A/N: Poor Prowl. Oh well. Have some romance! *throws sparkly author dust*

And at last, Megatron has a ship! Whooo!

Shockwave Makes A Joke; and then Karma Literally Shoots Him For It

Prowl stooped down to look at the little cars.

Ohh, he was going to hurt Shockwave for this. He probably should have noticed the strange similarities between that tank outside the café and Shockwave beforehand, specifically the SHK-W4V3 decals and the one-eyed Decepticon sigils. (Stupid Red Alert, distracting him with her curves and whatnot.)

He had also figured out the girl called Jenny and the Autobot called Jolt were the same, which made the human children her Not-Sparklings. (Stupid Red Alert, being so adorable and making him use that word.) Which left the strange conundrum of Sam Walsh to be unravelled. However, he had more important things to be doing right now. Like tracking down Stunticons.

Because, here, on the abandoned hard shoulder of Interstate 192, there were no Stunticons.

There were, however, five dinky little toy cars, precisely the same as the Stunticons' vehicle modes and carefully repainted in the Stunticons' exact colours, complete with Decepticon sigils, surface scratches, and true-to-life numberplates.

That smug glitch Shockwave was probably grinning his cracked crimson optic off. Ugh. Prowl turned his back on the mocking little cars and stalked off while envisioning beautiful fantasies of blowing Shockwave up in various imaginative ways as Red Alert watched admiringly.

Prowl was so engaged in stalking off while envisioning beautiful fantasies of blowing Shockwave up in various imaginative ways as Red Alert watched admiringly that he walked straight intothe actual Red Alert, whose expression suddenly switched from one of blissful totally-not-checking-Prowl-out to one more resembling a what-the-where-did-this-Prowl-come-from-help expression.

Their combined efforts to stop each other really only facilitated Red Alert falling into Prowl who then automatically closed his arms around her; she instantly reciprocated the embrace (for support, Prowl insisted to himself) and then they stopped, faceplates inches apart.

"What are we doing?" Red Alert whispered.

"I do not actually know." Prowl whispered back.

Red Alert made a few strange movements with her lips, before pulling her head back shyly and looking away, diodes flashing a few times.

"What was that?" Prowl asked.

"I'm not telling you! You'll laugh at me." Red Alert flared up, her diodes flashing again, this time exceptionally brightly.

"I will not."

"Says who? You? Like you're going to be telling the truth."

"Red Alert-"

"No, what am I talking about? You're Prowl. You're nice. You don't do anything bad." Red Alert chanted to herself over him.

"So will you tell me what that was?" Prowl asked.

"Ugh, ehm, fine. I was trying," Red Alert's voice dropped to a squeak in shame, "to...to...to – oh for the love of – I was trying to kiss you."

Prowl's optics widened and his doorwings flared vertically.

"See! Oh, you're so disgusted and unattracted you're going to glitch, not that I would mind having you on top of me – Oh Primus, I'm turning into Jolt."

Prowl deliberately switched off his logic core and smirked in a way that would make Jazz jealous.

"You recall saying I do not 'do anything bad?'"

"Hm? Of course I do, what are you talking abou-mmf!"

"What are you doing now?" Megatron asked impatiently.

"With all due respect, Megatron, kindly remain quiet while I am performing delicate open-spark surgery on your nigh-offline ex-girlfriend!" Shockwave snapped back for the fifth time. He was getting rather good at channelling his inner Ratchet, he noted.

Megatron opened his mouth as if to retort, then closed it again and sat down. "Carry on."

"Thank you." Shockwave growled. He continued working on the femme, the spark in her spark chamber gradually growing stronger and brighter. As it did so, her colours picked up from the grey they were previously, blossoming into regal-looking satin pink, purple, and metallic golden accents.

She was an early build; much like Megatron himself, she came from the gladiatorial pits in Kaon, Shockwave recalled. What was her vehicle mode again? Ah, that was it. She was a tank.

Shockwave snorted to himself. Trust Megatron to be so illogical as to fall for a femme with less self-control than Wildrider. Whose fairly ample chest also happened to have proportionately large and ridiculously high-calibre 36-E "Planet Buster" laser cannons installed in it as a "defensive" weapon.

The femme's ion hover treads, mounted on her shoulders and the rear of her lower legs; and her boosters, mounted on her back, began to glow a delicate blue. Much like Megatron's optics.

The spark was almost at full strength now. Shockwave closed the spark chamber over, seeing there was nothing more he could do to speed up the femme's reboot process.

There was a loud whirring sound as she onlined. Shockwave leant over to check on her, only for her blue optics to snap open, her to scream "Senator Shockwave?!", and then discharge both her "defensive" cannons directly into his already pretty much screwed optic at point-blank range, sending him flying backwards into the wall.

Shockwave belatedly remembered he had forgotten to deactivate those cannons. He also remembered how much he enjoyed stasis lock.

Megatron was on his stabilisers immediately. "Thunderblast!"

"Megatronus?" Thunderblast asked. "What are you- when did you get a repaint? Ooh, I like you in purple, purrrr."

"It is rather splendid, isn't it. However, this is not the time."

"Not the time? You underestimate my power."

"Oh, no. I distinctly remember your power. Perhaps you require reminding of mine?"

"Down, boy."

"Apologies. I am getting off topic, I wonder whose fault that could be-"

"Hey, if you've got it, flaunt it, I always say."

"First of all, we are not on Cybertron." Megatron said, setting his jaw.

"So then where are we?" Thunderblast replied pragmatically.

"A small planet in the Sol system. Earth."

"Okay. Why are we here, and not kicking the Senate out of their comfy little houses?"

"We already did. You were damaged in the ensuing battle."

"I do seem to remember that part."

"As do I."

"Anyway, so I was in stasis for how long? A couple orbital cycles?"

"Seven and a half million vorns."

"Oh. That does explain why I feel like I'm having a midlife crisis."

"Hilarious."

"Don't you know it, darling."

"This is going to take days to explain to you like this, isn't it."

"Naturally. What's a day?"

"Never mind. Help me with Shockwave."

"Help you chuck him down an Energon well?"

"Help me get him back online so he can explain. He's one of us."

"You replaced me with Shockwave? I'm hurt. And much better looking."

"Unicron's blood, I've missed you, Thunderblast."

"I am pretty brilliant, aren't I?"

Yeah, yeah. I used Thunderblast. But, in this, she's going to be fun and vibrant and everything she could have been in Transformers: Cybertron instead of just basically a useless gold digger. But she's still going to be flirty otherwise it just isn't Thunderblast. I also made her into a tankformer because Megsy doesn't go for boats. Ever. And I don't like the stupid amounts of boat kibble she has on her back.

Yes, that joke about her cannons will never stop being funny. Or stop whatsoever. XD
*Tom loses about seventeen followers*