Chapter 27 : Snap

Christina accepts my apology, but I can see hurt in her eyes every time she looks at me now. She doesn't say she's sorry for what she said to me and I don't expect her to. It stung, it still stings, but I know that's because it's true. To some degree I pushed Tris to be everything she could. I pushed Tris to balance my inadequacies. And that resulted in her embracing a true act of selflessness.

She tells Zeke and I about the nightmares Adrian has. That he's afraid to fall asleep and when he does he screams until the morning.

"Is it some kind of compulsion?" Zeke guesses.

"Trauma from his imprisonment," I suggest.

Christina shakes her head. "No, he does have that." She nods and an emotion crosses her face that I feel in my bones. It's the same feeling I had when I knew Tris would go to Erudite. That terror of knowing the one you love is out of your reach to help. "This is different. This started after that night you were bit. He was on edge that night, after he healed you."

"He healed me?" I ask. I don't recall any injuries that Adrian needed to heal.

Christina rolls her eyes. I am a toddler with too many questions that stall her explanations. "When you flipped during the morning run. Don't you remember that?"

My memories are murky like dirty water but I remember the hallucination that morning. I hadn't realized the run was real. I nod.

"You saw him in the doorway when we made the second turn and all the sudden you were on the mat, punching your fists so hard in the floor that you broke you hand," she says.

I look to Zeke and he confirms it. "You were, man. You just…snapped. You didn't say anything, or touch anyone, but you were on the ground beating the shit of the mat like it was the Devil himself. You kept swinging even after you broke your hand."

My left hand slides over the knuckles of my right. Nothing is broken. I don't remember any pain before or after I woke up in the infirmary. "Adrian…healed me?"

They both nod. I'm thankful my friends are patient people. We standing in Zeke's apartment and sit on the edge of his bed, dropping my face into my hands.

"He was weak from helping you and that's when I realized he wasn't drinking any blood."

I peek through my fingers and she nods. Neither of us needs to tell Zeke about what she did next.

"Then what?" Zeke asks, as if he can read our minds.

"Then I woke up in the infirmary that night, alone, and Dimitri told me to follow him," I say.

"Where did you go?" he asks.

"Navy Pier," I say. I realize this is the first time I've been clear enough to talk to my friends since that night. I don't know how long ago that night was, but I know it's been more than a week. A fresh wave of guilt rolls over me like a returning tide.

"Why there?" Christina asks.

"Dimitri said he'd found the nest. He said they were set up under the Ferris wheel. And—"

"He must have been right," Zeke says. I nod. "How did he know where to look?"

Christina sits cross-legged on the floor. "Adrian told him."

This is news to me. "Adrian remembers where he was held?"

"Not exactly," she says, frowning. "It's more… he showed them images in his head and they all investigated it from there."

I start to ask her how he showed them these images when the door flies open. As if he is the Devil and we've talked him up from Hell, Adrian storms into the room. His eyes are wild and wide. His body jerks with every other breath and words fall from his lips like drops of water from a broken spout.

"Can't make it stop, can't make it stop," he chants over and over. He charges straight for Christina, showing no indication that he even knows anyone else is in the room. "Can't make it stop."

"What's happening? What is it?" she asks. She's on her knees, hands framing his face. She uses a special tone of voice that I can tell is reserved only for him.

"Can't…can't…" He's shaking his head back and forth, rocking on his knees. His eyes track hers and for a second I think he finally sees her. And then his eyes turn to shimmering glass that shatters and flows down his cheeks as if something has exploded in his head. "Don't die," he says with so much anguish in his voice that I feel it echoed in my heart. "Don't die!"

He's shouting it again and again, lost in inconsolable hysterics.

"Adrian!" Christina says his name more than once, but it doesn't help. He screams until his body is too worked up. His eyes roll back in his head and he begins to seize.

I'm on the ground next to her then, Zeke is right beside me. He holds Adrian's body as I force my fingers in his mouth to keep him from swallowing his tongue. It's over in a matter of seconds, not long enough to do any damage to his brain, but long enough to rob him of consciousness.

We all take a breath as he relaxes into the rug.

I pull my fingers out of his mouth and stand. I know what just happened, but I can't believe I know what just happened.

"Is it just me," Christina says, "or was that—"

Zeke turns Adrian's head to the side, pulling the collar of his white t-shirt down. A small red dot sits at the base of his neck. A puncture point.

"A simulation," Zeke says.

I nod. My mind is sprinting forward and my heart is desperately trying to match pace. They've been using serums on Adrian. For what?

A noise out in the hall draws all our focus. Zeke runs to the door, peeking out. "Eddie," he mouths.

Christina looks around for some way to hide him.

I don't think. I react. I pull his arm over my shoulder and haul him to his feet, heading straight for Zeke's bathroom. Christina grabs his other arm and helps me steer him to the tub. She lies on top of him. With the shower curtain open, from the door, it looks as though the bathroom is still empty.

I head back into the main room of the apartment just as Eddie enters through the front door. I make sure the entrance to the bathroom is left wide open. I know everyone in the apartment has a clear view of the tub.

Zeke is all smiles, welcoming Eddie.

I catch the Dhampir's gaze and nod. He tries to give the illusion of a routine inspection, but I can see the tension in his jaw. His lab rat escaped.

"Have either of you seen Christina?" Eddie asks.

Eddie is smart. He's not about to admit Adrian is the one on the loose. Unfortunately for him I've lived a life of false faces.

"Yes," I lie with ease that would fool the most trained Candor. "She just walked by about…what…" I turn to Zeke for confirmation. "Maybe five minutes ago?"

Five minutes ago Adrian ran into the room and passed out. That would put him directly in Christina's path.

Zeke nods. "Yeah," he says, scratching his neck. "I think she was getting ready for a second raid. She said something about a new truck she saw this morning."

Eddie nods, sliding his hands into his pockets. He steps around me and Zeke opens the top drawer of a dresser behind him.

"What are you two up to in here?" Eddie asks.

"We were on our way to train and I forgot this," Zeke says, tugging on a sweatshirt. "Plus Four had to pee."

Eddie looks to me and I shrug. I had just come out of the bathroom when he entered.

The excuse convinces Eddie and I can see as he spins around that he's trying to not run from the room to find his prey. "Have fun running today," he says as he reaches the door.

"No stake training?" I ask. I don't know if I sound eager. I'm not. I know deep in my heart that if a Strigoi was in front of me right now I would beg it to bite me.

He shakes his head. "Nah. You need to get more rest and we'll be in conference all week."

Conference. Interrogation is more like it. "Good. I'm enjoying catching up on my sleep."

Zeke throws his head back and laughs. "I've been trying to get you to sleep in for years, but no you busted my ass at the crack of dawn. And now you're happy to get some rest?"

We move toward the door naturally, like we honestly do mean to head up to the training floor.

I roll my eyes. "You needed the extra time at the gym."

"Watch it, Four," Zeke says, raising his fists as if we're going to fight right here, "I can still go a few rounds with you."

"Bring it," I say, hopping from one foot to the other, throwing some punches that don't come close to connecting with Zeke's face.

Eddie laughs, waving to us as he quickly heads in the direction of the supply room.

Once he's around the corner we both stop moving. We stand there for a few minutes more, making sure no one else comes along to check on us.

"I'm going to go get Shauna," Zeke says. He doesn't wait for my opinion on him leaving he just warns me that's where he's going.

I don't blame him. We've felt something was off for a while. This proves that something is going on with the Dhampirs and we can't trust them. I would want the person I love most near me during a time like this too.

I stand in the hall. Zeke's door's still open. I rub the scar on my wrist, glance around. No Mina. This is real.

I take six, sharp, shallow breaths. My heart is still hammering in my chest. I can't riddle this out. And yet, I know all the pieces are in front of me.

I walk into the apartment, closing the front door and then the one to the bathroom behind me. Christina is still lying on top of Adrian when I near the tub. Oddly I notice she's fallen asleep. Her hand is pressed to his cheek and small smile plays on her lips. Adrian doesn't look as relaxed. His cheek twitches under her touch. His mouth hangs open and an occasional sound falls out like it's pushed over the cliff of his throat. His eyes move back and forth under his closed lids so rapidly it's like they're running around the training room.

I locate Zeke's hidden supply of knives tucked behind the toilet and sit on the floor with my back against the tub. I don't know what's happening, but I can't leave them in here defenseless.

A few minutes later I hear the front door open followed by commotion and I holler that I'm in here.

The door flings open, knocking into the wall so hard I can hear the plaster crack. I'm about to ask Zeke what's wrong when I'm hauled off the ground. My hands touch a slippery leather coat but can't grab hold before I'm thrown into the air.

I hit the wall like the door and I hear my head crack as everything goes dark.