Lord Drake Misadventures 26
By: Vyce Dryke, 2009
Tlanextic: So where the hell do you three come from anyway?
Keva: From?
Zack: Well, we're Chaos Daemon Dragons, for one. For two, if you put some logic behind it, you can probably figure that out.
Tlanextic: Well. I can figure you three come from the warp, but were you always from it?
Vyce: We came from a galaxy far, far away.
Keva: And it was a long time ago.
Tlanextic: Really?
Keva: Ya rly.
Zack: Srsly?
Vyce: No wai!
Tlanextic groans and facepalms.
Tlanextic: Can't you guys take me seriously?
Keva: No?
Zack: Well. You see. It's not all that complicated. We come from the warp, we're daemons. Blah blah blah.
Vyce: Ever heard of those dragons from old terran lore?
Tlanextic: No?
Keva: Hopeless.
Lord Drake walks onto the scene, and jawdrops for a moment.
Lord Drake: You lot still here?
Vyce: Would you expect us anywhere else?
Lord Drake: Well..
Vyce: Your face is well.
Keva: Your mom is well.
Vyce: Your mom's face is well!
Keva: Shut up you.
Vyce: Gonna make me?
Keva: Well now that you mention it...
Vyce eyewidens as Keva advances, the white dragon snapping his jaws once.
Vyce: Wait! Wait! I didn't mean it! I'll behave!
Keva: You'll behave what?
Vyce: I'll behave... Sir?
Keva: Good boy.
Tlanextic and Lord Drake stares.
Tlanextic: Sir?
Vyce: He sorta owns me.
Tlanextic bursts into laughter, something incredibly rare for the Sorcerer.
Vyce: Shut up you. Your the one bound to Lord Drake by Tzeentch.
Tlanextic: Curse you!
Vyce: Curse you?
Keva: Shush!
Vyce: Gonna ma-*ahems* Yes Sir.
Lord Drake: Anyway. You three staying long?
Vyce: Well, considering you all amuse me. I'm still here for good.
Keva: I was just visiting to keep an eye on what's mine, when he noted that you lot were having problems with Necrons. Frilly Necrons at that. Must be a lame excuse for a Chaos Legion.
Tlanextic: And for the other Black One?
Zack: Just happened to show up. I know Vyce, but not the other. Although I come from a different plane/galaxy entirely.
Lord Drake: Plane? Like one of those ancient Terran things?
Zack: No. A Plane like a different dimension.
Lord Drake: So is it a Plain plane?
The dragons and Tlanextic groan at the pun.
Keva: No. Bad form. You lose 10 cool points.
Lord Drake: What? I have cool points?
Zack: Everyone has cool points.
Vyce: Yeah. You should know this.
Lord Drake: I should?
Tlanextix: What? Coo-
Vyce gives Tlanextic a quick wink, and the sorcerer understands.
Tlanextic: Of course my Lord. Everyone has cool points. It's a judgment from the chaos gods themselves.
Lord Drake: My goodness. I must accumulate more cool points!
Keva: Nope. Just three more.
Lord Drake: What? Are you the keeper or something?
The white/teal Chaos dragon smiles mischievously.
Keva: Of course. Your not supposed to try to get more cool points, you get rewarded them for not knowing about them.
Tlanextic: Which is why I never mention them.
Zack: Me neither.
Lord Drake: But what do you get for them?
Keva: Unlimited power?
Vyce: Daemonhood?
Zack: Girl scout cookies?
They all stare at Zack.
Zack: What? I like girl scout cookies.
Lord Drake: Right. Anyway. I want more cool points.
Keva: Tsk. Didn't I say you don't ask for them? Minus three cool points.
Lord Drake: Bu-
Keva: Should I decrease them by ten?
Lord Drake: No!
Keva: I'm sorry. No what?
Lord Drake: No I don't wan my cool points taken away?
Keva: No. Say 'No Sir' or you lose twenty.
Lord Drake: But!
Keva: Thirty?
Lord Drake: No Sir...
Vyce snickers, Keva eyes him.
Keva: What are you so amused about?
Vyce: That you got a 'No Sir' out of Lord Drake.
Keva: Please. Tricking him into it was easy..
Lord Drake: You mean there aren't cool points?
Keva: Nope.
Lord Drake: My hopes! My dreams!
Vyce: All gone.
Keva: Besides dragon. I can get a 'Yes Sir' out of you easy.
Vyce: Oh yeah?
Keva: Do I need a demonstration?
Vyce: o.o No Sir.
Lord Drake and Tlanextic snicker. Vyce gives them a glare.
Vyce: Oh just you wait until he's gone. Then your in for it.
There are strange glows, lights, and noises over the horizon, the three dragons look over, and so does Lord Drake and Tlanextic.
Tlanextic: My lord.. it looks like we have company.
Zack: I always hate uninvited guests.
Lord Drake: Speak for yourself.
Zack: I do, actually. And quite often.
Lord Drake, for the first time in all 25 episodes (Including this one...) facepalms.
Lord Drake: Not what I meant dragon.
Keva: It's a giant...
Tlanextic: Octagon!?
Vyce: Wait.. what?
As they all watch, a giant octagon looms over the horizon. In all it's 2d goodness, being completely flat like a plane, shining with diamonds and other such things. Shooting beams of light as it it was some weird thing from the 70s or whenever the disco era was. Play that funky music white boy.
Giant Octagon: Behold! And tremble in fear! For I am... THE GIANT OCTAGON!
Keva blinks and the chaos dragon walks around the giant thing.
Keva: Your 2d...
Octagon: Yes! Nothing can hit me unless something shoots me from directly on the sides.
Vyce: So.. What made you?
Octagon: Why. The creators. or.. Well.. NeenaJa.
Tlanextic: So why can't you like.. be an Octahedron?
Octagon: An Octa..what?
Tlanextic: You know, And octahedron. One of those 3d things with eight faces.
Octagon: That sounds silly.
Vyce: No. It makes sense. You'd kinda look like a diamond, but you still have eight sides.
Octagon: No.. No.. No..
Keva: Vyce, you moron, use your head. He should have been a octagonal prism. He's still an octagon, but he's 3d.
Octagon: But I'm just a giant octagon.
Zack: he could be an octagonal antiprism.
Tlanextic: An antiprism?
Lord Drake: Is that like. The fierce rival of the prism? Taking many forms and many shapes? Destined to fight until a climatic battle occurs for the fate of the universe!? Where there can only be one?
Keva: Stop reading between the lines.
Lord Corrack: What about a truncated cuboctahedron?
Tlanextic: A what?
Keva: Your insane.
Lord Corrack: And your a Herm.
Keva arches an eyeridge
Keva: And you know this how?
Lord Corrack: I'm Slaaneshi. I know everything sexual. So baby. Looking to have some fun?
Vyce growls, and punts Corrack into space.
Vyce: Paws off. Shi's mine.
Zack, Lord Drake, and Tlanextic however are rather absorbed in the whole 'Giant Octagon thing'.
Lord Drake: Or a great dirhombicosidodecahedron.
Zack: Is that even a word?
Tlanextic: I think he's making up words again.
Lord Drake: I saw it on Wikipedia.
Tlaenxtic: Sounds like a Daemon Name.
Lord Drake: Usually incomprehensible right?
Zack: Not always.. my Daemon name is Wreaker hookbeak... Actually.
Tlanextic: Your not from this dimension.. Are you?
Zack: Ah. The Sorcerer is smarter than he thinks.
Lord Drake: So you made up the name?
Zack: That's my little secret.
The Octagon fumes, if an Octagon can visibly fume.
Octagon: ENOUGH! I will destroy you all!
The Giant Octagon fires it's light rays, which only seems to tint the color of the Chaos Armors and Zack's scales. In the background Vyce can be seen kicking around Corrack for the sake of revenge, as the Slaaneshi Lord continues to be perverted as usual. Keva watches with amusement, not seeming phased or bothered at all by Corrack, but finds his draconic abuse amusing.
Lord Drake: Wow. I have this sudden urge to do something disco-ey.
Zack: Can I just blow it up already?
Tlanextic: What were you waiting on in the first place?
Zack: An invitation?
Lord Drake, for some bizarre reason, is dancing..
Lord Drake: Play that funky music white boy...
Tlanextic and Zack collectively Facepalm/Facepaw/Faceappendage that works like a hand and is therefore appropriate in this description. The Octagon, not having such things, mentally faceedges. Or whatever would work. Zack shakes his head, and shoves the Octagon over.
Octagon: Noooo! My weakness! My 2d-ness and flat sides cannot escape me from the peril of being knocked over. Ouch. Ooof. My face!
Zack: *while stomping on the octagon* You don't have a face.
Octagon: I'm a shape! My sides are faces. Well. Excuse the pun.
Zack: *groans* It's not a normal face.
Octagon: Blargh! I am dead!
Lord Drake: That's pathetic.
In the backgorund, Corrack shouts while being booted around.
Lord Corrack: Your face is pathetic!
Lord Drake: Your MOM is pathetic!
Lord Corrack: Your mom's face is-OUCH. Watch those claws!-pathetic.
Lord Drake: Ohh.. That hurts SO much. I might die.
I think that's enough insanity for one episode. xD