Thanks to:
Janak77 for the favorite!
FreeSpiritSeeker for the review. Sorry it took so long! :)
Snowbeam12 for the follow and favorite!
TeddyMellark for the follow.
Minka55 for the favorite!
kemmerleemae for the follows and favorites!
Onetimelove71 for the follow, favorite, and review! I'm so glad you like it :))
toulouse88 for favorite, follow, and amazing review! I have to admit, I actually squealed when I read your review. I can't believe you like it so much! Thanks for the details and telling me how I'm doing :)) I hope this chapter lives up to expectations!
Michaela, (toulouse88 or sister?) Wow, thank you so much! I'm sorry it took so long, but hopefully this will make up for it! And welcome to fanfiction ;) It does sort of rope you in lol.
NaomiJane1993 for the review. Yay! Glad you liked it!
Waterlilly87 for the favorite!
eduarrdab for the follow!
Ali for the review. Thanks so much! :))
And as always, Marinka for beta'ing!
Sorry if I forgot anyone or misspelled names or the like. Ya'll are much appreciated! :)
"Are you ready?"
"Yes. I mean no. I mean... I don't know!"
As she frowned down at the unopened letter on the floor, Ginny fancied that it was snickering at her indecision. The sound reminded her of Draco and she could not help but smile. In such a short time, he had changed so much from the embittered, craven young man nursing a scarred ego that he had been.
Memories of their latest detention flashed through her mind. She had not known he could laugh like that, so warm and sincere. Even a quiet snicker had lightened the shadows in his eyes and smoothed the seemingly permanent frown on his forehead. The skin on her hand remembered how his fingers had clasped hers. Heat seared up her arm and into her cheeks unexpectedly.
Why did it affect her so much? He had merely shaken her hand. However much it was a breakthrough, a handshake did not justify the smiles she had fought to suppress. While progress has been made on both sides, she had to remember her base motive. The only reason she was becoming friends with him was to prove that he was not evil, merely a boy who had made bad choices. Everyone deserved a second chance, after all. Beyond that, she had no illusions that they would have become friends on their own.
"Ginny?" Hermione interrupted gently, reaching out a hand to touch her shoulder. Jerking at the unexpected touch, Ginny remembered the purpose of this sleepover—opening Harry's letter.
"Sorry. I was thinking." About Draco again. Apparently, it was her new hobby.
Hermione nodding in understanding. "It's alright, you know. I'm here for you. In fact, how about I open the letter and read it aloud? I can stop at any time." Although her intentions were good, her suggestion did not sit well with Ginny.
Fear had always been a problem for her. Growing up with six older brothers, however, had quickly taught her how to conquer that fear. One letter from a friend, former flame or not, was not going to destroy the confidence she had so painstakingly constructed.
"Thank you, but I'm fine," Ginny assured her. To prove it, she snatched up the envelope and ripped it open. When she felt the weight in the bottom, however, she paused. What if it was The Box? Her heart hammered in her chest. It was too soon, she was too young. What would she say to him? How could she face him after this? What did he expect from her?
Sensing her growing apprehension, Hermione brushed a strand of hair out of Ginny's face. The gesture was so familiar that it took Ginny back to the days when her mother would brush her long locks and sing her to sleep. Oh, how she wished to be young again, free from all these troubling thoughts! Before she met Harry and came to Hogwarts, her greatest fear had been that her brothers would catch her sneaking out to play on their beloved brooms. In many ways, Harry had irrevocably turned her familiar life upside down. She was unsure whether she loved him or hated him for it. It was a troubling mixture of both, she decided.
After an encouraging nod from Hermione, she slid the folded parchment out. There was no use putting it off any longer. If she refused to open it now, it would haunt her thoughts until she finally did. However, she drew the line at the weight in the bottom of the envelope. She could stand to wait to look at that later, at least until she saw what Harry had wrote about it.
Before she began reading, Hermione nodded towards the two half-eaten bowls of ice cream on the couch. Though it had taken her nearly ten minutes to explain to the house-elves what she wanted, twenty minutes for them to make it, and another ten minutes to get it back to the dormitory, the rich treat was certainly worth it.
"More ice cream?"
"Well, I would hate to waste it," Ginny replied teasingly.
Encouraged by the creamy deliciousness sliding down her throat two minutes later, she unfolded the parchment. All the moisture in her mouth evaporated as her eyes leaped from line to line. Now she understood why Hermione had gone to so much trouble to get the ice cream. She plopped another spoonful on her tongue.
Dear Ginny,
I know you probably don't want to be reading this right now, and I understand. I can't wait any longer, though. I miss you, Ginny. I miss you so much. Ron and Hermione have been keeping me updated about what's going on, but that's not enough. I want to talk to you. Soon. I know the Quidditch tryouts are this weekend, but maybe you could stop by Hogsmead Saturday morning. I'll be waiting at the Three Broomsticks.
P.S. Don't worry about the box. It's not what you think. I'm not that thickheaded!
Love,
Harry
For a long time, she just sat there, not knowing what to feel. There was a numb ache in her chest that throbbed every time she thought of him. Every time she tried not thinking of him, her mind would conjure up memories of them together. Repeatedly she replayed them, searching for the answer to her unspoken question:
What now?
Where did they stand? Where did they go from here? Though it pained her to admit, she knew she could never love him the way him wanted her to. Maybe that was okay, though. Maybe she could find a new way to love him, a better way; she would have to if she wanted any peace from her mother. Her ears were already ringing from the anticipated Howler.
Looking up at Hermione, Ginny released a pent-up breath. "I don't know what to think," she admitted. "I've always cared about Harry, and I always will. Merlin, I don't want to hurt him! Not after everything he's been through. And somehow, I feel I owe it to him, you know? After all, I was in love with him for nearly six years! At least, I thought I was. I don't think I really know what love is anymore. But hey, what teenager does?"
She shrugged with a feigned flippancy.
"Still, it was apparent to everyone that I had a major crush on him from the start. It took him a while, but he fell in love with me at last. I was ecstatic in the beginning. I mean, I finally had my happily ever after. Who wouldn't be pleased? In fact, my first thought was, 'It's about bloody time!' Then the War changed everything. I know why you guys left, and I'm okay with you leaving. Really, I am, so don't give me that pitying look," she interjected. "I get enough of that at home from Mum."
"What I'm trying to say is that I wish he hadn't left me behind. I realized then that what I felt was not true love, not like what Mum has for Dad and you have for Ron. I care about him so much—just not like that. What we had was good; it was passionate and comforting. But I don't want just passion! Real love is based on understanding and trust. Harry doesn't trust me like he trusts you and Ron. Frankly, I'm not sure he ever will."
By now, she was talking more to herself than to Hermione. The older girl listened without saying a word, sensing that this was something Ginny had been needing to say for some time now. All she could do was grab Ginny's hands in her own and squeeze.
"I waited on Harry for so long. When he admitted that he loved me, I thought everything else would fall into place and we'd live happily ever after. Then as time went on, I realized that not everything was coming together the way it should; now, I know that it doesn't have to. My life is an incomplete puzzle. And I'm okay with that."
With each sentence, the fire in her eyes flared brighter until it resembled her old confidence and spirit. Ginny straightened her back and lifted her chin as new purpose filled her. Though the words were painful, they were also necessary. It was like breaking a wrongly healed bone to reset it. It had to be done for her to be whole again.
"I realize now that I don't have to plan my life out according to anyone's love, not even Harry's. I am me, Hermione. I'm not Harry, so why should I live my life the way he wants me to? From now on, I'll be making the decisions based on how I feel, not how anyone else thinks I should feel. I'm ready to move on and find out who the real me is—the me who isn't Harry's girlfriend. Honestly, I'm so sick of hearing people describe me as Harry's girl or the tag-along Weasley. I'm more than that. This is my chance to prove it to everyone."
Smiling through her tears, Ginny threw her arms around her fellow Gryffindor. "Thanks for listening to me. I know you're probably dying to say something, so go ahead."
Hermione laughed and returned the hug full-force. "All I have to say is...good for you! I always knew you had it in you." Sobering, she pulled back to met Ginny's eyes. "But Gin, maybe you should go and see Harry. No, don't say anything yet, I know what you're thinking. Just talk to him and tell him how you feel. Trust me, it'll do both of you good. Right now, this uneasy line you two have drawn is only causing both of you pain. Talking it out will give you closure and help you move on. Just think about it, okay?"
Unfortunately, Hermione's suggestion was logical and Ginny found no reason to disagree.
"Fine. I'll go see him. But," she cautioned, wagging her finger at Hermione, "no promises!" They shared a smile before silently agreeing to change the subject.
"So, how are things with you and Ronniekins?" Ginny teased, settling down on her pile of blankets and pillows. It was rare that she became giggly—she abhorred it, actually—, but she decided to indulge her girlishness tonight. After such a heavy topic, they both deserved some lighthearted fun as long as it did not leave the Heads' dormitories. If Ron ever found out the details of this sleepover, she would never live it down.
Hermione shot her a wry look. "Things are just fine, I'll have you know. In fact—" Scooting forward, she whispered, "I think he's going to ask me soon!"
Normally, Peeves was an outgoing poltergeist who enjoyed butting his ghostly head into other people's business. He believed that the world lacked a certain spark of fun and had long since dedicated his life to correcting the issue. While some might find his methods tiresome and downright vexing, he preferred labeling them as "poorly appreciated agents for the people's amusement."
However, even the great and mighty Peeves had his limits. Which was why, when he heard the ear-shattering shrieks emitting from the Head's dormitories as he was floating by, he merely shuddered and continued on his way. The last time he had disturbed Hermione Granger, he had barely escaped unscathed. Intangible he might be, but an entire library of books flying at him still gave him the willies.
Oh, she would have made a top-notch accomplice, Peeves mused wistfully as he switched a snoozing portrait with another one down the hall. The first years will be in for a treat come morning, when they realize that all the familiar markers they had learned to navigate by have been "misplaced."
Now if only he could find McGonagall's knickers...
I love Peeves hehe. Anyways, was Ginny's reaction to the letter believable? And what do ya'll think is in the box? ;) Next update is week-two weeks again. Sorry this one was late :/ Reviews did motivate me, though heh.
I can't wait for chapter 28. It involves Pansy! Might be different from what ya'll are expecting, though. I've recently gained a new perspective on her.
As of now, my chapter layout shows this story reaching around 40 chapters or so. Seems like I've been working on this forever lol.