I refused to leave with Jean Luc despite his anger and complaints. It has been nearly a week since he arrived at Ryozanpaku. He leaves each night for his hotel, but he comes back each morning to spend the day with me and try to help me remember him. He touches me a lot, the way that Akisame used to. He seems to do much of it almost absently – a kiss on the head, an arm around my waist as we walk, running his fingers through my hair – but sometimes his efforts are more targeted. He has outright used his body to try and seduce me more than once, arguing that maybe I would remember him then.

I feel terrible nearly all the time now. I feel terrible for pushing him away, when he so obviously wants to be with me. I feel like some kind of failure for getting myself in this situation in the first place. When Jean Luc touches me… I feel the physical pleasure of it, but it makes my chest ache. All I can think when he kisses me… is that he's not Akisame.

Akisame has left me completely and did so immediately. The very first moment I got a chance to speak with him alone the morning Jean Luc arrived, he held me at an arm's length. He said he was sorry for all the confusion he had caused, and that he would not perpetuate it any further. He said that the only way he could behave appropriately was to completely walk away. He was as good as his word. He hasn't come to my bed again, and he does little more than nod when we have the chance to walk by one another in the hallway. He has almost completely locked himself away in his work room day-in and day-out. Miu even brings his dinner in there for him to take alone. I have not pressed him on the issue – not once – because I'm terribly afraid of making it worse.

Another bad side effect of everything is showing up in my dreams. I didn't realize that I've ever had trouble sleeping, but with Akisame now gone from my bed and this new pressure on me from Jean Luc, I have been waking all of Ryozanpaku up most nights. Apachai confessed to me that I used to cry and talk in my sleep before Akisame started spending the night with me – which explains why Apachai was so happy about it in the first place.

Originally, it was only Apachai who could hear me. Now… I get woken up night after night by one or the other of them – never Akisame – trying to pull me from nightmares that never touch my waking mind. Jean Luc blames them on my ex-boyfriend; someone apparently named Christoff. He has offered to sleep at Ryozanpaku with me, or bring me back to his hotel for the nights, but I have always declined. It seems like it would be difficult for him to exercise the same restraint as Akisame. After all, he has actually had sex with me many times before. I imagine that would be a hard habit to break.

"Good morning, young friend," the Elder's voice reaches me as I stare blankly into a bowl of cereal. I look up at him and he takes my hand gently into his giant one. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm beginning to believe the universe has made a terrible mistake," I admit.

"What do you mean?" he asks, sitting down beside me and pulling me up onto his knee like a little girl.

"I should never have lived," I try to explain, looking down at my shaking hands. "That would have solved everything. Jean Luc would not be pining for a woman who doesn't even know him, and Akisame would not be in pain. They would have both gone on with their lives."

"Nonsense!" he says with a startled expression. "Young lady, that kind of thinking is not going to get you anywhere helpful." He puts a finger under my chin and lifts my eyes to meet his own. "Now… I have lived a long time, and I have learned a lot along the way. You hear what I have to say now, and you hear it well. Love always enhances life – it does not take away from it. It may be a painful thing to lose, but I don't think for a moment that Akisame would have traded his time with you for the pain it would spare him now. Even if you are gone from his sight, he will be able to look back and remember you – remember the way that you brightened his soul. Jean Luc, I imagine, is the same. It may be difficult for him now, but how much more difficult would it have been if he had found you – broken as you were and cast aside by some monster. He would not fight so hard now to get you back if he did not value that love."

"I don't know what to do…" I whisper.

The Elder lets out a heavy sigh and lets me lean my head against his shoulder. "Neither do I, dear one. It's quite the puzzle. But if there's one thing I know for sure, it is that I am glad Akisame and Kensei were able to save you that day. I'm glad you came to our home and shared your warmth and your life with my family. Do not fear leaving here, if that is what holds you back. Our door will always be open to you, and you could even come to visit if you would like to now and then. France is a long way from here, but not unreachable."

"Thank you," I whisper.

I look up to see Jean Luc walking in through the Ryozanpaku main gate. I stand up and walk out to meet him. He greets me with his typical morning peck on the lips. It still makes me uncomfortable, but I try to be gracious about it.

"Did you sleep any better?" he asks. He looks ragged himself.

"It was alright," I hedge. "Sakaki woke me up from it pretty early. He held me for a little while until I calmed down. I slept through the night after that."

I decide to leave out the small detail that I slept curled up like a kitten on Sakaki's chest because he said he would kill something if he heard me scream one more time. He said his nerves couldn't take it, and it would just be another one of our little secrets.

"I still don't like the idea of you being here will all these big guys," Jean Luc complains. "If they ever…"

"Oh stop it!" I shout, then regret it at the look of hurt in his eyes. "They would never hurt me. I told you that."

"Hey," he says, swiping a weary hand over his face and glancing back towards the house. "Is there a place we could talk alone?"

"Sure," I agree, and wander with him back towards the hot springs.

"Look," he says after we are out of ear shot. "I've been trying not to pressure you. I know this is really hard, baby, and I'm sorry – but you have to come home with me now. I'm out of time, and I'm sure as hell not leaving you here."

"I'm sorry, Jean Luc," I hedge, "but I'm not ready to leave yet. I…"

"God damnit!" he suddenly shouts, grabbing my upper arms in a painful grasp. "I want you home! Now I have to leave this country, and it has to be tonight. You can come with me, or you can stay – but there will be hell to pay if you stay."

He is beginning to frighten me. I throw my forearms out and down hard, breaking his hold on my arms. I bring my fists up, ready to strike him if he reaches for me again. He backs off instantly.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I spit, "And don't you ever touch me like that again!"

"I mean, baby," he says with anger in his eyes, "that I will bring the law down on these people so hard that their heads will spin. I'll have that Akisame guy thrown in prison for kidnapping, and sue him for malpractice while I'm at it. I will get you back – one way or the other."

"You can't do that!" I cry in sudden panic.

"Yes, I can," he argues. "I already got everything ready last night. You can either accept it now and come home with me, or we can do things the hard way. But I'll be damned if I'm leaving here without you."

"And what if I come home with you and I still can't remember anything?!" I say, near tears at the thought. "What if I can't love you?!"

He stares at the ground and clenches his jaw tightly. "Then I'll let you go. But you've got to give me time! Time to see some of my doctors. Time to help you remember ME. You've got to give me at least as long as you've given these people. I can make you love me again!"

My heart is racing. Tonight?! Can I really leave so quickly? I sit down at the water's edge and try to rub my arms against a sudden chill. I realize the longer I stay… the longer I may be delaying the inevitable. The longer I will perpetuate their sleepless nights, and Akisame's pain. I glance back at the house, and my chest aches to see him again. But he hides himself away from the world to lick his wounds. The faster I am gone from this place… the faster he can heal. And if I don't go with Jean Luc tonight… he'll try to make them hurt Akisame. He'll attack his reputation and his business. I realize that I would do anything to help him – even if it means facing a past that frightens me. I will go – I will leave my home behind – for Akisame.

"Grandfather!" I hear Miu's voice slice through the dojo in distress. I look up from the statue I have been carving for the last two days, straining my ear to hear the reason for her distress before refocusing on my task. "Grandfather!"

"What's wrong Miu?!" Kenichi shouts back, running to her aid as I would expect.

I am about to tune them out again when her next words steal the breath from my chest.

"Sachi is gone!" she screams. "I mean… Melissa! She's gone!"

I sprint to the door of my workroom, and pause to try and collect myself before exiting onto the training floor. I need to appear calm.

"Calm down," Miu, I try to say entering the room with a gentle voice. "What do you mean? Why do you think she is gone?"

Shigure comes running across the rafters and leaps lithely down to the floor. Kensei materializes at my side, and Hayato walks calmly in from outside to hear her report as well. Sakaki is notably absent… perhaps he has gone somewhere with Sachi.

"I don't think she is!" Miu squeaks with tears in her eyes. "I know she is! Look! She left these!"

Miu thrusts out the green dress I bought for Sachi, and a handful of small letters. She wipes some of the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand as she begins passing them out.

"Kensei…" Kensei begins to read his aloud. "Thank you for helping me heal with so many needle treatments. Also, thank you for helping with dinner. I had a really great time. I'm sorry I didn't finish your office, but at least you should be able to find all your magazines… I'll remember you. Sachi." He looks up from it with confusion and anger plainly written on his face. "What the devil is this?!"

"Dear Kenichi," Kenichi begins to mumble. "I was really glad to get to know you and all of your funny friends. Keep working hard. Keep getting stronger. Don't let Akisame work you too hard. Take care of Miu and wish me luck. Sachi."

"Dear Elder," Hayato begins his own as Miu is just placing mine into my hands. I can't open it. My hands are shaking. "I'm sorry I had to leave so suddenly. Thank you for talking with me this morning and helping me face my fears. You welcomed me into your home and into your heart, and it is a debt I will never be able to repay you. Please take care of everyone for me. I will remember your promise."

"Shigure…" Shigure begins to read hers in monotone. "Thank you… for taking such good… care of me… and helping… me with my casts… so many times. Thanks also… for all the clothes. I hope you… find what… you're looking for soon. Please… Take care of…" she looks up into my eyes, and simply stops reading.

I open my letter with a trembling hand. I choose not to read mine aloud.

My Dearest Akisame,

I could never put into words what your friendship has meant to me. I'm so sorry that I am leaving without saying goodbye. It was just too painful to have to leave you all. I hope that somewhere in your heart, I have brought you something other than pain. I also hope that you can find someone who loves you as strongly as the love you've shown me. You are too precious to be alone. Thank you for your smiles and your laugh. Thank you for all of the nights. The most precious memory I have is waking up for the first time to see your moonlight eyes welcoming me into the world. I will cherish it forever.

Forever Yours, Sachi

I sink down onto my knees in an effort to keep from falling on my face. My chest is caving in against the pain and I can barely breathe.

"How could she just leave without saying goodbye?!" Miu cries, kneeling down in front of her grandfather.

"She must have felt it necessary," he replies to her. "I am sorry my child. I didn't realize when I spoke with her this morning that she was so close to a decision. But rest assured. She knows she is always welcome to come visit with us, or return here if she needs to."

"Let's go… find her!" Shigure says, headed for the door.

"No, Shigure," I say, causing her to pause. I take a deep breath, attempting to keep my voice even. "It had to be very difficult for Sachi to leave. We are the only…" I choke back on my words, "family she has ever known. We have to set her free, to find herself again."

"But… Akisame…" Kensei says, beginning to reach for me.

"I will be fine, Kensei," I brush him off. "I need to return to my work now."

I stand up swiftly and walk back into my workroom, shutting the door behind me. Out of sight, I claw at the pain in my chest. I tumble forward into a heap on the floor and simply let my misery have me. Sachi is gone. Her bright eyes, warm smile and soft skin will never grace my eyes again. I glance around my workroom and she is everywhere. I have tried to exhaust myself with the images of her. I have painted her, sculpted her, and written poetry. In the end, this will be all I have left of her – the images in my memory. I snatch the sculpture up off the floor, setting to work again – determined to get it as close to perfection as possible.