Chapter Twenty-Six
The Sergio Leone Replication
"Okay, so what did you think of my mom?" Amy asked as they began their hour-long drive back home the Sunday before Halloween.
"She's…nice," Erik began, choosing his words carefully. Meeting Amy's mom answered so many questions about her painful childhood. Still, he went in expecting the mother from Carrie but found a somewhat pleasant woman who seemed deeply suspicious of Erik's intentions with her daughter. But the couple was approaching their mid-thirties, so she was probably correct on those intentions. Erik thought some more. "And she's a great cook," he added truthfully.
"She always has been," Amy said. "You know, you're the first guy I ever brought home."
"Really?" asked Erik, surprised. "You were with Sheldon for five years, and they never met?"
"Well, they met over Skype," Amy said. "But he never obnoxiously insisted, like you." Amy glared at Erik, but her lips revealed a smile.
"My parents are incredibly excited to have you coming up for Thanksgiving," Erik said, thinking about the week they were going to have in his hometown. He'd show her the beach, his high school, maybe, if the weather wasn't terrible, Benji could take them out on his boat. They'd drive up to the lighthouse at night, take Honeybee out on the beach to play in the sand.
"I have to admit, I'm nervous to be heading to Koster central. What if they don't like me?" Amy worried.
"Not possible," he said. "Plus, Jess already gave you a passing grade. And they trust Jess' opinion far more than mine, you know, me being the baby of the family and all."
"Only a passing grade. Not, exceeds expectations or superior?"
Erik began laughing. "She adores you. Benji too. And so will my parents."
Amy sighed. "It'll just be nice to have the week off together. With the university shut down and the following the week before finals, I'll enjoy everything being low key for a change."
"Yeah, I hear you. This next week will be hell," he said. "Christmas campaign due. But I think the product turned out better than Halloween."
He glanced over to see his girlfriend smiling. She leaned over to kiss him. "I'm so proud of you, sweetie."
"How will the monkeys fair when we're gone?" Erik asked.
"We'll be between phases in the study, so we've hired a caretaker to come in," Amy said. "Nice to have money to do something like that."
"And support the local primate business," Erik laughed, thinking about Amy's job and his own. Her working in a lab with primates studying addiction, him working in the happiest place on earth, a fantasy world. Definitely not typical. Their children would certainly grow up in an interesting household….whoa, Erik, he thought. Getting a little ahead of yourself. He cleared his throat. "Well, I'm just glad I got extra vacation days with the promotion. Plus, most of my department is taking the week off. We're not needed like the ride operators or characters."
"We all ready for Saturday night?" Amy asked.
"Yeah, just got to find a dog-sized cowboy hat for Honeybee," he said. "Think we'll win the costume contest?"
"I don't know," Amy said. "It's not a typical couple or group costume. But I like it. I think it reflects us, something we both love. And you look really sexy in that black hat. One of those dangerous gunslingers who kicks open the door of the saloon and challenges someone to a duel at noon in the center of town. Or who flips the poker table after accusing the good guy of cheating."
"So I'm the villain?" Erik asked, a fake pout on his lips.
"Yeah! I'm the Good, you're the Bad, and Honeybee is the Ugly," she laughed. "Although, aside from the poncho and hat, I don't think I look much like Clint Eastwood."
"I'm very thankful for that, babe," Erik chuckled. "Would make things very different in bed."
The couple continued to chat all the way back to their apartment, excited about the next weekend and approaching holiday season.
The week before Halloween did prove to be a very busy one for Erik and Amy. Both worked long hours, and Amy spent a lot of her time trying to smooth over some personality conflicts on a dissertation committee she chaired. Her student was set to present right before the holiday break, and a personal conflict between two faculty members left the student caught in the middle. Amy spent hours dealing with the student's frustrations and eventual tears before finally confronting the culprits personally, playing the "students before personal disputes" card. So when Halloween, blessedly on a Saturday, arrived, she was ready to let the week's problems disappear into the past.
Erik worked until after midnight the night before, so he slept until noon, much to Amy's dismay, who wanted to get the day started. He was a night owl, she an early bird. Somehow they seemed to meet in the middle. They grocery shopped in the afternoon, ate an early dinner, and now were preparing to get into their costumes.
Sitting on the couch already dressed with Honeybee, Erik waited patiently for his girlfriend, who booted him from their bedroom, claiming she needed a few minutes alone. Staring at herself in the mirror, Amy began to think her purchase from a month ago was a bad idea. After Erik mentioned her getting the Princess Leia bikini from Star Wars for their couple costume, Amy found it online. She was thinking about surprising him after the party, putting it on under her The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly costume. Looking at herself in the mirror now, wearing just the bikini, she felt ridiculous. She could not pull this off.
Erik's knock on the door startled her. "Hey babe, you okay? Need help with the holster? I had a devil of a time with mine."
"No, um, just need a moment to…" she paused, trying to think of something he hated. Oh yeah. "I'm clipping my toenails."
"Ugh, okay, I'm turning up the television. Hocus Pocus is on. Total blast from the past," Erik said.
Amy laughed, knowing Erik could not stand the sound of nails being clipped. She'd bought herself a couple more minutes. Glancing back at her reflection, she sighed. What's the worst that could happen?
"Oh, what the hell," she shrugged, pulling on her brown pants, long sleeve linin shirt, vest, topping everything off with the classic Clint Eastwood poncho, the only thing they needed to special order. She emerged from the bedroom, and Erik stood up to admire her costume. He looked sharp in Lee Van Cleef's classic look, black slacks, white shirt, black tie, black jacket, topped off with a black hat. Amy put on her holster, and grabbed her fake gun. She looked down to laugh at Honeybee, sporting a doggie poncho and a cowboy hat.
"I feel bad making Honeybee the Ugly," Amy giggled as she and Erik pulled on their boots.
"She's a cute ugly," he said, adjusting his holster and weapons. "Hey, cowboy boots are actually pretty comfortable."
The party began at 8:00 p.m., and Amy, Erik, and Honeybee arrived about 8:15, parking a block away.
"Wow, the street is packed with cars," Amy said. "This should be really good for his business."
"His past shop burned down, right?"
"Yes," said Amy, feeling the urge to tell Erik about her surprise, gauge his interest. "So, um, remember when we were talking about different couples costumes, and we talked about Han and Leia from Star Wars."
"Yeah."
"So, I bought the Leia bikini."
Erik stopped walking and looked at Amy.
"Yeah?"
"And, um, I'm wearing it now."
Erik stared at Amy, and after several moments she began to feel nervous. Finally, he grabbed her arm and turned them toward the car.
"What are you doing?" asked Amy, confused.
"Taking you home so we can have sex. Right now," he said, his voice filled with determination.
Oh my, thought Amy, feeling aroused. That's a good reaction. But the party…
"Erik, we can later. Let's go to the party," Amy said, pulling him back toward the comic shop.
Her boyfriend walked with her, but said in a mock angry voice, "Woman, you can't tell a man you are wearing the Leia bikini, the number one fantasy for guys of my generation, and not show him."
Amy giggled, and stopped for moment to kiss him. He pulled her to him, snaking his arms around her body, his tongue plunging into her mouth, taking her breathe completely away. He finally brought his mouth to her ears and whispered, "I want you. Now, Amy. Please."
Hoo, thought Amy, but she still pulled him into the shop.
Stuart had loud music going, areas set up for dancing and food. The place was crowded already, and Amy felt happy for Stuart, since admission to the party was $30 per person. She hoped he would begin to enjoy some success for once.
The couple saw Bernadette and Howard first, dressed like the Frankenstein monster and his bride. Amy knew they always enjoyed dressing up for Halloween, and Amy heard some stories from Bernadette about them dressing up in the bedroom as well. Judging from Erik's reaction to her bikini confession, Amy felt certain this was something they needed to visit.
"Hey, the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly," said Howard, petting Honeybee. "Great idea. I know you guys love your westerns, and that's super clever. You still won't win the contest."
"And you think you will?" Amy said playfully to her friend.
"This is classic Halloween. You two aren't even scary," Howard snapped, grinning.
"Come on, Amy, give Howard some credit," said Erik, turning to smile at his friend. "It takes balls to dress like a character who is literally two feet taller than you."
Everyone laughed, including Howard. "A comeback escapes me at the moment. But it's coming," Howard said.
"Raj and Laura are here too." Bernadette pointed towards the dance floor. The new couple danced, both rather badly, her dressed like an angel, Raj like a devil. "They seemed to really hit it off. Nice work, Erik."
"Leonard and Penny? Sheldon?" asked Amy.
Bernadette just shrugged, and they were all soon joined by Laura and Raj.
"Ohh, Erik, is this the famous Honeybee," Laura said, scooping up the dog. "I just love dogs. I have three, and they all get along so well with Raj's Cinnamon." She turned to Amy. "And you're Amy, right? Erik talks about you constantly. It's both obnoxious and cute." She shook the grinning Amy's hand.
Amy talked with her friends for several minutes, when suddenly Erik pulled his phone from his pocket, looking a little silly dressed like a gunslinger using a smart phone.
"Is there a private place I can make a phone call?" he asked the group.
"Stuart has an office in the loft, but he keeps it locked. He has an original Batman comic signed by Bob Kane up there," explained Howard. "Just ask him for the key."
Erik disappeared, and Amy continued to chat. After several minutes though, she started to feel concerned. Was something wrong? Maybe his family? She turned to Raj and Laura.
"I'm worried about Erik," she said. "Do you mind watching Honeybee while I check on him?"
"Not at all," said Laura, as she and Raj took a seat.
Amy walked up the stairs and down the small second floor hallway. There were only two rooms, one clearly a bathroom, probably for employees. She faced the other door and turned the knob, finding it unlocked.
The room had a desk with a computer and a table with merchandise, catalogs, and order forms. Erik sat in the desk chair, his back to her. Amy closed the door behind her.
"Erik, what's going on?" she asked, confused.
Erik slowly turned the swivel chair around, and said in his best old west accent, "This town ain't big enough for the both of us."
Amy began laughing at how ridiculous he looked.
"Okay, so I was going for western, but I now feel this is a bit Godfather, don't you?" he said.
"So no emergency?"
"Hell yes, there is an emergency," Erik said. "I need to see that bikini. Now."
Amy was both shocked and incredibly turned on. "Oh my God, Erik, we're in public. This is Stuart's office! We can't do this."
"Amy, you're killing me here," he pleaded. "We haven't been together all week. And we won't be interrupted. Stuart gave me his key. Just lock the door."
Amy stared at her boyfriend, biting her lip. She wanted him too, but this was a public place. Okay, not so public. And just thinking about it excited her.
"We can't be too long," she said quietly.
"Oh, trust me Amy, we won't. I'm kinda already half way there," Erik said, leaning forward, waiting to see what she'd do.
Amy locked the door. She turned back around to face his hazel eyes, gleaming with anticipation. She stood in the middle of the office and began to remove her clothes, starting with the poncho, and continuing with her boots, vest, pants, and shirt. She finally stood in just the bikini and her cowboy hat.
Erik stood up and removed his holster, setting it, with the guns, on a stack of The Walking Dead graphic novels. Watching him do that brought up images of some of her western fantasies, except instead of the back room of a saloon, they were in the back room of a comic book shop. She felt very aware of the large group of people downstairs, and this awareness heightened her arousal.
"Erik, this is kind of crazy," she said. "I've never done anything like this before."
He walked toward her and stood just a foot away, his eyes looking her up and down. "Me neither. But it's kind of exciting," he said. "God, Amy, you are so beautiful. I need you now. We'll just need to be quiet."
Erik pulled her to him, her almost naked body pressed against his. His kisses moved down her as his hands cupped her breasts, thumbs caressing her nipples. Amy threw back her head and moaned as he kissed and licked, her senses intense. When he got to her thighs, he began fingering her sensitive spot as he moved down to her calves, his other hand grasping and squeezing her behind.
"Ohhh, Erik," she cried out before throwing a hand over her mouth. She needed to be quiet.
Erik stood up and began to fiddle with his tie, and Amy grabbed his hand. "This stays on."
Her boyfriend's grin spread quickly across his face before he slipped his fingers into the bikini bottom and began to pull it down. "Okay, but this doesn't."
Amy stepped out of the bottom and began working his belt and zipper, all the while deeply kissing him, the excitement of their rather dangerous situation only increasing the pleasure she felt. When he was out of his pants and boxers, seeing his erection made her wetter. She lay down, her poncho underneath her. Instead of entering her, which she expected and craved, he moved down to her clitoris and kissed her there, letting his tongue play the area for a brief moment. Amy gasped loudly at his unexpected move, feeling tears come to her eyes as a pleasure she had never felt before washed over her. She began to moan and grind softly against him when he continued down to her vagina, running his tongue along her opening.
Amy's orgasm overtook her, and she grabbed Erik's shoulders. He moved up her body, his penis entering her smoothly, since both were more than ready. Erik moved to sit on his knees, pulling her up with him. He was deep inside Amy, thrusting and groaning, as she moved up and down on him. When she reached her climax, she buried her face in his neck to keep from crying out, grateful for the deep bass music coming from the party below. When she felt his warm wetness fill her, she squeezed her legs around him, pressing herself to him, trying to make the feeling last. Finally, they both stopped moving.
"Amy?"
"Hmmm?"
"Pardon my language, but that was fucking hot," he said, his face buried in her breasts.
"Oh yes."
"Was it okay that I did that? I know we haven't talked too much about, you know, oral things," he mumbled into her.
"Yes, Erik, it was more than okay," she leaned back to look at him. "Can I maybe, you know, try something with you, sometime?"
"Yes," he laughed. "I've never, well…"
They both put their foreheads together and laughed quietly at their familiarity and embarrassment.
"We should probably get back to the party," he said, as they quickly disentangled and got dressed.
Amy glanced at the time. They'd only been away for ten minutes. Nobody would notice, right?
"Hey, is this Stuart's work?" asked Erik, as he made final adjustments to his costume. He began flipping through a portfolio of drawings.
"Yeah, he's pretty good," Amy said.
"He could totally work for one of the galleries in Downtown Disney, doing alt Disney art. People like that stuff, and Disney supports it, within reason of course."
"You should talk to him," said Amy, adjusting her holster and putting on her hat.
They rejoined the party, moving to see what the food table had to offer. Amy looked around to find Penny, Leonard, and Sheldon but didn't see them yet, only Bernadette approaching her with all knowing grin.
"You enjoy your little rendezvous?" Bernadette said playfully.
Amy felt herself blush. "Oh my God, is it obvious?"
"No, the set up was good," she said. "But I know you, Amy. And I can't wait to tell Penny. Hey, there they are!"
Amy watched her friends walk in, Penny and Leonard once again not in couples costumes. She was dressed as a sexy witch, Leonard as a Jedi. Sheldon wore his Spock costume she'd seen before. He'd told the group the previous week he's wear it in honor of Leonard Nimoy. She smiled thinking about the sweetness of his reasoning before turning to grab a soda. She was quite thirsty from her and Erik's little tryst.
While Sheldon enjoyed seeing everyone in their costumes, he did not enjoy parties. And why would he? Parties were all about being social, and he disliked being social. After necessary mingling, he found a seat in the corner, waiting for the 10:30 costume contest. Sipping on a diet soda, he found Amy and Erik. They'd greeted each other when he came in, but the myriad of people soon separated them. Erik seemed in deep conversation with Stuart, who looked excited for a change. Amy, clutching Honeybee, glanced in Sheldon's direction, smiled, and walked over.
"Hi Sheldon," she said. "May I join you?"
"Of course, Amy," he said, appraising her outfit. "I like your costume. A good choice for you, Erik, and the dog. I watched a lot of spaghetti westerns growing up. Sergio Leone is one of Meemaw's favorite filmmakers."
"I like your costume as well," she answered. "You guys were an hour late. What's up?"
"Leonard texted me they'd be over in five minutes, but they didn't arrive for another thirty," explained Sheldon, staring out into the crowd. "I suspect pre-party coitus."
Sheldon turned around to see Amy's face a bright shade of red.
"Are you okay, Amy?" Sheldon asked. "Do you need something to drink? Or maybe it's that wool poncho. It is a bit warm in here with all these people."
"I'm fine, Sheldon," she said, seeming to stifle a smile. Interesting. "Sorry to cancel our lunch yesterday. Trouble with one of my grad students."
Sheldon scoffed. "That's why I don't accept grad students and never work on any doctoral committees, much less chair one."
"Does anyone ever ask?"
"No," Sheldon said proudly. "They know better."
"Sheldon, if you hate teaching and working with students so much, why don't you work in the private sector?" Amy asked. "There's probably more money there."
Sheldon thought about this too. He'd received a couple offers over the years, but he felt comfortable at the university. Could he move to another place, outside his routine? He certainly wasn't one for taking risks.
"Your dark matter theory is going to be huge, Sheldon," Amy continued. "A lot of people are going to notice. You'll probably receive some offers. Maybe you should consider them." Amy paused. "Have you thought about hiring a publicist, you know, if this turns into something monumental?"
"Are you implying I'm not good at speaking to the general public," Sheldon said, frowning at her.
"Yes, that's exactly what I'm implying," she smiled.
Sheldon sat silently for a moment. A publicist would definitely be something to consider. He didn't want to come off wrong, which happened to him quite a bit. He glanced over at Amy. She was so smart and caring, and she looked rather cuddly in that wool poncho. He felt the sudden urge snuggle up to her, but began to cloud his mind with other things to avoid such thoughts. Spock. Dark matter. Sasquatches.
"So, the basketball game is Tuesday. You excited?" Amy asked.
"Yes and no," Sheldon began. "Yes, because I've never participated in a sporting event before. No, because I still haven't mastered most of the skills."
"Erik says you're a really good shooter," Amy said. "You'll be fine. I'm proud of you for trying something new. In fact, with this theory, the positive way you've been acting around everyone, and belonging to this sports team, you've changed a lot these past few months. If you don't mind me saying…" her voice faded out.
"Please," Sheldon said, now staring intensely at Amy, very curious what she had to say. Was she thinking about dumping the photographer and returning to him?
"You've become a better…a more well-rounded person," she said, then stopped. "Not that you weren't good before, Sheldon. I mean, this is all socially, what I'm talking about."
Sheldon looked down and studied his soda can. "You dissolving our relationship got me thinking." He paused, not believing he was saying these things to her. But the words suddenly came out. Word vomit, Penny had once called it. The perfect description. "I was not a good friend. I was not a good boyfriend. I didn't listen to you, I didn't fulfill your emotional and physical needs. You were patient with me, I was caustic to you. I'm sorry you wasted five years of your life with me."
Silence hung in the air between them for several seconds. He finally looked at Amy. She appeared shocked.
"Those five years were hardly a waste," she said. "I got to know you, I made friends, actual real friends, which I never had before. Just because our relationship failed does not mean it was a waste of time. Being your girlfriend is one of the most valuable experiences of my life. You've made me a better person."
Sheldon didn't know what to say. He'd found his relationship with Amy valuable as well. He just wished he could show it better.
"Sheldon, I know we talked about this before, but I'll say it again. We just are not compatible romantically. And that's okay. We weren't meant to be," Amy said, now looking directly at Sheldon. "I've found someone I'm very happy with." Her voice got quieter as she looked at Erik, still talking to Stuart. "I think he's the one." She glanced back at Sheldon. "And if I hadn't asked for a break, took a walk that day, tackled this animal," she rubbed Honeybee on the head. "Well, I don't know."
"Chain of reactions," Sheldon said, understanding completely, wishing he hadn't been the catalyst.
"Have you thought about pursuing another romantic relationship?" Amy asked.
"Yes, because ours worked out so well," laughed Sheldon.
"Impressive use of sarcasm," Amy said.
"Thank you. I am getting better," said Sheldon. "Amy, you know all those romance things made me uncomfortable. The touching, the sharing of feelings. That hasn't changed. My body wants one thing, my brain wants something else. And my brain overrides my biology every time. And I want it that way."
"Well, I know this isn't logical, but I think love often doesn't fall under logic. You should leave your heart open to possibilities," said Amy. "The metaphorical heart, of course."
"Someone else told me the same thing recently," Sheldon said, thinking about Glenn, his love for Sally. "But I doubt I will ever be in a romantic relationship again. If I couldn't make things work with you, with all your kindness and patience, my almost intellectual match, who else could there be out there? And quite frankly, I'm not interested in being plummeted down a spiral of confusion and discomfort again." He paused, realizing he might have hurt Amy's feelings. "I meant no offense."
Amy gave Sheldon a gentle smile. "None taken. I just want you to be happy."
"I am," he said, partially telling the truth. He was thrilled about his theory, but still felt a bit empty. He needed a hobby to get him through this unbearable waiting period. He had basketball. Maybe he could take up an instrument. Dabble in another science. Develop a new role playing game. Write a science fiction novel or a screenplay to submit to J.J. Abrams. Research private industry opportunities, as Amy suggested.
The couples/group costume contest began. Sheldon smiled when Amy, Erik, and Honeybee won second, while a group Sheldon didn't know, dressed as the Guardians of the Galaxy, won first. And rightfully so; their Groot was very impressive. Sheldon, Penny, and Leonard, entering the individual contest, did not stand a chance against one of Stuart's employees dressed like Nosferatu. The make-up alone looked like it took hours, and the man was terrifying.
As the party began to dissipate, and Sheldon walked out with his friends, he purposefully met pace with Amy.
"Thank you, Amy," he said, finally gathering the courage to say what he'd been unable to earlier. "For the five years. For believing in me. For making my life better."
Amy smiled, tears in her eyes. "You're going to do amazing things, Sheldon," she said. "I really can't wait to see what's going to happen next for you. Good night."
She turned down the street where Erik's Mustang was parked, taking her boyfriend's hand. Sheldon watched them go before catching up to Leonard and Penny. Sitting in the backseat on the way home, Amy's final words repeated over and over in his head, only this time in the form of a question: What was going to happen next for him?
Author's Note: Thank you for following my story. I really appreciate all the reviews and feedback. Please continue to send me your thoughts!
In the next chapter, the boys play basketball, Erik and Amy head to their Thanksgiving with his family, and Sheldon does something crazy.