to me, "I have received power from Queen Metallia. Come rule the planet together with me!"

Her smirk was superior. I was insulted.

I was certainly not a boy toy to be passed around to the winner of some competition of power.

"Nonsense! Why should I listen to you?!" I snarled back.

Yet there was fear in my words too. I understood that she was not joking.

She proved my fear with her next actions.

She summoned the Shitennou.

Not to fight us. She was more diabolical than that.

She threatened me with their lives.

My Shitennou. Under Beryl's control. Pointing their swords to their own throats.

"I gave the Shitennou back their lives. At one word from me, they will take their own lives. Endymion, if you don't want the Shitennou to die, you'll have to come willingly to me!"

Her gloating smile was dreadful to behold.

"Endymion," she continued, "since our past lives, I have only you in my heart. Only you."

I had received my share of love confessions in the past. That was the absolute worst. My hair stood on end.

"You will come! You will not desert them, will you? Your subordinates had sworn loyalty to you!"

With a wave of her hand, Kunzite's sword came closer to his neck. He struggled futilely.

"Stop it!" I yelled. The sword stopped moving.

She knew me well. I could not let them die. Jadeite. Nephrite. Zoisite. Kunzite. I did not remember them but I knew they had been to Endymion what the senshi was to Usagi. They were part of my past, and so they were intricately linked to my present too. Especially Zoisite, who, despite everything, had been trying to protect me as best as he could. They were my responsibility, whether they or I acknowledged it or not.

I took one step forward.

"Wait!" Usagi cried, a desperate tone to her voice. She knew me too. She knew what I would do. "This has no meaning! Even if you force him to go with you, you won't be able to change his heart!"

Silly Usagi. She really believes that Beryl loves me?

I knew it was just about possession and hence what Usagi said would not make an iota of difference. Instead, it angered Beryl and she unleashed an attack on Sailor Moon.

There was a huge impact as the senshi was thrown to the ground. Sailor Moon, being protected by the other senshi was the only one left standing. My heart stuck in my throat.

"Endymion! How long are you going to keep me waiting?!" The swords were back at the Shitennou's throats.

"Wait!"

Fear. Resignation. Defeat.

"I'll go." It was the most terrible two words I ever had to say.

As I trudged to Beryl, forcing my feet to move forward one step after another, I did not dare look at Usagi, nor think about her. I did not dare imagine how heartbroken she had to be.

Instead, I compelled myself to focus on the enemy. On Queen Beryl. On my hatred for her.

It was then Usagi first transformed into the Princess Sailor Moon.

The scenes from this chapter are taken from Episode 36 of the PGSM Live Action.

Chapter 17 PRINCESS POWER

"Don't touch him!" A familiar yet unfamiliar voice.

Usagi!

I stopped to look back. It was a sight that would always stay in my mind. Sailor Moon surrounded by a golden glow, so bright that we all were not able to open our eyes. A strong wind began to blow, a warning of the coming storm. As the light died down, a person stepped forward.

She was Sailor Moon, yet not. Her senshi fuku was more elaborate, with longer translucent bows and strings of pearls placed at various parts of it. The whole effect had made Sailor Moon look more delicate than usual. Yet it was deceptive. Her whole stance was that of implacable resolve. Of someone with immense power and was comfortable with it.

She had a regal bearing that Usagi never had. She was not my Usagi. She was someone else I did not recognize. Another personality had taken over her. I recognized the signs from my own experience not too long before.

Princess Serenity.

Beryl was taken aback as well, but did not hesitate in her next actions. Dark power radiated from her and with a sudden blast, she attacked Sailor Moon.

A huge explosion rocked the meadow.

USAGI!

For one terrifying second, I feared the worst but before I could take the steps to run to her, a shadow emerged from the billowing clouds of smoke.

Sailor Moon. Or perhaps more appropriately, Princess Sailor Moon. She escaped from the attack totally unscathed. She radiated power. I almost could not believe my eyes.

Even Beryl was shocked, right before becoming more incensed than ever.

She commanded the Shitennou to strike instead but it was all to no avail. With a sword conjured out of thin air, Princess Sailor Moon was able to deflect all their power blasts as she strode relentlessly towards Beryl. She did not even notice that the senshi were almost hit by the deflected blasts. Her eyes stared only at Beryl.

"Princess! Don't think you're the only powerful one! I'm as powerful as you! No, I'm even more powerful than you now! Do you hear me?! Turn back now and put down your sword!"

There was a hint of desperation in Beryl's command to the Princess.

Shockingly, I felt similar emotions. There was something rather frightening about Sailor Moon at that point. She had never been so powerful but she had never been so unemotional either. My Usagi always felt passionately about anything she did.

There was something almost... inhuman about the way she was facing Beryl.

Then, in a practiced gesture with her sword, she sent Beryl's energy blast right back at her. As Beryl and the Shitennou scrambled to evade the blow, I could only stare at her.

Usagi had always been beautiful but at that instant, she was terrifying in her beauty. She was like a goddess... a goddess of war and destruction.

"The one going overboard, is you."

Her voice was imperial, and icy-cold.

Beryl was livid. She most definitely was not used to being spoken to in that way. Her eyes fell on me.

"Kill her, Endymion! I order you to!"

No! My instinctive response was to defy her, even if it cost my life.

"You already belong to me! If you dare say 'no'...!" Beryl turned to the Shitennou. I could only watch in shock as Nephrite's sword plunged into his body.

Nephrite! Damn it!

As Nephrite's feet crumpled underneath him, I felt as if a piece of my own flesh had been cut out. I was numb with pain and shock. My eyes moved involuntarily to Princess Sailor Moon. I needed Usagi's presence for support.

But Usagi could not be found.

Princess Sailor Moon had replaced her. She maintained the same pose, poised to attack, not in the least moved by Nephrite's death.

This is wrong! My Usagi would never act like this. She will be feeling even worse than me. She will be crying with me. This is not Usagi. I need her back.

My feet stepped towards Princess Sailor Moon of their own accord.

As I stood before her, she relaxed her stance. Her eyes brimmed with emotions and I almost thought Usagi was back. Yet her expression remained calm and cold.

"Endymion." She addressed me softly. Endymion. Not Mamoru.

An overwhelming sense of need washed over me. I pulled her into my embrace.

I pleaded. "Usagi. You can hear me, right? Enough! Come back! Usagi!" I did not know I could sound so desperate.

A flash of light and Usagi was back. She looked at me with an expression of one who had just woken up. I fought back the tears I could feel forming. It was the closest I had come to crying from as far back as I could remember.

I wanted to hold her close again but then, Beryl's voice had cut in.

"Endymion, come back!"

I had almost forgot about her.

I turned to Usagi and met her eyes. They were wet with unshed tears, full of misery. It was an expression I never hope to see on her.

I could not say anything. There were no adequate words. I could only convey what I felt with my expression. I had to leave. My eyes begged her to understand.

As I turned to leave, I finally heard it.

"Mamoru!"

It was the first time she said my name. But how ironic that it was under such circumstances, and in such a pain-filled voice. I had to reassure her somehow.

"Don't worry. I'll definitely come back." I said something we both knew might not be happening.

As I was transported to the Dark Kingdom, I had to believe that she would carry on without me by her side. She knew her mission and she had her senshi with her. Those would have to be enough. Until I could find a way back to her.

The scenes from this chapter are taken from Episodes 37-38 of the PGSM Live Action.

Chapter 18 DARK KINGDOM

Life in the Dark Kingdom was strange, to say the least. The food was... weird and there was no sun. It was cold and dark all the time.

But there was one advantage, at least. I was able to see the Shitennou without fighting at first sight. I did not need their gratitude for saving their lives, not that they were grateful (with perhaps the exception of Zoisite). I wanted to find out what had happened in our previous lives and apparently, they knew everything, or at least Kunzite and Zoisite seemed to know some things.

I wanted to know what I did that brought on such opposite attitudes from the two of them towards me. If there was anything I needed to feel guilty about. How the planet had been destroyed. If there was anything I did that might have justified Kunzite trying to kill me. If there was any way I could prevent it from happening again in this lifetime, so that I would not endanger Usagi. So we could all break free Usagi and I, the senshi, the Shitennou.

However the encounter did not enlighten me as to what had happened and only served to enhance Kunzite's hostility towards me. The memories he retained had embittered him. All he had on his mind was to destroy all, especially me.

"You are different from your past. But that doesn't change anything. So why don't you let me kill you, Master?" he sneered before unsheathing his sword.

A memory.

Kunzite teaching me sword fighting skills. Laughing together. Bantering with easy camaraderie.

"Master's sword should be one of survival. Our swords are the ones used to protect Master."

Comrades.

I shook off the memory as I prepared to defend myself against Kunzite once again. It brought on an ache in my heart though. We had been friends. He had been my mentor, my protector. What had happened?

"The past... had been destroyed together with the planet," Kunzite had stated dispassionately, "I will kill everyone involved with this, including myself."

I looked into his eyes and glimpsed the barely concealed pain there, along with his determination.

Then he struck the first blow, and everything else was forgotten as I moved to evade the slashes.

It was over before it barely began however, with the intervention of Mio.

Beryl had sent for me.

Beryl brought me to Queen Metallia. It was the first momentous event in my life at the Dark Kingdom.

"At last, you are here! Do you know how long I've been waiting?"

Her tone was that of a possessive lover. I nearly snorted. I certainly hoped to gods that I had nothing to do with her in my past life.

"You won't understand. In our past lives, I had wished so much that you would be mine. At that time, you had everything power, wealth, happiness, looks, everything I had wanted."

At least that answered one of my questions. I certainly had not been hers in our past lives and that was why she wanted me in this lifetime.

It reminded me of a phrase I once heard: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

I must really remember not to cross women in the future.

I definitely had to try to dissuade her from this fixation on me, however, and so I retorted, "That was the past. I'm just an ordinary human now."

She ignored me though. Instead, she showed me Queen Metallia, a nebulous, glowing ball of energy positioned on the dais.

It was the most ominous-looking thing I had ever seen. I could feel the immense power. Icy prickles of dread crept along the back of my neck as I sensed the innate soulless evil.

"Look, Endymion! This is what has been giving me power since my past life - Queen Metallia! When she finally awakes, I will be able to control this planet!"

I was determined to stop her.

Her next words broke my resolve.

"I've been puzzled, Endymion. Why has Queen Metallia been getting stronger when we have not been feeding her energy? So strong that there has been demons being created spontaneously from this planet itself. Now I've realized. It's the princess! The one who has been affecting Queen Metallia... is the princess!"

I stared at her uncomprehendingly.

It made no sense... until I remembered that day on the meadow. Princess Sailor Moon, wielding an enormous amount of power. Shock reverberated through my body.

It couldn't be... could it?

"Endymion! You must kill the princess! She will be the cause of destruction of this planet!"

It had to be a nightmare. I shuddered, my head shaking violently in denial. No. No. No!

I could not believe it, but yet I knew it was true. Perhaps not in this lifetime. All of a sudden, I knew in my gut that the princess had something to do with the destruction of the planet in our past lives. I had experienced it with her, I felt sure of that.

It was as if a dam had broke through. A gush of memories poured out and a particular memory resurfaced.

Myself, as Endymion, protecting Serenity from a fatal blow. Serenity crying as I died. Energy blasting forth from her. The planet destroyed. Both of us, dead.

Was that what truly had happened? I was disbelieving, my mind in chaos.

Oblivious to or uncaring of my state of mind, Beryl continued. "The princess has the same power as Queen Metallia, and so, if the princess continues to live, this planet will be annihilated once again! Before that, you will have to kill her! To this planet, the people of the Moon are harbingers of destruction!"

I felt like I had been punched in the gut. I could not breathe.

It was not feasible for me to picture Usagi as the destroyer of the world though. Usagi, the loving girl, who cared for everyone, destroying the planet. Usagi, a threat. It is just not possible... is it?

*******************************
I needed some time after that to recover from the blow that revelation inflicted. My mind was reeling - a whirlpool of denial, desperation, and jumbled memories. I wanted to flee the room, to get away from all I had learnt there, but my legs was like lead. I could only stare at the burning ball of energy, yet my eyes did not see it. I did not even know when Beryl left.

All that we believed in, all that I believed in, had been turned upside down. I clenched my fists so tightly that the knuckles whitened with the strain. Thoughts raced through my mind and I tried to make sense of it all. It was an impossible task. My mind could not quiet and kept going back to Usagi and the inevitable dilemma. Is this our destiny? Would our love end up in the destruction of the planet once again?

My heart twisted painfully. A sense of hopelessness descended upon me. I was unable to harm Usagi in the slightest, yet I could not let the planet be destroyed either. Desperation and despair clouded my thoughts.

I won't believe it. That's what I decided. That's why I returned. I swear... the planet will not be destroyed.

I jerked involuntarily from my frozen stance.

That was what I had told Usagi when I first returned from London. It was what I had believed. Why should that be different now?

The agonizing fog clouding my brain dissipated and my mind cleared. There was no dilemma after all. From the very beginning, I had resolved to protect Usagi and that included shielding her from her destiny. We would make our own destiny, I was determined of that. I just had to find a way to make sure that the princess would not obliterate the planet again. A way that ensured Usagi's safety at the same time. Our past should not control our present lives. Usagi should not have to bear the burden of her past life's doings.

Turning on my heel, I walked purposefully to the opening of the cave I was in, determined to find a way, when Kunzite strode in. There was a look of fierce determination on his face and in a fluid movement, he drew his sword.

In that split second, I realized what I could do to help Usagi.

And Kunzite was going to help me accomplish that.

Straightening, I prepared to meet his challenge.

The scenes from this chapter are taken from Episodes 38-39 of the PGSM Live Action.

Chapter 19 AGAINST ALL ODDS

"Kunzite! I know you're bent on revenge. I will give you the chance, but you'll have to give me time."

I concentrated on making my tone a commanding one. The more I remembered, the more easily I was able to slip into the role as their prince. I was not lying either. I would give him the chance at the right moment.

"Time?" Kunzite was incredulous.

"Yes. If I can defeat you with my sword, you'll have to work for me temporarily." I was gambling. From what I could remember of our past lives and from our battles at that time, I had not once been able to win. But I was learning from each duel, and I was determined. "What do you say?"

"Certainly," Kunzite smirked, "But don't forget, you've always lost to me. Don't you remember?"

"No," I was confident, "I only look to the future."

With that, I shimmered into my armour and took on a combative stance.

"We'll finish this before Beryl can intervene again!" Kunzite growled.

The fight that ensued was fierce. Kunzite was a dangerously skilled swordsman and he seemed to know all my weak points. I was barely able to strike back at first, but with each stroke, my confidence increased as I grew more and more comfortable with my own sword. He was more skilled and experienced than me, but I was swifter and using the cane during my days of being Tuxedo Mask gave me some unusual ideas in using the sword. Kunzite was confused with my strange feints, which slowed down his own attacks. Making use of every advantage I had, I was holding my own when a sudden sharp blow from his sword sent me sprawling to the ground.

My shoulder throbbed as it hit the ground with great force. As I watched Kunzite move towards me for the final kill, I despaired for a moment. But then I was reminded of why I was doing that.

It will not end like this. I thought grimly to myself. I will protect Usagi and the past will absolutely not repeat itself!

Twisting myself up from the ground, I warded off Kunzite's sword with my own before giving him a shove with my foot.

As he stumbled back from my unexpected maneuver, I took advantage of the pause in his attacks and swiftly slashed at him with my sword. A gash appeared on his arm.

Kunzite glared at me, incredulous at his own defeat.

I breathed hard as I looked back at him, scarcely believing my own victory as well.

But I won, in a fair duel, and regardless of how much Kunzite had changed from his past life, he was essentially still a principled man. No matter how reluctant, he had given his word and he would keep it.

And so, I gave my first order.

"Kunzite. I want you to help me attack the princess."

He was astounded.

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After Kunzite, the other two were not a problem. Zoisite was loyal to me while Jadeite would do anything that would achieve Beryl's aim. Summoning the rest of the Shitennou, we shimmered to where Usagi was.

She was surprised to see me and involuntarily stepped towards me.

I stopped her advance by pointing my sword at her direction.

"Usagi. From now on, I'm your enemy!"

Her eyes widened with shock. "Why...? What's this?" she whispered, bewildered.

"The reason for the destruction of Earth in our past lives - do you already know the reason?"

Her face lowered in guilt. "Yes, in my past life, I..." Sorrow laced her voice.

It hurt to watch her distressed over something that was not her fault, but I had to push on, "The Ginzuishou will bring disaster to earth. We cannot let this planet be destroyed. This time is just to let you know that, the next time we meet, we'll be battling to our deaths."

Watching her flinch at my words was worse than torture. But I steeled myself. I had to do this if there was to be any hope of protecting this planet and her. Giving her a last look, we shimmered out.

*****************************************************************************************************
When I got back to the Dark Kingdom, Mio was waiting for me in my room. Her smile had been gloating as she said, "So, you've declared battle against Usagi-chan after all. I wonder if she is crying?"

Her words pierced my heart, but I knew Usagi better than her. She was strong, and had more courage than anyone I knew. She would be able to go through this. I believed that she could get past this obstacle. We would make it happen.

And the only way we could make it happen was if Usagi could control herself and not let the princess release the power of the Ginzuishou. I had to help her achieve that control. To do that, she would first need to conquer her weakness. Her weakness was me.

In the past life, it had been my death that had been the trigger for the princess to release the full power of the Ginzuishou. In this lifetime, I would have to make sure that no matter what happened to me, or to her, she would not do that again. Not under any circumstances.

I would need to attack Usagi relentlessly, so that she could learn to control herself under all sorts of conditions and for that, I needed the Shitennou's help. That was my plan. It was a plan that I was determined would work.

***********************************************************************************************
I did not know how much time I had and so I decided to carry out my plan as soon as possible. Kunzite was sent out the next day to help me attack Usagi. It was a success. The youma led Sailor Moon right to me while Kunzite had made sure she was isolated by distracting the other senshi.

"Mamoru!" She was so excited, so joyful to see me that my willpower nearly reduced to frayed shreds. Only years of practice in keeping my true feelings and emotions in check allowed me to keep my mask on.

"I've told you! Don't let down your guard with me!" My tone was strange, the cadence strained as I struggled to appear hostile.

She cringed noticeably at my words, yet she did not move. I could still see hope in her eyes. She still believed in me.

My heart twisted as I gritted my teeth and abruptly, moved to attack Usagi. It was one of the hardest thing I had to do. It felt wrong, sacrilegious even but I did not have a choice. It seemed the story of my life - being forced to do what I did not want to.

Out of reflex, she dodged, disbelief written in her eyes. I did not give her time to react, but continued to assail her with blows. She evaded each of them, but refused to fight back, until a well-aimed slash threw her off her rhythm and she fell to the ground. She recovered her balance immediately, landing lithely on her feet, but her features were twisted with shock and pain.

"Mamoru. Is this real? You're not really fighting me, are you? Mamoru?" Desperation coloured Usagi's tone, even as her eyes filled with doubt and her breath hitched in her throat.

I was not able to speak. I feared that once I opened my mouth, my true feelings would pour out. My much battered heart throbbed painfully.

I clenched my hands even tighter around the sword pommel as I stared at Usagi. It was then a flash of light at her bodice caught my attention. The pocket watch I gave her. She had it on with her.

It took every ounce of willpower I had to suppress the emotions I felt when I saw the watch, as memories of our perfect day together filled my mind. I had to stop the flood before I lost control totally and hence reaching blindly with my sword, I struck at the watch in a swift movement.

As the watch fell, Usagi gasped loudly and an expression of agony distorted her face. The same agony ripped through my chest even when I steeled myself to remark emotionlessly to her, "This is my answer."

At my words, Usagi gave me one pain-filled glance before suddenly, her whole face went blank. A strange golden light began to glow.

Usagi was once again using the powers of the Ginzuishou. Tremors in the ground started, becoming stronger and stronger with each minute.

Earthquake! She's causing an earthquake! I have to stop her! "Usagi!" I tried to reach her side but the earthquake slowed me down.

"Shingo! Shingo's in danger! Someone, help him!" All of a sudden, Usagi's voice became panicked. She was seeing her brother fall off a bridge.

This is it! I have to stop her now. This is why I'm doing this!

"Usagi! Calm down! Stop what you're doing! Usagi!" I had to believe she could stop it. She had to be able to stop the powers of the Ginzuishou. But I was not able to totally suppress the panic that threaded its way into my voice.

"Stop! Please! Please..." Usagi's voice broke as she pleaded with the Ginzuishou.

Usagi. I'm here with you. You can do this.

I desperately wanted my thoughts to reach her, to give her the support she needed.

All of a sudden, the tremors stopped and Usagi sighed, collapsing to the ground in exhaustion.

She did it! I exulted.

But it was not the end. I hknew there were more battles ahead and she needed to be prepared for such a situation again. Taking a deep breath, I walked slowly towards her.

"Usagi." She looked up at me with such a defeated expression that I was almost not able to go on. "Maybe one day, we will really have to battle to our deaths. I have to take such extreme measures, perhaps even more drastic ones in the future... to ensure the safety of this planet."

Her dazed eyes blinked several times.

"Usagi. The one you have to believe in is not me. It's you yourself!"

My tone softened. After putting her through so much agony, I had to convey what I felt to her. Kneeling next to her, I lifted my hand to her cheek before lightly caressing the soft skin there with the back of my fingers. "I believe in you. I believe that we will be reunited one day."

Usagi's eyes shimmered with tears as she held onto my hand with both of hers. We stayed there for one perfect moment before I pulled gently away. It was time to leave.

As I walked away from her once again, I held on to that sliver of hope. It would be the only thing that would keep me going.

The scenes from this chapter are taken from Episodes 41-42 of the PGSM Live Action.

Chapter 20 PORTRAIT OF DEATH

The feeling of dread overcame me suddenly. In that instant, I knew that Usagi had once again made use of the Ginzuishou and the Earth itself was groaning under the overwhelming power. Ice ran cold in my veins even as I tried to stifle my initial impulse to go to her. I had to trust that she could control herself. Regardless of how much I wanted to, I could not be there for her all the time. I had told her that I would believe in her and I would do that.

In a few minutes, the feeling of dread passed and I knew Usagi had succeeded. But the momentary relief I felt then did nothing to allay my fears for her and the extreme test of willpower that she had to undertake. I wished I could do more for her.

Just then, Jadeite came to my room.

"Master." He had a peculiar expression on his face.

I turned to him. Without warning, he abruptly planted a black crystal against my chest.

I was rigid with the sudden pain that erupted from the contact, and my legs gave way with the unexpected loss of strength. The excruciating pain increased as the crystal wormed itself into my body. It was as if I was being flayed with white-hot fire, burning me alive.

"I don't care what happened in the past. I am only loyal to Queen Beryl." Jadeite declared tonelessly. The feeling of betrayal only made the pain more unbearable.

The torture seemed to go on endlessly, until with a last sharp throb, it finally ended. The crystal was completely absorbed into my body. I collapsed onto the floor, drained. It was only when I managed to catch my breath and struggled to stand again that I notice that Jadeite had left. Mio was there instead, smirking at me from her position on my bed.

"Mamoru. This is what happens when you don't listen to Queen Beryl." Her tone was mocking. "From now on, any time that you think of Usagi-chan, you will feel that same pain again. More than that..." she trailed off, looking at me to ensure that she had my full attention, "look at that painting on the wall."

I stared at the direction she pointed at, and finally saw a painting that had not been there before, hanging above the fireplace. It was an oil painting of a forest but there was a strange white smudge of paint beneath the foliage of trees. Icy tendrils of foreboding slithered into my consciousness.

Mio laughed, a playful sound that was totally incongruous with the situation, before deciding to continue, "That is you, Mamoru. The pain you feel is the pain of your life force being sucked away. Into this painting. You do know you have to stop being so naughty, don't you?" Her tone was one of an adult admonishing a young child.

I gritted my teeth and refused to reply, my fists clenched in impotent fury.

Mio's laugh had echoed in the hallway as she skipped away. I laid flat on my back, as my panting slowed and strength slowly returned. Mio's words reverberated through my mind.

Stop thinking of Usagi? Is that even possible?

I was still weak the next day, recovering from the effects of the life-sucking crystal when I felt Usagi again. The familiar dread spread through my heart, but it was not as strong as the previous premonition. Instead, I sensed danger.

Usagi's in danger.

There was no time to think; following my link to her, I simply teleported to where she was. An energy blast from the youma was heading towards her, and she was going to take the blow, unable to defend herself as she focused on keeping down the power of Ginzuishou.

I warded off the blast. She looked up, surprised at my appearance. The Ginzuishou's power had finally been suppressed.

"That's the way. Control your power." I was proud of her and her face lit up in joy.

At that moment, Mio appeared. She was forever trailing me, spying on me.

"Mamoru-kun. I think I've already told you what would happen if you go near Usagi-chan again, didn't I?" Her voice was full of innocence as she sauntered towards us. By then, I had been with her often enough to know that she was at her worst when she was pretending to be nice. I tensed.

Sure enough, I was brought down to my knees once again as the agonizing pain struck me in its full intensity, but what had pained me more was the look on Usagi s face as Mio cheerily explained to her what was happening to me.

"The more he thinks about you, the faster his life will be sucked away. If he dies, it's going to be your fault, Usagi-chan." Mio looked positively gleeful at the prospect.

"Mamoru!" Usagi's expression fragmented into one of terror and fear.

"Usagi! Don't... bother... about me. Be... careful!" I managed to gasp. I wanted to warn her, in case my agony triggered off the Ginzuishou again and I wanted to reassure her that it was not her fault, but before I could do so, I was teleported back to the Dark Kingdom, where I thrashed about in bed as I struggled with the pain.

When the pain finally subsided and I laid on the bed, gasping for breath, my eyes sought out the painting.

The white smudge had increased in size. Narrowing my eyes, I decided on one thing.

I am not losing to that.

And that was a vow to both myself and her.

The scenes from this chapter are taken from Episode 43 of the PGSM Live Action.

Chapter 21 LAST REDEMPTION

I was rudely woken up from my sleep when I felt the dread again.

Usagi!

And again, I felt the shrieking of the Earth. Then, a jolt of insight electrified my brain.

It was not the princess. Usagi was the one who was causing all the negative power rampaging the Earth. Her fury and anguish, all her negative emotions had affected the Ginzuishou, which in turn affected Metallia and increased the evil power on Earth.

I have to help her. I have to stop her.

Struggling to my feet, I dragged my battered body to Beryl. I had to convince her to let me see Usagi.

"Let me see the princess!" I demanded as soon as I caught sight of Beryl.

"Endymion. Why should I? I know you are not able to kill the princess. That much is obvious."

"There's no need to! I can calm her down! I just need some time. So, please, for a while, stop the power of the crystal in me. I need to be able to function!" It was immensely difficult to keep the desperation from my voice, but I forced myself to speak as persuasively as I could, drawing upon every last vestige of strength that I had left.

"No!" Beryl screeched. "Don't you know why I'm taking your life?! I will not let the princess have you again! If she has your heart, then I'll have your life!"

I forced myself not to shudder at her words, to think logically.

"I will definitely come back!" I vowed, trying to convince her, "If I wanted to escape... I would already have left long before this."

"Enough! Go back to your room!" At that, I was sent back to my room. I snarled in frustration even as my exhausted body dropped onto the bed like a dead weight.

My thoughts churned furiously as I attempted to devise a way to help Usagi, but all that was in vain if I could not even have strength to walk properly, much less teleport to her. I was feeling my life force draining away with each passing day until I was almost even too weak to stand.

And then, the familiar dread in my heart again but I was not able to help her. It was hopeless and I was beginning to despair.

Just then, Mio had came into my room. I would never have imagined her to be the bearer of good news, but miraculously, she was one.

"Mamoru-kun, you can go see the princess. I will suppress the power of the crystal in you. In fact, Queen Beryl will even remove the crystal from you if you're good."

I was taken aback. It was such a turnaround from my previous encounter with Beryl that I had trouble believing my luck.

"After all, we can't have Usagi-chan destroying the Earth now, could we? Before we can even rule over it?"

That was Beryl's true motive. I could not care less as long as it got me to Usagi. But of course, there had been the sting in the honey.

Mio warned, "This is the last time you'll be seeing the princess though, Mamoru-kun. And if you do not get back at the appointed time, your life will be forfeit. Queen Beryl will not remove the crystal and it will suck away at your life force more than ever. You can accept that, can't you?" Her overly-bright smile was back in place. Beryl, in her limited or perhaps, non-existent understanding of love, thought that I needed an incentive to follow her orders. She would never understand that I would willingly do anything that could help Usagi.

The appointed time was before sunset. I nodded, anxious to see Usagi and with that, Mio delivered me to her.

She was in her Princess Sailor Moon mode, but her transformation dissolved as soon as she saw me.

When she saw Mio following behind me though, an unexpected expression crossed her face. It was an expression of hostility... of hatred. It was worse than I thought. My Usagi had only loved before but because of me, she learnt to hate as well.

"Mio. You're our enemy as well, aren't you?" she stated harshly.

Chills ran down my spine as I watched her glare at Mio. There was no room for compassion or understanding in her cold eyes. Abruptly, I pulled her away. I could not bear to have her so bitter anymore. I had to do something.

I brought her to the only place I could think of at that time - the place where I first realized that I had fallen in love in Usagi. The nearby beach.

As the sea breeze blew across our faces, I was reminded once more of that perfect day together. Before everything turned complicated with the revelation of our past lives.

Usagi was also caught up with remembrances as she snaked her arms around my waist from behind me and pressed her cheek to my back. I clasped my hands around hers, reveling in the moment but after a while, she abruptly let go off me and said anxiously, "Are you all right? Why are you here? Didn't she say that the crystal will suck away your life if you come near me again?"

I was drawn back to reality.

"It's not a problem anymore. The crystal's gone." I replied evasively. There was an odd tremor in my voice that I hoped she didn't notice. It was not a total lie. If I got back before sunset, Beryl had said she would remove the crystal. It was more important to reassure her.

"Really?" Usagi was overjoyed. "I've been working hard as well, trying to keep the Ginzuishou under control."

And that was why I was there.

"Then, what happened just now?" I questioned her.

"Ermmm... well, although I've been trying really hard, the princess is sometimes stronger than I am." Usagi looked shame-faced.

I realized that she did not understand the real situation and turned to her, determined to explain what had been happening when a youma came crashing in. I was frustrated beyond measure even as we both transformed.

Why at this time? When I have so little time left with her?!

The youma was an immensely powerful one and it took all our strength to battle it. In the middle of it, Usagi's bottled up emotions came to a boiling point. She grabbed my sword and plunged it viciously into the youma.

"This is unforgiveable! Youma! And Queen Beryl!" She began to glow golden.

"Calm down! Usagi!" I hurried to her side, urging her to release her anger. Desperation was thick in my voice. She startled at my voice and managed to suppress the power.

It took us a lot more time to finally vanquish the youma and when we finally did, it was near sunset.

"If you do not get back at the appointed time, your life will be forfeit. Queen Beryl will not remove the crystal and it will suck away at your life force more than ever. You can accept that, can t you?"

Mio had told me that and I had no doubt that Beryl would carry out her threat. But... I was not been able to leave Usagi. Not after witnessing her fury and hatred, and her struggle to contain the Ginzuishou. So, yes, I was able to accept the consequences. I had to let her know what was going on and this was the only chance I would get. Beryl would not let me see Usagi again. I would not be able to get back on time. If it were to be the last moments of my life, I planned to spend it all with Usagi.

As I stared at her intensely, memorizing her every feature, I wondered once again how it was that a small slip of a girl had stolen so completely into my heart. Catching my intent gaze, she looked at me, puzzled. Unable to contain myself, I pulled her roughly into my arms, holding her close.

"Usagi, listen to me... the one causing Metallia to become so strong now is not the princess! It's... you."

At that, Usagi gasped in surprise, stiffening in my arms before pulling away to face me. Her eyes flickered to me uncertainly.

I hated to cause her even more burden, to make her feel guilty, but it was necessary to let her know, and so I plowed on.

"It's your extreme hatred that's affecting the Ginzuishou. Usagi, don't become like Beryl! Don't be trapped by your tragic past life. No matter what happened, the only thing you need to do is to smile. Like you've been doing all along. Smiling like a baka... aren't you best at it?" I tried to make her smile.

Catching on to my attempt, Usagi managed a watery smile, before trying to lighten the mood herself by saying, "You don't need to add on that part about being a baka." It was a poor imitation of our usual playful banter, clearly not successful at all on both our parts.

She turned somber again quickly, weighed down by all the problems. Hesitantly, she whispered, "Mamoru, you still can't come back yet, can you?" Her eyes held on to hope by the tiniest thread.

I turned my back to her, not wanting to see her dashed hopes. What can I say? That I'm going to die? It will only make things worse.

I was only able to deflect her query. Looking deeply into her eyes, I stated, "Don't worry. My heart will never leave you. My heart will forever be with you." It was nothing less than the truth.

Her eyes brimmed with emotions. There was no need for further words as I wrapped my arms gently around her, before freeing one hand to lift up her chin.

As she tilted her chin upwards, I leaned down slowly and pressed my lips to hers gently. It was our very first kiss and lasted but for a moment, yet it was sweeter than anything I could have imagined and all the more poignant because of all we'd gone through. Still going through.

Her cheeks took on the color of cherry blossoms by the time I straightened up. It was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. Not wanting to let go just yet, I held her close once more, laying my cheek against the top of her head. She sighed contentedly.

I wanted to preserve this memory, the way she looked, the way she felt in my arms, the way she sounded, to remember when death came to claim me.

However, as soon as I thought of that, I decided to banish that emotion and every other dark shadow lurking in my mind; I was determined that we would enjoy our last time together and nothing was to disturb it, not if I could help it.

"Usagi, I have a little more time here. What do you feel like doing?"

She lifted her head from my shoulder and her whole face lighted up.

****************************************************************************
We spent the rest of our time frolicking about the beach like a couple of children. Usagi laughed once more, a joyful tinkling sound that filled my heart with joy. And I chuckled at her antics, drinking in her vivacious spirit. Until I was finally summoned back by an irate Beryl.

Yet whatever was going to happen, I knew I would accept my fate with equanimity. As long as she retained that laugh, everything I did would be worth it.

The scenes from this chapter are taken from Episodes 44-46 of the PGSM Live Action.

Chapter 22 SACRIFICE

As soon as I got back to the Dark Kingdom, I collapsed from the sheer agony of the sensation rippling through my chest. At least Zoisite was there to help me to the bed.

"Master... why don't you at least pretend to obey Beryl? At this rate, your life..." he could not go on. I knew he was frustrated with me, perhaps even disappointed in me, and I felt that I had let him down in a way. But there were some things I could not give in to. It did not take long for me to black out from the extreme pain.

***************************************************************
When I next woke, the pain lessened, but was not totally gone and I was able to concentrate on things other than the pain. That was when I felt Kunzite's disappearance from the Dark Kingdom.

Ever since I went to the Dark Kingdom, combined with the return of some of my memories from our previous lives, my bond with the Shitennou had strengthened. That bond was tainted with Beryl's corrupting influence over the Shitennou, but I could feel their life force and mostly knew where they were. It was similar to the link I shared with Usagi. Nephrite's presence had disappeared since the day Beryl forced him to commit suicide. And at this moment, Kunzite's presence felt very far away, certainly not in the vicinity of the Dark Kingdom.

Zoisite confirmed that fact when he entered my room.

"Kunzite has decided to break away from Beryl's control," he explained to me.

I hazarded a reason. "To take revenge on me?"

"Kunzite had borne too much in these two lives that we had led. He had suffered terribly. This time, let me follow Master instead."

There was a strange inflection to his tone, as if he were hiding something from me, but I was not about to make him tell me if he didn't want to. Instead, there were things I wanted to let him know.

"Zoisite, I did not honour Beryl's bargain with me and returned late. You must be disappointed in me."

"No. My only wish is that Master treasures his own life." I only felt guiltier. He was only thinking about my safety but I could not even assure him of that. I would still make the same choice even if I had another chance. I owed him a rationale for my actions.

"Zoisite. I know you only want the best for me, but certain things are just too important. If there's something that's worth sacrificing your life for, then perhaps your life may not be your priority after all." I hoped that he could understand. "Of course, I don't want to die. But there is nothing else that I care for as much as certain people. That's why I'm here in the first place." Because Zoisite, you're one of them.

"You also have some things that you're willing to sacrifice for, don't you? I appealed to him, "So, you shouldn't give up too, Zoisite!"

I got through to him, more than I knew. He left my room, looking thoughtful. I did not know realize then that he had made a bargain with Beryl, to kill Usagi in exchange for my life and had sent youmas after Usagi. After listening to me though, he realized what was most important to me, and left to protect Usagi.

He never made it back.

The instant he died, I felt it. It was as if a blunt dagger was sawing its way through my heart.

Master. No matter what happens, I will always stand on your side. Kunzite. Nephrite. Jadeite... Please return to Master's side once again.

I heard his parting words before his presence disappeared and I could not feel him anymore. My throat constricted as I fought a losing battle to contain my grief. Zoisite. One of my Shitennou. My guard. My protector. My friend.

He was the only one of the Shitennou who had been loyal from start to the end. He tried to protect me as much as he could, even when his own life had been at stake. And he gave up his life to protect my love, despite his antagonism towards Usagi, because he knew it was what I would have wanted. I owed him too much in both lives and it seemed that I would never have the chance to repay him.

Zoisite. My head dropped into my hands and I mourned for him.

A few days later, I got used to the more or less constant pain in my chest and began to plan my next line of action. Spotting the painting on the wall, I noted that the white smudge had expanded and was taking on the shape of a silhouette. I had a grim hunch that the silhouette would be me in a few days' time, at the rate that I had been feeling worse steadily. But I was not about to lose my life for nothing. I felt Metallia's power growing exponentially the time I had been in the Dark Kingdom. If I had only days left, I wanted to bring Metallia down with me. I was not going to let her bring harm to Usagi or the Earth. And the painting gave me an idea.

If it works, I will have Metallia right where I want her.

It was then Mio appeared in my room without warning again. But this time, she brought someone else with her. She had kidnapped Hino Rei. Sailor Mars.

It was out of fun or perhaps sheer boredom. But it did let me know how Usagi was doing.

"She's doing what you told her to. She's smiling... forcing herself to smile all the time," Rei informed me in a grave tone.

My heart twisted into painful shapes.

"For Usagi's sake, let's both get out of here!" Rei was always the decisive one.

Mio laughed as she made fun of Rei, no doubt having much entertainment at our expense, but I had learned to ignore her snipes by then.

"No," I replied her calmly, "I will stay here." I had my own reasons to stay in the first place and with my life ending in days, I had even more of a reason not to leave.

Rei was furious. "There's no need for you to stay in this house made up of past life's ghosts!"

Mio retorted immediately, "House made up of past life's ghosts? Then you're a ghost too!"

"I'm not!," Rei cried vehemently, "I've decided to not bother with my past life any longer!"

I detected an undercurrent of animosity in her tone when she talked about our past lives. It seemed an all-consuming topic for her. I knew that feeling. I went through a similar stage when I had decided to abandon my link with the past life. It was something I could share with her at least, and perhaps she would be much less bitter if she realized sooner than I did what our past lives meant to us.

"The past life is not something that will disappear when you ignore it. We all bear the burden of our past lives," I advised her softly.

"Even you are held back by the past life!" Rei accused in a harsh tone.

"No. I will cut my ties with the past life. But that's not because I'm ignoring it or that I'm bound by it. It's for the present lives that we're leading now!

Her eyes widened as she took in my meaning.

Jadeite chose that moment to turn up. My room was fast turning crowded.

"What's this? Why is there a Sailor Senshi here?"

"Oops... we've been found out..." Mio said in a sing-song manner before teleporting out. Jadeite immediately started to attack. I defended Rei as much as I could before a break in the attack let me use the last of my remaining strength to teleport her back to Japan.

An unbearable pain pierced my chest right after that. I knew instinctively that instead of days, I had perhaps only hours left.

The scenes from this chapter are taken from Episodes 47-48 of the PGSM Live Action.

Chapter 23 DAY OF DESTINY (PART I)

It was much later that I finally recovered from the latest bout of pain. I knew I did not have much time left and resolved to act on my plan. I was not going to let Beryl rule the Earth nor was I going to let the Earth be destroyed.

I marched purposefully to Metallia's cave. Beryl was there but I ignored her, and instead made a beeline for the pulsing energy that was Metallia.

"Endymion! What are you doing?!"

"I'm going to get Queen Metallia's powers, of course," I smirked as I easily dodged her energy blast at me while forming a counter attack that forced Beryl to move away from Metallia. Adrenalin pumping through me negated the loss of strength I had been feeling since the crystal was first planted in me.

Upon hearing my proclamation, Beryl burst out laughing. "What?! What can you do? You're only an empty shell right now!"

That was the basis of my plan. "All the better to absorb Metallia in, don't you think?"

"You're an idiot! If you do that, your body will be taken over by Metallia!" Beryl sneered.

"Don't compare me with you. I am the Prince of Earth! What the Princess of the Moon had been doing, I'm sure I can do it too. I will suppress Metallia!"

Even as I spoke, I was moving towards Metallia and with a sudden leap, I jumped directly into the heart of the sphere of energy. Beryl was too late to stop me.

It was horrific. My body felt as though it was being burnt by the fires of hell. The pain I had suffered from the life-sucking crystal was nothing compared to that. I did not know how long the process went on, but I knew the instant it stopped. However, the momentary relief I experienced was replaced by something else. I felt another presence in my body. An all-consuming evil presence.

Metallia.

Absorbing Metallia inside of me was beyond horror, beyond description. Her churning mindless thoughts focused on one thing, and one thing only - her voracious appetite to destroy, to consume all in her path, until there was no more. And for that, she used all means to force me to her will. She dredged up all the painful memories I had in both my lives, all my insecurities I'd ever experienced, all the anger I'd ever felt, all the fears, jealousies, all the negative emotions she could find, and made me suffer through each and every one of them. It was designed to break me, to snap my sanity, to bring me under her total control. I endured the torture for as long as I could. I fought to regain control... fought harder than I ever did in my whole life. The only thing that tied me to my sanity was Usagi.

Usagi. She was my sole refuge, the only oasis in the desert of wrath I found myself in, the only person in my memory able to subdue the fires of rage and frustration smoldering deep within my being. I focused on her, on my memories of the time we spent together, on that day on the beach until slowly, like someone who had been submerged underwater for a long period of time, I was able to surface again. I was able to take control. I succeeded in suppressing Metallia for the moment.

I knew it would not be long. Metallia would not be subdued for long and I knew what I had to do. But before that, I first wanted to fulfill a selfish wish to see her once more.

The moment I thought of that, I teleported myself to Japan almost instantly. The power I had in me had been immense. I felt invincible and for a second, dallied with the idea of taking over the world. I certainly felt powerful enough to do that, to consume the whole world. Then, I forcibly stopped myself from continuing that train of thought. It was not me talking. It was Metallia. It took every ounce of willpower I had to rein in the overwhelming hatred and uncontrollable greed I felt.

By the time I became aware of my surroundings, I realized that I was in a shopping district. The enormous screen in front of me was broadcasting a piece of news that caught my attention immediately: Aino Minako's death. The broadcaster was announcing that the idol-singer had been suffering from a serious illness and had just died.

Aino Minako. Venus. She's dead? Oh no, Usagi...

It was then I spotted Usagi walking towards my direction. As always, my link with Usagi had led me unerringly to her.

She was surprised to see me, but there was a deep sorrow etched on her face, making it difficult for her to express the happiness she usually felt upon seeing me.

I wanted to console her. "Usagi. I know about Venus..."

She nodded, unable to speak. Her anguish was palpable, but the corners of her mouth twitched as she tried to force herself into a smile. It was worse than watching her cry.

She's smiling... forcing herself to smile all the time.

Rei had told me that and I was witnessing that for myself. I was an idiot! What kind of idiotic advice had I given her?!

Instead of dampening the rage, the anguish that I felt for Usagi fed the white-hot flame of rage that was simmering beneath the surface, straining against the chains of my self-control. Only the concern that I had for Usagi overpowered the rage.

Enclosing her within my arms, I admonished her, "Baka! Just cry! You don't have to pretend anymore when you're with me!" That was the release she needed. With a heart-wrenching wail, she sobbed brokenly on my shoulder as I held her close.

The huge shuddering sobs that racked her small frame was testimony to the stress and misery she had been holding in her. I could only whisper useless words of consolation. Only after she calmed herself down did I update her on the current situation in the Dark Kingdom.

"You mean... Metallia is in you right now?" She was horrified.

"Yes. But that doesn't mean that I've become a demon. It's just that Metallia's trapped inside my body now."

"Would you be all right?" That was Usagi's central concern.

"Yes," I murmured but did not look into her eyes. I wanted to let her know something else. "Usagi, you don't have to suppress your power anymore. You can use the Ginzuishou without any fear now. Metallia... leave her to me. I will suppress her!"

It felt wonderful to be able to lift the burden from Usagi. Even if Metallia shrieked her defiance at me from deep within my body at the same time.

Usagi did not look convinced and so I baited her. "What? Don't you trust me?"

Her response was as I expected. "No, of course not..." she hastily tried to reassure me and quickly changed the topic, "So, the Earth would not be destroyed?"

"Yes. Queen Beryl should no longer have the power to destroy Earth."

Usagi's face broke into a grin. "That's wonderful!" Then she looked at me hopefully. "Does that mean that Mamoru, you don't have to go back to the enemy anymore?"

I could not bear to wipe that smile off her face. Instead, I smilingly told her, "Yes, of course. From tomorrow onwards, we can meet whenever we want again."

Usagi's grin stretched so impossibly wide that it almost split her face into half. Her whole being glowed with so much joy that I ached to share the light. It made the constant contest of willpower with Metallia bearable.

Yet I could not keep on lying to her. It would not be fair if I did not at least give her some form of warning, in case my plan failed in some way. I struggled on how to approach the topic as I was sending her back home on my motorbike.

"Usagi. If someone else who wants to destroy the Earth appears again, you will defeat him, won't you?"

"Of course. If I can use the Ginzuishou, it won't be a problem," Usagi replied cheerily as she tightened her grip around my waist.

I stopped the motorbike near her home but watching her walk the short distance back to her house was not easy. I was not willing to let her go, knowing that it would really be for the last time. As she turned to say goodbye at her doorstep, I could not help but pull her back to me again. Wrapping my hands around her, I kissed her lightly on the lips before letting her go once more. Not unlike the first time, Usagi blushed and shyly murmured a soft goodbye before stepping through the doorway. I gazed at her until she completely disappeared from my view.

Goodbye, Usagi.

Then I squared my shoulders, It was time to carry out what I had set out to do from the first moment I stepped into Metallia's cave.

Closing my eyes, I located where Kunzite was and teleported myself to him. It was time to fulfill my promise to him.

The scenes from this chapter are taken from Episode 48 of the PGSM Live Action.

Chapter 24 DAY OF DESTINY (PART II)

Kunzite was where I expected to find him. At the edge of the Dark Kingdom. He snarled at me and prepared to battle once he noticed my presence.

"Kunzite. I once promised to give you a chance to take revenge. This is your chance."

His eyes were fierce as he glared at me. There was no need for further words. I wanted to give him the fight he wanted. It was my fault that he had suffered so much pain and if killing me would lessen his agony, I would give it willingly. It was also my chance to rid the Earth of Metallia once and for all. If my life was to be forfeit, I wished that it could be taken in a more meaningful way than taking my own life.

The fight was ferocious, as Kunzite bore down on me with all the rage he held within him, while my wish to give him a fair fight made me ward off each blow with my full strength. Kunzite proved to be the better fighter in the end as with one final swing of his sword, my own sword went flying past the trees.

This is the end.

I waited for my execution as Kunzite poised himself for the final kill. It was then I felt Metallia's power slipped from my control as her survival instincts warred with my own desire to end our lives. Primal urges thrashed against my wish to remain still, to wait for death, begging for a violent response to this threat to our lives.

Kunzite paused mid-slash. He felt the power. His eyes widened as realization dawned upon him.

"What was that?! That is... Master... you're not thinking... you want to die together with Metallia?!"

"It has to be done." My reply was curt.

"Master... you haven't changed at all." Frustration coloured his tone. Looking at me, Kunzite's gaze turned grim. He knew what I had decided and he was ready to perform his task. During that instant, we were comrades once more, just as we had been in our past lives.

Kunzite. I'm sorry for making you do this. Forgive me.

I closed my eyes.

All of a sudden, I was shoved to one side and I stumbled onto the ground. My eyes snapped open to witness a sword being plunged into Kunzite's body.

"Jadeite! You!" The last of my Shitennou. His betrayal was absolute. He had received orders from Beryl to kill me, and had bided his time while Kunzite and I fought. But Kunzite had pushed me aside. He was willing to kill me but his instincts took over when I was in danger. He used his own body to protect me. Jadeite stood by in confusion, in a state of shock. He couldn't understand why Kunzite had shielded me.

I couldn't understand it either.

"Kunzite! Why...!" I rushed over to him and futilely tried to staunch the blood gushing from his wound.

"Master... in the past life... you abandoned the planet... for the princess... but now... you're ready to give up your life for Earth... to die together with Metallia..." His voice was weak as his life slipped away in front of my eyes. I clenched my teeth. It was not supposed to be like this. Kunzite was supposed to live a normal life after I was gone.

"Jadeite! Your Master is not Beryl! Our Master... is right in front... of us..." With that, Kunzite faded away and a kunzite stone appeared before me.

After a moment's hesitation, Jadeite chose ran away.

"KUNZITE!" Agony ripped through me. The Shitennou. My friends. Nephrite. Zoisite. And now Kunzite. I no longer had the strength to endure the pain. I tried to hold it in as best as I could but Metallia was strong as well as devious. She sensed my weakening and unleashed her power on me. The onslaught of negativity strained the walls I had built to contain all the volatile emotions within me. I could do nothing to stop the explosion.

But there was something I could do.

I ran to my sword.

"Mamoru!" It could not be. But it was. Usagi.

Mio had been taken her here. It was the worst thing that could have happened. I did not want her to see that. But I no longer had a choice. It was then or never.

I raised the sword.

"NO!" Usagi's anguish-filled cry stopped me in what was to be my final act. The moment's hesitation was what Metallia had needed. Her essence overpowered me. I was no longer myself. It was as if I had been shunted to the smallest corner of my brain. I no longer had control over my actions. I could only watch.

Images of violence filled our minds as Metallia teleported all of us to the plain meadow.

"Destroy... the... planet..." I declared in a disembodied voice that was not my own as my feet strode towards Usagi and Mio. My movements were Metallia's. She begun calculating how best to plan their demise. In horror, I struggled against the bonds that trapped me in my own body but it was to no avail. With Metallia in full control of my body, her only aim was to destroy all.

Mio was the first victim. With Metallia's full power, it was almost too easy to obliterate Mio. With one blast of power, she was gone. Her pleading and running away only fuelled Metallia's twisted sense of humour. She exulted at Mio s end.

Usagi was next.

I was powerless to help and could only look on as Usagi transformed into Sailor Moon and we began to battle. Usagi's look was one of determination. I knew her and I recognized that she was trying to use the power of the ginzuishou to help me. But it was no use. Metallia was too strong and Usagi had not had time to adjust to her power. She was not able to use the full power of the ginzuishou. Her moon rod shattered from Metallia s energy blast.

It was then the senshi arrived. But they could not stop Metallia, who deflected their powers easily and swatted them away as if they were flies. Usagi's horror as she watched her friends being pummelled was excruciating to watch.

"Mamoru... is this really... the end? I can't... I can't do it!" Usagi's cry was heart-wrenching. She fell onto the ground, her hand clutching a sword, spasms shaking through her whole body. It was my sword, from my failed attempt at suicide earlier. I knew she had remembered the question I had posed to her.

"Usagi. If someone else who wants to destroy the Earth appears again, you will defeat him, won't you?"

I did not want her to be the one. I did not want her to be in so much pain. I did not want to be the one to take the smile from her face. I knew that if she went through with it, she would never smile again. But no matter how much I had tried to avoid this fate for us, it had come to that. There was no other way.

Usagi. You have to do it. We have to protect the planet. I will not blame you in the slightest.

I tried to project my wish to her even as Metallia directed my body to stride towards Ami to deliver the killing blow.

"Stop!" Usagi screamed. She stood up, grasping onto the pommel of my sword with one hand. Metallia's attention was diverted and moved towards Usagi instead.

"Why...?" Usagi's voice broke. Silent sobs racked her whole body. "You... didn't you tell me... that we... from tomorrow onwards... we can meet... whenever we want again...?"

The small part of my essence that was not controlled by Metallia cringed at witnessing Usagi's agony. My heart shattered at her despair. I had to help her in any way I could. It was the last thing I could do for her. As Metallia readied for another blast at Usagi, I fought back with every last vestige of strength I had. It was not enough to stop Metallia, but her aim was skewed slightly and Usagi was unhurt. It gave her the time to once again call upon the power of the Ginzuishou and fill the sword with her power.

With one last bleak look at me, Usagi began to run towards me. "Mamoru!" It was a heartbroken call, one last chance to call my name.

Using the last shreds of my willpower, I threw everything I had left in me to hold off Metallia's attack on Usagi. Metallia's essence roared within me as she started to throw off my resistance. The effort to rein her in caused my body to tremble violently. It took only a few moments for Metallia to dominate once again but it was enough time for Usagi. She reached me at last and the sword plunged into my body.

The rest was darkness.

The scenes from this chapter are taken from Episode 49 of the PGSM Live Action.

Chapter 25 TWO OF US

When I next awoke, I was in a desert. Or at least, what looked like a desert. I stood up and looked around in confusion.

Why am I still alive? Or is this heaven?

It was then I heard a voice. In my head.

Endymion. Prince of Earth.

"Who's that?!" There was no one else around and I began to question my sanity.

I am the Spirit of Earth.

My jaw dropped as I tried to process the information. I did not even know such an entity existed.

I am the one who revived you. I need your help.

"My help? How can I help you? What can I possibly do that you cannot?!" I blurted in accusation. My brain was still not functioning properly then. I had an excuse. I had been dead after all.

The Moon Princess has used the Ginzuishou to destroy the planet. Everything on Earth has been obliterated. Look around you. This is what Earth looks like now. All living beings are dead. All things reduced to sand and dust.

Usagi. We did not manage to stop the destruction of the planet after all. I knew the reason. My death had probably been the trigger again.

I dropped to my knees in anguish.

But you can help to restore everything.

"What?!" I abruptly stood up as hope flared within me. "What can I do? Tell me!"

Go to the Princess. With the power of the Ginzuishou, with you, the prince of Earth, serving as a focus, she can restore everything to its original state. But there is a price. With such enormous use of power, both your lives are forfeit.

"Usagi is here?" I exclaimed in surprise before focusing on my link to her. I was able to feel the connection. I knew where she was.

"I will go to her. I know Usagi will never forgive herself if she has caused the destruction of the planet. We will both set things to right again."

Thank you.

"Just one last question. Why have you not come to me before? I didn't even know you exist."

It was not necessary for you to know. And I am not allowed to interfere except in the most desperate of situations. My task is simply to keep the planet alive so life can go on.

Even though there was no one in front of me, I bowed deeply before squaring my shoulders and setting off. It was time to find Usagi.

I found her sitting forlornly on the sand. Her wails echoed into the empty expanse of the desert. I looked upon her with mixed emotions. I had not thought that I could see her again and like a man deprived of water for days, I drunk in her appearance greedily. I could never blame her, despite what she had done. I could never bear to see her cry.

"Usagi."

She lifted her tear-soaked face and her eyes filled with desperate hope when she saw me.

"Mamoru!" She clambered up and rushed into my embrace. Sobbing brokenly, she whispered in a stricken tone, "I'm simply horrible, aren't I? We both promised to stop the destruction of the planet... but... I didn't keep my promise..."

Her whole body trembled with her distress. My heart clenched. I knew she would blame herself. Why did she, one tiny girl, have to carry the weight of the whole planet on her shoulders?

"Usagi. It's not over yet. The Ginzuishou can restore the planet. This time, let us try our best to save the planet." I told her what she had to do. She should not have to be burdened with this guilt.

"I'll do it! Whatever it takes, I'll do it!" Usagi answered without hesitation.

"But you would probably die."

"If I can exchange my life for those of others, it'll be worth it." Usagi's gaze was clear and determined.

I smiled. It was a typically Usagi answer. "Perhaps this is what we are meant to do. To be totally free of our past lives."

"For the people who died in our past lives," I added as I pulled her close, savouring the feel of her in my arms, "actually, it's my fault. I should have been able to save you from this. I'm sorry, Usagi."

"It's I who should be saying sorry," Usagi murmured. Her voice was still laced with sorrow.

She had not forgiven herself. I did not want her to end her life while feeling so sad. It was then I made a decision.

"Usagi." I paused, suddenly nervous.

"Hmm?"

"Usagi. I know this is probably not the best time and there's nobody else around and I can't provide you with any finery and it's not going to be official or recognized..." I began to babble.

Her expression was puzzled as she lifted her face from my chest.

"Usagi, what I want to say is... let's get married. Here. Now. Before we start our task. To fulfill what we couldn't in our past lives." My words tripped over one another.

Her look was one of shock before her whole face flushed a deep red.

"Yes." Her voice was so soft that I barely caught the word. But it was enough. My heart exploded with happiness. If we were to die, that was the one thing I wanted - to make her mine. We would be able to leave the earth, happy.

We went through a simple ceremony in our royal attires, simply consisting of us pledging our love to each other and I, slipping a ring on her finger. It was enough for us.

We nestled together after the ceremony, enjoying the brief respite before our task. Simply having her near me was happiness enough. My thumb traced lazy circles on the top of her hand, intertwined with mine. Surprisingly, she was the one to break the silence.

"It's time."

I looked at her and kissed her one final time before she unleashed the power of the Ginzuishou.

Everyone, I'm so sorry. I wish time will reset itself before we became the senshi. Everything would be back to what it was, but without the Dark Kingdom, without the fighting. Mamoru and I won't exist but Rei, Minako, Ami and Makoto will find each other again and be happy. No one will remember us but they are no longer lonely and Minako is healthy. The Shitennou can also live normal lives once more.

That was Usagi's wish and it was granted.

That was the last thing I remembered.

When I next woke, I was in another strange place. It was getting to be a habit. At least Usagi was beside me.

"Why?" Usagi asked. Why are we still alive? Where are we? were her unspoken queries. I was not able to answer her.

It was then footsteps sounded, a jarring note in the wide expanse of emptiness around us.

We turned to look.

Princess Serenity. Usagi's past life.

"As long as your friends still remember you, despite the spell you put on them, you can be revived. The Ginzuishou is shattered but it still has enough power to restore one person's life. Please... go back. The past life... has ended at last."

She disappeared after saying those words. My feelings was conflicted. I wanted Usagi to stay with me but I knew I could not be so selfish. Usagi could still have a full life, with her family and friends. It was what I wanted for her.

"That's wonderful, Usagi. You can go back home." I smiled as I urged her to leave.

"But, what about you, Mamoru?"

"Don't worry about me." I made sure my voice sounded normal.

"But... just me alone? I... I can't..." Usagi was on the verge of tears.

"Master."

I startled. That can't be... can it?

Turning around, I saw the Shitennou appear behind me.

"Master, this is your life force. We're here to return it back to you." Jadeite announced proudly. He had been the youngest and always the most animated. With that, they produced the painting that Beryl had used to store my life force so long ago.

"Master, with this, you can also return back to life. Please, live. We'll be waiting for you on Earth," Kunzite added.

"We'll always be with Master." That was Zoisite.

"No matter what happens, we'll always follow you," Nephrite chipped in with his usual flair.

I was overwhelmed. The Shitennou, alive once more. And no longer brainwashed. They were my friends once again.

I was not able to speak and instead turned towards Usagi. Her eyes were filled with happiness for me. She understood.

Somehow, we both knew what we had to do. Taking her hand, we ran towards the light.

*********************************************************************
EPILOGUE

We were both revived and it was a day of happiness as Usagi reunited with her friends.

It was much later that I was able to have Usagi to myself. Looking at her, I still could not totally believe that we had survived against all odds and were together again. There were so many things I wished to say at that time, but ultimately, all that I wanted to articulate was a whispered "I love you, Usagi."

She looked up at me, her face aglow with happiness. Knowing I placed that expression on her face put me on the top of the world. As her next words lifted me directly to heaven.

"I love you too, Mamoru," she murmured before burying her face in my chest, her cheeks tinted with red.

Caressing her cheek, I gently lifted her face before brushing my lips across hers. Her instant response was gratifying. Rising on her tiptoes, she linked her arms around my neck and pressed herself closer to me before responding to my kiss. Our lips met in a soft, lingering kiss.

Before I met Usagi, I had not known it was possible to feel so deeply about a person.

As I walked her towards her home, I interlaced her fingers with mine. We were going to be together and I was never letting go of her hand again.

"Are we going to have our happily ever after now?" Usagi asked before she slipped into her front door.

Yes. We'll have our happily ever after. I will make sure of that. I vowed to myself that day.

It has been four years since that day. I never did regain any more of my memory of Prince Endymion, but it does not matter anymore. My past life does not matter. I only know one fact. I am irrevocably in love with Tsukino Usagi and I will spend the rest of my life loving and protecting her. It is enough.

Tsukino Usagi. A slight girl whose head does not even reach my chin, but holds my entire existence in her hands.

A girl whom I am going to propose to tomorrow. It is time for an official wedding where I can proclaim loudly to all that she belongs to me.

Wish me luck.

A/N:

And that's the end. As I said, I wasn't too satisfied with the first version, because I started off on the wrong foot and by the time I realised it, it was too late to change. The first version's just too retrospective and takes away a lot of the immediacy of action in this fic. Hope this revised version's slightly better. ^_^

BTW, an answer to my previous question - Mamoru died 3 times in this fic... =P

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