Chapter 22: What Is This Thing You Call Love?

The Normandy

It was a quiet day on the Normandy, well as relatively quiet as one could get in the middle of the reaper war. The Normandy was making its way to the Citadel to drop off the civilians rescued from Benning, while transitioning to a relay EDI decided to make some observations. It's been a month since EDI took control of Dr. Eva's body, everyone had treated her differently, for example before taking her new body the crew would only have to call her from anywhere on the ship and she would answer.

Now the crew greeted her in person, as if they wish to make her a part of the crew…it was not needed but she….liked it. She looked over to Joker who was quietly reading Fornmax, Joker also had a change he seemed happy about her having a new body so much that he wanted her on the bridge to keep his morale up. Not only that he seem more protective of her, when she goes out on missions with Shepherd his body chemistry changed making him more anxious, she believed Joker became emotionally attached to her. He was falling in love with her, this was new data she did not foresee, ever since they took back the Normandy from the Collectors a year ago they had amicable working relationship…he considered her a friend, that was enough for her but love….she was not prepared for.

So she did the only thing she could do: research love and relationships. EDI had been reading relation sites on the extranet, watching romantic movies, even borrowed some of Joker's porn stash much to the astonishment of the pilot. However they didn't help much, as it assumed that EDI participated in Earth subculture, with her references no help she needed to find better information. She sensed a sensation; the Normandy was out of FTL and was in the Widow system to dock with the Citadel.

The Citadel

"Normandy? We are transferring your docking clearance to an Alliance official"

Joker scoffed. "Figures, back in action and they still want to keep tabs on us…." Since Shepherd's trial on Earth, the crew had been quite mistrustful of the Alliance and the Alliance's higher-ups was somewhat the same way. Reaper war had eased tensions between them but it was still there.

"Just our way of welcoming you back, Flight Lieutenant" a woman said.

Joker stiffened up. "Uh, yes ma'am! Requesting docking permission"

"Approved" The Normandy glided into the dock and the magnetic clamps were locked into place. There were more ships in the dock than last time and a lot of them looked run down. The Citadel had to open the private docks for the refugees, it was good for now, but it would come to a time where Citadel Control will have to turn them back due to the lack of space. Joker got up out of the chair and to the air lock, he then looked back.

"EDI, you coming?" Joker asked.

EDI tilted her head. "Jeff, I do not think it would be wise someone could find out I'm a AI" she said.

"Don't worry about it, I'll come up with something…plus you could use the break"

"I don't need a break…I don't get tired like organics do"

"Then you can see the sights, I'm sure you wanted to see the inside of the Citadel at least once" EDI had to admit Joker got her there, she had never seen the Citadel except from the Normandy's external cameras. She could hack into the Citadel's surveillance cameras now that she was unshackled, but the station's security systems were too complex even for her. Plus it wouldn't be as fun.

"Very well, I will accompany you, Jeff" EDI said. They went off the ship; the Citadel was more amazing than she thought. She was absorbing so much stimuli that it was almost overwhelming. They went to the security where they were stopped as EDI's body set off the alarms, a turian officer and a female human officer came to them.

"Uh, something the matter…" Joker said nervously.

"I'm sorry sir, but your assistant mech is not allowed" the turian officer said. "With indoctrinated agents out there we can't be too careful…"

The human officer nodded. "Yes, either return the mech to you ship or we will confiscate it" Joker and EDI looked at each other; this was what they were afraid of. However Jeff just smiled at the officers and then wrapped his arm around EDI's neck, EDI on instinct wrapped her arm around Joker's waist.

"Ah, damn it here it goes again, damn leg bothering me" Joker said. The turian and human looked at each other. "This is my mobility assistance mech, you see I have Vrolik Syndrome and I need to keep it with me at all times"

"But sir, there are security concerns…" the officer said.

"Look at me, my bones shatter if I so much as sneeze, do you really think the reapers or Cerberus would want me as their sleeper agents?" Joker said. "Besides, aren't I legally entitled to have it due to my condition, I could sue for discrimination" EDI knew it was all a lie, Cerberus did extensive treatment on Joker to strengthen his bones so he wouldn't be a liability on the Collector mission. His bones weren't as strong a healthy human, but he was far from frail. However the officer didn't know that and begrudgingly let them through as they went to the elevator. Once the door closed, Joker let go of EDI slightly blushing. "Uh, sorry EDI…"

"I do not worry Jeff, I was not bothered by it, in fact I'm flattered that you would lie to law officials for me" They went to the Presidium commons, unlike the officers the people didn't notice EDI as they were busy with their own problems. She looked at all the people holding hands and hooking with each other, not to mention the amount of advertisements for dating services. There were even something as strange as a human woman laying her head on the shoulders of a batarian, humans and batarians were supposed to be mortal enemies. "Jeff, I wonder if you could answer me this question."

Joker looked back. "Yeah?"

"There seem to be a disproportionately high amount of coupling going on…why is that when they should be focused on the reapers?" EDI asked.

Joker sighed. "People are scared, they don't know what the future holds for them so they reach out for something familiar" he said. "What's more familiar than the person standing next to you?"

"I see…" They continued to see the sights, Joker seemed amused but for EDI, she was more interested in the other couples. She noticed that a lot of them held each other's hands went they walked, as they continued she tried it on the pilot but ended up fracturing his pinky finger. Eventually, Joker had to stop and take a breather, although Cerberus has improved the strength of his bones he couldn't walk long without putting some strain on it. He went to a bench while EDI fetched some refreshments at the café. While she was walking to the café, she saw Shepherd and Tali together hand in hand, and had a thought….maybe she was looking at this the wrong way by using outside references and instead should be talking to an actual couple. "Greetings, Shepherd and Tali"

Shepherd and Tali looked at her. "EDI what are you doing here?" Tali asked. "How did you get past security?"

"Jeff, he told C-sec that I was his mobile assistant mech…it was quite an effective lie" she said. Tali was about to say something, but her omni-tool beeped.

"Keelah…"

"Something wrong, Rookie?" Shepherd asked.

"A Maintenance personnel touched something he shouldn't have, have to go back and help Adams and the others…" Tali said. "Sorry Wayne, rain check?" Shepherd took her hand and kissed it, EDI watched them…kissing another factor to consider…that was going to be a problem she couldn't feel the sensation and she doubts Joker would like kissing cold metal.

Shepherd smiled. "Yeah later…" Tali walked away leaving Shepherd with his drink and then he looked at EDI. "Hey, something wrong? You're staring…"

"Shepherd, you have first-hand sexual experience. How do you know if someone's romantically invested?" Shepherd spit out his drink and coughed. EDI tilted her head. "Is there something wrong?"

Shepherd stopped coughing and looked at EDI. "No…just where the hell did that come from?"

"I was running scenarios in my head to analyze Jeff's behavior" She said. "I believe he has a strong emotional attachment, but has not stated it to anyone yet" Shepherd just stammered and shuddered, he pulled his collar a sign that he was quite uncomfortable with this subject.

"Uh….well…this is really…" Shepherd cleared his throat. " Um…God…t-they usually show signs they can't stop thinking about you…you know asking you out, giving you presents…playing music…"

"But I lack material warmth other than software and hardware and my programing don't assign values to music" She said. "Perhaps we could discuss how to provoke Jeff into an emotional commitment"

"Ah…that's not how to think of it… Look, it's got to be natural, you need chemistry…" Shepherd said.

EDI's eyes lit up, chemistry…she may not have understood relationships but she did understand chemistry, finally something she could relate with. "There are some pharmaceuticals I could inject to have the desired effect…"

Shepherd held out his hand. "Whoa girl, slow your roll, not like that, I mean relax "he said. "Do something you both like for example, you two like humor"

Well she did like the occasional joke or two, although Shepherd didn't enjoy that joke about forgetting to recycle the Normandy's oxygen when she was interested about something. Maybe some entertainment will help her get close to Joker and improve her sense of humor. "I will scan for some comedic entertainment that's being shown on the Citadel" EDI said. "Scanning…do you think Jeff would like the Man who Hung Himself? It's about an amorous plastic surgeon"

Shepherd palmed his face. "Son of a…" he said. "Look the important thing is to have fun wherever you go, and if you're having fun, he will too"

EDI blinked. "Then the outcome becomes unknown, but you are saying I should attempt it anyway…"

Shepherd nodded. "Do you know how many things could have gone wrong when I first dated Tali? A lot, but I tried it anyway" he said with a smirk. "Nobody ever fell in love, without being a bit brave"

EDI smiled a little. "I see…I believe you just improved my chances, Shepherd. Thank you" She went to pick up Joker's drink and walked back to the pilot.

"Oh thank god…"Shepherd said relieved. He got beep from his omni-tool, and read a message.

From: Sender Blocked

Commander:

My name is Jondum Bau. I'm with Special Tactics & Recon.

While some still have concerns about your past activities with Cerberus, many of us in ST&R took your warnings about the Reapers seriously. I'm reaching out to you because I have information that could tie agents with significant political power to the Reapers.

If you have time to meet me in the Citadel Embassy, I'd appreciate your discreet assistance.

Sincerely,

Jondum Bau, STG, ST&R

"Dealing with another Spectre, it has to be easier than explaining love to an AI…." Shepherd went to the Embassy.

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