Well… it's been a while, hasn't it? By sheer coincidence, it's the Fourth of July.

This story crossed 100,000 words in the last chapter, and there's still a ways to go. Yep. I have no doubt that this will definitely end up as my longest story. Sit tight, readers.

I made a lot of changes in this chapter mid-writing, so a lot of useless stuff was taken out. You get to read the result: pure, refined TDR goodness.

Now, I risk one of the biggest changes in TD history!

- Chapter xxvi -

Destination 6 (Part Four) – The AmaZOMG!

Current Venue: The Amazon Rainforest

Geographical Location: Cusco, Cusco Region [Peru]

I could have chosen life, a job, a career, a family, and a big television. I could have chosen washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. I could've chosen good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Maybe chosen fixed interest mortgage repayments, a starter home.

Perhaps I should've chosen different friends, leisurewear, and matching luggage. Possibly chosen a three-piece suit on hire purchase in a range of fabrics. I could have chosen DIY and wondering who the heck I was on Sunday morning.

I could have chosen to sit on a couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing junk food into my mouth. I could've chosen to rot away at the end of it all, pissing my last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, messed up brats I spawned to replace myself. I could have chosen my future. I could have chosen life.

Why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose something else.

The reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got Total Drama?

So, here I was, running from a bunch of people wearing tiki masks somewhere in the heart of the Amazon jungle. I had gone from walking through the jungle to running through it. My, what an improvement that was!

I took the risk and looked behind me. The Zing-Zings were nowhere to be seen.

"Oh, thank goodness-"

Wham!

I slammed headfirst into a tree and thumped onto the ground flat on my butt.

Holy hell, that hurt. That hit me like a- well, like a giant tree.

"Ow!" I said, rubbing my nose. "Son of a beach ball."

First, I got lost with Bridgette as we aimlessly wandered around in the Yukon. Then, it was the injury I sustained in Germany. Now, it was this run-in with the Zing-Zings. Why did I manage to court controversy wherever I go?

We had lost those two challenges. Would this challenge have the same result?

I had sweat all over me. Warm watery beads dripped from my nose and my hair and my eyebrows. I was covered in moisture and couldn't begin to imagine what a hot mess I would look like to an outsider.

Speaking of which, I hoped the networks wouldn't show this moment on air, although I knew full well that they would. I did not like that I was being watched and scrutinized for every move I made.

If this was Total Drama Island, there would probably be a cameraman nearby that could help me find the way back. There were barely any cameramen (or camerawomen) on World Tour, though. Certainly not this deep into the Amazon jungle.

How long did it take to fit the cameras in this place, anyway?

My assumption was that the camera crew arrived a few weeks earlier and set up all the equipment to record our every motion. Chris was probably watching me right now, cackling madly to himself as he realized how hopeless my situation was, lost and alone in this enormous jungle.

As long as I was alone, I could think in peace. As peaceful as one could be in a forest full of vicious creatures and man-eating beasts, anyway.

I pondered how I could further myself in this competition. I had flattered to deceive thus far, and getting my butt lost certainly didn't help matters.

I had to make sure I wasn't kicked off in this episode first. For that to happen, I had to get to Machu Picchu and hope I wasn't the last one there.

Hey, Mowgli and Tarzan had to go through this stuff pretty much every day. I was lucky.

Then again, Mowgli and Tarzan were fictional characters and I wasn't. Using scenarios worse than mine as examples weren't exactly making me feel any better. It's like saying 'I know your situation stinks, but it could be even crappier.'

No. Not helping.

My stomach felt queasy. I could feel my breakfast from the morning coming back up. I bent over and barfed on the Amazon floor. Then I threw up some more. I quickly wiped the vomit off my shoes and mouth with some nearby leaves.

This whole experience was getting worse and worse. I was having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Memories flashed of when I was wandering around aimlessly in Wawanakwa Forest. This was the second time I was out in the woods alone.

I had come in fourth out of four last time and Chef had booted me out. There was no way I was going to let that happen again.

Just like I did back then, I ran. I ran until my muscles burned and my veins pumped battery acid. Then I ran some more. I didn't really have a plan other than running. I would just keep going until I got to the end. Machu Picchu couldn't be that far off, could it?

It felt like this was three or even four Cuils away from reality, but alas, it wasn't to be. This was all very very real.

It was foolish of me to think that I could trek through the forest with my friends and expect it to be all fine and dandy. This was a disaster waiting to happen.

Everywhere I looked, there were creepy-crawlies all along the dirt floor on which I walked. They were nothing but undeveloped, unevolved, barely conscious pond scum, totally convinced of their own superiority as they scurried about their short, pointless lives.

Then again, some even more hyper-advanced creature could say the same about us humans.

Cockroaches were highly resilient insects. They could survive the aftermath of a nuclear explosion and all the radiation from its fallout.

I don't know how long I had been stuck out here, but the blazing sun that had been beating down on me a few hours ago had now settled. It was cooler, but that also meant that night was approaching. It was getting darker, and the last thing I wanted was to be stuck out here all alone in the dark. How much longer could I keep this up?

My mind wandered to more… ominous thoughts. I don't know when I will die. Maybe now, maybe tomorrow, maybe in fifty years. It doesn't matter. Once I am dead and everyone who knew me dies too, it will be as though I never existed.

I know we're all pretty small in the big scheme of things, and I suppose the most you can hope for is to make some kind of difference, but what kind of difference have I made?

What in the world is better because of me? What difference has my life made to anyone? None that I can think of. None at all. I mean sure, I cracked a couple of jokes and made some people laugh. The person that won season two wasn't even me, it was a clone of me from an alternate timeline, so I really couldn't consider that my crowning achievement. It wasn't even my achievement.

I needed to stay focused. My ultimate goal, when all is said and done, was to emerge victorious in this tour. The way I saw it, if you wanted to win Total Drama, you needed to possess four qualities.

The first one of those qualities was 'skill'. This refers to one's own personal skills. For example, one of my skills is my intelligence. I needed to use that skill to the best of my ability and combat the skills of other people. If I didn't use my skills, I would have no way to stay on this show, much less overcome the skills of other people.

The next one was 'tactics'. This means how well a competitor gets along with other people. You need to get along with others and adapt to the environment. For the first half of the show, that means working together as a team and using your skills to benefit others. For the second half of the show, these means forming alliances and partnerships but in a careful manner. After all, skills are of no use if you are all alone.

The third quality was 'energy' or stamina, and this is where I was lacking. This was a long season with various types of competitions and the effects usually begin to show as the competition wears on. No matter how jovial you usually are, Total Drama gets to you. Those who can't take the stress and demanding elements of the tournament are quickly sent on their way.

The last bit is one that applies to almost every game, 'luck'. We need certain things to go our way even if we're the most skilled person in the show or the best tactician. A little bit of luck could get you a long way in this competition, and I hoped lady luck would smile upon me this season.

There was just one big Latin problem that stood in my way: Alejandro.

Apart from being well-toned, suave, and charming, the guy was so methodical in his ways. He always took a calculated approach, assessing the risks and rewards of his every single word and action. We were in episode eight and the man had not put a foot wrong up till this point. I almost wanted to see him in a pressure situation. He had yet to be tested thus far and I wanted to be the cause of his downfall.

A guy like that makes very few mistakes, so when it does happen, I have to be ready to capitalize on them. I want to expose him. I want to make him crumble in front of the others.

I'm not really sure that he's as good or talented as everyone thinks. This guy, if he gets on top, is a magnificent person. If he's down, that's when he gets into trouble. That would cause him to lose his cool and get frustrated. I intend, with the help of Owen, Cody, and a few others, to make him grovel.

That would have to wait, though. For now, I had to get my butt to Machu Picchu as soon as possible and find the others.

The closer I got to the water, the more predators there would be. Water is the lifeblood of this forest. Plus, none of the other animals could survive without it, so instead of chasing deer and boars, the prey would come to the carnivores.

I had stumbled up The Amazon River itself. The waters roared as it stretched on for nearly 4,350 miles or 7,000 kilometers. We had already traversed some of the longest rivers in the world. The Yukon was nearly in the top twenty, and the Nile was second. Still, nothing compared to this one, which is the longest river in the world.

I gazed at my reflection in the water. It stared back at me with an empty expression. Then, it morphed into something more horrifying, something that would probably haunt me for days to come. It was still my face, but it was the way I saw it in my nightmare last night. Those same white, pupil-less eyes, the same pearly razor-sharp teeth, the same menacing face.

I reached in and quickly splashed some water on my face. It felt cool and refreshing. I blinked a couple of times and the reflection was back to normal. That couldn't have been real, right? It was just my mind playing tricks on me.

I was pretty thirsty. Unfortunately, the water wasn't safe enough to drink. If I could just hold out for a bit longer, I would be home free.

The stars were coming out now. If people sat and looked at the stars each night, I bet they would live life a lot differently. When you look into infinity, you realize that there are more important things than what people do all day.

Odd. I remember reading that in a novel or a comic book somewhere. That's odd. I know I wouldn't read superhero comics, much less remember something from them. I just couldn't put my name on it…

While I was pondering, I thought I heard some familiar voices, though I couldn't be too sure. This jungle had gotten the best of me to the point where I couldn't even differentiate between what was real and what was fake.

"Scrawny kid! There you are!" I heard a voice call out from behind me.

I turned around to see that it was none other than our resident pilot, Jon Hatchet. He may be a bad pilot and an even worse cook, but the man was a damn good tracker. You had to give him that.

Holy friggin cripes.

"Chef!" I exclaimed. "Boy, am I glad to see you!"

I'll take 'Words I never thought I'd say in a million years' for $300, Alex.

It wasn't just Chef Hatchet that had arrived. Along with him was all the members of Team Amazon. Cody vigorously shook my hand, telling me how happy he was to see me.

Bridgette and Sierra seemed glad to see me. Courtney gave a curt nod. Heather seemed indifferent.

We followed Chef as I heard critters and creatures making noises in the backdrop.

"Didn't expect Chef to find you, did you?" Cody asked.

"A surprise, to be sure, but a welcome one." I said.

"Still getting lost as always, huh?" Bridgette joked.

"Yeah, and unfortunately I was all alone this time."

Boy, was I glad they found me.

Someone tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around. It was Gwen.

"I didn't expect to see you in one piece." The Goth said.

Did she not get stabbed by Cody's EpiPen this time?

"I could say the same about you." I replied.

I guess she didn't. Thank goodness for that.

"You look different." Gwen said.

"Do I?"

"Are you alright?"

"Hm? I just… I had an uh, a rough night, that's all." I said, stuttering. "I couldn't sleep that well. Getting chased by Zing-Zings will do that to you."

"Me neither, especially after we got abducted by Zing-Zings." Gwen said. "Good thing they turned out to be fake."

"Yeah? Well, I'm pretty sure the ones that chased me were the real deal." I said.

I was trying to forget the incidents of last night but they remained in my head, fresh as ever.

"Chef is the one that came and rescued us." Bridgette told me. "Thanks, Chef!"

The big man just grumbled in reply.

"Oh, is that so?" I asked.

"Yeah. We were so close to being screwed." Gwen said. "No thanks to you, Heather."

"Um.. hello! I'm not the one who told us to go down the wrong path!" The raven-haired girl shot back.

"Yeah, because I can totally determine which path is wrong beforehand and purposely make us go down that one." Gwen retorted.

"You guys should have just listened to me." Courtney said. "I'm sure we wouldn't have ended up in that mess."

"Cody's smarts could have saved us if you guys weren't bickering all the time." Sierra said.

"He's a dork. What would he know?" Heather asked.

"Hey! No one talks that way about my Codykins!" Sierra yelled.

That's how another argument broke out, though Cody, Bridgette, and Gwen were wise to stay out of this one.

"Anyway, you're fine now, right?" Gwen asked me.

"What? Yeah, sure. Fine and dandy as can be." I said, feigning a smile.

She shot me an uncertain look. It was like she knew there was more to the story, but she questioned me no further.

"Gwen?" I said.

"Yeah?"

"Have you... ever had a dream where um, you had, your, you-." I huffed. "Did you ever wish that you could- um, you know- Ugh. I keep getting tongue-tied. Sorry."

"That's okay." She said patting my back. "Just take your time."

"It's just that… nothing makes sense anymore." I said, frustrated.

"Did it ever?" Gwen asked.

"... No. I suppose not."

"Hey, I can give you something that would cheer you up."

"What would that be?"

"You're about to get tongue-tied again."

Before I could talk, she pressed her lips against mine and kissed me. I thought I saw Cody observing us. An image of shock appeared to be etched across his face, and that was replaced by one of derision. Whatever it was, it was gone by the time the kiss had ended.

We kept walking in silence for a bit before I approached Cody again.

"Hey, bud, what's up?" I asked him, unsure of how to proceed.

"Huh? No. I'm fine." He replied. "Funny, I should be asking you that question. You're the one that was stuck in the jungle for nearly a whole day, after all."

"Yep. It was a horrible experience." I said. "I was bitten by ants, barely avoided becoming a jaguar's dessert, and got chased by Zing-Zings."

"Well, at least you'll live to tell the tale." Cody said.

"Agreed." I said. "The attempt on my life has left me scarred and deformed, but I assure you my resolve has never been stronger."

"... Good to know." Gwen said.

"Have I ever told you guys how much I hate the outdoors?" I asked them. "Because I really hate the outdoors."

"You know, Noah, I've been thinking." Cody said.

"Thinking? I thought you needed a brain for that." I joked, causing Cody to punch me in the shoulder.

It hurt more than expected but I tried not to show it.

"Anyway, I've been thinking about stuff, like chess."

"What about chess?"

"Remember those chess games we used to play every night on The Island?"

"How could I ever forget?" I asked.

"Well, I was thinking that it must suck to be a Pawn." The brunette said. "You make the first move and have to fight and win battles yourself. You have shown the courage to start on your own. However, there are eight others just like you and you're considered disposable. At the end of the day, you are still a lame Pawn."

"True indeed." I said.

"Yeah, and I don't want to be anyone else's pawn either, especially you-know-who."

"Neither do I, my friend." I said.

"So, I'm glad you survived the Amazon." I added.

"Me too. I got bit by some bugs, actually, but luckily Bridgette was there to use the Epi on me." Said the geek.

"Oh."

"That was the least of my problems, as you already know."

"Hm. Try waking up and realizing you're abandoned in the jungle. There's just something about me and the outdoors..."

"Gosh. I hope Owen and Izzy weren't dragged off by caterpillars or anything."

"Me too. I doubt it, though. Izzy and Owen could probably take em."

Some more walking.

"So, uh, Chef told our team that we lost the challenge after he freed us." Cody said.

"Oh. Does that mean you'll send Heather packing?" I asked, not hiding my emotions.

"I'm right here! Ugh!" The Asian-Canadian fumed.

"How much longer is this gonna take, Chef?" Heather asked.

"We're almost there. Quit your whining." Came the reply from up ahead.

"What do you think Chris will do once we arrive?" Bridgette asked.

"All I know is that when it comes to Chris, the only thing you can predict is that something unpredictable with happen." Sierra said.

"That's… true." Courtney said.

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see." I said.

We only had to wait for about two minutes after that sentence, because we had arrived.

"Finally!" Chris exclaimed after he saw Chef, me, and the Amazons.

"As you can see, the rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated." I said.

This drew blank stares all around.

"... I'm not gone."

"You're alive!" Izzy hollered.

The redhead charged at me and tackled me to the ground. Then Owen picked me up and squeezed the life out of me.

"Oh, Noah. We're so, so, so, so, sorry!" The big oaf said. "There was a huge bat colony and it flew towards us and we both panicked and ran as fast as we could."

"Actually, I tried to stay behind and fight them, but Owen dragged me along with him." Izzy said.

"Before we knew it, you were gone." Owen said. "I really should have woken you up, but it all just happened so fast."

"Will you ever forgive us?" They both asked.

"Stuff happens." I said. "I'm just glad that I'm still here in one piece."

"You could have easily ended up like Trent over there." Courtney said.

"Hey! We won the challenge, so you shut your loser mouth!" Trent said.

Team Epic won the challenge? Great.

"I still harmed those poor monkeys in the process, though." DJ said sadly.

"Yes, yes. This is all very touching." Said Chris, breaking up the reunion. "Now, we must come to the important matter at hand, which is tonight's elimination."

"Bye bye Heather." Cody whispered.

"The biggest loser for this challenge was Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot!"

"What!?" I asked.

"Huh?" Asked Cody.

"Yes!" Heather said in joy.

"You heard me." Chris said. "Team Me, you have lost."

"What? But we got here before they did!" Owen said, protesting.

"True. Team Amazon messed up big time as well, but at least they all messed up together. You, on the other hand, got separated from your team. Now you tell me which is worse."

"That could go both ways…" I said.

"Sorry, but this is my show and my call. I didn't let them search for the treasure anyway since they were lacking all of their members."

"Oh, come on! If Izzy and Owen had woken me up, we would have won the challenge!" I said, frustrated.

"No, you wouldn't. We would have won anyway." Trent said.

"At the very least, we would have come in second!" I said.

"True." Chris started. "... but you didn't. They didn't wake you up, you came in last on your team, and you lost the challenge."

"Yeah." Said Heather. "Hypothetically, if we took the other path, we could've finished the challenge too."

"Don't worry, buddy. I'll win for you!" Owen said.

The realization dawned upon me. This was it. I was out. For good.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who said anything about elimination?" Chris said.

"So, we did all this just for a reward challenge?" Trent asked.

"No. Team Me will still have to suffer the consequences of defeat." Chris said.

Oh, no. That's not good.

"Isn't traveling in Economy Class bad enough?" Owen asked.

"Nope." Chris said. "The person that caused your team to lose will now be moved to the team that won. Noah, you're on Team Epic now. Have fun!"

What?

"Yay! We get Norm!" Lindsay cheered.

"So, you're punishing me by putting me on the team that finished first?" I asked quizzically.

"Yup. Just like I did with Bridgette a couple of challenges ago." Chris answered.

"That is complete bovine excrement!" I said.

Owen seemed sad while Izzy just shrugged. Cody had a look of shock and Gwen seemed happy. Heather smiled at me and appeared to be thinking about something.

Trent and Alejandro looked at each other with a knowing smile, and I knew that doom awaited me on Team Epic.

No, please, no. This was one of the worst things that could have possibly happened to me!

What pissed me off the most was that I had zero say in this matter.

"Why, Chris, why?" I asked.

"Because I said so." Chris replied. "I'm in charge, see. I don't need to explain — I do not need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being the host. Maybe somebody needs to explain to me why they say something, but I don't feel like I owe anybody an explanation."

"So, Team Epic, I hope you now accept Noah as one of your own. Haha!" Chris said.

"We welcome Noah as an honorary member of Team Epic." DJ said, smiling.

"We accept him, we accept him." Trent said, a bit more maliciously.

"You're one of us now, Noah. Resistance is futile." Alejandro said. "One of us."

He was smiling a crooked grin and with an evil glint in his eye. Trent joined in. They moved towards me, chanting the same stupid thing.

"One of us. One of us. We accept you. One of us."

Gooble Gobble.

Well, if that isn't the biggest twist in the hist' of the exhibition, Total Drama, I don't know what is.

Next chapter should be a fun read. I'm still trying to get over my shock at what xxxxx,yyyyyyy, and zzzzzzzzz have asked Noah to do.

Vote List

Not applicable.

SEAT SHEET

Epic – Lindsay, Alejandro, Trent, DJ, Tyler, Noah (Transferred) [First Place, First Class]

Amazons – Bridgette, Gwen, Cody, Courtney, Heather, Sierra [Second Place, Economy Class]

C-Men - Izzy, Owen [Third Place, Economy Class]

Drop of Shame – Duncan, Ezekiel, Harold, Leshawna