Something new people!
I haven't uupted in so long and I feel really bad!
So here is a new set of Guidelines made by everyone's favorite neutral hard ass bot:
:drum roll:
BARRICADE!
Enjoy everyone!
xx
Barricade's guidelines to surviving with a techno organic as a charge.
xx
Barricade sat alone in the recreatational room, for once which was nice for him. Save for Techno, who was at his feet, playing with his various toys that didn't have teeth marks or weren't broken.
"Hmmmm..how to write this without your mom coming after me while I'm sleeping?" He asked teh sparkling, not really expecting an answer. The charcoal colored sparkling looked up at the gruff Decepticon, cooing softly.
Barricade smirked slightly. "Ah well, she'd probably come after me anyway...fuck it..screw it!" He quickly corrected himself. "I said screw...remember, kid..."
Luckiy, Techno wasn't paying attention at all.
Picking up the data pad, he quickly began to jot down various rules:
Such as:
Rule #1: Always make sure Tai isn't bored:
(She always ends up making me question my sanity..)
(Many, many times.)
(Like the time, she catapulted a excercise ball right into Sam's face.)
(While everyone was freaking out...)
(I fell over, I was lauging so hard.)
xx
Rule #2: Always remember, she can be very cruel when she wants to be.
(Very, very cruel.)
xx
Rule #3: When she is giving you a car wash, don't encourage singing of any kind.
(I swear, she does it on purpose!)
(Bitch...made my receptor ring for weeks...)
xx
Rule #4: Always be prepared for random burst's from her mouth:
(A few of my favorites.)
*"'I never said they would never find us, I recall saying that it would take longer.." (That was what Tai call's an epic sweat drop moment...I felt kinda bad for that human...) (Well, not really.)
*"'I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!" (Sam...it's a fucking purse!)
*"'Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I?" (Boss bot's optic has yet to stop twitching.)
*"'My forecast? Sunny side up." (I just so happened to put my foot out right after she said that..) (*smirks*)
*"File this under:; Ouch." (That one still makes me laugh...especially the image of her saying that rigth after crashing into a tank.)
*"'Follow your dreams...except the ones when you're at school in your underwear." (Behold, ladies and gentlemen, her pep talks actually work!) (I was amazed!)
*"'Hey, The box is there for a reason. I feel safe in there." (Bee and I were wondering why we haven't seen Sam or Tai for a couple hours..)(Last place, I would've looked..)
xx
Rule #5: "Double rainbow all the way across the sky..."
(Goddammit, Tai!)
xx
Rule #6: Never make fun of her height or as she calls it, her lack of breastyness.
(Ugh.)
(I felt a sense of pride when she somehow managed to hog tie Sunny.)
(Optimus did too...you could see it in his face.)
xx
Rule #7: If she chooses to name her various under garment things...just let her.
(Milk duds and Nip up's are my favorite ones.)
(I really shouldn't think about her bra...)
(Nasty.)
xx
Rule #8: Always be there to supervise when there is a dare challenge.
(Tai can now hold her breath for five minutes and 30 seconds before she passes out cold on the floor.)
(That can't be good for her brain.)
(Sam still wins at the raisens up the nose.)
(Which I don't know if that's impressive or revolting.)
(Let's just go with both.)
xx
Rule #9: Keep Sing-a-ma-jigs away from her.
(Those things are fragging annoying as hell!)
(She made it sing My darling Clementine for twenty minutes..)
(She's still looking for it..)
(If anyone asks, it disappeared...)
xx
Rule #10: Never ask her what the battle plan is.
(She will respond with the following.)
*"Hell if I know."
*"You mean don't know?" (I thought that human was gonna pass out.)
*"Okay, I'll distract them with a sexy fan dance, you go out there and warm them up." (*rolls optics*)
*"Oh no, the rapture! Quick, get the twins out of the base before God comes!" (Okay, that made me laugh..) (Along with Jazz.) (What else was awesome she didn't specify which set of twins.)
*"What'd you call me?"
*And my favorite, "Do I look like someone who knows what the hell is happening?" (I could've said so many witty things but I was rather tired at that time.) (Le Slag.)
xx
All in all, Tai is a great friend and charge...but hopefully, thisn list of survivor tips will help.
'Til next time,
Barricade, outskie.
xx
HAH! I've been wanting to do this for a long time now!
Damn you, writers block...I shall over-come you!
I need your help people!
INSPIRE ME!
Til all are one and a third,
Tatyana Witwicky/Prime!