Anastasia didn't like secrets.

There was no dramatic, sob-story reason for it, either. Sure, her parents hadn't given her the time of day and her relationship with her only sister was mildly hostile, but that had nothing to do with her dislikeof secrets. Her parents had cut off from her when she'd left home, and they hadn't sugar-coated it. Her sister called her out on her behaviour uninvited, and as much as Anastasia hated it, she also appreciated it. Maybe that was why, as she had grown older, she chose her friends specifically based on their inability to lie: Emily was too matter-of-fact and practical to waste her time on secrets, Alice didn't see the point in lying when it would come back to bite you in the ass later, and even Tala, for all his failings, hadn't lied to her yet. That was probably why they got along so well. He didn't play games, and he didn't pretend he was tougher than he was.

The same, however, could not be said about Kai.

It wasn't exactly a lie, of course. Anastasia still considered a lie of omission to be a lie, but it wasn't necessary that Kai did as well. Honestly, it was probably her fault too. For all her skills as a hacker, and her countless jabs that she had stalked his Wikipedia page, she was more than a little mad at herself that she hadn't seen this sooner. It wasn't a secret, but he hadn't told her yet, which meant that it was something he wanted to hide.

Naturally, she had decided to give him a hard time over it.

"It's really not a big deal," said Alice tiredly. She watched Anastasia seethe and nurse a cup of steaming coffee early in the morning, wincing at her determined look. "He's not that kind of guy, Anna, even I know that."

"Irrelevant," said Anastasia. "He should've told me. Tala should've told me."

"Maybe Kai asked him not to."

Anastasia gave her a withering look. "You're not helping his case."

"I'm saying people sometimes have reasons for not sharing this kind of stuff, and honestly, this isn't even a secret," Alice rolled her eyes. "If you hadn't tried to get into his good graces by refusing to hack him earlier on, you'd know this by now."

Anastasia huffed. "I was trying to be nice!"

"You've liked him since we saw him battle three years ago, don't give me that shit."

"I just thought he was cute!" protested Anastasia. "Why are you taking his side?"

"I'm not," Alice got up and calmly began to clean up, piling dishes into the sink and taking Anastasia's half-finished cup of coffee from her hands without invitation. "I'm trying to discourage you from breaking your promise and hacking every single aspect of his life just because he didn't tell you one thing. He wouldn't appreciate it, and you know this time if he got mad you'd be the one who was in the wrong. Relationships don't work like that, Anna. You have to give it time."

"You sound as though you finally approve."

Alice shrugged. "It shouldn't matter if I do or don't. But he makes you happy, doesn't he?" Anastasia nodded. "That's enough for now. You should go," she held up her cell-phone pointedly. "He's going to show up any –" the buzzing of Anastasia's phone interrupted her, and Alice rolled her eyes. "On time, as always."

"If this were a different century, you'd think that was charming."

"Well, it's 2018 and I think it's weird. Bye, and don't forget what I said!" warned Alice.

"Yes, mom," Anastasia rolled her eyes and grabbed her bags, stalking out the door and opting to take the stairs instead of the elevator. Her phone buzzed one more time, indicating Kai was getting impatient, and she rolled her eyes. The car was still running when she exited the building, and she tossed her bag into the backseat before climbing into the front and raising an eyebrow at him. "If you can't wait, you should let me come on my own."

"We'd never get anywhere on time then," said Kai, screeching out of the parking lot and smirking at Anastasia's grunt of annoyance. "Rough night?"

Anastasia frowned. "No, why?"

"You look like you're in a bad mood," he shrugged. Eyes still on the road, his free hand wound around hers, pulling it away from the seatbelt she had been fiddling with and kissing the tips of her fingers softly. Anastasia had taken the bandages off her burnt fingers that morning, but it didn't surprise her that Kai still looked guilty, as if he were responsible for it.

Anastasia sighed, her anger melting into mild irritation. "Stop the car," she said flatly. Kai gave her a confused look, but she merely pointed to a small side-road that was always deserted. "I mean it."

Silently, he pulled over and shut off the engine, turning to face her questioningly. He was still holding her hand. Gently, Anastasia extracted it from his grip and took out her phone, flipping through her text messages until she found the one she was looking for. Sighing, she offered it to Kai. He took it, read the screen, and then looked at her in confusion.

"Should I know what this means?" he asked.

Anastasia gave him a withering look. "Seriously?"

Kai looked at the phone again. It was a text message from Tala.

TI: So there's no plan for tomorrow, just fyi. We're gonna do Hiwatari's birthday on the 28th at the mansion, except this time I promise McGregor won't come near you. You have any plans you need help with? I'm game (Especially if I get to blindfold him and throw him into the trunk of his own car)

Kai ran a hand through his hair. "I really don't get it. You want me to tell him not to invite McGregor?"

"What? No!" Anastasia groaned. "The twenty-eighth in is three days!"

Kai frowned. "So?"

Anastasia glared at him. "I didn't know your birthday was on the twenty-sixth, you moron!"

"Oh," Kai blinked. "You didn't?"

"Did you tell me?"

"You hacked me ten minutes after meeting me!" said Kai defensively. "I thought you knew!"

Anastasia huffed. "You told me not to hack you!"

"And you listened?" Kai looked at her in astonishment.

Anastasia scowled. "That is so not the point. You never mentioned your birthday was coming up."

"I don't like birthdays."

"Then why is Tala throwing you a party?"

"Because he's Tala. He even threw himself a party," Kai groaned. "I'll tell him to cancel whatever he's doing, okay? I don't care." He dug his phone out of his pocket.

"You can't do that!" Anastasia wrenched his phone out of his grip, her eyes wide with horror. "It's your birthday."

"I just told you –"

"It's not all about you," she snapped. "You're just not off the hook for keeping this from me."

"Anna, stop it," said Kai. "I don't do birthdays. This is why I didn't tell you."

"So you admit you didn't tell me!" Anastasia looked triumphant, and then frowned and shoved at his shoulder. "I'm your girlfriend, you should have told me!"

Kai muttered something under his breath and grabbed both her wrists in his hands, raising an eyebrow when she tried to break his hold. "I'm not holding you that hard, don't be dramatic," he said dryly. Anastasia continued to scowl. "It's not a big deal. If you had asked me, I would have told you the date."

"How was I supposed to know you'd keep it a secret until the day before?"

He sighed. "If I tell you why, will you stop being mad at me?"

"Maybe," Anastasia sniffed.

"My parents' funeral was on my birthday, okay?" he leaned back in his seat and folded his arms across his chest. Anastasia's eyes widened in horror, and he gave her a pointed look. "Stop that. It was a long time ago, I'm fine, but it doesn't exactly put me in a celebratory mood. That's why Tala's doing the party two days after."

Anastasia bit her lip. "You didn't tell me that."

"You already know what happened at my parents' funeral."

"Yeah, but I –"

"Can we just go now?" he interrupted.

"I – yeah, sure," giving up, Anastasia leaned back in her seat and let him continue to drive. She was torn between yelling at him for keeping another secret from her, or letting go of her anger and throwing her arms around him. Kai had only been a kid when his parents had died. Before he had stopped her from hacking him, she had seen the headlines that had been slapped on every newspaper within a two hundred mile radius of the small town they were in now. The Hiwataris had been rich, already standing out with their vast wealth, the Russian heritage and their aloofness from the community. Their sudden death had been talked about for months after. And then Kai had moved into the mansion with his grandfather, and then to Russia, to that damn Abbey that had probably ruined his life.

And then there were the bit her lip and continued to stare out the window quietly. Kai frustrated her to no end, with his silences and his reluctance to talk to her about anything important, but she didn't blame him for it, not really. There were few people their age that had the combined experiences of trauma, abuse and loss altogether, and Kai was one of those few. If he had been anyone else, she would have found out everything there was to know about him by now, but it was exactly as Alice had said. She had wanted Kai to trust her, to think of her as a friend, and so she had respected his wishes, which was why it was so hard for her to control herself now, because he did trust her, and they were friends. Sure, their feelings went beyond that now, but she knew that was where they had started out, and she cherished it. And it stung, more than a little, that he had kept something like this from her, because no matter how much he pretended otherwise, she knew the date of his parents funeral was important to him. But he hadn't thought to share that with her.

"You're thinking really loudly," Kai said, and Anastasia jumped at the sudden interruption to the silence of the car. One of his hands left the steering wheel, that he had been gripping much too tightly, and tugged her hand out of her folded arms, entwining their fingers together. His eyes didn't leave the road, but she noted that his shoulders weren't as tense and defensive as they had been before. "Say it, Anna. I know you're still mad."

"I'm not mad," said Anastasia. She didn't bother to elaborate.

Kai was silent for a while, and then suddenly he was jerking the steering wheel to the right, pulling the car off the road and nearly giving Anastasia a heart attack in the process. Her nails dug into his palm as he continued to hold her hand, and she shoved at his shoulder when the car finally slowed. He didn't seem fazed by her glare as he parked the car on another side-road – how many side-roads did this stupid town have anyway? – and turned in his seat to face her. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"I'm thinking I want to punch you!" Anastasia glared at him. "What, beyblading isn't enough? You want to be some kind of stunt race-car driver now?"

Kai rolled his eyes. "Calm down. Why are you really angry?"

"What else is there? You said you didn't want to talk about it. I said yes. Case closed."

"Anna, just because I didn't tell you about this, doesn't mean you're not important to me," said Kai quietly. "Please, tell me you know that."

Anastasia faltered, and looked back down at their linked hands. He always made being angry, or confused, so hard. Sometimes, she thought it had less to do with what he said, and everything to do with how he made her feel: safe.

"I know that," she said finally. "But…"

"But you're still mad?"

"That's not all it is," Anastasia groaned. "You tell me these weird half-stories, usually when I'm upset and almost always when they apply to my situation only. Jesus, Kai, your parents were buried on your birthday. How old were you, seven, eight?" he didn't reply, but she knew he hadn't been older than that when it had happened. "Of course you get to feel however you want because of that. I just wish you'd have told me so I didn't feel like an asshole right now."

"You're not an asshole," he sounded a little amused that she thought that, which only made her huff and turn away. "Hey, come on," his other hand touched her cheek, coaxing her face up so he could meet her eyes. "What's wrong now?"

"You think this is funny."

"Only because you're so wrong about everything," he was giving her that strange half-smile she never saw him give anyone else, and it was making being angry at him almost impossible. "You don't have to prove you care about me, Anna. I already know that."

"This isn't like that."

"Really?" Kai raised an eyebrow. His hand left her cheek and twirled a loose lock of her hair around his fingers, using it to gently tug her face closer to his. "I'm not an idiot," he continued, except now his lips were soclose that it was helplessly distracting. Anastasia was sure he was doing it on purpose. "I know you only want to help."

Anastasia's thoughts drifted off, because now Kai was stroking the juncture of her neck and shoulder with his thumb, and it felt really good. His lips were hovering by her jaw, and if she tilted her head just a little, she could kiss him and they could forget this conversation ever happened. In the back of her mind, she knew he was doing it deliberately. Rather than distracting her in more obvious ways, he was letting her move towards him, so technically he wasn't doing anything wrong.

It was annoying how good he was at it.

"And I know what you're doing," she muttered. Still, she wasn't mad anymore. Giving him a playful glare, she bumped their noses together. Kai didn't look embarrassed, and the twinkle in his eye as he pulled back slightly told her he wasn't done. "Will you just let me help?" she asked hopefully.

"Anna…" Kai sighed. "Can we just –"

"No," said Anastasia firmly. She used her own free hand to caress his cheek, pulling him back and forcing him to look at her. Her heart melted a little when he turned his face and kissed her palm. "Please don't say we'll talk about this later," she said, softer now. "Give me something, Kai. It doesn't have to be earth-shattering. Just something."

Kai let out a breath. "I have a system, okay? I don't like the date, I don't like the things it makes me remember. I just try to get through it and make it easier on myself. That's all. It's just one day. I'm back to normal as soon as it's over."

Anastasia frowned. "I don't like where this is going."

"I always spend the day alone. I'm going to do that tomorrow too. This isn't about you," he added quickly, seeing her open her mouth to object. "I've always done this. It works for me. Please, don't ask me to change that."

"I…" Anastasia trailed off, and then she bit her lip. "So how were you going to tell me about that part? Were you just going to pretend you couldn't see me tomorrow, if I hadn't brought it up?"

Kai met her gaze squarely. "I was going to make up an excuse that I couldn't see you, yeah," he told her honestly. "I would have told you eventually, though."

Anastasia replied without thinking. "Eventually implies we have all the time in the world."

Kai paused. Anastasia winced and looked away, inwardly cursing herself for bringing that up when they were barely navigating one issue. His response, however, took her by surprise. "Who says we don't?"

Anastasia gave him a wary look. "You know what I'm talking about, right?"

"I know," he still looked annoyingly calm. "When you leave, it'll just be four months until I see you again at the American Championships."

"You think that's all there is?"

"No," he shook his head and gave her a grim smile. "But that's all I can think about right now."

"What – okay, no, this isn't about that," Anastasia shook her head firmly. "We're not having that discussion right now. I – I need to think before we talk about that, okay?"

"Okay," Kai shrugged one shoulder. "But I won't be around tomorrow, Anna, so if you want to get some work done," he jerked his head towards the road they'd abandoned. "We should go."

Anastasia sighed. "Mr. Tate's store, please."

The rest of the drive was silent, again. When they reached the beyblade store, Kai didn't follow her around and criticise every purchase she made: instead, he stood by the till and played on his phone, even stepping outside to answer a call. Anastasia didn't even think twice about it until they reached the BBA headquarters and Kai got out of the car with her. She expected him to drop her to the elevators and leave, like he normally did, but instead he pressed the button and waited with her, watching the numbers tick by.

Frowning, she poked his arm. Kai looked down at her, eyebrow raised. "Practice is that way," she jerked her thumb back in the direction of his parked car. "Up there, there's only boring calculations and a whole lot of video footage to analyse."

"True," he drew an arm around her waist casually, and Anastasia's eyebrows shot up. "But I cancelled practice for today. So back there –" he mimicked her actions and indicated his car with his thumb "– is just a bunch of team-mates who drive me crazy. But here –" he flicked her nose with his thumb, and her lips twitched "– is someone who could use my company."

Anastasia blinked. "You cancelled your practice to spend the day watching me over-analyse all your practice tapes?"

"Pretty much."

The elevator arrived, and they entered it silently. It wasn't until Kai pressed the button for their usual floor that Anastasia spoke again. "I'm still mad at you for lying about your birthday."

"I see that."

"You're not off the hook for that. At all."

"Okay."

"I'm going to make Tala buy you a cake and balloons, and Tyson is going to lead your team in singing happy birthday to you at this party."

Kai groaned. "Will it help if I agree to that?"

"No, I'm going to make them do it whether you agree or not."

Kai rolled his eyes. "Anna, come on."

"You want to make it up to me, don't you?" she asked. Kai raised an eyebrow, as if to question exactly how much more she wanted him to do before he did make it up to her. "Since you still want to go on your weird solo adventure tomorrow, this is the next best thing. If you had told me it was your birthday and you didn't want to do anything, I could've convinced Tala to let me spend the day with you. Alone."

Kai's eyes glinted. "And why can't we do that now?"

Anastasia side-stepped his hands as he tried to grab her waist, shaking her head at his grouchy expression. "I don't like secrets. You kept one from me, so you're suffering through this party as punishment."

The elevator stopped and they rounded the corner of the small hallway to the office Anastasia always used. As she dug around in her bag for the key to the door, Kai leaned against the wall and watched her silently. "I don't lie to you, you know," he said quietly, as she was fitting the key into the door. "This is just… different."

Anastasia bit her lip and glanced up at him from the corner of her eye. "I know," she said softly. "I'm trying to understand that."

"I know," this time, when he reached for her, she didn't step away. Anastasia buried her face into his chest, inhaling the now-familiar scent of pine needles that seemed to cling to Kai all the time, no matter what time of day it was. She could tell he'd been wanting to do this for a while when his arms wound around her back, one hand cradling the back of her head gently. Kai wasn't vocal about his feelings for Anastasia, not unless he knew he needed to be. There were hardly any touches or looks in public: Kai was too reserved and Anastasia was too paranoid about people seeing them together. That was what confused everyone about their relationship: they talked, joked and teased each other like they were still just friends and nothing more, and neither of them felt the need to change their dynamic. It just worked.

And it was moments like these, when he opted to simply hold her, play with her hair or kiss her forehead, that Anastasia was oddly grateful that he wasn't wasting both of their time by issuing declarations of affection that neither of them were very interested in. Words weren't permanent and, though she wanted to believe otherwise, sometimes feelings weren't permanent either.

But this – the feeling of overwhelming safety and trust that Kai inspired, and the similar, if not quite as strong feeling that she was sure she inspired in him as well – for now, this was permanent.

And it was enough.

!

Anastasia looked up from her book as her phone vibrated on her bedside table. Rubbing her eyes tiredly, she glanced at the screen. Swiping at her alarm to it shut off, she sighed and opened a new window, typing out a text quickly before she could change her mind.

AN: Hey, you.

The reply came almost instantly.

KH: Still up?

AN: Yeah.

KH: Anna, it's midnight. Are you okay?

AN: No, I'm fine! I was just checking in. What are you doing?

KH: I went out.

AN: It's late.

KH: I'm a good driver.

AN: Ha ha. Point taken.

KH: And I'm not an idiot, I know why you texted.

AN: Do I have to have an ulterior motive to text my boyfriend at midnight?

KH: You can just say it, Anna.

AN: Happy birthday. I'll miss you tomorrow.

KH: I'll see you the day after.

AN: Do you want to tell me where you're going?

KH: I'll be fine, beautiful.

AN: Omg.

AN: Did you just say that?

AN: Did Kai Hiwatari just call me beautiful?

KH: How are you more annoying over text than in person?

AN: You totally did and I have written proof. Aww I'll miss you even more now :(

KH: A compliment is all it took? Wow.

AN: Look at you, pretending you have a sense of humour and everything!

AN: But seriously, what if my beauty diminishes by the time I see you again? Is that a deal breaker?

KH: I take it back. Please go away.

AN: Only because I need my *beauty* sleep. Get it? Ha ha ha

KH: Good night.

AN: Okay, I'll stop! Call me tomorrow?

KH: I'll see you when the day is over, I promise. Don't worry.

AN: Ugh, fine. I'm going to stay glued to my phone anyway, just so you know.

KH: You're always glued to your phone. Get some sleep.

AN: You too. Don't do anything stupid.

KH: I won't. I'll see you tomorrow.

Anastasia had already fallen asleep by the time her phone buzzed again with an incoming message only a few minutes later.

KH: I'll miss you too, beautiful.

Merry Christmas (belated) and a Happy New Year (in advance!). I hope to be more regular with my updates in 2019, but we can only hope! Please review and let me know what you think, I hope you're all enjoying the story and the holiday s(in whatever part of the world you may be!) xxx