i dont own twilight S/M does. Thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!
Chapter 26
BPV.
I awoke early the next morning to a sleeping angel next to me. It took a minute for me to comprehend that I really did get married yesterday…that it wasn't just some wonderful dream. His eyes slowly opened and he smiled my favorite smile. I blushed with the memories of last night.
"Good morning !" I said.
"Good morning love!" Edward smiled. We held each other in our arms for what felt like hours. We leaned in to kiss when the phone rang.
" WHERE ARE YOU!" Alice roared into the phone. I looked at the clock…what was she doing up at 6 am?
" Alice?" I asked a little groggily . I had almost fallen back a sleep in Edward's arms.
"DAMN STRAIGHT IT'S ALICE…NOW WHERE ARE YOU! I NEED TO GET READY!" Alice roared . God Alice was going to go bridezilla on us today.
"Alice it's 6 am…you don't have to be there until 2...chill out!" I said.
"ALICE…STOP BAGGERING BELLA…I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL HER!" Rosalie shouted in the background.
"NO…SHE SAID SHE'D BE OVER BRIGHT AND EARLY…THE SUN'S UP AND SHE'S NOT HERE YET!" Alice said. I had a feeling this was more to do with the fact that she couldn't see what happened last night. She was just using this as an excuse. My feelings were confirmed with the next words out of her mouth.
"So Bella how was your first night was a married woman…I WANT DETS!" Alice emphasized the last part.
"Um I'm still with him right now…I cant really talk about it." I whispered.
"Oh don't be such a prude…guys think it's hot when you talk about having sex with them in front of them…TELL ME!" Alice said. Edward hung up my phone at this point and turned it off
"She doesn't stop does she?" Edward asked annoyed. Just then Edward's phone went off. It was Emmett. Edward picked up.
"what are you on the same wave length as Alice or something…hell no I'm not telling you…god you're the male version of Alice…I'll talk to you later…BYE!" Edward said hanging up the phone. Before he could turn it off Alice tried calling again. Edward hung up on her again and turned the phone off.
" god our family really is mentally ill." I laughed. A few minutes later our door unlocked itself and Alice strode into the room. Edward was just heading for some bathrobes when Alice came in.
"Ugh you could cover up you know!" Alice said turning away in disgust…I didn't know why…when she bugged every possible thing to watch us have sex!
"Um the door was locked for a reason Alice!" Edward said highly annoyed
"What you weren't picking up your phone and I need Bella to come with me…don't worry daddy you'll see her tonight!" Alice said throwing clothes at me and dragging me out of the room.
"Alice…did you ever stop to think about what if we were doing something?" I asked annoyed as Alice pulled me out into the hallway
" I listened…I didn't hear anything…I figured it was safe!" Alice said.
"YOU LISTENED!" I chocked.
"Well it's not like I could see anything…you blocked my camera…I had to know when to come in somehow!" Alice said. Alice truly was perverted
"good we're alone now…so DETS!" Alice demanded once we got into the car. Just then Alice's phone rang. I could hear my savior's voice on the other line.
"ALICE GIVE ME MY WIFE BACK!" Edward roared into the phone.
"NOT UNTIL TONIGHT…SHE'S MY MAID OF HONOR!" Alice spat back.
"FOR ONE NIGHT!" Edward said pissed.
" EXACTLY FOR MY ONE NIGHT!" Alice said hanging up the phone.
"Boys…so dets!" Alice demanded.
"Why don't you just use your own imagination Alice…I really don't feel like explaining it and you've taped it several times before." I said.
"Ooh sounds hot then…did you use the whip?" Alice said excitedly.
"What do you think?" I answered.
"I think you did!" Alice said smiling. I looked off.
"YOU DID…GOD DAMN IT WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BLOCK THE VIDEO…YOUR LEARING WELL GRASSHOPPER…WAIT TILL EMMETT HEARS!" Alice squealed. Just then Emmett called.
"YEAH I GOT DETAILS…EMMETT THEY USED THE WHIP…I KNOW RIGHT…I'M FLOORED…THEY GROW UP SO FAST…EDWARD GIVE EMMETT BACK THE PHONE…DON'T FIGHT WITH ME EDWARD I HAVE YOUR TUX FOR THIS CEREMONY AND I HAVE YOUR WIFE…DON'T FUCK WITH ME!" Alice said hanging up the phone
"Now for the wedding…when we get to the house Rosalie and you will be giving me a manicure and a pedicure, then you'll make me breakfast, then you guys will put my make up on me…don't worry I'll tell you what to do and you guys will do my hair…again I'll give you guys instructions and then you'll put my dress on!" Alice said. Looks like me and Rosalie were going to be doing a lot today. Alice wasn't going to be one of those peaceful brides.
"I am so sorry Bella…I tried to stop her…she locked me in her bedroom…I had to use a Barbie pin to pick the lock but by the time I got out she was already pulling back in the driveway with you!" Rosalie said. For some reason that didn't shock me.
"god I hope that happens to her ten times over…they're staying home tonight…Alice forgot to book her hotel until the last minute she was so driven on wedding plans and they didn't have any room for her…and I'll be home tonight and it's my wedding tomorrow…I'm going to have so much fun tonight!" Rosalie whispered in my ear. An evil grin spread across her face. I was thanking god I wasn't sleeping here tonight. Alice ruling that I was now technically a Cullen said I had to sleep with the grooms party. I was slightly disappointed that I could not help Rosalie get ready…but if it meant not being away from Edward…I was willing to give that up. I still didn't know if Emmett realized he was sleeping in the sleeping bag tonight.
"EW NOT THAT COLOR…it wont go with my color scheme…I said to pick blushing bride not tacky tangerine!" Alice said the minute Rosalie took the nail polish out of the bag.
"This is blushing bride it says so on the label!" Rosalie said.
"Then it must be mislabeled because I know for a fact that that's not blushing bride…but whatever just do it!" Alice said slightly disappointed. Oh my god this is going to be a long day! While her breakfast was cooking Alice helped the both Rose and I with makeup and hair. We were ready before her omelet was even fully cooked. We dressed while Alice ate.
"I have to say your wedding was a lot less hectic then hers…at least with you, you didn't care what we put on you…I mean I actually had time to eat breakfast. With her I'm looking at not eating to at least 3 pm…I don't know how I'm going to do this…I'm slightly hypoglycemic!" Rosalie said.
"Don't worry Rose…I know my cousin…that's why while I was getting the ingredients for the omelet I snuck these in my purse…just let me know if you need one!" I said opening my purse revealing 3 three musketeer bars.
"I don't think we're allowed to eat those especially being around Alice's wedding dress!" Rosalie said.
" ALRIGHT GUYS ITS MAKEUP TIME…CHOP CHOP WE DON'T HAVE ALL DAY YOU KNOW!" Alice pranced into the room.
"omg you stained my shirt…you stained my shirt!" Alice freaked as Rosalie dropped councilor on Alice's "I'm the bride bitch" shirt!
"Alice calm down it's not like it's your wedding dress…it's not your dress!" I said. Rosalie looked like she wanted to kill her. I pulled Rosalie to the side
" I'm going to kill her…Rosalie wrong color…Rosalie you spilt a drop of councilor on me…Rosie this…Rosie that…I cant wait for tomorrow…your lucky that your staying with the boys…I wish I was now how did you deal with her for 25 years!" Rosalie said.
"Rosalie there's something that you need to see…I don't think even Jasper knows about this…Alice is very embarrassed about it." I said bringing Rosalie down stairs and leaving Alice who was deciding between two blue necklaces. I whipped out a tape that I always kept on me for emergencies like this. Images from my eighth birthday started to play. A very familiar scene appeared on the screen. It looked exactly like my wedding only with out the alter and the grand stair case. An almost eight year old Alice came strutting in a model like fashion with a present in hand in the tent.
"did I ever tell you Alice wanted to model?" I asked.
"No I always thought that Alice just wanted to be a fashion designer." Rosalie said.
"No she used to want to model what she designed…but I guess sometimes plans change." I said. Just then my father's voice called out over the video tape "Hey who wants to ride the horse?"
"We do we do!" a bunch of little kids cried running at the horse. Alice was towards the back of the group which meant she wound up at the horses rear end.
"Take a picture of me mommy!" Alice said posing against the back of the horse.
"Charlie I'd get away from that horse…it's dangerous!" My aunt said. This was about ten years before we changed our names.
"Don't call me Charlie…call me Alice and I'll be okay!" Alice said. Right then the horse kicked back hitting Alice right in the pelvic area. Alice fell down and everyone ran screaming.
"Her hip was dislocated effectively shortening one leg both legs were broken and her pelvis was shattered…they told her that she could try to have kids but that she'd have to have a c-section if she did courtesy of the Swan curse . They had to remove bone from both legs which is why we think Alice never reached over five feet though both her parents are five four. Needless to say her modeling career was down the tubes. She took her narcissistic personality and projected it on other people. But on special occasions that make Alice the center of attention... " I said.
"But don't they put bone graphs in?" Rosalie asked.
"Yeah they didn't take and there was too much damage for another attempt." I said.
"well how can Alice be around horses now?" Rosalie asked.
"In Alice's mind glam out does fear any day of the week…so I'm guessing that's why she never developed a fear…in the weeks after the accident it was a joy to be around Alice…lets just say that she's tame now compared to then "GET ME MY SUNNY D…AND I NEED A PARFAIT." I said the last part in an Alice like voice.
" so what your saying is that the reason Alice is like this is because she got kicked in the crouch …god you think that would stop her from being a horney little freak ." Rosalie said
"No I think that made it worse." I said.
"one more thing…why did your aunt call Alice "Charlie?"" Rosalie asked.
"That's another story for another time." I said.
"touchy subject?" Rosalie asked.
"No it's just long and we don't have enough time. I said.
"I PICKED MY NECKLACE ….GOTTA DO MY HAIR!" Alice called from upstairs. Rosalie looked at me and we both went upstairs. We pinned Alice's hair up and got her dress on. Rosalie looked like she wanted to ask more questions but was silent.
It was the same routine as for my wedding. The photographer storming the stairs. Alice posing on the stair case. Really the only difference was Alice was wearing white instead of gold. Alice and her father posed down the isle. Hell she even stopped and twirled at one point.
"Bella I'm dizzy…I'm really dizzy I think I need the three musketeers…" Rosalie passed out before she could finish the sentence. Oh shit what do I do. By the looks of it no one saw that she passed out…they were too busy staring at Alice modeling her wedding gown. Luckily she passed out in a way that I could easily hide her. I just stepped in front of her feet. She couldn't stay like this much longer though …something bad could happen if she didn't get help and fast. I didn't want to disrupt the ceremony but I didn't want Rosalie to die either. Hopefully we could make it to the end of the ceremony.
"Edward!" I whispered trying to get his attention to help me. But for once in his life he was distracted staring happily at Alice and Jasper. So Edward was distracted, Jasper was in the ceremony, Jacob was in no condition to help since he was balling his eyes out in Quils jacket, so who could help me? I met a pair of wandering eyes. He was my last hope.
"Emmett!" I whispered. I caught his attention. Finally I caught someone's attention.
"Get Edward!" I whispered some more.
"What…I cant here you speak up?" Emmett asked.
"GET EDWARD!" I whispered louder.
"OH…EDWARD BELLA NEEDS YOU!" Emmett bellowed. Everyone looked at me. I turned beet red. The plus side was I had Edward's attention…along with everyone else. I pointed towards Rosalie's shoe and mouthed "kaboom!" Edward covered his mouth and had an oh-shit look on his face.
"WHAT ARE YOU GUYS HIDING!" Emmett yelled some more. Alice turned and gave Emmett a dirty look.
"This is my wedding Emmett…your ruining it!" Alice said pissed.
"They're hiding something!" Emmett said. Alice turned towards me. I pointed back towards Rose's shoe.
"Rosalie!" Alice exclaimed.
"Oh shit …I guess I should of allotted more time for her to eat breakfast this morning!" Alice whispered...from what i could see Jasper didn't hear.
"You guess?" I said back.
"Well I didn't know she passes out!" Alice said.
"Alice you've been to her house with her there, you've been to some family events and you didn't know she was hypoglycemic?" I asked.
"I just figured she likes food…I mean every time they brought it up she ate!" Alice said.
"Cut the bull shit Alice…even I knew she was hypoglycemic and what that meant and we all know I'm not the brightest bulb on the tree!" Emmett said finally realizing the situation. Jasper got up from looking at his sister.
"What would possess her to do something like this…she knows that if she doesn't eat for a while that this happens!" Jasper said. Alice looked to the side and started whistling Dixie tunes.
"I hope she wasn't listening to some of the models and trying to loose weight…she's already thin enough!" Jasper said.
"Hell yeah she's hot!" Emmett said
"Now's not the time Emmett!" Edward whispered.
"Um should we call an ambulance I mean she's not coming around." I said.
"No we've dealt with this before…got any water…preferably with ice cubes in it?" Jasper asked the justice of the peace.
"Yeah I'll go get it!" the minister said. Oh no.
"She's not going to be too thrilled when she wakes up!" Jasper said throwing the water on her.
"AHHHHH!" Rosalie screamed coming to. Alice cringed and Jacob said "OMG the poor hair!" I handed Rosalie the three musketeers bar.
"Oh my god I'm so sorry!" Rosalie said.
"humph!" Alice said turning away.
"Don't be ridiculous don't be sorry for passing out…it's not your fault…you cant help that!" Jasper said
"lets continue with the ceremony!" Alice said.
"The perfect person for Emmett…a person who has to eat as much as he does…which means they have cooking skills!" Edward said as we made towards the reception. Emmett had Rosalie slinked on his shoulder and was grabbing massive amounts of food from the all you can eat buffet.
"Just think though it's the perfect excuse to get out of certain family events…"Oh Rosalie didn't eat breakfast this morning…Rosalie skipped lunch" how are they going to know!" Emmett laughed. Emmett was always one to find the humor in bad situations.
" Are you feeling better?" I asked Rosalie.
"Yeah I'll be fine…now that I can eat!" Rosalie said glaring at Alice. Alice looked away.
"The sad part is I tried…I tried making her wedding good but it wasn't enough…I didn't eat for her and she get's mad when I pass out? Screw her if she's going to be like that. I'm the one that should be mad…I'm the one that got hurt…yeah it disrupted her wedding but I'm the one that was more embarrassed…I'm the one that everyone was looking at!…fuck her bitch" Rosalie said under her breath as Alice modeled off her wedding dress to some people.
"Imagine growing up with her!" I said.
"I know…daddy designed it just for me!" Alice said excitedly.
"Is it me or is Alice like a really big bitch to everyone today…I mean she locked me in a room, ripped you away from Edward, turned into commando bitch and then flips out when I pass out…like what the fuck…what did I do to her?" Rosalie complained. Just then Alice sprang out of nowhere.
"Are you enjoying the food Rosalie!" Alice said in a bitch tone.
"No it tastes cheep!" Rosalie said in the same tone.
"huh!" Alice said offended.
"I don't get why Rosalie hates me!" Alice said when Rosalie walked away.
"oh I don't know maybe because you got mad at her for something that you caused…she cant help passing out Alice." Emmett said. For once Emmett was making sense.
" she could of eaten!" Alice said.
"Like you gave us the time…at the end there I felt like I was going to pass out and I'm not hypoglycemic!" I snorted.
"Also you were acting like bridezilla today…hell you ripped Bella out of the hotel room like a woman on a mission…no doubt you put the girls through hell!" Edward said.
"I did not!" Alice said.
"Alice you flipped when you saw make up on your clothes and it was only a droplet that easily came out…and lets not forget the hair incident… "That's not the curl I wanted…I wanted more spiral curls…my wedding is going to be ruined because you incompetent people" and you wonder why Rosalie is blowing a gasket !" I said.
" alright I know I was wrong I'll go apologize." Alice said pissed. She went to follow Rosalie.
" good we'll have some peace now!" I said to myself. Edward grasped my hand and I stared into his smoldering green eyes. We leaned into kiss.
"Oh look at the old married couple!" Emmett laughed pointing at us.
"I always knew Edward would be the first of us to get married…he was always the boring one!" Emmett laughed some more.
"Dude your getting married tomorrow…and I don't think you want Rosalie hearing that in the mood that she's in!" Edward said. We looked over to see Rosalie fighting with Alice. God I wonder what happened now.
"ooh I cant stand her right now!" Rosalie growled.
"why?" I asked
" Alice went over to apologize and wound up blaming the whole thing on me….said it was my fault …that I ruined her wedding…and that none of it was her fault…she's being queen bitch right now!" Rosalie said.
"if it's any consolation I kinda know what your going through…she used to pull stunts like this on her birthday all the time…she'll be normal tomorrow." I said.
"Well I might not be fine tomorrow!" Rosalie said.
"hey do what you want …personally I think Alice needs a taste of bridezilla Rosalie style." I said. Everyone at this table knew Rosalie could out due Alice in that department. I was personally afraid of Rosalie.
"Oh I definitely think she needs that taste!" Rosalie said. Soon afterwards Alice left. Rosalie looked relieved that Alice left.
"You know you should show them that video sometime. Its what made this whole thing bearable for me!" Rosalie said to me.
"What video?" Emmett asked.
"oh one of a young Alice taking a shot where the sun doesn't shine by a horse." Rosalie said.
"Awesome…too bad you don't have that video on you…we could watch it tonight!" Emmett said.
"I wouldn't say I don't have that video!" I said taking out the dvd from my purse
"SWEEET…I love watching these types of videos!" Emmett said. Rosalie went off to the taxi that she called while Emmett, Edward and I went off towards the house. Luckily before we left I grabbed the dress and everything that I needed and left it in my old bedroom.
"Alright I think we settled on you two ( he pointed to Edward and I) in Bella's old room and you (he pointed to Emmett)…living room floor?" Charlie asked.
"What I didn't know about this…I'm the one getting hitched tomorrow…shouldn't I get the bed!" Emmett whined.
"Do you honestly think I'm going to kick my own daughter out of her room just so her brother in law can take her bed…sorry no…and since he's the husband where she goes he goes!" Charlie said sternly.
"The floor sounds comfortable!" Emmett changed course. Charlie then went upstairs and I popped the tape in. Emmett actually repeated the kick multiple times…even at one point slowing it down.
"Now is this going to be the last wedding…I mean I woke up today to find the caterer in my bedroom and staring at me the way Jacob stares at men. It really creped me out." Charlie asked.
"Don't worry dad tomorrow is the last one!" I said. Charlie smiled and we went upstairs.
Lets just say that my room hadn't changed from the day I left. Walking in I thought my father had kept it in its original glory in case I ever had to move back home. I don't think this either of us expected that the next time I had entered this room that I would be married. Certainly I didn't and judging by the fact that Charlie didn't make any changes to this room I didn't think he did either.
"So this is high school Alice?" Edward snickered holding up a picture of a younger Alice with purple streaks in her hair and a matching purple outfit.
" yeah…that was our junior year." I said
"So where have you been staying?" I asked.
" well last time it was in here… with Emmett…Jasper slept on the floor." Edward said. Good so Charlie exhibited good behavior.
"Let me guess has Jasper been giving you some things to deal with Emmett?' I asked.
"maybe an ambien or two!" Edward laughed.
"Well I'm here now so your not going to need that tonight." I said.
"I don't need anything when I'm with you." Edward smiled at me. We blocked the door with the bed incase Charlie had a knee jerk reaction. We were right to think that. When things started to heat up later on my dad freaked like I predicted. We could hear massive amounts of banging on the door.
"Um Bells I need to get a blow dryer!" Charlie called through the door. For god sakes we're married!
"It's in the bathroom dad!" I grunted. A few minutes later there was another knock on the door.
"Um Bells I need a comb!" Charlie said.
"again its in the bathroom!" I said.
"Jesus Christ Charlie let them have their fun. Some of us are not seeing any action tonight and your denying me the chance of living vicariously through him!" Emmett shouted oddly annoyed. It would have been so funny if Alice was here right now.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY BOY…I DON'T LIKE YOUR MOUTH!" Charlie bellowed. Edward muttered "you and me both!" There was a thud followed by Emmett screaming. Charlie went back upstairs and I could hear pride in his every step. He thought he did a job well done and went to bed.
"Night Bells…I'm listening!" Charlie said.
"Me too!" Emmett said.
"your dad's awesome…I don't think anyone has enough balls to hit Emmett outside law enforcement and Rosalie!" Edward said.
" yeah I don't think he ever hit anyone except Emmett." I said.
"Emmett always does bring the best out of people!" Edward said. Considering we had an audience we settled for falling asleep in Edward's arms.