First I want to thank you all for sticking it out with me, I know it's been a while since I've gotten out steady updates. Second I want to thank Forbidden Moons for reviewing so many times it put me over 80 of the lovely things (said I wouldn't update until I got at least 80 reviews). Finally, I know we all love Loki to death, but everyone should at least try and go see the Captain America movie, It was so freaking amazing! Also I have been having issues uploading this chapter so that's why it has taken so long to get it on the site. Don't blame me, blame lol. Enjoy!
I tossed and turned the rest of the night. The restlessness was due to how nervous I was. In a few hours I would be going to Asgard with Thor and Loki. Thor told me that his brother would be taken to the dungeons upon arrival but I didn't know what to expect. I'd never met Odin or any other Asgardians aside from Thor's friends and I was afraid. I thought about asking Steve to spend time with me, but after what had happened before I just didn't have the heart to ask. Tony would be belligerent, he'd unintentionally make me feel bad. Thor seemed smarter than he let on, but I wasn't so comfortable speaking with someone I wasn't very familiar with. That also marked Bruce off the list. There was Hawkeye or Natasha, but both of them were a bit too serious for my taste. I thought about Alex, but for this issue I thought it might be a better idea to talk to a female.
That left only one person and I wasn't even sure if she was awake. Unable to hold it in I picked up my phone and dialed the number. There were a few rings before someone picked up the line.
"Naiira, I was hoping you'd call." The voice was tired, scratchy with sleep, but very welcome to my ears.
"Hey Pepper, I'm sorry I haven't been in contact lately." I muttered.
"I know what's been going on, you've been busy it happens. Any reason you're calling me so late?" So Tony hadn't said anything to her. I wasn't surprised, he was probably still upset about the whole thing.
"I'm being sent to Asgard for recon and to figure out who I am." I whispered gently. I heard her move around on her bed.
"This has to do with the tesseract doesn't it?" Peppers voice was evening out now. I hadn't talked to her in so long it made me feel like I was finally home again.
"Yeah." I told her everything and I literally mean everything. I'd never felt more comfortable in my life, sharing the past few weeks with her. I told her about Loki, about my feelings for him. I told her about what happened when I joined with the Tesseract, the Loki who had allowed me to return. When I got to the part when I was rejected I started crying. I even managed to fit in the confession Steve had given me.
"I'm just so confused Pepper, what the hell am I supposed to do?" I asked her. She had listened, never interrupting and waited a few moments after I stopped speaking to give me her thoughts.
"I want you to know I love you sweetheart, you know that right? So what I have to say is out of love even if it isn't something you want to hear." Pepper's tone was even, decisive. I agreed and waited.
"First I want to tell you I'm glad you told me everything. I imagine Tony doesn't know any of this?" She asked curiously.
"He knows of everything prior to Loki's supposed death and only you, Thor, and I know that the man in the story is the god who nearly destroyed New York." I explained. This was in theory of course. Tony and Steve might have figured it out but they hadn't said anything. They hadn't really had time to say anything anyway.
"I'd keep it that way. If Tony knew that you were ever connected to Loki he'd probably do something stupid." There was a moments noise as she seemed to shift her position again. The ruffling of covers and finally the click of the light over the line meant she was probably sitting up so as to better get the words out. I found myself suddenly nervous.
"I don't know him like you do Naiira, all I know is that Loki attempted to enslave us. I trust your judgment, but it is possible that despite him being controlled, some of what he did might have been of his own free will? You're far too close to this to see it objectively, but you have to see it from the other side of the coin. He killed hundreds of people, he tried to take over your mind and yet from what you've described I think he's remorseful in his own way." Pepper was giving Loki the benefit of the doubt despite all he had done. I was pleasantly surprised.
"What are you saying exactly?" I asked.
"I'm saying he's a bad guy Naiira, but he's not evil. There had to be a reason he pushed you away, a reason he wanted you to keep your distance and I think it's best that even in Asgard you do just that." She was right, it was something I hadn't wanted to hear. Anyone would want me to stay away from Loki after all the things he did. Even if Pepper said so, even if Loki wanted it, I didn't know if I could keep away from him for long.
"What about the bond that's there? What about…"
"I know this isn't going to be really clear since I'm still fighting off sleep, but I never said forever did I?" She muttered and I heard her yawn.
"I'm not sure what advice you are giving me here…"
"I don't know about magick or bonds or any of the stuff that people like Thor and Loki live in, but that's something you need to understand before you do something stupid. No matter how you feel or how much you think you get, I don't think any of us know the full picture, just bits and pieces. While you are away you need to look for the entire portrait and make a decision." She explained. I understood. Pepper was a lot smarter than I ever gave her credit for. I needed to look at all the angles not just the ones I wanted to see. She was telling me that I needed to know the facts as well as the experience to make a decision on what I should do. Her words helped more than I could have hoped.
"I get it Pepper, I understand what you mean." I assured her.
"Good, I'm glad I could help. You'll have my support whatever your choice ends up being though, even if it's not one I'd make." She murmured. I chuckled. It seems she was anticipating my series of events being truer than any of us fully realized.
"Thanks Pep, It's like you're my mother figure and my best friend." I felt myself relax. I would be able to sleep now for however long I had left before we left.
"I'm okay with that." I could see her smiling in my mind's eye, a sweet comforting smile.
"Night Pepper."
"Night Naiira."
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Everything moved quickly. One moment I was waking up and the next I had my arms wrapped tightly around Steve's midriff as we sped down the road towards the rendezvous point. I'd seen Bruce that morning, even Tony, but I couldn't remember if I'd said anything to them. I was afraid and it was the warmth of Steve's body and the constant whipping of the wind at my hair that let me know the world was still spinning. I was wearing the silver dress again, I felt it would be the most appropriate for an audience with the all-father.
It was difficult sitting on the back of the Harley with a dress, but I managed somehow. I'd put my hair up in a French braid, the crimson tresses now reaching below my butt. I thought about cutting it again before I left, but decided not to bother. Instead I just trimmed my bangs so they were at a nice angle, some of them framing my face. We were slowing down and my stomach was flipping over and over again. I was about to go to another world, another plane entirely. There was a mixture of excitement and fear that coursed through me as the fountain came into view. Bruce was already standing there with Natasha, and Clint. Tony pulled up just as we did, getting out of the car and running to me to help me off the bike. Steve looked uncomfortable but didn't argue.
"Where is Thor?" I asked, looking around at the familiar faces. I'd miss them all so much it was painful.
"He'll be along soon. Fury wanted to escort him and the prisoner himself." Natasha spoke, her face impassive. Clint looked the same, no emotion showing on his face. They both wore sunglasses which was warranted due to the good amount of sunlight, but still I felt there was more reason for them. Upon closer inspection I saw they were holding hands. I caught Natasha's eye, but she turned away quickly.
"Pepper sends her love." Tony muttered, a desperate attempt to get my attention. I nodded, watching the water shoot out of the fountain behind us. It was a simple design, a few fish rising in white marble, one of these fish spitting out water that cascaded down into the pool below. Somehow looking at it calmed me. I turned once again to the street as the big black SUV pulled up on the side of the road next to Tony's red corvette. I took a deep breath as the doors opened. Fury got out first from the passenger seat, Maria opening the driver's side and then stood next to the car. The back seat door opened and I held my breath. Thor climbed out first, his expression solemn but resolute. That perfect mane of blond hair waved in the wind. He was in full armor, the silver scales covering his arms, the red cape fanning out as he walked. Mjolnir was strapped safely at his side, shimmering in the morning sun. He looked at me as if to ask my permission. I nodded. Thor reached into the car and pulled out an arm followed by a disheveled looking Loki. My heart leapt in my throat. He had been cleaned up a bit, the cuts still obvious on his pale face. His hair was slicked back, one lone strand hanging in front of those emerald green eyes. The silver muzzle was still attached to his face, covering his lips. Those magic sealing cuffs were still on him too. He wasn't fighting, he looked utterly resigned to his fate. His eyes were on the ground, he didn't look up even once.
"Agent Hill, the container please." We all moved to the fountain. So this was it, I was leaving and I didn't know when I'd be home again. Maria took out a capsule, clear with gold handles on each side. It looked Asgardian made, probably the container meant for the tesseract that Thor had brought with him. Inside was the slightly dimmer cube. It no longer contained it's cargo so it was most likely quite useless. Maria handed the container to Thor who took it in his unused hand. I was about to move forward when a hand was placed on my shoulder. Tony was grimacing, he looked like he was in pain.
"I know we said we wouldn't do this Naiira, but I feel like I should anyway. We'll miss you terribly." Tony removed his hand and I turned to give him a big hug. I remembered how long ago it had been that Tony had taken me in as his daughter. We had shared so much and I didn't want to leave him. He was my father, no matter what type of being I turned out to be and I loved him so much.
"Promise you'll find a way to keep in touch kid. I think I'll go crazy if I can't speak to my favorite engineer." I suddenly felt like there just wasn't enough time. Had I neglected Tony when trying to get over my own problems?
"I promise. I love you dad." I whispered. His grip on me tightened and I could have sworn I heard him sniffle as he pulled away.
"Is Tony Stark crying?" I asked, my own tears leaking down my cheeks.
"No, Stark's do not cry." He was fighting it really hard, but I could tell there was moisture in his eyes. He pulled me in for one more hug, sniffling a bit more and pressing a kiss to my forehead.
"I love you too kid, don't you ever forget it." He muttered, pressing something into my hands. I looked down to see a silver locket grasped in my palm. He took it from me and clasped it around my neck. I felt the cold weight over my collarbone and stepped away. I kissed his cheek and moved on before I cried anymore. The faster this happened, the better, like ripping off a band aid. Bruce gave me a smile and Clint nodded in my direction. Natasha walked up to me, pressing her lips to my ear so no one else could hear.
"I saw the tape Naiira, the one from the helicarrier when you talked to Loki. Just wanted you to know I destroyed it, but you won't be able to dodge it forever. They'll find out." I tensed. I had forgotten about that and the fact that the entire carrier had cameras. I was suddenly extremely grateful to Natasha. She could have revealed me at any time, but she didn't.
"Any reason you didn't share?" I asked her curiously.
"I find it good practice to keep more powerful people in debt to me. Keeps me alive longer." She whispered. I found myself smiling despite the position I was in.
"Then I owe you one, thank you." I whispered. She nodded, smiling and stepping back to Clint's side. He didn't look curious but somehow I imagined Natasha had come up with a good excuse. She was good at that, lying I mean. I almost wished I was as good at it as her. Steve was next to come forward, wrapping those big arms tightly around my torso. I could practically hear Tony squirming from behind me.
"You be careful okay Naiira? I need you to come back safe." Steve muttered into my hair. God how I'd miss being able to talk to Steve.
"I'll be fine. I've got the god of lightning on my side remember?" I flashed the leather bracelet in his face, the one with the silver pendant of Yggdrasil etched on it's surface. It was the gift he had given me for my birthday. If I could help it, I'd probably never take it off.
"Tell Alex I'll miss him too. It's a shame he couldn't come see me off." I muttered. Steve looked utterly miserable as he pulled away. I stood up on my tip toes. He was so tall it was hard to reach him, but I managed to press a firm kiss against his cheek. I probably lingered longer than I should have. With one last squeeze to his hand I moved to Thor's side. He looked apologetic, but happy all the same. Perhaps he was ready to get home and get this over with. Yes, I wanted this to be done too. Thor outstretched his arm, wrapping it around my waist. He gripped the container with the same arm around me. Loki had a hold of the other end. He wouldn't look at me.
"Just put your hand over mine and let your power flow into the container." Thor instructed. I nodded, looking out at the others. They were all lined up, watching and waiting. Natasha turned to Clint and whispered something in his ear. His stoic expression turned into a grin that stretched from ear to ear. She probably told him what would happen to Loki when we landed in Asgard. My eyes turned to Fury who nodded an okay in my direction as if I was even looking for his approval. I let my power rise enough to not transform for fear of destroying the precious gifts given to me by the people I loved. Thor looked at Loki and I heard the container turn, locking into place. I looked at Tony who was standing next to Steve. My eyes darted between the two of them. A rushing sound filled my ears, a light of bright blue appeared and those I loved disappeared. We were being lifted into the air, sucked up in a vacuum like tube.
There were times when I thought I'd lose my grip and fall, but Thor's arm was ever steady on my waist. He didn't tighten his grip, but he didn't loosen it either. Just had to make sure I kept a constant supply of power pumping through the container. I didn't know how this thing worked or what exactly was happening, just that it was happening.
I looked over at Loki whose eyes were now set on me. The bright blue backdrop made his pale skin light up, giving a shocking relief to wounds that were visible. A rather large cut over his eyebrow and bruised eye were the worst looking. My heart was aching, but he was the one who had pushed me away. He didn't want anything to do with me and yet I couldn't seem to pull away from him. Thor didn't seem to notice the whole scene at all.
As much as I wanted to, I didn't think I'd ever be able to give him up. I needed him, not just as an anchor to this world but my heart needed him too.