Disclaimer: Ms. Meyer owns all.
author's note: Our Tree will alternate between the year 2000 (which for all practical purposes is present day) and years past. This story is AU, all-human.
Thanks to my beta, klarsen18! She really helped me through my writer's block with her support.
I cannot apologize enough for the lapse in posting. I hit a wall and simply needed a respite. I was so worried there would be major flouncing of Our Tree, but I hope you will stick with it! The next chapters will come more quickly, this I know.
This chapter is transitional but important...sort of a bridge chapter to the final chapters. And guess what? This is the final flash back chapter! Check out my blog (link is on profile page) to hear Alice and Jasper's song and to see a pic of "my" Jasper.
To catch you up (since it's been a month since I posted)...Edward and Bella have broken up b/c he lied to Bella about medical school admissions. She still loves him but can't be with him when she doesn't trust him. This is especially sad since Edward will be going to medical school in Dallas which is only 5 hours from Bella. Alice is majorly preggo wiht twins and she has this "distaste" for one of her docs, Jasper Hale.
Chapter 26 takes place in 1998 and flows into 1999, which willl bring us right into what is considered present day for Our Tree.
Chapter 26: My Work is Done (1998 into 1999)
My relationship with Edward did the inevitable slow fade. Neither of us was willing to out right close the book on us, so we went through the motions for several weeks—long distance as usual. Steadily, the phone calls became fewer and farther between, until they were the exception and not the rule. We both knew what lay at the end of the road, but we took our time getting there, which was much more painful than a clean break.
Finally there came a day when I just knew it was over. Over over. It was then the true grieving began, where I walked around feeling as though I'd lost an arm, or I'd been gutted. It was the strangest of things, to be in love with someone completely and fully, but to not be with him. It was of my own making, the result of my own choices, but as painful as it was, I knew it was the right decision.
I spent my days working like a dog at the hospital, picking up extra shifts when Esme was available to help with Alice, who was still bed bound. I threw myself into preparing our home for the twins that would soon make their appearance, and purchasing baby clothes and necessities. I juggled all that while making sure Alice got to her many doctors appointments and nonstress tests with Dr. Garcia and, per Alice, that judgy Dr. Hale.
She was still extremely wary of Jasper Hale, and I just couldn't wrap my brain around why. He had been nothing but kind and respectful to her, but she claimed he was only judging her, even it was "purely nonverbal."
My personal experiences with the guy, especially one interaction in particular, had revealed to me what an intuitive, sympathetic spirit he was.
One day, while Alice was undergoing her thrice weekly fetal monitoring in their office, I ran into Dr. Hale in the hallway.
"How's it going, Ms. Swan?" he said in his smooth drawly voice.
"Very well, Dr. Hale. And please, just call me Bella?"
"Absolutely," he agreed through a grin, revealing two deep dimples.
"So you're enjoying your fellowship here?"
"Oh, it's been great. Dr. Garcia is one of the best in his field. I've enjoyed his patients too…especially that Alice." The apples of his cheeks flushed crimson, and I could see it all over his face—the last part had slipped out.
"She's amazing," I smiled sympathetically. "I couldn't be prouder of how she's handled this…this curve ball."
"Well, you girls are quite a team. I can sense the depth of your friendship."
"Yep, since we were in fourth grade we've been thick as thieves."
"She's lucky to have you, Bella. I've seen girls try to go it alone. A lot of them make it, but it's really hard on them. Between you and Ms. Esme, Alice has a great support system."
"I guess she does," I replied quietly, reflecting on the truth that in actuality Alice and Esme were my support system. I couldn't imagine having made it through the break up without them.
After pausing and silently contemplating for several seconds, Dr. Hale slowly hedged, "Mind if I ask you a question of a personal nature?"
"Sure," I replied, somewhat automatically, before really considering if I minded or not.
"Seems like for about the past 3 or 4 weeks, you've been different. I can't put my finger on it, but something's changed about you, Bella. You seem…oh, I don't know, sad maybe? Is everything okay? Are you okay?" Then, becoming noticeably antsy, he added, "Is everything okay with Alice?"
"Alice is fine, Dr. Hale," I offered right off the bat, thinking he might actually be holding his breath in anticipation.
"Good," he sighed with relief. "So, is there something else going on?"
"Well, if you're asking," I paused, strangely warmed to the idea of sharing quite personal information with Dr. Jasper Hale, who for some reason felt like a friend and not just one of Alice's physicians.
"I am," he affirmed with a nod of his head.
"Well…I just went through a break up. It has me reeling, if I'm being honest. If I didn't have Alice and the twins to focus on, I feel like I might fall apart."
"That bad, huh?"
"Worse. I've known him since birth, literally. I haven't just lost a boyfriend, it's also like losing a brother…a family member…my right arm."
Dr. Hale's eyes were tight at the edges as he scanned my face. "Any chance for reconciliation?"
"Doubtful," I admitted while looking down, as my throat gathered up in a ball.
"I'm sorry, Bella. I've been there. About two years ago I went through a very painful breakup." His voice lilted the tiniest bit at the end of his sentence. I looked up and found his light blue eyes were sad and faraway.
"But," he added in a brighter tone, his eyes re-engaging with mine, "it gets better. You hurt and you hurt and then one day you can actually breathe. Another day you can smile. Then one day, you realize there's a possibility you might be happy again. That good things might actually be coming down the pike."
I repressed a grin, as I couldn't help but notice that as he spoke of being happy and good things coming, he snuck several glances in the direction of Alice's room.
"Thanks, Dr. Hale. It's nice to know others have lived to tell."
"We have and you will too," he said through a soft smile. "And please, call me Jasper. Dr. Hale is so formal. I don't know what it is, but from the moment I met you and Alice, I felt like we could be friends. At least I hoped so." He bit his lip and once again, looked toward where Alice was.
"I know exactly what you mean, Jasper."
"And Alice…would she know what I mean?" His eyes were narrowed, as he awaited my answer.
I pursed my lips, considering exactly how to respond to the guy, seeing in his earnest eyes, that my answer was paramount to him.
"Alice is pretty overwhelmed. What she's going through…it's like a huge shift for her life and the way she is used to living it. I know her well, and what I'd say to you is give her some time. Who couldn't use a friend, right?"
He pondered my answer for a beat, and then with a quick bob of his head, he said in resolute clipped tone, "Time I've got, and yes, we all need friends."
A nurse, carrying several charts, made her way to him at that point, obviously needing his attention. Jasper gave her a quick look of recognition, holding up his index finger to signal "just a second."
He turned back to me. "So, Bella, looks like I am needed. You keep your chin up, kay?"
"Will do."
"And I'll see you ladies again Friday?"
"Esme will be bringing Alice that day."
"So I'll see you next week some time. You have a good one," he called over his shoulder, as he grabbed the charts and turned his attention to the nurse.
I watched his lanky frame walk away from in the opposite direction. I leaned against the wall and thought how strange our interaction had been. He was Alice's physician, a healthcare professional providing her care, yet we'd taken our relationship to a clearly personal level in a matter of minutes. What was stranger than that was that it felt right…even inevitable, for us to relate as friends. His words, though few, had brought me great comfort. His words, though few, had also confirmed a suspicion that had been nagging at me for weeks. This confirmation was perhaps the strangest thing of all…
Dr. Jasper Hale had a thing for Alice.
My respect for Alice grew daily, just as her belly did. My tiny friend was literally all twins, spindly arms and legs with a burgeoning midsection that overtook all of her. As she approached her final weeks of carrying the girls, she sat stationed on the couch with pillows supporting her arms, ever with a huge graduated water jug beside her. She pretend-read parenting books, because that's what a soon-to be-mom is "supposed" to do, but really she mostly watched rerun after rerun of Golden Girls.
Alice was miserable, as was evident by the way she moved and positioned herself—every physical adjustment was a major feat. Yet, the girl never once complained. She carried herself with a grace that I'd never seen on her before. She was every bit the crazy, talkative friend I'd loved for many years, but there was a new edge to her that tempered her. Alice Brandon wore maturity quite well—far better than I ever imagined.
In the 37th week, Dr. Garcia decided it was time to, as he put it, meet those baby girls. Alice had continually battled blood pressure issues, among other things for most of her pregnancy. Dr. Garcia felt it was time to schedule her delivery date, feeling quite pleased—not to mention surprised-that Alice had carried the girls to week 37. She would have to have a C-Section because twin A was breech.
Alice was okay with this idea, as the idea of "squeezing two watermelons out of her vajayjay" terrified her, but the prospect of having a big scar to mar bikini season didn't thrill her either. Dr. Garcia assured her the scar would be quite low and most swimwear should cover it, but in true Alice form, she was skeptical.
On the morning of the big day, we were due at the hospital at 7:00 a.m. I walked into Alice's bedroom to find her perched on the end of her bed. One hand mindlessly traced circles over her belly, the other gripped the handle of her tomato red suitcase that sat beside her. Her dark eyes were wide and glassy. She stared ahead unseeingly, not even noticing I'd entered.
"Alice, you didn't lift that onto the bed by yourself?"
"No, pregnancy Nazi, I didn't." She employed this lovely nickname for me when I was being overbearing, which was apparently often. "I put it on the bed empty and then filled it. You'll obviously have to carry it to the car for me."
I walked over to her and kneeled down on the ground below her. I immediately begin rubbing her swollen ankles and feet. "Whatcha doing sitting here by yourself like this?"
She focused her eyes on me. "I ran out of breath. It took me like 30 minutes to put stuff in my bag because I kept having to stop to take breaks to catch a breath. On my last break, I sort of sat down and never got back up."
"I thought we had packed that thing already like three weeks ago?"
"We did, but I changed my mind about what to bring. A girl is entitled to change her mind."
"Of course, you are. You just shouldn't have exerted yourself like that."
"Come on, Hitler. We're on our way to the hospital. How much damage could I do at this point?"
I almost argued with her about that, but thought better of it. It was clear Alice had nervous energy, and bed rest had precluded the nesting activities that most pregnant women undertook. Perhaps this last minute packing surge was something she just needed to do.
"So, how are you, Al? Are you…ready?"
"It is what it is." Then she paused, jutted out her delicate chin just a tad, and in a definitive voice added, "But yes, I am ready. I am ready and today is the day I become a mom."
Something about the way she said it—the way she looked so scared but so courageous-caused a tear to spring in my eye and then jump onto my cheek.
"Indeed it is," I choked out.
"Good Lord, Bells, you're not crying already." Alice sighed out in exasperation, as her eyes honed in on the moisture trailing down my cheeks.
"I'm not," I declared, looking down and quickly wiping my traitorous tear away.
"You so are!"
I looked back up at Alice, only to find that her face was wet with tears too.
"See what you did, Bella!" She pointed exaggeratedly at her face. "We're not supposed to be crying already!"
"We aren't?"
"The crying comes later!"
"Did you read that in one of your books?" I used air quotes as I said the word read.
"Oh, Bells, shut up!" She stuck her tongue out at me playfully.
And just like always, I stuck mine right back out at her for good measure. We both laughed through our tears, which I knew was one of Alice's all time favorite emotions.
I grabbed her hands with mine and squeezed them tight. "I want you to know I'm so proud of you, Alice. And I love you so much."
She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. She clamped her eyes shut and placed a hand over her mouth. Shiny tears immediately popped out the corners of her closed lids. Half a minute later she reopened her eyes and nodded her head.
After taking a deep breath in and a deep breath out, she fixed her eyes on mine and said to me in a steadfast, yet quiet voice. "Without you I wouldn't be here."
"Alice, you—"
"Without you I wouldn't be here." She said it louder this time. "I mean it, Bella. I couldn't have faced any of it without you. I wouldn't have. If I hadn't know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my Bella would stick by me through it all, I wouldn't have had these babies."
"Alice."
"I would have gone to that clinic that gets picketed all the time, and quietly had it taken care of. And I almost did just that…several times. But now that I'm here," she rubbed her stomach with the gentlest of touches, "I can't imagine not being here. I don't even know them yet, but I'm in wholly in love with them." She looked down at her womb and a tiny smile graced her face.
I put my hand on top of hers.
"So thank you, Bella. Thank you more than you know."
"Alice, you would have done the same for me."
"Would I have?"
"I believe you would have."
She grabbed my hand and held it firmly. "Bells, I know what you've done for me came a great price. Even beyond all the time you've given up and the money you've forked out to help me. You could be in Fort Worth right now, and we both know it."
I grimaced. Just the words Fort Worth tied my insides in a knot.
"It's not that simple. It's not like all I had to do was choose between you and Fort Worth."
"Still."
"Had Edward not pulled what he pulled the decision would have been harder. As it stands, it was a no brainer."
"Even so, I know it was diffcult. I know you want to be there with him. I hear you crying at night."
I promptly looked down at my hands, feeling naked before her. "I miss him. I do, but I know I did the right thing."
"But you're so sad, Bella. Are you sure it was the right thing?"
"Says the President of the anti-Edward Masen club."
She rolled her eyes. "I just want you to be happy, but instead you're stuck here with your knocked up best friend, who you've had to wait on hand and foot for months. Sounds like a stellar time to me."
"It has been my pleasure."
"That's just it," she sniffed. "I know you mean that. You're too good to be true and I don't deserve you, Bella Swan. I will spend the rest of my life attempting to pay you back in every way possible."
"You owe me nothing. Just love those baby girls. That's all I could ever want."
He mouth twitched into a grin. "You are so, so cheesy, but consider it done."
At that point, we heard a car horn coming from outside. I walked to the window and waved to Esme who sat in her old white Buick.
Then I turned back to Alice and clapped my hands for effect. "Your chariot awaits. It's time to birth us some babies!"
With one hand supporting her back, and the other struggling to leverage her body, Alice quite ungracefully dismounted from her bed. Then she began to waddle toward the bathroom. "I know this will shock you, but I have to pee. Meet you at the car?"
"Sure," I groaned out, as I lifted her suitcase—which was apparently full of rocks—off the bed.
She looked over her shoulder, down at her giant piece of luggage. "A girl has to be prepared. And maybe, just maybe, I wanted several choices of going home outfits for mother and babies."
"I love you, Al," I smirked, thinking that somehow she'd made sense of the ridiculously heavy suitcase in a way only Alice could.
With a wink, she replied, "What's not to love?"
Four hours and twenty seven minutes after we arrived at Filmore Medical Center, Alice was finally wheeled back to the Operating Room. Prior to this change of scenery she was referring to her pre-op room as a holding cell. Needless to say I was quite thankful when they came to get her, because the expletives were flying and she was threatening to pull out her catheter and IV and hand deliver the twins herself—which made absolutely no sense at any level.
I got to be in the O.R. with her, as her "birthing coach," or in the case of a Caesarian delivery, her moral support. Dr. Garcia performed the C-Section, as a team of NICU nurses stood in the wings ready to swoop in grab each twin as they were born. I witnessed the entire thing from the head of the bed, amazed to be watching such a miracle.
As a nurse, I had seen my share of surgeries and all things medical, but witnessing the birth of these amazing little creatures, completely trumped it all. I only thought I loved these babies when they were growing in Alice. It was beyond love at first sight when I actually laid eyes on them, beginning with the arrival of Bella Evelyn—Evie, and then all over again as yet unnamed, twin number two, was born.
They were both pink and beautiful, and they screamed bloody murder at exactly the time you want to hear such screams from a newborn. After they were assessed, weighed and then swaddled in sweet little pink blankets, Alice, though unable to hold the girls yet due to her incision, was given several minutes to look into each of their little eyes. It was a short, but poignant moment—the connection between mother and daughters fully palpable and utterly supernatural.
Then the time came for Alice to be wheeled into postoperative recovery, while the babies would be taken to the newborn nursery.
As they begin to transport Alice away, her dark eyes were wide with fret. "Bella, why are they taking me from them? I can't leave my babies!"
"Sweetie, they have to monitor you for an hour or so. You've had major surgery. Remember the nurses explained the process to us at admission."
"Screw the process. I can't let them just…just separate us like this!"
"They need to make sure you're okay. They have to closely monitor you for a bit, and once they know you're stable—which you will be—they'll let you see the girls again."
"This is ridiculous!" she exclaimed adamantly, attempting to sit up from where she lay. She was still numb from her spinal block, momentarily unmindful of the fresh horizontal incision across her lower abdomen.
"I know it's hard, sweetie," I cooed, as I kindly but firmly pressed her shoulders back down, "but it will be okay."
"This is not okay," Alice demanded.
The nurse, who was attempting to push the stretcher, cleared her throat and gave me the eye.
"They need to take you now, Alice. I want you to look at me, okay?"
Surprisingly, she did as I requested, and fixed her fearful, panicked gaze on me.
"I'm going with the girls. I will be with them every second until you are back in your room. I will watch over them for you until you can do it yourself."
"You're sure?" She questioned me with tear filled eyes.
"Trust me," I whispered in her ear.
"Promise me you'll stay with them?"
"I promise."
Alice gripped my hand as they pushed her stretcher toward the PACU door, and she only released her hold on me when the distance between us demanded we let go.
I then proceeded, with two tiny bundles of pink inside a shared layette, to the newborn nursery where I, along with many new dads, helped the nurses give the twins their first baths. Esme watched through the bay of windows looking in over the nursery and photographed the entire bathing process, just like any proud grandmother, or surrogate grandmother as it were, would.
When Alice was reunited with her babies about forty-five minutes later, I watched her physically decompress—the worry falling off her body the instant she saw the twins once again. My Alice who had spent her life moving from one thing to the next, always looking for excitement and something better, gazed upon her two little girls and I saw it in her eyes. She was finally home.
She cradled a baby in each arm, and the sweet little family had their first real bonding session. A nurse soon came in soon after with two bottles of formula, and we commenced feeding the twins. Alice believed it to be their first feedings, and I didn't have the heart to tell her it wasn't.
After we diapered them and laid them back in Alice's arms, Esme and I slipped out of the room for a bit to let mother and babies sleep. I wanted to grab a quick diet Coke, and Esme said she needed to make a couple of phone calls. I chose not to think about who she might be calling.
When I returned to Alice's room twenty minutes later, I was surprised to hear the low rumble of a male voice. I slipped into the vestibule of the room, and immediately recognized it to be Jasper's. I halted in my steps, remaining in the vestibule, where I could see them but they couldn't see me.
"You did really good, Ms. Brandon. Really good." Jasper said quietly, in his endearing drawl.
He was perched on the side of Alice's bed. I somewhat expected to see Alice recoiling from him, but she seemed rather at ease. Somehow, judgy Jasper Hale was sitting quite near Alice Brandon, and she was being warm and friendly. I would've given anything to have arrived a few minutes earlier so I could've seen how Jasper melted the ice. In my eyes, he was nothing short of magical.
Alice scrunched up her nose. "I sort of just laid there, I didn't really do much, except complain a lot and threaten the nurse that had to stick me five times to get this IV started."
Jasper chuckled. "That's understandable. But what I meant was, you did a good job getting these girls to this point. You took bed rest like a champ. Did everything we instructed you to do."
"Not everything, Dr. Hale," she professed sheepishly. "I never completely cut out the caffeine, and sometimes, after I went on bed rest, I snuck out to my favorite shop at the mall to look at all the clothes I used to wear before I became a whale. But not to worry, doc. I only pretend-shopped under the watchful eye of Bella the pregnancy Nazi. She made me get a Lark cart."
"A Lark cart?"
"You know, those motorized carts that older people use at the grocery store?"
"Ahh."
"So see, I wasn't a perfect patient."
"Even so, your infractions weren't too serious," he added lightheartedly.
"I guess not."
"They sure are beautiful, Ms. Brandon," Jasper commented, as he turned his attention to the twins in Alice's arms. "I think this one looks a lot like her mother."
"Her name is Bella Evelyn, but I'm going to call her Evie. I can already tell she's the calmer one. I mean at least so far."
"Evie. I like that. And what's this one going to go by?"
"I don't know yet. I'm sort of stumped. I want to use the name Marie, because it's Bella's middle name, but I haven't landed on what to put with it," Alice explained, her forehead furrowed.
"So they'll both be named after Bella?"
"Definitely. Bella was my saving grace through this whole thing, and I want these two little girls right here to always know how important she is to us."
I heard a lilt in Alice's voice, and I felt my heart lurch into my throat.
"That is an amazing tribute to your friend, Ms. Brandon. But I've gotten to know Bella a bit and I happen to know you've been something of a saving grace to her as well," Jasper added.
Alice paused and then asked him with a tilt of her head, "You think so?"
"I know so," he answered her instantly, their eyes locking for several beats. "So this little beauty here needs a name. And one that goes with Marie?"
"That she does," Alice replied, as she handed the baby over to Jasper. He received the pink bundle without blinking, as if Alice had somehow forewarned him without words.
"Are you open to suggestions?" he asked, as he studied the tiny baby girl in his arm.
"Sure I am, as long as they're good ones."
He looked up at her and one side of his mouth quirked into a half smile. "Well, how about Andie? Andie Marie Brandon. Has a nice ring, right?"
"Hmm…It kind of does," Alice spoke without attempting to conceal her surprise. "I actually like it. Where did you come up with Andie anyway?"
"I've always liked the name," he admitted. "At least since the mid eighties anyway, it's been my favorite girl name."
"Favorite name since the mid eighties, huh?" Alice hedged, with her eyebrows arched high.
"Well…yeah."
"That wouldn't have anything to do with a certain wildly popular movie of the mid eighties, starring a young Molly Ringwald, would it?"
"I wouldn't know what you're talking about." Jasper's cheeks flushed crimson.
"Oh, I think you do," Alice jibed. "Andie Walsh? Poor girl form wrong side of the tracks in love with Blaine, a richie from the other side of town? Star crossed lovers? Any of that ring a bell?"
Jasper stared a hole through the baby he cradled in his arms, still flush cheeked, blatantly refusing to look at Alice.
"Oh, come on, Doctor Hale, you can tell me." Alice touched his forearm and squeezed it teasingly.
Japer's eyes widened a bit and he glanced down at her hand on his arm. A smile crept across his face.
"Fine." He shut his eyes and shook his head. "I loved Pretty in Pink and I might have had a crush on Andie Walsh, but it stays in this room okay? Between you and me and these two little girls here."
"Agreed?" He looked first at the baby in his arms and then at Evie, as if he was asking the question of them. Then he tilted his head up toward Alice, and looked at her from under his lashes. "The girls agree to secrecy, so how about you? Is my secret safe with you, Ms. Brandon?"
Alice gazed back at Jasper with bright eyes and a wide smile that could've lit the room.
"It's safe with me," she commented, zipping her lips. "It stays in this room, Dr. Hale. Between you and me, Evie and Andie, here."
A slow, easy grin split Jasper's face. "Andie."
"Andie it is." Alice's smile mirrored his.
The two of them continued to beam at each other, almost goofily, for several seconds. His soft blues eyes were fixed on hers, and she held his with equal intensity.
"Oh, and Doctor Hale?" She asked him, in a voice not much louder than a whisper.
"Yes."
"Will you call me Alice? I mean you helped me name my baby for goodness sake."
His mouth erupted into another uncontainable grin. "That I will, Alice."
That's when I knew, just knew, something special was happening before my eyes. I simply knew that the four of them sitting there together in room 208 of Filmore Medical, were at the beginning of a journey that would profoundly change each of their lives.
I quietly slipped back out of the room, feeling that to stay there a moment longer would indeed be an intrusion on something intimate. I simply didn't belong there.
I wandered down the hallway, and realized, as I looked for somewhere to camp out for a bit, just how exhausted I was. It had been a long day of waiting, calming Alice, and then giving Evie and Andie a proper welcome into the world. It had been a wonderful day—one of the best of my life—but a draining one at that.
I came to a tiny consult room and thinking it might be the perfect place to rest my weary bones, turned the handle on the door. I was overjoyed to find it unlocked, so I eased it open and slipped inside. The loveseat on the far wall called my name, and I literally I fell onto its faux leather cushions. I let my head fall back and my eyes immediately closed.
The day I'd just lived had been full of images-more vivid, life changing images than I'd ever seen in one twenty four hour period. Yet instead of picturing Evie or Andie, or my best friend Alice as mother, or even the tender scene I'd just witnessed of a potentially precious future, the only thing I saw in my mind's eye was pair of emerald green eyes.
It startled me at first, and I opened my eyes in haste to make the flash of intense, haunting green go away. His eyes didn't leave me though, and instantly thoughts of Edward—everything about him and not just those eyes-found their way to the front of my mind.
I had pushed him away all day, in large part because I was so busy and wrapped up in my role as honorary baby daddy. But Edward had been there with me the entire time, whether I acknowledged him or not. He was ever at the back of my mind, merely one second away from conscious thought, because he belonged in that moment with me. He belonged at that hospital. He belonged in Alice's' room, verbally sparring with her in their almost artful manner. He belonged by my side as I held those precious babies.
My gut instinct after seeing Alice hug her daughters, or after watching Evie stretch her tiny body, or in response to Andie grabbing my pinkie with her tiny fingers, was to call Edward and share every last detail with him. I wanted him to know it all, because it felt like he should know it all.
Yet reality was such that it was his mother who called and let him know the twins had safely arrived. It was his mother who had the privilege of describing what they looked like and how Alice was doing. It was his mother and not me, who relayed all those amazing details to him. And at the moment, at the end of the day in a tiny consult room that smelled of old coffee and pleather, I cried because I missed my Edward. I cried because I missed what could have, and should have been.
The weeks following Andie and Evie's arrival was a blur of diapers and feedings. I took three full weeks off work. When I had to return to the hospital, Esme who had taken her two weeks of vacation, all but moved into our house. So, Alice ended up having round the clock help for five weeks.
We got a system down, and the twins were on a semblance of a schedule. Evie took to the routine better, but Andie, in her own little precious way, liked to buck it. I had a feeling Evie looked more like Alice, but Andie was definitely her mother's daughter.
We were tired and sleep deprived, but there was a joy in that weariness that we all felt, and that Alice wore from head to toe. She was in her element with those baby girls, and there was not a doubt that they owned her heart and soul.
Alice returned to her job at the rental car place after eight weeks at home. We found a Mother's Day Out for Andie and Evie to attend twice a week, and I tweaked my schedule, such that I could pitch in and watch them too. It broke Alice's heart to be away from them, but the reality was my paycheck alone couldn't cover our expenses any longer. Plus, Alice's pride wouldn't allow her to quote to unquote, mooch off of me any longer.
We became a little family, in our own unconventional way, but I knew we were inevitably going to grow by one member at some point. To Jasper's credit, he waited until Alice was officially no longer a patient at Filmore High Risk Neonatal Clinic before he let his intentions be known. He began to show up at our house, armed with take out and his lazy smile, quite frequently. Alice's face would almost crack—adorned with the widest of grins-when she'd open the door to find him there. Evie and Andie too, responded in like to his presence. Apparently he had the power to turn all three Brandon girls into nothing but mush.
His visits became more and more regular. Then came the constant phone calls, the offers to baby sit, the "triple dates," as Jasper called them, on which he took the three girls on a ride and to eat somewhere that was loud and child friendly.
Jasper courted Alice and her girls, in the loveliest of ways. And though it made no sense as to why he would knowingly walk into such a complicated situation, he was steadfast in his pursuit. After several months—or if I'm being honest, after several days-it was clear to us all that Jasper was head over heels in love with Alice, Evie and Andie.
When Jasper's yearlong fellowship with Dr. Garcia was near its end, he and Alice had been an unofficial couple for over six months. Evie and Andie had never not known Jasper, and they were accustomed to having him around. He cared for them as much as Esme or I did, understanding their routine, personalities and needs as well as anyone. What's more important, was that he understood Alice Brandon's routine, personality and needs better than anyone else, as well.
When he offered Alice a ring and his heart, she took them both, knowing life without Jasper Hale would never really be a life. They made their plans to move to Fort Worth, where he had secured a job as a high-risk O.B./Gyn at a hospital near the projects and low income housing. It was a fast, unusual whirlwind of a romance, but it made more sense to me than anything had in a long, long time. I supported their union whole-heartedly, albeit sadly, as I knew their life change was going to utterly rock my world.
My life had been all about those twins for months on end, and knowing I wouldn't see them everyday broke me. But through my grief, I could see the bigger picture, and I knew Jasper was an integral part of it.
Of course, I didn't miss the irony of it all. Alice and Jasper were moving their family to exactly the area where Edward lived. I'd said no to moving there myself, so I could stay home and care for Alice. And now she was leaving me to go where I could've been. It was one of many sick jokes in the life of Bella Swan.
Alice and Jasper tied the knot in a tiny ceremony at the J.P. They packed up Alice's myriad of clothing, her bedroom furniture and baby gear galore into a U-Haul trailer. Esme and I stood at the curb and held onto one another for dear life as we watched them get into the car to leave us. I refused to even let my eyes rest on the twins in their car seats in the back seat—it would've have been impossible for me to remain upright. So I fixed my eyes on Alice's. She placed her palm on the inside of passenger side window. I placed mine over hers, on the outside of the window, and we held each other's gaze, communicating a lifetime of sisterhood, with one look.
Jasper slowly pulled away from the curb, and I let my hand fall from the window. Alice kept hers there, tears cascading down her face. I offered her a smile and a small wave, as I was overcome with an unexpected notion. I wondered if what I felt was akin to what a parent might feel as their child leaves for college. All I could think of as I watched her head off to her new life was, my work is done.
My house, just like my heart, became deathly quiet and eerily empty after they left. Not knowing what else to do, I threw myself back into work—taking as many extra shifts as I could wrangle-and I started in on many remodeling and updating projects that my house desperately needed but that had to go on the back burner for so many months.
It wasn't fulfilling in the slightest, but it kept my mind and my hands busy, and that counted for something. I squeezed in many visits to Fort Worth as well, my body literally aching for a glimpse of Andie and Evie, not to mention Alice. It was never enough, and when it came time to load up and head back home, leaving them hurt as if it was the day they moved away, all over again.
I could hardly believe it when the twins turned one. So much had happened in a year, but in so many ways I, myself, was sort of stuck, as if time hadn't advanced. I traveled to Fort Worth for the big birthday bash. It was—in true Alice fashion—the most amazing celebration two little girls ever had. I lost myself in the excitement, but tainting the weekend was the news Alice shared with me on my last day there. Apparently, she had run into Edward a week prior at some trendy restaurant, and he was on a date with a girl. She had contemplated withholding the news from me, but when it came down to it, she believed I deserved the truth—no matter how devastating it might be.
Devastating it was. The news felt like a sucker punch in the gut, managing to inflict the deepest of pain, but to also numb me. I managed to cram the hurt way down for the sake of the birthday weekend, and it wasn't until I got back home that I revisited it, and allowed it wreck me fully. It was a hurt so raw and real, it reminded me of the very day Edward and I broke it off for the last time.
We had been broken up for over a year and I had no claim on him. He had every right to date-to move on with his life as he saw fit-but it felt like a betrayal all the same.
I went into a funk, functioning robotically at best during the day, and crumbling into my pillow at night, unleashing a thousand tears. Alice and Esme knew it had me reeling, but we didn't speak of it much. It was just one of those things we didn't bring up a lot. It wasn't off limits by any means, but dissecting it and re-hashing it from all angles only led me deeper into what Alice called the "Edward vortex." I knew the "Edward vortex" wasn't good for me. They knew it wasn't good for me, so we simply didn't go there.
I suppose I wore my inner turmoil on my sleeve, even though I thought I was a master disguiser, because even shallow Jessica from work commented on how "like emo and totally skinny" I was. She constantly badgered me, wanting to know what happened to "put me in the bell jar." I kept her at bay by avoiding her, and when that was impossible, by supplying vague explanations.
She and several other girls from the floor we worked on consistently invited me to go out and drown my sorrows in alcohol and dancing. I would have rather stabbed myself in the eye with fork, but I finally acquiesced, grudgingly so, just to make Jessica's insistent whining go away. It was on that fateful girls night out that I met Mike Newton for the first time, and the rest, as they say, is history.
I promise it won't be a month next time. Please make this an anti-flouncing zone!