Author's Note: I am so sorry I haven't updated in months. December was busy and then I had midterms. So I didn't have as much time to write as I would have liked. And I didn't get to write the scenes I wanted. They don't fit just yet.
I hope you enjoy this chapter. Here it is now.
Disclaimer: I don't own PLL.
Wilden's face was flushed. Emily wondered if that was due to the alcohol or more because he was angry at seeing her. His eyes were jaundiced and glassy. She didn't have to get any closer to him to know that he smelt like he'd ignite if he met a lit match.
"What is she doing here? She put me through hell and ruined my life." Wilden fumed at Gavin.
"Just returning the favor after you ruined Spencer's." Her brows furrowed. She was just as angry.
"Well I guess we can skip the introductions." Gavin looked back and forth between Emily and Darren Wilden. But paused on Caleb. "Except I don't really know who you are."
"I'm the man keeping you alive." Caleb looked over at her and he could tell she was seething.
"Fair enough." A booth had opened up and he nodded at it. "Shall we get started?"
That got Emily to act. "What the hell? You expect anything that he tells you to be true?"
"He was the lead on the DiLaurentis case. He knows details." Gavin defended his action.
"You want details, then read the book he wrote. How long did Murder in Rosewood stay on the bestseller list? How much did you make from the movie deal?"
"Spencer Hastings confessed. She knew things that were never released to the public. Things that only the murderer would know." Wilden slurred with conviction. "You saw the tape for yourself."
That damn tape.
"Was that before or after you fed them to her?" If she could glare at him any harder, the man would be flayed on the spot.
"No. That was someone else." Wilden said coolly, but the hand holding his drink was shaking. The surface of the amber liquid was sloshing around the glass.
"So you admit it. That her confession was coerced." Emily crossed her arms in front of her chest triumphantly.
"I didn't know it at the time, but yes. Though not by me."
Emily knew exactly who Wilden was talking about. A had a hand in everything. A was everywhere. They could never figure out all those years ago how A was watching. They had been foolish to think that A was gone. While the three of them had been untouchable, A had apparently gone after other targets. A had to have something on Wilden.
"So you're saying Spencer Hastings gave a false confession?" Gavin's eyes narrowed.
"That's exactly what he said. Try to keep up." Caleb chimed in.
"Like I said, Hastings knew things that had never been released to the public. She had been a person of interest and she had a history of evidence tampering. She told us where the DiLaurentis girl's body was. I know a guilty person when I see one." Wilden stared at her, right through to her lies.
Emily's jaw tightened. "Each time you look in a mirror, right?"
"I struck a nerve." Wilden smirked. "You four were always in the middle of everything. You want to know what the local newspaper called them, Mr Andrews? Pretty Little Liars." He emphasized each word. "But here you are now. All grown up." He leered at her.
"That's enough," Caleb cut in.
"You said four of them. So aside from Spencer Hastings and Dr. Fields here, that would be Hanna Marin and Aria Montgomery, correct?"
"Give the man a prize." Wilden didn't look impressed.
Neither was Emily. "For knowing how to use Google? For knowing how to do the bare minimum of his job?" She was getting impatient. This was the man that outed her. The bastard that hounded Hanna and her mother. Who helped take Spencer away. Wilden was messing with them, just like he did in Rosewood. He was enjoying it.
"You've come a long way, Dr. Fields. A far cry from from that nice, quiet girl in the library. This is the level of bark I expect from Hastings. How is she by the way? Her PO says she's keeping her head down and her mouth shut. If she had just done that from the start then we wouldn't be here." The ice in Wilden's glass clinked as he took a gulp.
"Then maybe you would have caught the real killer." Emily leaned forward. "And an innocent girl wouldn't have gone to prison."
He shook his head. "Spencer Hastings is far from innocent. And so are you."
The accusation was like a slap to the face. The secrets she was keeping under bubbled up to the surface. Even though she weighed them down in the depths of her mind and hoped they would wash away, they were still there to float up and her crimes would be discovered. But her wants and her desires, the kiss, they were all in her veins left to boil over every time.
"Don't." Emily slammed her palms flat on the table.
The glass fell over. But it was mostly empty, a small mix of alcohol and melted ice. "You owe me a drink."
"Go ahead and drown yourself." Emily growled. She stood up. "He doesn't know anything."
"I know what Veronica Hastings knew."
It stopped Emily cold. "And what is that?"
"That it didn't end in Rosewood." Wilden spat out bitterly.
It made her think of something Jason DiLaurentis told her in much the same way. He had no love for their hometown and spoke of it with such distaste. He had lost so much there and the streets held just as many memories for him as they did for her.
"I don't think I can thank you enough for doing this." Emily pulled out of the hug.
"If I could do one good thing in my life, then I'm happy that it's for you, were one of Ali's best friends. And hers…" Jason trailed off.
"You can say her name." Emily frowned. He treated Spencer like she was the one that had died, a shameful secret that needed to stay buried.
"I can't. It hurts to think about what happened." He grimaced and fell silent again as if all he was doing was thinking about it. "I always wonder if there was anything I could have done. If only I was a better brother to both of them instead of the big screw up."
"Hey, nobody thinks that."
Jason laughed wryly. "Don't they? That entire town knows every single detail about my family and they don't bother to whisper when talk about us. They don't let you forget. You can leave Rosewood, but Rosewood will never leave you. She was so excited about getting out, so I warned her. It was already too late by then."
Emily's brows furrowed. "Do you still think Spencer killed Alison?" She still remembered his drunken outburst in the courthouse during the trial. He had gotten better after a stint in rehab, but still she wondered. She trusted him for now, and her wants outweighed the consequences Jason's favor could have.
"I don't know what to think anymore. But I know that nowhere on earth is far away enough from Rosewood. That town is poison and kills you slowly." He fell silent and stared off in the distance so intensely that Emily was sure he was staring into the past.
Emily wanted to get out of Rosewood just as badly as Spencer had, but she still stayed so close to it. She still went back to visit family, but she knew what Jason meant. She wasn't Doctor Fields when she crossed the town limits and drove down Main Street. She was one of the girls whose best friend was murdered and whose girlfriend was murdered. She came with a body count. The blame could have been solely placed on her, some defect in character and strength leading to a failure to protect her loved ones. All of Rosewood could see it and the whispers suffocated her so much that she had to run away to Haiti. When she had returned, she would drown out the buzz with gulps from a flask.
That had been the plan.
But Spencer had pulled her up when she confessed. It was like she had given up the last life jacket, when they all had been treading water for far too long, barely able to keep their heads above the water. Because of Spencer she was safe and sound on the shore.
Emily had the sinking feeling that even though Spencer was back with her, the other woman was still drowning, but refusing to take the lifeline. The same lifeline Emily had been offering for years.
"It never ends with Rosewood." Emily shook her head.
"So what about Veronica Hastings?" Caleb took over the questioning so Emily could collect herself. Gavin had a steno notebook out, already with pen to paper.
"She would always come to me with new information or a new lead to prove her daughter's innocence." Wilden slumped over his drink and stared deep into the glass. "I put them in the round file."
Emily looked at him blankly, until she realized what he meant. She was furious, but Caleb beat her to it.
"You threw it away." Caleb didn't sound surprised.
"Her daughter confessed. I couldn't help her."
"Yeah. Or you wouldn't. Solving that case made you. You got a promotion and a book deal! You got to live a cushy, comfortable life, while she was in prison for a crime she didn't commit."
"Looks like you did too." Wilden raked his eyes up and down her again.
Caleb put himself in between the man and Emily. "Do you have information or not?"
"I do. Don't I, Mr. Andrews?" Wilden was all too happy to have an audience.
"He does." Gavin set his pen down. He picked up his notebook and flipped back through it. He stopped on a page and handed it over to Caleb.
Caleb showed it to Emily. It was a list of names, towns, and years. She felt her stomach twist and turn. It was a lot of names. It was a lot of girls.
And Spencer knew about each of them.
If she blamed herself for Ezra and her mother's deaths, then she definitely blamed herself for every single one of these murders. It was a way to prove Spencer's innocence, but she wouldn't see it that way.
"They're all unsolved cases. Anyone with access to the internet can go to the town's newspaper and look it up. Young girls, ages 12 to 17. The most recent case happened two years ago." Gavin took the notebook back and flipped to another page.
"I have to hand it to Veronica. She did some of this work on her own. Looking for these girls and finding a connection to them."
"Doing your job for you, right?" Caleb crossed his arms.
"She found six of the girls. I found the rest." Wilden answered.
"How many are there?" Emily tried to steady her voice.
"Eleven. That we know of." The man went to take a swig of his drink, but found it empty. "Could be more." He flagged down a waitress. "Can't really be sure until we catch this fucker."
"I have to ask this." Gavin glanced at Caleb and Emily, then turned to Wilden. "What makes you think this is the work of a serial killer?"
"Instead of eleven different murderers that haven't been caught yet? Which one is less horrifying?" Wilden's hand was gripping his glass so tight, his knuckles were white. "While none of the victims looked the same, you know different hair colors and races, each girl was small or slight, easy to get under control. Whoever was around and available. Each one was strangled. Sound familiar, Emily?"
"Maya." Emily whispered as she sat back down. She found out exactly how her girlfriend was murdered when the trial court played Spencer's taped confession where she coldly described that night in her own backyard. The judge asked follow up questions, which Spencer answered while staring straight at her. Emily had only stared back, hoping that Spencer would just stop lying. That she would stop hurting her.
It made no sense that Spencer, that anyone, would give such self incriminating information so freely. It wasn't just stupid, it was suicide.
"Maya St. Germain. Not only strangled but her windpipe was crushed. That was personal. Someone had a lot of rage to do that damage. Catching the people that could do that to a person, that could do that again. I was under a lot of pressure to make sure that was Reynolds and Hastings. When she went away for those murders, the town was relieved."
"And for that you were hailed a hero." Gavin said disgustedly.
"You wanted it to be Spencer." Emily accused.
"I interrogated her. For hours. But she insisted that she did everything with only Reynolds to do the dirty work. And when I went down to the county jail to see if he would confirm everything Hastings confessed to, Reynolds was dead in his cell."
"How convenient for you." Emily often wondered what the outcome of Spencer's trial would have been if Garrett Reynolds had lived long enough to make a statement. It could have cast a doubt on Spencer's confession. She probably would have had been called a liar, nothing she hadn't been called before, and had her reputation ruined all the same, but she wouldn't have lost fifteen years of her life and she could have started over somewhere new and Emily could have helped her forget Rosewood.
"Usually self preservation wins over loyalty, but she never gave you three up."
"You wanted all four of them." Caleb stated angrily.
"That was part of the deal she cut. Immunity for her friends. The DA went for it and they saved money on a lengthy trial. And it's not like there was evidence to link you to the murders."
"There was no evidence at all to prove that we were guilty."
"Nothing to prove her innocent either." Wilden cocked his head to the side. "Not much in way of forensic evidence."
"So much for reasonable doubt." Caleb glared.
"I went with my gut on that. She was hiding something. I wasn't wrong about that." Wilden's face went slack, like all the fight went out of him. He was a man that wanted to get lost in a haze of alcohol and forget. He did want to drown himself. "But I let a murderer go free."
"How does that feel? To have those deaths on your head." Emily spat out. "That's twelve girls who lost their lives over your mistake. Spencer was just as much a victim as they are.
"Don't you think I know that?" Wilden raged. "I can't give those families those graduations, those weddings, or their daughters back. I can't give Spencer Hastings back the time I stole from her. But I can give her a future."
Emily didn't want to believe him. "When did you get so noble? Why now? Why did you wait so fucking long? Why did those girls have to be killed before you did anything?"
Wilden swallowed hard. "You don't want to hear anything I have to say and there's nothing I could say."
"Finally, you're right about something."
"But I will catch this bastard. I will end this, even if it kills me."
The waitress returned with Wilden's drink. He took the glass eagerly.
"So what are you doing about it? Or more accurately, what can you do about it. You're not even a cop anymore."
Emily looked over at Caleb. She didn't know that. She preferred to know as little as possible about Wilden and pretend he didn't exist. Thinking about the bastard made her blood boil.
"Rosewood. I gave them the best years of my life and then they just let me go." Wilden said bitterly.
"Your best years are obviously far behind you." Emily sneered.
"How nice for you. To have never made a mistake that hurt someone." Wilden held his glass up with a nod to her. "To your perfect life. Cheers."
Emily gritted her teeth. Wilden didn't know her. She was far from perfect. She had worked hard to get where she was. Nothing was handed to her. She put the hours and the sweat. After knowing what it felt like to lose everything, she went after what she wanted.
Gavin cut in before she could say anything. "Even though he isn't a cop. He's a private investigator, so while limited, he does have the resources."
"Police are reluctant to say that a murder could be a serial homicide. Sometimes they don't want to hear it. The community gets anxious and worried forcing the police to rush. Sometimes they'll take shortcuts to close the case. Hastings picked the wrong time to confess."
"Timing is everything." Gavin agreed. "The police wouldn't listen to him. But I will. So his employer, my source, set up this meeting."
"I've got a couple of questions." Caleb cut in.
"Go ahead." Gavin waved him on.
"First, who's The Source?"
It's what Emily was going to ask. She couldn't handle anymore shadowy figures controlling the board and moving the pieces.
Gavin fumbled. "Well, uh, I don't know exactly. They wish to remain anonymous. Like Deepthroat."
The three of them looked over at Wilden. "I don't get paid to know who it is. Next question."
"So what finally got you to realize that someone else was responsible? That it was all connected?"
"Veronica Hastings. Hounding me from the grave." Wilden grinned. "Got to admire her tenacity. A lawyer came around telling me that I was a beneficiary of her last will and testament."
"She left you money?" Emily's brows furrowed.
"Ask your wife. That's who you're married to right? Those scars were still kinda raw when she showed up back then. Looks like you still ended up with a lawyer. Seems like you have a type." The grin didn't leave Wilden's face, even as he traced his thumb on a spot on his lip. It only deepened, like the two of them shared a secret. "But no. She didn't leave me money. But she did for my daughter."
"Someone willingly had a child with you?"
"You're just full of questions. Yes. I have a daughter. She lives with her mother, my ex-wife who probably hates my guts more than you do." Wilden took another gulp of his drink. "For someone who should be cursing my name like the rest of you to do something like that… And I get it now. You have a daughter, you'd do anything for her, wouldn't you?"
As loathe as she was to agree with Wilden, Emily found herself nodding. Teddy meant the world to her and if there was something that needed to be done to keep her safe, she would do it. "Yes."
Wilden set his drink down. His hands balled up into fists on each side of the glass. "I'm not a good father. I'm not even a good man. But the thought of someone hurting her, of her being taken from me like that is why this has to end. I let this guy go once. I can put him away."
"So what is it that you want? Money? My blessing? My forgiveness?" Emily gritted her teeth.
"I don't need any of that from you. My employer is funding everything. As for your forgiveness, don't give away something you haven't even given yourself." Wilden looked at his watch. "It's getting late. Does your wife know what you get up to when it gets dark?"
Emily's eyes narrowed. What was he implying. "She knows I'm here."
"But there are some things she doesn't know about." The man cocked his head to the side. "Well, she probably can't help but worry about you with Spencer Hastings back in your lives."
"Shut up. You don't talk about them." Emily snarled. Spencer didn't need to be accused of anymore wrong doing. She was innocent. And Paige? Paige had been through enough hurt to last a lifetime.
Wilden reached inside his jacket. It was then that she noticed two things. One, the man was drenched in sweat. Two, he was carrying a gun. The excessive sweating made her think, but the gun made her tense up.
"Relax. I have a permit for it." He pulled out an envelope. "And this is what I was going for."
He placed the envelope on the table and slid it across to her. "What is this?
"You should know, part of my job is to tail Spencer," Wilden went into a coughing fit. "Do whatever you want with those. I have the originals. We'll be in touch." He turned to Caleb. "And be sure to say hello to your mother-in-law."
"That's it?" Emily yelled at him. "You didn't even tell us anything."
"You'll know when she wants to you know. l'll be seeing you." Wilden winked and gave a salute in way of goodbye. Then he made his way out under own power, but on shaky legs.
"Should we trust him?" Caleb asked Emily. He had every reason to hate Darren Wilden, for what the former detective had tried to do to Hanna and Ashley, but he was deferring to her for what their next step would be.
"A drunk man doesn't lie." Gavin gave his input.
"Yeah. And neither does a dying one." Emily continued to look at the envelope Wilden had given her. She didn't have to open it to know what was inside. The memory of Halloween night was burned into her mind, but to have evidence chilled her to the bone. The only thing stopping her hands from shaking was the thought that Gavin would pick up on her fear of the contents. She could feel the reporter eyeing the envelope as well, but she wasn't going to satisfy his curiosity. "And the answer is no. No to asking me what's in the envelope and no to trusting him. We should listen to what he has to say, but we shouldn't rely on him for answers. I want to keep tabs on him."
"Okay. I won't ask about the envelope. You obviously don't like me enough to have me on the team, which is too bad because I will find out what you're hiding from me. And when I do I could make you look like the hero, or I can do to you what they did to Spencer. It all depends on what information I have." Gavin sounded annoyed.
"You're right. I don't like you. And I don't like reporters. You all smelled blood in the water and you went after Spencer. You lead her on. You lied to her. You used her."
"I'm sorry about all that. But sometimes you have to lie to tell the truth." Gavin did sound remorseful, but Emily didn't care.
"You don't want the truth. You just want a good story. But instead of The Murder Mistress, you're going to give them the wrongfully-accused woman who grew up in prison trying to adjust to the world that moved on without her while clearing her name, starring the usual suspects like the alcoholic atonement detective looking to make amends before he goes, the unlucky childhood friend who just takes what she wants, and a serial killer with a mounting body count. It writes itself. But you're no different from the bottom feeders fifteen years ago. So you do what you want. And I'll be ready with a lawsuit."
"I can help you!"
"Then don't ask about the envelope." Caleb came to Emily's aid, while trying to keep the peace. "You want this story, then be patient. You'll be the only one to have it. It's all yours."
"I'll hold you to that." Gavin gathered up his things. "In the meantime, I'll be looking into these murders all the same." He paused. "Could you tell Spencer that I really am sorry."
Emily just looked right through him. He stood up and left.
Caleb let out a long breath. "What an asshole. Are you okay, Emily?"
That wasn't really what he was asking. They both knew she wasn't okay. What he meant was that he had never seen her so angry and so out of control. She was surprised with herself as well. But seeing Wilden again, just brought out the worst in her. It seemed that was the only side she was showing lately.
Her instincts told her to get rid of the envelope and everything inside. She thought about her lighter and cigarettes in her pocket. She fished them out, knowing she would need their comfort. She could burn it all, but Wilden still had his copies. And nothing could change the fact that the kiss happened.
She opened the envelope. She took out the four photographs inside. No matter how hard she willed her hands to stay still, they had a mind of their own. Her jaw clenched.
There it was. The first picture where she cupped Spencer's cheek. While Spencer looked nervous, it did nothing to hide the longing and utter desperation written on her face. Then there was the kiss itself in the second. The intensity was obvious in the way that Emily was holding Spencer tightly against her own body and the way the other woman was gripping the shirt of her costume. Then there was her lips on Spencer's throat in the third photo, as if she was laying claim to her. It made her feel sick to witness it from the outside, but the final photo was the worst. It was of Spencer standing in the coffee shop alone, fresh tears on her face looking absolutely destroyed.
She was disgusted with herself. She ripped the photos to shreds, trying to get them as small as she could. As small as she felt.
"You just need to relax." Caleb tried to get her to stop. If he had seen what was in the pictures, he wasn't letting on.
Emily threw the pieces onto the table and she slumped into her chair. She took a cigarette out of the pack and lit it. She inhaled deeply, and held her breath, hoping to gather everything up that needed to be let go when she exhaled.
Usually, it was enough. But Emily could still taste Spencer on her lips, feel her body against her own. And if she closed her eyes, she would only see Spencer believing that she had only hallucinated the whole thing. It was an image that Emily needed to forget.
Her phone went off then. It was a noise she dreaded. She hoped it was Paige asking when it was she planned on coming home. She could always soothe her wife over. But she knew with the timing that it could only be one person.
It's a good thing I have copies of my own too- A.
Drowning seemed a good plan as any.
"Then it's a good thing we're in a bar."
Emily only had a couple of drinks. Caleb cut her off after the second glass. It was good to have the burn of cheap vodka spill down her throat. She had decided to revisit her signature drink from her college days. She used to be able to get a girl to go home with her using just a smile, but mixing them both a vodka and soda early on in the night helped put them both at ease.
But she had forgotten how quickly she could get buzzed if she wasn't sipping them slowly over conversations about which professors were hardasses or how classes were going. Usually their red Solo cups would be sitting warm and unfinished on some table when Emily and a girl would leave a party together.
While she was no light weight- a thought that made her chuckle to herself- when it came to drinking, the amount she had in the short span of time she finished them in gave her the desired effects. Which were her feeling relaxed and loose, as well as having a ridiculous smile on her face. Up until the point where Caleb got her in the door of her apartment.
"Oh." Emily had stopped so suddenly that Caleb ended up walking into her.
"What else is wrong now?" Caleb asked, his tone unhappy.
"Paige." Emily whispered. "She's going to be so mad."
"She's not the only one." Caleb sighed, as he set down her messenger bag. "Are you okay to get ready for bed?"
"Yeah. Of course. Easy peasy." Emily waved him off as she toed out of her shoes, losing her balance only briefly before righting herself up. "See!"
"Just make sure the door is locked after I leave." Caleb put his hands back down to his sides once he was sure Emily wasn't going to fall. "I hope you know what you're doing."
Emily shook her head. "It's… complicated." She didn't know if he was talking about their dealings with Wilden and Gavin or the pictures and what it meant for Paige and Spencer. It was the best answer for everything right now.
"I'll call you tomorrow." He looked at his watch. "Or should I say later on today? We'll need to talk about what happened with Wilden. And I'm sure you'll want to talk to Hanna."
She hung her head. Caleb saw the pictures. "Good night, Emily."
Emily checked the door and after finding it locked, she put the safety chain up and leaned against the door. She slipped out of her coat, then draped it over the back of the couch as she passed. She was sobering up with each step towards the bedrooms.
Or at least she was starting to feel anxious again the closer she got to the having a conversation with Paige. Her wife wasn't pleased that she had gone to to meet with one of Gavin's sources. She would be less than happy to know that Emily stayed out even later to have a few drinks.
The first door down the hall was the guest bedroom. She wanted to check on Spencer. She was still sick. She was probably upset after finding out about the girls that came after Rosewood. That was what the reason she gave herself for going into the guest bedroom before the other rooms. And maybe she was trying to put off being on the receiving end of Paige's disappointment for just a few more minutes.
She took a deep breath and opened the door. And she was surprised by what she saw behind it.
Spencer wasn't alone in bed. Paige was asleep next to her.
Emily didn't know what to feel. She felt angry, jealous, and betrayed. It was all so confusing as she stared. The more she stared, the more she came to realize something. That would be the way Paige would feel if she saw the pictures and learned about the kiss. The kiss would destroy Paige just as much as it had Spencer. And that realization was what stopped her from charging into the room, screaming accusations she should be directing at herself.
Spencer was under the covers curled up into Paige's side with her head on her wife's chest. Paige was laying on top of the covers, on her back, with her arm wrapped protectively around the other woman, but she was still dressed in some jeans and a tank top her wife favored wearing around the house. Paige was only doing what she always did; take care of people and protect them. She would have done that even without Emily telling her that Spencer slept better when she wasn't alone.
Paige didn't take, she only gave. Exactly the opposite of Emily.
Emily was starting to realize that she wasn't what Spencer deserved. Or worthy of Paige. But she could be.
She just had to start.
She left the room with her shoulders slumped. She checked in on Teddy. Her daughter was sleeping easier than she had the previous night. Her baby girl was still under the covers peacefully, showing no feverish tossing and turning had taken place. Teddy probably stayed up waiting for her to come home and kiss her good night. Something she couldn't make up for, not yet. She still smelled like cigarette smoke and alcohol.
So instead she whispered, "Good night, Baby Girl." She left the room quietly. She went down the hall to her and Paige's bedroom.
She took off her watch, going to great lengths to put it away safely. Doctors always had a watch. They were incomplete without them. So it became a part of them, so much so that they rarely thought about when they took them off for surgery or at the end of the day. But Emily wore her watch, to be closer to someone else. She took care of the watch when she couldn't take care of Spencer. The watch wasn't hers to keep.
She got undressed, letting her clothes lay where they fell. She'd clean up in the morning, but for now she had another mess to attend to.
Emily went into the bathroom. She could wash away the alcohol and the soap would take care of the stench of cigarette smoke, but she could scrub her skin raw and she still wouldn't be able to get rid of the guilt. It was a burn that couldn't be soothed. It was a wound that wouldn't heal.
She leaned into the wall and let the hot water strike her skin and pour down her back. It was hotter than she could stand. She stayed there for a long while, before she finished up with her body wash and shampoo at a more reasonable temperature.
Stepping out of the shower, Emily grabbed her robe and wiped her face and the sting of tears from her eyes before getting dressed in a pair of shorts and a loose t-shirt. She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself as she ran her fingers through her hair like a comb. But the sight of the empty bed made her cringe. She couldn't stomach being alone tonight.
Paige had always been there. Steady and dependable, a comfortable constant. Her wife was her best friend. Emily couldn't imagine being without her.
And Spencer?
She knew the pain of not having Spencer in her life. Was she acting like this to make up for lost time? She shook her head.
Emily left their bedroom and went back down the hall. She looked at the door to the guest bedroom. It could be that easy. If she knocked. Or if she just slipped in.
She shook her head. She was trying to be better.
Instead she went into Teddy's bedroom. Once inside, Dantes barked at her entry. Emily shushed the dog, but he happily padded over to her. He nuzzled her leg. Emily couldn't help the smile on her face.
"You're much too friendly for a guard dog. But thanks for staying with her." Emily bent over to scratch his chin. "You're such a good boy."
She crossed the rest of Teddy's room and sat down on the edge of the bed. She leaned down to plant a kiss on the top of her daughter's head.
Teddy stirred. The little girl looked up at her through half-lidded eyes. "Mommy?"
"Hey, Baby Girl. Sorry for waking you up." Emily combed some of Teddy's hair out of her face with her hand.
"S'okay." Teddy murmured. "I waited for you." The little girl closed her eyes again.
Emily frowned. "I know. But I'm here now, right?"
"Yeah."
Emily didn't know if Teddy's response sounded like that because she was tired or because she was disappointed.
"I'm sorry." Emily apologized again. Did she say that word too much these days? Did it lose all it's meaning when coming from her mouth. "Would it be alright if I slept in here tonight?"
Teddy nodded. When Emily pulled back the comforter and got under it, her daughter scooted closer and pressed her back into her side. Emily pulled the blanket over the two of them and settled in. Dantes came over and propped his muzzle on the edge of the bed and let loose a whine. She sighed.
"Just for tonight," she said as she patted the bed on the other side of Teddy. The pitbull jumped onto the bed and curled up next to the little girl. He stared back at her.
It was some small comfort. Dogs gave their love freely and unconditionally. They were always so happy to see their owner, where they were gone for a week or for an hour. And even though Emily wasn't around him as much as Paige or Spencer, Dantes greeted her with affection and joy all the same. There was no passing of judgment on his part. Dantes didn't care about her flaws. Dogs were like that.
In that way, Emily was right to compare Paige and Spencer to a pitbull and a Rottweiler respectively. The loyalty they had for her. Their fierce protectiveness of her. She was glad to have it, but not at a risk to themselves. But they weren't completely blind to her faults. Spencer didn't fully trust her still. Paige was starting to hold back again. She couldn't blame them.
She huffed in frustration and put the crook of her elbow across her eyes as if it would block out the thoughts. A racing mind always came at night and no matter how fast each worry ran through her mind, another was right behind it to take it's place. It was so tiring. But she didn't fall asleep, knowing things might be worse when she woke up.
It was barking and a shift in the bed that roused Emily from sleep. She groaned a little bit, but kept her eyes shut. She heard giggling and that was all the warning she received before small arms wrapped themselves around her shoulders.
"Love you, Mommy!" Teddy whispered into her chest.
"Hey, Baby Girl." Emily gave a small yawn as she rubbed her daughter's back. "Thanks for sharing your bed with me."
"You should sleep over more often," Teddy said as she let go and looked up.
Paige was standing with Dantes excitedly circling around her legs. "Good morning, guys."
Her wife was smiling, but it was only for the benefit of their daughter. The smile didn't really reach her eyes. "Hey, Tedge? Why don't you go out to the living room and watch some cartoons?"
"Codename: Princess?" Teddy asked eagerly.
"Whatever you want! It's all set up."
Teddy looked between her mothers with some hesitation.
"Go on. Dantes can keep you company." Emily hoped she sounded reassuring. She knew how much children could actually pick up. Teddy was especially perceptive for her age.
"You'll watch with me later right?" Teddy bit her lip.
"Maybe a little bit before work."
"Okay. Come on, Dantes." Teddy put her arm around the dog and then the pair left the room.
Emily watched them leave. "Someone looks like they're feeling better."
Another promise from her, and all was forgotten.
But it didn't look like it would go as easily for her when it came to Paige.
"Yeah." Paige trailed off.
"You didn't go on your run?" Emily asked, not knowing what else to say and hoping to fill the silence.
"No, I didn't. I wanted to make sure we had time for this. Time to talk."
"Last night, I shouldn't have run off like that." Emily offered.
Paige held a hand up to stop her. "You saw an opening and you took it. I'd have done the same thing. I know you can handle yourself, but I still can't help but worry."
Emily shuddered. That was exactly what Wilden had said last night to get under her skin. She got off the bed.
"And there is a lot to be worried about, isn't there?" Her wife looked back at the door.
"Paige?" Emily's heart started to race.
"Spencer was really upset last night. She blames herself for all those girls. She didn't want to be alone last night."
"I can't blame her. I didn't want to be alone last night either." She felt some relief as she gestured around the room.
"I only meant to stay with her until she fell asleep. But I guess I fell asleep too."
"No. My God. That's fine. I'm glad she wasn't alone." Emily couldn't believe how lucky she was to have Paige.
Paige cocked her head to the side, like she was studying her. Emily couldn't withstand her gaze. "Who was Gavin's source?"
"You're not going to believe this." Emily's expression turned sour. "Darren Wilden. And he said-"
"Shouldn't Spencer be here for this?"
"I didn't learn anything we didn't already know." She wanted to keep Spencer far away from Wilden as much as possible.
"Still. Spencer should be a part of this." Paige objected.
"No." Emily growled. "Why do you insist on bringing up Spencer?"
"Because she's involved!" Paige continued before Emily could get a word of protest out. "She's innocent, of course. But whoever is doing this, whoever A is, got away with murder. I know you want to save Spencer, but you have to give her the chance to save herself!" Her voice was raised. "I know what it's like to be hungry for redemption. And I can see that she is starving for it."
"I'm trying to help her!"
"You're doing what you want. After fifteen years of being controlled by everyone, she doesn't need to be controlled by you." Paige's voice was low and steady as she spoke.
But Emily still flinched.
"You need to think about what you're doing, Em. I get it. I do. You think I want the person that did this to me," Paige used her left hand to point at the scars on her face. "The person that could hurt my family to get away with it? This monster is dangerous, yes, but we all have to be careful. I'm going to go check on our daughter." Paige left her standing in the middle of the room.
Paige never used her attack against her. But she was upset and afraid. Just afraid of what could happen to her wife and child. She was telling her what they had at stake. She didn't need that reminder. She only needed to look around their daughter's bedroom to know what mattered most. She knew the annihilation of loss all too well.
Which is why she had to fight. She had to end this once and for all. For Teddy and Paige. For Spencer. For her friends, and for Alison and Maya. For all the victims. And for herself.
She left Teddy's bedroom. Paige was right. Spencer had a right to know about Wilden, that someone was paying him to watch her. And that there was another player in the game. She could give Spencer the chance to save herself. That was the first step in making things right between them.
Since the guest bedroom was just right next to Teddy's room, Emily was standing in front of the door in less than a minute. Thinking of what she had walked in last night, she made sure to knock before entering. It was more to prepare herself more than Spencer.
Spencer was on the floor, doing sit ups. She seemed to have been at it for quite some time, if the glisten of sweat on her forehead was any indication. She let out a hard exhale of air.
"Hey." Spencer's jaw was clenched as she did her exercise.
"Uh…" Emily found it very distracting. She swallowed hard as she thought about Spencer's abs. "Good. You're awake."
Spencer paused and raised an eyebrow. Then she went back to her sit ups.
"We should talk." Emily tried to start.
"Go ahead. I'm listening." Spencer stopped, and then got to her knees. Instead of standing up, she put her palms flat on the floor, followed by her toes and the balls of her feet. She started cranking out push ups with perfect form.
"I went out last night. To meet someone-"
"Gavin, right?" Spencer was still doing push ups, but Emily noticed that her face took on a harder edge.
"He's an idiot, Spence. You don't-"
"What did he have to say? Should I be looking forward to an article about my murderous past? I may be good for nothing, but I'm least good for the front page." Spencer had stopped, but started another set of push ups. This time, when she lowered herself to the floor, she raised one of her legs up and out to the side bringing it up so that her knee was almost touching her elbow.
"That's not true! You're so much better than that asshole."
Spencer didn't say anything. She just continued to do the same push up but with her other leg.
"I told him if he wrote about you, he'd regret it. But he wants to do another story."
"Well, I'm used to being old news. Gone and forgotten for a bigger and more scandalous headline."
"It's about those girls, Spencer. The ones after Alison and Maya. It could clear your name!"
That only seemed to be a signal for Spencer to switch exercises. Emily continued, "They aren't your fault. You can't blame yourself for their deaths. Would you just stop and look at me!"
Spencer got to her feet and stood up. "What, Doc? Just trying to get a clean bill of health so I can get out of your perfect hair."
"What is wrong with you?" Emily couldn't understand why Spencer was being so hostile to her.
"Everything!" Spencer yelled back. "I tried to do the right thing. But it was wrong. All wrong. Those girls are dead because I didn't stop A. Because I was selfish."
"Spencer, you were just a kid then yourself. And you could never be selfish. So don't ever think that." Emily softened. She stepped toward Spencer. Though she hesitated. She didn't know if she should hug her. It was wanted she wanted, but she wasn't sure it was what Spencer wanted.
But Spencer threw her arms around Emily, gripping her tight. As if letting go meant losing herself, losing what little was left. It was very much like that embrace they had shared days ago when Spencer expressed how she wasn't brave or dignified like a lion. And now she was saying she was selfish.
Emily ran her fingers through Spencer's hair, hoping it was giving her as much comfort as it was giving her. Without thinking, she kissed the top of Spencer's head. It felt natural to do so. It was just second nature.
Spencer's lips found the bare skin above the collar of Emily's shirt. "I am selfish."
Emily gasped at the contact. But as quickly as it had come on, it had ended. Spencer pulled away.
"Don't you understand? You have Teddy and Paige to worry about. And I have no one. I have nothing to lose. No one A can use to hurt me." Spencer looked at her sadly. There were unshed tears in her eyes.
"No. No! Don't you dare say goodbye." Emily's brows furrowed. "Like it or not, you have us."
"I can't. A will hurt you."
"A's already hurt me. By taking you away from me. Do you think A will stop just because you're out of our lives again? A didn't stop the first time!"
Spencer flinched and looked down at her feet. Emily instantly regretted it. The murders of those girls had to weigh heavily on her soul. She didn't need that shoved in her face.
"I should go. I mean, I've been here long enough. My parole officer is probably…" Spencer's eyes widened. "Oh my God. If she went looking for me and I wasn't there, it's all over. I can't go back, Em! I can't!"
It was still a shock to see Spencer go through a whirlwind of emotions. She was dejected one minute and like a flip she was in a panic.
"It'll be fine. I'm sure if we explained the situation to her, she'd understand. You were sick. I was taking care of you."
Spencer laughed bitterly. "This isn't me staying home from school sick. A phone call from mom isn't going to cut it." She squeezed her eyes shut and pressed the heels of her palms into them. She was shaking, the fear of going back to prison and the memory of her mother taking their toll.
Emily put her hands on Spencer's shoulders to steady her. "You won't go back. I'll make sure of it. Okay?"
"Okay." The response was a whisper. It sounded like Spencer didn't quite believe her.
There was a knock at the door. Spencer tensed at the sound, but didn't move away from her. Emily reluctantly let go of one of Spencer's shoulders, letting her hand drop to her side.
"Come in." Emily called out.
The door opened slowly and Paige peaked around it. She looked between the two of them. She became instantly concerned at seeing Spencer wiping at her eye with the back of her hand. "What happened?"
"Nothing." Spencer sniffled, but held her head up. She moved away from both of them. "Is there something you needed Paige?"
"Uh, yeah." Paige seemed to be just as caught off guard as Emily was. But they both knew enough to not push Spencer if she wasn't ready. "Caleb and Hanna are in the living room with Teddy."
While Caleb had suggested they all meet to talk about Wilden, she didn't think he had meant that morning. Caleb would have already told Hanna the important details. His priority would be to how his wife would react to having Wilden involved. But Paige was his friend.
And Hanna would be exasperated with her. The kiss wasn't a secret between the two of them. In fact, Paige was the only one of them that didn't know about the kiss. That was what Hanna was going to talk to her about. The fact that photos existed would just give Hanna more ammunition against Spencer. For Emily, it was just further proof that none of them were in control.
But before Hanna could berate her, they all had to let Spencer know about Wilden.
The three of them walked into the living room. Caleb was holding Teddy on his lap, while Hanna was talking to her about the baby that soon would be joining all of them. Dantes padded over to them and licked Spencer's fingertips. There was a box of danishes on the coffee table.
"Mommy!" Teddy hopped off Caleb's lap, and ran over to tug on her hand. "Auntie Hanna says the baby is gonna be my cousin because you and her are like sisters. I hope it's a girl cousin. Because I already gots boy cousins."
"I guess you'll just have to wait and see." Emily told her daughter. She glanced over at Spencer to gage her reaction.
The woman was standing behind Paige with her head ducked and her lip set to a thin line. It was everything she could do to shield herself from Hanna. Spencer couldn't look any smaller if she tried.
"We, uh, want it to be a surprise." Caleb explained. "Of course, as godmother, Emily knows."
"She knows how to keep a secret." Hanna crossed her arms, staring right at her.
Caleb stepped in to diffuse the situation. "Hey, Teddy? Why don't we let these ladies have their little chat?"
"How come I can't chat?" Teddy pouted at not being included. "I'm a lady, too!"
The conversation they were about to have was one she didn't want Teddy to hear. She was grateful for Caleb offering to distract her daughter while they discussed Wilden and every parent's greatest fear. If she could get Teddy away from all this, she would choose that option every time.
"Young lady-"
"See!" Teddy threw her hands up, just as frustrated as her mother, but for different reasons.
"Well, you're not a lady. Because you're a princess, right?" Caleb grinned.
"Yeah!" Teddy pumped her fist. Emily wondered if her daughter picked that up from her wife. "Can we go fight dragons?"
"But of course, Your Highness." Caleb gave a bow. Then he picked up Teddy and gave her a piggyback ride out towards her bedroom. Dantes watched the pair, but looked up at Spencer and stayed put. The little girl's giggles echoed down the hall.
"Caleb will be a great dad." Spencer murmured as she stared down the hall sadly.
Emily wondered what Spencer was remembering, or if she even had anything like that with her father to remember. The man had never come off as warm when she knew him. He was never around for Spencer, and when he was it felt like he was only mimicking what a good father was supposed to do, like an actor in a role. Or a robot whose programming was off. At least Veronica made an effort. And Veronica stuck by her daughter.
While Peter Hastings just threw her away.
"I am happy for you." Spencer glanced up at Hanna. "Really I am."
Hanna's lips quirked like she was holding back either a snarl or a sob. "Yeah, well…" She turned away.
"Why don't we all get some coffee?" Paige said as she clapped her hands together. She cocked her head to the side and raised her eyebrows. Emily caught her meaning.
"Agreed." This was going to be awkward for everyone. Paige could sense that at least, even if she didn't know the reason. That was the only thing that could make it worse. For now, Paige was just a spectator. "Why don't you go help her, Spencer?"
Spencer nodded and headed to the kitchen, like she was grateful for the opportunity to get away from her and Hanna. She held the kitchen door open for Dantes. Paige shook her head at Hanna with a sigh before following Spencer into the kitchen.
"What the hell, Emily?" Hanna hissed at her when they were alone.
"I don't know."
"How can you just stand there and tell me that?" Hanna crossed her arms.
"Because I don't know, Hanna! I wasn't really thinking about anyone watching when it happened." Emily went on the defensive.
"Someone is always watching. And now, Caleb knows. Do you know what position that puts him in? She's his best friend!"
"I'm sorry." She hope she sounded sincere.
"I made him promise not tell her. We both agreed that should be your job. But he may try to warn her. You know him." Hanna patted the empty spot on the couch next to her. Emily sat next to her. "I'd say this isn't like you. To be so reckless. But you're slipping back into those habits. I really thought we were done with this."
"It never ends with Rosewood." Emily put her arms around the blonde's shoulder, who rested her head against hers. "Thank you. For trying with Spencer."
"I'm still mad at her." Hanna explained. "But for once, something isn't her fault." She pulled away. "Fix this, Emily."
Before Emily could say anything else, Paige and Spencer came back into the living room. Paige had a carafe of coffee, while Spencer was holding a tray with the sugar, milk and mugs.
"I thought we would be more comfortable out here." Paige set down a trivet and the carafe on top of it on the coffee table. Spencer followed suit and placed the tray down next to the coffee.
Spencer looked at Emily sitting next to Hanna on the couch. Her lips quirked into a frown, but then it was gone. Emily wondered what it meant. If she was jealous of Hanna's closeness to Emily, or if she longed for the steady friendship that the two still shared. She glanced at the armchair, but then she choose to sit on the loveseat. Paige sat next to her.
"So what happened last night? I know you met with Gavin." Spencer sat up straight, and her chin up, as if in defiance of the name. Anything to show that Gavin hadn't hurt her.
"He wants to write a story. About the girls." Emily explained delicately
"You can say it, Emily. The girls I got murdered. I've heard worse in prison. All the gory details." Spencer sneered.
"Stop it, Spencer!" Hanna shouted.
Spencer's eyes softened at Hanna's request. But then she seemed to steel herself. "What? I'm just making sure we're all caught up. Or is this a case of me being the last to know. Well, it's a good thing I already know about Wilden."
It was startling to hear that Spencer already knew about Wilden. Emily tried to figure out how she found out. Paige could have told her while the two of them were in the kitchen. But Spencer was being standoffish before that. The minute she had walked into the guest bedroom, Spencer was was being difficult.
She tried not to gasp when she was struck with the sudden realization that the guest bedroom was right next to Teddy's. They had tried so hard to make sure that their daughter wouldn't overhear their argument that, she and Paige hadn't thought of Spencer in the next room. Could the walls really be that thin?
No wonder Spencer had tried so strongly to leave.
While lost in thought, the conversation moved on without her.
"Better late than never! Were you ever going to tell us about the deal you made with A?" Hanna shot back.
"No. We were all better off with me in prison." Spencer looked at each of them in turn. "Ignorance is bliss."
Paige coughed. "Maybe we should get back on track." She put a hand on Spencer's knee. It seemed to calm her enough that she nodded.
"Okay." Spencer gave a slow exhale. "What did Wilden want?"
"Wilden didn't seem to want much of anything. Aside from him wanting us to know he was involved." Emily didn't want to say that he was watching Spencer, but she had to. "Someone is paying him to look after you."
"Figures. What else is new? Guards, other prisoners. A, my parole officer, Wilden. Someone is always watching. Same shit, different day." Spencer rubbed her face and leaned forward, putting her elbows against her knees. She stared down at the floor, her mouth covered with her hands. She seemed to be consumed by her thoughts. "And I guess you didn't find out who was footing the bill?"
"Could it be A?" Hanna asked.
"I don't think so? It doesn't feel like A. A is everywhere with unlimited resources, yes. But would they outsource something like this?"
"Like a freakshow corporation of stalking?" Hanna added.
"Beside, whoever hired Wilden is working with Gavin to prove that Spencer is innocent. Doesn't that undo everything A set out to do?" Paige looked at Emily.
"And what was that exactly?" Hanna asked. "Why did A send Spencer to prison?"
"To get rid of me." Spencer said. "To punish me. Because she could. Take your pick."
"She?"
"It's always felt like a woman to me. A man would have just taken what he wanted and thrown me away." Spencer shrugged.
"Like the girls." Emily said what they all were thinking.
Spencer slammed her palms on the coffee table. "This is getting us nowhere." The fire was back in her voice. She stood up. "I'm going to work."
"Do you think that is a good idea?" Emily stood up as well.
"I need to do something. Even if it's just mopping up floors." Spencer's shoulders slumped.
She could understand Spencer's need to keep her hands occupied. She herself busied her hands with cigarettes when she felt trapped. Spencer was someone that needed to be productive, as well as in control. Leaving and going to work was something Spencer could control. She just didn't want the woman to feel like she was being backed into a corner.
"Okay."
Spencer sputtered under the gaze of Hanna. "It helps me think."
"You don't have to explain. I understand." Emily put a hand on her shoulder.
"I'll go," Spencer bit her lip. "Get ready."
"Alright." She let Spencer pull away. She watched the other woman go down the hall back to the guest room.
Hanna and Paige had been watching the exchange. The blonde was doing her best to conceal a glare, but Emily knew her friend better than that. While her wife was harder to read. She was smiling, but it wasn't at it's usual brightest.
"Remember what we just talked about, Em." Paige shook her head. "Try and let her feel what's she's feeling."
"You're right. I know you're right." Emily wished she wasn't. "I better get ready for work, too."
"Yeah. Go get clean." Hanna waved her off, making sure to stress the word clean. "I'm sure Paige and I can entertain ourselves."
Emily sighed. She was uneasy about leaving Paige with Hanna even though she trusted her not to talk about the kiss with Spencer. She may have been disappointed in her, but her best friend would never tell Paige. The blonde was set on her being the one to come clean. But that wouldn't stop Hanna from asking questions about her and Paige's marriage. Hanna and Paige were surprisingly close, and could talk to each other freely. She shot Hanna a warning look, and made her way back to the master bedroom.
The shower she took was quick and cool compared to the one she had earlier. It was more out of peace of mind. Not that it did anything to alleviate the feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. Once she finished up, Emily went through her morning routine and then got dressed in jeans and a green cable knit sweater. She put on the watch. Then she went back to the living room.
Caleb, Teddy and Dantes were back as well; Spencer wasn't.
"Mommy!" Teddy came over to hug her once she saw her.
"Hey, Baby Girl. How was dragon slaying?" Emily returned the hug.
"It was okay. But it turns out," Teddy took a deep breath. "That the dragons weren't the bad guys. They were nice. Just trying to protect a village from an evil, mean king."
"What happened to the evil, mean king?"
"He burneded up." Teddy beamed up at her.
Emily was at loss for words. "Oh?"
"Yesh. Do you wanna donut? They're yummy." Teddy went back to the coffee table. The other adults had just watched that exchange in amusement. Caleb shrugged, but was still grinning.
"Your daughter has quite the imagination."
"She gets that from me." Paige chuckled. "Saved you a bearclaw."
"Hey, I have an imagination. Thanks, Babe. You know what I like." Emily picked the bearclaw out of the box.
"That I do." Paige dipped her head.
"Spencer!" Teddy bounded off again. "Uncle Caleb and Auntie Hanna brought donuts. They're really yummy."
"Sorry, Cub. But I have to get to work."
"Didn't you have fun with me?"
"I did. I always have fun with you. But I have to go back to work." Spencer looked sad that she had to go.
Emily knew exactly how Spencer felt right now. It was always hard for her to leave Teddy and go to work. And it was the same way for Paige. All they could do was reassure her and then make sure to spend time with her. She wasn't surprised that Teddy was attached to Spencer.
"You can always come visit me at work though. I'm sure Nina and Eli will be happy to see that you're better." Spencer offered. It was thoughtful of her to tell Teddy that. Emily thought about how she would have made a great mother.
"You'll still come home right?"
"Uh." The shock on Spencer's face was understandable. She didn't feel like she should belong anywhere, no matter how many times Emily tried to make her see that she had a place on the outside.
To think of it from the little girl's point of view, Spencer was already a part of the family, had been for some time. Spencer belonged with them. Teddy had fast accepted the other woman into her life, why not into her home as well? It was the innocence of childish logic.
"Spencer might not be able to stay with us all the time, Baby Girl." Emily said once she finally found her voice. This time she fully accepted her role as the strict parent.
"I-" Spencer bit her lip. "I still have my key. And some of my stuff is still here. So… yeah."
Hanna huffed. She opened her mouth to say something, but closed it when not only Emily, but both Caleb and Paige, gave her a look that said now was not the right time.
While Spencer's answer wasn't good enough for Hanna, it was good enough for Teddy.
"Okay." Teddy gave Spencer a hug. "Bye, bye. I'll see you when I see you. Or both. Work and home!"
"I should be getting to work, too." Emily looked at the watch on her wrist.
"Aww, Mommy."
"I know, Baby Girl. But if I work today, I can have Thanksgiving off." They had just gone through the whole thing with Spencer having to go to work, so Emily was expecting it with her. Usually when Teddy had school, she couldn't wait to leave the house. But since the little girl would be staying home one more day, she wanted all her adults keeping her company.
"Yeah, you said that." Teddy pouted.
"Your mama is going to be here with you. And since you're feeling better, maybe you can visit Spencer later." Emily ran her hand over the girl's head.
"Fine." Teddy trudged over to Paige, and climbed into her lap. Paige instantly cradled h their daughter like she had when she was a baby.
Emily sighed as she followed her over to the couch. "Okay. I'll see you when I get home." She gave Paige a quick kiss. "Bye. I love you."
"Bye, Love." Paige caressed her cheek, but then let her hand fall slow back to Teddy's lap. "I put your jacket in the closet, Spencer. Yours is in there, too."
Paige was always cleaning up after her. "Thanks. Bye, guys." Emily nodded at Hanna and Caleb.
"Bye, Emily. And bye, Spencer. Hope to see you again." Caleb said cheerfully.
"Forever would be too soon." Hanna muttered a little too loudly.
She knew that would be all she'd be getting from the blonde in way of goodbye.
Spencer nodded at everyone in the room and then she made her way to the front door, not waiting for Emily. When she caught up, Spencer was already putting on her field jacket. Emily did the same with her own coat, trying to keep up.
She barely had time to check her pockets for her phone and keys and get her shoes on before Spencer was out the door. She grabbed her messenger bag before chasing after her.
"Hey! Wait up." She caught up with her at the elevators.
"I can walk to work by myself, you know."
"I know you can. Lucky for me, you're on the way." The elevator came and she got on. "So I don't have to walk to work alone. Are you going to keep me company or not?" She held the elevator door open.
Spencer got on.
The ride down was silent. So was the walk to Cupcake-o-Coffee. Spencer was walking a few steps ahead of her most of the time. Head down and avoiding the few people out and about. It was different from how a younger Spencer walked. Emily did follow back then as well, in awe of Spencer's natural leadership and presence. But this was the walk of someone trying to go unnoticed. Someone was always watching.
Spencer stopped as they neared the coffee shop. She turned around. Emily stopped as well, the distance between them more than just physical.
"What are you doing to me?"
"What?"
"I try to leave. And you just suck me back in." Spencer had her hands up to her head.
"Maybe it's because you want to stay." Emily said as she took a step forward.
"Maybe you're just a harder habit to break." Spencer turned away.
Emily wondered what she meant by that.
But Spencer was quickly walking towards the coffee shop.
"Good morning, Sunshine." A woman in a leather jacket and boots was standing out in front of the coffee shop. She pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head as she glanced Spencer up and down. She gave Spencer a smile that Emily didn't like.
Spencer was standing straight, almost like a soldier in formation, but that didn't hide the flush of shame coloring her cheeks. Emily moved in front of her, placing herself between Spencer and unwanted attention. Her brows furrowed. "Excuse me?"
"Emily..." Spencer panicked and tried to pull her back. She just shrugged her off.
"Aren't you going to introduce me?" The woman smirked.
Spencer looked at the woman and then back her. She hesitated. "This is-"
"Doctor Emily Fields. And you are?"
"Molly Mendez." The woman put her hands on her hips, and in the process her jacket pulled back to reveal a gun.
"My parole officer." Spencer wilted, and looked down at her shoes.
Emily mentally cringed, but kept her face neutral. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." Mendez nodded then she looked at Spencer. "You are a hard person to find. But here you are."
"I'm sorry, Ms. Mendez. I should have texted you or called to say what was going on."
Spencer tried to explain.
"It's fine. I sent you a text last night. And your friend replied." Mendez looked at Emily. "Paige?"
"My wife. Who is an attorney by the way."
"No need. She isn't in any trouble. The situation was unavoidable. Beside your boss vouched for you, Sunshine." Mendez motioned her head towards the entrance to the coffee shop. "Why don't you go inside and wait for me at a table."
Spencer glanced at Emily. Her eyes were pleading. And afraid. Afraid of what Emily would do. Or more afraid of what she would find out. Without protest, Spencer went inside.
"So you're Emily Fields." Mendez studied her. "It's all starting to making to sense."
"Do you have a problem with me?"
"With you? Not specifically. But I do have a problem with one of my parolees hanging around someone attached to the crime that landed them in prison in the first place."
"What?" Emily had heard her perfectly fine. This woman had some gall to suggest that she was a bad influence on Spencer.
"I tell my guys to stay away from things as part of their parole. Keep out of their old bars if alcohol impairs their decisions. Go to support groups to prevent relapse in addicts. And to stay away from former associates linked to criminal activities." Mendez was standing with her legs shoulder length apart and her hands in the pockets of her jacket. It appeared to be a relaxed stance, but it was anything but. "Don't you think it's unwise for Spencer to be around you? You were dating one of her alleged victims, were you not? And you loved Alison DiLaurentis as more than a friend. That puts you right in the middle of things."
"Did someone tell you that?" Emily thought of Wilden. "That bastard."
"Spencer is one of my easiest cases. I really like her. I want to see her move forward and succeed. How well can she do that if you're holding her in the past? Something to consider. You have a nice day." The parole officer went inside the coffee shop, leaving Emily alone on the sidewalk.
She looked through the window and watched Mendez sit down at a table across from Spencer, who looked right back at her. She raised her eyebrows, completely humiliated. She ducked her head.
Emily wanted so badly to march in there and tell Spencer there was nothing to be ashamed of. But maybe everyone was right. She was holding Spencer back. Nothing could grow if kept in the shadows.
She turned away from the window. She was always making the same mistakes. As much as Spencer thought Emily kept pulling her back in, she didn't know she was doing the exact same thing to her.
How could Emily stay away?
Her phone went off then. It was a sound that could fill her with dread more than a patient coding. A patient she could help and save, but this was harder. This was something she couldn't save herself from.
She pulled her phone out of her pocket and read the text.
Keep an eye out, Em. Paige didn't and look at what happened to her. -A
Someone was always watching.