AN: Ariiiight, I'm back! Before I start I want to thank the people who gave me good ideas for this chapter! I've been in 'writers block' for like two weeks not knowing what to do. LordXwee you've given me a very good idea! I never thought of adding Mikhail, he will be appearing very soon! Den Lee you gave me a good idea aswell, and lostrocks I will definitely add in a VERY disturbing Jack/Peewee flashback haha! Thanks guys!
BTW, SPOILERS FOR THE TV SHOW HEROES AHEAD!!!
Anne: We're back! It's ROUND FOURTEEN now! Woop woop woop!
Jack: Anne, you're so out of character now.
Anne: I KNOW! IT'S GREAT ISN'T IT????
Charlie: Kate is the worst character on Lost.
Jack: Agreed.
-Sorry! I hate her!-
Kate: Well, I'm not exactly smitten with you either!
Libby: Yeah!
Kate: You're whiney.
Libby: YEAH!
Kate: You're annoying!
Libby: YEAAHHH!!
Kate: And you have.. big.. feet.
Libby: YYYEEEAHHHHH!!!!
Jack: Libby, wtf are you doing?
Kate: Libby, I was having my moment there, you ruined everything.
Libby: Is it my fault I'm stoned??
All: YES!!!
Libby: Oh.
Anne: Moving steadily along, we are back! There are many INSUFFERABLE, ANNOYING.. ahem, I mean, absolutely fantastic Losties left to vote off. But who will be voted off next? It's time to vote off the Weakest Link!
DDDDUUUUUUUNNNNNN!
Kate: Uh, Anne? We haven't even started yet.
Anne: Oh!.. Erm. I'm sorry. I think Al Pacino slipped something into my drink. Anyway! As I was saying.. it's time for ROUND FOURTEEN of the WEAKEST LINK!
DDDDUUUUNN----
RING, RING !!!!
Jack: Sorry, just let me get this..
-Picks up his cell phone-
Jack: Hello? Oh, Sarah.. listen honey, I'm sort of in the middle of something right now, could you..? He did? Oh, for crying out loud! I told him not to do that! Would you..? Thanks, Sarah! I'll see you tonight.
BEEP !
Jack: -Looks at them all- What??
Anne: Finished??
Jack: Yeah..
Charlie: What was all that about, Jack?
Jack: Oh nothing, just PeeWee got into the cookie jar again. Sarah's on it though.
Kate: Isn't PeeWee dead??
Jack: Yeah but.. Sarah got me a new one.. at.. the store..
Nikki: Curses Jack!! Will you ever learn??
Anne: SHUT UP!
Kate: Sorry Anne.
Nikki: Yes, very sorry.
-Suddenly, the double doors I just made up FLY OPEN, and in walks.. O-M-G!! IT'S PETER PETERLLI!!-
-Note, if you have not seen Heroes.. you've been living under a rock-
Anne: Oh, what now..?
Peter: Jack Shephard?
Jack: Yes, that's me.
Peter: My name is Peter Pertrelli, and I have a message for you.
-Silence-
Peter: Sarah needs you to go to the dry cleaners after the show.
Jack: Oh, crap.. I hoped she'd forget..
-Suddenly a blonde girl wearing a cheerleader outfit runs in-
Girl: Peter! We need to get going!
Peter: In a minute, Claire. I'm just delivering a message.
Claire: Can't it wait??
Peter: No, it can't! -Looks at Jack- Nieces, huh?
Jack: I've got a nephew, I know exactly how you feel.
Kate: -Points to Claire- Didn't she threaten to kill a journalist at the Emmy's this year???
Jack: I don't watch the Emmy's.
Libby: I do! She did! It was very amusing.
Claire: But--but-- I DIDN'T!
Nikki: Yes, you did! I was there, I was invited!
Charlie: You weren't invited, liar!
Nikki: No, but Ben and Locke helped me sneak in.
Ben: You know it, dawg.
Locke: And I won the Emmy.
Anne: YOU WERE VOTED OFF! GET OUT! GO ON, GET!!!
Peter: Anyway, I guess..
Hiro: YEESSSSSAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Everyone: WTF?
Peter: Oh, ignore him. He does that, A LOT.
Hiro: Oops, wrong set.
-And the cast of Heroes dash off to save the world-
Ben: Dayuuuum that was rough!
Anne: Can we PLEASE get on with this now?
Jack: Did anyone notice, that the Japanese guy was holding an icecream?
Kate: ...
Libby: ...
Jack: I'm having.. a flashback..
WWWHHHHIIRRRRRRRRRRR!
Jack: Come on, Kate.
Kate: What??
Jack: We have to go back.
Kate: Jack, for the last time, I am NOT buying you ANOTHER icecream!
Jack: PEEWEE WOULD HAVE!!
Kate: ...don't you DARE mention that SONOFABITCH to me!
Jack: WE HAVE TO GO BACK, KATE!!!
WWWHHHHIIRRRRRRRRRRR!
Anne: Wow, interesting flashback, Jack. I had no idea that you were clearly INSANE.
Jack: It comes and goes.
Anne: Now for the last FREAKING time, let's get on with this.
DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!
Anne: Jin, what is two plus two?
Jin: Um, those pants.. don't.. make you look.. fat?
Anne: Well, aren't you sweet? That's correct.
Sawyer: Hey, wait a minute! That wasn't the answer!
Kate: Yeah!
Libby: Yeahhhhh!
Kate: Libby, we talked about this.
Libby: Sorry, I'll just sit here with my bong and not talk anymore.
Anne: Charlie, Danny Pickett, god rest his soul, had a wife, also god rest her soul. What was her name?
Charlie: Colleen?
Anne: Correct. Nikki..
Nikki: BAAAAAANNNKKKK!
Anne: Nikki, who grabbed Sun in the jungle?
Nikki: ME! It was ME! You never saw it coming, you BITCH! Mwahahahaha!
Anne: She isn't here, Nikki. And you didn't grab Sun. Hell, you didn't even EXIST back then!
Nikki: I didn't? That blows. I should have been the one to grab her. I was the most cunning LOST character of them all! HAHAHAHA!
Anne: Kate, who claimed they were a member of the Dharma Initiative?
Kate: Mikhail!
Anne: Correct. Libby...
Libby: BANK!
Anne: Who said this: "They'll never give you Walt"
Libby: Oh, oh! That was.. umm.. Ben!
Ben: Chyeah, I rocked that one.
Anne: That's correct. Jack, what was Libby's last word?
Jack: Michael, of course!
Libby: That sonofabitch..
Sawyer: Hey, that's my line!
Anne: Correct. Sawyer..
Sawyer: -Sigh- Bank.
Anne: What movie does this quote come from? -Ahem- I AM MCLOVIN!!!
Sawyer: Uhhh.. Star Trek?!
Charlie: Superbad, it's SUPERBAD you brainless--
Anne: Charlie is right, the answer was Superbad. And I really thought you knew your stuff, Sawyer..
Sawyer: Is it my fault that I've been stuck on a damn island for months??
Kate: Please, we all know YOU plashed the crane!
Sawyer: Plashed the what now?
Kate: Huh? Oh, god. Libby.. did you give me sleeping pills?
Libby: Me? No! I wouldn't! It wasn't me!!
Anne: Ben--
DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!
Anne: Times up and you banked £500. Who's game is up? It's time to vote off, THE WEAKEST LINK!!
Previously On Lost Guy: Jack is the strongest link, having answered the most questions correctly. Nikki is the weakest link. But how will the voting go?
DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN!!!!!
Kate: Nikki
Jack: Nikki.
Libby: NOT NIKKI! JACK!
Nikki: Waaaaa! Kate!
Sawyer: Kate!
Desmond: Nikki, brutha'.
Charlie: Nikki.. sorry.. you said I had greasy hair..
Jin: Those pants.. don't.. make.. you look fat?
Locke: Jin means Nikki, too. Nikki for me aswell!
Ben: NIKKI!
DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN!!!!!
Anne: So Kate, why Nikki?
Kate: She's annoying.
Anne: And you don't think you're annoying?
Kate: Me? Annoying? Pleh, you're out of your mind.
Charlie: She's right, Kate.
Libby: Yeah, live with it.
Kate: -whimper-
Anne: Anywayy, moving quickly along before Kate pulls a JACK on us..
Jack: Hey! I don't cry ALL the time!
Anne: Sawyer? Why Kate? I thought you loved her?
Sawyer: Please Anne that was like fifteen rounds ago.
Anne: If you say so.. Nikki, light of my life, I'm afraid it's time for you to go.
Nikki: Aww crap.
Libby: -Ahem- OH NIKKI YOU'RE SO FINE
Charlie: YOU'RE SO FINE YOU BLOW MY MIND
Jack: HEY NIKKI!
Sawyer: HEY, HEY HEY NINA!
Kate: Bollocks.
Libby: OH NIKKI WHAT A PITY YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!
Boone (who just walked in): YOU TAKE ME BY THE HEART AND YOU TAKE ME BY THE HAND!
Ben: OH NIKKI YOU'RE SO PRETTY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND,
Jack: IT'S GIRLS LIKE YOU NIKKI!!!
Paulo (who also just walked in): OH WHAT YOU DO NIKKI DO NIKKI, DON'T BREAK MY HEART NIKKI!!
All: HEY NIKKI!
Nikki: Awww, thanks guys! That was strange but wonderful! I love you all!
Jack: And we love you too, Nikki.
Kate: Uh, HELLO?? I'M THE ONLY FEMALE CHARACTER LEFT IN THIS GAME THAT IS ACTUALLY ALIVE!!!!! GIVE ME SOME ATTENTION!!!!
Charlie: Oh, bollocks to you, Kate!
Kate: -whimpers and runs off-
Anne: You are the Weakest Link, Nikki, goodbye! We love you!
-Everyone blows Nikki kisses as she passes-
Nikki: GOODBYE EVERYONE! I LOVE YOU TOO!
-Backstage-
Nikki: I am sooooo loved right now!
END OF ROUND FOURTEEN
AN: Awww, I was sad to get rid of Nikki, I actually love her now cuz I think I wrote her so well in this story. I still hate her on the show, but whatever! Anyway, I hope this was enough, I decided to make it an extra long chapter cuz you guys have been waiting so long! Hope it was enough! Sorry to anyone who liked Nikki, I just felt she needed to go. Anyway, may be another long wait, hopefully not!
Also, thanks to those who gave me some ideas! I can't be assed listing you, but everyone who gave me an idea I'm thankful to you! Bye bye!