Chapter 26

Since Laura had to be at work at 6 a.m. Mike's first day back they both left the house at the same time. Mike followed Laura's advice and stopped to get a good breakfast on his way to work and read the paper but still arrived at the station before his Captain.

Quickly getting into uniform Mike then waited outside the office waiting for his requested check in. He had managed to sit on the front bumper of the engine and was reading a library book he'd brought with him when Hank came around the engine from the locker room.

Taking a moment to look over Mike's shoulder he noticed that Mike was reading a book about pregnancy and when Mike noticed he was there and looked up it was clear there was a need to talk before the shift started.

"Everything okay there buddy?" Hank greeted.

"Yeah, yeah, just great," Mike lied.

"Uh hu," Hank gave that, I can see right through you, look and a smile. "Can you hang in there while I get the report on the last shift and then we can talk?"

"Sure," Mike answered, "I'll just wait right here." Hank moved into the office to meet up with the previous shifts captain and Mike turned back to his book or at least tried.

"Well if it isn't Mike Stoker," he heard from his predecessor currently on shift. "I hear you spent some time in the hospital last shift, it's good to see you back among the living."

"Yeah, it was no big thing, they just kept me till my wife got off shift that's all." Mike responded blushing at the remembrance of why he was at the hospital.

"So what did ya have just the twenty four hour flu bug?" Ryan Murphy pressed for information.

"Something like that," Mike lied, this was the big issue he needed to talk with his captain about this morning, nothing to do with Laura's pregnancy but everything to do with what to tell the guys and how to make sure they could trust him to do his job today.

"Hey I've been hearing rumors about some additions to the Stoker household, any truth to them."

"Yeah," Mike smiled, ever so grateful for a change in topic even if it wasn't a real change in topic, the other guy thought it was and that was good enough for Mike. "My wife is expecting twins, identical twins."

"You'd never know it to look at her," Dwyer one of the outgoing paramedics said, "She was working on the guy we hauled in this morning and you'd never tell she's pregnant to look at her."

"She's not quite three months along at this point."

"Wow and you already know you're having twins?" Dwyer, whose wife was five months along with their third child questioned.

"Yeah, when we had our first appointment and they listened for the heartbeat, things sounded a little off so they did the first ultrasound then," Mike chatted, he was okay with that, not quite ready to give out a lot of detailed information just yet but he wasn't surprised that the news was getting out and that meant there would be questions and comments.

"Mike I'm ready for you now," Hank called from the office noticing his second in command was surrounded by the previous shift and looking rather nervous. He had been just slightly worried about Mike when he first saw him that morning and had rushed through report to make time for him. Now the relieved look on his face as he stepped into the office and shut the door behind him had him wondering If Mike was really ready to come back to work.

"Are you sure you're ready to come back to work?" Hank questioned with a real serious tone to his voice.

"Yes sir." Mike stood at attention. "I'm just not comfortable giving out a lot of details to the other guys not on our shift yet," Mike loosened his posture and looked down at the floor. "I guess I'm kind of scared of saying a little too much is all. You know the kind of stuff that shouldn't be common knowledge, if you know what I mean."

Hank looked Mike over good then finally rested back in his chair and trying to make the atmosphere in the room more comfortable he propped his feet on the top of an open desk drawer. Both men were grateful that they had already opened that closet of skeletons and Hank had to agree that most of it wasn't stuff that needed to be common knowledge. "I guess I can understand that. Is there anything else you need to talk about?" Hank added some raised eye brows to that question.

"Um, about that," Mike started but was able to take a relaxed position and sit in the chair with his elbow resting on his knees and giving his captain his full and eager attention. "I guess I'm still feeling pretty embarrassed about what happened last shift and I'm not sure what to say to the rest of the guys. I mean it's good to know that they all care and all, but I don't exactly want John and Roy to be checking my blood pressure every hour on the hour and it's only fair that they be able to trust me to do my job and all."

Hank explained that John and Roy had told everyone that the doctors hadn't decided what was wrong with him and as far as they knew no diagnosis had been made. It was decided that when they gathered for their training session after the last shift was gone, Hank would gather the crew around the table in the common room and allow Mike to explain what happened and give his crew mates a chance to respond. Hank also made it clear that it was up to Mike when it came to anything else he wanted to share with the team.

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At the hospital Laura had her own issues to deal with. It was nearly two weeks now since the group returned from the pesticides plant explosion and to her experienced eye several of the first time disaster team responders were showing some serious signs of stress. The most severe being the previously overzealous administrator, who hadn't been seen outside of his office for three days now, but closes on his heels, was Dr. Brackett who was looking more and more like he had forgotten how to sleep.

Dr. Morton had already approached Laura to talk about what he had experienced in working on the front lines and dealing with the burns of some of the least injured at the factory before taking over one of the several clinics set up to treat the evacuated. He had been utilizing her suggestions for regrouping and moving forward since the first week back. In his frequent reports to Laura, during break room chats, he was making progress and felt as if he could handle another crisis if called upon but was hoping it wouldn't happen tomorrow or the day after.

Dixie, the war veteran, had her own experience to call on but she had also read all of Laura's books. She started daily group chat sessions with all of her nurses starting the fourth day after they got back, for both those whom she took with on the disaster and all those who wished to attend. The nurses who hadn't worked the disaster learned what had taken place and served as a support for those who had, they also grew better prepared emotionally for whatever disaster they were called upon to deal with next, weather it were a bad apartment fire, a plane crash, Earthquake, next month's gang rumble or just the next patient that came through the doors needing their help.

Laura intended to solicit Dr. Morton's and Dixie's help in cornering Dr. Brackett in a form of intervention, one way or another he was going to join the gathering on the roof of the hospital during lunch hour and start to release himself from the disaster he had worked.

The administrator was another story, Laura was sure her best course of action was to tackle him head on.

-0-

Back at the fire station the klaxons rang out just as Hank opened his mouth in preparation to call his men to roll call. So instead of facing his crewmates at roll call Mike and the team rolled on a multi car traffic accident. When they arrived they were surprised to find one of the vehicles involved was a tanker hauling propane. The squad pulled at an angle to block traffic and parked behind a station wagon packed with a family of kids. The Engine pulled past them and before it was stopped Chet and Marco were standing and ready to step off and pull the hose.

Hank swung out of the cab of the engine and ran for the station wagon. Propane gas is heavier than air so whatever was leaking from the tanker, and they could all smell it so they knew it was leaking, would travel close to the ground, one small spark is all that it would take to bring about a huge explosion.

Once the battery cables were pulled from both vehicles Hank looked around to see that Marco and Chet were already putting out a mist of water toward the leaking propane tanker. Mike had the pumps geared and going before pulling the real line and stepping up to their side. While Hank aided the driver from the cab of the tractor as he was helping him to a safe position near the squad, when the driver stopped Hank and pointed out the slight distortion in the air. The propane gas was floating down the hill off the side of the freeway and at the bottom of the hill was another major road and then beyond that several homes.

"If anyone throws a cigarette out a window or that gas gets to any of those homes a simple pilot light can set it off," the driver talked fast and was clearly panicked. "I'm sorry, I couldn't stop, this little red sports car cut me off then just stopped in front of me. I tried to stop but you know how it is with these big rigs. They're off the hill just on the other side of the tank."

"You did the best you could, we'll take care of them." Hank said as he guided the man past the station wagon where John was just pulling a third child out of the back of the station wagon, the three children looked frightened but otherwise fine. Of course Hank jumped at this conclusion based on the fact that John was lifting them from the car without any precautions.

"John there's another car on the other side of the tanker, Take Marco with you. Chet turn that hose over to Mike and give Roy a hand." He then pulled the handy talky to his mouth and using the Engine's public address system, "Attention Police get these people back this tank is going to blow." Then with a quick switch, "Station 110 divert to the housing development to the west of our location, we have leaking propane moving toward them, this area needs to be evacuated. LA this is Engine 51, request and additional battalion to assist with evacuation and possible propane explosion and a second station at the accident location to help with evacuation and victims here."

Before dispatch acknowledges his call for help Hank picked up the reel hose and gave Mike a look that they both knew quite well. As Hank pulled the reel line around the tanker to cover Johnny and Marco in their efforts, Mike went down on one knee and locked the hose into his hip for better control.

It was an explosion in the housing development below them that started it off, followed by another, and all the men could do was hope their counter parts had been able to evacuate in time. The men evacuating from the cars moved faster than was normally wise with injured victims as they felt the heat wave move in their direction.

Roy and Chet were hauling the last victim out on a back board as Johnny, Cap, Marco and a police officer hurried around the tank with the two victims of the sports car. Mike watched them retreat as he held his position until they were at a safe distance. The fog of water he was putting up screened his view of the heat wave as it moved up the hill and reached the tanker, the shock wave knocked everyone to the ground and shattered a few car windows on the overpass above. Mike quickly recovered and held the hose, spraying a protective mist between the retreating rescuers and their victims and holding his ground as the gas tank to the sports car was the next to blow.

As soon as the victims were a safe distance away Hank returned to assist Mike with the hose, One police officers and an off duty nurse, from one of the cars held back out of the away from the accident, moved in to assist John and Roy, Chet and Marco moved to assist Mike and Cap and after pulling another hose relieved Mike to get it hooked to the engine and charged as Hank steadied them until the only flame left was pinpointing the crack in the tanker and burning the fuel off in the safest way available to them to empty the tank there was.

Just that fast the worst was over, Hank was able to step back and direct the next emergency vehicles as they arrived and Mike was able to set up the truck to dispense foam instead of water. The best thing to do now was to let the tanker's fuel burn off and just keep the fire from spreading. A second squad moved in to assist John and Roy and the ambulances soon started hauling the victims away to the hospital.

The last of the ambulances had just pulled out when the battalion chief arrived to take over as incident commander. When things slowed down he was able to tell the men that they had been fortunate that the tanker had been on a hill and the two houses below had been fortunate that the residents had been off to work and school at the time of the flash. They were sure the blasts had been set off by the pilot lights of the two homes water heaters. Damage was surprisingly light in the two homes, with windows being blown out and the basements being rattled and ransacked by the percussion of the blast but very repairable. Eight more houses had sustained broken windows but all had to agree, things could have been a heck of a lot worse.

When the water tank on engine 51 ran dry and the men were pulling in the hoses. Hank stepped up to commend his engineer and noticed Mike had burns on his face and his lower arms above his gloves but just below where his turn out coat covered. They weren't bad, they looked like a good old sun burn but there was one blister forming on the back of his left wrist. Hank checked his two linemen over and performed a self assessment, there were a few bruises and skinned knees and elbows from being blown to the ground but all would be fine. Still it was no surprise when the battalion chief ordered them to be checked over at the hospital for any possibility of other blast injuries that often didn't show for several hours after.

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Once at Rampart all the men were sent to the same treatment room and John and Roy were ordered to get vitals on everyone and then each other while the doctors dealt with the other accident victims along with the victims of two other accidents in the area. Dr. Bracket raced through after about twenty minutes and after checking the notes and listening to each man's lungs he ordered cleaning and bandages on all scrapes and burn cream for Mike's face and hands and Chest x-rays for everyone to confirm none of them were showing any signs of blast lung.

The nurse started following orders and two at a time the men were led to the x-ray department. Laura of course stopped in and administered a kiss to treat Mike's burnt lips and a gentle hug for his ribs bruised by the hose, after of course checking over of his chart. Then Laura was back to work and the crew from station 51 was soon returned to duty with instructions to watch each other for complications and return if they saw anything.

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Back at the station Captain Stanley gathered his men around the table in the common room and saw to it that they each had a glass of liquid meant to rehydrate them. He then proceeded to read the memo's and notifications sent from headquarters and then with a gentle look in his direction the time was turned over to Mike.

Mike started by hanging his head and taking in a deep breath then he looked up at Captain Stanley and turned to each of the men with a look of resolve. He saw friends that he could trust and that was all he needed to be able to go forward.

"I , a, wanted to explain about what happened last shift, mostly because I'm embarrassed for the way I responded to a memory that came at me. But I'm also realizing that I've been afraid to talk about a few things because I've been afraid of saying something and now I've decided to just tell you all so that I don't have to be afraid of letting it slip." Mike looked around the table and if he was blushing no one could tell because of the burn on his face, "I really don't want this information getting around casually if you know what I mean."

The room filled with the rumble of five men promising they'd never tell another sole, then it was dead silent as every member of his team was giving Mike their complete attention.

"See, this is not Laura's first baby," the room was still silent but four of the five faces bore a surprised look, "Most of you know that Laura was married before um, to a doctor she worked with in Pakistan. The marriage didn't last long because when she got pregnant he wanted her to have an abortion and when she wouldn't, he , he a, he beat the living crap out of her." Mike finally got it out but he was unable to look at the faces of his friends instead he hung his head and regrouped.

"She managed to get a ride on an air force cargo plane as far as Alaska and then her dad got her a ticket to Seattle where her friend Carlos picked her up and took her straight to the hospital. He took pictures to show to her if she ever tried to go back to him and when we were up there on our trip he showed them to me. Laura was really messed up, I mean she was hurt really bad, when she healed up a little she went home but because of her mixed heritage she wasn't able to get a good job and she found out that her marriage wasn't recognized in the United States so she chose to put the baby up for adoption. She felt that it was the best thing she could do for her child."

The looks in the room were surprisingly nonjudgmental and compassionate and now Mike found it a little easier to go on. "Any way it was real hard on her to give the baby up and after we found out that she was pregnant this time we talked about a few things and she told me that she really needed to hear me say that she was going to be able to keep this baby. Of course I said yes immediately and then when the first doctor she went to suggested she terminate the pregnancy I felt like I wasn't going to be able to keep that promise." Mike took another deep breath and realized he was drifting a little in his intended topic so he shifted back. "Any way last shift I didn't think I was really stressed, there are still a few things with the pregnancy that is frustrating and there's nothing I can do but wait and see but when I was polishing the engine last week I felt really positive. I was just thinking about things I could do or get to be ready for the babies, no real hurry because we still have time, I was even proud of myself because I decided to wait at least until the baby was walking before I picked up anything like a baseball glove or a bicycle."

There were a few smirks heard at that statement but a quick look around the room and Mike could tell for sure that he still had everyone's complete attention.

"Any way I started to think maybe we should get a different car, something that was more family oriented, and since we only have a two car garage I started thinking about which car we might trade in. Well the second I thought about Laura's car I knew we couldn't get rid of it because her dad built it for her Mom. He spent years gathering the best of parts from wrecking lots and then just before her birthday he bought a new engine to put in it and painted it her favorite color and gave it to her for her birthday, but she never drove it, and this is the part that sent me for a loop last shift. See the reason she didn't drive it was that she was very pregnant with twins and then just a few weeks later she died in childbirth along with the twins. When I remembered Laura telling me that and then connected the fact that she is also carrying twins- well it sort of shook me up. Oh crap, let's be honest, it scared me half to death."

Mike let out a couple of quick breaths then started talking rapidly and pleading with his team mates. "I know you all saw what happened but it's real important to me that you know I would never let anything like that happen in field. When I'm out there working the engine or whatever else I'm doing, I never think about anything other than what I'm doing or what might happen and what I need to be prepared for and ready to do. And as far as here at the station or when I'm causally driving I've done a lot of talking and I'm not afraid of the same thing happening to Laura that happened to her mother. I swear it will never happen again."

The second Mike had to stop to take in a breath he felt one hand on his arm and another on his shoulder, when he looked he noticed both Marco and Chet at his sides.

"I have never doubted your skill and ability on the job amigo," Marco responded with confidence, "I trust you with my life, I did before and I still do. This last run I placed my life in your hands with confidence that you would do everything in your power and then some to see to it that all of us got out of there alive and well."

"That goes for me too," Kelly added, "And it feels really good to know that you trust us enough to share what you have just shared. No one should have to carry all that alone."

Everyone in the room agreed not only in their trust of Mike but also their understanding of his current feelings and situation.

"Now what can we do to help you my friend?" Kelly tightened his grip on Mike's shoulder.

"It already helps a lot knowing that you understand and will keep my little secrets quiet, I just never want you to think I'd black out like I did in the middle of a fire or something."

"I want you to know that I feel honored that you know you can share your worries with me and if you ever want to talk about what you're feeling and what's going on with Laura's pregnancy, well I have been through it from your end a couple of times," Roy added with a friendly smile.

"That's right," Chet loosened his grip on Mike's shoulder and gave it a slap, "Cap's been through it a few times himself."

"Well I have lots of nieces and nephews," Marco added, "I know it's not the same but I'm not clueless. We can all give you an ear to talk to whenever you need it."

"Thanks guys," Mike let out a relaxing breath, "If I do ever get uptight again feel free to splash water in my face or ice down my back or slap me or anything like that."

"I'm sure we'll be able to manage that," Chet Kelly responded with a smile that alerted Mike that he was going to regret what he had just said.