Title: Hitting the Ground Running

Fandom: Torchwood

Rating: Adult

Pairing: Primarily Jack/Ianto, with other secondary pairings mentioned

Chapter: 26/?

Word Count: 3373

Summary: AU. Majorly AU. Ianto Jones first encountered Torchwood as a teenager trying to leave his old life behind. However, when Torchwood Three gets rather violently restructured at the start of the millennium, he's got a new assignment in Cardiff. The only thing he wasn't prepared for was his new boss.

Disclaimer: …You really think it's mine? Much as I might wish it was, it isn't. I will go on the record and say that, unlike the show's creative team, I firmly believe in happy endings.

Notes: The interim chapter. Yes, there's only one, because I wanted to get back to the main Jack/Ianto storyline which was somewhat hard to do when Jack was AWOL. But I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, so enjoy :D

Chapter Twenty-Six

In Which Ianto Gets Some Good Advice, Goes on a Rather Unusual Mission, and Acts His Age. For Once.

"Sooo, I take it from your little mopey-face that the boyfriend hasn't come back, yet?"

Ianto turned from where he had been looking over the bay, surprised to see the girl behind him and yet not at the same time. "Not yet," he finally replied, and she clasped her hands behind her back and joined him at the railing.

"You should smile a bit more, yeah? At least you know he's going to be back," she tried smiling to prove her point but Ianto couldn't bring himself to copy her.

"Yes, but the 'when' happens to be in question," Ianto had to point out.

"Ah, yes. Well, the Doctor's usually fairly accurate. Sometimes. Of course, there are time when he says he'll be back in a second and shows up twelve years down the road, but…"

"Amy, I hate to say it, but you're not helping," Ianto told her and she sighed.

"I know. Sorry," she fiddled with the edge of her scarf for a bit. "Anyway, you got a picture of this guy anywhere? You know, you've seen my husband, so it's only fair…"

"Yes," Ianto was a little embarrassed to admit he kept a picture of Jack with him almost all the time, but in this case it was proving useful. He pulled out the old Polaroid that Tosh had taken of him and Jack a while ago and Amy looked at it and whistled.

"Wow. He's stunning, isn't he? You look good together," she added, smiling at the picture as Rory wandered up. "Rory! Isn't he stunning?" Amy thrust the picture in her husband's face and he blinked at it.

"This is Jack, I take it?"

"He's gorgeous!"

"Hey," Rory looked offended, and Amy quickly kissed him to cover it up.

"Now, I've got a craving for ice cream, and I hear tell there's a pretty decent shop around here."

"Just down the street," Ianto pointed.

"You boys want any?"

"Amy, it's below freezing out here. How can you think of ice cream?" Rory looked incredulous.

"I'm craving it," she repeated. "Well, you two are loads of fun, aren't you? I'm getting ice cream," she decided, giving them a wave before rushing off down the Plass. Rory looked after her before examining the picture in his hand.

"Not that I'd say it in front of her, but he's a remarkably good-looking bloke," Rory decided before passing the picture back.

"Sometimes I wonder what he sees in me," Ianto laughed ruefully, his breath coming out in a puff in the cool air.

"Well, it isn't as if you're ugly or anything," Rory said, not unkindly, although Ianto thought his choice of words could have been better.

"Thanks," Ianto replied dryly, and Rory sighed.

"Sorry. Didn't mean it to come out that way," he admitted, and Ianto nodded.

"I know. It's just…"

"I think you're going through the same thing I am," Rory said honestly, and Ianto glanced sideways at him.

"Oh?"

"Yes. I mean, I felt the same way when the Doctor first…ah...well, the second time we met there was a cake involved, but let's not go into that," Rory looked like he'd rather not remember that occasion, and from what he could imagine, Ianto couldn't say he blamed him. "I thought, 'how could I compete with that?' It was obvious Amy was enamored with him, besides, and I was jealous, obviously. He's some great being that's saved the world countless times; he's brilliant…I mean, the man's bloody mad, but he's brilliant; and he's young…at least, this time around. I could see what she saw in him, and I didn't think she'd ever want to go back to boring old me."

"That's…remarkably close to what I'm feeling," Ianto turned to look at Rory fully, a little surprised that they were going through the same thing.

"In the end, though, she did pick me, and I'm pretty sure your Jack is going to do the same," Rory smiled at him and Ianto nodded. "The Doctor's wonderful and everything, but he's not the type to settle for one person."

"Well, he and Jack have that in common, at least," Ianto muttered dryly. "But somehow I think you're right. Jack loves the Doctor, but…"

"It's a different kind of love," Rory finished. "If he said he'll come back, he's coming back, Ianto. You're a decent man, and I can't think of any reason somebody would lie to you about that."

"I believe him," Ianto finally decided. "Him and the Doctor both, for some strange reason. I just wish I had a timeline."

"Amy told you the 'twelve years' story, didn't she?"

"How'd you guess?"

"Just a hunch," Rory stuck his hands in his pockets. "It's bloody freezing."

"And your wife wants ice cream."

"Well, I never said she didn't have her quirks," Rory sighed, glancing over his shoulder as Amy bounced back into view with her ice-cream cone.

"You boys playing nice?" she asked with a smirk, coming to stand between them.

"Well, we haven't caused a public disturbance," Ianto replied and Amy fondly cuffed him on the head.

"Ianto! And by the way…any chance of a coffee for the road?"

"You hit me and then you ask for coffee?"

"It's how she expresses love," Rory interjected, wilting at Amy's glare as if he was afraid she was going to go after him next.

"Ah," Ianto nodded in understanding. "Well, my flat's just a couple of blocks away…and since I am the boss in Jack's absence, I think I can't be faulted for taking an extended lunch, provided the Rift behaves. When's the Doctor picking you up?"

"Who knows?" Amy shrugged. "Sometime between now and sundown, I think."

"Well, if he decided not to show tonight, I've got a guest room the two of you can use," Ianto offered.

"That'd be great," Rory spoke for both of them and Amy grabbed Ianto's hand and tugged him away from the Bay.

"Coffee!"

"Alright; alright," Ianto chuckled and rushed along with her as she skipped along the Plass, feeling like he was actually acting his age for once.

Well, maybe a few years younger than his age, but really; what was the harm in that?

000

"So, explain to me again why Owen and I have to do this?" Ianto asked a couple of weeks later as Tosh brought up something on her computer screen. "I'm not sure I follow."

"Simple; we've got something that's remarkably like the alien sex-gas that Gwen unleashed, but instead of leaving its victims in a pile of dust, it's like it melts the flesh right off of them: all the police have found are piles of clothing and intact skeletons," she stated calmly.

"Sounds like one for us," Owen agreed. "Again, why me and Ianto?"

"Because the alien only goes for men," Gwen supplied. "At least, far as Andy can tell. It's happened every night for the past week, but we think we might be dealing with a shape-shifter as well, because when they've spoken to witnesses; you know, friends of the victim to see who they went off with, the descriptions are always varied; the only similarities we can find are that the victims aren't what one would call conventionally pretty and the man picking them up is always described as being…here's a good one, 'cruelly beautiful,'" she informed them.

"Again, Owen and I…"

"Well…" Tosh started to giggle and soon Gwen joined her, the pair of them laughing until Tosh finally regained enough control to gasp, "It's a gay club. He's a man who only picks up men. That's why you and Owen have to go."

"No," Owen said, shaking his head. "Absolutely not."

"So you'd send me in there, alone?" Ianto turned to him, widening his eyes and plastering a look of incredulous disbelief on his face.

"I…I mean…Ianto, mate, I…"

"Get your best gear on, boys," Gwen smiled wickedly at them. "You're going clubbing."

000

"Oi, hurry up!" Owen pounded on the bathroom door as Tosh tried to pull him back.

"Owen, don't rush him!"

"How long does it take to get ready to go out on the pull?" Owen grumbled, and Tosh let out a long-suffering sigh. Owen hadn't changed from work except to throw on his leather jacket, but Tosh had to admit that he looked…well, she always thought he looked good.

"So, you planning on taking anybody home tonight?" she asked casually, and Owen snorted.

"In case you've forgotten, Tosh? We're going to a gay bar. I am not a gay man," he surreptitiously checked himself out in the mirror while saying it, though, and Tosh had to admit that it kind of ruined the admission. "Ianto!"

"Coming!" Ianto threw the door open and stalked out. "My neighbors are going to complain right away," he muttered, but both Owen and Tosh were staring at him with wide eyes. "What?"

"Bloody…mate, where on earth did you get those?"

"These?" Ianto looked down, shrugging. "Leftover from my days as a teenaged rebel, I'm afraid. Are they okay?"

"You look incredible," Tosh blushed and stammered when Ianto looked at her.

"Does Jack know about these?" Owen asked coyly, and Ianto rolled his eyes.

"Yes, he does. I was going to toss them but he told me not to, and I suppose it was a good idea," he realized.

"Mate, you're wearing make-up," Owen pointed.

"Eyeliner," Ianto replied. "And we need to get going."

"Right," Tosh nodded. "Let's go, then. Gwen and I will drop you off out front; keep your comms on at all times, and for Heaven's sake, don't get picked up by this creature; although with the way you two look tonight I'd say you're in no danger of that."

"Especially if he only goes for the ugly ones," Owen snorted.

"Well, then at least I'm not in any danger," Ianto patted the doctor's shoulder and Owen glared at him.

"Let's just go," he replied stiffly, turning and walking briskly out of the flat.

000

Ianto decided fairly quickly that maybe he shouldn't have worn the proverbial rent-boy outfit, because it was getting tiring rebuffing everybody that either came over to buy him a drink or ask him to dance. Owen was having the time of his life (Ianto swore he hadn't stopped laughing for at least five minutes), and finally Ianto turned to him.

"Can you just pretend to be my boyfriend so they leave me alone?" he hissed.

"Mate, live a little. Take one of them up."

"Owen, I'm in a relationship…"

"You don't seriously believe that Jack's practicing monogamy on his flight through the universe, do you?" Owen snorted.

"I don't believe it, but I'd like to," Ianto admitted, staring at his beer.

"Look, mate, it doesn't have to mean anything. Take it from me; one night stands can be a wonderful thing, and that's all it is: sex. There's nothing emotional behind it," he reasoned.

"Maybe that's your thing, Owen, but it isn't mine. And besides," Ianto sighed, glancing around the bar. "I'm not gay."

"Please."

"Honestly, Owen. It's not…I've never been interested in another man before or since. It's just him, and I don't know why, but it is. Maybe love really is blind," he had a half-smile on his face as another potential shag wandered by, and Owen finally took pity on him and looped an arm around his waist, glaring at the guy until he moved on. "Thanks."

"As long as you don't ask me to snog you," Owen returned. "So. Just Jack, huh?"

"Well, that's one reason," Ianto admitted. "Honestly, I want him to be my first, so I don't…"

"Hang on," Owen blinked rapidly a few times. "Christ, you're telling me you've been together for months and you haven't shagged yet?" he looked incredulous. "Mate, Harkness is a walking libido. There's no way he's staying faithful if you've never…"

"I mean, he's never shagged me. The other way, however..." he raised an eyebrow and smirked and Owen opened and closed his mouth like a fish a few times, although no sound came out. "I know. I never thought he'd be a willing bottom, either, but apparently people are a little more…flexible in the future, and it's actually more rare for there to be established positions in a homosexual relationship."

"So…are you scared? Is that it?" Owen asked, and while from the words it should have been teasing, Ianto could tell he was actually concerned.

"No. It's just never been the right time…and the one time it was, we had a Weevil infestation to take care of and Jack nearly got his throat ripped out."

"Ugh. That would kill the mood," Owen shuddered. "Anyway, if you need advice, I am a doctor," he reminded Ianto. "And it's not as bad as you think it's going to be."

This time was Ianto's turn to look at him with wide eyes. "You've never…"

"I have," Owen looked around. "And I've never admitted this to anybody, but it wasn't all bad."

"What happened?" Ianto asked cautiously.

"Remember that time I snagged the alien cologne?"

"The stuff that made you irresistible?"

"Yeah. That stuff. Well, I'd picked up a broad in a bar, right, but on the way home we ran into her boyfriend, and I thought that he was gonna kill me. That bloke was like twice my size…"

"Wouldn't take much."

"Oi. You wanna hear this or not?"

"Sorry. Continue," Ianto nodded.

"Anyway," Owen cleared his throat. "I thought spraying the stuff would only, y'know, calm him down, but it turns out it doesn't matter what sex you are: the stuff works either way. So he grabbed me and snogged me right in the middle of the road, and it went on from there. Ended up with him telling me the only way I could have his girlfriend was if he could take me at the same time, and for whatever reason I agreed."

"You're not just pulling my leg?" Ianto still looked like he didn't quite believe the other man, and Owen rolled his eyes and lightly smacked his arm.

"No, Ianto, I am not," Owen said slowly. "You think I'd make something like that up?"

"You know you can never tease me about falling for Jack again, right?"

"Oh, of course I can; that was just a shag, mate: you're actually in love," Owen fluttered his eyelashes disturbingly and Ianto shoved him away. "Anyway, see our bloke, yet?"

Ianto scanned the crowd before his eyes widened and he pointed. "I'd say that constitutes 'cruelly beautiful,' wouldn't you?"

"Cripes. I'd do him," Owen breathed, and Ianto couldn't help thinking that despite his admission that he didn't like men in general, he completely agreed with Owen. The man was weaving his way sinuously through the crowd, flirting and smiling but never staying in one place too long. He had soft-looking feathered brown hair that fell partially in front of his eyes and was, for all appearances, physically perfect.

Ianto decided they couldn't attack the guy simply for being handsome, so they waited it out until he emerged from the pulsing crowd with a man that most others would have overlooked. Not that he was ugly, mind; just a little too short and a little too fat and a little too old, and as they made their way for the back exit Ianto turned to Owen. They shared identical nods before slipping off of the barstools and following them through the crowd, making sure that there was always somebody between them and the two men.

When they slipped out the back door, Ianto caught the edge of it before it closed and quickly peered out, seeing a tiny alcove with a rubbish bin that they could spy from, and he motioned Owen quietly out as they snuck over.

"God, what if…y'know…they do it before he makes a move? What then?"

"Then we watch," Ianto hissed quietly.

"Bloody perv," Owen sounded unimpressed, but Ianto noticed he wasn't leaving. "So we're just gonna let this guy die, then?"

"That's not the plan," Ianto shook his head. "Hopefully we can get in there before it starts…"

A blood-curdling scream cut him off and they turned to look, the young man's appearance suddenly changing to resemble nothing more than a mealworm with giant teeth and what was apparently a vacuum for a mouth, because the other man's flesh was literally melting off of him.

"Ugh, that's disgusting," Owen shivered, and Ianto was inclined to agree, but he retained enough sense to get out his phone and snap a photo that he e-mailed to Tosh.

"Ianto? This is it?" her voice came over the ear-piece.

"Sorry if it's a tad graphic, Tosh, but we need to neutralize this thing before it's done feeding," he replied softly.

"No problem. I'll run a scan of the database; see if it recognizes it. Are we aiming to subdue or destroy?" she asked absently, and Ianto could tell she was already researching the creature.

Ianto and Owen shared a look and nodded, so Ianto replied, "Destroy. It's too dangerous."

"Alright. Give me a minute."

"Hurry, Tosh," Owen cut in. "This thing is fast."

"Hurrying, Owen," she said briskly.

"The one time it would be darn useful to have a man that couldn't die…" Owen turned away from the alien, although the sound of its feeding was impossible to block out.

"No," Ianto shuddered. "Can you imagine? Re-growing flesh?"

"Ouch. Yeah, I'm betting it's not like healing a bullet wound," Owen grimaced.

"Ianto? Owen?"

"What is it, Tosh?" Ianto asked.

"Found it. Looks like one fell through the Rift in the early 1900s; there's an entry saying that their composition is most like a common garden slug," Tosh sounded smug, and Ianto smiled.

"Salt."

"Exactly."

"Owen, mind nipping in and grabbing some?" Ianto asked, and Owen patted his shoulder before disappearing back inside, coming back a moment later with a shaker-full. "What do we do?"

"Throw it on the alien. Apparently it works almost instantly," Tosh replied.

"Thanks, Tosh. We'll let you know how it goes, yeah? And…mind calling Andy and telling him there'll be another pile of bones to collect?" he sighed.

"Will do."

She broke the connection, and Ianto hefted the salt shaker in one hand. "Ready?"

"Let's kill us an alien," Owen replied with a smirk of his own.

000

The records were mildly incorrect in that the alien didn't so much shrivel as completely disintegrate, and Ianto and Owen watched the alien-dust mix with the dust from the alley before making their way back inside.

"Well, I guess we should get back," Ianto noted, and Owen snorted, grabbed his hand, and pulled him onto the dance floor. "Hey! Hey, Owen!"

"What? Successful mission and all that," Owen reached up to put his arms around Ianto's neck. "Thought you'd want to have some fun. You never actually have any of it," he jibed, and Ianto sighed. "Besides, we paid to get in here; may as well make the most of it."

"You're hopeless."

"And you wouldn't have me any other way," Owen pushed himself closer. "Now, I know you've danced before, so…"

Ianto placed his arms around Owen's waist and smiled down at him. "It's just not really my scene."

"Make it your scene for an hour or two. Then you can go back to your sterile apartment and pine for Jack," Owen teased and Ianto growled at him in response.

"Thank you," Ianto finally said, and Owen looked at him in confusion.

"For not making too much of a fuss about tonight. You've been…more than accommodating, and I know that despite your experimentation with the male sex, it still makes you uncomfortable," he explained.

"Sod that," Owen decided. "Besides, I know a committed man when I see one, and I'm not coming between you and Jack. And," he added as Ianto gave him a look, "even though I think those blokes over there are practically having sex on the dance floor, I'm still not kissing you."

Ianto laughed and let his forehead rest against Owen's as they swayed to the music, deciding that the other man was right and for once it was nice to just play at being normal.

If only for a night.

Continued A/N: Regarding the whole 'why was Gwen in control in canon?' debate, I'm assuming that the most 'canonically' correct reason is what's given in the TW story "Kaleidoscope," although I have to say that Gwen's inner thoughts about how Ianto would never be able to lead the team didn't make me like her any more than I already do .

However, I DO approve of the fact that on the next page Ianto gives orders and everybody just listens to him. (For anyone who hasn't read it, Gwen becomes the 'leader' because Tosh doesn't want it and nobody trusts Owen to make good decisions. And Gwen, as previously stated, doesn't think Ianto can do it).