"I want to marry Kaoru," I told mom once.

She picked me up and locked me away. I don't know what happened to Kaoru that day. I sat alone in that room for so long.

It tore me apart.

I cried. I cried for the first time for real ever since our birth. Kaoru wasn't there.

I love him so much, Kaoru means everything to me. I'd never live without Kaoru. Without me, Kaoru would never live.

The first time Kaoru cried... I bawled. I sob every single time I see Kaoru cry, but I'd never tell him that. No way in the whole entire universe would I ever let Kaoru know how much I love Kaoru. If I told Kaoru how much I loved him, I'm afraid he'd hate me forever or at least not feel the same way back.

"I love you Kaoru," I whispered to him one night as I stroked his body. Oh, I love him so much.

He's such a horrible person. I love it.

Mostly, because I know what's really inside of his heart. I know what's really there, and it's kindness. I don't actually understand most of the metaphors Kaoru uses, for I suck at English really bad. So he helps me with my homework and I help him in school.

Kaoru... is something different.

He's not a girl.

Yet, he makes me feel all tingly inside everytime I see him. I just want to hug him and never let him go.

However, that sounds pretty girly, doesn't it?

"I'll never let those two fall in love," I heard mom tell dad one night.

"What do you mean?" He asked her. I peered around the corner and stared at them.

She shook her head. "Do you see the way they look at eachother? How close they are? They even still take baths together, and they're almost teenagers, that's not natural! We gotta get them to at least seperate a bit, give eachother a little breathing space, they are two people anyway."

"Do you see it?"

"Hmm?"

"We can't split them, the two will argue or pretend to hate eachother and make us feel bad. That's what they did when we tried to give one of them time outs for saying that they loved the other one and wanted to marry them," Dad explained.

Our parents groaned.

"I wanted grandchildren," My mom had sighed.

Kaoru... never did talk to mom and dad much. He even refused to say I love you.

That doesn't mean Kaoru hated them, he was just upset that they left us all the time. He got so happy and lively whenever mom and dad came home. They usually left shortly after though, and then Kaoru got bored.

"I hate you," Kaoru told me once as we sat together doing our homework when mom and dad were gone.

"What?" I asked in disbelief.

"I hate you," Kaoru scowled. "If I was an only child, mom and dad would pay attention to me more."

What scares me about that... is he meant it.

Kaoru really meant it!

He hates me.

I don't really... think things as clearly as Kaoru does. I never thought of our relationship as more than us against the world. I didn't think about the alternatives of our world of loneliness, I just knew that we were together. I never wanted it to change. Something about Kaoru though... it changed me.

"What are you doing?" I asked Kaoru as he sat on the toilet seat in the bathroom, doing nothing.

"...Hiding..." Kaoru whispered extremely quietly.

"From who?"

Kaoru looked away from me.

"Like it matters to you!" He hissed. "Just go away."

He was mad at me, I know that. Kaoru was angry because I had puberty before him. We were different for once. I tried my hardest to keep us the same.

"Kaoru, I'm really worried about you."

"Go away!"

"I'm your twin, I don't have to."

"You're Kaoru's twin!" Kaoru hissed at me.

I... still don't know what he meant by that... I know one thing though, I'm telling mom the next time I get to talk to her when Kaoru's not around.

Kaoru needs therapy. REALLY bad.