Glass Hearts

by Brooklyn Blue

They've already lost Aidan, the grief is still strong and their hearts are fragile. Michelle has called off her wedding and Carla just wants her to be happy again. Now they need to keep one another closer than ever.

26. Chapter 26

A/n: This chapter is my double festive special, so please make yourselves a brew because it is the longest chapter yet! Sorry if you're dairy-free because this is full of cheese! (Ba-dum-ts!)

Tw: mild sexual content

It was dark when Michelle entered the flat, only the stark red glow from the button on the television, which had been left on standby, winking ominously in the silent room. She settled her keys against the counter and let out an exhausted sigh. It was barely past six-thirty in the morning. For the entire evening she'd sat at Ryan's bedside, holding his hand, talking to him softly over the steady whir of machines surrounding his bedside. Carla had stayed with her until early evening before having to head off to try and sleep, promising she'd check on Ali for her. She'd left Michelle the car, which the younger woman suspected had been a ploy to get her to return home for sleep herself at some point; she knew Carla would need it for work should there be last minute meetings to dash off to.

Her eyes fell towards the kitchen table and she let out a gasp, jumping in fright. She hadn't seen him there straight away, not until her eyes had become adjusted to the dark had she seen the dark figure hunched over the table, head in their hands.

"Ali!" She hissed, snapping on the kitchen light, the sudden harshness of the glare unwelcoming to both of them as they screwed up their eyes against the bright intrusion. They looked as bad as each other; peaky, facing one another with still expressions, like two stone carvings, permanent purple grooves etched beneath their eyes from a prolonged lack of sleep.

"Have you been up all night?" Michelle stressed, making her way over to where he was sat. She pulled out the chair beside him and sat down, placing her hand on his shoulder.

"Couldn't sleep." His voice sounded like a shoe scuffed against gravel, gruff from its lack of use. It was then she noticed the empty tumblr in front of him, the whiskey bottle that was only half full.

"Ali, I'm sorry for what I said at the hospital. I was in shock-"

"It fine." He cut across her, his gaze fixed intently on the surface of the table.

It was anything but, the tension between them was beginning to crush her and she desperately wanted to make things right.

"I'm proud of you," she continued, stretching out to try and hug him. "And really grateful that you were there, you saved us-"

Apparently it had been the wrong thing to say. He pulled back from her abruptly and shot to his feet, almost sending his chair toppling over in his haste.

"I did nothing anyone should be grateful for." Ali snapped, snatching up the bottle before making his way towards the bedroom. "I'm going to try and get some sleep, I don't want disturbing."

The slam of the door made her flinch, she had to blink the tears from her eyes. She was too exhausted to even begin to reason with him, not when it would only turn into a fight; something else that she didn't have the strength for.

"'Chelle?"

Another sleepy, husky voice came from the doorway, this one warmer, softer and causing a surge of longing to envelope her weary frame as she pulled herself from her chair and took a few steps closer to where Carla was stood. Looking fatigued but less so than the other two occupants, she was wrapped snugly in a snowy, teddy bear robe, her dark hair falling down the front of the cosy material. She was blinking, adjusting to the light after stepping from the darkness of their bedroom, one of her hands moving to brush the stray hairs away from her face.

"Sorry, did we wake you?"

"No, I wasn't really sleeping great. How's Ryan?" She asked, her eyes shining with concern.

"He still hasn't woke up but he's doing really well, they don't think it'll be long now."

"Oh, that's good news." Carla smiled with the relief, though it didn't stay stretched across her lips very long when she realised how upset the younger woman looked. Michelle had her eyes cast to the floor, where they were gradually filling with tears. Her figure was slumped where she stood, as though her body had given up trying to make the short distance from where she'd been sat to where Carla had appeared and her lower lip was trembling.

The sight before her tugged at her heartstrings. Carla hadn't ever given much thought to the expression. It was what people would say about those adverts on television about struggling animal shelters that rescued abandoned puppies and sure they weren't the cheeriest, but she had never understood the notion that something, other than the overwhelming grief that came with loss, could physically pull at her heart. Until it came to Michelle. Watching her stood there, looking so utterly fragmented, it was like she could feel the tug of those strings; the way they strained as her heart stretched, like it was trying to reach her, struggling desperately within the confines of her chest. It took a second for her sleep addled limbs to catch up with her emotions, but when they did she hurriedly made her way over to Michelle, holding her arms out.

"Baby, come here," She coaxed her gently, wrapping the younger woman in a comforting embrace.

Michelle clung to her gratefully, the tears that had gathered in her eyes spilling down her cheeks, her brow furrowed in an effort to keep her remaining pent up emotion at bay. She nuzzled into the soothing material of the dressing down Carla was wearing. It was so soft. She knew it would be.

"Ali can't stand to be around me," She whimpered tearfully, her voice cracking.

"That's not true at all," Carla assured her, stroking over her hair, beginning to sway the both of them gently. "He just needs time to process everything, like you do."

"I've cost him his job, his sanity, he's never going to forgive me. I bet he regrets ever stepping back into my life-" she choked on the rest of her words, heard the other brunette hushing her quietly and felt Carla's arms tighten around her. "I'm sorry, I know I should be happy that Ryan's going to be okay, I'm such a mess-"

"Hey, stop that." Carla stepped back slightly and observed her fiancée, using the tips of her fingers to brush tears from the younger woman's skin before cupping her cheeks. "Listen to me. Ali loves you, he does. He's traumatised though, 'Chelle, so are you and he will come to you when he's ready. And you," she paused, gently tipping her chin to bring Michelle's watery gaze to meet her own. "Are not a mess. You're shattered, sweetheart. Did you sleep at all at the hospital?"

At the shake of her head, Carla sighed. Michelle had managed to get in a fitful few hours the previous day while curled on the sofa with her, but she'd wriggled and murmured, unable to relax fully. She'd woke exactly three hours later and after a quick shower and change of clothes, the pair of them had been straight back up to the hospital where Michelle had remained.

"Every time I close my eyes, I see that maniac drive straight through him. I see him laid out on the road, pouring blood and I couldn't stop it." More tears trickled from beneath her eyes, which were now closed. Her lashes were heavy with them.

"Come on," Carla took her hand, which felt cool in contrast to her own and lead her through into the bedroom.

Their bed had never looked so inviting, the older brunette's side was rumpled where she'd slept, the corner of the duvet pulled back. Michelle could feel the exhaustion right to her bones, they ached with it. All she longed to do was collapse into the sheets, be able to switch off mentally as well as physically for a few hours. She changed into the pyjamas Carla handed to her without argument, her muscles practically cheering when she finally sank onto the soft mattress. Waiting until her fiancée had shuffled under the covers next to her, Michelle forwent her own pillow and instead crammed herself into Carla's, their foreheads touching when she turned to face her.

"Are you going to work?" Michelle whispered, stretching her hand beneath the duvet to find Carla's, lacing their fingers together.

"I can have an hour or so with you. I'm only going to be there until lunchtime to tie up a few loose ends and then I'm taking a few days off." It was something she'd decided the night previous. "I'm going to look after you."

"Can you do that?"

"I can do what I want." Carla shrugged, biting her lip slightly at the thought of Peter's reaction when she went to inform him he'd be solo for a few day's. "Besides, my so-called sleeping partner investor decided he was going to be assisting me from now on, full time."

Michelle, who had been using the pad of her thumb to brush over the back of Carla's hand, suddenly froze, glancing up at her uncertainly.

"Peter? How come?"

"He thinks I can't cope, he's just trying to prove a point. He'll get fed up." She sighed, bringing their entwined hands up to her mouth, pressing reassuring kisses over the younger woman's.

"I'm sorry," Michelle looked upset all over again, which confused Carla. It must have shown because after swallowing, she continued. "This is because of everything that's happening here. You've been running about after us, we've had so much going on and it isn't fair, you shouldn't have to deal with all this. I've piled so much stress onto you, you could have easily been in just as much danger as all of us if-"

"Michelle, stop it." Carla spoke firmly, but tiredly, she'd been over this so many times with her. "We're a family. Do you think even if we weren't together, I'd have let you go through this alone?"

She didn't answer, just struggled to push herself even closer towards Carla, gently curling her leg around the other woman's and nuzzling into the crook of her neck. "I still feel awful."

"You remember where I grew up right? The circumstances I grew up in? If there's anyone equipped to deal with something like this, then it's me."

Her words were true, but they didn't make Michelle feel any better. In fact, there was a sudden dampness against her skin and the younger woman's breath had become shaky again. "I promised I'd get you away from all of that, when we were kids."

"'Chelle, I wouldn't have even made it here if it hadn't been for you. You have to stop blaming yourself for all of this because I don't blame you one bit."

Carla gently unwound her fingers from Michelle's, letting go of her hand so that she could slide her own beneath her chin, pulling back to look at her face. Tear tracks still stained her cheeks, they were glinting in the dim light that filtered through the curtains. She moved in closer and touched soft kisses beneath her eyes, her nose bumping lightly into the younger brunette's when she pressed a third against her lips.

They both lingered, needing the contact, before Michelle pulled away and studied her fiancées face. She wasn't the only one who looked exhausted, there were shadows beneath Carla's eyes too.

"You said you hadn't slept well?"

"I missed you."

"Is that why you're wearing my dressing gown?" Michelle smiled, the weak blush that danced across Carla's cheeks at her words lightening her chest just for a second. She knew the conversation she was about to have with Carla would probably upset them both. It felt wrong, interrupting the serene moment but she'd promised to keep her up to date; the last thing she wanted was for Carla to think she was trying to keep things from her again.

"The police came to speak to me when you'd left the hospital." She mumbled, fiddling with the watch that was fastened around Carla's wrist; the other woman must have forgotten to remove it before bed.

"Again?"

"It's protocol for people who're in shock. Gives us time to process everything and remember more accurately. As if I want to rake over those details." Michelle half scoffed, half sighed. She couldn't be angry at the detective for doing her job and had Ryan's life not been on the line, she probably would have felt more cooperative.

"Did anything new come up?"

At Michelle's silence, Carla pushed herself up on her elbow, fixing her with a pointed stare.

"Ronan had a gun."

"A gun?" Had there been light in the room, Michelle was sure she'd have seen the other woman pale. "What the hell was he going to do with a gun?"

Michelle swallowed, reluctant to point out the obvious. Not that it needed saying, she was sure the question was mostly rhetorical.

"At worst, take us all out." She was surprised at now matter-of-factly she'd spoke the words, considering how little time had passed since she'd recovered from taking a bullet herself. Maybe she was growing immune to the trauma, or the idea of dying herself was so much less terrifying than the idea of losing her family. Or maybe she was just so tired.

"How dare he think he had the right to decide whether you lived or not. I know he lost his son but how does that at all justify taking three lives? Taking out my entire family just like that." Carla was speaking more to herself, trying to absorb the shock of Michelle's words. She didn't know whether she wanted to burst into tears or fits of rage. Her body was trembling with anger, but it was tears that sprang to her eyes.

"Hey, it's okay, we're safe now. I'm here." Michelle was unsure what reaction she'd been expecting but the tears had caught her by surprise. Then again, Carla hadn't cried herself yet, not properly, she'd held everything back to be strong for her.

"It's not okay, I don't know how many times I can cope with almost losing you." She whispered into the dark, her voice cracking. "I never want to let you out of my sight again." Even though the sob escaped from her own mouth, she still tried to pull the younger woman closer as if comforting her, but Michelle moved in first and gently guided Carla against herself, wrapping both arms firmly around her waist.

"He's gone now, no one's going to hurt me again. I'm not leaving you." She whispered soothingly, lacing kisses into her hair.

Carla was just as taken aback herself at her sudden display of emotion, but soaked up the comfort Michelle gave to her. With her head pressed into her chest, she relished the steady pulse of her heart; she never did take a moment spent with her for granted but she was overcome by a new wave of appreciation for her. Deciding that she was just going to have to be late, she pulled the duvet cover up over both of their shoulders and cuddled further into her in the room that was getting slowly lighter.

Michelle didn't know when she'd fallen to sleep, it must have been sometime after Carla's tears had stopped and she'd kissed her once more. All she knew was that the light streaming into the room was beyond irritating and she didn't want to wake up. Not yet. It was so warm, she was bundled up tightly and refusing to give in to the gentle shaking.

"'Chelle, come on baby. The police are on the phone."

Letting out a defeated groan as she sat up, wincing as the light savaged her eyes, she scrubbed her fists into them and cleared her throat, preparing to take the phone from Carla. The older woman must have woken before her, because she was freshly showered and dressed. She was clad in her usual dark denim, a white shirt and Michelle couldn't remember if she'd purchased it for herself or Carla. She thinks that she vaguely remembers wearing it one time and the older brunette had commented about how much she'd liked it. Michelle hadn't worn it since but had seen Carla pull it from the hanger on a few occasions. It looked good on her, but then again, what didn't?

Carla was still wandering around room while Michelle spoke down the phone, spraying perfume on herself and checking her reflection in the mirror. To look at, no one would ever think she'd spent most of the night tossing and turning, and a good hour crying into Michelle before dropping off for an extra few. It was pushing ten o'clock and Peter had sent a lot of texts in capital letters which she hadn't bothered to read.

"What was that about?" Carla asked, once the other woman had ended the call and dropped back against the headboard.

"I've got to go and make an official statement later, down at the station." She looked annoyed, even though it had been inevitable that she would have to do so.

"What time?"

"Twelve-thirty."

Carla let out a wince, knowing there was no way she'd be able to get in and out of the office in two hours, not if she wanted to complete everything she had to do before taking time off.

"I'm going to finish at half two, if you're still at the station I'll pick you up. If not, I'll meet you at the hospital?" She was right in assuming that was Michelle's plan for the day.

Nodding, Michelle reluctantly pushed back the covers and stepped out of bed, the chill hitting her as soon as she was free from the cushy confines. "God it's freezing."

"I know, I'll have to walk if my car hasn't defrosted. It'll take me less time." There wasn't really any reason not to walk today, other than the icy temperatures, she had no meetings and could come back for the car once she'd finished work. She made her way over to Michelle and rubbed her hands against her shoulders, creating a very feeble warmth. "Right, Ive got to dash off but I can message Kate or Johnny and ask them to sit with Ryan for a bit until we get up there, okay?" She had been about to suggest they ask Ali, but was unsure what terms him and Ryan were now on.

"Thank you," Michelle wrapped her arms around the other woman's neck, stretching up towards her. Carla was in relatively low heels but it still put her a good couple of inches above her. "I love you."

"I love you, too." She touched a brief kiss to Michelle's lips, but then seemed to think better of her actions and went in for a longer one, her thumb brushing the underside of her jaw. "I'll see you soon."

IXIXIXI

"No, I understand. It's family and family comes first. Go on."

"What?" Carla blinked, wondering if she'd misheard, because surely Peter Barlow wasn't being reasonable?

"I've got the gist of it, we're on track for this deadline and the others aren't for another week so if you need a few days, go on. I've got this."

"Uh, thanks." The factory boss still looked stumped as she gathered up her bag, slowly backing out of the office, as though she was expecting him to change his mind. Not that she'd have listened, it would have just meant another argument and a load of stress to come back to. She'd listened carefully for even a hint of sarcasm in his tone but there was none. "Right, I'll be back in a few days, then."

"Tell Ryan we're wishing him a speedy recovery, Mrs C!" Sean called out to her as she walked by the machinists, giving her a cheery wave.

"I will, thank you."

They were a decent workforce, really. Something she supposed she'd have to remember when it came to dishing out the Christmas bonus. She checked her phone once more and saw that Michelle hadn't replied to her previous message asking how she was getting on. A quick phone call confirmed to Carla that she must still be at the station, so she began making her way back to Victoria Court. She'd see how Ali was doing and wait for Michelle to phone her back.

Carla did end up taking a slight detour, deciding to grab sandwiches from Roy's for the three of them. They still needed to do a proper shop, despite the fact that she hadn't seen either Michelle or Ali eat much of anything since they'd come back from hospital. The latter had gained an appetite for whisky though and Carla had been debating whether to warn him what a slippery slope that was. Maybe she'd wait to see how things faired out after he'd been reinstated, it might be a temporary blip.

"Ali you can't leave!"

Carla had been too busy stuffing her purchases from Roy's Rolls into her bag to realise that Michelle had thrown herself in front of the car she recognised as her own.

"Please, you can't do this!" Michelle screamed at him, frantically.

The car gave a huge roar as the driver, who she assumed was Ali, revved the engine.

"Get our of the way!" He barked at her through the window and just for a split second, Carla thought he was going to drive through her.

"No, you're not leaving!"

Suddenly snapping into action after recovering from the initial shock, Carla dashed across towards where the two were playing a dangerous game of chicken and called out to them.

"What the hell is going on? Ali, what're you playing at?" She cried out, moving to stand by the open window. Met with a thunderous stare, he thrust his hand out in front of him, gesturing towards where Michelle was stood.

"Tell her to shift!"

"What the- Hey, this is my car, lad!" As realisation dawned on her, she wrenched open the door and snatched the keys from the ignition, effectively silencing the engine. "Get out! You're not going anywhere."

Waiting until he'd removed himself from the vehicle, she locked it up and stowed the keys safely in her bag.

"What the flamin' 'ell are you both playing at?" She looked from one to the other, wondering what on earth could have sparked such a dramatic spat. Ali was glaring at Michelle with something close to hatred while the younger brunette looked on the verge of collapse. Realising they were already attracting unwanted attention from passers-by, Carla gripped hold of Ali's shoulder and gave him a push towards the apartment building. "Get inside, both of you!"

Looking furious and opening his mouth to argue, Ali was cut off from saying anything again by Carla's stern tone.

"Now. Otherwise I'll report you for trying to steal my flippin' car!"

"Oh you're reporting me, too? That's what you're good at, isn't it? Ganging together. The Connor pack mentality." He snapped, though there was a hint of panic, his eyes were wide with hysteria as he glanced hurriedly around the street.

"Were you injured in that accident as well?" It was a semi-serious question, even if Carla had delivered it sarcastically. "You're part of this family-"

"That's a joke."

"Whether you like it or not, you are a Connor and we don't run away from our problems so you better get yourself back up to that flat or I swear I will drag you there, kid." She spoke with such authority, her fingertip jabbing towards the entrance of Victoria Court that he seemed unwilling to go against her demands. He let out a scoff, but turned and made his way back inside. Carla followed behind him, reaching out and resting a gentler hand against Michelle's back to gently guide her back inside too. She looked pale, completely terrified.

"I need one of you to explain to me what that was about." Carla spoke calmly once they were in the apartment, the door closed and locked.

Ali threw what appeared be a warning glance at Michelle, who looked torn, her eyes filling with tears.

"If you tell her, I will leave for good."

"Ali, I can't, I promised no more secrets." Michelle pleaded with him, reaching out to place her hand on his shoulder. He shrugged her off with vigour, turning on her.

"Well then I might as well go and hand myself in because if you haven't said anything, she will!" He looked at her expectantly, and when Michelle offered nothing in response it seemed to wind him up further. "Go on then!" Ali roared as his temper flared. "Tell her!"

But Michelle was incapable of saying anything, she'd jumped back in fright at his sudden outburst and Carla had seen quite enough of his anger herself.

"Oi!" She interjected, stalking up to him without an ounce of apprehension. "That's your mum, don't you shout at her like that!" Gripping hold of his bicep, she marched him over to the sofa and all but threw him down onto it. "Sit down and, this is the important one, calm down." She was pointing her finger at him warningly as she spoke.

Turning away from him so she could go to Michelle, who was still stood by the kitchen table, she slung her arm around her waist.

"Hey, come on, we can sort this," She began, before realising Michelle was trembling violently, her face void of all colour. "'Chelle? Baby, you're shaking." Carla pulled her closer, guiding her shivering frame against her body and wrapping her arms securely around her. "It's alright, it's alright," she tried to soothe her, casting a frown towards Ali over her shoulder.

"Happy now?" Carla couldn't stop herself from snapping, clearly under the impression that his rage had caused Michelle the upset. "You know how much stress she's been under-"

"She's not the only one." Ali mumbled, though did look slightly ashamed of himself. In fact, now that he wasn't shouting the odds, he looked in a similar state to the younger brunette; pale, shaking, like he was going to burst into tears at any given moment.

"I didn't say anything to the police." Michelle's voice was timid as it broke the air. She pulled back from Carla but kept hold of her hand as she made her way towards where Ali was sat. Confident that he wasn't about to go off again, Michelle took a seat beside him with Carla joining her closely.

"Michelle, what's going on?" The older brunette frowned, looking to them both for an explanation.

"Ali, please, Carla won't say anything. She loves us."

"She loves you."

"Can you stop speaking as though I'm not sat here?" Carla herself suddenly interjected, shaking her head at the pair of them. "I love my entire family, and right now I'm worried sick about them because neither of you will tell me what's happening."

There was a long pause, where Ali and Michelle seemed to converse silently. The young doctor looked defeated, pushing his hand over his hair in stress, a trait that Carla had always associated with Michelle.

"Ali panicked after the accident," Michelle started, though was stopped by Ali, who had reached out to rest his hand over hers. It was hard to tell whether he looked more terrified or sick. His expression had Carla wondering if she should run for a bucket.

"Mum, I did it. I'll say it."

He took a deep breath, glancing up at the ceiling while he blinked the moisture from his eyes. It took him a moment longer to form what little composure he could muster. It wasn't a lot, his hands were trembling as much as Michelle had been when he finally faced Carla.

"I killed Ronan."

The words rang around the room, there was silence as they waited for Carla to process the words, which she was having difficulty doing.

"What do you mean?" It might have been a daft question about a statement that clearly spoke for itself, but the older woman was sure it wasn't in the right context. "Wait, did you just not save him? Because that doesn't mean-"

"No, I don't mean that." He struggled with his breathing for a moment, trying to slow it down enough to continue. "I mean I saw him there, impaled on that fence post, I saw the gun in his car and I- I just- I pulled it out of him. Hard as I could." His jaw clenched, teeth clamping together and he dropped his head in his hands, letting out a shuddering sigh. It was strange, the relief of a confession, as though the crushing weight that he'd been forced to carry alone for day's was now shared between the three of them. But the panic that burned in the back of his throat was causing bile to rise. "I'm going to be sick." He jumped up from the sofa and flew over to the bathroom, the bang of the door coming only seconds before the sound of fetching.

Carla was sat in the stunned silence he'd left behind, her eyes growing wet with the shock. She looked up at Michelle, as though waiting for her to confirm. The hazel eyes in front of her had rarely looked so pained, so burdened, sparkling with tears as she gave a small nod. She offered no words, just held out her arms and allowed Michelle to shuffle into them.

"I'm sorry," the younger woman sniffed, tense against Carla's frame. Carla herself was trying to process her own thoughts, she didn't respond to Michelle verbally but kissed the top of her head.

Her nephew was a murderer? Okay, but why wasn't she scared? Why wasn't see jumping up to run to the police or bundling Michelle our of the flat away from him? It was a simple answer, one that she was terrified to admit: she understood. A man that had spend days terrorising her family, dying, having planned to possibly finish them off? Ryan had said himself he killed people who got on the wrong side of him. She could never know for sure what she'd have done if faced with that situation, maybe she wouldn't have done what Ali had, but would she have refused to help him? Let him die? Even hoped he would? Without a doubt.

"I should go to the police station." Both women turned around to see Ali emerging from the bathroom, his skin clammy, verging on green in the face. He was still trembling, his eyes pink from the tears he'd shed. He was reaching out for his coat.

"No, Ali. Don't." He looked shocked when Carla stood up, on the verge of stopping him from making a terrible mistake. "This never gets out. I won't say anything."

But he shook his head, backing further away from the pair of them. "No, I have to. I'm alive and he's dead, that's wrong. I should be allowed to just carry on as normal."

Carla followed him towards the door and took hold of his wrist, pulling him back. "That's exactly what you're going to do. Ali, your mum needs you." It was a low blow, emotional blackmail, using Michelle to get him to reconsider, but it did the trick. He allowed her to lead him back over to where the younger woman was sat and this time Carla didn't sit with her, but on the doctor's other side.

"It's okay saying this now, but one row, one disagreement and it'll all come spilling out."

"Ali, we would never do that to you." Michelle leant forward and took hold of his hand, clasping it in both of her own. "I swear to you."

"I don't blame you for doing what you did." Carla admitted to him, despite not being fully comfortable with the fact that she wasn't disgusted by it. "I understand why you did it. I think if I'd have been in the same situation, I'd have been tempted to do the same. I'm just not sure I'd have had the guts-"

"Please don't make out I was brave, what I did was one of the worst things you can do to another person."

"Ali, you're not the mindless criminal, he was. He put you all in the situation that lead to his death." Carla could see the worry dancing across his face, the flicker of doubt in his eyes. He didn't fully trust her words, and why would he? It wasn't as though he knew much about her. She bit her lip, battling with the sudden internal conflict that had flared up on her sudden brainwave to get him to, for it could possibly be one of her most unwise decisions to date.

"You know, when I first came onto this street, I was married to your Uncle and he had the factory. I wanted my own business so badly, I was so power hungry, wanted to prove myself that I thought I'd start my own clothing line on the side." She began, the nerves already causing her stomach to tense. "I hired workers illegally, made them work all hours. They were exhausted."

"Carla, you don't have to do this." Michelle cut in, looking serious. She was touched at how far the other woman was prepared to go in order to help Ali, but she'd already done so much and she had a right to leave her past exactly there.

"It's fine, I want to, it's okay." Carla assured her, feeling able to continue. Being with Michelle meant that she'd often reflected on her past and, although she wasn't proud of a lot of the things she had done, she'd accepted that the person she'd been wasn't one she liked very much and had used this only to change herself for the better. It had been such a huge part of the reason for her struggles with not feeling enough but Michelle had showed her so much about love and acceptance that she felt able to talk about one of the things she was least proud of without it resulting in her relapsing back into any of her unhealthy habits.

"One of the workers fell down the stairs, she died instantly." Carla sighed, closing her eyes at the memory. "Paul and I covered it up. We didn't phone for an ambulance straight away, we made out she'd clocked in at the time his staff would and then we reported it as an accident. We swore your other Uncle to secrecy, he hated it, but we were family so he put up with it."

She chanced a glance up at him, a flutter of relief passing over her chest when he didn't look at her in disgust. He looked merely thoughtful, taking in her words, maybe even slightly confused.

"Anyway, I told you that because what I'm trying to say is I did that out of nothing but cowardice and selfishness. It was all for my own gain. I wish I could say I learnt a lesson but the amount of mistakes I've gone on to make should have probably landed me in the nick a good while ago." She bit her lip in contemplation, knowing that Michelle was probably aching to jump to her defence. She'd knew exactly what the younger woman would say, too; that she had been through so much, had the worst start in life, that she'd more than made up for her mistakes. Michelle had a kind heart, much like the man who was sat beside her, who seemed to want nothing more than to throw himself into the nearest prison cell.

"Ali, you're nothing like that. You do realise that you have probably saved so many lives now that Ronan can't take anymore?" Carla pointed out, trying to make him see some sort of balance. "Not only that," Her expression softened and she brought her hand up to his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. "But you saved my family and I will be forever grateful to you."

The tears that were gathered in Ali's eyes spilled over and he shook his head, dropping back against the sofa. "It's the guilt, it's too hard to live with." He confessed, staring down at his lap to avoid eye contact with either of them. Michelle looked scared at his choice of words, she shot a fearful glance at Carla who looked just as concerned for his wellbeing. "I feel it all the time, in here." His hand was pressed flat against his chest. "I can't sleep, because it doesn't stop. I just want it all to end."

"It won't last forever." Michelle whispered, trying to take hold of his hand, but he refused to let her have it. "You remember what Robert shouted in the Bistro, don't you? About saving me from that bridge? It was just after- after I lost Ruairi." She paused for a second, forcing her voice to remain steady. She wasn't going to go to pieces, not when he needed her and not when she knew she could help him. "I felt like I couldn't carry on without him, I didn't want to. I sat on top of the bridge and all I wanted to do was throw myself off it. I wanted that pain to end."

Ali's head snapped up to look at her, he looked so heartbroken at her words, there were tears on his cheeks.

"Mum, you never told me." His voice was stained with the effort it was taking him not to succumb to his emotions. It was something Carla was struggling with too, heating Michelle speak about such a dark and hopeless point in her life. But she knew why she was telling it to him and so refrained from going over to her, ignored her instinct to wrap her up and soothe every sadness within her because Michelle had shown exactly the same restraint when Carla had been speaking to Ali. This was about helping him.

"It gets better, darling," Michelle whispered, bringing her hand up to rest on his cheek. "I got through it and you will, too. It just takes time. But I'm going to be here, okay? I'm going to help you."

He gave a small nod at her words and a flurry of tears escaped from his broken gaze and Michelle brushed them back, swallowing hard to keep her own at bay. The amount of strength she was displaying to keep herself composed was astounding. "I mean it, every night, every day, I'm going to be right here for you, I promise. You're not going anywhere. No one's taking you away, you're never leaving me again."

At those words, he unravelled completely, collapsing against her as the sons tore from his throat. Michelle looked relieved, relieved that he was finally releasing everything that had been pent up. She wound her arms tightly around her son, hushing him softly.

"It's okay, baby," She whispered, stroking over the back of his hair. "It's going to be okay."

Wiping swiftly beneath her eyes, Carla got up from where she'd been sat, deciding that Michelle and Ali needed a moment. She walked around the back of the sofa, pausing to press a lingering kiss on the top of her fiancées head, allowing her fingertips to brush over her silky hair before retiring to their bedroom. She suddenly felt exhausted, so could only imagine how drained Michelle must be feeling. Sitting herself down on the edge of the bed, she glanced around the room. They'd neglected it and it was showing. Although it was the last thing she felt like doing, she forced herself to her feet once more and began sorting through the mess.

The laundry basket was full by the time she'd finished sifting through clothes that had been strewn haphazardly on the carpet and she'd decided to change their bedding. She was just arranging the pillows when the door was pushed open, Michelle's much calmer face peering around the corner.

"What're you rattling around at- oh." She stepped further into the bedroom and glanced around, looking impressed. "Carla, you didn't have to do all of this on your own."

The older brunette moved swiftly towards her, cupping her face in her hands and pressing a longing kiss against her lips. "I am so proud of you." She murmured, her words warm against the her fiancée's mouth. "You're a pillar of strength for those two lads, you amaze me, 'Chelle."

Michelle looked touched at her words, a smile forming across her lips, something she wasn't used to seeing on her face in the recent days. It was something she hadn't realised she'd missed until then.

"How's he doing?"

"He's crashed out on the sofa." Michelle sat down on the edge of the newly made bed, patting the space next to her.

"Really?" It wasn't news that he hadn't been sleeping much over the last few day's, none of them had. But, Carla now suspected after his confession, he probably had been doing the worst out of all of them.

"Yeah, he was just crying and crying, like he was never going to stop and then he just fell to sleep. Like a baby...My baby."

Carla smiled, tucking a strand of Michelle's hair behind her ear, prompting the younger woman to turn and face her. "You know, as soon as you found out you were having him, I just knew, I said you'd be such a good mum. Turns out you're the best."

Michelle tilted her head, a look of adoration across her face that was aimed directly at the woman opposite her.

"I think I might stay here with him, make sure he's alright when he wakes up."

Carla nodded, sliding her hand across the sheet and resting in on top of her fiancee's, who turned her palm up and weaved their fingers together.

"I can go and sit with Ryan for a bit, let you know he's alright." She offered, giving Michelle's hand a gentle squeeze.

She turned to face her once more, bringing herself forward until they were lightly resting against one another. "Thank you," Michelle whispered, opening her arms to silently beckon Carla into them. "You're absolutely amazing with Ali and Ryan, you know? I can't thank you enough. Especially for what you did today."

"You don't have to thank me, I'm always going to be there for them, you know?"

"I know Ryan jokes that you're his wicked step-mum and I know it's kind of complicated because he was your nephew and that's probably how you see him and Ali only came back into our lives recently so we've had to get to know him again and I don't know how you see him but, they both really look up to you." Michelle spoke quickly, as though worried about how Carla would take what she was insinuating. She was trailing her fingertips across her back as she spoke, tracing relaxing circles through the material of her top. "I suppose I just mean that, you're becoming sort of like a parent figure to them. Someone they can talk to, go to for help or advice. And I know you'd do right by them every time. You're the only person in this world I'd trust that to."

Carla knew how huge of a gesture that was, she knew how much Michelle loved her two sons, they were everything she lived for. The thought they might see her like that didn't scare her, not as it might have done before. It probably had a lot to do with the fact that they had already grown up and they got along so well, but Carla liked to think that they'd see her as approachable as Michelle was, for anything they needed. She sat up, clocking Michelle's worried gaze and reaching out to cup her cheeks, reassuring her with a smile.

"I would be so proud to have that significance in their lives, 'Chelle. I see parts of you in them all the time and to be able to look at the three of you and say this is my family, there's nothing that is ever going to be able to replace that feeling."

Michelle's lips were on hers the moment she'd finished speaking, her hands holding her face so gently, the pads of her thumbs brushing over her jawline, around the outline of her ear and Carla was responding just as lovingly. She wound her own hands into the other woman's hair, massaging then back of her head, enjoying the contact, the comfort that it brought to them both. They knew that they had harder times to come before things started to get even slightly better, but they'd left room for little doubt that they wouldn't be able to get through it.

IXIXIXI

"So Ryan's allowed home tomorrow?" Carla grinned brightly, beckoning Michelle over to the sofa after she'd dumped a handful of shopping bags onto the counter and hung up her coat. She let out a sigh of relief when the younger woman confirmed, sliding the iPad, which she'd finally got around to fixing for Michelle, from her knee so she could lean up and greet her fiancée with a kiss.

"Yeah, he's ecstatic. Thanks for letting me take the car, mine should be mended soon." Michelle didn't join her on the sofa right away, but sauntered back over into the kitchen to begin putting away everything she'd purchased at Freshco's. "It's getting manic in there now it's nearing Christmas, two old women were in a fight over a turkey Wellington." She chuckled, her tone overly bright as she continued to stack away the groceries. Carla knew exactly the conversation she was putting off. Heaving herself from the sofa, she wandered over to the younger woman and pulled the tubs of yoghurt she was holding from her grasp, placing them back down onto the table and instead taking her hands.

"We're not calling it off, we're just postponing."

"You wanted to marry me before the year was out." Michelle whispered, refusing the look her in the eye. "And I wanted it too."

"I want to marry you tomorrow, in the next half hour, right now," Carla listed off with a gentle laugh, reaching out to tip her chin. "But I want our day to be perfect, I want everything to go right. Johnny and Jenny understand, it's not like they'd already got the catering in, is it? The bakery was happy enough for us to delay, we can still use the decorations, Kate and Maria have their dresses and we have more time to find our own."

Michelle swallowed, giving a reluctant nod. It was the right thing to do, ever since they'd become engaged, planning had been one stress after another in between everything else that had gone on. But it had been their one thing to look forward to, one of the things that was getting her through the rough nights she spent either at Ryan's bedside or on the sofa with Ali, who had been having recurring nightmares about what he'd done and had taken to staying up all night in order to avoid them. The first night she'd heard him, pacing, panting, trying to control his panic. Since then he'd tried to remain inconspicuous but every morning she'd found him either on the sofa or sat at the table, head in his hands, jumping from the light doze he'd slipped into at any sudden noise.

It was probably better to wait until she was back to getting a full nights sleep again, her days of putting on make up were few and far between and her hair had lost some of its shine. Although Carla had insisted over and over again that she was perfect either way, she didn't feel like herself and she was certain the amount of weight she'd lost from stress was making her look gaunt.

"You didn't have to do the shopping, at least not on your own." Carla sighed, rubbing a gentle hand over her back before beginning to help her fill the cupboards.

"I just wanted to do something useful, you've been so busy with everything." Michelle felt guilty, she hadn't felt much like eating, so cooking had fallen on her list of priorities, she couldn't remember the last time she'd picked up the hoover and as for responding to any client messages, her iPad had only been brought back to life thanks to Carla and she was dreading going through the backlog of messages. There were probably so many complaints, she was sure to be finished and even though in that moment she didn't care, she knew when she made it through the other side, she'd be even angrier with herself. With that thought in mind, she dragged herself over to the sofa and flopped down after she'd finished putting everything away, reluctantly picking up her device. It was still early, there was almost a full working day left for her to try and salvage anything of it.

"What're you doing?" Carla asked, her voice appearing suddenly over her shoulder as she leant against the back of the couch.

"I'm looking at what I've- hang on. Why is there a post saying I'm not accepting anymore clients?"

Carla looked shifty.

"Well, I just thought with everything that's been going on, the last thing you needed was a whole load of emails to rummage through so I figured best to let everyone know that you were 'fully booked' until further notice."

Michelle tried to force down the stab of irritation at the other woman's words; Carla had only been trying to help, and she was grateful.

"Oh, I could have done that myself though." Michelle shrugged, absentmindedly scrolling down the page. "Actually I needed to get in touch with that DJ for-"

"Done it." Carla cut across her, nudging Michelle's hand out of the way and opening a folder for the clients wedding, showing her the confirmation email.

"Why? That was for me to do."

"Don't worry, I can handle it."

Perhaps it was her choice of words that caused Michelle's temper to flare, as if she couldn't handle it, or maybe it was the lack of sleep or the events of the last couple of weeks that had stretched her to breaking point.

"Well I don't need you to handle it!" She snapped, snatching the iPad away from her fiancée, who was completely taken aback at her mood. "I'm capable of dealing with it myself!"

"Hey, I was only trying to help you. I know how tough things have been, I understand that but these clients won't, will they? They're going to expect you to provide a service, you can't just leave them-"

"Don't talk to me like I don't know how a business works! Just because you've been doing it longer, you don't have the monopoly on knowledge about how one is run!"

Carla folded her arms across her chest, resenting the tone the younger woman was using when speaking to her.

"I have enough knowledge to know this one was being run right into the ground!" She bit back, causing Michelle to rise to her feet in anger.

"Carla, not your job to interfere with my business!"

"Well excuse me for trying to make sure you had one to come back to."

"Give over, I've seen how smug you look!" Michelle scoffed, overly sensitive because she knew herself she hadn't been managing at all. She was blowing it way out of proportion but she couldn't seem to stop the anger from bursting out of her. "Walking around like it's all water off a ducks back, you just love the ego kick don't you? I bet you're thrilled to feel so needed, that for once I'm the disaster and you get to finally assuage your own insecurities and 'balance' out our relationship!"

The hurt that flashed across Carla's face didn't even register with her.

"I don't need a babysitter, this is my business okay? Whether it fails or not, it's mine!"

God it had felt so good to scream, just in that moment, to hell with the consequences. The feeling lasted all of five seconds, five seconds of silence and that was all it took for Carla to swing her bag over her shoulder and leave the apartment.

It hit her then, the look across the other woman's face when she'd insinuated what she had, as though she could scarcely believe Michelle would deliberately choose to hurt her like that. It had been such a low blow.

IXIXIXI

"Am I interrupting?" Michelle spoke uncertainly; she'd pushed the office door open after knocking three times, her eyes falling to where Carla had been hunched over her desk. She swivelled around to face Michelle, her eyebrow raised slightly as she took in the younger woman's unusually demure demeanour. She'd actually knocked, for starters, even though the blinds were open and she could see perfectly well that there was no meeting taking place, just herself and Peter staring at their respective computer screens, occasionally engaging in small talk.

Michelle was still stood in the doorway, clutching a white take out box from Roy's. She looked extremely guilty, her eyes wide and sorrowful as she met Carla's; like a scolded child who was sorry for their actions, wondering if they were now forgiven. It reminded Carla of the tactics Michelle used to pull when she was younger to get around Barry, she'd seen the exact same expression on her face after he'd told her off for sneaking into and hanging around the old lorry yard. She and Carla would leap across the ones that were lined up detached from their container boxes, purely for fun; some were parked more widely space which made the gaps from one to the other bigger, more daring. A couple of times it had resulted in scraped knees or other bumps and bruises and Barry would work out where they'd been and warn her that she wouldn't be allowed to play with Carla anymore, but she'd been forgiven every time courtesy of the expression she was currently aiming at Carla herself. Whether Michelle realised or it or not, her lips were set into a subtle, saddened pout and it caused the corner's of the older brunette's to twitched slightly. She quickly covered this with an eye roll and exasperated sigh.

"No, it's fine, come in."

"I'll take an early lunch," Peter was quick to excuse himself, which Carla had to give him credit for.

"He wasn't even working." Michelle scoffed as she watched him leave. "He was staring into space, chewing the end of his pen all the time I was chatting to Sean."

"Ooh, Michelle Connor, you grass." Carla smirked, "I thought you and him were on good terms, you know, after the whole kissing-and-making-up-with-flowers scene at the hospital?"

Michelle's nose scrunched in disgust at Carla's deliberate choice of words, knowing full well the older woman was trying to wind her up; she had one eyebrow raised, cockily, her arms folded across her chest.

"Yeah well I don't like that he's making your life a misery again." She murmured, situating herself on the edge of Carla's desk.

"Oh, hardly," Her fiancée laughed, using the tip of her boot to rock herself in her seat. "That implies he has enough significance. He's a mild inconvenience, is all."

"He still irritates me." Michelle mumbled, frowning across at the seat he'd just vacated. "Even when you were together, he just used to grate on me." There was a pause after she'd finished speaking, it was only when Carla responded with silence that Michelle looked up at her and caught her with that same smirk, arms folded.

"Did he now?" She grinned, biting her lip at the way Michelle cleared her throat awkwardly and searched for something else to say. "Why was that, then?"

"Just the way he lorded it over me." She shrugged picking at the sleeve of her coat, removing imaginary specks off flint from the black wool.

"Mm-hmm. That all?" Carla pressed, enjoying watching the younger woman's internal conflict, a frown forming across her slightly flushed face as she seemed to struggle with her feelings.

"I didn't like him with you." She admitted, before looking up hurriedly. "But only because he wasn't good enough for- will you stop smirking at me like that?"

The older woman let out a gleeful cackle at her success in winding her up. She gripped hold of the edge of the desk to pull her chair closer and once she was within reach, allowed her hands to rest lightly in Michelle's lap. "So, what did you want?"

Having been so caught up in the other woman's tormenting, Michelle had forgotten for a moment exactly why she'd stepped into the office in the first place. With a jolt of realisation, she wrapped her own hands around Carla's, giving them a gentle squeeze. "I came to apologise to you. I'm sorry for what I said. I shouldn't have implied you were enjoying all of this uproar, I know you're not." She sighed, lightly brushing her thumb over the back of the other woman's hand. "And I shouldn't have thrown your insecurities in your face like that. It was really nasty of me and I'm mortified I made out you were getting an ego kick. I didn't mean it. It was beyond uncalled for, I behaved horribly and you didn't deserve it at all. I'm really sorry that I hurt you."

It was so heartfelt, Carla knew she meant it with every bit of her. She hadn't bustled in with a simple 'sorry' and expected the argument to be forgotten, Michelle had clearly taken the time to reflect on what she'd said, thought about exactly what it was that had hurt her and understood how it had done so. The younger woman had been right, it had hurt, but right now Carla couldn't feel any more assured. Having straight out admitted that she was wrong, without trying to make a single excuse for herself, it was evident just how much Michelle respected her and it sometimes amazed Carla how healthy the relationship they'd developed was. It wasn't something she was used to.

"Thank you," she whispered, now tracing her own fingertip over the back of Michelle's hand. "for apologising, I really appreciate it. It did hurt but I do understand how much stress you've been under. You've not been eating or sleeping properly, either. I get you weren't really thinking straight and I know you didn't mean it."

"You're forgiving me?"

"Well, I might have to think about that one." Carla teased, letting go of her hand so she could reach beneath her chin, coaxing her down to capture her lips in a gentle kiss. Michelle responded happily, winding her hand into the back of her hair so she could hold her closer.

"I really don't know what I'd do without you, Carla. You've looked after me and the boys all while running this place." The younger brunette murmured, dotting more brief kisses against her lips as she spoke. "You don't realise how amazing you are." Reaching to the side of her, she plucked the box she'd brought in with her and set it in Carla's lap, who looked up at her confused.

"It's for you. But I wanted to apologise properly first, so it didn't look like I was buying you off." She shrugged.

"With a cake from Roy's?" Carla chuckled, though soon stopped short when she flipped the lid and caught eye of its contents. "Michelle?"

There wasn't a single item of confectionary from the cafe. Instead there was a second box; a deep blue leatherette rectangular one with a silver trim. Michelle was biting her lip, she looked as she had when first appearing in the office doorway; almost shy, her hands clasped in anticipation. "Open it then." She encouraged, nodding to where Carla's fingertips had frozen in mid air. The other woman reached down and used her thumb to pry open the lid. It wasn't often Carla was lost for words, her mouth falling open as she laid eyes upon the contents. Nestled on a bed of velvet was possibly one of the most stunning necklaces she'd ever seen. It was a delicate white gold chain and hanging from it, a deep blue oval sapphire, framed in a halo of diamonds. It was precisely cut so that glorious flashes of light emanated from within each gem when she tilted the box to get a closer look.

"I was going to give it to you just before our wedding day. You know, something new and blue." Michelle spoke softly, resting her hand on Carla's arm, who seemed to be frozen. "But with us postponing, I wanted you to have it now." She let go of her arm and gently tucked her fingertips beneath her chin, raising Carla's gaze from the piece of jewellery. "I really am so grateful. I hope you know, I do realise just how lucky I am to have you."

Opening her mouth to speak, Carla was searching frantically for the right words. She allowed herself another peek down at her lap, stroking a careful finger over the necklace. "'Chelle, you really didn't- Oh, it's so beautiful, so beautiful."

Michelle picked up the jewellery box, discarding the one Roy had let her take to the bin beneath the desk. Wordlessly, she took the chain from its cushioned confines and her fiancée took the cue to reach behind her and gather her hair to one side. It made the task a lot easier for Michelle, who was able to fasten the necklace effortlessly around her neck.

"Just like you." The younger brunette was unable to refrain leaning in and brushing her lips along Carla's exposed skin once she'd done the clasp, hearing the gentle sigh she emitted at the sensation. Carefully, Michelle swivelled the chair around so she could see her. "I knew it'd look good on you." She dipped her hand into bag, pulling out the small cosmetic mirror that she carried, before sliding into her lap.

Carla welcomed her in straight away, wrapping one arm around her waist and kissing the side of her head as Michelle flipped the mirror open and held it out in front of the other brunette. Carla raised her other hand to stroke over the glittering jewel, a beaming grin forming across her face.

"God, it really is gorgeous. 'Chelle, thank you," Carla turned her head and kissed her again, lingering for a moment before allowing Michelle to settle against her, resting the chin at the top of her head.

"This is all I'll ever need," Michelle murmured quietly, winding a strand of Carla's chestnut hair around her finger as she spoke. "It's more than enough, you know? I feel so safe with you, it's something that only you can give me. It's like, when you're here, everything feels like it's going to be alright."

"That's because it is, trust me."

"I do."

They were silent then, for a while. It was almost like they'd forgotten that they were right in the middle of a working day, crammed together on one of the office chairs with the steady hum of machinery and muffled, idle chatter in the background. Michelle had her eyes closed, melting further into Carla when she began to stroke her hair, basking in the kind of comfort only she could bring her. Her eyes only opened again at Carla's gentle hum of laughter. The other woman had a bemused smile across her face, staring off into the distance at nothing in particular.

"What're you thinking about?"

"I'm so glad you were leathered that night and decided to plant one on me."

"Carla!" Michelle joined in with the laughter, nuzzling into her before growing semi-serious. "Do you think things would be different if I hadn't?"

"No, I think we'd have ended up here somehow. This is exactly where we're supposed to be." Carla spoke carefully, choosing her words with thought. She believed them, even if she couldn't quite picture how things might have happened differently.

"I wish we'd have had it just a little easier." Michelle frowned, thinking back upon the whirlwind that had been the last eight months. They'd run into one disaster after another, had their relationship tried from all angles; family, their own selves, unstable ex partners, their current position was just one of the many times fate seemed to try and intervene.

"When has the world ever made anything easy for us, babe?"

"True." Michelle scoffed, though calmed slightly when Carla's hand returned to her hair, as though the other woman had realised she was in danger of winding herself up and was reminding her to relax. "I suppose after everything, I'm just sick of being tested."

"Ah, but do you remember what the teacher's used to tell us in school about tests? To try and justify them throwing exams at us before Christmas." Carla wrinkled her nose at her school memories, they weren't exactly years she looked back on too fondly. "'They're not tests, they're an indication of how much you've learned over the year, Miss Donovan'" She imitated her former tutor down to the word. Granted, when such examinations were academical, it always turned out that Carla hadn't really grasped hold of a lot. She liked to think she performed very differently when life was doing the testing. "Do you want to know what I've learned?"

Michelle glanced up at her curiously, wondering where she was going with the analogy.

"That we are infinitely stronger together than we are apart. Between you and me, there's absolutely nothing that we can't get through."

The younger woman's expression instantly softened and she stretched out her hand, resting her fingertips against her fiancée's cheek, brushing a gentle thumb over her cheekbone.

"Carla," She whispered, catching her gaze as she moved in, resting her forehead against the other brunette's.

"Go on, tell me how much you love me," Carla teased her, guessing exactly what the next words on her mouth would have been.

"Ridiculous amounts." Michelle murmured, gently nudging their noses together. "So much, I don't know what to do with it all."

They moved in together, connecting their lips in a firm kiss. Neither pulled away this time, Carla caught the younger woman's lower one between her own and they continued to work against one another until her lips parted and the tip of her tongue met Michelle's, causing her to whimper in approval. Carla felt the shiver that cascaded down her spine, her grip tightening in the younger brunette's hair.

"Why don't you send those lot for an early dinner, too?" Michelle suggested breathlessly, after they'd finally pulled away.

"Oh, are you hungry?"

Michelle made a point of raking her eyes over Carla's frame, drinking her in. They lingered longer where the necklace was resting against her chest and she stroked her fingertip against the ridge of her collarbone. When she finally met the green hues that bore into her, she saw they were darkened, even under the office lights.

"I'm ravenous."

Grinning, they both scrambled up from the chair. Carla threw open the office door to call to her workforce while Michelle took it upon herself to start closing the blinds.

"Right, you lot! Early lunch, you can take an extra half hour if you're all up and out of here within the next thirty seconds."

Absolutely no one in that room needed telling twice. The hum of machinery stopped so suddenly it was jarring and there was a mad dash as everyone began to gather their coats, wrapping themselves up warm as they prepared to head out into the icy winter air. Beth looked like she wanted to question Carla's surprising generosity, a frown crossing her face as she walked by them. She opened her mouth, probably to voice that very question but was stopped by Sean, who gave her a sharp nudge and ushered her towards the exit. Whether just eager for his lunch and worried Carla would change her mind, or whether he suspected the reason for their early dart, he didn't pause to subject them to any kind of interrogation himself. Satisfied that the factory floor was deserted, she closed the office door and locked it, leaving her key in place and sliding the bolt across for added security.

Michelle was on her the second she'd turned around, pressing her body flush against the door she'd just come through and attacking her with fierce kisses, which Carla responded to with just as much fire.

"An extra half hour?" The younger woman smirked, her hand was already working its way beneath the hem of Carla's shirt, grazing over her heated skin. "Someone's feeling optimistic."

"Mm, well," The older brunette tried to articulate between the pressure of Michelle's mouth against her own. She placed her hands firmly on her fiancées waist and began to guide her backwards, towards the chair they'd only recently vacated. Carla pushed her down into it, wasting no time in hooking her leg over her lap to straddle her, pressing her frame against Michelle's once more. "You're not the only one with an appetite, today."

IXIXIXI

Thank goodness the day was over. It was always a mad dash towards Christmas to get out the orders but, somehow, they'd made it. With only a few day's left until Christmas itself, Carla was going to welcome the much needed break. As she pushed her keys into the lock and entered the apartment, she stopped short. For a split second, she wondered madly if she'd completely stepped into the wrong home.

The place was shimmering. Garlands of tinsel had been strung over the fireplace and around the photo frames, Christmas cards were cluttering every surface, fairy lights twinkled in the window along with a candle bridge and a hideous looking Father Christmas, grinning with teeth that were too white against his round, pink face. It felt like she'd walked right into the middle of Santa's grotto. It looked sickeningly lovely.

"Hi!" Michelle grinned brightly from the kitchen when she stepped further into the room, still taking in the festive decorations, noticing that the door she'd just come through had a frosted wreath, glittering with jewelled berries attached to the back of it. The place was ridiculously cosy and she welcomed the warmth after being in the crisp December air. The cobbles had already started to glitter with frost when she'd began her journey home. A huge chunk of the heat was probably owing to the fact that the oven was on and the smell emanating from the kitchen made her mouth water. It was something rich, a combination of spices she thinks she might vaguely remember from the Bistro.

"Hey, you." Carla broke into a grin at the sight of her, apron fastened around her waist, her hair pulled up onto the top of her head. "What's all this?" She chuckled, pulling gently on her apron to bring her closer.

"Well, I thought we'd get into the festive spirit." She shrugged, reaching into the front pocket and pulling a sprig of mistletoe from it, holding it triumphantly over her head as she cleared her throat. "It's bad luck not to kiss the person you meet under the mistletoe."

"Well we wouldn't want to risk that, would we?" Carla smirked, wrapping her arms around the younger woman's waist and sealing the remainder of the distance between them. She worked her lips affectionately against Michelle's, all for deepening the kiss until a groan sounded from within the corner of the living room.

"Pack it in." Ryan droned, sounding bored and thoroughly over the constant displays of affection. His voice had made Carla jump, she hadn't even noticed him, stood in the only part of the flat that wasn't lit up, courtesy of a fluffy Christmas tree, it's branches currently being wrestled into position by her nephew. "There!" He stepped away from it, holding his hand out as if to display his work. "Is that better?"

"Hmm," Michelle tilted her head to one side, then the other, scrutinising the position of the false, festive plant. "It still doesn't look completely straight."

"You don't look completely straight." Ryan fired back, childishly, his nose wrinkling in humour as he nodded over to the pair, who were still wound around one another.

Carla let out a bark of laughter, letting go of Michelle so she could assist her nephew. "That's because she's fancied me for years."

"Give over! You liked me first." Michelle shot back playfully, abandoning her apron and joining the other two, who had decided that the tree was good enough and were now rifling through the box of decorations.

"You kissed me first." The older brunette taunted, picking up one of the decorative gold bows and placing it on top of her fiancée's head.

"I'll be puking first if you don't behave! Do you have to flirt? You're already together."

It turned out there was quite a few more decorations than needed; a rainbow of metallic baubles, miniature bronze cherubs, swirling, pearly white icicles, more of the golden bows and a whole set of pretty wooden reindeer, one of them embellished with a glittery red nose. There was even more tinsel, which Carla and Ryan almost caused an accident with when they tried to wind it around one another, almost toppling over into the tree.

"Careful!" Michelle warned, though chuckled at the sight of the pair.

"You're the one who needs to be careful, can I smell burning?"

"Oh God!" Michelle suddenly dashed across to the kitchen, fiddling with the dial on the oven. She peered through the display window and let out a sigh of relief, looking smug when she realised her dish was completely unspoiled.

"What's she making?" Carla asked, continuing to sort through the decorations; tossing the broken ones into a smaller box which was to be thrown away.

"Some sort of lamb casserole, but she's tried to posh it up." Ryan shrugged, reaching up into the box with a grin and holding up what looked like a crumbling, stone star. "Hey! I didn't know you'd saved this!"

"It's not a casserole, it's lamb sauté." She corrected, tutting at her son as she took the decoration from him, smiling down at it fondly. He'd made it in nursery; stamped the shape out of salt dough and painted it silver once it had hardened, before going on to dump a load of glitter onto it. Most of it had fallen off now and the paint was flaking, but scratched into the back in large, shaking letters were the words TO MUM LOVE RYAN XXX. It hung from a piece of red ribbon and Michelle had hooked it onto every tree she'd ever decorated since.

"Well excuse me," Ryan rolled his eyes, shaking his head at her correction. "Seriously, what's wrong with bangers and mash?"

"This was one of the most popular dishes when I worked at the Bistro!" Michelle defended, seizing hold of the end of the Christmas lights that Carla had offered out to her, while she attempted to untangle the rest of the clumped up wire. "Here's an idea, maybe you could cook once in a while?"

"Why don't we put some Christmas music on?" Carla piped up quickly, before the two could start properly squabbling. Suddenly reminded, Michelle whipped around towards the other bedroom, as though expecting someone to emerge.

"We were doing that, Ali said he'd grab a speaker."

"Oh yeah, where's he got to?" Ryan frowned, taking a breath before bellowing across the room. "Oi, Ali?" When silence followed, he shouted again. "Alexander!"

Almost instantly, the Doctor appeared in the doorway, throwing a scowl in Ryan's direction. There was still a rift between them; Ali went about it by trying to ignore his presence as much as possible and Ryan's way of going about patching things up seemed to be by trying to wind him up.

"Don't call me that, you muppet." He frowned, placing the speaker he'd carried from the bedroom unceremoniously beside the television. Carla hadn't failed in noticing how drawn he looked, he was in a similar state to how Michelle had been only a couple of weeks prior; pale, a little too thin for his frame, his eyes sunken slightly. She glanced over to her fiancée, whose own were concerned and saddened at his withered appearance.

"I had to sort out the music, you don't half listen to some rubbish, Ryan." He rolled his eyes, fiddling the the buttons impatiently.

"Hey, I'm the musician. When I start lecturing you on the appropriate ways to treat gout, then we'll start chatting."

He offered nothing in response, just set the Christmas playlist to shuffle and flopped down on the sofa, peering disinterestedly into one of the boxes containing tree decorations.

Michelle had excused herself back to the kitchen to finish cooking, leaving Ryan and Carla to wrestle with the long rope of lights.

"We should have tested them first, what if we've just spent all that time putting them on and they don't work?"

Letting out a groan, Carla seized hold of the plug and mentally crossed her fingers when she slid it into the socket. The tree lit up magnificently, multi coloured lights twinkling within the branches and casting the corner of the room in rainbow hues. She clapped Ryan on the back, asking him to make a start on the baubles while she continued to plough through the box. Inconspicuously, Carla sauntered around the back of the sofa where Ali was sat, leaning in close so he'd be able to hear her over the overly joyous music.

"Hey, are you alright?" She spoke softly, lightly gripping his shoulders.

He gave a small nod, but didn't speak, he was clutching a tiny snow globe that he'd plucked from the cardboard box, staring at the flecks of snow which whirled over a miniature village trapped inside the glass. Absentmindedly, he flipped on the switch at its base and the minuscule windows lit up, bringing the fictional place to life.

"'Chelle's so excited that you're spending Christmas here, she's been going on about it for days." Carla informed him, pressing the side of her head against his. "She can't believe she finally gets to have a Christmas with you, y'know? It's a hard time, even harder this year but you being here is going to make her so happy."

He turned to face her, pleased by her words even though the half smile he managed didn't quite reach his eyes.

"We love you, even if you are the sulkiest so-and-so we've ever come across." She teased him lightly, planting a brief kiss to the side of his head before straightening herself up, tapping his shoulders encouragingly. "Come on, help us decorate the tree."

"Is it really a four person job?" Ali quipped, raising his eyebrow sceptically.

"No, it's a family job."

The tree had to be dragged a little away from the corner so they could all get around it and to no one's surprise, it was Carla who seemed to have the biggest obsession with ornament placement. She kept berating Michelle for placing too much of the same colour in one place and removed three of Ryan's embellished snowflakes straight after he'd placed them onto the branches before he sighed in annoyance and dusted his hands over her head, effectively shaking all the glitter that had come off the decorations into her hair.

Even after they all stood back to admire their work, she'd dipped from the line to rearrange a candy cane and adjust the filigree golden star that was, in her opinion, sagging slightly at the top of the tree. She shoved if further down onto the top branch, lodging it firmly in place which stopped its ominous wobble.

"This might be the best tree I've ever had, you've got a good eye for this kind of thing babe." Michelle commented, nodding impressively at what was easily the star of the show, completing the grotto that Michelle had transformed the apartment into. "You've always been good at that interior design stuff."

"Ah, yes," Ryan nodded sarcastically, trying to keep the grin from his face. "I suppose when you're in the knicker business, you're constantly thinking about folks' interiors." He sassed, having to duck quickly when Carla took a swipe at him.

"Er, are you missing that hospital food or something Ry? I can send you back if you'd like?"

IXIXIXI

"Do you think Johnny and Jenny will mind that we haven't gone to their Christmas Eve do?" Michelle asked, glancing up at Carla. She was stretched out across the sofa, head leaning against the other woman's chest while she stroked her hair absentmindedly. They were watching one of the many cheesy movie channels that seemed to surface around the time of year, but neither were taking much interest in the movie that was playing to itself. They'd been curled on the sofa together since both Ali and Ryan had put aside their differences for one evening to go out together. Michelle suspected that the former had only gone to drown his sorrows, but they seemed to be making headway's with him. He'd stated eating again and Ryan hadn't mentioned anything about hearing him wandering about in the night.

"I don't see why they would, we're going to their Christmas party tomorrow, aren't we?" Carla was absentmindedly toying with her hand, stroking along each of her fingers, turning it over so she could make gentle circles over her palm. The only light in the room came from the ones that were dotted around the window and drizzled around the tree. When she met Michelle's gaze, she could see the multicoloured stars reflected in them. She carried on staring, her hand leaving Michelle's and instead cupping the younger woman's cheek, brushing a gentle thumb over her her skin.

"What?" Michelle whispered softly, lightly biting on her lower lip. It was stained purple, the two of them had broken into the bottle of expensive Argentinian Malbec that Carla had purchased from Kate at the Bistro, which was currently being run by an acting manager; her sister had informed her that whoever had bought the place still hadn't bothered to grace them with their presence but had sent up someone who Kate described as a sanctimonious bimbo.

Michelle was still looking at her, studying her features as she waited for her to speak, trying to read her expression.

"I know we didn't get married, but, this is our first Christmas together, the first one of all the rest." She murmured, lightly tipping her chin. "I never expected it to feel so perfect."

The younger woman sat up, forgoing any kind of verbal response and instead pushing her lips up against Carla's, capturing them in a longing kiss. It deepened as she moved to straddle the older brunette, settling herself in her lap while the first brush of her tongue caused goosebumps to erupt down her arms.

Carla's hand tangled into her hair, holding her firmly into place as her hand crept down the front of the black satin night gown that Michelle was wearing. She should have known exactly what the younger woman's intentions had been for the night.

"Mm, 'Chelle-" Carla broke the kiss, ignoring her whimper of disappointment and instead uttering the word that eradicated the feeling completely. "Bedroom."

The last thing they needed was to be caught in the middle of the living room: nothing would spoil Christmas like a healthy dose of trauma followed by a new year stint in therapy, which is exactly what they would all need if anyone was to return home early. Michelle jumped to her feet and resumed kissing the other woman the moment Carla had got to her own, taking the lead and tugging her fiancée into their bedroom.

Carla felt herself being eased back against the pillows and her vision was obscured by a curtain of floral scented hair. Michelle's lips descended on her neck and she let out a soft gasp at the sensation, already able to feel a tightness in her stomach.

"Please, 'Chelle," Carla heard herself murmur, her muscles tensing when the younger woman's warm hand snakes beneath the hem of her vest top, trailing towards her chest. It was ridiculous, how amazing the intimacy between them was. There wasn't any hesitation, nerves had long gone and they just knew exactly what the other one needed. It always entranced Michelle, the way Carla would react to even the simplest of touches, all she had to do was lean down and brush her lips against that part of her collarbone and-

"I need you."

Those were her second favourite three little words that left Carla's lips.

Not for the first time, the older brunette wondered if they were actually in any real danger of receiving any sort of noise complaint. Although there hadn't been time to debate on it for too long because Michelle had ensured her focus was solely on the way she could use her mouth to draw out the waves of pleasure that erupted over her body and spiked every nerve ending. She had one hand fisted in the festive bedding that the younger woman had purchased and she was thinking it was a shame that they probably wouldn't be in any fit state to sleep in afterwards.

"You know," Carla panted, her hair fanned our against the pillow as she came down from the brilliant high. Michelle was beside her, half on her still, her arm wound around her waist, one of her legs hooked across her hip. "You're really good at that. Every time you finish I feel like I should give you a high five."

"Your pillow talk makes less sense the harder I make you-"

Carla cut her off with a kiss, a happy grin across her face when she pulled back. "I just mean, who'd have thought we'd be this good at it, like, we really do make a good team don't we?" Her eyes were bright, cheeks still flushed with the exertion of pleasure and strands of hair stuck to her face where her skin was damp with perspiration.

"Should I wait until your brain cells are less scattered to answer?" Michelle was struggling to contain her amusement, but she was completely besotted by this version of the other woman. She held her closer, her fingertips trailing along her side, the tip of her nail tracing patterns against her skin.

Carla murmured incoherently, dipping forward so that her forehead was leaning against Michelle's. "You had this planned from the start, didn't you?"

"You're going to have to be more specific, from the start of where? I promise you when we first met I wasn't thinking about how I was going to spend Christmas Eve of twenty-eighteen ripping off your clothes."

Carla let out a hum of laughter, coming to her senses slightly now that her head was drifting down from the clouds. "I mean from the start of tonight."

"You've got me there," Michelle admitted, inching closer to her, although there was barely any room between them. Her hand left Carla's side and she cupped her face, the pad of her thumb stroking a swooping crescent from her brow to her cheekbone. "I was thinking about it when we were wrapping presents, that's why I nearly sliced my finger off with the scissors. I was thinking about how ironic it would be to make you scream to 'silent night.'"

"Is that what you do? Just 'think' our sex life into existence?" Carla smirked, raising an accusatory eyebrow. "Is that how we ended up here in the first place? Were you just sat thinking about how you wanted to leap over the bar and ravish me?"

They both chuckled, the sound sleepy and content. Michelle continued to caress her skin, the look in her eye was causing the older brunette's heart to flutter. She'd spent years watching her love with everything she had but nothing had prepared her for how it would feel to be on the receiving end of it all.

"I've never known anyone as beautiful as you."

Carla swallowed, she'd felt the warmth of the words against her lips when Michelle had spoke them.

"I know someone." Mirroring the younger woman's actions, she reached out and held her cheek, her mouth a hairsbreadth away from Michelle's. It was quiet for a moment, until a very distant eruption of cheer sounded from somewhere outside. It was just after midnight.

"Merry Christmas," Carla whispered, their lips brushing slightly as she spoke.

"Merry Christmas, Carla."

IXIXIXI

"'Chelle,"

The younger brunette mumbled sleepily, turning away from the intrusion as she attempted to tug the duvet further over her shoulders, huddling into the warmth.

"'Chelle, come on, wake up." Carla called a little louder, hovering over her with a grin on her face. "Did I tire you out last night?" She took hold of the cover that Michelle has just pulled over her body and slid it down slightly, exposing her bare shoulder once more before leaning down to scatter kisses over her warm skin.

"Mmm, keep doing that and I might contemplate it." Her voice was hoarse with sleep, a sound she was familiar with but it still brought a fond smile to her lips, which she was now trailing over her neck.

"I've got something for you." Carla whispered, following the line of her jaw, until she was lingering by her mouth. "But you'll have to wake up to see what it is."

Michelle's eyes finally flickered open, blinking to get used to the dim light from the lamp Carla had switched on in her attempts to gently rouse her. She tilted her head slightly and her lips collided with the older brunette's, extracting her arms from the confines of the covers and pulling Carla over her. It was almost new again, morning's like this, they'd been few and far between over the recent weeks and Michelle never wanted to go that long without them again.

"Merry Christmas." There was a rustle as Carla broke the kiss and placed a gift back beside Michelle, she was sat up fully but still straddling the younger woman's body.

"Why don't you get under here with me and make it even merrier?" Michelle smirked, reaching out and trailing her hand down the fold of the dressing gown Carla had wrapped around her body. She was attempting to pull it apart, but the other woman stopped her, shaking her head in mock disapproval.

"You're very tempting," she began, stroking a fingertip down her chest, "but, unfortunately for both of us, I need you to get dressed."

Michelle raised her brow, peeling back the corner of the duvet and pulling the covers away from herself completely, despite the cold that suddenly assaulted her skin. "Are you sure?"

Carla swallowed visibly, battling with herself to keep her eyes fixed firmly on Michelle's, which were shining mischievously. Carla grit her teeth, mentally cursing her own weakness when they dipped down of their own accord, ignoring the triumphant little laugh that came from the other woman.

Carla distracted herself by picking up the gift bag once more and shook it at Michelle encouragingly. The other woman eye'd her suspiciously, dipping her hand into the red tissue paper.

"Put those on, I won't be a minute."

She left her on that, confused and rifling through the contents while she crept out onto the dark landing. Ali was awake, that's who'd woke her up in the first place. She could hear the taps in the bathroom and was pleased to see the gift bag she'd left for him and been opened, the contents removed from inside. About to tap on Ryan's door, he suddenly appeared from behind it, looking groggy, hungover, his hair sticking up on end. He was wearing a tattered t shirt and boxers, and Carla placed her hand on his chest to push him straight back into his room.

"Nope, get changed. Where's the present I gave you?"

"I can't wear that! I'll look like a right clown." He groaned, though he wasn't in any state to argue.

"No more than usual then." Carla smirked, pinching his cheek and easing him through the door again. Satisfied that they were all going to listen to her, she dipped back into her own bedroom and found that Michelle had finally dressed, looking completely perplexed.

"Oh you look adorable." The older woman's chuckle caused her to glance up sceptically from where she'd been grimacing at her clothing.

"Carla, are you feeling alright?" She frowned, clocking her fiancée's wicked grin once more. Michelle was dressed in red and white striped pyjamas, patterned with a festive fairisle print, snowflakes and reindeer printed across the strips in alternate colours. They were finished off with white cuffs which fitted them flatteringly to her figure and, even though she was currently turning her nose up at them, they were comfortable.

Without answering, Carla tugged at the tie of the long dressing gown she'd bundled herself up in and allowed it to slide from her shoulders. She suddenly wished she had a camera to snap the look on Michelle's face. The younger woman was still for a moment, her face frozen in a bemusement, mouth hanging open before she let out a howl of laughter, collapsing back down onto the bed.

"Carla!" Her fiancée was wearing the exact same pair, the cheesiest smirk across her face, nose scrunched as she moved to join Michelle, lightly placing herself in her fiancées lap while sliding her arms around her neck. She tried to contain her laughter for a couple of seconds in order to steal a kiss, but was still giggling even as they met.

"Come on, wait until you see the lads." Carla winked at her, sliding from her lap and taking her hands. It was still dark in the main room, so both women busied themselves in flipping on the Christmas lights. The sounds of two sets of doors opening caught their attention as Ali finally left the bathroom and Ryan emerged once more, somehow having managed to not pass out. They stopped short as they met one another, looking confused. Ryan's face was scrunched in disgust and when he caught sight of his mum and Carla on the sofa he jumped back in horror.

"No. No way!" He protested, while the two women hooted with laughter. Michelle actually had tears on her face, she was clutching hold of her sides and gasping for breath. Both of her sons were in the navy version of the pyjamas she and Carla had on and Ryan was glancing back towards the bedroom as though debating whether to dash back in. "This is ridiculous! You've gone soft in the head, Aunty Carla, and you," he paused turning to face Michelle, "have been watching way too many of those Hallmark movies." He was stood with his arms folded, looking like an overgrown toddler in his get up which if nything, made his rage all the more hilarious.

"They suit you both!" Carla nodded, shifting up so that they could also seat themselves. Ali was yet to protest about his outfit, he didn't look like he minded but then he wasn't looking particularly joyous. He played along probably for the sake of Michelle.

"Can we get a photo?"

"Is there an age restriction for Childline?" Ryan quipped, slumping down next to Carla with a surly frown.

In the end it was Ali who had to take the picture, his arms were the longest and they were all able to cram themselves into frame. Carla thanked him when he passed the phone back to her and she sent it to their family group chat.

"Hey, just wait until you see Johnny and Jenny!" She chuckled and as if on cue, her dad had sent his own photo in response to her message.

"Oh my God, did you get those?" Michelle gasped over her shoulder, covering her mouth with her hand. The photo contained a sleepy looking Johnny and Jenny, both of them dressed in stark red onesies that depicted them as 'Mr and Mrs Clause'. "No way did you get him to put that on!"

It was Kate and Rana's turn after that. Both striped leggings and green tops; two elves looking mildly amused at the camera. They all hunched over the chat for a moment, laughing over the family photos and wishing one another 'Merry Christmas'. It was only when Ryan reminded them that they had presents to open that they finally came away from the messages.

It was a bittersweet feeling, as Michelle busied herself in the kitchen, mixing champagne with breakfast juice to take to them all. As far a Christmas went, there'd been times on the Street where she hadn't at all felt like celebrating. But in that moment, in the decked out apartment with its hazy glow and the soft piano notes of carol's that played in the background, two sons and her fiancée balling up wrapping paper and throwing it to one another, her heart was conflicted. There was one heart that wouldn't be here this Christmas and she knew it was playing on Carla's mind too. She'd caught the other woman's wistful glances at the photo on the fire place; a candle next to the frame which had now been lit, it was as if she was nodding over to Aidan, trying to let him know he hadn't been forgotten. As if any of them ever could.

Ryan was sprawled out on the floor now, inspecting the expensive Bluetooth headphones he'd just opened in awe and Ali was distracted be the message he'd just received on his phone, a present half unwrapped in his lap.

"Hey, are you alright?" Michelle asked softly as she went to sit beside Carla, sliding an arm around her waist. She kissed the side of her head, lingering there for a moment before meeting her eyes, offering her a meaningful smile.

"Yeah, I'm okay. It's strange isn't it?" It might have been a vague comment, but she knew the younger woman understood. It always felt odd, odd that so much of their family was missing, odd that yet another year had gone by. Odd, in a good way, that they were spending this one together in a way they never had before.

"Yeah, it's strange." Michelle agreed, leaning in to capture her lips in a soft kiss. They simply watched at first, happy to sit close together, Carla's head against Michelle's shoulder, hands entwined, surveying the boys' reactions to the gifts they'd received. They'd collaborated that year, Ryan thanked them both for the headphones and Ali had abandoned his phone to unwrap the high quality, black leather briefcase; the one he'd used as a medical student had become worn. It was a reinforced message that the two had every confidence he'd qualify after completion of his training.

"You'll have to open those at the same time, they're the same." Michelle nodded to the neatly wrapped box in Ryan's hand, who rummaged through the pile and found the matching one, passing it to Ali.

"Ah, nice one!"

"We were fed up of hearing you bickering over you stealing Ali's aftershave." Carla teased, having bought them both a replacement bottle. "So now you've no excuse to argue, right?"

They shot one another a sceptical look, but didn't contradict her.

"Here," Michelle nudged Carla lightly, pressing a small box in her hands. It was wrapped in white paper decorated with silver snowflakes and had a silver bow on top.

"You already got me that necklace," Carla protested, but Michelle shook her head.

"That was a pre-wedding gift."

Carla unwrapped the gift neatly and when another jewellers box came into view, she wondered exactly how much Michelle had decided to splurge on her this time. There was a raised circular platform and wound around it was a delicate, silvery chain link bracelet, and weaved through it what looked like deep blue ribbon. Michelle was biting her lip and Carla couldn't understand why she looked so unsure until she reached beneath the cushion of the box and pulled out a photo. It was a fairly recent Polaroid, definitely one from within the last couple of years. Carla and Aidan with their arms around one another, grinning in the factory, probably after sealing a deal.

"I cleared the idea with Johnny, he really liked it," Michelle began, gently tapping the photo with her fingertip. "You see the tie he's wearing?"

Carla glanced at the photo again, it was difficult to pick up in the dim light but she could just about make out that it was dark against his pale shirt. Probably black or possibly deep-

Her breath hitched in realisation and she brushed her hand over the silky ribbon that was so intricately threaded around the jewellery. Tears sprang to her eyes before she could stop them and her throat began to ache, a huge wedge of emotion lodging itself right in her airways.

"Is it okay?" Michelle whispered, lightly resting her hand over Carla's which had started to tremble.

Almost fearfully, as though afraid to damage it in anyway, the older woman took the bracelet between her fingertips, taking in the detail, working out how the material had been looped through the white gold. It was becoming hard to see now through the blur of tears and she realised that Michelle was waiting on baited breath for her response. She looked up at her, opening her mouth to speak but found her voice cracking. Instead she fell against her, allowing herself to release the moisture from her eyes.

"It's perfect, it's perfect thank you so much." She sobbed, letting Michelle help her to position the bracelet safely in its box, along with the photo so that she couldn't spoil it with her tears. "That was so thoughtful." Carla managed to gulp, her chest still fluttering when Michelle swipes gentle fingertips beneath her eyes.

"I didn't mean to make you cry, darling." She spoke softly, her nose bumping into the older brunette's when she left a tender kiss on her lips. "I love you, so much."

"I love you, too." Carla offered her a watery smile, finally gaining some sort of composure and realising that she'd ended up having a meltdown in the middle of the living room, in front of everyone on Christmas morning. It hadn't mattered though, it warmed her in a way that nothing else could knowing that she could do so here, it was safe, it was okay. Ryan had shuffled through the array of wrapping paper to offer her a hug, which she accepted gratefully.

The pile was dwindling down now, after they'd all opened their fair share of stocking fillers; money envelopes, shirts, socks, perfume, the 'posh' moisturiser Carla liked to use every morning and the top that Michelle had fawned over for months in the high street before reluctantly walking by it each time. It was just as they were finishing clearing up the disarray of Christmas paper that Michelle felt a gentle tap on her shoulder. She'd assumed that Carla had needed a moment and that's why her fiancée had disappeared, but there was a definite sparkle of a different kind in her eye when Michelle turned around and saw a large gift bag swinging from her hand.

"Here, sit down," she instructed, beckoning Ryan and Ali over who looked just as excited as Carla did.

Confused, Michelle sat back down on the sofa and took the glossy paper bag that Carla was offering to her. She was taken aback at how heavy it was and gripped it with both hands, peering into it. She could make out a leather spine with a gold trim. Reaching into the bag to pull the book out fully, she flipped it over and knew instantly it was a photo album. It was so beautiful; she ran her hand over the embossed, tan cover, following the intricate patterns, the gold, metal border around the edge. There was a matching metal clasp to open it and her heart was ready thudding even before she'd turned over the first page.

The first photo's were of Michelle and Carla, during their school years. The former was dressed in a pristine uniform; knee length grey skirt, the collar of a pressed white shirt peeking over the top of her green school jumper. It was a photo she vaguely remembered, but was sure she'd remembered it in a worse quality. This photo was near enough perfect.

"Look at that hair!" Ryan laughed, pointing to the pristine pigtails that separated Michelle's glossy hair, secured with green and white gingham scrunchies. Carla looked relatively presentable herself, her jumper was slightly more tatty, but it was the first day of secondary school and she hadn't had a chance to muck it up too badly. Her own hair was parted down the middle and spilling over her shoulders, it was so long, she couldn't even remember having felt it all the way down her back.

"Hey, I was cute!" Michelle protested, laughing as she continued to flip through the pages. There were more photos of her and Carla, this time at a Halloween party. They were wearing the exact same outfit; fitted dresses, knee high boots and wings, only Michelle was in red and her wings were pointy, and Carla was stunning in white, the wings on her back feathery.

"Oh, the irony." Michelle smirked, tapping the halo fastened on top of a sixteen year old Carla's head, while her own had sprouted little red horns.

"Well, that's why we did it. It was funnier."

Carla laughed, absentmindedly twirling a strand of Michelle's hair around her finger. There were two more pages of photos from parties, both in various states of intoxication, one that was blurred when Michelle had ducked behind a wall to hide the fact she was smoking from Paul.

Then Michelle was stood on a pier, the sea's horizon in the background. Her hair was billowing around her face and she was wearing leggings and an oversized denim shirt, hand resting on the growing bump. The biggest grin was stamped across her face.

"Are you wearing dungaree's, Carla?" Ali pointed out, causing Ryan to splutter.

"Hey! They were all the rage back then." She was stood beside Michelle in the photo, holding candy floss that the younger woman had insisted she was craving but never ended up touching.

"Where was that?"

"Blackpool, I think. Paul had just got his first car, decided to take me, 'Chelle and Liam off for the day."

"Can we get to the good pages, yet? You know, where we enter your lives?" Ryan piped up, causing Michelle to lightly nudge him with her elbow. She was feeling slightly overwhelmed, she wanted to spend hours just basking in every memory. If she closed her eyes, she could almost feel how harshly the wind had whipped her face, remember how Carla had insisted she would ride the waltzer alone and then dashed into the toilet the second the right had stopped spinning.

"Are these the photo's you wanted us all to see?" Carla smirked, when the next page revealed Ryan in his early years, chocolate around his face while his father attempts to attack him with a wet wipe, hair spiked up with shampoo in the bath, one of him stood next to Liam, both their faces covered in shaving foam. She had to fight against her emotions herself, but it helped somewhat that she'd already seen the photos when picking them out, making her more immune to the shock that seemed to be hitting Michelle. Carla had worried at first it might be too much, but this was the longest amount of time she'd seen her fiancée smile for despite the fact that she was having to rapidly blink back tears.

For a split second, Michelle thought that somehow, some way, Carla had bizarrely got hold of Dean's baby photos; the brown haired baby with chubby cheeks that was sat on a picnic blanket in the garden looked so familiar. Michelle's head suddenly snapped up to look at Ali, who had been watching the realisation light up her face with a genuinely happy grin across his own.

"Ali! This is you!" She cried out, turning the page to reveal more of his younger years; his first day at school, grey shorts and grazed knees from an action packed summer. It was inevitable then, her face crumpled and she burst into tears.

"You owe me a fiver!" Ryan nudged Ali, who shot him a small frown at his lack of tact. At Carla's confused glance, he added. "We had a bet. Ali reckoned she could through the whole thing without blubbering. I said she wouldn't even get halfway."

"Boys!" Carla rolled her eyes, shaking her head at the pair of them as she slid her arm around Michelle's shoulders. "Are you alright, sweetheart?"

The other brunette gave a small nod, balancing the book across her lap so she could wrap both of her arms around Carla, her shoulders still trembling with the force of her sobbing.

"I'm just so happy."

"You're so happy?" Carla couldn't help but chuckle at her statement, especially as she could barely get the words out through her tears. Ali shuffled closer to where Michelle was sat, placing a tentative hand on her back while he peered more closely at the photo's he'd given to Carla when she had first approached him about the idea.

"This is beyond amazing. How long have you been working on this?" Michelle questioned, when she'd finally pulled away from her fiancée. Her breathing was still shallow, but she'd just about regained composure. She'd swallowed the remainder of her sobs, the need to continue flicking through the rest of the pages overthrowing the urge she had to continue crying.

"Since I moved in." Carla confessed, winding her hand back into Michelle's hair. "I had a few photos and then I asked Johnny and these two to gather as many as they could. I had someone restore the more damaged ones, they came out really well."

They were getting to the most recent days in the album now, although Carla had a feeling that Michelle would go back and pour over the earlier pages for hours once she had the tone to do so. It was something she'd done herself, but it had been so difficult without Michelle and she couldn't wait to go through their memories together. The last pages consisted of the ones taken in the restaurant; Ali and Ryan holding devil horns up behind a laughing Carla. Michelle had been right, it was frame-worthy. Unable to help herself, she brushed her fingertip over the other woman's grinning photo, she was so beautiful. In the final photo, Michelle was extremely grateful to herself that she'd dashed off into the Rovers Return toilets to reapply her make up, because she looked someone presentable, stood at the bar with Carla, grinning at the camera and showing off their engagement rings. It was the one Ryan had taken on the day they'd proposed.

"And there's one page left," Carla whispered, her lips right by her fiancées ear as she gently tucked her hair behind it. "For that event."

"Oh and look at that, we are right on cue!" Ryan tapped Ali's shoulder and nodded over to the coffee table. The doctor reached over and took Michelle's iPad, which had began to vibrate against the wood.

This time, Carla was just as confused as Michelle, the pair of them watching her two sons answer the call from Helen and Barry.

"We can't give you our present to you until you've spoken to Gran and Grandad." Ryan hinted.

"Merry Christmas!" A thick Irish accent emanated the speakers a split second before the faces of Helen and Barry appeared interview. "Ah, let's look at you all. Have you seen what they're wearing, darling? I'll be after a pair of those for us two!" Barry teased, causing Michelle, Ali and Ryan to turn to Carla, their eyes narrowing playfully at her.

They should have guessed her parents would call, they usually did at Christmas but they had seemed so busy this time around that neither had even thought to properly arrange the time for a call. Luckily, it seemed Ryan and Ali had been on the ball.

"Look what Carla got me!" Michelle suddenly gushed and it caused Carla to chuckle softly. She was like an excited child, holding up the photo album to show her parents. It took a while, because Helen insisted that she had to show her practically every page and Carla could tell Ryan was getting impatient.

"Ah, that's fantastic." Barry confirmed, gently bringing the topic to a close. "That was really lovely Carla, and we'll be wanting to see more of it when we see you in January-"

"January?" Michelle frowned and there was a scuffle from behind the screen.

"Barry!" Helen hissed, giving him a light tap on the shoulder. "We haven't said!"

"Said what? What's happening?"

Carla thought that might have been obvious; the two were clearly planning to come and visit during the New Year. She found that she didn't mind at all, now that Helen and herself had resolved the rift between them, having them here this time around might be a lot more pleasant.

"Boys have you got it?"

Following Helen's instruction, Ali handed an envelope to Carla, who was closer to him than Michelle was. She carefully slid her finger beneath the opening and pulled out a wad of paper, unfolding it and holding it out in front of her fiancée. They both stared at it blankly at first, picking out the words 'wedding' and 'confirmation' and 'congratulations' without taking any of it in.

"Johnny told us how disappointed you were when you had to postpone your wedding." Helen began, starting to explain their actions. "Especially after everything that had happened, how much you'd already planned. Jenny told us she overheard you and Carla discussing one of your clients venue's. She said you were both saying how beautiful it was."

Michelle nodded, remembering the client vividly. It was clear she would settle for nothing but the best for her wedding and the hotel that she'd chosen was magnificent, the sort of thing that one would envision having their fairytale wedding in.

"They had a space available for the end of January. Now, we know we might have gotten a little ahead of ourselves. But you can still use the same decorations, invites, dresses, all you'd need to do was choose a menu and confirm-"

"Are- Are you serious?" Michelle whispered, scanning the letter in Carla's trembling hands, having to take it from the other woman so she could read for herself what her mother had been saying.

"Like I said, you don't have to. We understand if it wasn't our place, but we, that is Johnny, Jenny, your father and I, we all thought we'd offer-"

Michelle turned to face Carla, who looked lost for words at the extremely grand gesture. They were doing it again, the ability they had to silently converse with one another. She met the hopeful, hazel hues in front of her and knew exactly what Michelle wanted to do. She knew because it was exactly what she wanted, too. If it had been possible, the older brunette was sure her heart might have burst right through her chest, it was beating so rapidly, so happily. She gave Michelle a confirming nod and the younger woman cried out in delight, her hands flying over her face.

"I can't believe this! I can't believe you've all done this for us!" Tears were rolling down her cheeks once more and Barry had a comforting arm around his wife, who had also given into her emotions. Both looked pained that they couldn't be there to comfort their family, to join in with the celebrations but seeing their daughter practically dancing around the apartment with happiness had made their Christmas. "Thank you, thank you so much!"

"Yeah, I second that," Carla nodded at Michelle's parents, her voice weak with shock and gratitude. "Seriously, Helen, Barry, thank you. For everything. I promise I'm going to make her so happy."

"We know that," Barry smiled at her kindly, the same one he'd always given to her. Helen was offering a sincere one of her own and Carla wondered if this is what Christmas truly felt like. It was going to be one she remembered for the rest of her life. "You're very welcome, Carla."

Carla might have cried herself, right in front of Michelle's parents, she could certainly feel her eyes filling up, but the younger woman seized hold of her and pressed a crushing kiss against her lips. She could feel the dampness from Michelle's cheeks against her own skin as she responded softly, weaving her hands into the younger woman's hair. Neither of them heard Barry clearing his throat, followed by his hearty chuckle. It was Ryan and Ali who jumped in to wish their grandparents a merry Christmas while the two women worked on trying to let one another go.

"Well we'll be seeing you all after the New Year. We'll be up a week before the wedding."

They bid their goodbye's, with Michelle thanking them once more for their generosity before the call ended. Both of them sat there, staring at the now blank screen, completely shell-shocked.

"Did you two know about this?" Carla asked, Ali and Ryan's sly grins confirming her suspicions.

"Of course we did, otherwise we wouldn't have been able to do this, would we?" Ali handed them another envelope and this time Michelle took it.

"We got you a two-night stay there." Ryan shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. "Kate and Maria will go down with you the night before the wedding, you can go for all that spa rubbish and then you both stay an extra night afterwards."

"You two!" Michelle shook her head, holding out her arms around throwing them around both of her sons, trying to hold as much of them as possible despite the fact that she was the tiniest of the three. She pulled back only to encourage Carla forward and she managed to squeeze herself in, wrapping her own arm around the two men who were gradually becoming almost closer than nephews to her as the weeks slipped by.

"I can still DJ, right?" Ryan's muffled voice sounded from over Michelle's shoulder and Carla laughed, laughed as she had done all morning. She couldn't imagine anything other than this, there wasn't a place in the world she thought she could belong any more.

IXIXIXI

Almost everyone in the Rovers was drunk. Johnny's two-for-one Christmas specials were entirely to blame. It might have looked like the typical Christmas party in a traditional pub; baskets of crisps, nuts and sausage rolls scattered along the bar and across tables, Mariah Carey's cheesy Christmas hit blasting from the duke box, overly cheery conversation of people who were already at the peak of intoxication and that one piece of mistletoe making its rounds that almost everyone was trying to avoid. But for the Connor's, this was family. This was all they could have hoped for after the year's events. Johnny had reserved them the best booth and was beaming over at his family with pride, as though he couldn't quite believe that everything was going to be okay, because thats how it felt now.

Carla and Michelle had flown at him and Jenny, thanking them profusely for their part in their overly extravagant Christmas gift. There were smiles all around as they joked about the Christmas nightwear Carla had forced them all into that morning and even though she was staying relatively sober, the factory boss was enjoying herself. She'd even chatted to some of her workers with genuine interest, until they'd all become too sloshed to be coherent.

"You look stunning, that top is gorgeous. Turn around again." Carla placed her hand on Michelle's shoulder, gently spinning her. It was a sparkly black number, short sleeved and the back of it consisted of nothing but black ribbon, criss-crossing down her back and tying at the base in a bow. It was the once she'd received earlier that morning, the one she'd been eyeing for weeks.

"Don't let my fiancée hear you talking like that." The younger woman grinned, turning back to face Carla with a teasing smile.

"The jealous type?" Carla played along, reaching out to twirl a strand of Michelle's curled hair.

"Not really. I mean, she has no need to be. She's beautiful and I'm completely in love with her."

Carla felt her cheeks heat up and the younger woman's smile widened as she dipped forward, pressing a swift kiss against her lips.

"Where's Ali?"

"Helping Johnny with more mixers."

There was a rattling sound as the two men appeared from the cellar, both of them clutching baskets of spirits in their hands. They wobbled dangerously, neither of the men were sober and Jenny hastened to grab the one her husband was holding before he caused an accident.

"Careful!" She scolded, shaking her head at the landlord who just grinned in response, taking the crate Ali was holding despite having just nearly dropped the last one.

"Sure you've got it?" Ali checked, sidling back around to the right side of the bar after Johnny assured him he was fine.

Although Michelle wasn't drunk, she'd had a little more to drink than Carla and as a result seemed a little more giddy than usual. She didn't mind at all, it was Christmas and the younger woman deserved to enjoy herself. Carla wasn't really missing it and it surprised her; she still felt the urge whenever she was particularly stressed, but when she was happy, surrounded by the people who she loved most in the world, two or three was more than sufficient. She was sure her liver was singing her praises. So wrapped up in her thought, she'd only just realised that poor Ali was trying to fend off her fiancée.

"-my gorgeous boy, aren't you? And you look even more gorgeous in your new shirt. Ooh I could squeeze you." She had his chin in her hand, pinching his cheeks while he scrunched his face, looking relatively embarrassed but not as horrified as he normally would have been. Maybe Michelle wasn't the only one who'd have slightly too much.

"Mum, seriously-"

"'Chelle, leave the poor kid alone." Carla swooped to his rescue, pulling the younger woman off him and brushing the flecks of glitter from the arm of his shirt.

"Where's Ryan got to?"

Carla glanced around the room, finally clocking him over Michelle's shoulder, wedged in the very far corner in a table almost hidden from view. The older brunette's eyebrows flew to her hairline, a small smirk forming across her face.

"Oh."

Michelle span around, her mouth falling open when she clocked eyes on her son, his lips firmly locked with those of Bethany Platt.

"Well I guess a kiss from his mum would be extremely uncool now." Michelle sighed, noticing that Kate was aiming her phone right at the oblivious duo, her nose wrinkled in amusement as she ignored Rana's jibes to leave her cousin alone.

"Oh I don't know, I really wouldn't say no to a kiss from his mum." Carla spoke softly into her ear, a sly grin forming across her face. Michelle was more than happy to comply, bringing her close and treating the entire pub to the scene, allowing the kiss she delivered against her lips to lingering a lot longer than the last had.

"I've got one more thing for you to unwrap when we get home," Michelle thought she was whispering, though she had to make sure Carla could hear her over the machinists rendition of Fairytale of New York. She took hold of Carla's hands and placed them around her waist, making sure they were situated over the bow at the bottom of her back. "Me."

Carla looked up at her, her eyes looked darker at her words, the tip of her tongue peeking out to wet lower lip as her brain whirred to formulate a response. She was just about to open her mouth to do so when Jenny cut in.

"Eww, no, we can't be having that." She grimaced, dipping her hands into the ice tray and flicking them at the two women, showering them in water droplets. "Cool off!"

"Oh they need restraining from one another, those two, when they're in that mood." Kate had joined them at the bar, placing herself and Rana's empty glasses on the surface and ordering the same again. Carla admired the bracelet that was fastened around Kate's wrist, almost identical to the one Michelle had got for her, but the ribbon was red. Johnny had loved the idea so much that he'd asked Michelle if she would mind if he gifted one to Kate. Of course his niece hadn't minded at all and had even assisted him to the jewellers. Michelle had told Carla how he was uncertain at first of whether he could bring himself to leave another one of his possessions with a stranger to intentionally destroy, but decided the red Christmas tie would only remain in storage otherwise.

"Nuts?" Carla was snapped out of her thoughts once more my Jenny, who was shaking a bowl of dry roasted at her.

"What- Oh, no thanks. I'm stuffed."

"That's because she bought a turkey big enough to serve ten for the four of us." Michelle rolled her eyes, though there was still a sickeningly adoring expression across her face as she studied her fiancée. "I could barely get it in the oven! We'll be eating it until Easter!"

"It was the only one left!" Carla defended, picking up one of the nuts and throwing it at the younger woman. "I didn't fancy trying to wrestle the other one out of Evelyn's hands, the daft old bat was using a walking stick to fend everyone off."

Kate spluttered with laughter, even Michelle, who had heard the story a couple of days when Carla had stumbled into the apartment looking harassed, hair teased around her face, couldn't help but let out a small chuckle, moving to rest her hands over Carla's.

"I can't believe this year is almost over. I can't believe I'm going to be getting married. To my person. The yin to my yang." Michelle mused, shaking her head in disbelief. "This year has been so hard, it truly has and I couldn't have got through it without you."

Whether it was drink or Michelle's words, Kate's eyes had filled with tears, her hand resting against her chest as she watched the older duo embrace one another. Having overheard their conversation, Johnny gave a nod to his wife, who reached up and rang the bell. Ali had the sense to walk over to silence the jukebox and a hush fell over the pub.

"Thanks," Johnny nodded in the general direction of his punters. "I'm really glad that so many of you decided to join us to celebrate Christmas, I hope you've all had a good evening."

He was met with a scattering of applause and cheer. Ryan had managed to tear himself away from Bethany and had joined his family by the bar. Jenny was making her way around the customers with trays of champagne that she'd been pouring into glasses in preparation for Johnny's speech and Sean had wriggled from his own seat to help her delegate the drinks.

"This time of year can be hard, especially for those of us who have lost. Another year without absent friends and family, another year where not everyone we loved made it." His voice wavered slightly, but he cleared his throat determinedly. Michelle reached out and gripped Carla's hand on her own, lacing their fingers together. "This year I'd be so grateful if you could join me in raising a glass to my son, my Aidan. And all of our absent family and friends, who we miss just that little bit more on this day."

There was a chorus of Aidan's name as everyone raised their glass, followed by another round of applause. Carla was swiping her hands over her cheeks, giving Michelle a reassuring smile when the younger woman looked at her in concern.

"I'm okay," she whispered, though accepted her embrace anyway, the warmth of it would never not be a comfort.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm positive. Are you?" Carla checked, stroking her finger down her fiancee's cheek.

"I'm okay."

That seemed to be the theme; Johnny and Jenny wrapped in an embrace, sad smiles across their faces, they were alright; Kate was buried into Rana, there were tears on her cheeks, her eyes were being but her girlfriend was stroking her hair, murmuring reassuringly to her, she'd be fine; Ali and Ryan were nodding to one another, maybe they weren't friends again just yet, but maybe they weren't a lost cause, they'd be okay; Carla still missed her brother terribly, she knew Michelle was going through the exact same as herself, she allowed her head to rest against the younger woman's chest and whispered own reassurances. Glancing around at their family, the people who were left, the people that had become part of it and filled a little of the gaping holes, she knew that parts of them would always be just a little bit broken. This year had taken everything out of them, emotionally, mentally, and they were about to be thrown unknowingly into another one and she didn't know what they might have to face. But, as she stood in the warmth of that pub, surrounded by laughter, singing, by glittering lights and an explosion of tinsel, felt the very faint beating of Michelle's heart against her ear, she knew one thing; whatever it was, they'd be okay.

A/n: I took a risk with this double-chapter because I worried readers would get bored halfway through or it may be tedious, hopefully that wasn't the case!

Wishing you all a wonderful holiday! Merry Christmas (if you celebrate) and have a fantastic New Year! Thank you for allowing me to use a ton of artistic licence on your fav characters and for all the support!

Coming up next: The bells may be ringing out for more than Christmas Day...